Jun 8 2006James Blunt has magic powers

First bitches?

hey a new post so late in the day? sweet now i have something to do tonight! hey osh where are you?

Hmm...note to Blunt (I barely know who either of them are)--tan more often. Your girlfriend is making you look like a marshmallow.

Memo to Mr. Blunt: It's generally a bad move to get a girlfriend who could kick your ass. It's a very bad move to get with a girl who could kick your ass using just her boobs.

Good luck anyway. Dont forget to use sunscreen.

Ha, look at her in the last picture:

"Is this your rainbow towel?"

Where are the Hard Nipples? Aargh!

Apparently she was more impaired in the Tsunami than anyone could have guessed.

Didn't realize James Blunt was a Hobbit.

i remember the old days where superficial post comments did not exceed much more than 50. scrolling through the comments is now a marathon session, but i still can't help myself.

comment on biyutches.

Fortunately for guys like James Blunt, women tend to be less superficial than men. Unless, of course, he has a lot of money, in which case no other explanation is needed.

Now I have no doubt that God must have died a long time ago, and the Devil is in charge. And I hate James Blunt.

And her body is ridiculously beautiful. I need to take up with the cocaine again.

ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He looks like that guy form THe Green Mile... you know... Wild Bill?

The guy that peed on Tom Hanks.

Well, I say, whatever floats your boat. Maybe he's extremely 'nice'. (Read: huge penis). And maybe he is just dressed up in a pasty fatsuit (read: huge penis)
But seriously... I thought Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morisette were a WEIRD couple. This has to top everything...well, maybe not TomKat, but still.... that girl needs some glasses... or some self esteem...

Ibiza??!! That's a joke, right? Haha! That's like the coney Island of the Med. That's klass with a K.

It's called being caucasian. People who are caucasian have lighter skin.

SBJAGOVWPAB!!

AYCUR... that's funny. If only you knew waht those letters stood for. Can anyone crack the code?

In the last pic, the old wonker's expression's kinda like "Are you seriously together?! Awh, kids these days".

17

He's saying to himself,
"put the towel down, put the towel down.."

Life sucks. Petra's one of those rare "supermodels" that actually live up to the hype, she doesn't look like a teenage boy in drag or use cocaine as a nasal decongestant. Blunt is in major denial about his homosexuality, and he has the beginnings of a comb-over going on. Normally I cheer when the little guy, average joe, common man, what-have-you does good - but Blunt?? He sings like his testicles are in a frozen vice and being nibbled by spiteful chipmunks. This is so wrong, so depressing, that I fear I shan't even masterbate today.

I hate how he looks right into the camera the whole time during his video- it totally gives me the damn creeps! She's probably all about the "eye contact". ughhh

He must have one hell of a massive *blunt* hiding in those pantaloons!

Well, wonders never cease.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

Good Christ, is she taller than him?

dickweed.

Hey OSHKOSH!!!
I posted this last night in the last TomKat thread and didnt want you to miss it.
---------------------------------------
190. Posted by GnoshKoshBiatch on June 8, 2006 07:38 PM

Let's all worship at the altar of OshBitch.
What a fabulous piece of work she is!

Probably the only thing slowing down the frequency of her posts is the time it takes to wipe her fingers on her sweatpants. The powder and crumbs from the dick-cheese doritos she constantly shovels down her gullet must really gum up her keyboard.

All she talks about is her mangy unused vag and rip on the myspace pages of women that are more attractive, popular, secure and without a doubt smell better than she does.

I bet Rosie O'Donell was like that before she came out!
-----------------------------------------
191. Posted by ptprez on June 8, 2006 07:43 PM

190
have the balls and wait until she's here...

is that what you do in school, wait until the guy who kicked your sorry ass is down the hall , then scream "i'm gonna get you!!!"..."creep!!!"
----------------------------------------
192. Posted by GnoshKoshBiatch on June 8, 2006 07:54 PM

191

Oh don't worry little one. I'm not afraid of her. I remember the bitches like that from high school. Their followers were basically afraid of them or too weak willed to disagree. What a bunch of clingons!

How can she not be here? The anonymity of the internet gives her life meaning!
----------------------------------------
I don't really have a lot of time for someone like you but didn't want you to miss me calling you a Bitch! Bitch!

Try eating some fruit or veggies, you might be less hostile or at least less constipated!

Blunt. James Blunt.

Want to go smoke a blunt?

#16:

"Can anyone crack the code?"

Can anyone tell me if someone has ever given a flying ratfuck about a single word you've uttered in your entire miserable, pathetic existence?

#16. "SBJAGOVWPAB!!
... crack the code?"

"Suck my Ballsack, Jackoff Assmunch, Get an Overdue Vasectomy Whipper, you Punk Ass Bitch!!"

Well, what do I win, Pussy Willow?

The last picture.
JB : "You don't believe that shit about that ring do you ? Like it couldn't really happen right ? Could it ?"
PN : (' God - I need another tsunami')

Petra Nemcova dates Hobbits, pale, anemic Hobbits with Shaggy hair.

The fact that Petra Nemcova and James Blunt could be photographed together is sufficient proof to refute the existence of a god.

I admit, I have no idea who James Blunt is, as I listen to way, way, way too much NPR, but Damn!!! Doesn't this violate some basic laws of nature?

25

hey fuckhead...you posted that at 7:38edt. today...unless you're posting from india, put the crack pipe down and shut the fuck up...

My God! How tiny is he? I guess his talent is large.

great...
he can eat her out while standing...

lucky fucker...

... or her mind is small.

i always take my grandparents to the beach...

@ bananas
I thought you disappeared after your myspace was revealed you fucking 14 year old cunt. Houston Texas was it? Everyone: banans lives in houston where she attneds middle school and hides out in the computer lab so the cool kids won't make fun of her.

what does the young lady seek under water ?

In all cases I find that it is ugly to have a relation with an ugly boy because it has money...

http://www.lezlife.com

#16

If you hate her so much and don't have time for people like her, why did you a) make your name an obvious reference to her, and b) even bother posting that once, let alone twice?

get a life loser.

