Jun 19 2006Nicole Richie owns her dad
Lionel Richie has reportedly promised to give Nicole Richie and her friends a Caribbean yacht cruise if she puts on some weight. A source tells the London Sun: “Lionel thought some of Nicole’s pals were encouraging her to stay skinny. So he thought if he gave them an incentive to get Nicole to put weight on then that would help her.”
The moral of this story is: starve yourself until your daddy caves and gives you Caribbean cruise for you and your friends. Not only do you get a free cruise with your friends, you also get to look like all the pretty people in the magazines. And that, my friends, is why people consider me the greatest role model of our generation. My sage advice and chiseled good looks.
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Reader Comments
1. lovesIT - June 19, 2006 1:08 PM
oh god i am so tired of nicole!!!
2. ryan69 - June 19, 2006 1:09 PM
first!!! amy and claire check me out! nicole richie is gay.
3. jane's eyre - June 19, 2006 1:11 PM
Nicole, you theiving bitch! You stole my grandma's glasses! You KNOW she can't watch her soaps without them!
4. lovesIT - June 19, 2006 1:12 PM
you're not first sweetie....and that's really obnoxious....almost as obnoxious as the sunglasses nicole is wearing
5. Jacq - June 19, 2006 1:13 PM
I tried to starve myself once to get what I wanted from my dad and all I got was a beating. What can I say? We're country!
Can you starve yourself and still be a fruit-salad head?
6. Jacq - June 19, 2006 1:14 PM
#3 - I love when old people call them their "programs."
7. jane's eyre - June 19, 2006 1:15 PM
Better idea, Lionel; instead of rewarding her for her anorexia, why don't you just lock her up in one of those rehab places? FORCE-FEEDING. That'll teach her to quit starving herself.
8. jane's eyre - June 19, 2006 1:16 PM
#5
Yes, as long as you don't EAT the fruit salad, you're fine.
9. Jacq - June 19, 2006 1:18 PM
She can gain the weight while she's there if she just gets STOOOOOOONED and eats for, like, two weeks on a ship. She can afford the best shit that gives you the munchies.
10. tits_on_snack - June 19, 2006 1:25 PM
I'm sorry but all these giant glasses and flowy clothing and big handbags and scrawny bodies belong in retirement homes.
I'm blaming the Pepsi commercial where Parker Posey dances on the taxi cab, dressed like Estelle Getty.
11. Jacq - June 19, 2006 1:26 PM
She should take Paris with her and go on the Natalee Holloway tour of Aruba to get Paris the fuck off of this site.
12. tarjamarja - June 19, 2006 1:27 PM
7
I was just going to say the same thing. I mean, that's what normal parents do if their kid starts to look like she/he might drop dead from anorexia any minute - put their kid in a hospital or rehab.
13. leahdeadly - June 19, 2006 1:27 PM
oh my fg. did you read what Paris said about Brits choice of outfit for her Matt Lauer interview? She said she should have worn a cute maternity dress. When Paris Hilton is telling you to cover up....
come on now...
14. jane's eyre - June 19, 2006 1:36 PM
13
Yeah I saw that too. It's like having Snoop Dogg (or whatever he's calling himself these days) teaching the anti-drug program at schools.
15. Benny - June 19, 2006 1:37 PM
Just eat you stupid little rich cunt. Put the food in your mouth and chew. Also quit sucking AIDS infested cocks. Paris Hilton is not a good role model.
16. jane's eyre - June 19, 2006 1:37 PM
11 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
We wish.
17. waterranger - June 19, 2006 1:40 PM
Nicole Ritchie is a great big fruit salad head. Only without the fruit salad, cause she wouldnt let that much food near her head.
So basically she is just a great big head. Which is so true!! Its not even an insult!!
18. DinerGirl - June 19, 2006 1:49 PM
Seriously, are there no other celebrities to cover today (or ever)? I want to stab Nicole Richie in the eye with a grapefruit spoon, I am so sick of hearing about her, as well as her unwillingness to eat. Let the stupid whore starve. Why do we care? Her dad's a has-been, so why do we give a shit about this little no-talent cucaracha? Ugh.
#3 andd #6 -- or they call them "my stories."
19. lance1575 - June 19, 2006 1:50 PM
anorexia is so not hot!
20. pinky_nip - June 19, 2006 1:56 PM
She needs be recycled. I'd use her head as a bowling ball for small children, her arms as chopsticks and her stomach as a cereal bowl.
And I'd play stickball with her legs.
21. Fugurself - June 19, 2006 1:58 PM
Put her and Paris in a box and ship it too Warziristan..!
Butt naked..!
22. RichPort - June 19, 2006 2:00 PM
If she were to cut her hair, she would look like Sophia from the Golden Girls. Only not as sexy.
23. jFp - June 19, 2006 2:01 PM
Lionel is the fruit salad head. What makes him think she couldn't afford her own boat trip? The friends she runs with probably have their own boats all ready in the Caribbean. What a load. He needs to back off the pipe.
