Jun 29 2006Britney Spears poses nude in Bazaar

just so horrible she s a whale

FIRST!

Not first :(

Nice placement of the thumb. Leave it to her to fuck up any "good" photo of her.

I wonder how many air-brushes they broke trying to cover up her rotting flesh.

Some ladies in my office put that picture next to the picture from her on the Today show a while ago and all of them said you could tell the pic had been stretched and airbrushed because her neck wasn't wrinkling from the fat and her arms were like half the size. Nice to know all that NASA imagine technology the U.S. has developed is being put to good use.

Nice damage control, Brit. Desperation is not pretty. Did you really think you were going to get some respect by doing this?

Why don't you fire your publicist, then drop 160 pounds of dead flesh by divorcing your husband, that would be a respectable start.....

Does anyone think she looks a little like katie holmes-cruise in the face now with the dark hair?

Nice fake tan, too. Did any of you see the picture of her in the black dress, holding SP? YEAH RIGHT. Her butt and thighs were WAY too thin to be her. I would be embarassed if I was her, that they had to severely alter the pics to make them presentable.

There is no way in the world her skin is that good - she smokes, doesn't take care of herself and eats crap food the whole time. Thats so fake! Do magazines think we are really gonna buy that that's real? I can't believe she's done that after the whole crying and 'i wish everyone would leave me alone' crap she did the other day.

It's perfect she's on the cover of a magazine called "Bazaar". Next week, she'll be featured in "Just Weird", then she'll give a candid interview to "No Fucking Way" and "Nekkid Hillbilly".

This is actually the best outfit I've seen on her in sometime. It does remind me of one of those pervy prego porn sites... I have issues.

@11 My thoughts exactly
Will she ever think before she acts? Ever?

For real #10! Christ she is an imbecile. "I'm gunna park my naked fat ass on a magazine cover, but please -- give me the privacy I so desperately need!"

I think I'm beginning to think all hope is lost for her. Yeah um...just beginning to think that ;)

Harper's Bazaar...wouldn't she feel more comfortable sprawled out on the cover of Appalachian Preggers Monthly?...it could be a cover story followed by a step by step, do it yourself home guide to sewin' up your baby hole

I had a harpoon with her name on it, but Sea World told me they would sue me if I shot their prize Whale...........

Next Britney will pose for a centerfold spread.

The thing is, she doesn't know it's for Guns & Ammo Magazine, and it'll be offered as target practice.

Just because we're always making fun of Britney's clothes doesn't mean we want to see her naked. Britney could use both a stylist and a heaping dose of dignity.

http://glossedover.com

I read on imdb that her hair was so ugly after she hacked it off and dyed it black that the bazaar people had to put in some extensions just to make her hair look presentable. I am so in love with the downfall of britney, does that make me evil?

supercomputer one:
MALFUNCTION...MALFUNCTION....syntax error line 19776 > cannot remove country bumpkin qualities SYSTEM OVERLOAD

supercomputer two:
MALFUNCTION...MALFUNCTION....syntax error line 25776 > cannot remove enough fat to make her feel beautiful SYSTEM OVERLOAD

supercomputer three:
MALFUNCTION...MALFUNCTION....syntax error line 3287021470 > impossible to make pregnant hillbilly sexy, logic error SYSTEM OVERLOAD

That's not her body. Didn't we just see a picture of her in a store last week that was taken from the back and she looked about three times the size of the body in this photo. Not to mention the face is way too thin--with the black hair, Britney looks like Elvis she's so bloated.
The black hair is awful, by the way.
Just as she thought she was doing something cool.....

"Look it this photograph, everytime I do it makes me laugh"........since everyone knows how much I love "Nickelback" already........

After observing her during fly-bys, I believe this is close to what she looks like. She's only 24. The effects of carrying k-fed's spawn are still a good 6-10 yrs away.

her face looks like she's thinking "okay, hurry up and take the photo because i really gotta pee".

does anyone think she looks like lisa marie presley? she needs to lay off the peanut butter and 'nana with bacon sandwiches

She should of waited until she really looked pregnant - like at 8 or nine months. She just looks like chubby white trash. Oh. right. How dumb of me...she IS chubby white trash.