30 sir psycho

Blunt is the man who taught all the niggas to put some weed into the Swisher Sweets they think are cigars. Makes them taste almost as good as my balls.

I recently read an article in "Perky Hedgehog Weekly" about Petra. It states that after the tsunami, and the subsequent death of her boyfriend, she had a broken pelvis and was emotionally destroyed. The article also mentioned how her healing was hampered by a man with the initials "TG", constantly banging her out of her misery. Rumor has it, kinda felt like fucking a Jello mold.

Who the hell is she? Honestly, i have no idea?

#31 It's June 9th where i am and its 1.30 pm!!

@38 - Yeah! WTF with all of these fucktards ragging on the regulars? Unless it's retribution from the bored blonde's posse for yesterday's thread...then indeed "GET A LIFE" What's said is said & it lives in the archives -- deal with it!
Then don't be a dumbass putting personal information out there if you can't take the comments.

If I was Petra, and _I_ was in a tsunami and hung on for dear life for HOURS....I'd still be ASSSSCAAYYYAAAAAAD of the water! You wouldn't see me on a windy day near a kiddie pool. Bitch had got NO heart.

Oh AND..that's not MY idea of smoking a Blunt.

Boodoom..Boom. I'll be here all week!

Too bad it doesn't work the same for both genders. You'll never see an unattractive girl (even if she is extremely successful) with a gorgeous boy. What the hell?!

43 lmnop

I doubt bored blondes pussy is going to retaliate. As much as I admire the tightness of the jeans, it would take an hour to pry that demim off, and by then her "retaliation" will be dripping down her leg.

Tranny - I too am blonde and I don't have time to be bored...life is too short.
I'd rather have a quick escape route - easy off!

39

i'm switching to black and milds...

...can't have a good old fashioned pissing contest when your retaliation is dripping down your leg now, can ya?!

IN THE LAST PIC SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE IS STANDING NEXT TO A HOBBIT

48 pt

Dude, have you tried Backwoods? The look like Lhaso Apso shit, but they are the best trash-cigar money can buy for under 2 bucks!

47 lmnop

Easy-Off Oven Cleaner? Yikes, you have the pussy of Steel! I would have tried some WD-40 first. lol

42 guessing africa...

@51 - nope!
Timex - takes a lickn' & keeps on tickin'...that's my story & I'm stickn' to it!

no where near

I fucking love that last pic.

Pasty guy: let's shoot some heroin and get off!

Smokin hot Babe: What are you talking about, I have a full length mirror at home, I can get off just by looking at my naked body.

Old Man: Can't Stop Spanking It!!!!!!

51

they look like they'd fall apart in my mouth...

funny, i WAS smoking a swisher...no blunt though...

try garia/vega crystal maduro...cheap but good...

You're right Tranny! His left hand is covering up the 'diddling' action of his right hand!!

53 you MILF you...

...that's what they call me...

..frisky college boys...I look at them and think "Hmmmmmm-wait 20 minutes and do it again!" Those were the days!!

may i call you "pea" fo short???

#51-All joking aside. Re: Backwoods Cigars.

I love them. For real. And this one guy I used to date, LOVED "Backwoods Sweet". And one night after work, I went to Walmart and bought him a whole case and a bottle of good whiskey as a gift.

We broke up.

He's still my friend. :)

i'm lucky to go 20 minutes...

no - you are 'p'

62

you must of really impressed him...

You need some of Zanna's whiskey for that dick!!!

Actually, Tranny..under 2? It's nearly 5.00 here...

how about minnow???

Jesus Zanna'

A bottle of whiskey and a case of Backwoods!? Why the fuck do you live on the Atlantic coast, and not in the Rockies?

I friggin love Backwoods!

@65

Nah, I don't think so...I just think I made him feel cared about.

I'm ascaaayad of the altitude...but I do have friends in Colorado. :)

Zanna;

Apiece, not for the 5-pack

Aw, we just posted at the same time! I feel so ..... feeling...feeeliing...yah!

i bought my wife a box of rat poison and a one way ticket to detroit...

we divorced...

i don't understand...

51: Why does it not surpise me that you'd know Backwoods? :)

Hand rolled between the thighs of Appalachia's finest dirt farmers! :)

i think blunty is hot!!

Iambananas SBJAGOVWPAB something about big jim?

@73 - That's like cumming together...only not really...and yet...kind of.

75 Yo Cube!

I lived on the Mex border for a long while...Backwoods were the rage amongst the border-rats. You can hide a lot of wanna-wanna in something that looks like dogshit

pt - funny shit!

FA- how come it doesn't surprise you? Am I giving off a "vibe"?

Why is everyone laughing?

um..okay..I'm sorry I replied to 75. It's like we're ONE now. I'm replying to HIS posts.

Baby..I'm gonna check myself right now.

love you,

/z

Tranny: One of these days I'm going to go up to one of the trendy cigar places in Beverly Hills, rent my own humidor, and fill it with Backwoods, and perhaps a few Dutch Masters. Then I'm gonna order a Louis XIII & Coke.

Zanna;

email if you like, you friggin slay!!!!

theincredibletrannygranny@yahoo.com

everyone is laughing because Detroit is known as the vacation capitol of the world, top cap humour!

Zanna: I'm starting to think Tranny might be my brotha from anotha motha.

I am a bit surprised that you would know of them. Not really the sort of thing many ladies would go for. Interesting that you would, though. :)

Fa

I went to a "Wine and Cheese" party in Boulder one time. I filled a REAL french champagne bottle (borrowed from a snob friend) with the local equivalent of Dago Red....you've never seen 20 douches fawn over a bottle of what is basically Mad Dog like that!

Tranny:

Nice! I've got a buddy who works at a microbrew pub. Whenever he gets real beer snobs in, he'll treat them to a pitcher of a "brand new" Czech import that's "gonna be bigger than Stella Artois" - aka Busch (it's in an unmarked tap, a couple of real old regulars drink it, that's the only reason they have it).

Amazing to watch how many of them convince themselves that it really isn't horsepiss.

