May 4 2006Tom Cruise changes the law

TCLTC!!!!!

Heterosexual men do not stand like that.

I bet he uses that ultrasound machine to see just how far that dude's dick can go in his bottom.

Pretty far.

actually, i think that *is* a hairpiece

Look at his hair! WFT??????

straight guys do not talk with their hands, either...that is one limp wrist, folks

Now that the baby's born, they've found a second use for that ultrasound machine - they use it on Tom's head. No joke. They fire up the Jiffy-Pop, get a case of soda, and all go into his private screening room, where everyone marvels at the image of the pea-sized mush on the screen, that use to be Tom's brain. Good times.

and is that a *cream*-colored jacket? oy.

Again with the Jewish mobster glasses.

Here is a serious question: When was the last time you saw Tom Cruise behaving normally in public?

Seriously. It's very easy to make jokes about how crazy he seems right now, but I think it is literally true. Funny and also true. That's the best kind of true.

Also, in other news: Tom Cruise likes it from behind. Also true.

Are we really supposed to believe he isn't gay? He looks like a Ricky Martin bobblehead.

I had no idea people were buying ultrasound machines in droves. Thank god for Ted Lieu, now those two bastards in the world that want to buy ultrasound machines to get daily updates on their fetus's pancreas growth will be stopped!! Next he needs to introduce a bill that would demand Tom Cruise get's a tattoo on his forehead that says "I love the cock!!"

good one, Tracie.

It makes me mad that the Unibomber sent the package's to others but not him...........

God is going to smite him...seriously. It's just a matter of time. He's gone totally fucking crazy. Oh, and he loves the cock, too...

I mean it, though. lol, and congrats on being first.

Those are some tight girl jeans he has on. This is as close to getting in a girls pants as he gets.

Those are some nice tight jeans, Tom. Way to show off the wrinkles on your stinky scrotum.

Ha, had no idea Cruising was posting the same fuckin' thing!! Great minds DO think alike...

Look at me!! I'm wearing cool jeans and a leather jacket!! I'm sooo in touch with the youth of America!!! (just ask my baby momma)

Even the government says you're insane, Tom. That's saying something!

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

@20 I actually had the word Nice in there but took it out. Freaking crazy - like Tom Cruise.

He is more than welcome to borrow my toaster oven. The only condition is that I get credit for plugging it in.

Have sales of ultra-sound machines spiked lately? Whomever sold it to him ought to be shot. Even the FDA said that there wasn't a legal way that he should have been able to get his hands on one.

All joking aside, why the hell would someone buy an ultrasound machine. Seriously WHY? Isn't the hospital enough and anyway, you wouldn't even know what was going on without any training. It'll be just like looking at a river with a blob sticking out.

tight jeans, and *no* package therein...methinks tom's a wee boy

he looks like one of the priceisright chicks

Jewish mobster glasses, bahahahahahahahaha!!! He looks so fey in that picture it's ridiculous! Did Carson Kressley dress him that morning?

Those kids don't look at that enthused to be there. More like a bit nervous...

I had a jacket like that in 1984. And I am not a dude.

Donkey farmers have seen less male ass than this cocksucker.

All gay men pretending to be straight buy ultra sound machines for their faux pregnant "girlfriends" Makes the farse more believable and it's in "How to pass as hetro for Dummies" second edition.

That blonde chick behind (above) him - MeganHarris?

BTW, what's with the "spot" on his shirt? Gee let me guess what that is...

I bought an ultrasound machine, but I thought it was just a cool name for a stereo. Boy was I disappointed when I tried to play my "Wham" album. But I did get a cool picture of my spleen.

Gasoline orange-mocha-frappucino fight, anyone?

"Wake me up, before you go-go"

he looks like a caucasian girly version of a gay ricky martin. And that is a lot of gay.
i do believe he is this close to becoming a raging queen.

...oh wait, nevermind

[tcltc_smiley]***

its shows some kind of mass mentality if an actual law has to be passed to stop ppl buying ultrashound machines because a looney tunes celeb bought one..lol..dum- dee dum dum!

he heads a long list of people seriously trudging through mid-life crisis. plus he's crazy. buh-bye!

djyuckfou:
sherry-co is that you?

He wears underwear with dickholes in them.

Pinky, you know the way to a man's heart.

Does anyone think that TC might be gay?

Holy crap, he looks like he auditioning for La Cage aux Folles.

That pic makes the Jake's pictures in his, "I'm a big bicycle fag" costume look cool.

You know Katie is saying, "Oh God, why did I marry a gay guy!"

