Jun 14 2006Jared Leto and Jessica Simpson get it on

Please let this be a joke. I would never be able to get past his chin. And gray hair. And the 30-or-so-year difference.

P.S. Do you really think Jessica needs a Red Bull? Heaven help us. She probably thinks it's bull juice.

Which is why she picked it up.

I am so sick of her! She is overexposed and over played. She use to be dumb and funny, now she's just dumb. And she's like a painting. First time you see it you think it's pretty, then the more you see it the sicker of it you get and the more it looks like every other one.

I thought Jared Leto was gay? Or at least, fat and creepy?? I know Jessica hasnt been looking her best lately, but thats sinking pretty far.....

red bull: ew.

and her nails are ugly.

I don't even know who Jared Leto is! Isn't he the judge in the O.J. Simpson murder trial?

And her arm looks weird in that picture.

Hey nails look good.

#7 they're short and red! not classy.....

1 & 4
WHATTTT!?

http://www.translucence.org/archives/jaredleto.jpg

he's the hottest thing EVER.

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo get it on
...
Jared Leto and Jessica Simpson get it on

...

#8 Short and red are romantic and pretty. It's a natural look.

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9
It was a joke. Jay Leno. Jared Leto. Sorry, a-lo, didn't mean to freak you out. =)

to

I'm guessing that that would be the fake Ari. Just a guess.

But wasn't he in Panic Room? And he looked gross in the corn rows.

#1,

Jared Leto, not Jay Leno. Dumbass.

And by saying their vaginas are stuffed with so much matter, I think he means loads and loads of rancid spooge.

The kind that spawned the coob.

She's not attractive. She looks like Bugs Bunny in those cartoons when he dresses in drag to try and fool Yosemite Sam or the Hillbillies. She and Bugs share the same taste in lipstick and nail polish. It looks much better on Bugs, though. As for Jared Leto, 30 Seconds to Mars sucks so therefore his taste in music and women are equally deplorable. Oh my ears and eyes!

17
Please look at #13 before you start calling me a dumbass.
Thank you.

No more Lohan? And really, I thought Leto was smarter than this. Oops, my mistake.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

my nails sure arent naturally red.

and short, yes, but not so short that the end of your thumb sticks out from underneath the nail!

Looks like Jess lost that Proactiv gig.
Pizza face!!!

#9--
THANK YOU! I'd hit that...

What is it with J-Simp and huge-ass sunglasses? Are they supposed to make her look taller? Or maybe they just make her nose look smaller.

#25 - nope, not accomplishing either of those tasks. She looks like she has Ashlee's old nose grafted onto her face.

#9 Thanks for showing the pic! he is soooo YUMMY!!
Gay - err maybe - HOT - oh YES!

Is it possible for her NOT to look retarded? just wondering..Way to bang a retard Leto you talentless fuck.

Jess, Nick-less, is a mess --

...thanks babe :)

you guys are so fucking
predictable...

...superficial
...no just a bunch
...of lame brained cunts

[are we nearly there yet?]

soon hunny

...read this
...they remembered :)

The new material has been baptised amorphous carbonia, or a-CO2.

At present, a-CO2 is a curiosity because it cannot be tested or used outside the pressure chamber. The CO2 that in these extraordinary conditions takes up a chaotic "amorphous" structure, becoming glass, reverts to orderly molecules of CO2 under decompression.

The first challenge will be to develop a form of a-CO2 that can survive in room temperatures.

...ok
...so what
...would our
...purpose be in life?

[fuck didn't he explain?]

sorry distracted :)
so... africa and other places
humans dying every second
you could stop it

Excuse me but, who the hell is Jared Leto?

The only thing that's really predictable about YOU, herbiefrog, is that your posts make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

31-
Jared Leto is an actor and I'd like to say an excellent lay, but I don't know that. I would, however, be willing to investigate further... in the interest of science...

i feel kind of old for knowing who jared leto is. and by old i mean almost 21. leto is the actor who played jordan catalano on the ABC series "my so-called life."

BigJim are you out there???

