first, fuckers

What a sicko he's even forging the baby's signature on the card.

* I know it's cheap, but I couldn't help myself

first, but then i was censored

well, he kind of blew the surprise.. mother's day isn't until NEXT sunday lol

Why is there never any mention of Isabella & Connor these days (Nicole Kidman's adoptees). Anyone would think this was Tom's first child...

#5 you hit the nail right into the cocsucker's skull. In his book, for all intents and purposes the adoptees already served their purpose: publicity.
Now they don't matter, but, THOSE were his first children, Maverick's an ass.

Has anyone actually seen pictures of Suri???

maybe mother's day is today on the scientologist calendar.

He also told Katie that the flowers were blessed by L. Ron Hubbard.

She won't be able to see the flowers when she's locked in the closet with no lights.
Not like she can see through the tears any of the rest of the time. Maybe Sherry can describe them to her.

Dear Tom:

So I see you got that whore you married a whole truckload of flowers for Mother's Day. What the fuck did you get for me, the woman who squeezed you out of her bleeding twat, you cheap piece of shit?

I spent fifty-seven hours in labor to bring your cock-loving ass into this world and all I get is a fucking e-card and a coupon for a free scientology personality test? I thought you were supposed to be some kind of fucking millionaire!

Where's my thousand bucks worth of roses? I'm so pissed that I'm tempted to post those pictures I have of you going down on Val Kilmer. You may have said you were confused about the name "Val" but everyone knows better now.

Love,

Mom

Maybe they're meat tulips? Just kidding - GOD I love that name! :)

Tom Cruise loves the cock.

Just a fact, I mean reminder...

Bastardize this, sherry-cunt:

Tom Cruise Loves The <============3

when did Tom start dating Sigourney Weaver?

Watch the David Letterman interview on thevelvethottub.com...

David: Being a star you must have an enormous staff... Dont you?

Tom: Huge.

He can celebrate the day, too. After all, he is one gay mother. Motherfucker!

I have the scoop, I spoke with the florist. Here's the story.

:spoken with lisp::
"The Lemoges is a spectacular long pink vase with raised veins of baby-blue, accompanied by two smaller globes shaped vases in the same magnificiently tender pink colorations. It will make a wonderful addition to the Cruise's boudoir. Upon, request, I am going to deliver it personally to Tom's backdoor."

Hey #6. Check out this quote from Tom just after Suri's birth...

"It's indescribable. You hold this newborn, and you realize you've got responsibilities like you've never had before."

http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/news/2006-04-23-cruise-sidebar_x.htm

Seems he never felt responsibility towards to first two...

So, which "mother" did he give these to: Katie, or the poor woman who REALLY carried Xenu Jr. to term?

Oh, and TCLTC.

The florist was laughing all the way to the bank. It seems TC is the laughingstock of the whole damn planet.

What an asshole. I bet his other kids haven't seen him since he got with Katie. Well, I guess it's better that way. Maybe Nicole can shield them from the gay freak show that is Tom "I LOVE the cock" Cruise.

I'm getting my mother a cashmere throw for mother's day, along with a handmade card that I...

What, nobody CARES about my mother's day gift? That isn't newsworthy? You don't want to read an ENTIRE article about it? My bust.

Christ Almighty, SF guy, give me some fucking gossip already!! Gossip that doesn't include Tom Cruise's mother or Lindsay Lohan's twat.

P.S. We aren't officially broken up, SF guy. Just on the rocks.

I believe in giving kudos to funny/creative posts.

#5, 11, and 18,
You all have gold stars beside your names.

Tom Cruise isn't interested in gold stars, only chocolate ones.

Oh, look! Katie's smiling and she has teeth again:

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/04/17/katie_holmes_still_really_preg.html

Thank heavens! She was lookin' mighty homeless-like for a while. And ugly. Just plain old ugly. And fat. But that was probably slightly due to being preggers and all. :)

This is a fatal flaw of many men, even if they like the cock. Never set the bar high. NEVER. Your first aniversary, Mother's day whatever, make sure her expectations from then on are low. I have spent years, living down the crappy first gift of a nice pecan log from Stuckey's-but every gift at that has been increasingly, albeit slightly, better. Do you think she ever expects me to do much better than the pecan log? If I surprise her with the gift basket of select meats and cheses, she complains, and so do all her co-workers, but a smile and I say well at least its not a pecan log and I'm home.
I knew a guy who surprised his g/f with a suprise trip, a pre-packed bag of new clothes, money to spend, 4 star hotel, the whoel works- I was impressed, really, but then I said, what do you do next year, or the next five years- you should have seen the look on his face-He is three years in going broke and can't top it- I'm ten years in and I have not peaked yet and still have money to spend on beer. Trust me on this one-she won't be disappointed if you keep the expectations low.

