May 26 2006Victoria Silvstedt might be a slut

Victoria who?

Might be?

I can't stop staring at her tits.

cheezy boob job...trout mouth....typical hobag ------ NEXT!

you can tit-fuck those under-ripe cantalopes!!!

wow thats alot of cleavaggeee

lmao kris

See, I am of the small-breasted bunch, proud that I can find shirts that fit me... but yet, I do wonder what it would be like to have giganto-boobs. It would be fun, just for one day... I'd totally drive around topless.

I *can* stop staring at her fake tits---in fact, I find that dick-trough between them frightening!

Ok so her website features her, ahem ..."resume"
among the highpoints of her "career" are:

*spokesmodel (whatever the fuck that is) for the Ultimate Fighting League.

*spokesmodel " " for Patron Tequila.

that's a quality celeb.

mmmmmmmmmm...bozangas!!!!

She's hawt.

look at the size of these boobies!!!

http://www.playpacman.net

Aha, now I know where those two cantaloupes went that I couldn't find in my grocery bags when I got back from the store last week.

Saying this woman might be slut is kinda like saying that Richard Simmons might be a tad bit fruity.

Whole the hell is she? What's that? Look at her what?

HOLY SHIT! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THOSE MAGUMBOS!!!!!!!!!!

In conclusion... slut deffinatly a slut. But who cares?

Superfish guy I must say I am indeed very dissapointed.

small perky tits beat knee hugging (think Tara Reid) saggy tits any day of the week!

OK, pic #2. Did she have her nipples surgically removed or something? There definitely should be a nip slip there, methinks.

Br-r-r-r-r-r-r-romski!

this woman is frightfully ugly - and the only thing that makes her not "scary ugly" is everything fake about her - long lashes, blonde hair, big boobies... I bet she's Howard Stern under all that almay and anaesthetia..

could her chin be any more pronounced? is she related to Leno? is she really a he ?

that third photo also reminds me of something else... a big-mouthed bass (yeah, @4- maybe trout, maybe bigmouthed bass..some kind of fish... the pole-smoking kind)

holy mother of all that's horny, now that's what I call a "cum receptacle"

Victoria is all for ending AIDS as she is keeping those huge tits covered up....thats dedication!

Satyricon

her boobs might be fake.

Her boobs are real... big.

It could be worse. She could have just wrote "AIDS IS BAD AND STUFF" on her privates with body paint and humped some HIV victim on the red carpet in front of his grandparents, priest, and 9 year old nephew. And then bent over and shown her ass crack to the paparrazzi just as the head of the event came on to make a speech about bravery and courage and all that shit.

In about ten years, when gravity kicks in, she'll look like she has two bowling balls kicking her in the knees.

If look closely into her open mouth in the last photo, you can actually see the little man who is controlling this cartoonish, artificial monstrosity.

IGNORE THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!!

SMASH!!

My first thought was "how is she managing to cover everything up?" but then I realized she definitely isn't. Oh well. Maybe if more women wore dresses like that to AIDS events you'd have more men attending and donating to look all special and rich.

Met her one night up at Falcon on Sunset. Actually fairly nice lady, and damn good looking in person. Looks like she might have had implants since then, though.

17: Ari - I agree, it looks like a nip was airbrushed out or covered over with makeup or something.

That dress looks really, really painful to wear. It's so tight you can see the veins under her boob-skin. OUCH!
On the plus side, she's got nice teeth,though not nice teats.

Fa; I actually met her in Aspen, she IS really nice. But the conversation was stilted, as she just couldn't seem to stop sucking my cock. I was like, "hey, you're famous, lets at least talk" and she kept saying "blgglll.....ughihi...bllllgggg" Why does this always happen when I meet celebrities?

You can see her panties too!!! YEAH BABY!

there's only ONE thing i wanna do to this girl...

fuck it
screw it
poke it
lick it
eat it
and sleep with it

does that count as one...

no

Here's a better picture of the fembot in questions:

http://img480.imageshack.us/img480/8131/884magazinevictoriasilvstedtfh.jpg

So THAT is what you get when you shave a dogs ass and teach it to walk backwards.

Those are some butt ugly tatas.

*in question*

I'd hit it!!!

Her boobd are fake...

What the duece......BoredBlonde, just made Stallion kick his horseshoes off with that comment, Stallion remembers what BoredBlonde looked like and pictured it.........

I've seen lots of playboy news stand specials with her in them. However, that was like... 10 years ago.

At last, a natural beauty!

*boobs

She's just so awful ! look at her fake nose !

disgusting !

Real "Stars" in Cannes are much more Glamour, especially French actresses.

if U wanna see Cannes Festival's pix click here :

http://blogville.oldiblog.com/?page=photos&idgal=152607

Bises à tous ! ; )

38 Stallion Was bored blond the hot chick that was totally freaked out by a bunch of strangers wanting to fuck her, or was she that cross-eyed bitch fucking a wombat? I can't seem to remember. Oh, I know an excellent livery man to help you with your probably size 16 shoes.

Holy crapples, aren't there supposed to be nipples inthe center of the breast? And I'm with krisdylee in the small-breast category. The only time I had "big" boobs (a C ) is when I was nursing, and those weren't any fun. You touch them, they start squirting milk like you pricked a hole ina water balloon.

1) Her boobies are so big, they are wearing her, not the other way around.

2) What's with annoying blond hoes and lazy eyes? Is there some sort of scientific connection?

3) Who the fuck are those boobs...er...victoria?

Yeah!! You guys are on. It so SUCKS not to be able to post at work!

I would NOT hit it. I am not bi - never experimented...love the cock too damned much!!!

Fa - how bout some belly scratches for the Army dog! Hows dat?

Ari - How is my favorite AF brat?

Krisdylee - I love reading your posts. Would love to have a beer with you one day. You make me miss my Navy buddies.

Italian Stallion and bigponie - thanks for the laugh with the sexual innuendos on the Paris Hilton post. Nothing like lets-do-it-till-we-are-sore-gasms. Just gotta make sure your partner knows how to kiss the boo boo after!

Tranny - you sexy beast...when are you going to leave our fair state?

I, being as superficial as the rest of you morons, got a myspace account and posted my picture.

