It's like she's trying to be a human Barbie.

That's cuz Papa Simpson can't get rock hard with slouchy boobie belly.

I think the Superficial is really reaching here. I do not see what is wrong with her posture in these photos. I mean, cmon, she looks really fucking hot in these photos!

Tom Cruise might even forget the cock for a moment if he saw Jessica looking like this.

I'd eat her with a spoon

Her skirt is so short I can tell what her fallopian tubes are doing.

Classy, Jess, very classy.

Why is this chick such a loser? Someone PLEEEEASE make her go away!! She looks like a Femmebot.

I'd gouge her eyes out with a spoon. Then push her down a flight of stairs and watch her try to cry.

I'd fuck her 8 ways from Sunday, even if I would have to paper-bag her head since she looks a little manyl lately. Must be all the testosterone she pumping into her body.
And by that, I mean all of Papa Joe's cum she's been swallowing.

TCLTC, in case anybody has forgotten.

Good thing the CSI guys aren't there with the black light. Some of Mr. Simpson might show up.

Someone told her that the first sign of being a retard was being able to touch your elbows behind your back. She keeps on trying, just in case...

Despite the fact that she looks like a fucking trashy whore, she seems to be morphing into something of a mongoloid - too much plastic surgery...maybe her back is sore from laying on it so much during screen tests...

(No Jess, a mongoloid is not someone from Mongolia...)

#10 Tee Hee Thank you, its been a slow morning.

So since divorcing her hubby, she's: a)clearly worked on her tan, b)gotten her highlights redone, c)gotten into miniskirts and d)... I was begining to forget why she was a celebrity. On the other hand, she is not knocked up with curlers in her hair.

Two words: Stepford Wife.

Or more accurately, Stepford Ex-Wife.

Lets see, she's not a drug addict, not a whore, not an heiress, married a shmuck but at least one who had some capitol originally, um - I don't get it. Is this sour grapes? I think she is erroneously dumped in with the rest of your regulars. I'd hit it, then be bored by it.

It's about time Ken did her hair. Speaking of, he is suspiciously absent. I guess she just takes him slumming?

Between Brit and Jessica - Jessica won.

#15

oh brother...

I wonder when she bends her knees if it sounds like a barbie doll's knees.

Can you say Chyna Doll?

How to spend 4.0 hours when bored?

Connect the moles on Jessica.

She looks like something that should be mounted on the front of a ship.

Her back must be killing. She's sticking her chest out, sticking her butt out, and making her calves bow. The pressure of this unnatural stance is visible in the big vein popping out of her ankle in pic #4. Way to advertise, jess.

And I think she's going for the "60's Barbie".

That is odd...
http://ultra8201.blogspot.com

shes doing that because her boobs are real and shes trying to keep them in place when really she should have worn a different dress or at least better support. Mystery solved.

http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/baby_blabber/the_baby_is_here_yall_20060606.php

I hate it when she tucks her chin down on her shoulder like that.

what's going on with her leg in the first pic on the bottom? there's an odd bump....

LOL@#10

She looks like one of those bendable gumby figures. I feel like trying to bend her leg all the way back.

Waterranger #5, read GoFugYourself much? Plagiarism is lame.

("Fab legs, Aisha. And great shoes. But that weird pointilist nightmare of a dress is so short, I can tell what your fallopian tubes are doing." -GFY, May 12, 2006)

Look at those rickety legs...Suddenly I'm becoming a Jessica fan. Pass the Chicken by the Sea, will ya ?

Is this at a promo for Dukes of Hazzard II? because if it is I'm totally amped. Or maybe it's all the Vault soda I drank. It's either one or the other.

Jessica, I promised to feed you meatless Buffalo wings if you'd let me do you doggystyle.

i actually think that she's looking very good lately

She's trying very hard, isn't she?

she's also making sure that her thighs don't touch by sticking her ass out.

Oh I forgot to add...Happy 666 day! I saw the devil...or it might have been 'lil Kim, I'm not sure. Is there a difference?

She's standing stiff because she's Jess Simpson, and just like she didn't know Chicken of the Sea was tuna, she wasn't aware ben-wa balls go up your pussy and not your ass.

#26 - Me too. I think she's aiming for cutesy. She too fuckin' old for cutesy.

@37, you have me choking with laughter...

She's really very hot, with one exception... I've been saying this since I first saw her a few years ago... SHE NEEDS A NOSE JOB!... If she got that wicked camel's hump taken out of the bridge of her nose she would be nearly perfect... Oh yeah...

@37 Remember the time when Jessica turned down an offer to meet Bush?
She was confused because she heard that she had to SHOW Bush,
instead of just meeting with him - that's why she turned the offer down, you see...