@41

no its dad

Caption: Promotion for "Priscilla Queen of the Desert 2: Double the trouble".. It will be fan-tas-tic!

AH, they're not married yet.
look for a huge spat between them, after which kate packs up her money bags and leaves the child with cruise ooze, ala michael jackson.
then cruise can buttfuck til his heart's content. which will be forever.

Lube me up before you poke-poke
I'm a couch-jumping crazy joke-joke
Spooge my back with just one more stroke-stroke
Fuck my hiney tonight...

Hey, I think I found the original lyrics to wake me up before you go-go. Funny thing, they apply to GM as well as TC!

TCLTCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!

It seems to me as if Mr Lieu is a complete moron beacause there is nothing dangerous about ultrasound. This dumbass is confusing it with roentgen. Besides, i find it strange that in a country which has a constitution that states that everbody has the right to own as many weapons as they want, somebody is trying to forbid something that is as innocuous as an ultrasound machine!!!

I also recommend that scientologists:
-run with scissors
-play in traffic
-attempt to swim across the pacific ocean
-feed the bears
-take vacations in Iraq wearing t-shirts that say "Allah blows"

HE'S WEARING KATIE'S JEANS!!!!!

Tom is stuck in the 80s! Nice aviator glasses and "Members Only" jacket.

if it looks like a crazy and it acts like a crazy, then it is indeed a crazy! Tom, where did it all go wrong? I can barely remeber a time when he was normal, but im sure the world was a better place
http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com

Those jeans are proof that he has a mangina and Katie is really the man in the relationship and that they did that thing from Arnold Schwartenegger's movie, Junior.
Or maybe all those loose shirts were just there to cover her dick.

im happy californias only problem is ppl buying ultrasounds, its a good job they quickly passed that one..with it being top prioriy and all

there is nobody left interested in this woman right? how is she still getting attention?

It is necessary to say to Tome Cruise which I sell the moon a handsome price in this moment... And I think of being able to sell to him Jupiter in little time, but the business is in hand! my number is 555-555-555! Quickly Tom, it is a superb business which I have for you and your family that it is necessary to protect from the human ones !!

http://bilybop.free.fr let me a message !!

He's trying to look like he just rode his motorcycle on over to the interview. He's going for the bug splattered windblown effect.

@djyuckfou (#55)

RIGHT MAN!!!!!!!!

#57:

Uh, speeky englush?

I think the true caption for this is:

"I love the cock, and it's FABULOUS!"

With the arm going up on "fabulous".

I'm growing so bored of him. Why can't Paris Hilton crash her car or something?

@42 the thing is, the dickholes are in the back for easy access........

those kids look bored as fuck

No words can describe how the love of cock and everything Hubbard related has disturbed this man.

I'm putting a call out to all snipers...DO YOUR THING. The one who accomplishes this much needed public service will get a reward. There will also be a shiny new donkey for whomever brings me the head of General Montoya...

this does it...I am now a confirmed Xenuphobe and will carry a card in my wallet that says "in case of overdose do not call NARCONON"

I have one word for the next person to make fun of "Wham".

REPORTED

or is it NARCANON? either way, keep those crazy fucks away from me!

Digypoke. vous etes un pouffiasse pédé. Va te faire foutre! Et aussi , babelfish.com. ça ne marche pas.

TC makes George Michael look like a truck driver

Those Sassoon 1978 are really sexy, Tom. Nobody loves the cock more than you.

Wham... Did George Michaels think of that name one hot, sweaty night? I think he did, as in, "I'm gonna ram my dick in your ass! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!"

Somebody tell me, won't you tell me, why I do these things for cock?
Oh, it gives me tingles!
Oh, it gives me tingles!

I forgot something. George Michaels loves Edna's cock.

It's ironic that someone so obsessed with the pregnancy of his "child" would leave his newborn and girlfriend to promote his shitty movie. Boycott MI3! #70, lmao with your comment.

Thank you, #74! It's all about the publicity. Now reinvigorated from his placental consumption, Tom is on the move while Katie tries to recover at home, counting the dollar bills in her bank account and the years before she can 'appropriately' ditch this cock-loving, loose-assed closet case.

I second the motion: BOYCOTT MI3!!!

I can't wait for MI: 3. It's going to be awesome... Tom Cruise might be a little weird, but he's a good actor and he's entertaining. And, you have to admit it, he's a really nice guy when he's not couch jumping... then he's a little too excited, lol.

He isn't really a good actor though is he? All he does is run everywhere... and love the cock.

If you don't like Tom Cruise... you're not invited to the party. Lol, that was cute.