Oh yeah - this is what 41 looks like when you take care of yo'self bitches!!

Sorry - no nudity...

Fakest. Tits. Ever. You can literally see the skin trying to stretch over those things.

damn - the url didnt post...all those cool points gone.

www.myspace.com/therealpaganqueen in case it didnt post

Feed me - lol I know what you mean. I had a DD when I was breastfeeding. I was in the shower one night and the baby was asleep. My husband thought he would sneak in and get some action. I turned around and the milk was just pouring in streams. I dont think I have ever seen that man look so ill!

You guys think they're fake? Really? Come on...no.....

TrannyGranny, she was the cute blonde that put her myspace link in her name that one time.....Just got back from a happy hour so I needed to chill a bit at home, smoke, whatever.............And the Invitation, I saw you didn't forget, is still good whenever your in B-more, it's a cool little shithole, I'll show you around nigga......

oh i love that white g string she's wearing underneath. nice.

i think the she's a he.

who is this person?

She could just have naturally big boobs - cant really tell with the way her dress is holding her. I have never seen her before, so I dunno.

Do you guys find those troutlips sexy? Try not to think of them on your nether regions, then answer the question.

I think she just has low nipples. Somehow I find this more "justifiable" than Paris's "slip". I wish there were more sarcastic things I could add than quotation marks.

is that akin to "low IQ"?

PaganQueen,
You are very cute, and definitely don't look 41. I'll email you (I won't post my myspace account here, lamebananas/whipper is stalking me).

@ #1 - precisely. Victoria Silvstedt is a former PMOY (Playmate of the Year) and I only know that because I work for Playboy. Seriously. Yes - I can get you Playboy magazines & lots of porn. No - I WILL not get you into the mansion.

Otherwise, I wouldn't have a clue in hell who pink toe is.

@ #7 - my boobs are 100% real & they're 44 double d's. If you don't have the weight or back strength for 'em, don't wish to have 'em. Trust me........

@ #11 - yeah. she's hawt. a hawt ass mess!

@ #44 - big boobs are fun when they're real & not the side-effects of a pregnancy. At the very least they will get you a free drink if you promote them properly!

If you want notes on how to do so, holla @ me! ;0}

Pagan Whassup Girlfriend? Anything on my dick is fine by me, leaving your fine state in less than a week, can't wait. It's cool and all, but CO is the shit! Oh, had to check the pic, honey if you were not married, I would love to do you!

Nursers; I had a new mom friend of mine add some cream to my coffee, fucking delicious!

Stallion; Baltimore will never be right again, man! And believe me, with as much travelling as I do, I'll get there. Please consider Colorado your bitch if you get the urge.

29: Tranny - that's funny, she told me: "I really, REALLY want to suck your dick." So I said, "Ok, but what's in it for me?" Then she called me self-centered. That hurt.

46: Hiya Pagan! :)

*kicks leg repeatedly*

OoOh, keep scratching!

ok, now that we've all had our say, I want you all to go home (if your not already) and start making hot sultry love to your wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend or pet, and when your finished with that you can all thank me.

later peeps.....

Back in the day when I was nursing, if I had an orgasm, milk would shoot out. It was kind of like having two giant round dicks that looked like tits spurting all over the place.

Good times...

Geez, how can a city affectionately known as Bodymore Murderland have so many people posting here? :)

Tranny - I saw your postings on loving nature (sex), hanging out (sex), hiking (sex) and cooking (sex), etc....I am thinking I would be HOT on your trail if I wasnt happily taken. I had to laugh about your dog biting the bear. I have a pug..the only thing she bites is food. Those things LOVE to eat! Put me out of my misery and send me a picture of you!

Feed Me - thanks hon. I saw your picture and you are no slouch yourself!

When lamewillow was posting I was dieing cuz I cant post

SUPERFISH DUDE. If you get the "email" taken out of the code for posting more people will be able to post from work. We get blocked on the "email" filter.

Damned security engineers and their blocks. Even tho it was me - I SUCK!!

@57...thanks for the info, and let me congratulate you on the sheer awesomeness of your job.
Yes, I would like magazines.
The playboy mansion's not my cup of tea, I try to avoid old man stink as much as possible.

53: As for the lips, I thought she looked better before all of the collagen.

bigponie -

honey, you dont have to tell us to do that...I think we are the most sexually active, horny people that post on the net! I LOVE the way you think. You fit right in, oh yeah...deep down in...

Fa - I have a great Army of a new piece of equipment called SCUTR. Have you seen it? If not - I will post it on myspace unless you wanna email me there and I will send it to you. Dunno if that can happen. Never been on that site until BigJim posted his picture and sent every female here (and a few males I refuse to mention HWMNBN) in a serious twitter. I think you will get a kick outta SCUTR, tho.

Oh yeah baby, the nails are real, scratches that itch really gud, huh?

Fa - good to hear you dont like the pumped up lips. The top lip turns inside out and there is no cupid's bow...to me that is the sexy part - not when they look like a big leach stuck up there.

Now I am waiting for the leaches and sucking comments. Yall are so damned simple, and I LOVE IT!!

god she's like a second rate Anna Nicole Smith.
and that's saying something.

Stallion - B-more rocks - I have an unused plane ticket to piss away & was thinkin of coming in to town again for fireworks at the inner harbor....

Dude, where was the BigJim pic thread? I ain't into guys, but I want to see it so I can make fun of him. Cause I love his comebacks!

62 Kris; I laughed so hard that beer shot out of every orifice...and I didn't want to do laundry till monday.

Fa....Ya, baby!

Pagan....I'll have to post my email address. But I'm only gonna do it once, so I want to make sure Kris, Jacq, Ari, Cruising, Jim, Stallion, Saucie, etc. are all online to get it, cause you fuckers crack me up. In the meantime, 6'2" (fuck you Cube) 180, beard, green eyes, glasses, a lot like you'd expect the mountain man to look like. My dog rocks, saved my ass more than once. Ah fuck it

theincredibletrannygranny@yahoo.com

Yeah, I know. And, following in the tradition of PapaHotNuts, all are welcome. Despite all the racist, sexist and goddamn funny shit I have posted here.

First of all...
I don't know who she is...

Second of all...
She's a real class act. Kind of like some of the posters here.

