Jun 13 2006Madonna no longer friends with Britney Spears

Madonna has reportedly dropped her friendship with Britney Spears after Britney gave up Kabbalah and announced on her Web site: “I no longer study Kabbalah, my baby is my religion.” Madonna has allegedly spent thousands of dollars and a lot of time trying to convert Britney and now feels it was all a waste. Britney, who was raised a Baptist, has even supposedly been consulting with a Christian life coach to help out with her marriage to Kevin Federline.
“Madonna spent months teaching Britney the Kabbalah system and splashed out thousands on the ancient scripture for her,” according to a source quoted by Virgin.net, which is further reporting that Madonna is demanding that Spears return the twelfth-century book on Kabbalah that she gave her as a wedding present. Madonna’s rep had no comment by press time, but the source said: “She feels she has wasted time, money and precious gifts on Brit.”
As mentally incompetent as these two are, it's hard to believe somebody worth the GDP of a small nation would care about a few thousand dollars she spent on religious supplies. Although I don't even understand how she spent thousands on Kabbalah stuff in the first place. Did she decide to buy Britney 500 of those red string bracelets? Or maybe the Kabbalah book she got for her was made out of caviar.
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Reader Comments
1. sissybelle - June 13, 2006 12:45 PM
First!
2. echoes - June 13, 2006 12:46 PM
Seriously...get a life.
3. Diane - June 13, 2006 12:46 PM
Poor Britney...
4. Grphdesi23 - June 13, 2006 12:49 PM
Am I the only who think her crying in the interview with Matt Lauer was a complete ACT?
5. Dr.Rokter - June 13, 2006 12:49 PM
A homeless guy once gave me a religious tract entitled, "How can I be safe from Hell?" Then he asked for a fifty-cent donation, and got pissed at me when I didn't have the change. Same thing.
6. jane's eyre - June 13, 2006 12:50 PM
Ha ha ha, Mudge, take THAT! Kabbalalalalala
sucks, and so do you!
7. Nikk The Templar - June 13, 2006 12:54 PM
No, the real reason Madonna is pissed is that Brit-Brit said that her baby is her religion...correct?
Look at the way she handles Sean-Preston.
Yeah, that's really good way to honor your "religion".
And everyone knows that Kabbalah is just the ancient Latin word for SCIENTOLOGY.
8. pinky_nip - June 13, 2006 12:54 PM
I didn't realize Kabbala had Indian roots.
You can give a wedding gift and then ask for it back.
9. blueballs - June 13, 2006 12:56 PM
Madonna can go to hell with a rusty dildo stuck up her ass. She's a skank and responsible for fucking up women by making them think that it's ok to be a skank. Look what it did to brit, who use to be such a wholesome young lady.
10. Binky - June 13, 2006 12:57 PM
Well I doubt if she'll ever get the Tin-Tin books back either.
I guess it would be cheaper for Madge to become a Christian.
She could snatch the Gideons from her hotel.
11. Jedi Kevin - June 13, 2006 12:58 PM
Dude, fix the typo.
"Or maybe he Kabbalah book"
12. pinky_nip - June 13, 2006 1:00 PM
Dude (in the pic)... you do the "cootchy-cootchy" thing on their FACE cheeks.
13. Aimtrue - June 13, 2006 1:01 PM
I love Kabbalah. I grill it with some nice onions. On a toasted kaiser role. Maybe some sauer kraut and a nice mustrad. Hmmmm Yummy. Wash it down with a nice hefeweizen.
14. sissybelle - June 13, 2006 1:02 PM
Hey, echoes, I was FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!
15. Icognito79 - June 13, 2006 1:03 PM
Kaballah makes me want to vomit. I just gained a little respect for Britney. Ok, I wouldn't go that far, but she finally came to her senses about ONE thing.
16. RichPort - June 13, 2006 1:04 PM
Hard to say which of these two is more grating, though Madonna holds the probable lead, about as tedious as getting a splinter out of your ass, by yourself, after stupidly sitting on a dry boardwalk.