Check your email, you hot pussy-pleaser.

When I see 'herbiefrog' and the attendent white space, I just scroll on down. I figure he needs an outlet where he THINKS people listen to him.

Jared Leto is so hot, it's ridiculous. I mean, even if you're not gay ( and I am ), you can see it. Right?

#24. Me too, sista!

31 B-Slim

For shame! Jared Leno is a world renowned...a Hero because of...He acted/played bass for....When the going got tough, he....

Ok, all I really know is this. I live by a shitty little town where gambling is legal. If you are playing the penny slots, and hit the jackpot, Jared Leno is what rolls out instead of 76 pennies. Man, you haven't lived till you see a blue-hair hit a casino manager in the face with her granny-bag, screaming "You cheap fuck! How the Dickens can I buy my Purina canned dinner with this? I'll cut you...."

Her boobs look a lot smaller in this pic. Did anyone else notice?

Just another tuna.

Oh, upon reflection fish dude, what, precisely, is your definition of "mini"?

Oh man, Angela Chase is gonna be pissed.....

Jordan's not supposed to be all up on the sleazy braindead blondes.

And by "item" they mean having wild animal sex.

It'd be hard to kiss her with that huge schnozz.

Just sayin.

Ahhh....Jessica and Jared.

It's like the dumb cheerleader with pigtails falling for the retarded loner who drools over himself and pisses his pants.

jane's eyre just likes to argue with anyone... that's what I'm getting. I'm sure she'll post to this saying something argumentative. That's just her gimmick. Try to start something with anyone who says anything.

jane's eyre just likes to argue with anyone... that's what I'm getting. I'm sure she'll post to this saying something argumentative. That's just her gimmick. Try to start something with anyone who says anything.

THANK YOU!!!

Good Morning America mixed Mentos and Diet Coke... pretty funny video. It 'sploded.

javascript:void(window.open('http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/news?ch=61492&cl=514586&lang=en','playerWindow','width=793,height=608,scrollbars=no'));

Oops, disregard the previous link... it doesn't work.

Bananas,
You are the only person on the entire planet that Jesus does not love. I know because he told me right before he stole my hubcaps. Damn Mexicans.

#46, 47. I just like to argue with imaginary versions of myself, ... my Iambananas self, my Whipper_willow self, my fake Ari self, my fake jane's eyre self, my gnat-sized cock, ... no wait, that one's real!

48. 'sploded, just like Whipper's cock in my ass ... Good times.

I used to like bananas...you know in my cereal. Now I just want to go buy bananas just to cut them up and SMASH (sorry M@ce)them.

On Jessica...I mean on those earrings...I think they are fucking up her ears and I strongly suggest that she give them to me.

Like I said earlier, pretending to be lame bananas is pretty gay.

I liked it when Jared Leto got chopped to bits in American Psycho...

Hey look - it's two celebs (well, in Leto's case, "celeb" in the broadest possible meaning of the word) with no career between them.

It has been amusing watching Jessica change from little prim Miss Contemporary Christian into a dishrag.

I'm kind of surprised she isn't wearing those big "ankle holster" hoop earrings. It fits her new persona better.

58 I have a pair of those ankle holster hoops (shut it- haven't worn them in years). Do you think she'll trade with me?

First, Claire Danes, then Lindsay Blow hand, Paris Hilton, at last Jessica Simpson. At least he is doing the in a heirarchal manner. First the most talented to the least abled-,inded in Hollywood.

Cruising: Trade? Hell, if you come up with a remotely good story about how rare and valuable yours are, she'll probably give you hers and throw in a few mill in cash.

Then again, conning Jessica Simpson has to be about as satisfying as beating a two-year old at chess. Or arm-wrestling.

They are never going to learn if we let them win. Fuck that. I have a dance I do when I beat my kid (and when I say beat I mean...I win, he loses).

Heck of a mental image the other way, though.

*pictures a mom dancing while smacking her kid around*

63 I miss your songs...do one for me!!!

I'll show you the dance if you do...