#29

I noticed that one too.

#38

Hey you, what do you mean- too fucking old??? … isn’t she like 23 or 4? … that’s pretty young isn’t it? … I mean what’s your “cutesy cut off age” anyway??? ... I think she’s just… licky-licious

"So since divorcing her hubby, she's: a)clearly worked on her tan, b)gotten her highlights redone, c)gotten into miniskirts and d)... I was begining to forget why she was a celebrity. On the other hand, she is not knocked up with curlers in her hair."

Well said, Lord Absu. The tan is way too much, and standing like that is incredibly tacky- and bad for your back, but I believe that point is moot. At least she has proven that she really *is* a no talent ass clown.

(And yes, I stole that fair and square from Office Space, for all you worried about that sort of thing).

she's a robot trying to eat her left shoulder

Step 4: Shove broomstick up your ass.

1) dress is ugly and too tight

2) it looks as though she's had SOMETHING done to the twins

3) not only is she thrusting her chest out, but she's trying to push her butt out too (or maybe the dress is actually shapped like that...like a tube that shapes her?)

4) from a profile, her stomach looks bigger than her boobs, thus making her boobs look small

5) looking at the last picture, her toes are coming out and over the edge of the shoe...tacky

Finally:
6) if you look carefully at the left boob, where the flower sticks out, you can see a hint of a nipple

What's Tomkat up to these days?

kidding

Just a thought:

Maybe Lachey emitted "stupid" phenomerones and leaving him is helping
her regain her 10th grade mentality.

I still wouldn't mind hiting that TUNA QUEEN with a rancid cunt.....

I wish she'd start dating O.J.

The second to last pic looks like shes advertising a toothpaste or smethign.

Her face looks like that because Papa Simpson pulls on her ears when he's boning her in the exit hole, freezing her face in a ghastly smile-like grimace. Consequently, Ashlee's pillow has the impression of her open-mouthed face for pretty much the same reason.

The only position she needs to be in is on all fours, naked. Or maybe on her back with her knees behind her head. Or on her stomach, legs spread wide. Maybe bending over the edge of the bed, spreading her ass cheeks apart, begging for the cizock. I don't know, I guess they're all OK.

Has anyone ever stood in 3in heels before, and been that top heavy? It's the shoes that are making her stand like that.

The dress explains what happened to all those little lacy cloths my Grandma had around the house.

Wow... she's really pushing them boobies out, there. Were all impressed that you look like a mannequin.

55
Ha ha! My mom used to have those stupid little doilies all over the living room when she was going through her "country" stage--one on top of the sofa, one on top of the chair, one draped over each arm. And we as kids were always disturbing their precarious balance, and she'd always nag us to fix them. Then it'd get to the point where we'd purposefully put them askew, just to see her go over and straighten them. My dad joined the fun too, sometimes. Ahhh, good times. I'll tell you about the time we poisoned the tomato plant with soda some other time.

She didn't have a boob job, but that's a definite boob lift.

It's weird how she can stand up so straight when she has no spine.

#54... yes, I have.

#53

Now those were not a very lady-like things to say! ... However, I must thank you for the delicious pictures in my head... excuse while I go take care of myself...

if we look very close you can see the clear doll stand around her waist.... "I'm going with the I'm trying to hard... freak of human nature look". "I'm trying to make you remeber I'm that I'm hot... not talented."

if you study the subject more closely from head to toe....
WWWWRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
....those f-ing toes.... they look like fingers!!!!

Who is here stylist??? Fire the, Bitch!!! Who is letting you leave the house dressed like that... those shoes are wrong for that outfit on many levels as well as for your toes on a them make me barf level

#61 Don't do it! You still have so much to live for!

SHE LOOKS LIKE SHES WEARING A FUCKING DOILY!!

Posture like that will make your breasts grow big and strong, like two strapping young farm boys from Iowa, bred on sunshine, hard work and ma's apple butter.

when my friends and I were little, we used to make Ken go down on Barbie all the time.

Lucky bitch.

Osh, Almanzo and Royal...

I remember that lamebananas had this fantasy group "it" created, because it mistakenly believed people were obsessed with it. It called this club COOB – Club of Obsessors Over Bananas, or some other such ultra-retarded, delusional shit.

Now to me, the term coob sounds like it refers to something especially nasty, like a diseased vagina. To use it in a sentence: "That Paris Hilton has the nastiest smelling coob on the planet."

So, lamebananas, in my opinion, is a total coob. So are all of its aliases. Referring to it, or one of its aliases as HWMNBN is a pain in the ass for me, so from now on I'm just going to refer to it as coob.

