May 11 2006Tatyana Simanava might be a genius

First!!!

Oh wow, now my whole life is complete, I've been first. I didn't see mto have much competition, probably because nobody knows who this bitch is.

up till now, i only expected that kind of smarts from paris hilton

Wow, I just read the article, what a fucking retard. How do you even step off a moving bus anyways? And don't most buses have windows on the doors? And wouldn't you have the feeling of moving? Too bad she didn't die, or she'd be up for a Darwin award. Jesus fucking Christ. Finally someone dumber than Paris fucking Hilton, Paris must be celebrating by spreading the super-herpes around. After all, sharing is caring.

@3-

Dammit. Sorry, didn't read your post. I thought I was talking to myself here.

Do you think there was that one guy on the bus watching this unfold and was thinking, "she won't do it, no way" and then, "holy shit she actually did it, she walked off the fucking bus!"
Amazing, if models are all this dumb it's a wonder one doesn't kick it every 14 minutes.

I guess her heroin induced coma she didn't notice the F-N bus was still moving? What a dumbass. This doesn't even make sense. You go take a crap in the john and then, poof, suddenly you're at the door you came in on? What the??? What a dumb bitch.

hahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahaha

That shit's hilarious. WTG Tatyana Simanava! You just made my day :D

If only Lindsay Lohan could make the same mistake...

You have to be mighty fucked up to walk off a moving bus. I'm guessing the picture posted there is the "after" shot. Yikes. Thank God her hair is covering most of that.

I'm guessing hairbrushes are a black market commodity in post-Soviet Russia.

it's easy to get confused in seemingly obvious situations - like when i had to choose between putting my monstrous wang into a glory hole or near the dirty woman on the floor screaming "give it to me and i choppy choppy!" you'd be surprised about the mistakes you make when disoriented. You'd also be amazed at the quality of prosthetic wangs available these days.

Don't be so mean, back in Russia it's easier to see that you are moving because the open-air cart isn't as confusing as the big bus-sy things they have in Amerika. PLus if you fall off, it doesn't hurt as much because the mule is only travelling at about 3 MPH.
Stupid whore.

#4 - I laughed so hard I think I got snot on my keyboard.

When you're emaciated you can't think straight... she was probably hallucinating and thought she was running away from a sandwich.

god, women are so stupid

glupaya dyevichka.

"running away from a sandwich" made me laugh aloud.

#7 What on earth makes you think she was going to crap?

She was just going in there to throw up. Coke upsets your tummy. Now, after being hospitalized, they've gotten her all fat again with saline IV's.
I've never seen a bus door that didn't have a window on it. Maybe they were driving in English and she just didn't get it.

It's probably something more effed up like those girls from Lithuania who get bought and sold into prostitution. She was jumping to freedom. Dumb bitch.

The short bus is tricky.........

this is what happens when we let immigrants into the country and let them ride anything other than mass transit

Let me get this straight, there was a moving bus full of models and no childproof locks on the doors?

It was an accident waiting to happen all along. *sigh*

#9 HAHA, yeah from the looks of that photo she got *really* banged up

I love, too, that after the door was open and she HAD to see the pavement, she took the leap anyway. Models. Pffft.

Was that photo taken post-fall? Or maybe it was taken as she was about to jump? Dammit, just saw #9. What can't you people let me be funny?!

She looks like the girl from The Ring - only with blond hair.

#22 - I bet that's not all she can bang!! Snap!

yeah, i mean how is she supposed to tell she's falling out of the bus with all that hair in her face?

Wow, its not often you don't know somebody's name one name and they become your personal hero the next....um actually I still don't know her name.

I guess at least she wasn't trying to go to the bathroom and fell out of a window.

That is fucking hilarious! I love it. Now why can't that happen to someone like...I dunno...sherry-co?

Hey inspector - bring that Prosthetic wang over here. That's right. Prosthetic with a capital P.

her name is Tyvemva Symehjnevea

If she wanted to get off the bus that badly she could have flushed her skinny ass down the toilet, but I guess she may not be familiar with indoor plumbing.

#30 - can't we just call her Stolichnaya?

No one's mentioned yet how this could have alternately been a suicide attempt, covered up as "disorientation."

Yeah, everyone can have a good laugh that it may have been a freak accident of stupidity, but on the other hand it's always better to question the reality versus what other people i.e. thesuperficial.com are feeding you.

Just remember to think before you accept.

In Russia, the bus rides you.

32, "Roadkill Stolichnaya"

33 - shut up. I have had people close to me commit suicide so I am (and I'm sure most here) are well aware of the "realities" of life.