He's like one of the few celebrities posted a lot on this site that I like... can't stand Paris or Lindsey or any others like that... but Tim Cruise is kind of cool, like he just wants to be happy and dosen't care what other poeple think.

Well, I don't "can't stand" Paris... she is just out of touch with the real world... lol, I'm doing like 200 comments.

ABD BTW... PARIS GOT KICKED OFF AMERICAN IDOL LAST NIGHT.... THANK GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*I didn't like Paris' deep voice and screaching... it was painful to my ears... maybe that's what's wrong with Celean??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AUTHOR: Providentius
EMAIL: beggingcub@hotmail.com
IP: 74.12.73.152
URL:
DATE: 05/04/2006 12:28:17 PM
AUTHOR: Providentius
EMAIL: beggingcub@hotmail.com
IP: 74.12.73.152
URL:
DATE: 05/04/2006 12:28:17 PM

Lol, a blank post... that's what the people who just write "first" on the first one... lol... just leave it blank.

"I'm not gay!

WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

@15 add lambananas to the list of missed unibomber targets because we could do without that dumb bitch too.....Do us all a favor lambananas and go play on interstate 95 when it's not rush hour..........

for some reason, the only thing i hear when i see that pic is him saying, " and don't i look FABULOUS!!!!" in the most sing-song gayish way you can say that.

fuck, i don't even wear my pants that tight.

Lambananas, can you please post something new?
"Tim Cruise is kind of cool, like he just wants to be happy and dosen't care what other poeple think." I believe you said this yesterday, in another post. And I believe it's TOM. And this little gem:

"If you don't like Tom Cruise... you're not invited to the party. Lol, that was cute." ReallY?

And if he was as good an actor as you seem to think, he'd be able to act convincingly enough to make people think he was not a total gay wackjob. TCLTC.

No offense, of course.

um. no.

anyway. Tom Cruise is too old to be on TRL , but he and Robin Williams get a pass, because they are not "real" people, they are robots!

@88

"No offense, of course."

Hmm, well, I think you should have said "lots of offense, of course" because lameassbastard is perhaps the biggest idiot to ever comment on The Superficial. MeganHarris has officially been dethroned as "Most Stupid Person Ever" and has been replaced by lambananaintheass. If lambananas speaks again, a black hole will spontaneously appear and suck her/him/it into it's silky darkness, and he/she/it will never see the light of day again. At least, that's what I'm hoping.

Mamacita,
I choose the high road of sarcasm. It's lots more fun up here.

This picture was totally taken out of context. He is just doing the one-handed Macarena. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

@91

I never take the high road. I guess it's because I'm a Mexican.

Well than I guess that just makes me a sarcastic Mexican.

@94

Check out #51 on the Tom Cruise thread. lambananas is no Mexican, sarcastic or otherwise. He/she/it's just a stupid fucking moron.

Have you noticed how lambananas, sherry-co, notex001, etc... always show up to defend TC? That's because it's their JOB to do so. They are members of Scientology's OSA (office of special affairs), which is like the cult's KGB. They will do anything possible to make their cult and cult puppet look not quite so evil and pathetic to the average joe. Once again, OSA's actions come back to bite them in the ass!

Back on topic: Is TC trying to get on "Queer Eye"? I haven't seem him wear a hetero outfit for a while. TCLTC.

#49 Mercenary

Actually Ultrasound machines can be very dangerous, too many ultrasounds have been shown to cause hearing loss and even deafness in children which is why they aren't using them weekly during pregnancy. Additionally it's a big machine, in Toms enthusiasm to give Riki Martin a Blow-Job he could knock it over onto Katie and hurt her.

@94

Whoops. That was the Billy Zane/Beaver Lady thread, not the Tom Cruise thread. Because THIS is the Tom Cruise thread and I had a small aneurysm while I was typing.

@96

"Back on topic: Is TC trying to get on "Queer Eye"? I haven't seem him wear a hetero outfit for a while. TCLTC."

No. I think it's more likely that he's just trying to get a "Queer Guy in the Brown Eye".

TCLTC, yes, he is an idiot and he is ABOVE the law!

just to round it out to 100,

tom cruise loves the cock. forever and ever.

His hair really does look like a toupee. A few more cors feet and self tan and he will start to look like that puppet "Madam"

TCLTC=TOM CRUISE LOVES TO CUDDLE....just a reminder...

Wow, at first i thought. Yeah he's a bit insane or maybe sometimes he's joking. When i heard Katie's pregnant, ok, not funny... Now untra osund machine???

WTF???!!!! I have the feeling that he just wants to keep her pregnant. FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!