67 - Mine are named Bobby Joe and Cleetus Jay, but to each her own I guess.

#63

No, no... they are delicious pictures, not bad ones...besides the deed is done and now I crave for a cigarette... since I have your attention dear Dr maybe you can help... while I was wrestling with my python and just before he coughed up the baby batter, I notices that he has gotten even thicker and longer... might there be a cogent medical explanation for this most welcome phenomenon?

@70: I am not a "trained" doctor, but I have played/played with one, and I think your condition is called "delusions of grandeur"

70 - Yes: You are a liar and a faggot. And probably British. Ouch.

67,n 69

Are those the names of imaginary friends? I call mine "Realistic Pulsing Vagina", "Chasey Lane Pussy and Ass" and "Mr. Grumpy, the Buttplug for Beginners"

#70 Nope, unless you've been taking Enzyte. But I heard that shit is actually just hair shaved off of Chinese mental patients.

Pythons coughing up baby batter sounds like something out of the Book of Revelations.

I also notice that Simpson habitually wears the same expression my dog makes when he takes a dump

Baby Shiloh Pitts debut on www.popsugar.com

She's not all that

I'd hit it so fast I'd get whiplash. Then again, I'd hit anything with a pulse and a skirt.. Well,a pulse at least... Aw, who am I kidding.

BigJim... you will not get your membership upgraded, but it's good try.

You're still Vice President of C.O.O.B.

Whose the president?

Happy 666 bitches!!!

Satan is coming over for tea and crumpets around 2 MST, if any of ya'll are in the neighborhood.

http://images.popsugar.com/uploads12/11ugrbo.jpg

photoshopped?

73 - I refer you to #69, and then I refer you to 69, if you know what I mean. Referrals are awesome.

P-nuts

George W. Bush you fucking idiot.

You!

Do you think we can appease Satan with a virgin sacrifice? The coob probably qualifies.

BigJim;

Technically one must have genitalia to qualify for virgin or non-virgin status.

@83 Thanks for the info you fat pussy!

#71- #72

Girl- girls... now is that anyway to talk... oshkoshb-goshdammgosh, last night just after being shank deep in pinky_nip's ass, you begged me to ram my python deep down your throat... which of course I did post haste!!!... you both cried out with so much joy at that moment... and now this kind of talk coming from you both... I most tell you it hurts... PLEASE lets be friends again... and tonight I'll bring you both beautiful flowers, and something extra special too... OXOXO...

87

Just trying to help out. Oh, you may want to pull your skirt down a little, your tampon string is showing.

@89 That's not a string. It's a gerbil's tail.

You guys... I'm kind of ashamed. This isn't me and I don't usually act like this with no class. I'll try to watch the uneducated banter from now on. Again, I'm sorry.

Tranny...why you so cranky, baby? Didn't you get the message that I had restraining order lifted?

88 - be sure to bring some ointment for that throbbing case of idiot you have there - post haste!! You couldn't get two sluts to uncross their legs if you were made out of Louis Vuitton handbags and cocaine. If you want me to send you a poster, just ask.

#74

Nope, no Chinese mental patients hair... Dr. ... serious, you consistently write some of the funniest shit on the SF... thanks for the many laughs... "Pythons coughing up baby batter sounds like something out of the Book of Revelations." I almost pissed my pants on that one... well, I guess you did have a little on that one... very very funny though...

oshkoshb-goshdammgosh... you need to take the same road I am in #91

You all are sick twisted unhuman people.

Hmm...PapaHotNuts posts and then papahotnuts posts. We have yet another poseur. WTF.

@95: You are a poser.

Osh, You wonderfully delicious slut. I could crawl into your cunt and nest there. (even without the cocaine)

The Real Papa;

Hey, man, since something just started impersonating you, I'm done. I will not feed it. More fun later

Zanna!!

I'm stoked about the restraining order being removed. I'm still going to be a bit cranky until our duct-tape-pubic-pillow-shower has been consumated. Consume and mate, that about describes it!

#98... honestly, answer my questions....

1.) Do you think that is an acceptable way to speak?

2.) Do you speak that way every day (off the internet)?

---Answer them in
1.)
2.)
form.

I like the pictures. They do it for me. I am a sick man.
http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/

Hey everyone! I'm back from vacation!

Waht is Jessica doing? She needs to clean up from the break up and get back together. It's getting kind of weird.

Fake papa reminds me of NewGuy. Fake posts, fake weave, fake nails, fake orgasms. All fake.

#90 and #91: Are there two different Papahotnuts on this site?

I can't wait for my new pillow. It's going to be like the old days again with your pubic hair in my ear. Ohhh, good times..good times.

pappysmith123@yahoo.com ... you can look up anyone's e-mail address connecting to an account on typekey!!! That's papahotnuts.

