Jun 6 2006Brandon Davis' grandma is a dirty liar

This kid always looks so bummed. Must be tough being a fire-crotch.

The sad thing is, she couldn't even land him most likely. I mean the guy may be a tool but he used to date Mischa Barton who, although I hate her is many times hotter than Lindsey (Anybody know what this rash is?) Lohan

lmao I love that the rebuttal to this is that Lohan is sleeping with too many other guys for this to be true... good one Lohan good one.

I'm just trying to imagine what Kenny G's birthday party is like. I bet he had the awesomest cowboy clowns.

Hohan is an ugly, no-talent, disease-ridden tramp.
IOn other words, the perfect girl for a scumbag like Brandon Davis. They just belong together.

I'm trying to recall what Hohan ever did that propelled her into such stardom and high celebrity status.
Herbie Reloaded? That video where she's dressed as a princess and rolls around on the floor crying? Help me out, folks.

Linsday Lohan's Vagina: The World Tour

"Lindsay is dating several men who live overseas."

Yeah, that kinda is a weird thing to say...

Just...

Yeah. Weird.

@8: That's because overseas "firecrotch" means something positive.

Besides, the filthy Europeans will fuck anything.

#6 "I'm trying to recall what Hohan ever did that propelled her into such stardom and high celebrity status."

The only place she is a "star" or "celebrity" is on celebrity gossip sites such as this (as well as tabloids & tabTV). No one else knows who the fuck she is.

Or, frankly, cares.

MUST we be forced to look at Jack Black's pastey-smoothe torso in the ads here, btw?

I mean, come on!

#4 - You should come with a warning!! I just read that didn't really laugh out loud but GUFFAWED. And that ain't sexy. Then again, there is nothing in Framingham that really is.

when i get to be old as shit, i'm gonna spread all KINDS of rumors. that's an awesome grandma!

Shit, let his kooky old grandma think that. She IS the one with the money right? Tell her you married him. It might get you into the will.

Kenny G's b-day party? WTF?

I've heard Arab guys like anal. That's our Lindsay

#11 - I don't see Jack, but that Cheyenne girl freaks me out. She looks like a cross between the girl from The Ring and Jewel.

@4: There's a lot of sax going on.

@13
Sounds fun, you can do anything you want and then blame it on alzheimers.

Lindsay's Schedule

Monday- Margaritas in Madrid with Manuel
Tuesday- Tequila in Tehran with Terrorist cell
Wednesday-Whiskey in Warsaw with Wilhelm
Thursday- Throw up all day
Friday- shopping (another thing she does well!)
Saturday- Need a man fix.... Singapore Slings in Soho with Steve
Sunday-Secret visit with Gyno to discuss new symptom!
What a week!

I didn't know we were exporting STD's.

Brandon took Lindsay to dinner, but unfortunately for him, crabs weren't on the menu.

#17
i got wrecked on
singapore slings
in raffles
peanuts on the floor
for those that know :)

Kenny G.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

#12 Why thank you. At least you're not in Lawrence.

Somehow I imagine Brandon Davis' grandmother as some chronically-alcoholic octagenerian, who just got out of another mini rehab stint where she way seeing strawberry cheesecake on the hospital walls for her three days without her Tanqueray. She probably thinks Brandon is still 13, and bursts capilaries in the oily fatback on his face when she locks her withered old claw on it to squeeze his cheeks.

I bet she puked on Kenny G's sax and made him cry, too.

lmao @ the agent...that's kind of like a lawyer saying in court, "My client obviously didn't rob the bank, he was in middle of raping that young woman."

I like how the publicist threw in "overseas" after mentioning Hohan was dating several men, as if it makes her whoring upscale. You are not a whore if you give yourself over and over again to filthy, uncut Europeans, but bang a couple of guys from Jersey and no one returns your calls. Am I the only one that gets the impression that Hohan is such an Uberbitch that not even her handler likes her? Either that or she is a shitty mouthpiece, who issues a statement like that? In a side note, good to see Kenny G has kept his core audience all these years. He's big with the geriatric crowd.

lindsay is my idol

Lindsay's rep needs to get the boot. Bad flack!!! Bad!!!

Poor Granny, keeps tryin to get that boy laid.. she's doin the best she can but when he's been sleeping at the Crab-Hilton and those herpetic sores are oozing even the firecrotch is gonna deny "having dinner" with him.

I'm a very heterosexual male, and between cruise and lohan, I'd go for cruise. Lohan will never surround my willie.

Kenny G??? .. the only person lamer is Macy Gray!!!

