Jun 27 2006Eva Longoria hits the pool

What the hell is she doing?

i like eva..not gonna lie

Yipes, that's mighty cheesy all right!

Looks like she is bitching about something. That's a surprise.

continued 5th streak.

Airbrush this Maxim!!!Quick! Number 1 hottest out of 100? My (cellulite-laden) ass!!

i hate eva and i pity tony parker. it makes me smile that her annoying skinny ass is cheesy. ha!

Are you kidding me? She barely has any. And some people no matter HOW skinny they get will always have a little bit.

And every single one of you that talk about it have cottage smeared all over your ass, mostly because you sit on this site all day.

1 in 2 women (eva longoria vs toni braxton) have cellulite on their ass. that however has nothing to do with her spreading her legs for the world to see....like any classy lady would do.

Eva rocks, she used to be really bad but over the past year she's become a much better actress and much less of an attention whore...I don't care about this

I'd hit it.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com/

I have to ask because someone has to do it; Is there anyone who measures up to The Superficial's standards and that of its audience?

I'll admit that the leg position in that first photo probably messes with the image, but Eva Longoria is a hot little number. Jessica Biel is a normal-shaped woman. I like this website because it offers the pictures of the pretty people and sometimes they're in a somewhat compromising position, but I really wish the comments could hit on more than one note and that the threads wouldn't devolve into back and forths about unrelated crap. A little broadening of the repetoire would be a welcome change. Though, I'll contiinue to come back for the pictures because needless to say, I'm superficial and I like to watch.

Pretty common, I've noted, among women who are thin without muscle tone. If she put some meat on her bones, she'd probably stretch her cellulite so thin that it'd be unnoticeable.

Of course ... why bother? A little cottage cheese never hurt nobody (my arse looks like a damn whipped pillow ... and I'm a dude!), and I'd still nail the hell out of her.

_R

I have an ass that resembles the texture found on a golf ball, but yeah, I'm damn happy she's got the cheese problem too! HA!

Someone shoot her.

Please.

If you're going to have cellulite on your ass (and most women have at least a little), at least make it round! That's one flat butt.

Too bad her man is dumb as rocks. He must have a big cock.

Can you say desperate center-of-attention-craving whore? I hope to someday be the person on the other end of that phone converstaion with her while she's picking toe cheese off her feet.

#12-just consider this website a place to vent for all of us contstantly putting up with all the celebrity perfection that is forced down our throat through air brushing and make up and stylists and special lighting, etc.

We deserve to rank on a little cottage cheese, even if it's really only a dimple or two.

No wait, I'd rather be the person who uses that sunchair next so I can lay my face right where her stinky-ass punky feet are rubbing all over. Mexicans...

every woman has at least a bit of cellulite.
hell, even victoria beckham has some... somewhere.

Has anyone noticed her feet look like flippers in the last picture? Is she part sea lion? Or dolphin?

So fine... want to touch the heiny.

I want to have sex with her body.

I cannot believe you guys call that cellulite! Eva is still one of the most gorgeous women out there. Who cares if shes annoying? Physically, shes still a hot little number.

Whoa, Eva, step back onto the Stairmaster. You gotta hold your hottest women title.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

Pic 1 - Nice rack on the blonde

Pic 2 - Eva says "So I was jerking his cock like this."

Pic 3 - Eva says "Then I turned around like this to give him better access."

Pic 4 - Eva says "I wish his cock was 'this big' because I like the cock."

Pic 5 - Eva says "So then he rode me with his hand on my back, like this."

Pic 6 - Eva says "I'm not gonna lie to you ... my breasts really hurt afterwards."

Pic blah blah blah bored now, insert gangbang comments here for pics 7 through 9.

Hands -- nasty!! Skinny, many veins. Gorilla hide now.

What is hot about a tiny flat chested woman with the body of a 10 yr old girl. The cellulite on her skinny ass just confirms she is overrated. Are we so obsessed with her because she has a dark complexion without a tanning booth? Shes not even talented or nice. Not impressed.

I know this site is intended to rank on famous people so that your average Joe can feel better about their life... but come on... Eva is in better shape than most women and fat like she has is normal, healthy and there is nothing wrong with it. We have become a society of stuck up perfectionists pretending that anyone who shows the slightest imperfection should be banned from view. WTF people? Get over yourselves.

she kinda looks hotter in "Desperate...". No make-up and she looks like my neighbour. Who is not pretty; in fact, she's ugly.