@104- there is only one PapaHotNuts. The other one is an imposter. Just like @102 is a Feed Me imposter. What a fucking COOB.

She looks old for her age. Not Lindsay Lohan used up can I borrow a cigarette to burn off my scabs old, but sort of Hot Vegas Cocktail waitress older than her years kinda old.

I guess getting raped by your dad for half your life will do that to you.

98 - Well, I hope you're really small because my shit is tight like Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza. Tight like Cagney and Lacey. Tight like... oh, who am I kidding?

107... wow, you've got class class class!

What is a poser? Someone who rpetends to be someone they're not... right?

Who am I pretending to be? You need to chose your words more carefully. And try not the make them swear words... you low class freak, you.

Fake Feed_Me forgot_the_underscore
and your spelling and observances suck.
Just call me Mrs. CSI.

I love to win... like putting trash in their place and pointing out inconsistencies! It's fun to be better than 90% of the people on this site!!!

In case you didn't know... the first Feed Me changed screen names because the underscore was too much to type. Educate yourself on these posts before you banter, you idiot.

Just call me Mrs. Tingle... because I could teach you ALOT

oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

166. Posted by Feed Me Chocolate on June 3, 2006 04:07 PM

No, sorry to bust your bubble, Whipper, I didn't get banned. I can't imagine why I'd get banned in the first place. I'm just tired of having to underscore between my name.

And P.S.,

I know you're permanently emotionally scarred from your mom always telling you you were a "mistake", and so you've grown up with the idea that no parent plans when they want to have kids. So *pop*, sorry to bust your bubble, but YOU'RE the mistake around here, YOUR mom should've thought twice about being the town bicycle--you know, everyone's had a ride.

Hi Ari!

(FROM THE MATTHEY MCCONHEY BOARD--- CHECK IT YOURSELF RETARD)

just call me Einstein... because I can read... and apparently, you can't.

114 if you insist on caps locking a lot, learn how to spell it you fucking idiot.

It's hard trying to deal with children... no, children can be intelligent... it's hard dealing with idiots!

117 --- I misspelled a name, that can be spelled any way you want. It's a name no a word, it has no correct nor an incorrect spelling. Retard. Don't correct me if you can't take being wrong.

All you tricks need to stop hating. I've seen some of your websites and myspace accounts and most of you couldn't be a pimple on the ass of Jessica Simpson.

If you're wondering, yes I AM talking to you.

You go on sticking those boobies out all you want, Jess. ME LIKEYYYYYYYYYYY

@115

Posted by Feed_Me_Chocolate on June 4, 2006 09:42 AM

Tarjamarja (my favorite Finnish chick), ptprez, Sir Psycho Sexy, huhwah, M@ce, et al, I am changing my name since a certain person who shall remain nameless is using mine. If you care to know what it is, you can message me on my myspace page, (if you happen to have an account) the link for which you can find in one of my posts in the infamous Jake Gyllenhaal/ Natalie Portman thread. I won't say it here because that would defeat the purpose of getting him off my ass. And to answer tarjamarja's question, it is in fact very easy to switch your screen name, all is evidenced by him posting as 3 people. So this is Feed_Me, signing out.

__________________________

Get your facts straight, faker.

#93

Look osh, I'll bring you Louis Vuitton handbags & cocaine & diamond & gold & and new Mercedes... whatever you want!... just lets stop the meanness & cruelty... Daddy need a little kindness & affection from his baby...

PS... the "bring some ointment for that throbbing case of idiot" was really quite funny... OXOXO

Fake Feed Me is obviously lamebananas. How do I know? It's never been able to spell worth a shit.

@99 Your right. I only wish I could meet the fake papahotnuts. I would introduce it to reality in the form of a demonstrative ass-whippin'. Let me assure the SF posters one thing- I'm not sure of the exact time frame, but it's getting close. My website is currently being built, and I will not be using this TypeKey shit. It will be similar to this site in the sense there will be Entertainment topics and the ability to post back and forth as we do here. But it will also feature World News, Weather, Sports, Health, Business, etc. It will be like a CNN, only with foul fucking language and the humor from people like you. (Most of you, that is) I can't wait to read BigJim's thoughts on immigrants and Pinky's thoughts on low-carb diets, for example. We will have a great time, weekly fucking prizes, all kinds of cool shit.
I also will have control of banning anyone I choose, so no more lamebananawhipperArielsherry-co or anyone pretending to be anyone else.

http://www.papahotnuts.com

I think I see nip in the third picture in the top row....

am I wrong?

I'm so very fucking confused.

