Jun 2 2006Colin Farrell is married

First? I use to think he was hot, now I just think he's icky.

My sources tell me he married a bottle of Bushmills - shotgun - in the Fall of 2003.

well it's about fucking time, superfish people

wtf

I think it's just to convince young girls that he's married,trustworthy and "not going to force them to cover themselves in vaseline, and ride a donkey backwards while he watches and sings the theme song to 'my little pony'"... because he's really not going to do that... really.

He looks kind of like Jim Carrey in that picture--a manwhorish, chain-smoking, foul-mouthed version, that is.

That or Guy Smiley from Sesame Street.

that's no ring, he just didn't wash his hands after handplowing the fatty on the right

Uhhh, from the looks of the girls in that picture, he ain't married.
That or else he won't be wearing his pants or that ring for very long.

#1 - Took the words right out of my mouth.

ooh ooh i am 6th!!!

I hope he makes another sex tape with his wife.

damn it..make that 8th..

he looks more like the Desparate Housewives gardener here

wait....handplow, gardener...i'm sensing a theme

#7 Looking at those girls' pictures, you can tell they're both in MENSA.

They finally feed us and THIS is what we get?!

He's so grosso that I think I need a shower now - not including the fact that I didn't take one this morning.

I'D HIT IT!! ohhhhhhhhh COLIN

The chick in the dark shirt appears to be pressing her tits against him in hopes of him pressing his cock into her vagina.

Hmm... slow gossip day, I suppose.

the look on Colin's face is "Fuck, I am married. I can't bang these two girls in the arse and make them blow me like my dick is the blarney stone.

#10 he does NOT look like the gardener from DH (jesse metcalfe) here. jesse metcalfe is a beautiful, beautiful man. colin farrell is chlamydia in human form.

also, i think he's wearing the ring because it goes with the outfit, which makes him look like a responsible adult, kind of. not really. i don't believe it for a second. i think he's trying on marriage to see what it looks like, and failing to realize that marriage means you're not supposed to pick up bimbos outside of bars.

The girls are hot but holy eyebrows Batman!

I liked Colin on SNL, his Bono impression was fuckin' hysterical!

I wonder what he smells like? I bet someone on here knows.

He looks like my dad's tax accountant.

#12 - If by that you mean Meaty, Eager, Nubile Sex Addicts, I can totally see that.

#15 - It looks kinda like how Joe Simpson hugs Jessica. Or tries to.

...dressed like that???....looks like he's taking the hobags to swing by and pick up K-Fart for a double date on the town!

Looks like somebody's sharing a stylist...

18, another difference: jesse metcalfe is totally gay, so unless you sport cock, keep dreaming

#21 He smells like the plastic teeth the dentist uses to show you what happens in your mouth when you're not looking.

I once asked Colin Farrell for a ring and he put one around my eye.

i once asked Colin Farrell for a ring and he gave me ringworm, which is just not the same

#25 JESSE METCALFE IS NOT GAY! TAKE THAT BACK!

I once asked Colin Farrell for his number and he threw a phone at my head.
Then he made #2 on my face.
True story.

Wait, that might've been Russell Crowe.
I get them confused.

I once asked Colin for a ring and he slipped off his cockring and threw it in my martini.

great tits on the dark haired whore

I once asked Colin Farrell for a ring, and he put an onion ring in my g-string, slapped my ass, and told the DJ to play "Shout at the Devil" again. I think we should stop serving fried snacks at the Pink Pony.

# 21 - I bet he smells just like me frosted lucky charms. If the leprechaun on the box smoked Marlboros and drank Jamison all day that is...

hmmfph! Colin Farrell gave me a ring....around my bathtub! flithy, slimy bloke!

the thing on his finger is fungus....or Irish gold...turns green as it ages...which is a couple weeks....give or take a day or two.....

# 35 No, Colin smells like his frosted lucky charms-- In otherwords, like the combined vaginal secretions of those two tartlets in the photo with him.

I once asked Colin for a ring, and he gave it to me......Then I kicked his ass and called him a faggot.......true story

Did he lose his chunky weight yet?

