Jun 5 2006Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are paranoid

YAY

I suddenly feel compelled to buy some L.L. Bean.

In other news, I can't STAND Nicole Kidman!! Did anyone see Bewitched? She whispered in the whole movie! It was annoying!!!

I didn't even know she was still making movies, let alone do I care about her wedding.

wow, that guy is REALLY short! Know what Dr. Laura says about older woman marrying younger men (I think the same can be applied to height)...

They want to be dominant and bossy and controlling. That's why she likes short guys!

I think anyone with the username lambananas shouldn't be allowed to make comments about people with annoying voices. At least Nicole doesn't say "dude, you know?" all the damn time.

Now I would be interested if she was going to do a tell-all Tom Cruise bashing interview about how much he loves the cock and how wacked out he is. That would be fun.....I'd buy it on pay-per-view. DO IT NIC! :-D

Wow, I got first... that's a second for me!
I still don't get Nicole Kidman and the obsession over her. I would be MORE interested in Screeches wedding, and I'm totally serious.

Wow, 4 out of 7 posts by the same person.

6

I second that motion. Then she could hand out TCLTC T-shirts afterward.

Looks like a scene from Deliverance to me. One of them will be sqealing like a pig any minute now.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Ms. Kidman ah, nobody gives a shit about you, or your cokefiend boytoy.

He looks like a Jesse James wannabe right there.

Asmith, I concur as to the tell-all. Not like we don't already know, we just need the confirmation.

#9 - I would belive that we would all be owed some sort of percentage on the TCLTC shirts, though, since that was started right here.

I saw that guy at a guitar store the other day. He turned his guitar way up and kept running through blues riffs, stopping to retune every minute or two. Then he started yelling at some kid about memorizing the Chromatic Wheel, and how Steve Vai was a punk that takes credit for Ry Cooder's work in the movie "Crossroads", and how Frank Zappa and Angus Young were both finger tapping before Eddie VanHalen, but it didn't matter because Rock started dying when "black people" stopped playing it, and it finally passed away in '82. Then he put up a flyer for his Funk/Metal/Jazz-fusion band and left.

Nicole told me that the reason for a sunset wedding was that Keith felt that "dusk light" best compliments his buttery highlights.

And also, Nic said when it starts to get darker outside, you can't really see how much of a fucking panty-waist queer he is.

If they have it at night, everyone can still get pics because I bet Nicole glows in the dark.

This story blows. On a different topic, why is Kathy Griffin still on TV? She supposedly had a ton of plastic surgery and she still looks like a red haired Andy Dick. Bravo has gone down the poop hole!

I think the last movie she was in the the darling of the critics that set international box office records.....Bewitched. Gee Nicole, you played the witch kind os breathy and dumb, wow, what a brave acting choice....Too bad Maralyn Monroe beat you to that character oh about 50 years earlier.

@16 ...Kathy can be really annoying but I must say, I'm liking her new celebrity bashing schtick. Have you seen her bashing on Gwyneth what's her face?

Gold!! , you've gotta give props to someone who got fired by E for not kissin' celebrity butt.

I read she is planning a big Roman Catholic wedding. I wonder what Tom thinks of that? Maybe she won't get to see their "kids" if she isn't practicing Scientology. Oh yeah and she and Nicolette Sheridan must have the same plastic surgeon because they both have the scrunched up nose face, like they can't smile w/o their whole face bunching up because it's too tight. Yuck. I can't stand her.

As a short guy (5'4) who loves tall women, props to Kidman for digging shorter guys. Having a girlfriend thats taller than me is so hot, taller guys always giving me a look like I have no business with a womaan of their stature.

I like Keith, I just don't know what the big dealis about her...She's always been so ugly! And now her face looks animated...

19

I don't think he can legally keep her from seeing her kids. But if they're brainwashed like Katie, they won't want to.

I think Nicole used to be prettier, before she had blonde hair and looked like a wet pekingnese.

You can bet those poor kids have been believeing in Xenu since the day the got dropped off at the Cruise residence. My guess is they will pray for her since anyone who goes against then is considered an "abberation" because she is afflicted by "departure from rational thought." Their words, not mine!

In related news, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are so worried about their sex tapes appearing on the Internet that the last time they made a sex tape, they taped it in the dark, with all the lights off, with no sound, no film, and no camera.