@124: God Bless You Papa! Bringing REAL entertainment to the masses. I will nominate you for a Nobel Piece Prize. (and yes, I intentionally spelled piece wrong!)

She has this weird neck thing, like it disappears and goes all Exorcist on you sometimes...she probably thinks her best and only asset is her chest, therefore she must sacrifice the rest of her body for it, even if she looks like a retarded Barbie doll...

The COOB must die!

I miss Ashlee. I want to train her. Then she won't be stuck being a fake poser like her sister.

Ashlee, did I tell you to talk? Put it back in your mouth. And don't use your hands.

I'm down papa - cover page looks sharp.

119 the word "a lot" is not a name. what the fuck are you talking about!! i hate people who write ALOT. like you.

She looks HOT in these pics.

@124 - I can't wait!

The badonkadonk is missing!!

#124, Papa,

I might not be able to see your website. I'm crossing over into Mexico then demanding that they all learn English and give me free medical care....

She was so much cuter 3 years ago.

@124

Your site sounds like a good spot to riff on all the news that's fit to print. I don't post a lot on this site (and am now glad that I don't because of the posers) but always get a kick out of your particular brand of humor (and pinky_nip, the Good Doctor, Big Jim and Italian Stallion). Keep up the good fight and good luck with the new site.

I would definitely hit it

All of a sudden I'm craving a chicago style sausage? hmmmm?

@135 Don't be a stranger on the new site.

@137 I live in Louisiana, so I have to do the same thing to the state of Mississippi.

Chicago style is the only way to go!

Papa, at least you are in Louisianna and not Mississippi. . .

Papa, are U in Nagin's Chocolate City?

@142: It's my kind of town. (actually I do absolutely love your town.. except for the Oprah-part)

#94 Thanks.

#124 Papa: Sounds cool. It'd certainly be a welcome replacement for when it turns into Awesome Time at the Superficial. I write political satire for a few different publications. Lemme know if you ever want free copy. I'll do it for food stamps, too.

dr.rokter@yahoo.com

@143 No, thank god. I'm in the capital, Baton Rouge. New Orleans was a great place to get drunk, get laid, then get arrested. Other than that, it was a shithole. I still go every now and then, but the smell of corpses and mold can fuck up a cocktail.

Dr. Rokter, I have to one-up you. I actually write for our legislative branch of the world famous Louisiana Government. So essentially, I write political satire also. Senators and representatives actually arm themselves in DC with shit I have written for them. No wonder this state is going to hell.

@144 Not a big Oprah fan either (is it me or is she slowly taking over the world?), but you have to take the good with the bad sometimes. At least I have my Chicago Cubs to cheer me up. . .

I think she may be wearing a waist cincher, and it's keeeping her torso stuck in an upright position. She must be stressed out over Nick and hittin' the Cheetos with a Britney-like ferver...so now she's got some gut to cinch away!

(also...totally a nip slip!)

#147 Hee, hee. That's fucking classic.

Papa, let me know if you need any free legal advice (well as much as I know anyway). Yes, a Chicago attorney (here comes the lawyer jokes).

#135 Well played!

PapaNutThack, I can't wait for your new site. You are a funny mofo.

I would also like to say there are lots of us readers who don't comment very often, but we all recognize that sack of shit coob when we see it. So you're not fooling anyone when you pretend to be other people. Your horrible grammar, punctuation and spelling--not to mention the sheer boredom you inflict--are dead giveaways. I found a site that I'd like to you take a look at, please and thank you. http://www.satanservice.org/coe/suicide/guide/

While I think Jessica is a dumb as a rock, I have to admit I'd trade places w/her looks-wise in a heartbeat.

In case anyone was wondering, I write political pornography for real estate agents and fecalphiliacs. Yeah, I'm cool like you guys.

Well I'm a fucking astronaut. Anyone want to go to the moon!

Sorry osh, wasn't trying to blow my own horn. . .

so we have lawyers, astronauts, writers, and strippers. what a motley assortment of characters

I'm glad to see the term "coob" is catching on.

Me, I've got an MBA and I'm married to a doctor. So, yes, I'm rich.

Jess does look like a Barbie doll. A life-sized, Barbie blow-up doll. Now all those pics of her with her mouth wide open make perfect sense.

Anyway, how fucking sweet! PapaHotNuts, I am anxiously awaiting your new site!

#151 - "As much as you know?" My dad's an attorney and he don't know nuthin' for free. He knows it all for hundreds of dollars an hour. If you don't know it all, are you the guy who gradutated last in his class? There HAS to be one.

Papa...how long till your website is up and running? you are quite the funny bastard, i look forward to checking it out.