Jordan catalano!
Hott as fuckkk obviously blind though. Also, has anyone seen how he gained like fifty pounds to play Mark David Chapman..?! It's scary. Anyway I actually like his acting(Requiem for a Dream, & Highway and I'm looking forward to Chapter 27 even though Hohan's in it) But he has upsettingly awful taste in girls, and why I'll never know, cause did I mention, hes HOTT AS FUCK

OK OK ....not so much a dance...more like a full-body thrust.

*trying to think of a song for J-Simp and Leto......

We hooked up in an L.A. bar
But no paparazzi knew our names.
One said "I hear K-fed is at Clear tonight,"
Then they all jumped up and ran away
We fired both of our pub-li-cists
And we dreamed of our missing fame
"Remember me, I was in 'Fight Club'"
"And I used to be Mrs. Lachey!"

Now tell me who are we?

Whoooooooo are we?
Who who? Who who?

Do you even effin' know?

Whoooooooo are we?
Who who? Who who?

Full body thrust, you say?? Hmmm....

I am gay, and so is Li'l Jimmy, my wife.
G'night Li'l Jimmy.

*flicks bananas in the larynx*

Muffle it, flake.

It's every man's fantasy to do a giant orange cheeto, a woman who sounds as if she's been huffing for 30 years, and a praying mantis (Jessica, Lindsay, and Paris respectively), didn't you know?

*kicks itches in the cunt*

Eat shit, puss.

#60 You missed a couple biggies on your list.

He dated Cameron Diaz for four years, and at one time they were perceived to be engaged.

He rebounded* with Scarlett Johannson. I used the asterisk because I would consider Scarlett to be a huge leap upward, but the Diaz relationship was long while the Johannson relationship was very short.

I didn't think the Claire Danes relationship was true. Wasn't he dating the other girl on My So-Called Life?

Has anyone heard from 30 Seconds to Mars recently?

I heard that he put something on her face...

Obviously it wasn't PROACTIVE!

Jeez...look at the mini Lachey's on her mug!

There is no way this rumor could be true. Jared Leto only dates under-aged girls!

Looks like she snapped some fingers polishing Jared's Leto' man.

Maybe Lambbanana's has a multiple personality disorder. I met this guy once that claimed he had 12 others talking to him in his head. he said "They are all pissed because only one of us gets a crazy check!"

The only thing ms.simpson has is the ability to never drown.

Jessica Simpson is a beautiful woman, and the comments about her nails show just how much jealous women will look for *anything* to criticize a beautiful woman for.

The only part of that article I didn't like was regarding NY men wanting Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton. They are jokes here. Paris Hilton has given her number to friends of mine and we all just laugh and throw it out. She is easy and will make-out with a guy she doesn't know while dancing with him, and she has no ass. No one here wants her, stop insulting us.

Aw, if only I was still ten years old and he was still in "My so called Life", i might give a crap about this story.
http://celebreligion.com

This story is actually a bit inaccurate. It shows her doing the walk of shame after visiting dad. I hear Red Bull washes that spunky taste out of your mouth. That's why Papa Simpson keep a few cases in that dingy locked room in the basement, the one with the flattened KY tubes on the floor and nailmarks on the wall. The one where Ashlee's old nose and dignity are hiding out...

new editor? things are funnier than last i was here!

I don't care how many faghags this pooftah has under his panties. Don't you people find it suspicious that this new "relationship" is revealed a week after he himself admitted to being: "gay as a goose," which he then retracted when all the sites reported it.

he's a phaegget.