Third of all...
I'm a bigger celebrity on this site than she is all over the whole world.

"Posted by BSfan on May 26, 2006 06:17 PM

Whole the hell is she?"

You mean...

"WHO the he** is she."

Stop typing wrong, misusing cliches and not spelling correctly! Idiot.

You make fun of my type-os? At least I know how to say what I'm saying.

i like the added touch that you can see her thong right through the dress. totally classy

Hey, in the second picture you can totally see her areola. Whoa.

Tranny - he posted awhile back....I am sure you can fit a slam on 2 in there.

So, tall, dark, and handsome. I picture you in a pair of 501s and hiking boots. Your bare chest glistening with sweat from the hike...oh yeah, my imagination is much too vivid!!

@7-

Nah, you don't want big tits. They totally ruin everything. I just WISH I could go braless once in a while, or wear a cute, low-cut shirt without having to worry about a tit popping out and poking someone's eye out.

I was probably the chick fucking the wombat. If by "wombat" you mean "Boxer" and "fucking", you mean "holding for the picture".

tsarinaamanda

I know what you are saying! I am a 34C and hit the DD when I was pregnant. It seemed like they were always in the way (and being held by my husband -he just gives and gives, so unselfish of him to help me, LOL)

Oh man I was so glad to go back down again....I got more than enough the way I am.

6'2"??? Pathetic Girlie-man!

*sings*

Short people got no reason....
To live

They got little hands, little eyes
They walk around tellin' great big lies
They got little noses and tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes on their nasty little feet

Well, I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
'Round here

Apologies for inflicting Randy "Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot" Newman on everyone.

its nice that she seems to care about AIDS,
but to think are women like her that makes this world so sinful and for that the AIDS play a major part.

Pagan; I'm reasonably good looking, but I ain't got shit on your imagination. No-name jeans, although I have considered the 501's to get me some slutty chicks (no offense). Hiking boots, yes, consistantly beat up and used. I'm built more like a basketball player than a lineman (and i can out-endurance most of those fucks any day of the week.) But my chest is always bear.

#33 has it right.
http://img480.imageshack.us/img480/8131/884magazinevictoriasilvstedtfh.jpg

this woman is gorgeous and a gorgeous woman like that has a duty to show it off to us as much as possible while she still has it. God bless her and her gigantic sweater pillows. I hope to see her at the next pediatric cancer fundraiser wearing a little school girls outfit sucking on a lollipop. Give the little bastards something to live for.

Fa; I will so jump up and head but you in the cock, we midgets do that thing you know.

68: Pagan - unfortunately I was out before the SCUTR came into service. Don't you have to fill out the old ID-10 Tango form to requisition one of those? :)

Heh, we should ask Ari to go get us 100' of flight line.

"Bodymore Murderland"

I actually never heard that one before. I like it.

Tranny: Your chest is bear?? What are you, George Costanza?

Cock cruiser; Babe, with a package like you, what the fuck are you doin' home? Get some Dick! Wish it was mine..

Fa; yo, bitch, seen a bear? go see one and get back to me.

Fa - so what are your statistics....I got my imagination on overdrive right now...dont make me beg! LOL

Tranny - the WONDERFUL thing about men is they come in all shapes and sizes. I prefer the rugged look. A man should look like a man. Personality is what really does it for me tho.

I will tell you the secret to scoring...it isnt all looks..it is attitude. If you can make a woman laugh and feel like she is beautiful and has your undieing attention, and most times you will not be going home alone.

Went honky tonking with my brothers and friends. My brother was taking my advice and had a beautiful woman all ready. He made the mistake of glancing at another woman - oh yeah cock block.

Next night he tried again, another beautiful woman and a very happy and scratched up brother the next day!

Yup, seen bears before.

Had a roommate in college that nature played a cruel joke on. Pretty much no body hair except for one patch on chest that looked exactly like a 70's muff. One of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Fa - go to my site and click on my pictures and let me know if you can see the SCUTR.

Oh yeah, you would look fine on one of them babies....the women would swoon and men would run in fear.

@72 - BigJim is #356 on 5/17 in the Paris/Brandon thread...he posted it a couple of times...

Pagan: Stats - 6'8", dark blond buzzcut, greenish eyes. No idea what I currently weigh, but I used to play football (O-line) and am smaller now. If it helps the mental image any, when I was in Europe, everyone thought I was a Dane, so I guess I look sort of Viking-ish.

@88 It's considered child neglect if I leave my son alone.

Don't worry, as soon as he goes to bed, it's on. I'll be thinking of the mountain man, roughing me up on a rock.

Pagan: Heh, mount a 240-Golf on that thing and you've got one mean urban assault vehicle!

Pagan Queen-

Imagine having 36D's since 6th grade. NOT a fun experience. I spent most of my junior high years slouched over in huge t-shirts. Unfortunately, it runs in the family. My lucky mom got a reduction about 10 years ago, she's never misses them (44DD and she is SKINNY too). I wish I had the money for it...

Fa, Pagan, Crack me up, all the time Fa; Why do you know about all of his body hair? Pagan; believe me, laughter is 80% of what I got...

Tranny: Going climbing this summer - any recommendations as to peaks to climb in CO? Not looking for any Alpine stuff, as will have an absolute noob with the group. Pretty much anything that can be hiked to the top will do.

98: Guy used to watch tube in his boxers (and badly hungover) about half the time. Not a pleasant sight, but funny.

She looks like a test tube with something bubbling out of the top of it.

Damn Pagan, I was going to add you to my friends list on Myspace...what's up with that crazy shit about knowing your last name or email? I didn't know you could do that. You look pretty good for 41, impressive. You can add me if you like, tsarinaamanda is my friend ID. If not, that's cool too. I have read a lot about Wicca, I find it really interesting but I don't know anyone who is into it. It's one of the few religions that make sense to me, besides Satanism, of course. :)

She's hot but her tits look crap.

HER BOOBS ARE IN THE INCORRECT POSITION.

Fa - I am part Norwegian...I just LOVE barbarians. I can see it now....(uh-oh) you walking off a viking warship - all dressed in leather, big sword in your hand.....you are the King of your clan and are after me because I am the daughter of your enemy. You will make him pay through defiling me. I freeze at the sight of you...you wrap your arm in my long hair.............yeesh, I need to start writing romance books....this is crotch sizzlin gold here!!