Well, 83 -

My ex bf smoked backwoods sweet, it smells nice. We'd go see BB King when he was in town and we'd both smoke during the concert and embibe. I like the smell and taste of Backwoods Berry too.

Ok, I just got here, was gone all day, but I have to say this....Tranny and Zanna- get a room, seriously 'cause ya'll are making me horny.

Zanna: Cool; not a bad way to spend an evening. :) Wasn't knocking you or anything, just thought it odd. Backwoods usually aren't very well known.

Funny stuff:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/audio/3-way-prank-call.html

Kinda fits in with all the innuendo...

i have a cold :(

The first few times I heard James Blunt's song "You're Beautiful" those feel good hormones started circulated through my body, goddammit, I had no control over it.

#60- yeah, wait 20 minutes... but it's quality, NOT quantity that counts.

Anyway, I gave my last sex-ed lesson at about 17. I'm too old to start giving lessons again. Well, and it pisses me off...

Evangelia: sorry to hear that. Just got over one myself. Want the rest of my Ny-Quil?

Ari: isn't it best to be both a gourment AND a gourmand? :)

er, gourmet...

where's Papa Hot Nuts??? Only a couple of posts today. I hope he's working on his site so I can have some troll-free comedy to pass the hours.

Who in the hell is he?!!!
I bet he has a big penis, that always traps the ladies.

Hmmm...getting a lot of spam for Cialis today. Ever think what the poor rats who tested that stuff had to have been thinking??

"Hey, labcoat!! Yeah, you! What gives? You give me some damn pill that gives me wood for 6 hours, but (1) I'm in a cage by myself; and (2) I have no opposeable thumbs! What the hell, man!?! I'd say that I hope your kids get cancer of the eyes, but then you'd give me that just to test the potential cures! So where would that get me? Flyin' solo in my cage with a raging hard-on and cancer of the eyes. I hate you!"

94--A glutton for fine sex..err.. food?

Works for me...;)

Here, love, let me feed you another grape...

Pepe: He's usually more of a day-shift kinda guy.

Ari: oops, you dripped some grape juice. Better let me erm, *clean* that for you...

Is this a fucking joke?? Who the hell is this dork, and why does it look like he's being stalked by a bunch of Slovakian supermodels....??

Ok, ok, I will ask the question does he have a 12" cock or something???

HAHAHAHAHA!!

Just noticed this...

Check out how hard the guy next to her in Pic. 2 is suckin' in the ol' gut-aroo. Well, I *suppose* it could be "beach day" at Auschwitz....

He's not good looking (see above), his songs are terrible and sound like he had his testicles removed, and he's not a good person (cheated on two girlfriends). Clearly there's mind control going on here. I think it's time for a government intervention. We need to save this poor girl!

Good Evening, the baby is asleep and I'm on Patrol...
Who is this guy? I thought he was Beck at first.
I admire a model who has a better grip than a man during a Tsunami, I shouldn't have said that...I'm going to hell.

Did they go on a Senior's Cruise to Old Hag Island? They're surrounded by the geriatric ward. WTF?

Note to self: When I retire a saggy old broad, go to Ibiza on vacation.

In that last pic, gramps is thinking "Young whipper-snapper!...Or was it young whippable snapper?"

The local TV station where I live has been playing his song "You're Beautiful" about 10 times a day, plus commercials for the Miss USA pageant. I am so glad that pageant is over so I will not ever have to hear that bleating goat-voiced assclown sing ever ever again. I hope he jumps off a cliff.

Oh come on guys, this phenomenon is hardly new..
Billy Joel and Christy Brinkley
Rod Stewart and Penny Whatshername
Seal and Heidi Klum
It seems that supermodels just want guys who can sing and/or play an instrument.

I personally am against it, as seeing high profile hot women with revolting looking men only makes it harder for regular chicks. If Mr Beer Gut with a Mullet thinks he should be landing hotties like that..... well... we are all doomed.

Maybe she's one of those beautiful people, who feel really insecure about their looks and standing next to short, ugly guy, she can at least be sure that she's the prettier one of the two.

Shit, how did Tom Green score Petra?
She looks great, I love her color.

Weird Al on Blunt. I still have no fucking clue who this Hobbit is, ...

http://media.thechrispirilloshow.com/mp3/yourepitiful.mp3

"Magic powers" my ass. More like: James Blount has "a steady supply of cocaine and completely non-threatening slightly flabby thirteen year old boy body."

I find that models like to surround themselves with people less attractive. And they like to do lots of blow. If they can SCORE the blow for FREE via an ugly, pasty, ass-kissing puss musician of a boyfriend, well, that's just icing on the supermodel cake.

Icing they'll inevitably scrape off before secretly scarfing down the entire cake only and throwing it up later. Then it's back to their busy schedules of sleeping, drinking, snorting more lines and standing around looking beautiful.

God I wish I were a supermodel.

Or an astronaut. Astronauts get a lot of free blow too, right?

On behalf of all pasty white boys out there I say you GO James. Gives us a faint glimmer of hope. LOL

Wait, ya'll are saying there's a man in this picture somewhere. I can't see him...it must be my dad...and she must be my mom...and those have to be mine then! Hahahahahahahha!...Oh sorry.

OMG... that last picture just seriously helped me get over my hangover and the fact I have to be at work the next 9 hours... he is a frickin midget!!! I mean thats absolutely absurd she likes him... I guess he has a good voice... thats about it from what it looks like!!

He reminds me of the guy in our mailroom at work. Who likes to sniff my mail and rub himself against the postage machine.

I'd take anthrax over some of the stuff I've found on my envelopes.

sweetcheeks

Do you know what I like about models? As long as you keep them coked up and don't mind them puking a lot, you can essentially keep them bent over all day long, and put it wherever you want. When they toss, I tell them I'm trying to keep their hair clean, but I'm really just pulling it for fun. Fuck, I'm still drunk, aren't I? Going back to bed. Enjoy work, fuktards!

That's his towel, he uses it to hypnotize her. Now she's using it to try to hypnotize that old man into giving her his wallet. Shouldn't she be scared shitless of the beach? Not a palm tree in sight for her to hold on to...

Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on June 8, 2006 07:58 PM

Life sucks. Petra's one of those rare "supermodels" that actually live up to the hype, she doesn't look like a teenage boy in drag or use cocaine as a nasal decongestant. Blunt is in major denial about his homosexuality, and he has the beginnings of a comb-over going on. Normally I cheer when the little guy, average joe, common man, what-have-you does good - but Blunt?? He sings like his testicles are in a frozen vice and being nibbled by spiteful chipmunks. This is so wrong, so depressing, that I fear I shan't even masterbate today.

UNWASHED, I love you. Are you a guy? Let's get married.

Petra stop it! First Bruce Willis and now James Blunt - leave some for the rest of us, woman!

#44. "You wouldn't see me on a windy day near a kiddie pool."

Classic

This makes me angry.

Even the old wrinkly bastard in the last pic is looking at the both of them like he's with her, "What the fuck".

I heard he wants to try his luck in acting now. They want him to play the little boy who drank "Jesus Juice" with Micheal Jackson. I could be mistaken, but I think it's gonna be called "Neverland"..........

Ibiza? Looks more like Miami Beach with all the geriatrics. And why is everyone so CLOSE?

Petra doesn't need a towel to hypnotize people.

My chick magnet skills must not be up to par if this pale-faced hobbit can pick up supermodels. Either that, or supermodels are really dumb. And like men smaller than they are.

did you see her last BF that died in the Tsunami. he was half a shade of gay too. maybe she likes pseudo homosexuals. she is czech or from some other eastern european country where the men look like women yet treat their women like shit. i also, for some reason, doubt shes the sharpest knife in the drawer.

David Spade and James Blunt are in this together. Think about it - how often do you see two midgety men strutting it on the beach, with these gorgeous women who are too blinded by their pasty whiteness to realize what they're doing? And we've been hit with two pictures of this in one week.

Once these human Oompa Loompas have perfected the formula, they will bottle it and hawk it on QVC.

Wait! Is Petra the chick that got stuck in the palm tree for like a month after the tsumani hit? Wow. She is brave to get near the water again. . . maybe that's why she decided to date the mini-Blunt, fear of heights. . .

They reminde me of that couple from the show "Lost" aparently a short doofy boyfriend is the new black.

You guys are way off. They aren't together.

It's obvious they're simply shooting a scene for "Cocoon 3". Duh

I can do short and doofy

only one logical explanation to all this madness, James Blunt is Harry Potter and his put a spell/curse on her.

@134: I'm counting the days until Harry Potter is "legal". Blunthead has nothing on my magic boy.

#135

It's not the size of the wand, it's the magic inside?

I hate having to sound so harsh, but if it weren't for the Tsunami I would have never known who this girl is. And, I do love models, celebrities and the A-listers, but I tend to follow the "Big wiggers" and not the little ones ... Cindy Crawford, Heidi Klum, Shalom Harlow, Tyra, Elle, etc ....

They look like, "Beauty & The Beast" ... "The Princess and the Geek" !! haaa !!!!

I like that part in his video when he jumps off the cliff. I wish that there was a big pile of broken glass at the foot of the cliff rather than cool ocean water. That would make the video much more relevant.

She's obviously now legally blind. Maybe all that floating debris disloged the part of her brain that controls eyesight, depth perception and the inate extreme aversion most of us have to hideousness (I would add intelligence, but let's face it, she's model... probably not the brightest candle on the ol' menorah). The towel is probably brightly colored to make her spot there on Coney Island beach easier to find.

I can do spells/curses...

hey pinky_nip, did you know that Harry Potter's wizard name is "Harry Pot-head"?

Dobie, the house slave gave him the name cause they hide in the dungeons and whip-up magical dobbies sorta like the indians smokin' the peace pipe.

I wish James Blunt could magically become hot.

also get some sun before you hit the beach with a model...

you're so translucent.... I'm blinded.

Isnt it strange that they are on that rocky, crowded as hell, beach? No chairs? no coolers? Did some ship just drop them off there for day camp?

@142 Maybe his name should be spelled Doobie! They were just trying to keep it PG for the younguns!

They can both go to hell. Him: for getting her. Her: for wanting to be got by him. Hell, I say.

you people need to stop hating all over coney island.

137 you'd be right on the money if this were 1995.

i hate being sick.

p.s. i'd fuck that bitch. she's hot.

isn't he the guy that sings some pansy ass song about wanting to go home?????

My presh-shous! My presh-shous!

That's not her towel. It's his flag and he flies it proudly. Pussy.

I have a feeling that whatever is going through everyone's mind when they see those pictures is what people think when they see my with my boyfriend. You know, because I'm dead fucking sexy.

@142: Snape's the one with the good shit. All those herbs in his cupboard.

For all you who don't know who this pile of shit is.

Prepare yourselves bitches.

http://www.jamesblunt.com/profile_biog.html

#136-
Exactly. There really can never be too many ways to phrase that.

Of course, a really big, really powerful magic wand is best...

#153

Are you kidding me? What an uber-pussy! Obviously his father didn't beat him enough when he was growing up. A couple of good ass-kickings and we wouldn't be hearing of his days of "prancing around London." Long line of savages, my ass!

#154 No complaints so far. . .

pinky_nip,
I got about two paragraphs into that and then fell asleep. Then my boss burst into my office and yelled at me for sleeping on the job. Since my job is a very important political writingfor polititians, if I fall asleep at the job people could die. So, needless to say he was damn near about to can me. But then when he saw what I was reading he got even more pissed because we're not supposed to use the office computer to look at sites about homos. So I lost my job. Thanks a lot.

Did that make sense because I'm high as a kite right now. That's the other reason I got fired.

"In essence, one day he was sleeping off a hangover at the back of a sociology lecture hall and the next thing he knew he was in Kosovo with a gun and a guitar strapped to the side of a tank, wondering who he could possibly sleep with to get out of this war"

Oh no, Osh, your life is kinda mimicing Bluntdick's!