One good thing, though. The black hair does look better than that back of the woods bleach job she was sporting.

Not that you would need to work at an ad agency to notice it, but I do and it is the most obvious airbrush job I've ever seen. I know, I know...preaching to the choir.

don't doctors say that it might not be healthy for the fetus to dye your hair during pregnancy?

Call me a loopy pre-vert, but this picture conjures up images of K-Fed grunting and bumping and depositing his seed inside Britney. And that gets me hot! But I just got out of jail for promoting videos of mentally retarded people fumbling with each others' groins while yelling retard at each other and trying to escape captivity. It's a funny thing that if you tell a one of them something's a "cookie", they'll always put it straight into their mouth. It's especially funny because when they find out whatever they put in there isn't a cookie, they cry and start pleading with whatever god it is retards worship. Anyway, naked pregnant Britney is just as hot, in my book, as pictures of the Crying Retard Genital Cookie Fake.

That expression on her face reminds me of that middle brady bunch girl - the one that wanted to be just like her older sister but never will be pretty or popular enough. oh the comparisons are endless, but i bet she was thinking 'it worked for Demi..' She's so tryhard i feel bad for her.

Oh, Im sorry you're not first, Camusa. That sucks.

29--! Don't know whether to laugh or cry or call a priest.

I think it's funny that the cover says, "Nothing to wear?" right next to her.

Old news, Old Sport. Not only has this been on other gossip sites for days, but they have other photos from the shoot, equally airbrushed

Brit's been on a downward spiral beginning with her marriage to Jason Alexander - or more accurately she's been showing her real self: That abortion of a reality show, the rocky marriage, her incompetence as a mother, the Dateline interview (sure, Sweetheart, you do your own cleaning), and now this. It's going be interesting to see what happens when she finally bottoms out.

Best case for us is she's going to just drop out sight, kind of like Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, Cindi Lauper, etc. Best case for her is she's going to end up in Branson, Missouri, doing two shows a day (three on the weekend) for a bunch of dull-eyed, slack-jawed yokels, gaping at her in dim admiration. "Ah'm so proud y'all came to mah show!! We put the 'cunt' in 'Country', and.....dadburnit, ah spit mah jumpsuit again....Kay-vin! put down that needle and spoon and get a needle and thread. Mama needs some stitchin'. And bring me a nanner and peanut butter sandwich. Thank you, thank you very much."

I feel sorry for that stool she's sitting on, I know it's not an animate object, but still it's an object...

Now we know why the HAL 9000 went crazy. He was told to make Britney look good.

demi moore.. hmm might explain brit's new balck hair.

"I’m very, very blessed. But my safety, my privacy, and my respect are three things that I feel like are trying to be taken away from me right now. As a mother I have to speak up and say something. I have to speak up."

And show a little tit, too, apparently--a truly effective way to get the paparazzi to leave you alone.

BLLLLLAAAAAAHHHHHH!
(5 sec's later)
BLLLLLLAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Damn...I don't remember having corn last night!

Black hair..?

That ain't Britney! It's Bizarro Britney!

... wait. Maybe not. She's missing the handlebar moustache and / or eyepatch.

Thank god for the airbrush!

ok, u people know that all magazine covers and photos get retouched, not just britney's...

and why's everyone always talking shit about britney?
she's 5'5'' and 6 months pregnant ofcourse she's gonna look like a whale.

You know, Jodie Marsh has a "nipple belt" Britney could borrow that could keep her from having to clutch her bosoms like that.

http://www.spankcheeks.blogspot.com/

LoneWolf–

nice work
you said "nanner"

people talk shit on britney because she's an easy target. and quite a wide target, at that.

Well, at least she looks better here then she did in the photos she posed for with Preston in the belly.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

Where is Scott Peterson when you need him?

Forget the hosebeast -- that is some shitty typography right there!

Tits are supposed to be fun bags, not punching bags.

oh my,
i dont know what to say....
all i think is het poopoochesse thighs look really fat on tv when she was talking to that guy on like abc or something and now she looks like ok. this is what i hate about hollywood makes you know so many people just hate them self because they dont look like celebrities but then again its all an optical illusion from airbrush.