#29

What the fuck are you talking about? What is $900 bucks to TC?

#30
I have to agree with you... According to Forbes, TC has a person fortune worth over 750 million dollars... I think 900 hundred on flowers is barely a piss drop in the ocean for this MoFo...

Man I wish I had a tenth of what's in his bank account... even if he does love the cock!!!

#29 - That's not necessarily true. My ex surprised me with an AmEx card on his account in my name and a trip to Las Vegas for my birthday, TWO MONTHS after we started dating. Turns out, motherfucker didn't know how to spell my name - so the next card came and he still didn't have it right. Then, we get to Vegas and he doesn't plan anything to eat or shows to go to, even though he had been many times before. I spent most of the trip playing video poker because I could be close to the bar and I didn't know how to play real poker and tables were $5/10 minimum. We had sex once on the trip, when he was so wasted that I ended up putting him in the shower mid-screw. We didn't even get to the end of the summer together.
So, the moral of the story is that you can try to be ostentatous and it can totally backfire. Or maybe Tom, like mine who was also a Tom, also has a baby-dick. Or maybe she'll break that vase on his face while he's sleeping.

Was it pink peonies or pink penises (?) - I guess we're back to typo-ville.

PEONIES!!!! are you fucking kidding me? how ghetto, they're like, filler flowers, they're 50 cents a piece!!! hahahahah what a jackass, maybe on their year anniversary he'll try even harder to look "straight" and get her carnations. His lover Gregory is probably a florist, and he couldn't do any better than that. And what's up with him getting flowers in West Hollywood, the gay mecca of L.A....... For Fathers Day I think I'll send him a Tom Loves The Cock t-shirt and mug set

tom: ok katie act suprised when i come out of the closet.

katie: http://www.katieholmespictures.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=lastup&cat=0&pos=108

#30 & 31

Oh I guess you are right-so then He is a cheapskate- excpet when your $750 mill. is earmarked for L. Ron and male hookers- you just don't have that much disposable cash laying around so $900 is a significant portion of what is left after paying to get to level theta eata blow and buying underoos ro his consorts.

#35 - Are those peepers photoshopped? What the fuck? I don't even need to sleep to have nightmares now. Thanks, brewdick.

#32- call me- I won't try to impress you with my cash, I will learn how to spell your name Jacq - and I am not a baby dick. I promise I'll be a step up from your ex- he really set the bar low.

It's good to see that the nursing bra is back where it belongs: on Tom.

Wow, Suri can already WRITE!?!??! Proof of alien intelligence possibly?
Oh great Xenu.. Have mercy on my people, thee doth not mock thou greatness...

Man, Amazon woman, I mean Katie Holm-ly looks like SHIT ... She has a long way to go before she gets her old body back ... I think she needs the number for Brooke Shields trainer, as she already look as vibrant and beautiful as before she gave birth ... lmao !!!!

I'd take one look at those peonies and shove them up his ass. Hopefully the Limoges vase is the size he likes!!!

#6 it is so true, by reading all his expressions since having Suri, you would never know he had 2 other children. They were adopted at birth also, so its not like he has never dealt with a newborn...

what irks me is when I read his expressions, he always says "its sublime" wtf?

If I were TC adopted children I would be feeling alot of abandonment. Kinda sad when you think about.

Oh, remember when they were all going to seminars at the Celebrity Center to learn about what the woman's body goes through during pregnancy and then also on how to take care of a new born, and it stated that the kids were gonna have to take care of the baby in "shifts" wtf? are they hired help now or what?

ive been looking at all those pictures from the movie premiere, and what keeps going through my mind is..does her boobs really look like breast-feeding boobs? I remember when I was breast-feeding they were plump as hell, hers barely look like they are there. And its not like she was flat chested pre-pregnancy...anyone else here whos breast fed? what do you think?

#38 - That makes me feel a lot better. There's still a lot of good loving left in me. He never hit bottom - just fucked up the sides. I still owe that "inny-penis" fuck a kick to the jimmy-jammer - low bar-setter.

I just overheard my co-worker saying that she thought Tom was a really great guy... Dammit, now I'm gonna have to beat the shit out of her and get fired.