@155: Yeah, he's a real savage. Fred Savage in the Wonder Year's days.

No osh, it didn't make any sense. I for one am terribly frightened for my life, having someone as important as you stoned at the wheel. OMG, I'm totally whigging out now. I guess I'm going to have to leave work early for a head start on my happy hour.

#160 Then Petra must be Bluntdick's Winnie.

#160 Then Petra must be Bluntdick's Winnie.

Damn, Petra looks so good. But that cameraman still should be shot. How did he manage to only get her standing with the towel?

And no one has explained how Tom Green got Petra.

Well, I just wish the SF guy would stay off the blunts and post another fucking story.

I guess I'll have to go back to working on my productivity report. How fucking exciting.

Fucking Fuckin' A.

Guys know how it works. You write some sappy, limp-wrist song like this spoonchested gimp or Your Body is a Wonderland and the cooze starts flowing.
I'm just about to go to a Poetry class and then strum a guitar on the corner, looking sensitive.

#159 - My guess is his male commanding officer.

With his ice-blue eyes and pale skin, he reminds me of a cold Russian winter. He's so pale he even manages to look cold on the beach.

166--
Not all women want that. I want a man to be a MAN. A testosterone-dripping, weapon-wielding man.

Spewing romantic stuff is nice from time to time, but not as a basis for a solid relationship built on lust.

Did anyone notice the 2 asses in the background on picture two?

One's in blue: nice

One's in black: more cushion for the pushin'

168

That's right, I sure as hell don't want a girlfriend with a penis.

I once was friends (he wanted more) with a guy who acted in plays, and he was all sensitive and mushy and wrote poems, and it was cute at first, but it got old really fast. Pussy.

Who??? and Who???

I'm sorry, but I'm really analyzing this pictures, but who the fuck are those people in the first picture and why are the standing so fucking close? Jesus, don't they have an entire sea to stand in?

You've got to like the old guy in the last photo....deciding just to go ahead and "rub one out" in public!

@172.

I believe is phenomonone is caused by the gravitational pull of her breasts. They're nearly sucking my eyes through my computer screen right now.

I meant this phenomonone...they're very hypnotic you know.

The woman on the far right in the first picture needs to rein in her back fat.

I think you're trying for "phenomenon".

Today's grammar lesson has been provided courtesy of jane's eyre.

The Ass

2nd Pic

12:30

MMMMMM

@177

"Yes, that too," he replied attempting to see through Petra's suit one more time.

Hey, did you guys know I have someone who changed their screen name just to insult me? I've finally arrived! I feel like a movie star!!!

Join the club! It's already happened to at least 8 people already.

Ari/Jane: I'll take your word for it. After all, the Spacedog is 100% USDA prime!
I guess I'll just go back to wrestling alligators and tearing phonebooks apart with my bare hands. Oh, and curing cancer.

181 - Yeah I know, you didn't have to crap all over my moment in the sun though. Jesus Christ.

I could change my name to "FuckYouOshYouSlipperySluttyWhore," if it'd make you feel better. I'm that kind of person. A giver.

182--
Models like the pansy-ass boys because they're non-threatening. They know that if they did actually have sex with someone like that, their hair probably wouldn't even be messed up and there certainly wouldn't be any marks (teeth, scratches, hickies, etc) afterwards to mar their beauty.

No damn fun at all.

@185: Yeah, and no fingerprint bruises on the thigh area.

184

Tee hee.

186-- or the hips either

Completely off topic here…
I would like to cut out Ann Coulter's tongue and take a huge dump in her mouth... then I would shave her head and stick needles in her eyes... then I'd stick a hot curling iron up her ass... then I'd take a big meat hook and rip out her tubes and ovaries to ensure that she doesn't reproduce... then I'd take needle-nose pliers and pull out all her fingernails, one at a time, after smashing her toes flat with a sledge hammer... That is all… I feel better now.

And no missing teeth, broken capillaries in your eyes, bruises around your neck...

No fun at all.

Sex is only dirty if you do it right.

189

'Cuz no one who doesn't agree with your personal opinions deserves to live...does that about cover it?

YOU got it!

Ohh, another argument on this site... I'm sooo suprised.

why do you people care so much about who shes dating, get some lives of your own, lord knows you need them

Rug burns on the knees, bruising around the wrist from cuffs, burns from hot wax on your ass, rope burns around the ankles....

STFU

193

Then welcome to the Communist party. We'll be handing out "I Voted Red" buttons shortly.

Jeezus christ... just when I think it's safe, the asshole shows up! I'm outta here! Hava good weekend everyone, 'cept willowcunt.

We're not fighting, whipper, it's called friendly banter. A concept of which you have no knowledge of.

WOW, he's really fug and she's so beautiful...he must have an excellent personality...either that or a very large penis...who knows...maybe he makes her laugh...

@201: Yeah, I know I laugh everytime I look at him.

For some reason she looks like Jessica Alba in these pictures to me.

I need to have them lay on top of each other so I can compare them better...without clothes...then the ritual spanking...and the oral sex...yes I'll have to spank all of the them.

#189 Can I join you? Please! I have some ideas as well ...
1. Tweeze the hair on her body
2. Dump salt in her eyes.

Stuff like that.

what a GAY website, and not in a good way. I just love the girl and the hula hoop. what a fag

180
Hey OSHBITCH! Isn't this whole website about you anyway? Shouldnt the name of this site be "the Bitch that calls herself Oshkosh..."-because she's ugly!

Osh you can be really funny and clever but the way you slam other posters and make others not come here anymore is really sad.

Does it all have to be about you?

And what an attention whore you are!

You have to use the sex talk to get the men to notice you because you probably look like the love child of Carrot Top and Star Jones. If it weren't for all the venomous comments people might think you are one of those "she has a nice personality" types.

Nope, you dont even have that going for you!

190-- Come on now, there's a huge difference between a hickie or love bite roughness and missing teeth/broken capillaries in the eyes roughness.
As for the bruises... well, it doesn't take much for me to bruise, so that doesn't mean a lot.

*refills jane's margarita as well as my own*

Happy Fucking Friday!