They didn't include the entire quote!

"...Lindsay is dating several men who live overseas. Kind caring men like Rocco Siffredi and Nacho Vidal, who always call the next day after an afternoon of sodomy and wearing out the firecrotch."

On a side note, Brandon Davis' grandmother also said he was dating several firecrotches, like Kathy Griffin, but nobody cared.

perez hilton has angelina jolie baby pics superfish....why dont you?!

I only wish Lindsay would let me put her fire crotch out with my tongue ... then use friction to re-ignite the fire-crotch with my big thick 9 1/2 inch fire hose...

Oh - yeah!!! Dreams are made of that...

#9 I live "overseas", and I thought fire crotch just meant she was a natural red head

She needs to date a sandwich.

Don't confuse "several men overseas", with "several men's semen."

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that she's an idiot. The grandma, I mean.

When the UN asked you to be their Goodwill Ambassador, Lindsay, that's not quite what they meant.

Fat face's grandma making up Blowhan stories at Kenny G's birthday party? You SIMPLY cannot make shit like this up people. Only thing missing is a three legged crack smoking monkey.

I fell in to a burning crotch of fire
I went down, down, down
and the flames went higher.
And it burns, burns, burns
the crotch of fire
the crotch of fire.

Dating several men....overseas. Thats interesting, when was the last time she was overseas. Could the publicist just trying to make us think that yesterdays blind item in the NYPost about that starlett who likes to get f-ked by two guys in nightclub bathrooms WASN"T about Ho-han because she is supposedly having anal with several men in the EU?!?! yeah, that will work.

Brandon's grandma runs this big charity event called the Carousel Ball (happening soon) where they get celebrities to design ceramic plates which are then auctioned off. Apparently, after what happened with Lindsay, many of the plates were returned to her with some variation of the word "firecrotch" written on them. Way to go Brandon!

Davis' grandmother wasn't aware he had insulted Lohan, because back in her day a "Firecrotch" was simply two fingers of bathtub gin with a splash of grenadine, a jigger of bay rum, and a pickled onion contaminated with polio, all served by a smiling "colored" in a white suit.

There's a fine line between love and hate...

of course, I couldn't believe he issued her an apology to begin with. Pussy.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

#42

That's “NIGGA in a white suit” to you my dear fellow... or I mean my dear Doctor...

I'm still mystified why we're paying $3 for a gallon of gas when we could just swipe a cotton swab across Brandon's face.
Don't let that guy anywhere near an open flame or the whole thing will go up.

42 - That sounds just like my sweet sixteen. And don't you mind how we keep the help, our Noogie is like family and he's very well-spoken.

45 - Guys with oily faces give the best head.

14 Jacq ....

it's cause Arab guys fuck camels, and Lohan's crotch smells like delicious camel-ass. Plus, she spits a lot when she is double-humped

The tears of Chuck Norris can cure Fire Crotch...Too bad Chuck never cries.

Overheard at Kenny G.'s birthday party...

"Wow! Did you notice that his decorator went with the whole "this looks like the inside of an elevator" theme?"

"Oh look, the ambulance finally took Brandon"s granny away."
"Yeah, what was she screaming about?"
"I don't know exactly. I just heard her yelling, "It's my turn to ride the pink pony! It's my turn to ride the pink pony!"

I think this is true, why else would they deny it so vehemently?

Last night on Letterman Lowhore looked like she was going on 40 with her weathered face and yellowed Marlboro teeth.

This chick is aging rapidly and she seemed at a loss in trying to "connect" with the audience.

Her downward slope is breaking rapidly.

E! news lead in:

"Tom Cruise enjoyed great sax at Kenny G's birthday party last night..."

"Paris Hilton is seeking a release from Johnny Cash's estate to remake Ring of Fire..”

(cue background music)

I fell in to a burning crotch of fire
I went down, down, down
and the flames went higher.
And it burns, burns, burns
the crotch of fire
the crotch of fire.

When reached for comment Paris said, “That’s hot!”

If...okay...when Paris and Hohan bang doughnuts whose STD wins? Does one cancel the other out? Do they mutate into a new strain? I think those are the questions I'm interested in finding the answers to.

hmm, several men overseas, huh! that dirty little minx has one in every port! think of all the diseases her fire crotch must be burning with!
http://celebreligion.com

That would be pretty crazy if she was dating him.

HAHAHAH SEVERAL MEN OVERSEAS! wtf! thats not a good way to clear her name.

Lindsay's redhead tan reminds me of the Quizno's slogan.