24. jane's eyre - June 19, 2006 2:01 PM
You know what would be a really good way to give old people their meds? Float their pills in Jell-O. Old people in nursing homes LOVE that Jell-O! My father-in-law was talking about when he'd go to visit his dad, they would have just sat down, and the nurse would walk by with that tray of wiggly delight, and he'd jump up and say, Oh, I gotta go! and totally leave him. So why not put their meds in Jell-O? You'd never hear them complain again.
Okay, sorry for going off on a bunny trail.
25. PapaHotNuts - June 19, 2006 2:06 PM
Terry Schiavo didn't have the choice to eat. She also didn't have a black dad with jerry-curl.
26. pf - June 19, 2006 2:08 PM
Nicole is a bony walking punchline! If i were lionel i'd let her ass starve! She looks at herself in the mirror day after day, and unlike many people that have this desease and no money for help, this bony bitch is rich! she just wants to be bony!
look at it this way, she doen't need a dildo, she has two skinny ass arms to masterbate with!
27. bigponie - June 19, 2006 2:09 PM
poor nicole looks lost, she should "go into the light..."
the light being that subway train at the end of the tunnel.
28. UNWASHEDMASSES - June 19, 2006 2:12 PM
She should go on one of those Richard Simmons cruises, act as the mascot, the ideal that all the fat fatties strive for. Do something good with her sickness, be productive with her self-imposed starvation. What I would really like to see is her and Paris do a real "Real Life", where cameras follow Paris as she hilariously gets the results back on yet another STD (Doctor - "We've never seen anything like it, your STDs have STDs" Paris - "Fucking Brandon.") and Nicole whimsically purges the $240.00 filet mignon she ate after getting pathetically serviced by Jason Mews in the shitter. Now that's hot...
29. pinky_nip - June 19, 2006 2:13 PM
I've seen bigger arms on clocks.
30. Chicagoboy - June 19, 2006 2:14 PM
This whole "heroin-chic" thing is getting ridiculous!
31. spanglish - June 19, 2006 2:15 PM
Those glasses look horrible! They didn't look good in the seventies and they don't look good now.
32. Marty - June 19, 2006 2:16 PM
If Nicole eats, the terrorists win.
33. Chicagoboy - June 19, 2006 2:17 PM
I say let her starve. Her body will eventually start digesting itself for nutrients. Then good-ole-Nic can go up to that model-runway / crackhouse in the sky and we can have some other pretentious celebrities to make fun of intead of this tryout for stick-figure-theater.
34. spanglish - June 19, 2006 2:17 PM
I eat because I am unhappy. I'm unhappy because I eat.
- Fat Bastard
35. kandyk0119 - June 19, 2006 2:24 PM
Her shirt looks like a church window mural
36. Spindoc - June 19, 2006 2:29 PM
It's this kind of parenting that caused her to become a fucked up drug addict whore in the first place.
37. jFp - June 19, 2006 2:35 PM
The hair and glasses remind me of that tired ass Farah Fawcett look. Maybe she'll turn into a crazy old bag too.
38. downshine - June 19, 2006 2:36 PM
she looks good the way she is - her dad just wants her to lose weight because he needs to seem like a more responsible parent since her weight has been getting so much attention lately
39. MeganHarris - June 19, 2006 3:03 PM
I love it in the Simple Life promos when Paris walks into the room Nicole's in and she says, "Nicole, what are you doing?" and she's furious!!!!!!!!!!
40. wwworldclique - June 19, 2006 3:06 PM
For the love of all that is Holy and Sacred... would please someone tell these human toothpicks to stop sporting Granny Glasses the size of cinder blocks. They look like praying mantises!
41. Jacq - June 19, 2006 3:14 PM
#39 - You forgot the cookie she send her. "Good Luck Bitch!" Then, true to form, Nicole throws the cookie out of her car window - doesn't eat it.
42. hendero - June 19, 2006 3:17 PM
she must still depend on her dad's money (bet she's already spent the fortune she must have arned for The Simple Life), so he should bake a cake with hundred dollars bills in the middle, and make her have to eat it to get them.
43. Jacq - June 19, 2006 3:24 PM
*sent*
44. Getitstraight - June 19, 2006 3:38 PM
What is the big deal about? She's not that skinny, she has a nice ass and thighs. What is so skinny about her?
45. jane's eyre - June 19, 2006 3:53 PM
44
"she has a nice ass and thighs"?????
WTF? Do you happen to be a pedophile???
46. jane's eyre - June 19, 2006 4:05 PM
Does this look normal?
http://static.sky.com/images/pictures/1403773.jpg
http://socialitelife.com/images/nrskinny02.jpg
47. BigEyedFish - June 19, 2006 4:16 PM
I don't see Nicole in this picture. I see some sort of insect, but, um, no Nicole.