Next cry for attention: The Spederline sex tape.

here is the real cover story....

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2006/6/29/91044/7085

I know we are all "superficial" in our own way. And, most everyone has hysterical comments. But PapaHotNuts reference to Scott killing his wife and unborn child just isn't cool.

#47 Unfairly railroaded by a liberal court system which failed to recognize that, back in the day, killing your pregnant wife and throwing her over the side of a boat was practically the norm. It was called "domestic harmony". Anybody whose name is actually "Laci" deserves to occupy the deepest circle of Hell along with Hitler, the Wiggles, Terri Schaivo, and the guy who came up with the concept of having cash bars at weddings.

Bullshit, she's not pregnant. That's just her beer gut hanging out. Hah, and we thought someone would ever want to impregnate tubby again.

50 - Note to self: You don't have to type every word you're thinking. Like, got it?
But also thinking before typing is cool too.

She looks so proud. And the timing. Coincident to Christina releasing her new single? I don't think so. Sadly that is how Britney is going to compete these days. While Christina comes out with a new album, Mandy and Jessica do movies, she plops her fat ass on the cover of a magazine. I like to imagine Cartman licking her Matt Lauer-induced tears, all the while cooing how sweet they taste. She should change her name to Shamu and be done with it.

58th!

I guess she will do anything for attention...so much for wanting the press to leave her alone...she looks like the Wicked Witch of the West with that hair...not for her at all.

@53
It's a shame Scott didn't date your mother while pregnant with you.

@54
I agree with everything except what you said about Terri Schiavo. I always thought her blank stare and slight drool were meant for me. When they removed her feeding tube, a piece of my heart starved to death along with her.

Huh? This is NOT Britney. Her body looks like it's constructed from flesh coloured balloons.

What is that thing around her neck? Cowbells on a string?

Wow.

Photoshop is amazing.

They can make a pregnant wildebeast look like a washed up pop star.

WHERE IS HER RIGHT NIPPLE???

http://papahotnuts.youaremighty.com/

Turn your volume up

She's got a swayback, like those horses on carousels outside department stores. I like the way she apparently is crossing her legs demurely, while sitting stark naked letting people snap pictures of her for a nationally circulated magazine cover. That screams privacy. It's so fucking cool when chicks look all like...."don't look at my vagina when I'm holding my hooters in my hands!" It's even better when they say they don't hide wiggers in their basements. God, I love a skank!

Papa, you could have just sent me my e-card to my yahoo, you didn't have to post it here.

Cool though! when is your site gonna launch?

She has officially JUMPED THE SHARK!!! Speaking of sharks, she looks like shit with "sharpie marker black" hair. ok so nothing to do with sharks, but a lot to do with looking like shit.

PapaHotNuts, I think I love you.

Now, we all know this isn't for real right? Because if it was, the cover would have to fold out to fit her REAL body. And not because of the pregnancy either.

Not a big fan of Britney, and I think K Fed is an absolute douche bag, but this whole thing has made me think of something ...

Would everyone (ok, just all the dudes posting on here) feel the same way, if you were the one that injected her with your baby batter? (both this time and before with Sean P) I think I'd buy myself a trophy or something.

Just something to think about .........

"I’m very, very blessed. But my safety, my privacy, and my respect are three things that I feel like are trying to be taken away from me right now. As a mother I have to speak up and say something. I have to speak up."
--What a load of crap, her interview should have come with small print on the bottom of the screen something like: "comments here not meant to be taken seriously" I mean who is she kidding? How desperate will she become? I mean she should have checked the definitions of the words: 'respect,' and 'privacy' before she added them to her prepared speech and those tears are oscar worthy. Bravo Britney...Bravo!!

she should stop trying to look as cute as demi did when she did the shoot back in the day. if only airbrushing worked in realife so she could get rid of her 389483 pounds of fat and cellulite all jumbled under her little peasant blouse which she looks absolutley ridiculous in. and please someone her second child a carseat; it apparantley got lost in shipping with sean preston.