They look like a fun bunch of whores to hang out with.

Forget the arse, look at those man-hands! Parker must enjoy getting handies from grandma Eva.

@29. Please see # 19 comments. This is exactly what this site is for. And I'm sure if she was a nice person, we wouldn't rag on her. There have been previous stories on this site about her bitchiness, for example, when she and her basketball playing boyfriend were pulled over by the police in Texas. She made derogatory remarks about the policeman just being a "Mexican bicycle cop". Just because they are famous doesn't make them above the law, contrary to what is in their own minds. At it doesn't make them above our disparaging comments. If you don't like the site, go to Perez Hilton's where he picks and chooses whose ass he'll kiss and whose he won't.

she must be telling one hell of a story.

12. No.

29. Eva is in poor condition. She looks soft, and has quite a bit of dimpling on the ass and thighs for a young professional actress, who arguably makes her living on her looks, not her skills. And, primadona Barbie isn't attractive.

She doesn't work out enough, probably doesn't eat well, and is relying on a decent metabolism to get by. She's lazy. I am waiting for Eva's 'big as a house' photos in 10 years, after a couple of kids, a divorce, no work, ...

who is she? ;)

Discreet_chaos,

We'll do our best in the future to make sure this site conforms more closely to your personal preferences. Either that or you could just bugger off you gromless bint.

I don't care what anyone says - she is a sexy biarch! She can sunbath by my pool anyday!

You gotta love that third pic! :) GO EVA! WE LUV YA!

I see this chick and I think, so what? I don't really care too much about the ripple on the rump, in fact how can I blame her? She's about 4 1/2 feet tall in stilettos getting fucked and refucked multitudinous times weekly, by a man whose dick is probably half her height and girth. With twice the personality. I'm suprised she can even walk, let alone exercise, so I'll cut the overrated bitch some slack.

To the naysayers - I'll point out that the Eva is cute and very doable camp appears to be winning, thus far. Though, what I really would like to know about the pictures is if she's trying to get that bevy of bikini-clad women warmed-up for an orgy, by demonstrating the hokey-pokey.

She's more overexposed than Paris Hilton's vagina.

Where was this taken?

She's all over the damn place, kinda how my ADHD nephew acts when he forgets his ritalin.

But she looks quite fetching, hyper or not.

Not gonna lie..

I'd still fuck her.

In the position in pic #3

I think she's trying out for Ann Margrets role in Bye Bye Birdie for the community theatre. Because, you know, how long can the world watch Desperate Hasbeen HouseHos? Her crotch shot is dee-skustin'. Peeeew.

lol @ #41

pic #4 indicates that she has just finished a conversation with bananas

#46. stfu coob.

what an absolute attention whore, she's totally playing the camera, showing off her ass, spreading her legs and acting like a total slut...

MY KIND OF GIRL

I'd like to have some lesbian loving with her. And then we can share clothes.

These comments are too funny. Look people, this is where we come to say "I'd hit that fat bitch" It's what the SF people do and what we do too. I love how people take it seriously.

When I think of Eva, I touch myself.

#50 Hell Yeah - Eva's fucking fine!

in the last pic, it looks like the other girl is using eva's ear as an ashtray.

pic #8

ahhhh yes, spread it nice and wide so i can spin u round like helicopter blades...

god she's drunk.

Have you seen the family guy version of William Shatner?

Eww. But shes beautiful, so I guess it all evens out.

on that first picture, she looks like she's been pissing neat bleach.

#20 Mexicans......are hotter than hell!!!
Eva, Jessica Alba, Salma , me- all f'ing fine!!!!

i love tequila.
on another note:

dear, dear papa, when will your site be up?? i am more than happy to help, being one of those worthless few that have nothing better to do.

EMPTY NEST SYNDROME ROCKS!! whooo-hooooo!
seriously,papa. i can't take the coobs anymore.

btw, not to be a total 'tard, but what the hell happened to the jessica biel thread? i click on comments and it brings me back to the home page. hmmm. was she kicked off the SF, too? maybe she didn't pose enough for playboy?
damn.