I am Italian, Irish, Norwegian, and English. I got the red hair and I have brown eyes with red highlights similar to my hair. My sister has really dark hair and her eyes match as well. Brother - well he is blonde with sky blue eyes - he got the Norwegian coloring...I got a mix of Italian with the olive skin and Irish/Celtic with the red hair.

Everyone else is doing it...I feel like I should post my email address...

cruising4donna@msn.com

Yeah, that's right Donna.
Donna does Dallas
Delicious Donna

Go ahead add to the list while I pour my wine.

No bananas allowed.

Pagan: Nice combo. I'm German, Irish, Scottish, Swedish, Dutch, and Sicilian (I guess great-great-great-great-great-grandfather Olaf must have been one of the Vikings who raided the island way back when).

Ahhhh... bella Donna!

Well, someone had to be cheesy and say it...

Fa I flippin LOVE Golf carts. I used to drive around with the beer coolers at Navy Relief Golf Tournaments. We used to see how far we could jump them :) LOL

tsarinaamanda - you may be able to get your medical insurance to pay for it. While they are fun, they can cause all kindsa back, neck, and shoulder problems. Check into it. A friend of mine did and got her reduction. Perky bitch now after 3 kids....grrrrrrr! LOL

If you really get into the classic Satanism it isnt sacrifice, etc. It is really animistic in that they wont put up with weakness. They are extremely protective of their children. Just really interesting.

I have to commend you on reading up on it. But then again, of course you have a brain, your on here, huh? LOL

You may know a Witch or 2 and not know it. Alot of us are still in the "Broom closet" due to all the bad info and fucktards (I so LOVE that word!) who propagate it.

Fa - funny you should mention Olaf...I am a descendant of King Olaf Tryggvasson. Bow bitch! LOL

My grandfather's mother was Sicilian and father was Italian. Well, let me tell ya, family reunions were pretty tense.

He married my 100% Irish grandmother. Oh do I miss that woman! Firey red hair and temper to match.

hahahahahaha, victoria who? no one knows who this girl is in the UK, apart from, obviously she has mistakenly been washing in tropicana. and she is a slut. This has, made my day. FACT.

Feed_Me_Chocolate...

THIS IS GREAT! Okay.. let me get this straight...
1. You live in San Bernardino (that's pathetic enough)
2. You are raising a child in the ghetto slum of So. Cal.
AND
3. You have tiny bozangas???

HA HA HA HA HA

Pagan-

Yeah, I read the Satanic Bible (by Anton LaVey, I think that's what it was called) and I liked it's "Me first" motto. I am also working my way through Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft. I am ALWAYS reading, it is my favorite thing to do. Lovecraft's books are also really good, if you haven't read any, go get them.

And you stole my stalking thing because I already said YOU are stalking ME! You are, after all, a card carrying member of C.O.O.B. and yo know what that is, idiot.

Go back to the ghetto... oh wait, you never left.

I don't think I'd tell her to fuck off if she was going down on me....

Ya know, R'lyeh is really nice this time of year....

114: Reminds me of a great t-shirt I saw once

"Stop pulling my ears, I know what I'm doing!"

Although technically, it should probably go on a hat.

Oh, and BTW, what the hell is wrong with being a slut???

How are her boobies not falling out???

114 I bet she's the selfish type (like me). She would make YOU lick a lot.

Suck alot, Cruising... SUCK.....

email me you deliciously cunty bitch

krisdylee@hotmail.com

Tsarina - the 2 things ALL Pagans have in common: 1. we are voracious readers - we read TONS. 2. we are techie geeks. OK there is a 3rd - SEX!! LOL

Raymond Buckland is a good read. Scott Cunningham has some good books out, too. You should get "Drawing Down the Moon". That really goes through the history of The Craeft.

Wicca as a religion in itself is fairly new. We try to recreate as close as possible nature worship from ancient times. This information was gathered from archeological digs, etc. Some of it was filled in from ceremonial magicians such as Alistair Crowley. One of the reasons we get a bad rap is because of him. If you do some research you will find he was pretty flippin amazing.

If you have any questions, just let me know. witchvox.com is a great site. It is where most of us go. Wren's nest on that site is where news relating to Paganism, nature, politics, etc is posted. If you read the comments you will find that we are an extemely diverse group, just like any other religions.

I really REALLY wish I could turn people into toads...that would so flippin ROCK!!

MOTORBOAT!!!! I'm a motorboating son of a bitch.

krisdylee

LOL on the hotmail account...girl it should be "scortchinghotmail" from some of your posts.

I am holding up my Smirnoff Twisted 5 mandarin orange to you

BoredBlonde

LOL I was just thinking that!

Gotta have them "write" the ABCs...oh yeah, if they miss one...they have to keep "writing it"

Hmm... I don't have a myspace account... this will have to do...

It's good to know the ethnic backgrounds of everyone here. You know, in case I need to start with ethnic slurs. Or I could just go with "dick-faced nigger" -- it's the "Charlie Sheen" insult for white women" if you haven't been on thesmokinggun.com. I think it covers all races.

And Tranny, Colorado is the bastard child of Montana and Wyoming. There, I said it.

120 Lick, suck and finger fuck.

Sing it together now.. Lick, suck and finger fuck...

once again

Somehow, I have missed Feed_Me's pic. Please re-post that. And anyone else who's ever shown their face (or bottom) on this thread, please put it up again.

That way, when I'm having a tea party with my imaginary friends, I'll have proper faces to put with the names.

P.S. By "tea," I mean "vodka-straight-from-the-bottle."

Yo LAME bananas OR WILLOW ...when I said no bananas...I meant you. Crazy mulitple personality fucker. We're not friends.

Sweetcheeks

Hon, you just caused a HUGE mess on alot of monitors and keyboards.

www.myspace.com/therealpaganqueen

126: erm, my ethnic slurs: Kraut (see also hun, heine, jerry, buckethead), bog-hopper (see also mick, taig, croppy, paddy), jock, big dumb swede, cheeseroller, and wop (see also dago). Have fun.

sweetcheeks...nice link, you're a hottie. May I come to the party? I'm Italian 50% and the rest of me is Irish and German.