These over paid morons who wave their religion around and impugn those who disagree annoy the crap out of me like bad Mexican food. The thing I like about Madam Federline is that she seems to be absolutely clueless and completely confused at her own existence, providing much needed fodder for the rest of us. The last great thing Madonna did was get a dirty sanchez from Big Daddy Kane.
17. BigJim - June 13, 2006 1:05 PM
That Madonna is such a fickle bitch. We were good pals for a long time, and then I give her the rusty trombone just once and she's all like, "We're not friends anymore."
18. superstar26 - June 13, 2006 1:14 PM
8
That's great. LOL
19. They Suck - June 13, 2006 1:16 PM
Madonna is a ho.... who knows, maybe Brit will become a Scientologist now??
20. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh - June 13, 2006 1:17 PM
Ever since she came over to my house and drank all my Yukon Jack, ate all the butter, and broke my armchair, I'm not speaking to Britney either.
21. PapaHotNuts - June 13, 2006 1:18 PM
Instead of wearing a red string around her wrist (Kaballah style), we should convince Brittany to wear a large noose around her neck.
Then we can hang her.
22. iamashitstain - June 13, 2006 1:18 PM
OMG, Brit is sooooo dunzo. Hey guys, like I'm a kabbalhist and I thkni its rude to make fun of ppl's religion. Like Kabbalah is very deep and spiritual, you guys are just toooo dense to understand, LOL.
23. Doxes - June 13, 2006 1:20 PM
Nothing says "class" like demanding a wedding present back.
24. superstar26 - June 13, 2006 1:28 PM
Kaballah=scantilly dressed hobags with $
Sean Preston=trailor trash wearing clothes that look like poor homeless people's wardrobe
Geez--I don't know how I can choose
25. troubleinaborrowedsuit - June 13, 2006 1:36 PM
Now, the question becomes:
Is this a breakthrough? Will Madonna realize she is not a superior being and *gasp* get over herself?
No.
26. sweetcheeks - June 13, 2006 1:37 PM
Britney made out with an OLD chick.
Madonna made out with a FAT chick.
I think it was just bad all the way around, for everybody. I'm embarrased for both of them.
27. maryyy - June 13, 2006 1:39 PM
this is old news.
28. Chicagoboy - June 13, 2006 1:43 PM
Two thoughts:
1. Madonna spending thousands of dollars and a lot of time trying to convert Britney is like trying to teach a dog tricks to a pig. All you are going to do is frustrate yourself and annoy the pig.
2. Britt is consulting with a Christian life coach? Why wasn't this cat consulted before Brit-brit turned into a frito-hogging, trailer-trash baby factory?
29. that-dog-is-shifty-eyed - June 13, 2006 1:45 PM
Well my friendship with Brit was pretty much kaput when we were playing a fun game of "fingers" and she refused to wash off the cheeto residue from hands. That is just unacceptable.
30. Iambananas - June 13, 2006 1:47 PM
Hey! It's the picture where shes holding the baby by the leg again! Who here besides me is expecting her, one day, to be photographed carrying him by the ears?
Maybe she should go back to Kaballah, it might teach her how to be a good --- no, average --- mother.
Madonna never dropped her kids, almost dropped her kids, always puts them in car seats, covers their fair skin in direct sunlight... so Kaballah might be a good thing for her.
31. Skönflicka - June 13, 2006 1:48 PM
Isn't Madonna Esther now ?? She changes religion every 5 years anyway ...
I just saw a 12th-century book on ebay with Cheetos fingerprints on it ...
32. N. Visible Man Jr. - June 13, 2006 1:53 PM
I had to ask Madonna not to come by the house anymore. The dog was tired of her trying to get him to mount her.
He still likes the stain Brit leaves on the couch when she leaves, though.
33. krwlng54 - June 13, 2006 1:56 PM
It's people like her that make it easy for others to prey on southerners...How sad.