Me, I'm a quant in a Wall Street firm with an MIT PhD....I am looking at my boss right now and I think he will make the perfect Shark sandwich

Yep, last in my class! Instead of studying them law books, I was at the bar doing shots of Jameson. But since I managed to pass the bar exam, I get to charge the same ridiculous legal fees as the obsessive-compulsive wired-too-tight kiss ass that graduated first. Mimimum effort = maximum gain.

Well here's my smug, self-important story: I dropped out of college, married a loser, and now have to work three jobs for near-minimum wage across the country from where I grew up and any friends I've ever had, but thank god I never got knocked up. I also have a PhD in Sexology and a MBA in Awesomability. Well, that's my story, so now you know. I'm sure your sense of relief will be followed shortly by a sense of desire and imminent horniness. Thus, the power of higher learning as mentioned above.

I failed horseback riding in college and got a D in yoga. That's what happens when you skip class everyday to take bong hits. The nickname for my school was "The College of Knowledge".

I answer phones all day. That's all I got.

(Smirk) Does Working on a legislative staff in the U.S. Senate Count? LOL

165 - You went to ITT Tech, too?

167 - Count for what? Misplaced arrogance?

Osh/Queen Bitch of Awesomability: I want to see a picture of you. I'm picturing pre-op Kathy Griffin. Is that mean? Just because you're both funny. I want to post pictures of you on my cube walls, and on my sun visor in my car, and on my ceiling, right above my bed.

I crunch numbers all day. It's hard physically labor.

Oh and then I get drunk at night and write dirty poems to my neighbors.

167 - Spindoc...

Do you know a DC lobbyist by the name of Jeff Kimball?

Why Zanna... did he run out on his bill last night?

Love you, you horny slut.

@171 You're a poet and I didn't know it?

Old ladies and cripples pay me for sex. I eat everything but the wheel-chair.

170 - I should beat you with a rubber hose. Not only are you wrong as in incorrect, but you are wrong on so many other levels I cannot even begin to count. That's like comparing a beautiful sunset on the beach to watching someone press the maggots out of a dead dog with their bare feet (incidentally, that's how Boone's wine coolers are made, in South France).

@171, U are describing my life....number crunching sucks cottonballs....no wonder I spend so much time on this site....

I'm a sales rep. I live in DC and sell educational media products to schools in Ohio. Yippee!

Pinky, you know what you do to me when you talk like that. Don't stop.

No, he didn't run out on a bill....just want to see if the world is as small as I think it might be. In which case, that'd be scary.

Oh and I also moonlight at a strip club. My job is handing cash to strippers, so they let me dry my eyes with their G-strings when I am done crying about my other job.

@170 are you trying to say that Osh was born in 1961? That will make her a perfect MILF

Tranny - if you are giving old ladies and cripples pubic pillows too I'm going to be BULLSHIT!!!!

@180 - stop telling everyone what we do at night, baby...it's OUR business. And give me that pink g-string back. I need it for tomorrow.

Ugh.

December 9, 1980. That's my birthday. I accept cash gifts.

Zanna are you guys hiring?

Zanna;

Hadn't we talked about this before? You know I only make pubic pillows for you, babe! And I swear I'm still visiting the nursing home, so I can make us enough cash to buy a Pinto, two 40's of Old English, and a trip to Talledaga. *sniffs* Got a G-string Handy?

183

I prefer the black one any way. My balls hang out the sides of the pink undies

185- yea, we're always hiring!

You know what i love about you Tranny..you take such good care of me. I can't wait for the day I kick back on my pubic pillow with my 40 of Old English and we talk about what we're gonna do once we get to Talledaga.

yea, yea, you like the black one better but I didn't see you complaining last night. Besides, they looked cute.

188- Someone fetch me a ticket to New England, I'm outta this shithole! Crawlin for dollars, here I come! Again!
Dammit.

Ohhh Tranny...look what I found:

http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/talladeganights/

We can go to the drive-in in our Pinto and get our 40's. Doesn't it feel good to have goals together? It does. I know.

C'mon over Osh! We can be tag-team lapdancers together!

It seems Jessica has been wearing too many high heels. She is having a major case of lordosis.

http://adam.about.com/encyclopedia/9583.htm

I'm on my way! I'll just make me a sign that says Foxy Lady and stand out on the road with my thumb out and all my T-bars and pasties bundled up in a handkerchief on a stick, my head in the clouds and my eyes full of stars...

Zanna;

The reasons I love you are to numerous to count! ah, relaxing on the hood of the Pinto with the peculiar buzz that only Old E can give, watching Ferrell and racecars. I'm glad you like the way my nuts look, drifting out of the panties, I feel the same way when you dance upside down on the pole.