It's like Shaun Cassidy and Joan Jett had a baby together....a really really fat baby from a trailer park in the deep south, only the baby didn't get any talent DNA from the parents.

Oh, it's photoshopped! Oh, it's airbrushed! Oh stfu tards. All pro photos are fixed. Alllllll of em! Gowd, it's like reading jr. high school kids. Piss the fuck off. She looks good airbrushed or not. So, she's not a "genius" like you twatholes.....pffffft.

but what's the point posing nude and pregnant if you're not truly proud of your pregnant body? I wasn't "proud" of my big fat body when I was pregnant....I didn't even want to see myself naked when I was expecting, let alone the whole world, but if you're gonna do it, don't computer generate yourself down to a size 4 but with with a belly and expect people to be blown away by how "great" you look. She could keep her clothes on and have her picture digitally improved. The point of going au naturel when you're knocked up is to do just that.

#59 I agree, she was America's Sweetheart for a time, the little cock tease. But I'm afraid the Bible still insists that women like her who give up the will to live, flouting God's most sacred gift, wind up in Hell with unbaptized minority babies and talking animals from television programs.

75
Quit passing gas in public.

487 best new ideas....

and one bad, bad, bad one....wait, she married k-fed - that's now two .... and had a kid..... that's three..... ruined her body..... up to four now.......

sigh. too easy

The inevitable fall of Britney Spears. One can only hope she goes out Dana Plato style. Another dumb bimbo who "just had to have a child." When will these morons learn, career before family!

I've been trying to use this picture instead of my normal "rhythm magazines" to empty my filthy wang with but i'll i get cuming out is blood...is this normal????

the picture looks good

yeah 72 i agree. you sob about wanting your privacy, yet you make a TV show about you and your husbands very very personal life and put it up on UPN for the world to see.

you do a cheezy photospread in some stupid tabloid you just called "trash" on your matt lauer interview

you post naked with your child on the cover of a magazine.

if that doesnt SCREAM leave me alone then i dont know what does! she is such a hippocrite. she doesnt want to be left alone, this is exactly what she wants. she may be way smarter than anybody thought. bitch. i dont feel bad for her in the least bit.

nice tits

#83
"she may be way smarter than anybody thought"

no...that's not it
...she likes to imagine
...but we have her number
...and it is the n8umber of the beas...

well you know the rest...

lol bitch, good try

so...

down on your knees
tonight
i
think

...enjoy :)

#40- I thinks its definitly "baazar-o" Britney, the one who is the exact oppposite of the one who was being interview with Matt Lauer.
It has to be, because even a backwater, cheeto-inhaling, hillbilly like Britney knows that the road to "having your privacy" is not getting buck naked on a magazine cover!!
I don't think she is even REALLY pregnant, she just needed an excuse for being such a fat fat fatty. In three (maybe 5, maybe 9)months they will welcome baby "Suri2 tomkatcruise Federline" and we will never see or hear of the kid again... She couldn't even remember how "pregnant" she was on that interview. I smell a rat people, something is rotten in Denver. Oh wait, that is just Britneys vag.

...and don't even get me started on the airbrushing.
Yes, I know that every photo shoot is touched up, but this thing has had an extreme photo makeover.
I guess it wasn't enough for her to ruin the self esteem of a million teeny boppers in her "hot" days, she has to do her best to one-up every pregnant woman.
Hey if the swollen ankles, aching back and strechmarks don't make you wanna jump off a bridge, heres a pic of a big sloppy pig looking way better than you, enjoy!
I hope they all gang up and eat her.
Attention all pregnant woman!!! Britney's skin tastes just like cheetos and butter-and go!

So not Demi. That girl's ridiculous.

I heard that Brit's label is dumping her so Brit and K-Fed are going to do an all-nude family act in Vegas. K-fed will take a dump on the baby which will be licked off my Brit. Brit will then put on a strap-on and nail K-Fed in the ass while he throws up on the audience. The audience will be invited to fling sperm at Brit while she pees on the floor. The K-Fed will throw the baby down the stage, using the urine as a slip-and-slide. For a finally, Brit will give birth to an alien baby and K-Fed will eat the afterbirth. They will call it, "THE ARISTOCRATS!"