34. chelsea_423 - June 13, 2006 1:58 PM
I kinda understand Madonna wanting that book back. Even though Kabballah sounds like a load of crap, a twelfth century book is a little too precious to be in the hands of Britney. Before long either her kid would pee on it or K-Fed might use the pages to roll a doobie. Preserve history, people.
35. that-dog-is-shifty-eyed - June 13, 2006 2:02 PM
N. Visible, I didn't have anything in the fridge that Madonna could eat (she's on that macrobiotic diet) so she skinned and ate my pet ferret Scooby. Needless to say, Madge has been banned from my place too.
36. N. Visible Man Jr. - June 13, 2006 2:04 PM
Man, that's harsh. I thought the possum breath came from all the man juice she's eaten over the years. It must have ferret breath instead.
37. Chrystal03 - June 13, 2006 2:09 PM
I haven't liked Madonna since the 80's. She needs to stick to music....not politics or trying to promote her religion. Just sing bitch.
38. Zanna - June 13, 2006 2:10 PM
I'm not a big Britney fan...but even before all this..does anyone really think she should have gotten that book to begin with?
Stupid is as stupid does, Madonna. Suck it the fuck up and face it..Britney is using it as a coaster.
39. Doxes - June 13, 2006 2:10 PM
#34, Madonna should have thought of that before she gave it to Britney. But that's what happens when you're a megalomaniac and assume everyone will automatically bend to your will.
40. GeannaSparrow - June 13, 2006 2:19 PM
Um... where did she learn to carry babies?
I've never been pregnant.
I dont have a little sister.
I dont even have a little cousin.
But I bloody know how to hold a baby in my arms without having him fall off, and bang his head on the floor.
And without having his little head hanging obviously uncomfortably...
I feel like smacking that woman senseless...
Really... what a moron.
41. Spindoc - June 13, 2006 2:24 PM
Madonna is asking for the return of a WEDDING PRESENT?!?!?!?!?
Yeah, Madonna, you might as well ask for the return of your virginity, if they could find it still stuck to that old moldy mattress underneath the Freeway onramp just outside detroit.
42. M@ce - June 13, 2006 2:26 PM
Why is that guy in the pic pointing toward Sean's bung hole? "Britney, this is where the food comes OUT, not in..." Either that, or he's showing Sean what his daddy is. "Can you say daddy's a shit stain?"
43. that-dog-is-shifty-eyed - June 13, 2006 2:27 PM
Well she certainley didn't learn it from me, I hold babies upside down by the ankles. It's really cute when the head starts to look like a big tomato.
44. limper - June 13, 2006 2:41 PM
Wait, Britney's baby is her *religion*? That's even more proof that Sean Preston is the Antichrist.
45. PapaHotNuts - June 13, 2006 2:44 PM
Posted from Brittany's website:
"Although I no longer practice the teachings of Kabbalah, I still value my friendship with Madonna. I am offended that she requested her wedding present back, but I will be glad to return it. I'm not sure what she's going to do with a "Wigger's for Dummies" book, but our friendship means more to me than the thought of understanding anything that comes out of my husband's mouth."
46. sharkbite - June 13, 2006 2:46 PM
Boo hoo, Britney wises up just a tad. Now, if only we could only get some people out of Scientology...
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
47. Italian Stallion - June 13, 2006 2:47 PM
I found my "Spirit Guide" once while I was visiting Arizona. We walked through the Grand Canyon and talked with wild life. He told me all the secrets to life. I can't tell you guys everything because I don't quite remember all of it, those were some great mushrooms. Come to find out I wasn't even in Arizona.................
48. Faith - June 13, 2006 2:52 PM
The last time DirtyRottenKevin was with the pregnant mother of his baby, he left them for Brit, so maybe she's got good reason to cry. (Personally, I would be celebrating at just the thought).
49. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh - June 13, 2006 2:53 PM
Native American is the new black. Pass it on.