Osh, youll get a ride a lot faster if you show some t-bar, and wear the pasties.

You people are really sorry! (he says with a laughing banter of sympathy, but at the same time, mockery)

WOAH YOU GUYS... Do you realize the date today????

http://images.fandango.com//images/posters/large/omen_lg.jpg

Is Jessica Simpson's hand ALWAYS on her waist? It's annoying! In EVERY picture! Okay... WE GET IT... YOU THINK YOU'RE PRETTY! We dont! I'm really sick of her. Didn't pop go out a long time ago? What exactly does she do?

What can you say, she's a natural transvestite. Look at picture -05... Those legs... Reminds me of a sick party with trans-people.
"I wanna puke you up and down...
'Till you say Stop".

195 - I was going to wear the sign, duh. But either way, as long as I'm waving my big ass pussy all over the place it's all good. :)

Posture? We're making fun of POSTURE ON A SMOKING HOT CHICK, now? Looking the way she does in those pics ... she can fold herself into origama for all I care. She's got huge knockers, a hot face, great muscle tone and kicking curves.

What the hell's wrong with Superficial's editors? They wouldn't hit that?

Shee-it.

_Richard

And her feet are weird.

Osh

wow, if you can wave your pussy, regardless of size, you will go very far in your new profession. Consider teaching it to juggle or do the ping-pong ball trick and you've got a gold mine.

Anyone who thinks she is not hot is out their damn mind. the headline should read "has the best boobs ever" how can you not like this girl?

Think of it less as a new career and more like moving back in with an old college buddy. Besides, you can't show me a thing I haven't already done with a bottle of Cristal and a matchbook. My pussy is the McGuyver of genitals.

enords is really Joe Simpson. Pass it on.

Weird, weird people. Hey... guess I chased Feed Me Chocolate off... huh? Am I right... just couldn't take my superiority!!! (Well, pretty much anyone is compared to her!)

By the way, I'm not doing the fake names, I'm serious. Here's the story...

1.) I am not Iambananas
2.) I am personal (in real life) friends with Iambananas
3.) I didn't do the sloppy--copy-cats
4.) I don't dislike anyone here not that Feed Me Chocolate is gone!!

enords is really Joe Simpson? I KNEW IT!

205 osh;

Right on. If you don't groom for a few weeks, with a bit of white makeup, I bet your cooch can do a mean Gene Simmons impersonation.

Zanna;

I just had a great idea. We could buy a corn-dog stand, and follow the NASCAR circuit in our pinto. nascar and corn-dogs by day, Old English by night....ah, we could live the dream.

TrannyGranny...

Waht does that have to do with Jessica Simpson?

Dudes... it's almost 6:00 on 6/6/06! I'm going to post then!

@121

Zanna is the new Feed Me. I knew Id find out

But then again, who cares?

Zanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed MeZanna is the new Feed Me

OMG!!! The first fake-titted blonde in the history of humankind! Unless they're in Outer Mongolia, most people can't swing a dead cat without hitting a chick that looks something like JS. Safe, boring, vanilla. And I know it's "politically incorrect", but I don't think mentally-retarded people are sexy. I'm sorry, I've got nothing against them (re-res), it'd just feel weird.

And by the way: if you *are* in Outer Mongolia, don't swing dead cats around. At anyone. I heard it's illegal there, and they mulch up offenders for Yak fodder.

What is (re-res)?

I'd hit it buuuuuuuuuuuut,

I find her comatose, empty, stare disturbing I'd feel like I was screwing with a mentally challenged person, NOT COOL.

So, I would hit her decapitated body 'til the cows come home.....or put a bag over her head , IF a bag was, you know, lying around or something.

Dr.Rokter

Interestingly, I never spent 5 years in Mongolia when I wasn't in the Peace Corp. One of the things I didn't pick up while not learning the language was the term "dedpkhatt" actually means "the left rear knee cap of a Bactrian Camel". I didn't find out that there isn't a name for the other 4 knee caps located on said camel. The non-existant team leader did not explain to me this was the "holy knee-cap" of an endangered camel. This probably wouldn't explain the yak-fodder penalty.

TrannyGranny

seriously?

#216 ree-rees? Ree rees? A term for mentally-challenged individuals, first applied to *me* when I was in the third grade. I'm going to stop using any insult that isn't in the King James version of the Bible.

Have you ever left your cell phone by the computer and weird noises come out of the speaker?

218-

OK, that made me laugh almost as much as yesterday's bullshit...

Dr.Rokter...

Aww, I'm sorry! I'm sure it wern't true about you... you're not a ree-ree. Neither now nor in the third grade.

seriously...