Cruisin

I just kicked whimpy-willow's pimply ass on the Hilary Swank thread...I see you have made him cry harder. Nice going :)

131: Concur. Yowza!

Pagan Queen -- what did you do in the Navy? I'm here at NAS Jax.

134 The best part is that the email "it" sent went directly to the junk folder...it was as if MSN knew.

Fa

Oh please DONT do that - I am really tipsy and would LOVE to add a bunch of slurs, but I already made whimpy willow cry - dont wanna hurt anymore feelings ya know. All that karma may come and run over me as whimpy was saying earlier.

Good thing I got my blackhawk out and I got the site dot in the middle of someone's pimply forehead. Go ahead, make my day!

LOL - oh shit, it is probably a 14 year old kid. I just hope it is a middle age gay guy that hasnt realized it is OK to touch himself.

sweetcheeks

Was a CTO. Now I guess they are CTNs. I was stationed at Corry Station for A and C school. That was in the 80s when the drinking age was 18. If I could live just 1 more night back then!

I died my hair blonde, had the Flock of Seagull's lead singer's hairstyle...was a total "New Ager". I got pictures. Guaranteed to result in severe bouts of uncontrollable hillarity!

Fa - dont say it, just dont fucking say it!

email me too, Pagan, you hot fucking bitch...

*whistles innocently*

130: The voices in her head say you are, though.

Pagan: I remember having parachute pants and a Swiss Army shirt. Perhaps not the wisest fashion choice - although it was fairly comfortable as I recall.

Thank you all.

EVERYONE is invited to the party. It's usually a six or seven hour "tea" that concludes with me falling down the front stairs, making out with CruisingforCock, accidently drinking bong water, calling krisdylee a big slutty slut and then making out with her, crying, then punching HWMNBN in the balls for showing up, and then telling everyone to get the fuck out of my house because I'm not that kind of girl.

Then I usually throw up and Fa Cube Itches steals my DVD player and takes a picture of me passed out under the toilet.

Gwen Stefani had her baby today!
Yay!

TLTC

Here goes...

http://ca.360.yahoo.com/my_profile.html

Hope I did this right...

sweetcheeks, when we make out, i cry too, with joy....

I tend to smoke too much at your parties and eating all the chips and frosting in the can...

#122-- other cool things about Wicca and Paganism: Sex Magick. ;)

Man, them's some ugly boobies. Are we supposed to know who this woman is? Is she really a woman or a tranny? If you click on her photo those boobs look like they're going to sprout hair any moment.

Sweetcheeks, email me anytime

Fa Cube - email me and I'll send you naughty pics

I forgot -- when Pagan Queen shows up at the party, it's usually in time to draw a couple of pentagrams on my face with a permanent marker while I'm unconscious on the bathroom floor.

My husband is an AE2. I love me some sailors!!! (Well, one in particular).

Krisdylee, it didn't work! Try again... this time, make sure the picture has some boobies.

144: I have quite a collection of both now. The ransom checks are coming soon, yes?

Fa

Babe, the gig is up, we KNOW that there isnt anything innocent about you **evil grin**

Krisdylee

I am not bi, never tried women, love the cock too much. But reading your post to me and seeing your picture makes me strangly tingly. I think I need a hug! sniff sniff

Sweetcheeks

You HAVE to be a sailor. That is every flippin party I ever went to in the Navy. Dont forget running and screamin from the base man-whore. You know the one...he is just slimy and the only way he can get laid is if the women are passed out.

Ari

Oh yeah, The Great Rite. I love being a Pagan. I love all the clothing optional functions, but let me tell ya, we need a law. It should be against the law to have an 80 year old man bend over in front of you to pick up a pretty rock. Things like that can scar a person for life!

Fa Cube -- If by "ransom checks" you mean "food stamps and second party out-of-state-paychecks," then yes, they're in the mail.

I'm a follower of Cubism. It's a sacred set of beliefs handed down lo, these many generations, that usually takes the form of a drinking contest. Also, much like Christianity, prostitutes are a key part of the more spiritual moments. However, unlike Christianity, the prostitutes rarely are called upon to discover missing corpses.

Sweetcheeks

On 152 you make it sound like it is a bad thing!

OK OK I will make it up to you by having some Pagan God help you with The Great Rite. And since you seem to be happily married, I know an AE2 that would love to help you erase that memory :)

If God/ess invented anything better than sex, he/she is keeping it to himself/herself.

155: Woo hoo!! No more Nissin Ramen Noodles for me! I'm movin' up to Maruchan!

#80, Fa Cube-- didn't we have a talk about my ... height- challenged-ness? Be nice, baby, be nice.

Fa

Baby, you need to switch to Paganism. We believe sex is the ultimate way to communicate with the divine.

And we know great sex is divine.

Bad sex is like posts from whimpy-willow/lamebananas...irritating and something you want to forget

Wait a minute - Cubism wouldnt happen to be a square shaped basket with a woman in it, hole in the bottom, spinning and being lowered, would it?

Crusing: Ok, look for the Pez.

#82--Tranny-- grab yourself some 501s. I can undo those with my teeth. Endurance is important.

I'm a bit retarded about kompooterz, what did I not do right?

#94, Fa Cube-- as soon as you said 6'8" (or 4'32", hehe) and Nordic ancestry, I had Vikings on the brain.

EVERY MAN that here that would like to get laid, please, PLEASE read #90. She's dead on.

Thank you, Pagan!

Ari: Not directed at you at all, my little water rocket. :) Only applied to males under 6'8" who repeatedly attempt to head butt my package.

Ari

I agree with the 501s. I am from Texas and we have a saying there "women go nuts over wrangler butts". Either or - I am looking at the whole, umh, shall we say "package"

Fa

Dang...now I am drunk and hungry and I want maruchan noodles.

Geez, I sure do miss pub crawling!! There was a great fish and chips place we used to hit in Scotland. Hell, about anything edible would do.

Think I ate dog in Puerto Rico once.

Krisdylee

Hey - were you serious about eating cougar (no - this isnt a pussy joke! LOL) My husband is a traditional bowhunter and shot one a few years ago in Montana. We ate it, it was like a great pork loin.