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

Colin married, no way. He's wearing that wedding band to attract even more girls. You know how the dirty ones are, they love a married man with money! Even if he is a man whore.

Those girls look waaaay too happy, considering they've probably contracted multiple STD's.

21: Unsurprisingly, he smells like beer and cigarettes. They filmed some of his scenes from Daredevil at a bar in Santa Monica, and he'd hang out there periodically. Nice enough guy, utbya otnay ootay ightbray, though.

er, utbay. Love trying to type with a wrist brace on.

I asked him for a ring, and he gave me The Ring Two, which wasn't nearly as good as the first.

#36, nice job.

I asked Colin Farrell to stop fucking my sister because I knew he had the AIDS, and he hit me over the head with a bottle of Jameson, which by proxy caused my ears to ring.

Fresh story, fresh jokes...enthusiastic applause!

@44: It's hard to type with one hand in your pants.

I think Colin Farrell is married to the mob, and of course I mean the mob of sluts that follows him around wherever he goes leaving a trail of cooze like some big, sweaty, whore-slug.

I asked him for a ring, and he gave me the burnin' ring of fire.

He makes my skin crawl. I cannot imagine ANYONE wanting to fuck him. He's probably got diseases they haven't even discovered. Has he fucked Parasite Hilton yet? I hope not, if those two started bumpin uglies, God only knows what new super-STD would arise....scary!

It's hard to type when my hand is down pinky_nip's pants.

It's hard to type when my face is buried in krisdylee's snatch.

It's hard to type when I'm stabbing the the chick on the cover of a copy of Cosmopolitan with a chef's knife screaming, "I'll give you a fuckin' two-hour orgasm you filthy cunt!"

I asked Colin for a ring and dissappeared then returned, wheeling in a chalkboard with formulas written all over it.

"Oh Colin, I forgot to mention I was thinking of a June wedding with- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"

He pointed to the forumulas with a piece of chalk and said:

"This is a set of mathematical elements that is closed under two binary operations of which the first forms a commutative group with the set and the second is associative over the set and is distributive with respect to the first operation... You know, a RING."

Ahhh, guess you had to be there.

Gee, he sure looks uncomfortable in that picture. Maybe he was finally forced to watch "Alexander". I know that's the expression I had on my face after (and during) seeing that stinkbomb of a movie.

Um... anyone here ever seen the alleged Misses, Lake Bell?

http://www.citycosmetics.com/celebrities/lakebell.html

Yikes!

I asked Colin for a ring. He got up and ran outta the room then returned- wheeling in a school chalkboard.

"Oh Colin, I forgot to mention I was thinking of a June wedding with-
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"

He pointed to the forumulas written all over the board & said:

"This is a set of mathematical elements that is closed under two binary operations of which the first forms a commutative group with the set and the second is associative over the set and is distributive with respect to the first operation... You know, a RING."

I just rolled my eyes and laughed:

"Ahh Colin! Ya crazy clovered Faggot! What is mama gonna do with you?! AHHAHAHA!"

-----------------------------------------
Much better:)

I asked him for a ring and he gave me a rim job- I guess I don't speak Irish

That isn't a wedding ring, it's a ring of scabs and dirt from his night with Lindsey Lohan, no matter how hard he scrubs it just won't come off.

Wait a minute. Isn't Colin like 5'5. Either he's wearing shoe-lifts or I rushed my judgement of dwarf porno.

The girl on th eleft is actually Nadine, from "Girls Aloud" an Irish girl-band.

It's hard to type with the weight of guilt from being so cruel to Feed_Me_Chocolate bearing down on me so heavily.
Oh, wait. No it's not.

Colin Ferril is f$$k#$ing great. I mean, he's the $%#$ %$#%#$ of the ##$%#$ town called Hollywood. If he ever was the #(#$ quit, I think that $%^# millions of people would say, "$#% #$%^$%$^ that $#%$#%$. And put a @#$%$@@ there, too."

#64... I know the feeling.

did summer school for special ed kids let out early today??

