May 9 2006Tori Spelling gets knocked up and married

FIRST

Trannys can become pregnant? What is "she" carrying? A pony turd?

Dang it!!!

4th! Nobody gives credit to number 4.

Poor Dean... when that kid's born with a horse face and a hook nose, he'll finally see what his honey looked like BEFORE she met her Beverly Hills plastic surgeon.

I really can't believe someone actually fucked her. It should be a crime, and I plan on writing my Congressman today.

This girl always looked like a tranny, even in her teenage years. I am reminded of that famous quote: "You can't polish a turd, Beavis". I wonder how much money was spent on this attempt. Maybe she'll be the next Jennifer Lopez or Elizabeth Taylor.

That's definitely a chick you need to bag before you shag.

Wasn't she married to someone else a few months ago?

Fuck that. This dude pulled a Zeta-Jones. He was a tool soap actor, got his hooks on a fugly bitch that is heir to a bunch of cash. Get a kid on the whore and you're in there for life.

@9 Charlie Shanian - he divorced "her" the night after the nuptials. Turns out Charlie isn' t into horses and cock in any combination.

The most FAKE thing I ever saw, was that shitty movie she was in and we were supposed to believe she was some high-priced call girl.

Nobody would bag this bitch if she didn't have daddy's money.

Who the fuck is Dean McDermott?

Can a fetus gestate in a plastic womb?

Merlin's beard! I don't give a tinker's toot about To-rhee-hee-hee-snort Spelling.

Now is the time to move to Beverly Hills and open an upscale baby shop and give it a french name, or one of those word association names that make no sense.

I've never been able to look at her without involuntarily neighing like a horse.
It's Mr. Ed!

Their kids will look like frogs. BUT, this guy will probably be living in the Spelling mansion one day, so I'm sure he's okay with having ugly kids.

Glad I just make small Spelling mistakes. This guy is WAY beyond typo now..

Tori Spelling's baby is about the best pro-abortion argument I can think of.

Alexis Arquette is looking hawttt.

This is a sham, right? I mean, chicks that ugly are always dykes, aren't they? She sure looks like a carpet muncher to me.

I'm betting she hired this washed up actor to play the role of her husband, and got artificially inseminated by David Crosby.

Bravo, Binky. Bravo.

She's annoying.

I got a little story about Paul Revere, Just me and my Tori and a quart of Beer, riding across the land, kicking up sand, Taco bell is on our tail, horsemeats in demand..............

That's why I love you Italian Stallion....and of course now I'm hungry.

I need something funnier to work with. All I can muster is to call her ugly and everyone knows that. There is something wrong with a guy who can get hard to looking at her.

I hope the baby comes out with a little, tiny body and the face and head of her father. *cue the music from the Pshyco shower scene*ree-ree-ree!

#21 - Where have you been, bitch!? You better not be teasing us with quickie posts today!

awww, I heart Tori, she's MY little pony!

plus, he TV show isn't half as offensive and annoying as the rest of VH1's line up. I'd rather chew off my own foot than watch "Hogan Knows Best" look at his daughter, talk about a tranny!

They don't shoot Spellings do they?

Those two are just way beyond cheesy. So cheesy in fact, I predict she'll give birth to a huge wedge of Tillamook Cheddar.

I heard that "E" wanted her to be the star of a "Donkey Show Girl" reality series, but they could not find one single donkey in Mexico to fuck her. "Too ugly", one donkey was reported to say. Sad.

27 - You like it when I quickie-post, don't you, you slippery little slut?

Tori went undercover as "Taria Spooling" or something to get the part on 90210 w/o Dad even knowing about it. She's a clever and talented chick, that Tori.

no seriously, but that movie she did w/ Parker Posey was good...

Goddammit Fisher55, everthing you say makes me want to drop Napalm on MTV for churning out little mind-raped snot balls like yourself.

"Tori! I can't get my cock to fit in the syringe. How the hell are we gonna get you preggers if I can't ejaculate into this tube?"

Alexis Arquette is looking hawwtttttt

dumb bitch

Sometimes the line "Posted by Iambananas on May 9, 2006 11:25 AM " has something profound and witty written beneath it.

Her and Star Jones have a freaky resemblance to each other.

A Horse is a horse of course of course.Shit.
I've got nothing.Papa,Osh,all you guys are a tough act to follow.

Touche, Fisher55. Touche.

why am i daydreaming about an oshkosh/hotnuts orgy with a little big jim thrown in for kicks and where is dr rokter? there are fantastic things happening in my brain..... i'm going to have to step out of my office now

#38,
That pun is already taken. See #17.

Why the long face, Tori?

Sad because Dean double bagged you? (Psst! It was in case his bag fell off!)

#40 -- really, fantastic things happening in your brain?

I think it's called a hemorrhage. You might be having a stroke.