160: I'm told it originated in Olongapo, so it could well be!

Ari

Being thrown around by a 6'8" blonde stud like Fa .. dunno what the hell I was going to say..imagination running away with me again. I need to stop reading those damned romance novels! LOL

Pagan, yeah I ate cougar, went to a game banquet and ate a lot of strange meat.. ha, sounds like my grad night....

ok, all you fuckers, email me at above metnioned address, send me naught pix... Cruising, for some reason, I couldn't open your attachment... although i'd open you with my tongue....

i'v obvously dran k too much.

Fa

Oh I have the greatest story EVER!! I was at Corry station and was playing guard at the rear gate by the PX. I had to stand there with this idiot telling me about his "wife" in Olongapo, how he is sending his money to her, waiting for her Visa, bleh bleh bleh

A couple hours later this guy goes rabid on a car screaming "that's my wife". Come to find out, his virgin "wife" was already married to a Lt. Seems that she flew to Pensacola to be with him and didnt realize the sorry turd she was scammin had been sent there.

Oh dang - watching that was sheer poetry in motion. The MAAs had a hell of a time pulling the guys off each other - then they had to protect the woman. I just wish video cameras were as common then as now. That one would have been number one for years to come!

#160-- I firmly believe multiple orgasms are concrete proof that God is female... OK?

Pagan-- I'm from Texas too. Born in a military hospital in San Antonio, then lived in and around Ft. Worth til I was 14, then to So. Cal. Now I'm back in Fort Worth.

I like the Wrangler butts, but the button-fly jeans are just too..mouth watering.

173: Yikes. Too bad, sounds like they were well on their way to being husbands-in-law.

Probably a Springer episode in there somewhere. Actually even he might have too much class for that! :)

Ari

We had to have something to make up for PMS and childbirth. LOL

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm interesting experiment. Pugs do NOT like Smirnoff mandarin orange, but they do like cheez-its.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm another interesting fact, PaganQueen loves smirnoff mandarin orange and loves cheez-its.

Whoever thinks cheetos can call themselves a fucktard! LOL

Damn! My wife just slapped the shit out of me for staring at those cans. But it was worth it. Good evening, all.

Grobpilot

That could be a good thing she slapped you - she may want to show you just how good you have it at home. Now I ask you, is that so bad?

Go love your woman and show her she is the best thing that has ever happened to you.

Star at cans on your own time!

*stare* yeesh one would think I was a bit tipsy now, wouldnt one?

hiccup

PMS can be dealt with with chocolate and alcohol.

Childbirth..heh, I asked for an epidural before I even went into labor the second time. The first round through labor caught me off guard, I didn't know what to expect, but the second and third? Nope, hook me up curb-side.

Now all the natural childbirth nazis will be all over my ass.

Does it help that I breastfed them all? (Since nobody seems to be squeamish about that particular topic.)

178 Slap her back. That is how the hot sex starts. Then come back and tell us how it was. Details, please.

If anybody's interested, my email is ArianrhodGryWolf@aol.com

I'm pretty sure at least Pagan Queen will understand that email addy.

Gwen did have boy...Kingston James McGregor Rossdale

That name is positively normal for a celebrity baby.

Ari

3? You are wonder-flippin woman. I have 1. Over 24 hours hard labor (gotta love military hospitals) epidural ran out over an hour before pushing - pushed for 2 hours. After it was over I was told she was stuck and maybe they shoulda done an c-section about 20 flippin hours earlier. Hmmmmmm why do I have only 1 child? LOL

Well, the natural childbirth nazis can knock their unshaven socks off and just go crazy with the natural birth. We have drugs, drugs are good, drugs help your husband live through labor.

Cruisin

Oh yeah, some of that grudgefucking. Then after they can have makeup sex.

I'm appreciative that you all seem to have my evening planned out for me. Now, if I can just stay out of jail after taking your advice, I'll let you know how it went.

I broke my ex-husband's thumb during my first labor, lol. He was trying to talk me out of the drugs. He decided perhaps I needed them after that.

I love it how the nurses come in and ask you "How is your pain, on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst?"

Me: I'll rip you apart where you stand, bitch.
Nurse: I'll put you at a ten.
Me: you do that.

And the nurse magically reappears with the anesthesiologist...

Wow, the first reference to slap-fucking that I've seen here. Somehow that's vaguely shocking - not the subject matter, that it hasn't been raised before.

I feel cheated. No one announced the birth of my child on TV or radio.

And here I thought I was "something of a big deal" LOL

Hopefully they are happy and healthy. Wow - I even like the name. Beats Apple, Rumor, Scout, Talula Belle, Bluebell Madonna, and all the other names that just cry "kick my ass" louder than wearing geranimals!

I find that it's always best to drink very heavily before sex...if I can't make the earth move, I can at least make the room spin!

Grobpilot

LOL - if you do it right she will be all over you. Do it wrong...well, I am sure that a nice man named Bubbah in the same cell will be all over you. Hey, we like to see married guys get it good from their wives..it is the way it should be.

Fa

LOL Flashbacks of the PI?

#173 - Pagan Queen, I love you bitch but I am a peace lovin' psuedo hippy, quietly hiding the sarcastic-cunty side from other pseudo-hippy chick friends, and this is all I understood about your post:

"bla blah lba blah idiot telling me blah blah lahahahb;avhbg;la navy army us stuff i don't understand bla bla blha years to come."

We are from such different lives and upbringings... WOW....

ps. I just smoked a fat one... don't tell anyone, okay?

Fa Cube- actually, I think we were talking about 'angry sex' maybe a week or so ago.

I can almost guarantee drinking heavily doesn't improve sex. Paying attention to your partner improves sex. If you do something, and your partner gasps and squirms a bit.. do it some more...

Who's freaked out that I have three kids?

Don't feel bad. It freaks me out some days too.

Pagan: Why no, none at all, why do you ask? *looks around shiftily*

It's good to find like-minded individuals who think the same about celebrities as I do. A constant source of entertainment for all of us even if they're not performing on stage or in front of a camera

Fa

Oh damn, baby I have seen the room spin, but I dont remember meeting you!! LOL

oh man, I only got drunk like that 1 time. I partied with Jose Cuervo and the Captain. Those bastards dont play fair. I had a good boyfriend then...he took care of me. Never did anything like that again!