83
The correct spelling is "hypocrite", but in this case, I think "hippocrite" works just as well.
HA HA HA

Word, #76 jrzmommy. Yes, we're all adults, so no need to point out that it's retouched, but your point is well taken. It is so easy to alter photos now in such a way that only professionals can tell, most magazine pics (and certainly the covers) should have to be accompanied by a legal disclaimer. Britney's on the cover in all her preggo glory and we are clearly expected to ooh and ahh, otherwise, why do it? While I'm bitching, could we please have no more stories about how rich, famous women "manage" to have a career and kids too?

How Britney's publicist/s must hate her. If he/she/they hasn't quit already. Only time (lots and lots of time) will be able to erase that disastrous Matt Lauer interview. The cover of Bazaar ain't gonna do it. But at least we can't see her gum. And someone brushed her hair. Maybe there's hope for her...

#75

u said twathole....he he (giggling like a jr higher). i dare u to touch her boob.

i just dont like her black hair.

yeah, wtf, I would still bang her. And all you fucks would too. You know why? Because like me, you probably can't get any ass, because you are sitting in your crusty cum-stained computer chair, looking at this site. Come on, let's not try to make ourselves look better than we are. If we had lives, we wouldn't comment on the superficial. You know it's true. You know it is.

at least i can take comfort in someone being fatter than me.

I wish it was K-Fed naked, with his thumbs strategically(?)placed to hide his naughty bits.

#94
To quote Martha Stewart-
That's why I'm here: not to sink to your level, but to raise you to mine.

I can't believe she has jet black hair and blonde eyebrows. Does she know how fucked up that looks?

#96, perish the thought! A naked k-fed would scar my retinas forever.

PapaHotNuts:
#11 Hilarious, laughed out loud! :-D
#47 mmmm...not so much. :-(

Even with a pro photographer, proper lightning, airbrush AND photoshop, they couldn't even correct than "one-sided" farmer smile ... Please, Brit, go get dressed.

I found a full layout here if anyone hasn't seen all the pics

http://starked.com/archives/late-breaking-naked-britney-on-cover-of-harpers-bazaar/

Britney Spears is so ugly now, Thats so not her. LOL.

Man, I'm sorry, but I think she's so fucking hot. I don't know what it is, but there's just something about her. She must just be my "type." I'd eat that ass for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

103. Did someone give lame 'naners a fucking sex change, hormone therapy, and a lobotomy, ... and change its name to illflux?

Just wondering, ...

Britney is a heifer, the pregnant but trim and toned bitch in the photos is ~not~ Britney.

AAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

All that photoshopping and she still looks ugly. *sigh*

98--CAN'T believe I missed the eyebrows!

It is evident that someone over at Harper's had the biggest brain fart known in fashion history. Considering the fashion industry, that's saying a lot. I've said it before and I'll say it again - you can't pass off a can of Spam as pate!

89 - That was one of the most immaturely hysterical comments I've ever seen on this page. You made me laugh until I almost cried. I especially liked the slip and slide idea. Thanks for the laugh!!! :)

I actually think she looks really good in these pics. People need to leave her alone, if she feels like going out in sweats, or whatever let her. She knows when to dress up and when to just kick back.

My plesaure YouWannaBMe

She has the strangest expression on her face.

Whatever.

I do know that she has none of Demi Moore's serene, contented womanly beauty and I *still* think Moore's posing was a cheap stunt.

@108
I know why you didnt notice her eyebrows, it's because no one wants to actually look at her naked body long enough to realize that her eyebrows are still blonde.

I knew she was some kind of inbred mutant and the whole having no nipples thing just proves me right.

86., no no, I believe Britney is pregnant. She's the sort of obscenely fertile trash who drops a trail of babies behind her.

No, I think she had a diff reason for fudging around with the due date. Think about it! Why have people been fudging with due dates for ages? To hide that said baby was conceived at a different time. I betcha she got pregnant by somebody else. (Remember, she's as much of a slut as Kevin)

116- very good point, I bet it was the manny!

OH MY GOD!! how is she aloud to procreate in the first place.
she looks like an ugly pregnant boy. bizzare is right!