#206~ What's with the hateful words to Osh? I find him/her amusing as hell. Were you not breastfed as a child and now you hate the world or what?

there isnt a lot of posts these days, it is getting boring

His skin is some kind of glowing WHIIIITE, isn't it? I think the Nemcova wench is just keeping him nearby so that the sun's rays reflecting off the brilliant whiteness of his poochy hide will improve her own marvelous tan.

206 - Hey girl! I know it's you, lame bananas, but without further ado allow me to address your issues individually:
1)I'm sorry I made you sad by slamming other i.e. you. And on second thought, no, I'm not.
2)Yes, it does have to be all about me.
3)I don't need "sex talk" or a "nice personality" to get men to notice me. I just use my enormous cans.
and finally
4) You are a big fat dork.

Pussy labia cunt shit vagina.

I like the fact his name rhymes with cunt.

Osh you just cant accept that there are other people who dont like your games!

I have been visiting this site for a couple of months and have seen you and your ilk attack a lot of people.

If I knew you had big cans I might not have strated this, cause me likee the bigguns.

Nah, big cans cant excuse a lack of class. Just look at Jessica Simpson!

@213: Chill out dude. It's Friday. Allow me to give you a xanax and take you to your anger management classes.

Oh, and FYI I am a little fat dork who still thinks you are a sometimes funny cold hearted bitch!

axel f's crazy frog song is so fucken annoying.
ting ting ting tin tin tin ting ting

OSH
How would anybody get to your "beef curtains" anyway? Do the boys have to smear Vicks Vap-O-Rub under their noses to brave the stench that wafts from between your thunder thighs?

yeah really chill out. i really dont get it. if you obviously hate this site, hate the posters, hate the fact that people like osh, hate osh then what the fuck are you doing here? i dont go to sites i dont like. why would you come here? is it to ruin everyones fun? are you that miserable and pathetic that you really feel the need to ruin it for everyone else? did nobody teach you anything in school?

it was going SO NICE when assholes like 13, whipper and lamebananas werent on here.

osh i really hope this jealous bitch doesnt run you away from the site because people will be sad. 213 is obviously jealous because they cant come up with anything remotley funny to say. you'd think people would be happier at 430 on a friday!

i think osh has a stalker on her hands. look at the ferver this person is writing about her. notice osh's lack of comments. notice how she's talking to herself.

SCARY!

Dude, I am just COUNTING the minutes to get the fuck out of here! 25 minutes.... Chardonny here I come!

OSHKOSH!
What made you so desperate? Was it the B.O. or the smell of cat piss that kept the boys away when you were growing up? And I guess you can't afford the Proactive when you are on food stamps. Is that when you learned that there is always a teenage boy who will "love" you if you put out. But, they only loved you until their friends found out. Then they shunned you and made fun of you like everybody else, didnt they.

220 i am so jealous. i have a whole hour til i get to leave. but i guess i could sit here and watch this bitch have a conversation with herself. i'm kind curious how long it will last

GnoshKoshBiatch, (aka whipper willow), I haven't forgotten you, I still offer my psychiatric expertise to help you, let go of your anger....tell me about your mother and how she stuck that cattle-prod in your ass.

A. Hope everybody has a good weekend, and I am jealous of all you east coast people who get to leave an hour ahead of me.

B. Gnosh, you should really try masterbating to relieve some of that tension. You are starting to scare the hell out of all your fellow postal employees.

Hey OSHKOSH!
Do strangers make fun of you because of that little bit of spit that flies out of your mouth when you say certain words?

Did the neighborhood kids call you "Spitty Spit-Spit"?

Which do you have more of in your freezer; ice cream or Hot Pockets? And do you have more than a dozen cats?

I gonna venture a guess and say that GnoshKoshBiatch... is really BoredBlonde?
Too semi-intelligent to be whipperbananafucktard.

222- I think it'll take more than talking. Drugs. Lots and lots of drugs. Maybe even an overdose...

Dude, get a rabies shot recently?

Bloody Mary for me, pinky_nip!

lame bananas AKA GnoshKoshBiatch, your statements are thought-provoking and insightful. If you were wondering how to get to my "beef curtains" I must first explain that there is a credit check and physical involved, followed by a stamina test which ensures the applicant will not blow their load by simply seeing me slightly bent at the waist or removing my shoes, which has been an all too frequent and unfortunate occurance. Also, applicants are placed on a lengthy waiting list to be considered worthy of orally pleasuring me for hours on end. However, all who have passed screening have applauded the experience as "addictive" and "magically delicious". Your chances, lame bananas, at getting to my "beef curtains", you see, are slim to none. Thank you for asking.

Ignore the fucking moron.

You all have a splendid weekend, except for the fucking moron. May you misread your bifocals and stumble into a vat of boiling beets.

LOL Chicagoboy... wish I could join you for some windy city fun this weekend :)

when shit goes down and gnosh is found having sex with rotting corpses she/he dug up all while wearing silk stockings, earring and crying about its mommy not loving it, i dont want to testify. keep me out of it. this person is seriously frightening. fucking scary shit.

225 - No, no, ice cream, no.

I'm new around here, but I seem to sense some hostility in the air. Why can't we all get along...to the liquor store? Ten minutes to lift off.

3 more painful hours at work...

#229

It's a good weekend to be in Chicago, the street festivals kick off this weekend and Blues-fest is in Grant Park.

Darn! Darn! Darn!
I am not LameB, Whipper, Or BoredB!
I am just trying to get into the inner circle by showing OSH that I can be a bitch like her.
I hope OSH and I can be BFF!
Maybe then she can send me some nekkid pictures of her and I can keep them in my wallet so I can show my friends at the post office that I have a girlfriend!

you guys are lucky to be getting off work so soon, I have a couple more sessions with some psycho's, I mean patients...

198 - You voted for Red Buttons? I didn't know he was into politics. Holy shit! Who's next? Slappy White?

#236 I call those type of people "clients"

# 238 hahahaaa clients. you must be a lawyer

GnoshKoshBiatch, I offer you a free session, pro bono-fied, if you will...please, tell me about your mother sticking the cattle prod in your anal rectum.