Just checked you out Cruising, and just came in my panties.

What the hell am I talking about? Shit, I must be tired.

Ari: oh yeah, angry sex I've seen discussed. Slap-fucking however, not here until tonight.

3 kids?? *gasp* You mean you've had sex THREE times!?!?!?! Wow! 8D

Pagan, I got drunk like that every Saturday night of my life for 15 years straight.....

good times, guys... good times.

Jesus saves.

yes, Fa, just three times. ONLY three times. And only because I wanted kids.

The second one, for instance, had nothing to do with being entirely too caught up in the moment to stop and find a condom. Nor did I threaten my hubby with extreme bodily harm if he made me climb off him.

No. Sex is purely for procreation.

Seriously. I'm a prude, can't you tell?

Where'd my halo go?

202: But Gretzky scores on the rebound!!!! Oilers win!!! Oilers win!!!!

told you boys. must hurt real bad to be good. pull the hair, smack the ass. yeah..leave marks.

Krisdylee, told you I was hot....think of me when you fuck that hubby tonight.

report back, details please.

#202, yeah, yeah. Jesus saves. Got it.

Whereas MY religion states that (Pagan Queen, back me up here):

"All acts of love and pleasure are my ritual."

Ari: Your halo? Um, your twirling it around your finger.

Krisdylee

You sexy, deliciously cunty bitch. OK, let me break it down for you.

Dumpy Navy nerd goes to the Phillipines and meets hooker. Hooker convinces him she is "virgin" and they get "married". Said nerd goes back to states and sends his paycheck back to Phillipines for his "virginal wife".

Dumpy nerd and myself are playing gate guard, making sure only with military IDs can come onto the military installation. Dumpy nerd making my life hell talking about "virginal wife". I am thinking the whole time this guy is getting fucked without the contact.

Car comes up carrying officer and dumpy nerd's "virgin wife". Seems that she was married to the officer the whole time and would whore when he wasnt there. Had dumpy nerd believing they were married to get his paycheck.

So, dumpy nerd + whore + real husband = bad juju and a situation so damned funny I nearly pissed myself!

Hahaha, I said that to one of my friends once, and she told me I probably lost it when I was using it as a cock ring...

er..."you're"

Edna, tonight, when I am engaging in the sexual intercourse with my husband, I will be imagining going down on Cruisin's hot southern smile, and thus having a very intese orgasm, while my husband thrusts his

Sorry, 209 was in response to 207. I figured they'd be posted together.

um, am I going over a line here guys?

What line? There's no fuckin' line.

Feel free to continue on.

If I just made a comment on using a halo as a cock ring, I don't think you're over any line at all...

Carry on.

that is some funny shit Pagan. I drove forklift for awhile.

Seeing as someone once posted a link to a girl shitting into her own mouth in the comments section, I'd vote "no".

never 213...there is no line

favorite CD in the stereo, and we sit and listen to some great tunes, and rub eachother off.

Fa

On 207 she is twirling a cock ring :)

Cruisin

you need to post the link to your pix so we can see ya

Krisdylee

As long as you get laid along with that drunk, now your talkin

Edna

Oh yeah, now I have you in my sites. Wanna party with PaganQueen, bitch? I can give you the ultimate redemption for your many sins.

I know Jesus saves, he has an account at my bank and I saw him there puttin money in his account.

I save, but do people let everyone know. Hell no.

Life isnt fair! I want people to know I save, too.

Dammit, Ari - the Fundie hurt my feelings! I like our God better. I like it when they say "God fearing". Yeesh, if you have to fear your God, you need to find a new one. I walk hand in hand in peace and love with mine.

Krisdylee: You too? Drove a fork and a cherry picker for a couple of summers. Had that job in the morning, then worked at a bar and grill late at night. Needless to say, there were a number of gouges in the walls where I had fallen asleep and driven into them after closing the bar a few hours earlier.

yep, for a coal mine warehouse. Loaded trucks all day. Wicked money, drank most of it away.

Like I said, guys, good times.

These posts make me weep. Please LORD give all the shameful posters on TheSuperficial the strength to confront their demons head-on instead of posting these disgusting comments for all to see.

pagan, email me and i'll be happy to send you a picture. I'm no Zanna but you can get this lap dance here for free.

I hope Zanna emails me. Nerdy strippers are fucking awesome.

219 - Speaking of Fundies: anyone else remember "Fundies 'the underwear made for two'"?

Before I hit my mat for my yoga practice, (ha, the irony IS funny...)Just wanted to mention I think BigJim and Papa and Feed_Me are gonna be pissed they missed this thread.

Shit - just when I think I am being originally whitty with cock ring someone already posts it.

Kris

That is cool driving a forklift. I drove a golf cart. That count as cool. Hey, let me add a cooler full of beer was on it. How ya like me now?

Fa

on post 216...why the hell do people make something great like sex into something sick and twisted. ewwwwwwwwwww All I can say is we need some chlorine in the gene pool.

I dont think there is a line here - but I am thinking we may make a tiny one with that picture. Thinking of that is ruining this great buzz I have and I havent had a buzz in months! Shit, now I am whiney! LOL

Edna, YOU are our demon...

222 Edna, I'm going to thrust the demons head on into my vagina and think of you.

I plan on going drinking with my demons in about an hour. Nelchael and Asteroth are wicked awesome to do Irish Car Bombs with, yo!

I fear no God, Jesus would hate what you've done in his name, so toddle off to play with the other psycho-fundies, Edna.

holy fuck, we rule!!!

Cruising, you named your dildo after a demon?

Pagan: I don't quite know. Stuff like that is *really* disturbing.

On a more humorous note: a girl in my apartment complex has now officially slept with three of my neighbors (not at once). I propose the she forever after be known as "Secretariat". What says the panel?

I never saw any underwear for two, but I've seen showers built for two.

Fa Cube, meet me in one. I wanna ride me a Viking...

Edna

God sent me to you. I am your demon, bitch.

Dang- I am laughing too hard to try to be evil in my posts. This is just too funny!

You take the fun outta fundamentalism. You forget, we saw your picture.

You should be begging God forgiveness for ruining his temple by overeating and being lazy.