It's a good idea, but I doubt anybody cares enough about either of these two, when we have so many other fine celebrity sex tape offerings from Paris Hilton and Colin Farrell.

Although I am curious as to who Nicole is marrying (Keith who?)-- chances are he'll end up loving the cock more than Tom Cruise.

In other news, Kathy Griffin tried to create a sex tape and nobody showed up.

Nicole Kidman is hideously ugly now a days. Her forehead is so big it is a FIVEhead and she's like 9 feet tall and weighs probaly 100lbs. Her skin looks like she has been dead for the past 8 years. Plus isn't she like the worst mother ever? The last time she was photo graphed with her kids was like 2002. Who cares if they get married.

#24 - Actually Andy Dick and some dude showed up for Kathy's tape, but they didn't want her in it.

Nicole Kidman looks like she's about to address the Hitler Youth Army and Keith Urban is the guy that will play fun and functional children's propaganda songs on guitar to teach them about Aryan musical superiority.

Hold on now.
Keith is a big time country music singer and eveb if you hate country music (YAWN), he's very popular in the US and Australia.
OK, Bewitched wasn't a great movie. But I think she is an amazing actress based on
1.her marriage to Tom Cruise
2.Making their break-up look like she was heartbroken.
We should be thinking Oscar!

26, HAHA yer funny

Nicole Kidman was a guest speaker at my Botox Anonymous meeting last week, and she sucked cuz she couldn't open her mouth wide enough to speak

Or maybe their both vampires (or bossibly were-wolves)and feel that it will be more symbolic to have the wedding at night when they can reveal there true selves

(oh dear that was shite)

I read comments all the time for complete amusment. But I have to respond to this one! I live in Nashville and work in the music industry and trust me if you could see Keith Urban in person, you would understand her attraction. First of all, he's really not much shorter than her. I've met her to...she's a flawless beauty with no plastic surgery! It is appareant that the picture is taken on uneven ground and he's walking behind her! Hence that would make it look like he's a midget! I am tired of Hollywood making fun of them. He's a nice guy! They can live here in Nashville and be left alone. We know how to respect people here.

32 - Hey do you live in Candy Land where everything is made of money and people have ten-hour orgasms by just lying around on the beach?
Because in Candy Land nobody makes fun of celebrities and beer is free.

Exactly who cares if these two nobodies get married...burst their bubble!

#32, your delusions are boring...go get a life 'kaythanksss

Stop inbreeding! Ban country music.

#32, if she is a flawless natural beauty with no plastic surgery etc...

Then please explain to me what happened to all the freackles she used to have? HEck she had more crows feet when she did that movie "Dead Calm" with Sam Neil and Billy Zane back around 1990 than she does now. There is so much botox in there that people get numb just looking at her picture.

@32-

You're more than welcome to them, as long as you take Parasite Hilton, Hohan, and the rest of the Hollywood scum along. And if you believe Nicole is a "flawless beauty" without plastic surgery, then you are truly one of the dumbest people alive. Although your little fantasy world sounds kinda interesting....

I happen to like both Kidman and Urban, although I think they make a strange couple! Urban is one of the top country/Western artists in the world. Kidman is still hugely popular in Australia, the UK and even the U.S. You better believe the paps will be circling! It won't be a Brangelina frenzy, but they will be out in force. She has consciously lowered her profile to almost non-existant because of her experiences with Cruise. She wants to be able to walk down the street without being attacked by fans and paparazzi. She sees her children regularly (according to quotes from interviews etc), but protects their privacy fiercely unlike Tom.
And after stating the above, I'm not sure this story is true. Most of these about the wedding appear to be reported by less than steller papers/blogs in terms of truthfulness.

Yeah, I wondered what happened to all the "freakles" too. That was actually pretty funny.

And Keith Urban is UGLY. I saw that pic of him in Playgirl or whatever, where he had the guitar covering his little pencil dick, and is body was just gross. Scrawny and hairless, he looked like a 13-year old. And that girly, layered highlighted hair is just too much for me. I prefer men that actually LOOK like men, not little sissy girls.

Oh, there's a spark in my hair, get it, get it!!!

@39-

I'm sure the fan sites would LOVE to have you. You can go kiss their asses with other like-minded morons. And take #32 with you.