Just shut the fuck up next.

She got off that bus so damn quickly...

where do you think she was Russian to?

35 - Sounds like a cocktail.

Roadkill Stolichnaya

2 parts Stoli
1 part orange juice
1 part lime juice
1 part pommegranit juice (for that blood red effect).

OMG.... that sounds so good... I think I'll mix one up tonigt

Absolut Retard.

cant..stop...laughing

40, hahahahahahaha

hahahahahaha

#38 - You forgot 2 parts matted gravel-laden blond hair

That's awesome Jacq...what would the cocktail mix be for that one?

I'd hit it!

Now how does a model go and get disoriented just from making a visit to the bathroom? Oh, big mystery! Why didn't she just do her lines out in the living area with the other models?

47 - I dunno. In Russia they have to stand in line for toilet paper. Maybe seeing a Charmin Big Roll was too much for her to handle.

It wasn't accidental. It was either the fact that she actually had her first bowel movement in three years and fled in mindless terror, or she was doing a shoot for Calvin Klein's new Roadkill line. That's the perfume that smells like dead possum with the tagline "no one comes between me and my Calvin, except a city bus going 40 miles per hour."

#40 Jacq, you are en fuego today. SOM MLEF (my loins en fuego).

Saucie -OUT

she had too many pills that morning!

http://antiamericanidol.blogspot.com/

I wonder what the car behind the bus thought.

What I'm curious about is why in God's name were they doing a photo shoot in Staten Island. Why would anyone do a photo shoot here?

She's quite stupid.

#52 - I don't believe cars are able to think.

And who said that nothing good comes from heavy drugs?

This just in....

Tom Cruise now second stupidest person in the world.

As Yakov Smirnoff would say, "In America, beautiful young women fall out of moving busses. In Russia, beautiful young busses fall out of moving women!

What a country!

#55
What?!!
You mean those autos in Disney-Pixar's "Cars" aren't real? Sonnuvabitch. Now they're just effing with me.

#55 obviously you haven't seen this

http://www.thesuperficial.com/2006/04/26/paris_hilton_still_has_a_mclar.html

Clearly cars can in fact think because everyone knows she's braindead.

Pity there wasn't another bus behind hers moving at the same speed. She'd be in the afterlife still trying to do the math.

Why are people stupid? It's beyond me!

#6 - "Should I tell her? Nah fuck it, this is too good; I have to see this."

The worst part is that after she fell out of the bus, she just used the bathroom on the freeway. That was gross.

Supermodels don't have to be smart. they have to be pretty.

I hate lambananas.

But TCLTC.

I heard that Lamebananas fell off a bus before, she was trying to lick the window but it was open.........

@64 so your saying your a genius........

I don't know if that's necessarily true #64.

First, none of these dime a dozen models qualify as "supermodel" in the same way that Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell and Schiffer et al. did at their peak.(no Janice Dickinson doesn't count) They were so big that they are still making profits from their agencies, so at least they had enough business savy to invest wisely. I doubt any of these airheads is ever gonna be a household brand.

Cindy Crawford never fell out of no moving bus either.

I'm glad that every time I was in a squallid little steel box with a chemical water hole (euphamistically referred to as a "bathroom") on the bus I was:

A) In there for the express purpose of getting high and *nothing* else.
B) Safe and secure in a small room where, no matter how fucked up I got, there was no means of egress.

Thanks, Greyhound. I never realized how often you saved my life.

#69

*squalid

Do they refuse to admit that she did drugs in the bathroom and stumbled off the bus in a dazed stupor? Kids, this is your brain on drugs.

I too receive a mordid pleasure from this story.

oops....i really hope someone caught this on film lol

#59 & 60... I stand corrected.

Ok, this "supermodel" thing is getting out of control! She is not a SUPERmodel. Just a regular, plain old model.

I watch a lot of tv and read all the celebrity mags and I have never seen her face or heard her name before today. Does she have as much money as Cindy Crawford? Has she ever been in Us Weekly or In Touch? Has she ever been arrested for beating her assistant with a cell phone? Ok, then NOT a supermodel. JC!

#71 - you got it, man... this model was on coke, heroin or both...

Hmmm after you do a few lines in the toilet your always going to forget where you are, where you have to go, who's penis is inside of you....all that stuff.

Its an occupational hazzard

Everytime a model falls, an angel get his winds... where did I hear that? I think it was on E!.

Naw. I'm both. I'm smart and pretty!

Well, when all you've "eaten" in the past week is cocaine and diet coke, things get a little fuzzy.