LMAO @ #26. That's a great rundown and probably not far from the truth. And wow, she has a lot of whore friends, eh? Not that whores are bad or anything like that.

Maybe Axl should bite that instead...

Trust me, Eva let all the fame & fortune go to her head.
Just 3 short years ago I bought her from a coyote for $200 and she was very happy to clean my house and my pole.
Now she's so stuck up, she won't even return my calls.
This is why we need to toughen up the immigration laws!

How come everyone else has their cover-ups off but her? Is there something wrong with her tits? She's a fatso!

I wish I could say how her ass looks like a pot of vomitted omelette but come on it is looking good... In fact... Eva did you post this just to get people to say how good you look? God Damn you are an attention whore!!!

Oh yeah:
#65 and TCLTC

One word - OBNOXIOUS!

I do think she plays a good character on DH though. You know, rich, beautiful, spoiled, ex-model who'll step over anyone who stands in her way and looks down her nose at everyone? Come to think of it, I think she's just playing herself.

Hollywood flips a coin to choose who they will claim is the hottest babe then the machine starts churning out air-brushed crap to try and prove it.

I have an old leather chair that looks better than that cheesy butt.

By the way, latin women these days all look like whores and regardless of that fact none of them could ever really be the "Best" of anything as long as they are competing against "Any" hot blue-eyed blondes.

asssd

I've said it before, and I'll say again, that there used to be a time when the blood of fat, useless women like this were used to slake the powerful, angry thirst of gods who use magical powers every day to make the lives of mortals miserable. In this day and age where boys are allowed to kiss boys, thinking, feeling stem cells are murdered in their sleep, and the American Flag is being used every day by Hollywood liberals to clean up bus station urinals, maybe rendering her obscenely fat ass into a ritual paint for other grotesquely obese sacrificial victims would appease the Christ and let us all live in peace.

"Take ye, then, those great of girth and make of their abundance a pleasing unction. For thou shalt not suffer the fat in stature to horde His bounty, nor the bloblike to offend the eyes of the beautiful and worthwhile."

What a dumb, useless whore. If I were one of her friends I would throw her in the fucking pool and tell her a) to shut the fuck up b)to stop sticking her cottage cheese ass in my face and c)stop making me look at all her airbrushed pics in maxim and then "claiming" its just as great in person.

looks to me as tho they're playing charades...hint: food, 2 words, type of cheese....

http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/

Overexposed, overrated, and way too full of herself. That said, I'd hit it like Pam Anderson's hit the wall. I'd have to gag her first, though. Or slip her a roofie.

BIATCHO...WHERE ARE U?

OH..THERE YOU ARE, HOW'D YOU GET UNDER THE SOLE OF MY SHOE?

@68, I am a fourth generation American of Spanish, & Native Mexican descent and I must say, I do not look like a whore. Your statement tries to contradict many, many Miss Universe pageants, but fails. The truth is many Latin women are gorgeous (not Eva so much, though) and that is why they have beat out many blonde, blue eyed girls in those competitions.
Yea, I am sure most guys would pick Courtney Love and Paris Hilton over Jessica Alba and Salma Hayek just because they are blonde. There are skanks and winners in every coloring-get over yourself!

zip it negra.

I want to know if they all joined in on a topless tickle fight later on... my hot girlfriends and I do that all the time.

*insert Chester Cheetah motto here*

what the hell is a negra? is that code for "better than you"...awww, why thank you! YOUR TOTALLY LIKE AWESOME DUDE!

@75 Courtney Cox isn't blonde.

I am really surprised the nekkid pregnant Britney Spears pix aren't on the superfish yet... they're on perez's and i think cityblog. That would be a comment circus right there, I tell you what.

#33. that story is highly unlikely bc eva IS mexican. not everything you read on here is true idiot.

Have you guys ever had one of those big vagina days?
No?
Nevermind then.

I wanna put a tattoo on her ass that say's "bigponie eats here"

I didn't recognize her without the requisite five pounds of eyeshadow and pastel lipgloss.

And who the fuck wears ankle-lace wedges to the fucking POOL? Everyone knows that knee-high patent leather boots look MUCH better with a bathing suit. Or plastic stripper shoes.

god 68 you are so lame no wonder people are always ragging on your hillbilly, cross burnin, cousin fucking ass. moron. i bet youre ugly as sin and have one good tooth. go find your cousin cooter and fuck her in the ass. better yet go fuck lamebanana.