Shouldn't that blurb say that they are paranoid about the "pavorattis" spoling their wedding? Because we all know that is what Kevin Fuckerline calls them and he cannot possibly be wrong...

I hate to slow down this message board with facts because I realize that's not what this site is about, but:

a) They are obviously standing on a hill.
b) Nicole and Keith are both 5'10". Tom was 5'7". I wouldn't say she's dating a shorter guy, I'd say she was dating a guy in her height range who doesn't insist on always standing uphill and wearing high-heel shoes (a la Crazy Guy)

IAMBANANANAS WAS FIRST! GO MY BOY-EE@

#7
maybe you didnt see
her flash he panties
while deep calmed :)

Hey, where's the pic of my beautiful Nicole and her impossibly more gorgeous hubby to be? All I can see occupying that article is a pic of a mother taking her first born to a walk in the park.

Tom Cruise isn't 5ft 7in. That is what he claims. He wears lifts and is around 5ft 5in.

And he loves the cock.

44

*snoooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre*

"Huh? *snort* What? Is it over?"

44- That doesn't explain why she looks like the Lieutenant General of J. Crew, rallying the troops for another assault on classy-casual yacht fashion, I guess.

#50 That's funny.

Who ?

Its not as catchy as TomKat, but I think we should call them U-Nic. (Sorry Keith, but its never going to last anyway.)

#50 - She looks more like an General from the Salvation Army.

It must be fuckin' freezing in Nashville all of the time. I haven't seen a pic of these two NOT all bundled up. That or else hell froze over because Tom finally touched Katie's coochie.

I'm thinking this relationship is already doomed because in this picture, she is clearly getting ready to smite him on the back of the head with her gloved hand. *THWAP!*

What I find hilarious is the fact that they think people actually care enough about them to want to see pictures from their wedding...

i care more about the dog video on the CA thread...

The post with this picture is hilarious.
I am looking forward to when their kids are grown and Tom is dead and she tells all!

I actually like both of them.

Yes, Bewitched sucked, but she also has a huge list of amazing movies. I mean come on, did anyone see Dogville? that movie was mindblowing. and Moulin Rouge is amazing, too. And she did a kickass job in the Hours.

So I hope y'all didn't see her once in Bewitched and think "oh she's a horrible actress." Unless youve seen her other films as well, shut your mouth :P

thats my opinion anyway hehe.

Keith is great, my sister and I met him twice. And come on people, who hasnt had a past of drugs nowadays? Hes been clean for years.

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are so worried about the paparazzi that they've made sure to leak all the details of their June 25 sunset wedding to ensure everyone brings the right photographic equipment.

I think Kidman had exactly 2 movies under her belt before marrying that publicity-whore. Although I'm sure some fan of hers will set me straight, that she was a big star in both Australia and Liechtenstein

(oops, clumsy typist)

...and Liechtenstein before marrying Dopey. I don't believe she got over craziness for publicity any more than he's over his love for the phallus.

That's the worst impression of Jay and Silent Bob I've ever seen.

If you had actually seen more photos you'd realise that they are the same height, shes just standing on a slope on that photo.
Go the aussies!

OK you better check yourself before you wreck yourself. Those of you who say nasty things about Nicole or Keith, that is. What, in order to be respected in Hollywood these days you have to be a drug addict, bad parent or just plain out of your mind? Some people perform for a living and don't get their kicks out of creating drama, for the people payed to be a part of their lives.

That photo cracks me up. Keith is shorter than Nicole but not THAT much shorter. I like them both. I got a glimpse of her in person once, but it was so quick and far away, I really can't comment on her looks or Botox or whatever. Having seen Keith in person, I have to say he doesn't look nearly as girlie as he looks in some of the photographs. He's actually not as skinny as he appears in photos which is weird because photos are supposed to add 10 lbs. His hair doesn't photograph well at all. It's actually clean and shiny and the highlights are not as obvious as they look in the photos. Weird. Oh yeah, and he damn good looking. Very pretty, very blue eyes. He's very laid back and kinda quite, very anti-Tom. I say she's ABSOLUTELY trading up

Nicky, circa 1983. The wonders of plastic surgery- she actually turned herself into a Stepford Wife! She looks like an over-bleached, over-botoxed, anorexic replica of a human these days. Sadly, there was a point in time when she was naturally cute.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/af/Nicole_Kidman_BMX_Bandits.jpg