Fa

I have been bad...think I need a spanking? LOL

Cruisin

Not bi - but I can appreciate a beautiful woman. Love the cock too much :)

Krisdylee

Wasnt it just today that boredblonde said that there were only lamers posting at night. Well nyah...that will teach ya!

BigJim, Papa, and Feed Me are all funny.

Hmmmmmmmmm hope your husband likes the "Sun Salutation" you are going to be doing :)

They say it's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean. Fortunately, us Vikings are known for our "longships".

Ah-hah-hah-hah-hah *tear*

We used to call the sluts in the Navy the Navy Relief Society.

She will learn the hard way 2 important things....dont sleep with anyone in your apartment building or at work.

Both will bite ya, and not that great bite on the back of the neck while being ridden from behind, with hair pulled and a slap on the ass at the right moment.

Get that Edna.

Fa

Testify and swing that mighty sword!!!!

Fa

Hmmmmmmmmm longships and the little woman in the canoe. Such a nautical theme! Lets not mention the seamen! LOL

235 I'm with ya. Which is why I am cruising for COCKS. Peace.

Do Vikings and cowgirls go together?

Pagan Queen's remark about the hair pulling reminded me of the 'hair could be used as reins' comment from the other night.

Pagan: well, I guess the longship could send over a boarding party....

Ari

As long as it is an alpha male does it matter :)

He can be anybody when you close your eyes!
meowwwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrr

Ari: indeed they do. Vikings were pretty good horsemen. Love the hair reins! Hya! Git on up!

Fa

Damned invaders!! LOL

Fa, my best friend from high school once told me I was an 'alpha female'.

I think I told her she watched too much National Geographic channel, hehe.

Her explanation (which I won't go into here, because it'd take all day) actually had some merit, I think.

Ari

I meant it doesnt matter. Yeesh, who the hell got my keyboard tipsy?

I guess Fa answered your question nicely, huh? I know it did it for me! LOL

Ari: well, wolves have alpha females to go with the alpha males...makes sense to me. :)

Dammit, that was Pagan with the alpha male comment. I think I'm getting cross-eyed, because there's no way in hell I could be tipsy from my half a chick-beer.

Ari

Alpha means you take charge, not whimpy...strong personality. Not pushy or bossy.

Not everyone is alpha and that is good. I happen to be, so I needed to make sure I found someone that was my equal that I couldnt walk on and I found him. Doesnt mean you have to be bossy, etc, just strong.

Where is Dr Rokter when ya need him? I am sure the good Dr could give us all the lowdown! LOL

Pagan: ever have your marine put his 'high and tight' to proper use? Done right, it can really make the ladies squeal.

Only asking 'cause I've gotta get re-buzzed tomorrow. Had an ex who *really* liked those days.

Yeah, it's just not often that humans are referred to as 'alpha.'

Looking back on it, I can see that she was right. Somehow, my best (male) friend and I wound up being the people that the rest of our friends came to when they needed something.

That male friend also threw another guy halfway across the quad when he tried to hug me one day, so...I guess there just might have been some feelings of possessiveness there.

We had a nice 'friends with benefits' relationship for a while after I split with my ex-hub.

Please explain #251. This sounds interesting.

Fa

Oh yeah, wow!! That about says it all!!

Fa

Yeah, explain to Ari ;P

Well, the 'high and tight' is a very short haircut, right? So it's basically soft, but just a little bit sharp. Rubbed on the breasts....

(I've also heard from Ranger buddies about brushing the boatman, but that seems somewhat more complicated - not sure if I actually believe it.)

Oh, good lord. Yes, please get quiet now.

Fa

Believe your Ranger buddies.

Ari

Oh yeah, it is THAT good!!

Ah, thought it was something like that.

As for the boatman... a proper length beard works too. Works very well...

Pagan: it just seems like it would end up being "headbutt the boatman". Comical, but hardly erotic. Oh well, just have to practice, I guess.

Ari: Yeah, beard is a bit easier to control.

Ari

My husband has a goatee AND a high and tight.

And you were wondering why I had such a great imagination? heh heh heh

Fa

Practice makes perfect, just dont be drunk and headbutt the little guy, but then again laugher can make sex great, too. When you think of sex, it is pretty funny with the act, sounds, faces, etc.

Fa, you're not helping me get over the urge to tackle you, you know.

Geez, now this has got me thinking...

Bailey's Irish Cream - it's not just a drink, it's a toy!

Heh.

Several of my ex's have had goatees, and my friends-with-benefits buddy had long hair that I used to dig my fingers into. That was nice to help direct the action.

Ari: I suppose I shouldn't mention the reindeer rug I got in Finland then, huh? Nevermind about that.

No, please don't mention it. Just like I won't mention the silk sheets I have stashed away for a special occasion.

Hmmmm....silk sheets on reindeer fur. Sounds soft and slippery. Could be onto something there

And sand nowhere near any of it.

True, but no fish either. So no kink!

Well, time for me to crash. Need to get my beauty sleep.

Uh, yall dont let the bedbugs bite, unless they are cute, and pulling your hair from behind! LOL

Trust me, you don't need nibbling fish to be kinky.

I'll nibble on ya, if you want...

Night :)

Night, Witchy Woman!

Fair enough...

Now... to start at the top or the bottom...

Decisions, decisions....

dude sweetcheeks how fucking tall are you? in that picture you look like you're reaching 7 feet.

you have a nice ass and all, but the rest of your body looks like a MAN.

cute petite women = way hotter than giant butch chicks.

Oh huzzah! Group meeting finally ended. Now weekend can begin after 15 hour day. Ahwooooooo.

Starting in the middle is out. Might miss a lot of good stuff if you take the shortcut.

.... Group meeting?...

'Night Ari - I'll shoot you an e-mail this weekend. :)

Yeah, still at the office. :(

Argh! It's Friday night and I want to go dancing. Hmm... nope. I'd rather go to the beach.

Not a lot of beaches in North Texas. *sigh*

night, babe!

Vikings and cowgirls...should make for interesting dreams tonight.

Yours or mine?

Ari: Just get a sun lamp, a beach towel, a bucket of Corona and some Buffet cds. After enough beer, it might kinda seem like the beach....

6 of one, half-a-dozen of the other. :)