Jun 20 2006Jake Gyllenhaal is a five year old

Are you kidding me?? this seems like a bit of a stratch as far as funny or relevent is concerned

That girls dress is awful

holy flaming nylon I was first!

I like how he keeps one hand in his shirt while he uses the other to touch her shoulder.

hahaha. still love him. his maybe nervousness kind of adds to his charm.

He's pretty adorable, even when he's hairy like animal, but if he did that all the time with his shirt, I'd have to smack him.

Quit that!

I get to see the Stanley Cup this weekend! hehe.

Oh, and Jake is a fool.

Maybe he's hiding his new girlfriend Natalie Portman in there. He doesn't want the hot chicks to know he's taken. It could happen!

i find this so endearing. and i love that he doesnt ever actually look at the girls, and the awkwardness of the tender hand on the shoulder. oh so sweet and so cute.

id hit it. a lot.

I still think he's adorable, but um, Superfish guy? I saw these pics last week. Old news part deux.

i don't see what the problem is...im sure we all do random silly things throughout the day that we aren't even aware of...i don't think this makes him immature or anything...this is actually a pretty dumb story. C'mon guys your better than this!! Or, just a slow day?

Tom Cruise would find that soooooo sexy!

Wow... and this is when the site is on a real stretch for anything newsworthy.

Whatchoo talkin' bout?

To demonstrate that he can handle a sci-fi role, he's reanacting the scene from Alien, where the alien explodes from Kane's chest during dinner.

I find a better pickup method would be to say,
"My density has popped me to you".

Name that movie!

Yeah baby, YEEEEAAHHH!!!!

I agree with poster #5

14
*reenacting* I kant spel tooday

Well that doesn't look gay at all...

14 no offense but that was pretty much lame-o
but to be fair this is a lame story.

He's trying to cover up his erection

i find this so endearing. and i love that he doesnt ever actually look at the girls, and the awkwardness of the tender hand on the shoulder. oh so sweet and so cute.

id hit it. a lot.

Okay, is this better?

Glad you took the time to tell me you thought it was lame-o. That's so lame-o that you needed to tell me it was lame-o.

At least he wasn't tying it on the side in a knot. Now that's queer.

14. Lame-o? Really? Are you Rachel Ray or something? Yum-O!

back to the future

see this is shit that get you in trouble feed_me_jayne. you cant take a joke or understand when someone is joking around with you... learn to chill baby

EVOO
god i hate her. but in all fairness someone named wy-o-beth shouldnt start hating on "lame-o"

"tying it into a side-knot"... laff...

He's fuckalicious.

He can play with his shirt,get drunk and make a fool out of himself and THAT is what makes him so incredibly SEXY!I'm just dying here

26

I'm sorry, I apparently need to type *sarcasm* or *j/k* when I am. I thought the whole lame-o that you're lame-o bit would've been the tip-off, but apparently not. So don't be telling me this is "shit that get you in trouble", and try and scare me or something by combining names. Oo. I've not had problems with you before (that I can remember), so I don't know why you're gettin' all uppity with me. Chill babe.

*sarcasm* *j/k*

Hiding his bitch-tits?

25
Very good.

I think he's trying to hide his boner.

And by the way, I changed my name because Whipper was thread-stalking me, and when I changed my name, was so frustrated that he didn't know what it was, went so far as to get a myspace account, name itself Patricia, and email me to find out my new screen name. Does anyone else think that's really creepy?

God, I have the worst nervous habits. If that was me talking to 2 guys I would have already stuck my hands in their ice tea and began rubbing my nipples with the ice cubes. I have a hard time keeping my cool in those situations.

He's not even paying attention to whatever she's saying. He's just covertly staring at her tits. Look at the stupid grin on his face.

@34 If thats how he hides his boner, please tell us how you hide that nose of yours?

Oh shutup, Stallion.

Ok superfish guy is way digging here, this is cute and jake seems like a really decent guy hes adorable! Look at this story and compare it to the guy that takes blood from passed out herion addicts and hohan being a cokey bitch or Paris being an incompetent slut making shit videos, and tell me this is news or even something worth making fun of. Give jake a break. He's cute and this shirt thing isn't... anything.

Hey #29:

That is a great word. Perfect for Jake and yet easily applicable to other hot guys. I am replacing "I'd hit it" with "fuckalicious".

He looks like a hobo in those pictures. Maybe his hobby is panhandling.

If Jake chatted up anymore girls the day those pictures were taken, by the time he got home the front of his shirt must have been stretched down to his knees.

chill people. when did he get cute? i used to think he was so odd-looking and didn't get the appeal, but he's so cute now.

I don't care if his hands are in his shirt, down his pants, or up his nose. I STILL wish I was the girl in the second picture. I'd hit it...even if he was wearing his hott biker's outfit.

Both of those women are probably thinking, "Why isn't this flamer trying to talk to the guy at the next table?"

He's about to do that thing where you loop one arm around into both sleeves and as you pump it up and down you use the other hand to make it look like there's an alien coming out of your stomach.
That, or maybe he's resting his arms in his shirt. I'm sure that they're hard to hold up when you've been doing the stand around with your arms crossed exercise with Ryan Phillipe.

It's because talking to women makes him uncomfortable, because he is gay.

42
Ha ha, I bet when he sits down, he puts his knees inside the shirt too.

@38- Can you imagine the size of the BreathRight strip she must use? She'd have to duct tape a sock across her face.

He's just trying to re-attach the ends of his colostomy bag, after that tragic colon accident on the set of a recent movie.

@48 Hefty trash bags makes a special breathing contraption for her, now if only they could make a muzzle so she didn't comment 50 fucking times on everything..........

I'd still spit on my hand, wipe it on my dick, and Brokeback bareback him...

She doesn't seem terribly interested in him.
I like the part where she shies away from his touch.

Stallion, must I use the riding crop on you again?

I don't have a muzzle, but I do have something she can stick in her mouth to shut her up. And gag her.

Well, you know, that may look a bit funny, but consider the alternatives he could be doing to keep his nervous hands busy - like picking his nose or something.

Wow. This story isn't pointless at all. Wow.

I think it's cool that Jake is trying to pick these chicks up by doing his Kirsten Dunst imitation. Sure, he forgot to put in his snaggle tooth, but you can't fault the guy for trying.

50 and 54 enough cut it out, that's like so three weeks ago. Try picking on someone else for a change.

58-- Like the trolls that actually cause trouble? But wait, that would make sense...

@59 Girl, calm down, I like like Papa and Italian Stallion. I'm just feeling left out is all.

Hottie, hottie, hottie. Yes. Hottie.

No stories on Jake are pointless. Especially when there's a photo.

I'd hit it.

I'm sick of this stupid shit. I'm going go watch the NBA Finals like a real man....but then I'll check this site out again later.

I need to reiterate..

I would fuck Jake, anywhere, anytime, anyway. I don't care if he's queer, in my fantasy, he is ALL over me.

He's just saying to the prospective lady "Yes my Grannies boobs hang down to here, I hope yours are a little more firm and fruity" .. it's all about reading the body language.

whats with the kitchen drapes doubling as that girls dress?

Ahhhh Jake Gyllenhaal. So sexy. Why are you talking to this girl with the fugly dress? Maybe there's hope for me ;-)

he's hiding his boner.

who cares, he's soooooooo gorgeous. Jakey have my babies pleeeeease!