Nothing wrong with being a fire crotch. *sob*
Still, several men overseas?

I dislike the discussion moving to her being a fire crotch. That's doesn't mean anything.

The important part is that she's a completely disgusting sick no-talent skanky crack whore, letting any bum's willie inside of her infectious V.

And dating several guys overseas, well, don't tell me you didn't see that one coming. She's not only dating several guys overseas, but also in her neighbourhood, across the street, on the other side of town, in the town not so far away, and in the other state.
Damn, she's fucking anything living that's more than 5" long.

She's so fucking disgusting.

She's dating a few men from Europe??? A FEW MEN? She really is trying to overcum Paris Hilton as the World's #1 Celebrity Skank.

She also gives fire crotches a bad name. They should disown her

59 & 60 - Welcome to the club of Disgruntled Gingers, Redheads, Firecrotches, and Freckle-faces. I myself am the leader of the Dark Red Hue Corp and the Faction of Childhood Freckles that Refuse to Fade.

This the classic case where one lie is always better than two:

"Sorry we're late, our car had a flat...and we were in an accident...we hit an elephant...and it totaled our car...and we didn't even stop for a quickie or anything..."

The translation of:

"...but they are not dating and they did not go to dinner together. Lindsay is dating several men who live overseas."

Is that they're bumping nasties. Yep, she gave him the fire crotch and she's not even dating him.

Her "rep" was quoted as saying:

"How many times does Lindsay have to repeat to you people: SHE'S A VERY BUSY INTERNATIONAL P.R.O.S.T.I.T.U.T.E. with several, repeat, and simultaneous customers. She does not have time for Mr. Davis at the moment."

"She can pencil him in for a Cleveland Steamer on the first week of November."

ok

let me put it another way

what part of

shut the f*ck up

did you not understand ? :)

#65

it's ok we've got paris's
number here somewhere...

This is one of the oddest stories I've seen on here...it's making my brain hurt. There are just too many funny scenarios running through it--most of which involve Kenny G sitting in a circle of drunk grannies; sewing and catching up on the latest gossip. Of course, this is overshadowed by the statement from Lohan's rep, who seemed to go to the Anthony Michael Hall school of lying. You know how in his movies he always says he's dating someone and then tries to cover by saying, "You don't know her. She lives in Canada." This is the same thing, only with a bunch of men in different countries who don't really exist. Oh, and a firecrotch.

Burnin' down! Every now and then a get a little outbreak and you're never comin' round.

Burnin' down! Every now and then I get a little nervous listenin' to the screams of my Gyn!

Burnin' down! Every now and then I get a little bit scabby where thousands of men came before!

Burnin' down! Every now and then I get little bit skeevy when I see the gulf that's between my thighs!

Burnin' down, Val-trex!

#67 Shit, that's soooo true, Weird Science rules all ass, if I remember right Gary later says he dropped her 'cause she was a slut.

67: Wow. And I thought I was the only one who used "dilligaff" here. Nice handle. :)

I love the lifeless expression in that picture. She should be swallowing shotgun in the very near future, I think.

I can't imagine the world that rep lives in where having dinner with a young man is seen as a scurrilous insult, while the statement ''Lindsay is dating several men who live overseas'' is thrown out there as evidence of what a principled girl she is.

She should probably identify the "several men" in question. It will help WHO and CDC trace the epidemiology of the inevitable outbreak a lot faster.

I only wish Lindsay would let me put her fire crotch out with my tongue ... then use friction to re-ignite the fire-crotch with my big thick 9 1/2 inch fire hose...

Oh - yeah!!! Dreams are made of that...

Brandon probably slept with Lohan, and recieved crabs.

That's where the firecrotch thing came up. After all, anyone that carries around STDs without telling their one-night-stand is automatically a firecrotch, aren't they?

why when they say "several men over seas" i somehow don't imagine young, good looking sons of millionaires? mostly i see lindsay on the beach with a bunch of really old,fat hiary men you know, the kind that think people want to see them in speedos with the union jack plastered on thier humongous butts, and wear really tack gold jewelery.

Headline should read "Brandon Davis' Grandma is a Dirty Sanchez".

#61, learn to read. She's not dating "a few men from Europe" as you interpreted it. She's dating "several men who live overseas".

That might be all the males in a tribe of Mongolian shepherd families for all we know.

yeah, 61, europe isn't the only city overseas. there's mongolia, france and uh..madagascar!

78
i heard 61 has blueballs, so he's having trouble concentrating. needs relief.