IMO Britney Spears has never been attractive, she has some ugly looking eyes. But WTF? on dateline last week she was a fat spotty, ugly transexual and this week she is trim and glowing. Of course her dumb fans won't see it, they never do.
And what a hypocrite she is, crying about how she wants her privacy, and then doing this? She is holding her son in one of the pics. She is whoring her own kid out, she's disgusting inside and out.

#64- I bow to you! Hilarious.

119, you hate seeing famous celebrities posing with their children for professional pictures? How do you even visit here, let alone read, like US Weekly? Offhand I can't think of a celebrity couple other than TomKat and their alien baby who haven't released/sold one picture.

Photoshop creators must be thrielled! Such a publicity! I'm gonna download Photoshop *right now*!

Keep doing it right. Blame the press, then go walking around like white trash and posing naked for magazines with a body thats away from the common pregnant woman let alone YOUR own :-/

Sorry.. i meant thrilled :P

for some reason everytime celebrities go from light to dark hair, they make it as black as can be, none of them have ever tried like burgundy, or dark with lighter streaks or something. why do they always have to make it so black that they look pale

I'm glad all you nobodies get a little comfort in knowing that someone who was once a 1000 times hotter and more famous than any of you are or ever will be is fat. losers, get a life and stop making immature, snarky little comments on hers to make yourself feel better. "shes so fat, she's a whale!" stfu, one day you will be fat, ugly, wrinkled and saggy and probably die alone cuz you're such a BITCH.

get real! she looks gorgeous in this pic, airbrushed or not, saying otherwise makes you an ugly jealous troll. btw, stop tearing her apart-- its not like YOU don't have bad pictures or "ugly" days, so stop jumping at the chance to tear apart someone else! it pisses me off that everyone rags on Brit. at least when she was in her fitter days she was a good fitness role model for young women, instead of the emaciated junkie whores who are so popular these days. am I right or am I right, you superficial, small minded fools.

Aaaaaw @126, you're so cute! I likee you.

Wow I think she looks beautiful,I can't believe others are saying otherwise.

126- an ugly day is alot different than an ugly "few years and going strong". Judging from the pic on your little blog something tells me that you might know a thing or two about that. Or maybe an ugly lifetime??
I am SO sick of these little bleeding heart assfuckers!!
How astute of you to call everyone here superficial, I mean they should really name this whole site "The Superficial"- oh wait!
atomikblonde88, last time I checked this was a gossip site that rags on celebrities. Why do you come here? Have you ever read any of the articles? Laughed at any of them? If so that makes you a total hyprocrite. If not, then you are clearly lost and theiheartbritneyclub.com is
----------------------------------->
thataway.
Hopefully you find your sense of humour there. Douchebag.

obviously YOU'RE the douchebag here. whatever the fuck you say little bitch. try removing that giant dildo up your ass cuz its making you one mean, stupid (and clearly blind, if you're trying to tell me I'M ugly) son of a bitch.

No luck finding that sense of humour hey? Oh well I doubt you would even know how to use it.
If you don't want people to comment on your looks, you probably shouldn't put them on display. Just because you don't like what you hear doesn't mean my opinion is wrong. I personally think your nasty. But that's just my opinion and people are allowed to express their own opinions and disagree with me. But don't turn around and call me a small minded fool for expressing mine. Especially when you sound like you have an IQ of about 78 TOPS. What was your argument there? I know bad words? Basically all I can gather from your rambling is that you don't like people who don't like Britney Spears, and who think your ugly. Man, your life must be tough.

trust me, I'm not that worried about your opinions.

132- Yeah, it sounds like it.
Then I guess it won't bother you to know that I also think you are pretty nasty. What is with the bobble head impression? Nice gunt, ginger. Before you fire back that I am a jealous, ugly troll remember two things:
a)Plucking your eyebrows would be time better spent
b)I am smokin hot
But you will never get to know that for sure because I am not an attention whore who posts my pictures for total strangers to see.

haha, yeah ok whatever

So smug for someone who is no longer linking her site. All of a sudden. Weird.

there she goes again

there she goes again

there she goes again