OSH, YOU ARE A BIG VAGINA.

Whateva. I'd still throw her my cock and give her a spin.

80
Courtney LOVE, not Cox.

I can think of about 300,000 women that are better looking than her, and about 300,000 women that aren't. And I would have sex with all of them on a giant silk pillow.

It's all good.

well, her ass sure looks better than mine, as well as most other asses in this country. go eva! you look a little goofy in these pictures, but you're hot, nonetheless. :)

Osh, a couple of weeks ago, my vagina and I were talking about feelings. She felt I verbally abused her too much on these posts. So to appease her, after I stroked her to sleep, I promised I'd say this: my vagina and I are the best of friends, she rules! She's pretty and sweet and soft, and I love her.

Don't tell her I said this, but I have big vagina days too. That's when I strut my stuff in tight pants, so everyone can see some toe.

krisdylee, I know what you mean. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells all the time when it comes to dealing with my vagina. She's always like, 'do I look fat?', 'do you think I'm pretty?'. I'm like, 'You look great, goddammit, now move, I can't see the game. And bring me a beer.' Vaginas are so touchy, I find it helps to give them some tough love on occasion.

@88 Consider me chastised.

Ya know, even though her ass looks like cottage chesse, I wouldn't mind spreading a serving of my creamy ranch dressing all over that little spinner.

Nevermind her ass, look at her hands! She has the hands of 60 year-old member of the proletariat.

I'd still nail that. And all of her little pool friends can hang around and wait for their turns.

Eva looks crazy like she's big time hyperactive and all her friends are just putting up with her and hoping she will calm down so they can read their magazines.
On picture 8 it looks like Cousin It is looking over her shoulder

#80

Here's a link where I saw them:
http://www.hollyscoop.com/blog-detail.aspx?BlogID=6390

All I can say is, Demi was much hotter. Britney really is NEVER coming back.

#75 you should get your wet back matched up with that unitless-spaz. Hey spaz...chica can take care of that skid-mark problem of yours. hahahaha

P.S Pageants? You're going with pageants?
Everybody knows that crap is fake/pc
BS... societies determined a long time
ago that tall blond blue eyed babes
with a great rack are the ideal fembot
That's why all you lessor beings keep
putting bleach and dye on your heads.
Even buttboys like spaz worships
marilyn monroe........

@98 No wet back here. What part of 4th generation American didn't you understand?? Inbred much? I'll let your intelligent, insightful, comments continue to represent the argument against Americans of Spanish-speaking origins. You do wonders for MY cause.

I've no problem with people who find Eva attractive, to each his own, but that she has been named by the blind idiot editors of Maxim hottest bitch like three years in a row (her win streak coming on the heels of J-Lo's reign) makes her (and her ass) open targets. How does this certified bitch beat out the likes of Jessica Alba, Petra Nemcova, or any other of the numerous women who came in second to her? She is yet another example of how we as a public are force-fed who we are supposed to like.

Oh and in conclusion, you're an idiot!
That is all, for now.

EVERYONE HAS A LITTLE COTTAGE CHEESE. Very few who don't - regardless her body is tight.

You people are dropping loads at the age of ten so those wet back generations of illegals don't mean a damn thing taco.

103
I'm surprised that you could spare time away from your KKK meeting to come on here and spew your hateful vomit, you bigoted, disgusting piece of shit. You better hurry back, you might miss the bus over to the Blue Eyed Devils concert.

I bet you type with one hand and your lips move with each hit.

No, idiot, I'm an admin assistant, you kind of have to be able to type quickly in my job. Is that the best you can come up with, you inbred half-wit?

I like Eva because I like small breasts but I am getting tired of seeing her everywhere.

An assistant admin....hahahaha

Could you possibly squeeze in any more comma's??? hahahaha

I'd tap that, but really now...she is proof that without makeup, she's average at best.

Oh great, now you're dyslexic as well? It's administrative assistant, not assistant administrative.

And what's this nonsense about too many commas? It's called punctuation, darling. Of course I wouldn't expect a backwater, chigger-infested, knuckle-dragging buffoon such as yourself to know about that.