She was quoted as saying:

I zon't vknow vat happened *giggles* I azz no howz youzay brains? only poozy yez yez only poozy *giggles stupidly*

wow, that is awesomely stupid. i am actually quite impressed byhow dumb that is.
http://celebreligion.com

Let me make sure I got this right. We're ignoring Lamebananas and being nice to Sherry-co, Got it.

Can we still fuck with MeganHarris? Because she just said she was smart and pretty...

I'd prefer ignoring both lamebananas and sherry-co, just because they're both raving lunatics.
I don't have a problem with MeganHarris, as long as she doesn't start proclaiming her undying adoration of TC or tries to shove Scientwatogy down our throats.

Here's my new catchphrase for Scientology:

Scientology: Serving up Crazy Since 1952

#81... POOZY! Ha! I love it!

#81... Tom Cruise no like das poozy. He likes, how you zay?... das cook!

Awww, DAMN!!! And she was so close to winning that coveted Darwin Award too!

How fuckered up did that bitch have to be to pull something that monumentally retarded?

Just keep her off airplanes...or she'll kill everyone on board.

Awww, DAMN!!! And she was so close to winning that coveted Darwin Award too!

How fuckered up did that bitch have to be to pull something that monumentally retarded?

Just keep her off airplanes...or she'll kill everyone on board.

Yeah, ignoring me... we'll see how long that lasts... children can't stay to a plan... ever.

Long time listener, first time caller.

I just want to say you guys make my day at work....today was even better with this string.

I was on a teleconference and sipping coffee waiting for my turn to brief and I start reading this string. Nothing like coffee coming out the nose and choking right before briefing. I dont think I quite hit the professional "appearance" I was going for - but damn, it was worth it!

Cant post at work - I do security engineering and this thing hits on my "email" restriction, so I will have to lurk and post at night.

To show I have learned from the wonderful posters here: TCLTC! Blessings

I think her Model agency didn't want to mention she was 'Iced' up to the eyeballs

Well, time to hit the road....

The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round,

The Russian on the bus falls out the back, out the back, out the back,

The Russian in the street spins round and round, round and round, round and round.

The traffic on the road goes Honk! Honk! *swerve*, Honk! Honk! *swerve*, Honk! Honk! *swerve*

The drivers in the cars yell "Stupid bitch!", "Stupid bitch!", "Stupid bitch!"

The posters on the 'Fish go hahaha, hahaha, hahaha

Erm, yeah. That about does it.

#90 -- you are both a gentleman and a scholar. Unless you're a woman, of course... then, a dame? a lady? an abba fan?... and a scholar.

I'm glad to see she's sporting a fur coat. Long live the Russian stereotype! What the picture DOESN'T show is the cigarette in one hand, a fifth of vodka in the other, the sickle and hammer tattooed on her lower back. Rock on, comrad.

It is now that I finally realise that the movie Zoolander was really a documentary and not a comedy.

NYET, NYET!! *splat*

Just say no kids

92 Perfection

98 I did say no. But I passed out and Pete Doughtery injected me. Now I am hooked. But there is a lovely portrait of me drawn with my own blood in the dining room.

Can some people please send porn to my email address:

ringo5150@hotmail.com

I am at work and cannot access it.

The sicker the better..thanks

Ringo

101 Male on Male, Female on Female, Male on Female, Male with Dog, Male with Goat? sunnyside up or scrambled?

Sweetcheeks--pure gold. Communism is so retro.

#94 Oh damn that is hysterical! That was my daughter's favorite song when she was little.

#95. Thank you thank you. I am female - dame is fine with me.

#100 Hopefully it isnt the picture with the saggy boobies. LOL

Maybe it was really a bus full of mail order brides and she was getting while the getting was good.

Have you seen those guys on the documentaries. heebeejeebees

I didn't know Axl Rose was moonlighting as a Russian model.

http://www.gnrlies.com/Images/Axl/axl006.jpg

Oh my Pagan Queen...give me your email address and I'll cc you on the email to 101.

Oh my god, this story is just too fucking funny for words!! I laughed so hard I cried reading this!!
What a dumbass this bitch is!! I love it!
(and will forgive all the dumb blonde comments!) : )

Geez you guys! She was only trying to get the right "look" for the fasion show for Mugatu's RoadRash collection. It's coming out this Fall, you should all check it out.

I wonder who would have been the eugoogalizor at her funeral if she died.

This has nothing to do with the fact that she's a dumb bleached-out brunette (as the vast majority of "dumb blondes" are).