IT"S A TATOO. When he married Amelia Warner he had this done on his wring finger instead of a traditional band.

He looks like he smells minimally better than Pete Doherty.

#67... Did special ed classes teach you how to capitalize the beginning of a sentence yet?

61: Taller than 5'5". Maybe 5'10" or so. Irish dude, but he drinks Corona. Interesting selection, I guess.

I'd strip off his rank little boxer shorts and chew on him until he squeals like a piggy...

Uhh, I see a big white ring around his hand...why are they talking about a ring on his finger?

I think I got herpes just from reading this blurb.

74

Try Windex, it's de rigeur with the celebs.

He is soooo fuckin' hot...big schlong too...I saw his filthy little sex tape...I don't know about y'all, but I would crawl a mile over broken glass to eat the corn out of his shit...he 'da bomb!!

Representative Chazz "Buster" Hyman (D-Mass) seen posing with two interns outside a Las Vegas convention center. A spokesman for Rep. Hyman vociferously denied any allegations of wrongdoing, and stated that Rep. Hyman had been inaccurately quoted, actually stating that the two interns were the "best ASSETS" he'd ever had in his office.

Finally a break from these cum-slurping, coke sniffing, leg speading, herpes infected overpaid sluts walking around in $20,000 gowns looking like starving Cambodian whores...jeez, Colin is HOT HOT - I'd slide naked down a 50-foot razor blade into a vat of iodine just for the chance to DO him...anyone who doesn't like him is a Communist...so there...

Um, I had a beer with him...you could do me and it would be sorta like screwing him by proxy!

79
Hmm...I may consider it - how big is your, "ahem" equipment and can you swear like a dirty Irishman and make me feel cheap?? Also, you would have to stop bathing for about a week -

"Oy, Calin, yer nothon' but a fockin' derty, fockin' Oyrishman, ya know.."

Who is he?

*waiting for Fa's response to #80*

81
Heehee... love that.

Ahm pahrt Oirish fa' fook's sake! Diul mo bhad, Striapach!

As for me Shillelagh, not exactly sure how big. Got a hard on once, but all the blood rushed from my head, and I passed out.

@80 I have a friend who looks just like him, he'd be happy to oblige.

83

don't be catty...

87
*purr*

hahaha...

Sure, Colin Farrell a slut and an alcoholic, and he has no reasonable hope of remaining married to Lake Bell. That said, he is my new god.

http://www.heavenlycelebrities.com/Pics/lake_bell/index.htm

#42...you hit the nail on the head..I went to grammar school with the girl on the right, Jacky, in new jersey. She posted this pic on her myspace account a few weeks ago. She's always been a a whore...here's a link to her lovely myspave page with the pics of colin and some more of her that more than show that she is not the girl she describes in her little blurb on the first page...

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=33910045

It scares me when Colin tries to clean up - a la Guy Smiley as you said,Feed me.
It's creepy like Federline in a suit...because you know he is as dirty as they come, but looks slightly hot..

Colin, " so i might not call you tommorow cus i have a girlfriend"
Girl: " but we just got marrried last night"
Colin: "fuck Rivers going to kill me"
Girl: " isnt her name Lake"
Colin: "Fuck"

Colin Farrel is a man whore, a wedding band will not change anything...he is a bad boy, I wouldn't mind bringing out the whips and chains with him...hmmm....

92. - perfect caption!

94. - Thank i love your comments too they always make me laugh

Till AIDS inflicted death do them part.

colin is one of the hottest men on this planet. i dont care how many chicks hes slept with, i would do dirt dirty things to that man. and hes got an amazing accent. yum

#56
pete
knew you would be
here
somewhere

lol dude :)

It seems that not too many people care about Colin, I guess he's a legend in his own mind.

99 red balloons
yes that must be it
con con con con

He's so freaking nasty. I put him & that homewrecking bitch Angelina Jolie in the same category: probably great in bed, but there isn't enough water in the world to feel clean after you slept w/ either of them. Not enough penicillin either to cure all the diseases their infested crotches would pass on.