#79 Paris Hilton gave me her phone number and I called her. I include the following transcript:

Paris Hilton: Hello?
Dr.Rokter: Hey sweet thing. You gave gave me your number last night.
PH: Huh?
DR: I was behind the counter at the Sbarro's. (laughing) Remember, "Employee of the Month" (continues laughing)
PH: I don't...
DR: You were *wasted*. I had to clean up the men's room by the way. (laughing) I've never seen somebody puke up a plastic cocktail sword before...
PH: Listen, I...
DR: So anyway, some friends of mine and I are going to do a Steven Seagal marathon tonight. You should come. Do you like martial arts? I just bought these sick nun chuks. They're like regular ones, but kind of like with a Sci-Fi theme instead of Asian. They're called "CyberDemon 3000". They light up green when you press a button on the handle.You dig?
PH: Who are you again?
DR: Hopefully the guy who's gonna high five you tonight with my friend, Leonard. We might do I one-shot role-playing game first. I can probably fit you in, but we'd have to make you a tenth-level chracter. Leonard plays a Dark Elf necromancer. You could be a thief, 'cause we really need one. But it's up to you.
PH: I'm sorry, I don't...
DR: Don't worry. I bought a pack of Magnums, if you get me. So you down? Leonard has a car, he can pick you up.
PH: Who the fuck is this?! Aman? This isn't funny, I'm waaay hung-over and...
DR: No baby, it's me. Do you still agree with me that Luke Skywalker's character was really an allegory for George Lucas' repressed homosexuality, and the Jedi use of the Force represents gays' singular social conventions in a conservative world unwilling to accept their lifestyle? 'Cause I thought that was an *awesome* theory. Those chicks you were with looked scared. Hello?

(phone click)

Paris Hilton is one stuck up cunt.

Ooops. Wrong thread. I need to stop huffing bubble gum remover this early in the morning.

Try to imagine these two having a conversation. No, seriously - just imagine it. Lots of staring into space, no? Trust me, once the lust wears off, attempting to maintain a dialogue will be the deal-breaker for them.

@85 That's ok, it was some funny shit.

#87 Thanks. Actually, it *was* the correct thread, as I was responding to another post. So double jackass on me. Awesome!

I wish more women were like Jessica Simpson. Smart, pretty, clever, blonde, tan, and tied up in my basement with six black penises penetrating three orifices. Or is it orifii?

I think they call that a "double jackass".

"Doctor, doctor, give us some news, you got a, bad case of sniffing glue".............

Love the sugar free Red Bull in her hand but she should really drink something that tastes better.

@89...I would go with orifii, just on general principle.

Why settle for orifice when you can have orifii? That's what Zach Braff was thinking....

By the way, I was recently spotted at Dorsia's with Lionel Ritchie who was cozying up to me over blueberry martinis despite that a very jealous Catherine Manheim kept sending us Redheaded Sluts (and not the "Parent Trap" kind!) but the next weekend I was seen at Espace talking to the ghost of Biggie while sipping on Corn Syrup mixed with LSD and getting a little too close for comfort with a slightly distraught Carnie Wilson, who had arrived with Gary Busey but ended up in a drunken three-way on the dance floor with myself and President Bush, who was drinking Kool-Aid out of a dirty jockstrap. I'm such a whore!!!

93
That's what my friends and I call a "slow Tuesday"

94 - I was having a B-list weekend. I make no apologies.

80 I'm totally with you on this one.

I used to think he was hot, now he's just creepy..and I don't know why.

PS I wonder if Jessica is pissed that she's still stuck with that big nose that her sister got rid of.

Has anyone heard anything about Jess and Nick? I've heard rumors of them secretly meeting, etc. Also, remember how she used to wear her wedding ring around her neck? What happened to that?

http://blondeexcuse.pixxiestails.com

Jared Leto is such a whore!

That's a really good shot of where her real hair ends and her extensions begin.

#20:

If you'd paid attention to the times on our posts, you'd see the #13 posted at almost the same time as I did. Ergo his post was not up when I posted.

And I don't know if I buy it that you were "joking" about Jay Leno.

Can Jessica not wear a t-shirt? Why is everyone saying that she looks a mess? Ive seen her in other pictures and she looks fine. Jeez, can she live?

Who cares?

101

I don't care if you don't "buy it", who the fuck cares what you think? And sorry I wasn't scrutinizing the time. Dumbass.

Partying on all night???

Hey isn't she a "Christian...and her skanky dad a Youth Pastor???

I am sooooooooooo jaded

These botts are made for walking... and Bukkake.