Tom Cruise: Hmmm... let's see how i can find ways of manipulating Kate, oh yes, i need to make her fans stop calling her katie. Maybe get her pregnant, as many times as i can. Just make sure my rejuvenation (trophee wife) doesn't realize i'm just an old prick who wants to feel 20, sucking up her youth and making her bear children.

I want her to look older drastically, so let me change her name and make it public. I got a good plan, let me fuck up her life as much as i can so that when she realizes the mistake she made and how insane i am. It's too late, she'll be older unattractive and with 5 kids.

Oh yes, ultrasound machine, to hint her theirs many children to come!!!!

Mamacita, I meant, I am a Mexican too. SO that makes me a sarcastic Mexican. Get it?

#102
Are you a robot? Programmed to love, honor and cherish all that is Scientology and Tom Cruise? Because you really need to get new material. It's just not funny, entertaining, or worth the space you wasted typing it. Poor space #102. It just never had a chance. *sob*

@104

Yeah, I know. I got it when you first said it. But, now I'm confused. Why'd you think I didn't get it?

You know what. I'll take that back, fuck him!

It sounds more like a father than an insane husband. WTF?!

Katie change your name, your a child bearing woman. You are now "Kate" Fuck your parents bullshit name.

Kate, your pregnant, don't ask. You just are...

Kate, you now believe in scientology.

Kate, i will put a pacifier on your mouth while you push my spawn. I SWEAR IF I HEAR YOU SCREAM, YOU WILL TRAUMATIZE BABY "pointy nosed pickpocket!

Kate, i love you, but i love my money. Go ahead, divorce me, I've known my money before you.

Kate, ignore my new ultra sound machine.

Kate, come with me to watch mission impossible stunts thereby creating a phobia of my death. So that you'll cling to me for even longer.

Kate,... Tell me im pretty

@105
Cuz you said lambananas is no Mexican, sarcastic or otherwise.

But now I get what you mean. So nevermind.

I think I'll go shoot myself now.

WORK IT TOM! What a HOTTIE! HE looks like he's at least 25. sigh..

#76. That's cool! Man, there are some hateful people here! Your a breath of fresh air! There is too much hate all around.

Too much hate???! This is thesuperficial, i doubt you came here to throw roses at celebrities!

"I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it"

Lamebananass was preaching about love, kindess and celebrity worship all over the site yesterday. Then she advocated sending all the "illegal immigrants who are taking over the country" back home.

She's a xenophobic twat with a third grade education. And I think she might be a lesbian. Unlike MeganHarris who is a child abducting, 59 year old pre-op transsexual.

I think I hate Lamebananass more than Tom Cruise loves the cock. And that's alot.

Fuck the ultra-sound. Can we just make a law against Tom Cruise living?

*burns her shrine to Mariah Carey*

Tom Cruise is my favourite diva now.

"It's raining men! Hallelujah! It's raining men! Aaaaaaaamen!"

Probably not the best song selection there, Tommie.

Or was it:

"I'm so excited!
And I just can't hide it!
I'm about to suck a dick
and you know I like it!"

I cant believe that guy gets paid to do anything. Eating placenta? WTF?!?!? Ultrasound machine for the home? Is he joking? Maybe he can use the ultrasound machine to protect the Scientologists from that Xemu alien or whatever if the duracel batteries run out or something.

http://www.xenu.net/archive/leaflet/xenuleaf.htm

Tom Cruise is like a bad failed science experiment. If he would just take ritalin- he might become normal. Oh and whoever thinks he can act- you should leave the house more often. Seriously.

Tom Cruise loves the cock.

Does anyone else see Miami Vice with this guy's outfit? Hideous.

This is for you guys.

http://tinyurl.com/mg55q

TCLTC!!

Children, children, you're only ansry and raising your blood pressure by calling me stupid because you have no self esteem... stop obsessing over waht I say and stop worshiping me. I think you sit in front of your computer waiting for me to post to make your lives exciting.

Wow, that was good, I REALLY am bananas b-a-n-a-n-a-s!

angry*

sherry-co, that was fucking righteous!

lambananas, stupid as usual

Is he re-enacting Zorro the Gay Blade?

"Now sweeng jour heeps! Flop jour wreests! Say 'Joo naughty evil Alcalde!'"

Two bits
Four bits
Six bits
A peso!
All who think Tom's gay
Stand up and say so!

"And I-e-I will always love co-o-ock! Will always love co-o-ck!"

Tom just handed you your ass, Whitney!

I agree, that would be a good idea.

#109

Fuck off you insipid cunt

#120

did your mommy write that for you, shit-for-brains?