Well, Gnosh, as you can see, you suck. I hope this clears up any thoughts you might've entertained about being awesome or cool.

#235 Simply put, you are not even remotely funny.

can't we all just get along? I've got a tear in my eye as I read this. The only thing that will cheer me up now may be a racially motivated beating on the local news or my hot neighbor giving my balls a serious tongue bath.
Chicagoboy- mid 60's and rain this weekend. Puts a damper on the old town art fair and blues fest.

#235

just shut the fuck up.

papa, when, o when will your site be up?

oh, yeah, has anybody reported this sick fuck yet?
i get the feeling poor mr. superfish is hiding under his bed, thumb in mouth, lamenting he ever got into this biz.
i don't blame him.

240
Oh bigponie you are so funny! Isnt it redundant to say free and Pro-bono? Same thing with anal and rectum. Good thing there are smart people like you in the mental health field.
Or did you choose that kind of work to try and understand your own inner flaws? Did you get caught having sex with the barnyard animals? Is that why you are so fixated on cattle prods?
Or do you have mother issues?

246, your on the road to healing, keep going monkeyboy

#243 Yeah, weather is supposed to suck this weekend. Windy City is kind of a misnomer.

gnoshkoshbiatch you have been reported.

i wish edna was here.

Gnosh - seriously, calm down. Any one of us can sit here and tear apart just about every post on this site if we give it enough time. I'm not sure what brought this on but enough already. The more aggressive you get the more it appears that you have some serious issues. I'm not saying this to incite or anger you, but you should read what you've written and take a step back and ask yourself why. That's all I have to say about that.

well reporting people apparently doesnt do shit. they cant block IP addresses and typekey lets any random asshole make a million usernames.

if this shit keeps up the superfish guy might freeze comments all together.

DO NOT FEED THE TROLL anymore.

Oh why oh why is everybody hating on me? Im just going to a site about celebrities and making fun of some of the people that post on it.
Isnt that what makes OSH so cool?
Is it because Im black? Are you all a bunch of racialists or just hypocrits?

246 Still not funny.

yeah, i know we can't report people. bigjim tried that protest thing remember? sf guy said it won't work. so we ignore this thing till it stops rambling.

I'm sorry I had a fight at your Black Panter party.

OK, i still remember when her boyfriend/fiancee was swept away in the tsunami and they found him 3 miles away or something...i guess she's over that??

252 topaz21,
you're right. i don't know why this particular troll has me so pissed. this site was SO much more enjoyable a few months ago.

so, guys, slow news day on the SF. anything else new?

Yes, we're all racialists. *eyeroll*

Hey check this out...this is a pic of her boyfriend who perished in the tsunami and he resembles JB a little
http://www.wireimage.com/images/simon_atlee.jpg

She likes the pasty Brit types I guess.

252
Oh Topaz, what up?
You were so awesome when you were ripping that Feed_me chick apart! That was some funny stuff man!
I just want to be awesome like you!
Isnt there room for me?

#253- Racialists? (New word?) Hypocrits? (sp.)
You may have just blown your only chance at getting your G.E.D.

#252 word of the day.........

I'm pretty sure that's my grandparents behind them in the first photo. bet that beach smells "funny"

I like James, he's so wee

#253 I'm down with your program but it's hypocrites. And yes this site has become so fucking lame it hurts.

I want to be reported, someone please report me.

#253

It's not because you are black, or brown, or yellow, or red, or gay, or straight, or male, or female.

It's because you're an idiot.

Dang you all caught my misspellings! I guess I dont belong here like all of you super duper intellectual types!
"Racialist" is borrowed from Ali G.

Because youre a fucking psycho path. you have a layer of creepiness all around everything you write. creep

264--
what would you like to be reported for, honey?
(yes, i know that's grammatically incorrect. fuck me)

; )

265
Your mom doesnt think Im an idiot!

and you suck even more because you steal shit from people who will always be funnier then you. you suck ass

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060609/ap_on_re_us/myspace_mideast_trip;_ylt=AnJh415JuHsNBznXqRZo2TcDW7oF;_ylu=X3oDMTBhZDhxNDFzBHNlYwNtZW5ld3M-
for all you myspace people!!!
how sad sad sad.
great parenting i must say.

246. Posted by GnoshKoshBiatch on June 9, 2006 05:06 PM

240
Oh bigponie you are so funny! Isnt it redundant to say free and Pro-bono? Same thing with anal and rectum. Good thing there are smart people like you in the mental health field.

I guess it's ok to make fun of someone's spelling/grammar/intelligence when it suits your needs, though.

#270 My mother is a saint, and I just called her and she wanted me to tell you that she thinks you are an idiot too. Idiot.

256

Is that where you get pants-ed (sp??) (pantst-is that better?) If so, sign me up, I've got a cute pink thong covering my luscious mocha ass that's just waiting to be exposed.

someone please post their myspace link so we can change the subject.

Gnosh - Firstly, your nickname obviously tells everyone you're a troll looking to start trouble. Secondly, nothing you've written is funny, witty, charming, ironic, or even vaguely amusing. Now you're starting with mom jokes? You really need to go away.

I know, I know: _______________ (insert joke about Pepe Roni's mom here)

Thought it was time for some love around here. The ph level in this pool is wayyy off. Too much shit floating around-that must be it.

278- can we hear more about your "mocha" flavored back-yard?

#278 Mocha and pink, huh? Color me intrigued!

272
that "myspace" shit is scary. but not surprising. i've got a daughter, 20 going on 12, and we STILL monitor her computer use.
guess somebody should moniter mine, eh?

275 - I get my pants locally at Jos.A.Bank, Marshall Fields (soon to be Macy's) Mark Shale, and if it's a slow month on the job, Kohl's.

Though in the midwest, pants are often referred to as "Slacks" and/or "Trousers"

#282 A fellow Chicagoan!

hmm mocha what kind? regular? white or dark chocolate.

born and raised.