#11 LOFL

wow, i hope they never break up...i think that their "relationship" is a good thing...i think that all bitches as dumb as katie should have to be in realtionships with cock-loving wackjobs, that way they wont procreate(for real, i mean, they can pretend all they want) and there wont be all these mentally impaired, brainwashed cult babies running around...

and #11, thats the funniest fucking thing i've heard in a long time

Jacq:
Did we have a passionate affair in the summer of '92 where we said we loved each other in a tent?
Nah, probably not...

#50 - If we were both sweaty and nervous - yeah, it was me.

flowers? flowers..? FLOWERS!!!!
I don't care how much they cost: they eventually die!!!
When you're an average person or a five years old kid, flowers or a handmade card are OK, but if you are a superstar, then the less you can give is a fucking car!!!
(Oh! I get it: with a car, Kat(i)e might escape you... silly me... yeah, your fucking flowers are ok)

Never ceases to amaze me, the kind of sluttish whore you are Jacq, but each time you post it only affirms the fact that you probably fuck anything that walks. You have no class, your mouth is as filthy as your toilet, and most definitely you are so reamed out, you can take 12" without blinking an eye....totally disgusting human being...if anyone got enjoyment from a gang bang it would be you Jacq.

Your claim to fame is being crowned the most used whore BOTH online and offline...

everyone applaud the whore, she sure has earned it...hahahaha..now run along slut you have sooooo many ppl to infect with your array of STDS...busy girl you are..awww the glamorous life of a whore...

When are they ever home with this baby ??? And what does Tom do for Nicole for Mother's day ... they do have two kids together ... he's such an ass hole ... BIG TIME

Tom Cruise is a very generous and romantic man. It was not the flowers which made his gift expensive but the ultra expensive Limoges vase...

TCLTC=TOM CRUISE LOVES TO CUDDLE!!...just a reminder....

He spends time with his other children. He goes to sporting events followed by 100s of photographers who document how much he loves his children.(block the view for other parents, distract the kids while theyre playing, make the other kids hate the Cruise kids for it, fill up the parking lot so the other parents have no where to park and generally distrupt what is supposed to be a kids soccer game not a media circus)

53 You took it too far. You can't call someone a whore and talk about how big of a cock they can take when you are trying to insult them for being nasty.

Oh Sherry. I wish I could sneak beneath your greasy, plus-sized mumu and place my deft tongue within the folds of your sweet love tunnel. I would lick you clean, girl, and use your glue-like cum to seal your mouth shut as I sodomize your tight asshole. I wish I could put the beef in your taco, baby. Call me. I miss you.

31 - Well, if you love his cock or let him love yours, you probably WILL have 10% of what he's got in the bank. Hush money can get expensive, you know.

@58 - I *vomit*.......nevermind.

Flowers? That's funny! I thought I heard that for mother's day Tom was gonna let Katie watch him suck Pink's peepee

What a sweet guy he is! I can only imagine how good he is at arranging flowers. Flowers are pretty. Yeah babies. Yeah moms!

Excuse me while I go puke up my chicken dinner now.

55 - You are right. Tom is very generous and romantic. One time when he was in court suing one of the many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many *deep breath* many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many men who *wink wink* allegedly claim to have had gay sex with him, I was waiting to be tried for dynamiting a bus of school children because the voices in my head told me to do it. The DA wanted to sentence me to a maximium security psych hospital because two state pyschiatrists had declared me insane. But Tom stood up for me and told the judge that the DA and his experts didn't know about psychology. So he got me off. I went up to say "thanks" and Tom just said I could repay him by letting him blow me. I said "Well, what's in it for me?" He quit calling later.

I guess the point of that story is that you'd have to be very generous and romantic to spring a mass murderer in exchange for anonymous gay sex.

Well, not anonymous, since I knew he was Tom Cruise, and he knew that I was "People v. Itches"

Aww, what a good son.

Thats nice of him haha.

I guess Tom never learned about parallelism...or he's just really creepy signing the card "Daddy", 'cause he sure ain't Katie Holmes daddy. Unless Scientology's down with that.

i gave my mother a picture frame

doesn't matter. everyone still thinks it's a sham. 900 dollarsworth of flowers doesn't mean shit. that's like the tom cruise equivalent of buying a drink from a vending machine.

@ 55

"TCLTC=TOM CRUISE LOVES TO CUDDLE!!"
i think you may have left something out.

TOM CRUISE LOVES TO CUDDLE THE COCK!!