She was probably high on some fabulous designer drug that none of US could afford, and drunk on top of that, stumbling about in a state of utter rich-beautiful-model-with-unlimited-party-money uphoria, muttering joyous thoughts to herself in Russian, when this happened.

I can't think of a better way to stumble off a moving bus, personally.

I don't have anything to say, but that story made me smile so I had to comment!

@93 and 94 o my god, so fucking funny...........

Liya, did you ever wonder why the guy at the grocery store always bagged your head and never the groceries, there was a reason for it you ugly bitch.

#93 & #94 That was so funny it made my ass pucker....I shall now forever hold my head lower than yours

@ 96 - She thinks Zoolander is a Documentary too, she's all dolled up for Derelict.

Let me get this straight. She can sashy down a runway with bright lights in her fucking face, in high heels that are 6inches tall, wearing uncomfortable clothes, in front of very judgemental pricks (fashion icons) with hairspray all over her eyes and face and she cant walk out a fucking bathroom!! Oh! I am so sorry, ...a tiollette'. Dosvydana bitch (yeayea I know I spelled it wrong)

Eeeeeveryone knows models are ambiturners. The reason she went out the door was because she can't turn left. Duh!!

this chick might just be dumb enough to take a ride in my pimpmobile

Oh, those funny supermodels. When they're not sticking their hat-rack shaped bodies into ugly, overpriced designer duds, they're falling out of a bus or licking the dew off the grass for their lunch after they snort up their coke breakfasts. What a hoot!

I didn't think it was possible for someone to be more stupid than Paris Hilton, but here she is. What a fucktard.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
FIRST
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha
TCLTC
hahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahah

# 75. "Ok, this "supermodel" thing is getting out of control! She is not a SUPERmodel. Just a regular, plain old model."

It's like "Porn Star" nowadays; you suck one cock on tape and - BOOM - you're a "STAR".

Suck hundreds in the closet...

...and Scientology hands you a series of increasingly younger beards.

Во первых!

This is sheer brilliance, I swear. I've had dreams of coked-out models accidentally tossing themselves from luxury buses on the way to fashion shoots. I just can't believe it actually happened though...how weird is that?!
I actually hope I dream that Paris Hilton does this, cause it would be SWEET!

If Paris did it, some Hollywood idiot would give her a TV show about it...

(...and a video game... and a fragrance... and a soup... and an action figure... and a... )

What's really stupid is that this 'retarded model' fell off the bloody bus two fucking days ago!

Just in case anyone was wondering why Russia has slipped into obscurity and uselessness....you now have your answer. its filled with people like tatayana fucking stolidipshit

I'd love to have seen that. Especially if she landed with her ass in the air, unconcious...and no one else was around

#37...OMFG..LOL!!!

Unfortunately you're approaching this like an American. We have a "lawsuit-happy" nation where we're protected from stupid stuff, like doors that don't auto-lock when a bus is in motion. I was on a bus in Europe many years ago that had a door to the outside that was right next to bathroom door. The only safety measure was the driver warning us. The doors literally looked identical except for a small "vacant/occupied" sign. It struck me that it wasn't the most sane design. Indeed, it's the sort of thing that happens in Europe where you can't really sue people in the same way that you can here. In the US, liability issues would force some kind of locking mechanism or a redesign so that people didn't have to choose Door One for doing "Number One" and Door Two to Certain Death.

Except for the fact that when you open them, one has a toilet and the other has fucking pavement whizzing past at 80kms an hour.

Retard.

i hate scalpers. apeshits

#79 - Jack of all trades, master of none.

"Like mistake the bathroom door for the exit door and step off a moving bus onto a freeway at 40 mph."

you mean she mistook the exit door for the bathroom door? otherwise, it doesn't make sense.

what is all the russian hate for? i don't see you d-bags write about how germany and norway are such terrible backwards swamps when paris hilton flashes yet another beaver at a swanky gala, but when some russian blonde model does something equally stupid, you have to point out an imaginary decline and a technological simplicity worthy of the middle east. methinks all you know about russia, or the rest of the world for that matter, is what the next man tells you. don't be an idiot.
and yeah, she's a stupid bitch.

What happened to being concerned about a human being hurting his or her self? I'm absolutely shocked that we can't at least address the idea of wishing her good health and a speedy recovery. Perhaps we've not all done something this stupid, but it isn't beyond the realm of comprehension that us "every day" people don't get stupid done on a daily basis. Kind of like hmmmm, let me see here.....Oh, kind of like attacking a complete stranger because she has a glamorous life, makes more money than you, is better looking than you or someone you'll never get close to dating if you're a man. Yeah, something like that. You people are pathetic.