I dont care what he does for a living it doesnt make him good enough for her, she is HOT!

I'm of the Chicago Ronis, not to be confused with the Milwaukee Ronis. They're in no way related.

282
Did you totally miss out on my pants joke? Because I would be so broken hearted. Does anyone know the correct way to spell pantst, as in, someone runs up to a guy and pulls his pants down?

So you want to know about my backyard, huh? Okay, it's round, brown, and knocks men down. How's that? =)

#288 Afraid to ask, but North Sider or South Sider?

283

So do you call it, getting trousered?

289 - I got the joke, was just playing around because of the spelling (I don't know how to spell it, either)

290 - North Sider. I have nothing against the South Side, though. Maybe the accents. You?

#292 North-sider, and was one before I even moved to the city. Live near Wrigley. Wood got put on the DL again, one of my friends sent me the press release this afternoon.

291- From now on, we'll refer to it as such.

I was at a party last week and my friend "trousered" me. So I fucked his wife.

BTW, I'm really disappointed noone caught 256. It was the funniest line in Forest Gump (in my opinion)

I got it, Pepe Roni, I was just calling you on your misspelling of "Panther". Do you love me now?

I've always loved you, Jane's!! I must be slow today. I didn't even know it was misspelled. No booze yet, either. Oh well. At least I'm not Gnosh.

Later peeps! Everybody have a good weekend!

Hey Chicago guys, did you happen to see Conan when he was there for a week? Or see him walking around with Mr T? Those shows were friggin hilarious.

you too, northsider.

Ciao!

297

"YET" is the functioning word there!!

299 - I watched when they aired, but didn't see him around town. The shows were funny, but I thought they were a little over the top with all of the Chicago stuff. Mr.T is probably the most underrated actor of our generation. I love when he's on Conan.

90 more minutes and i'm out of this hell hole.

T's so funny when he does In The Year 2000, he always has a hard time not laughing. What a good sport he is.

Mr.T is doing commercials for our local black hole of a cable company. Funny ads, but man do I hate that company.

Pepe, do you get those Cash Call commercials out there, with Gary Coleman?

307 - I wish! What's that little buggar up to?

On that note, is Willis keeping himself out of jail?

It's really sad. It's one of those loan shark commercials, and he talks about how he needed some extra cash, so he called cash call, and the rest is motion picture history. Poor little guy.

Reminds me of MC Hammer doing ads for a law firm specializing in bankruptcy (sp?). Or maybe it was a credit counseling firm. Too little, too late. The sad part was he was all dressed up and would appear as a 12 inch version of himself.

That's just sad when formerly big stars are reduced to doing corny commercials for local businesses to make a buck. Do you remember when Hammer tried to do his comeback and he was pretending to be a gangsta? He wore a beanie in his music video that stuck up off his head. He looked more like the Music Man than gangsta.

"Pumps N' a Bump" was the name of the song. HORRID.

I don't remember that, but it's probably for the best. I'm not sure how I feel about formerly big stars. I guess they should be grateful they had their 15 or so minutes and were able to make more $$ than 99% of the rest of the world. I guess I just shake my head when I hear about those people having money problems. It seems that the smart ones don't have that much to worry about. I guess having a posse doesn't come cheap!
Have a nice weekend. I'm off to get some Knob Creek up in me.

#289 - Why do people call it getting pantsed when you're actually getting de-pantsed?

#312 - A la John Stamos doing commercials for that long distance commercials. Don't forget the MC classic Adams Family jam.

Jane, were you formerly someone else here?

Good question. And why do they call it "dusting" when you're un-dusting? Ha ha.

Oh yeah, I remember the John Stamos ones now that you mentioned it. *sigh* so sad when that happens.

And yes.

The majesty of song???
http://ultra8201.blogspot.com

James Blunt is THE most unnatractive man in the entertainment industry due to his hideous looks, and his horrendous music. I swear, every time I hear that "song" You're Beautiful, or whatever it's called, my ears bleed. Ugh.

319 Czar Amanda;

Yeah, that is what gives me the confidence to bone supermodels. I fucking love this doughy little tool. Cause if he can fuck Petra, I can totally nail the fat Pakistani at the gas station.

I don't even know who James Blunt is, and I'm very glad.

Were they swimming in front of a NURSING HOME or something?

James Blunt is for gullible losers who think cheesy pickup lines are cute.

I hate James Blunt... I hope he stays in America and not comes back here :@. Bloody Toff.

PS Come on England!!!!!!!

That guy is a fraud! I killed James Blunt months ago.

http://shhexycorin.co.uk/2006/02/11/i-killed-james-blunt-last-night/

I'd just like to say I'm very happy for the lovely Petra who has come through a huge trauma and survived it. I just hope The Blunt isn't a total c*nt to her, as he appears to have been to every other bird he's doinked in the last year or two (ex-gf Camilla, TP-T, one of the Pussycat Hos, etc etc).

He should realise how lucky he is. Petra really is worthy of "Yar byootehfool, yar beyoutifal... it's troue..."

there has to be some other explanation for this.

maybe before they have sex she has her make up artist work on him? seems like after six hours of his over-making she'd sort of lose the buzz, though.

HE LOOKS LIKE A BABY,

that's all I have to say, thank you

#324 LMAO

Guess he read all the comments here LOL

http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news?id=18295

Not sure why this comes as a surprise to anyone…this is just life but with “famous” people. Money/fame/status blind women, no actually make them think an ugly motherfucker is good looking. Men on the other hand couldn’t give a shit if a woman just cured cancer and is funnier than Chris Rock; if she’s ugly she not got a chance. Oh biology, why do you make us do the things we do? I mean, no doubt Petra is a goddess but she probably has the personality/intelligence of salad fork. But then again does that really matter?

This is a joke,right? It's got to be a PR thing, right? James looks ridiculous with Petra. Not only is she 8 inches taller but her body frame is much larger! Why did he take his whole family with him on a romantic getaway? I did hear that she's been after James, though. She must have sustained a serious head injury in the Tsunami!

WAIT!! Maybe she is a lesbian, and thats her gay friend!! I knew it