*'Black' is open for interpretation.
50. that-dog-is-shifty-eyed - June 13, 2006 2:56 PM
I have a similar story, but replace "mushrooms" with peyote and "talking with wildlife" with me and my brother Daryl trying to have sex with a mule.
51. that-dog-is-shifty-eyed - June 13, 2006 2:58 PM
Does Marc Jacobs make a Native American, I only wear designer heritage.
52. xAgonyxScenex - June 13, 2006 2:59 PM
good thing she got out to. Kabalaah is not different then Scientology. And what the hell is Madonna bitching about. A couple gran is like pocket change to her.
53. Bleh - June 13, 2006 3:01 PM
Sean Preston is a God. Everyone is required to sacrifice a celebrity and drink their blood in his honor.
54. Italian Stallion - June 13, 2006 3:05 PM
@51 No wonder that dog is shifty eyed, stop having peyote sex with animals.......
55. that-dog-is-shifty-eyed - June 13, 2006 3:11 PM
Stallion, we all have are vices. What are you, the animal police?
56. that-dog-is-shifty-eyed - June 13, 2006 3:12 PM
*our* vices. it's hard being dumb.
57. Italian Stallion - June 13, 2006 3:19 PM
Not animal police, just like fucking Mules and don't like the competition, stay away from my Mule pussy, that is all................
58. UNWASHEDMASSES - June 13, 2006 3:28 PM
Poor Brit, even her idol know turns against her. Is there a single person out there who likes her anymore (immediate family included)? And Madonna - what a sow. Gone all Babs Streisand on us, charging $350.00 for lawn seats and exploiting the homosexual fan base that has funneled cash up her ass for twenty years and stuck by her through Dick Tracy and Bedtime Stories. I agree with a previous poster who commented about gifting Britney with a 12th Century book - might as well let Gary Coleman borrow the Constitution for a dinner party. Fags, stop drooling over every tired ploy this rode-hard-and-put-up-wet skank wheels out and let her die already. Britney, quit juggling religions and issuing bizarre statements and start by jetisoning K-Fag, you might actually get some of your fanbase back with that one, cost-cutting move and find the stability your life has been sorely lacking. And, as always, the kid is not smiling.
59. Shelley Bonnechance - June 13, 2006 3:45 PM
Hahahahaha too funny, requesting the return of a wedding gift. Don't give it back, Britney.
#38 - using the book as a coaster...that was funny, too. :>)
60. Zed - June 13, 2006 4:10 PM
If you look closely, she's not even holding Sean P with one hand--it's more like 3 fingers. Because the sunglasses, just like the drink in her hand the day she almost dropped him, had equal if not greater importance than the baby that is her religion.
Oh, Brit, whatever are we going to do with you? I saw the preview to the Dateline interview and she gives her stupid bottom-lip out face when Matt says word is she's a bad mother. Then she says, "I know I'm a good mother." Well that certainly proves it!
I know I'm the most intelligent, wise, and good-looking person in the entire universe and beyond, but if only 3 or 4 other people agree with me on this point, it might mean I'm wrong.
(But I doubt it.)
61. sissybelle - June 13, 2006 4:24 PM
Sean P., I suggest that as soon as you can those fat little legs working, you run like a mo-fo for the nearest airport and get the hell out of there --
62. HarryNipples - June 13, 2006 4:25 PM
I heard Britney quit because Madonna tried to teach her the ancient Kaballah art of cunnilingus...
Unfortunately, she thought "cunnilingus" was an Irish airline and when she found out the truth she quit...
This is the truth, honest...
63. HughJorganthethird - June 13, 2006 4:49 PM
Wieght Watchers should be her new religion
64. kandyk0119 - June 13, 2006 5:15 PM
MADONNA ? The freakin queen of wishy washy personalities is gonna get pissed because Britney went back to Christianity....