Just remember, she has had plastic surgery, that doesn't change your DNA. That poor kid will come out looking like her BEFORE she went under the knife. Poor little Elephant Trunk having no titts little thing.

Is that why she got married? I didn't even know you had to get married because you were pregnant. It looks like no one is really doing it that way, I guess marrying went out with hula hoops!

where's sherry-cu? does she just post on the scientology threads?

Jesus Fucking Christ On a Pogo Stick;

My penis goes into a coma everytime I see a picture of this horse. How is it even possible someone could impregnate her?

with her own penis, she self-impregnates. like a beautiful flower.

46 Hurley;

Today in 1950 is when gay-ron Hubbard published Dianetics. It's some kind of cult holiday. All the scientology women are required to submit to a bludgeoning with the book, without making a sound, and then help grease up the "men" for some sloppy colon-spelunking. They do it in groups of 100, behind closed doors in a conga line shaped like a double helix. Smells just like a hog-farm after a few hours. I saw the National Geographic Special about this event last week. It's called the Deep-Cleansing Ritual. Supposed to get all the concentrated evil out of every orifice.

trannygranny, that all sounded creepily realistic. well-done. at least i know where sherry-co scampered off to. i was beginning to worry.

@49

I saw that too! What did you think about the slurry of blood, feces and semen that the collected and distilled into vitamins. I found it fascinating. And who knew Tom Cruise could fit completely inside John Travolta's rectum?

51 Trotter;
I must have been taking a hit off the bong....er getting a beer from the fridge when they played the vitamin part. This must explain why all Scientologists look so healthy. I was even more amazed that Travolta could still entice all the men into the helix by perfoming that creepy little dance from "Michael". Especially with Cruises head popping out of his butt every few minutes to suck a cock.

@49 & 51
I thought you were joking about the National Geographic thing! But it makes sense; NG usually does specials on primative cultures.

@52 TrannyG

Yep. And it was eerie how Tom would squeal, "Peek-A-Boo! I suck you!"

Here's a pic of her from way baaaaaack

http://www.dreamstarlets.com/features/!bios/tori_spelling22.jpg

That Dean McDermott aka Two Face (one side of his face looks like an entirely different person than the other) had a wife when he met Ms. Fat Knees. AAAAAAAAnd, they JUST HAD their second child together when he and Ms. Fat Knees hooked up. Theeeeeeeeeeen, after they hooked up, they're all, "We can't wait to have children, then we'll have a family."

Pay attention, you home-wrecking WHOREBAG. HE ALREADY HAD A FAMILY. He had a NEWBORN baby. What goes around comes around, horseface. You just remember that when your fat-kneed cyclops baby comes out, pops your tittie into it's mouth and promptly dies because your plastic boobies pumped him full of gelatinous muck.

Man... She's in the upcoming Cthulhu movie, and now this.

How frightening will her offspring be? Especially if she tries to maintain her scrawny bod throughout. And especially if the baby gets her long face and his beady, too-close-together eyes? A skinny horse than has no peripheral vision? Bless it's heart...

He looks like Britney's husband.

57 - What's she playing? Hastur the Unspeakable?.

Mr. McDermott is certainly a braver man than I am. I mean, I'm far from the best looking guy - I could walk into a Bangkok whorehouse with a shoebox full of $20 bills and the girls would still probably say "I should, but no..." But damn, Tori is friggin' ugly.

That's what I should do - hang out with Tori Spelling so I look like an Adonis.

Survey Says !!!!!!!!!!!!

D-I-V-O-R-C-E with in 18 motnhs

Today's Globe and Mail had a big story on 'I Fuck For Money' McDermott's ex-wife, who is a semi-celebrity here in Canada. Apparently, she missed her driving test in LA, so she broke into tears and told the tester that 'My husband left me for Tori Spelling!' And that got her a passing grade. Apparently.

#57-

I am actually dying, reading your post!

There is no aphrodisiac like cold hard cash...

If you bent her over it would just be another fuzz pot and you could play whatever tricks you wanted in your mind to get the job done...

#10 & #63
I’m gonna have to agree with you boys. She’s not the hottest baby out there for sure, but I don’t think she’s that bad!!! She’s got kind of a tight little body, and all that money makes her actually quite beautiful.

Forbes has her old man’s personal worth at over a BILLION dollars… I’d wine her, dine her, fuck her, suck her, lick her… give her babies… anything she wants… hell I’d eat the peanuts out of her shit!!! Because I would rest assure that one day, and as old as her grandpa-like dad is, that day would be fairly soon, most, or at least half, of that billion with a “B” would be mine!?!?! At that point, if I wanted I could just drop the old girl off at the corral to play amongst the other ponies, and go about my business…

What an dirty filthy megalomaniac I am… it’s just terrible, and a lot fun too!

Poor Tori and her bug eyes. Guess that explains why she has a pug dog as a pet, since they say people are attracted to things that look like themselves.

You can time the length of this marriage with an egg timer....