48. Spindoc - June 19, 2006 4:17 PM
#44, she is too small to fit into a size Zero. Supermodels are like size 2 or 3's and they look freakish.
This girl is already digesting her organs.
49. Jacq - June 19, 2006 4:19 PM
#46 - Ummm, excuse me but your clavicle is showing. That's about as unusual as Michael Jackson's cartilidge (sp? what is wrong with me today?) poking through his skin. So, in other words, totally normal.
50. Carla - June 19, 2006 4:21 PM
Nicole is gorgeous, she is looking beautiful. I wished i could be that thin. Her sunglasses look great on her and i consider that she has a perfect style.
51. RichPort - June 19, 2006 4:25 PM
#46
Those pictures only prove she's a fat bitch.
52. Fisher55 - June 19, 2006 4:56 PM
she looks a lot better than she did when she was obese.
ladies: take note
53. Equalparts - June 19, 2006 5:10 PM
I can't say I dislike Nicole Richie. She was smart enough to know that hanging with a moron like Herpe Hilton was a monumental waste. I knew the nanosecond she came on TV with Paris that it was only a matter of time until she developed an eating disorder. Being in the public eye with some chubs on you is the best diet in the world. That'll cure what ails ya.
54. mrs.t - June 19, 2006 5:20 PM
I'm getting here late, but re: the soaps/programs, my grandma always calls them "stories". Let me use it in a sentence: "Honey, get yourself a Fresca and come watch my stories with me."
55. mrs.t - June 19, 2006 5:23 PM
What can I say? We're country. Or was it cunt-y?
56. jane's eyre - June 19, 2006 5:27 PM
50
You can. It's called anorexia.
57. krisdylee - June 19, 2006 5:29 PM
Does nobody remember she was a fat chunky pork chop when the Simple Life first started???? Fatty succumbed to the pressures to be thin... aaawwww.....
58. jane's eyre - June 19, 2006 5:47 PM
55
I think the word you're searching for is "cuntry"*.
*Registered Trademark, Krisdylee, 2006.
59. herbiefrog - June 19, 2006 7:23 PM
#0 i think she
is looking
happier
and
for that
i
am feelng
happier
come on babe, we can do it :)
together :)
60. Angel_Baby - June 19, 2006 9:05 PM
Sad...she has ISSUES for shur....
61. maiira - June 19, 2006 10:43 PM
Argh, argh, ARGH.
What the FUCK is with those sunglasses? How can anyone possibly think they look good? Why is this sort of thing in style? Why doesn't someone do her a favor and rip those off her face and smash them with a hammer?
Why, god, WHY??
62. Getitstraight - June 19, 2006 11:04 PM
#45
A pedophile.....I think NOT sicko.
63. biggutonenut - June 20, 2006 4:07 AM
Lionel is such a manbitch. You would think after all the mileage on his cock odometer he would be able to recognize and appreciate the power of cocaine to consume and dominate a persons life. What was he a fucking alien in the 70s and 80s....I dont think so....ever heard of a little song called dancing on the ceiling?
64. apricotmuffins - June 20, 2006 6:58 AM
ribs showing ABOVE the boobs is not normal nor healthy, and i cant think for the life of me who can find that 'sexy'. she is far too thin and all of you people who think that she looks good have some serious distortion going on!
65. apricotmuffins - June 20, 2006 7:08 AM
scroll through these pictures and then decide if she looks better skeletal or with a bit more weight on her.
http://www.sky.com/showbiz/picture_gallery/0,,50001-1185835-1,00.html
66. Mr. Fritz - June 20, 2006 8:56 AM
How the hell can Lionel Shitney afford a cruise? Wasn't his last hit song like 20 years ago? That's it, I am changing careers and becoming a mediocre 70's and 80's has-been!
67. cole007 - June 20, 2006 5:03 PM
I have already become a mediocre 80's has-been and it's really paying off! I have a starved sense of self, big penis, and no more money - oh wait, that's Skreetch from saved by the bell on Howard Stern last week.
68. maryb - June 20, 2006 7:27 PM
Geez my dad only promised to buy me a pair of guess jeans (in the 80's) if I got an "A" in Math.
69. maryb - June 20, 2006 7:29 PM
We need to help her! Check out these tshirts and get the word out that she needs to be fed!
http://www.feedhollywood.com/tshirts.html
70. DrunkBlogger - June 20, 2006 10:37 PM
Predictions for 2007: Nicole and Paris make up, and the media shoves the whole thing down our throats...and Lionel Richie makes a huge comeback with some new party music, since, let's face it, we are basically re-living the 80's right now, just with cooler electronics.
71. Ash off lee - June 22, 2006 12:03 AM
We can look forward to this incentive occuring and making magic, Nicole will wake up too herself and relise shes been trying to satisfy herself Superficially to much. And what she really lacks isnt just weight but true satisfaction to know who she is. She will realise theres more to live for than missing out on who you really are.And she will start to find her self again, she has alot of cathing up to do. Good Nicole.