Perhaps she's taken over Kelly Bundy's old secret identity as a sex toy for the Navy; "several men overseas" could be the entire 7th Fleet, for instance - or perhaps Kitty Hawk just put to sea because they heard that she was coming to "date" them next?

79- did you just say europe is a city...?

I think what happened is that the agent was saying that she was dating 'semen over seas' and the person typing it up added 'veral' and a space, thinking it was a good thing, so instead of the correct quote of '...she's dating semen over seas...', we get, '...she's dating seVERAL men overseas...'.

That's a lot of punctuation for this early in the morning. Sucks.

In tribute to Macy Gray (Grey, what the fuck ever), named as the only person lamer than Kenny G, I give you...

Here is your prescription
Don’t have a conniption
Boy I had your wang,
Your weenie, Johnson, ‘thang’
With spaghetti fork I scratch
My gingery, freckled snatch
The scabs fall off... I’m hopin’
The Valtrex helps my copin’

I tried to not stay high, but I choked
I try to walk okay but I stumble
Though I tried to hide it, it’s clear
That shit showed up on my Pap Smear

#64 Barbado. LOL!!!! Nice one.

So taking a poll here (Not the same kinda way Lindsay takes a pole)

Who will commit suicide first....Lindsay Ho-Han or Tara Reid?

#79. Keep up slack jaw. Europe a city? Are you really that stupid? Sheesh you Americans, too much!

It's a race to the bottom between:

Tara Reid (Plastic Milk Jug Queen)
Lindsay Hohan (Firecrotch)
Brittainy Speared (Baby Dribbler)

Now it's Plastic Milk Jug Queen in the lead at the first turn, but Fire Crotch is blazing a trail behind her, Baby Dribbler seems to be pulling up...yes she's losing her jockey K. Fedex. Wait what's this...at the finish line...Walking STD has them all beat.

84
europe IS a city! i've seen it on tv. are you saying it doesn't exist? we mr. smartypants, it DOES exist. you probably think the world is flat too, don't you?

i'm well-versed in all world cities: new york, LA, chicago, europe, paris, madagascar, mongolia, russia and china. (china's the biggest city of all!)

man! pay attention! and learn some cities, why don't ya!

(btw, i know there are smaller cities like italy and philadelphia, but i'm just listing MAJOR ones here...)

if europe is a city can you tell me what country it is in you dumbass?

not all cities are in countries. consider the vatican. a city, right? but with no country! (how can it be!! it defies all logic! arghhh my head's exploding!!!)

don't get me wrong, europe is an IMPORTANT city. (not as important as say, chicago, but important nonetheless.) i'm sure that if europe suddenly went missing, that thousands of people would definitely notice! (and you can't say that for all cities! go europe!)

-europe fan
:)

too bad there's no soccer team for europe. i bet they could find 10 or 12 really good players. they could call themselves "the EU wildcats"!

GREAT, NOW SHE'S BRINGING HOME EXOTIC STD'S....I GUESS HERPES, SYPHILLIS, ETC... AREN'T AS EXCITING AS THEY USED TO BE.
I HOPE THEY ALL CATCH A FLESH EATING STD ..... IN LINDSAY'S CASE IT'LL PROBABLY TAKE A WHILE TO EAT IT'S WAY UP THAT 7 FT CLIT...

I recently saw a photo of her wearing a t-shirt that read "Rebel". If she was a rebel, she would look healthy and not wear a shirt that lets people know she is one!

Lindsay aka Fire-crotch aka herpes aka syphillis aka genital wart Lohan can't deny her whory conditon

#93 why would you imagine
...that we care ?

life is to be lived
but with s[a]fety
and
a bit of discretion
would['nt]
go
amiss
miss :)

lol babe :)

...and in other news

thanks sandra, gots lots of your work :)
jack black is a funny guy :))
you are a good mu m kate :)
.deosn't alanisette
.have a sort of beauty?
.and great songs :)
kylie, you'll be fine
everyone
lets get together :)

Come on guys, she is not too bad, I like her approximately 1 zillion time better than Miss herpes Hilton. At least she has a bit of talent for acting and I don't believe that she's nasty either. I guess she's insecure about how she looks because she is hanging out/used to hang out with Paris and co, hence the multiple disco coloured hair thing (back into natural red now, thank god!) and the "stop eating cause it's poison" campaign. I also don't believe she's stupid, just clumsy and very naive. If she could get her self sorted out and focus on her acting instead of trying so hard, she'll be fine. Guess someone has to stand up for her cause even that stupid wet Hilton whore has fans.