Jfp...I am Latin and I do not look like a whore. The blond-blue-eyed chicks you might like can look just as whorish as anyone else. You might be the type of dude that likes balloon fake breasts and fake blond hair for all we know. Take your racism and shove it up your urethra. Might not have a long way to travel anyway.
I fucking hate Eva Longoria but hey, her ass still looks better than mine. I don't care.

don't fuck with AAs and EAs

You haven't a clue...but then you are an assistant admin. It would seem you have way too much time on your hands. Hahahaha admin..hahahaha

That's right, I haven't a clue about you, other than you're an ugly racist pig.

I'm (originally) a Southerner, and I have to say, her ass makes me hungry. Cuz we cook everything in pig lard.

Forget the cellulite, I'm more concerned with what is going on with her left ass cheek... In the first pic that bad boy looks like its about to drop any minute! Its a soquid, y'know not quite a solid but not quite a liquid either and its oozing right off her body. I don't blame it though...

butt cheek- "Oh great, she's telling another story about how great she is. Fuck it, I'm outta here!"
Run butt cheek, run!

These pics are from last year. next.

Fuck. I wish I was rich like these bitches. I want to sit by the pool and drink.

These pictures are about five cosmos away from a drunken lesbian orgy.

@103 Taco??? Surely "TAMALE" would've been snappier, you half-wit. Let's see my mom and dad are over 20 years older than me and their mom and dad are 2o-something years older than them and my great grand parents have been dead for years. Oh, how I miss my great-grandparents. I am going to cry, now. See what you did, Jethro!!!???!!! Now run along and go eat your possum grits and hog jowls, k?

OK you guys, don't you get it? JFp is just a blonde haired blue eyed chick who is trying to make everyone think that all blondies are hot, but she's probably ugly as hell anyways. Not all blondes are hot, and she is no exception. If blonde girls are so fucking hot, how come the HOTTEST VICTORIA SECRET MODELS are all mixed ethnicities with brown hair? dumb ass. You're not hot shit. Blonde hair and blue eyes are fucking overrated. I'd rather do a hot little latina or asian over some gigantic fake blonde with plastic titties anyday.

Real mental giants, this group. Reading People magazine, smoking & listening to prolific Eva.

Oh god, she is such a dirty whore.

is she having Concussion?

Theres definetly no cottage cheese on heavens most beautiful daughter I would give my life for just one look in her eyes face to face how can you all say mean things about your fellow sister she is perfect! My advice if you dont have nothing nice to say dont keep it too yourselfs jealousy is ignorance be happy for her and for yourselves. A poem for you Eva MY LOVE without perfect love.
EVA
when it comes to love
I'm so lost
I'm so blind
When it comes to death
Instead I'm ready to rest
When it comes to you
My whole world starts to shine
One look in your eyes and I start to feel fine
Intimidated by your look
Enticed by your mind
What would life be like if you were mine
No understandable stare
No recognizable care
Only God knows who's under that glare
Mind boggling questions
So many suggestions
Do you just take a chance
Or just stand you stance
Can a love dance
Can this just be a lustful trance
Can this be anything
Just friends it might seem
Or just computer blues and a Sunday greeting
Reguardless the circumstances
I pray to God for just one personal meeting.

BY YOUR AOW

#125 I'll be contacting my attorney, as the above poem for Fatass (which I wrote while on a meth binge) already appeared in "Awful Stalker Poetry: Volume III". Also, FYI, Ms. Longoria has already obtained a restraining order which, among other things, prohibits the reprinting of said poem in any context.

how is she skinny but has a snuffleupagiss ass? oddities...

@81 katie, if you read this, check out the Superficial archives December 26, 2005. Yes, I know she is Mexican, that's what makes her such an elitist bitch, IDIOT.

#13 I've noticed this as well.
#14 haha love it!

Hiya

Eva - what an ugly, skinny, no-tits, no-talent bitch she is.

Give me Salma Hayek any day. I'd fuck that bitch until my cock dropped off :)

Morrissey the consumer monkey rules o.k!

she's in good shape. you can tell she must excercise like a dog.. but shes so petite, she looks like a ten year old mexican prostitute with those shoes on. lol

she's just flat out obnoxious, which is her only real fault.

She looks so fidgety. She needs some chill pills. Or MANY more than that.

yeah, old ladies shouldn't be in bikinis