Have you ever left your cell phone by the computer and weird noises come out of the speaker? Like a "tick tick tick --- tick tick tick" But lower?

Sometimes it happens right before it rings.

#218 Everyone knows the Peace Corps is a front for a Marxist drug empire run by Ted Kennedy, bent on importing addictive marijuana cigarettes laced with homosexual mind-control chemicals in them to our white, suburban junior high schools.

I didn't know Bactrian camels were endangered. Sad. I like their gumption.

fucking sweet its 420 on 666 Smokem if ya gottem kids!!!!!

Ted Kennedy isn't a Marxist. He's a Democrat.

But, you know... po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

218

Shweet! Now I can say "holy kneecap" and not get slapped in the face by my mom!

It's not 4:20... it's 6:23... idiot. What does 4:20 have to do with anything anyway?

#230... she'll still slap you. But for other reasons.

Missed it by a minute (MST)

Dr.Rokter

Are you saying that Ted Kennedy prefers stoned homosexual junior high boys? Cause I am all about educating the masses with that tidbit.

Bactians really are endangered. I like that they have twice as much hump.

Special shout out to Tranny/Osh/Papa/Dr.Rokter and everyone else who chose to ignore the annoying comments from the more than one "you know who's." I don't post a lot but enjoy reading humorous banter that regularly appears on these posts. It's get's me thru my day. So thanks for not making your comments about the people who are overtaking this site and should just find a chat room for their useless bullshit. But I get it, we ignore them. Sorry for bringing it up but I just really wanted to send a BIG, HEARTFELT, THANK YOU!!!! Much love!!!

Ted Kennedy isn't a Marxist. He's a Democrat. But, you know... po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

234... I know you're taking about me, so doesnt that defeat your purpose? Idiot. I still win.

Its only 3:30 on my side of the country.... I still have an hour left of work!!

And willow, that used to happen in my last car, if I put my cell phone near my cd player. The speakers would go all funny when my phone was about to ring.

I should say continent, becuase i dont even live in the US

Yeah... what is that? Is it like the raido waves? I'm glad it happens to someone else, too.. waterranger

Its probably those same air waves that are going to give us all brain tumors from talking on cells!

Meh, that's a rumor! I don't think it's harmful... said my cousins extra mouth.

its probably the same air waves that are going to give us all brain tumors from talking on our cells!

oops

Meh, that's a rumor! I don't think it's harmful... said my cousins extra mouth.

#233 Yes. Because he lives on a "compound", which means he's a freak. And he's Catholic, which means he's an agent of the Pope (Satan) and his sinister plot to fool Americans into denying the Risen Christ and family values. I read it in "Alien-abducted Minuteman Weekly".

So Tranny, have you ever eaten camel? I hear those Bactians are pretty tasty, that's why they're calling them endangered, to keep them all to themselves. Those damn sneaky Mongoloids.

Hmm, I wonder if that Dehli sands fly is tasty. Must taste test.

#234 You're welcome. It's because Jessican Simpson retards my fight-or-flight instinct and lulls me into a state of semi-consciousness. Either that, or because I get to go drink heavily now and resolve my anger at bitter, bitter life that way. Adieu.

I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world

*a la Johnny Dangerously*

I'm bored with slappin' Jessica around. Bores me.

If she were actively seeking her own professional annihilation (see Spears, Britney; Lohan, Lindsay; Hilton, Paris [well, maybe not, as she doesn't actually DO anything but self-destruct]; Richards, Denise, etc.) it would be easier to beat on her, but she's just dumb and along for the ride. *sigh* I didn't mind her when she was just a small name singer on the fringe of fame. She should have stayed there.

Her hair looks very, very nice. Very ladylike and elegant. Brown-eyed blondes are always so pretty.

But that dress is really slutty and the shoes don't "go".

Tranny: gee, what are the odds that a Grizzly Adams-type guy from Colorado would be atuned to the occurrence of 4:20?

1 in 1, or better? :)

# 246 - I HAVE eaten camel. I had it at an international food fair in guangzhou, china. They bbq 10 pieces of it for, like 2 yuans. It was so spicy and good. yummm

I know that Tranny at least has eaten camel TOE.

253
Wow, you're brave. I'm not very adventurous in eating out-of-the-ordinary meat. Plus, we don't have too many international food faires where I live.

I draw the line at tripas.

oh the camel was nothing, 2 of my friends ate SCORPIAN!!! I have the pictures.

in the top row.. second pic from the left..

look at her knees.. one is higher than the other

wtf is that about?

There's no excuse to eat scorpion unless you're a circus performer. And in that case, dance, freakshow, dance!