I wish we could take back all the money we spent on her albums and shit when she was an "American Girl", before she transformed into a UK girl accent and all. Fake Bitch!!!
At least Brit is going back to her roots not to the newest latest greatest celebrities warped spiritual practices.
65. cibby - June 13, 2006 7:17 PM
Madonna's fake British accent, and then the switch back to an American accent = awesome.
We should all do that. I've got a fake Mexican accent that's just as bad.
66. ChickenScratch - June 13, 2006 7:27 PM
That poor baby.
I don't know why, but I just feel so bad for him. You know he's going to be spoiled by her and her family, he already is spoiled, but he's just so innocent and cute. I just want to kidnap him and make him forget he ever was the son of two complete morons.
67. Amit - June 13, 2006 8:28 PM
Spears should be proud of where she came from and try to find her roots and some help in a good old southern style congregation.
as for this Hollywood Kabbalah cult, it is nothing more than a sham operated by ugly money diggers and has nothing to do with real Kabbalah.
"Kabbalah" is in fact a complicated branch of study in orthodox Jewry that is reserved for pious Jews who are above 40 years of age, interested in widening their knowledge further.
Christians or members of any other religion (unless at their own interest and some say risk) can not study Kabbalah unless they converted to Judaism at a really young age and started studying the Torah. BTW Kabblah is considered banned even for secular jews.
This information is available everywhere and all these Mad-onnas joining Berg's cult are simply too stupid to notice. For me (as an orthodox Jew) it's the same as scientology only with supposed Jewry origins.
68. herbiefrog - June 13, 2006 8:46 PM
about 12
the manny is taking orders
from sean preston
lol bitch :)
69. herbiefrog - June 13, 2006 8:50 PM
#68
not sure we can add
to this thread :)
70. herbiefrog - June 13, 2006 8:56 PM
...except of course
to explaun
or eaplain
or expain;
exlian
apparently
we aren't
allowed
to
explain
at this time
except to say
maybe sp
knows
more
than
he's
letting
o
n
:
)
71. Iambananas - June 13, 2006 9:01 PM
I am gay.
72. herbiefrog - June 13, 2006 9:07 PM
#60 if you look even more closely
sp is asking her
[asking note]
to turn the blackberry
so he can read it too
damn sunlight : )
73. herbiefrog - June 13, 2006 9:13 PM
#67 absoluet fucking carap creap crp
oh bugger
all religions
were written
by men :)
why would
y
o
u
need them
anymore
[oh hang on]
[sound effects]
[cuz i can]
[thanks pink]
[thanks babe :) ]
74. DrunkBlogger - June 14, 2006 4:46 AM
Maybe Madonna should realize that friendship lines don't have to be drawn between religions. Maybe she should also realize that she is washed up and sucks. Maybe I should realize that my first sentence sounded like my junior high "Positive Life" class teacher. Shit.
75. Brak - June 14, 2006 9:00 AM
K-Fed? Dent in wallet. Kabbalah? Dent in wallet?
76. christine - June 14, 2006 1:56 PM
Good for Brit! Esther sucks now anyway. I think that Brit is trying to get back to the good things she had going for her. And, no, I don't think that is an act with Matt Lauer...
77. herbiefrog - June 14, 2006 3:16 PM
#0
...oh
...and by the way :)
britney said "her baby"
not
sean preston
lol babe :)
78. Randy Pan the goatboy - June 15, 2006 5:52 AM
As hilarious and peacespreading as religion is, there is always nice to see that instead of letting them die out, we invent new ones. Keeps the world a dramatic place.
With scientology being the last "new" religion, it's good to see that this new selfshitting religion is even worse. I can see a steady religious curve and it's going downhill. This is a good thing, because in 50 years we'll have religions like Dipchupiter and Rubamachee where you do stuff like "Dip your willy in hot chocolate while facing the direction of Jupiter" or "Rub the holy lama with melted cheese while chanting into an empty bottle of Jack Daniels". You know, stuff that makes sense in religion.