A great Kidman photo, where she still looks like herself. I wish I had that kind of money, I could make myself a walking-taling Barbie Doll. Alas, I had to rely on great genetics.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/af/Nicole_Kidman_BMX_Bandits.jpg

Here's the deal with Nicole and Botox - she goes to a spa in Palm Springs and gets herbal botox injections - she's laying off the hard core bo because she wants to get pregnant. She also gets weekly chemical peels...hence no freckles...they've been practically burned off. According to someone at the spa - her face is going to fall off in two years because of all the crap she's injecting into it. As for Keith - poor bastard - he's following her around like a puppy - and what's with his highlights? Every time I think ah he's kind of cute, I think about him being at the salon getting those bad boys done. Even someone famous can't escape the foil and the 30 minutes under the dryer...and lets not even talk about him going in for the chest wax...yikes.

#14 - Hey sweetcheeks, your comment cracks me up - I've read it about four tines and everytime I do, I giggle - keep it comin'

What rock are you people living under? Keith Urban is a huge country entertainer who tours world wide, has won male vocalist of the year, entertainer of the year multiple times, has a tremendous fan base, and makes in excess of 20 million a year! He's a sweet, humble person, and is quite the philanthropist, donating huge sums of money to charities, and spending hours at St. Jude's Children's Hospital singing and just hanging out with the kids. As far as Nicole Kidman goes, I'll keep my thoughts to myself - I don't care for her at all and I think she will hurt Keith's career. And as far as Keith being short, who cares? He's gorgeous, and I love his highlights! This is one of the most mean spirited forum I've ever visited, so I'll say goodbye and won't visit you again. It's a joke about being banned for inappropriate comments! It was nice to see a few (very few) posters not interested in posting nastygrams.

wow where did that come from (#70) ?- I love how she defends Keith Urban but keeps her "thoughts" about Nicole Kidman to herself - come on Texylady - it's okay if you hate her - don't be afraid to jump in like the rest of us and say what you feel.

#70
You Go Texylady!
Keith Urban is a wonderful person inside and out. He deserves so much better than that woman Nicole.

Nicole is a mediawhore, who works the media to her advantage -no matter who gets hurts in the end...

Nicole is a selfish, dominate, and contoling person - who wouldn't know love if it came up and bit her in the butt.

Sadly, I really don't think Nicole knows how to love someone.

And I really think that Keith is too good of a man to be caught up in Nicole's web.

I just wish she would go away...

Good for you BamaBabe (#72) for speaking your mind about Nicole...I feel the same way about her but I really have nothing to substantiate it ... I guess I've just always thought she entered into a contract marriage with Tom Cruise for the same reasons that Katie Holmes is about too...and I think it's pretty disgusting that they adopted two kids knowing they would not stay together...I think that's pretty low...and then for her to come out on top with a seemingly nice guy? Where's the karma for doing something for fame and money when they always say there's no free lunches in life? Keith U., is not in love with some woman named Nicole..he's in love with Nicole Kidman the movie star - he thinks he's hit paydirt. And I think it will last - he'll get good sex somewhere else, but he'll keep up the appearances of a great life with her as he watches his female fan base take a downward spiral.. I don't know his music, but could you imagine an entire album about her...God almost laughable, but truly sad at the same time.

I am truly amazed at how many people actually think they know these two superstars in their respective genres. I was about an arms length away from Nicole at Keith's concert in Chicago a few months ago. She literally said "hi" to me at the concert as she passed directly in front of me and we made eye contact. Maybe she heard me say that someone couldn't borrow my camera so they could take a picture of her. I respected her just going to a concert like all the rest of us. She is strikingly beautiful and she looks to be the age she actually is. Hollywood creates special lights, filters, etc for the stars to get photographed by so that we are not quite so judgemental of every wrinkle they get. Shame on us for creating in our own minds the ageless beauties. We think we should comment on the wrinkles, the cosmetic surgeries, the weight gains and losses. Keith is also an amazing artist and looker. May these two be blessed richly with the joy of knowing that they grew up in another country and it took both of them coming to America to meet. That is karma people. I don't know them personally, but I do know of people who have met or know Keith and say he is not only a remarkable person, but genuinely a nice guy. I would suspect that she is genuinely a very nice lady also or they would not be getting married. Way to go you Keith and Nicole.