gak

I think we found who Jack The Ripper is.

I'm not impressed. Now if they were poo paintings, then we'd have a story. And my 4 year paints better than that.

There's no better proof that you are a nice and stable individual who is NOT into drugs thaaaaaaaaaaaan.......wait, wait, for it...

....yes, blood paintings.

Awww my first "first" post. I would like to thank the academy, Land-Man's ginormous member, Megan Harris for being so fugly, and last but not least Edna for her constant dilusions that God gives a shit what she thinks

Blood paintings? Seriously? Wait, that still doesn't sound like a logical explanation. Try again, Freak.

The instruction book my ten foot pole came with had an entire chapter dedicated to Pete Doherty's blood.

I like to draw pictures with my used tampon but I never call it art.

Next in the series is a self-portrait made by fingerpainting with feces. Feces he secured from passed fan.

I meant "passed out."

I like that he managed to get "boobies" into the painting.

Let me get this straight: Injecting heroin into passed out person is bad...ok, got it.
Drawing blood from a passed out person? Check! I can totally go mainstream with what I thought was my sickening personal fetish! Sweet!

CruisingForCock=pics w/ tampon=scalding coffee out the nose

Pic-ASS-o.

Wow. That's CRAPTASTIC. How disheartening that he could make so something that's so completely devoid of any talent and still be able to sell it, strictly because of his "fame". That kind of makes me want to kill myself.

I like to jerk off on to a blank piece of paper because it's like a box of chocolates, you never know what picture your gonna get, usually a map of Hawaii.......

Reason #167 why Pete Doherty just screams "Full Body Condom" to me.

Doesn't everybody know this person by Freshman year in high school? Isn't he always the asshole sitting in the back of English class who likes to use words like, "trite" and "hackneyed". And everybody hates him, but that only makes him stronger and more powerfully soulful. Until the day when he writes a farewell poem and swallows a handful of Advil right after gym class and gets his stomach pumped. And grief counselors come to school and everybody talks about their feelings. That guy rocked. We got to miss school for like a week.

@17..Doherty would be exactly like that guy, if that guy smelled like a dumpster and had a rat inefested sewer for a mouth.

Boy, slow weekend eh?

Again, I ask: Who the fuck is this asscrumb?!

#14 kind of like Ethan Hawke's book or Jewels book of "poetry" or Nicole Richies "book" or even Paris' "book?" Ugh what garbage. Celebs should stick to acting like idiots so that we can make fun of them..oh wait, those books are idiotic things. These "paintings" take the cake. Loser!

Okay, the world has officially gone mad. I am going to stay in my underground bunker until it is safe again. Why would anyone want a painting from that lymie douchebag? I love England and its people, but I can't stomach turds like him. Please overdose and do us all a favor.

Wow, what an ar-teest. Can this guy disappear from my planet already? I agree with #17, in fact, i dated "that guy", he used to position himself in his apartment window so that everyone could see him typing tortured memoires on his typewriter, and drinking from a bottle of Jack Daniels. And then he'd invite everyone over to his place where he'd set up all his drug paraphernalia and made it look not-on-purpose, along with dusty old copies of Dante's Inferno that he never even read, so everyone could see what a deep poetic tortured person he was. Then he'd have some sort of dramatic I'm-going-to-kill-myself-if-you-don't-stay-with-me-forever moment and pretend like he was going to throw himself off the balcony, and say something in Latin. Yep. I know that guy.

Does this mean I can sell my used maxi pads?! I'm gonna be rich!

Didn't know Peter Doherty was 5 years old...

#23 - Please tell me it WASN'T Pete and you pushed him over the ledge.

Is the thing on the quasi-lower left a finger painting of what is actually looks like to smoke crack? Kate Moss on the lower right, your titties are showing.

Remember that gorilla who used to paint, I think her name was Koko or something? She has more talent than this fucktard. What a loser, Pter, a gorille has more artistic talent than you, please go kill yourself now.

Who is Pete Doherty? He and Angelina should get together.
I personally like to make fingerpaintings from a paste consisting of one part cream of Tom Cruise, two parts Lambananas' vag discharge, a smattering of Edna's eczema flakes for consistency, and a pinch of Sherry-co's feces (the all-Cheeto diet produces the most unique excrement).

@7

SOM! That made me nearly piss myself. Touche, good sir, well played indeed.

*Pete
*gorilla

Stupid keyboard

Just FYI MLAB b/c I SOM.

On Loan From Scotland Yard it's
THE PETE DOHERTY RETROSPECTIVE!

1. Paintings!
(medium: Od'd Fan's Blood on Wrinkled Xerox Paper)

2. Collage!
(medium: Pete's various Warrants & Subpoenas)

3. Etchings!
(medium: Dirty Exacto onto Pocket Mirror)

4. Sculpture!
(medium: Clay, Half-Melted Spoons, Crack-Pipe Resin)

4. Perfume!
(Pete's Halitosis BOTTLED!)

5. Multi-Colored Jewelry!
(Pieces of Pete's last remaining teeth)

#3 - I am sorry. For your daughter. What mother lets her kids play with feces?

Blood paintings? That's sorta cereal.

Also, I won't name names, per se, but that was not funny. You know who you are, and you should be ashamed.

Great, now we can all get AIDS and herpes from his paintings. Finally!

He probably made a whole bunch of them really quickly so he could convince people he wasn't shooting up a passed out fan. But the fact remains...whatever he did to her she was out of it when he did it.

I'm betting Tom Cruise will blow this guy but won't kiss him, his breath probably smells way too bad.

Yeah, right, and I heard that when Tom Cruise got caught with a cock in his mouth he said it was because he needed more supplies for the spooge painting he was doing.

Who is this guy and why do we care??????

Stallion;

I just gave it a shot, and I'll be damned, I got a map of Indonesia..uncanny how accurate it is.
And yes, that was also a slur against Muslims.

Next I am going to draw a picture of Moe-ham-udd with my taint.

Oh, yeah baby, Mohamed has HAM in it!!!!

Just had round 2 and this time believe it or not, it resembles MeganHarris, all white and pastey.........Then Tom Cruise came out of nowhere and licked it up ruining my masterpiece.......Nasty fucker

harddy har har. This blood thing is so gross. I can't even look at it. yuck!

@42 Thats funny I said the same thing when I saw your picture........

#34 - I think you meant surreal, but I don't have beef with you so I'll let it go. I know it must have been an accident to get per se and goof cereal.

#41 - I don't call them masterpieces - I call 'em nasty-pieces. So I guess it looked like Megan because you went cross-eyed when you came? Come on now, you know you can make me a map of ASIA, baby!! TrannyGranny, I'm challenging you to Pangea. Gimme!

#44 Is five good for you.......I'm shooting for the virgin islands this time......Lol at shooting for......

Why...why...why do fucking idiots have money to spend on shit like this? Who would buy it and why?????

That's not blood. That's diarrhea.

Jacq;

Pangea, no problem! Just gotta stand a little closer. I'm so jacked up on red-bull and wheat grass I could probably do an accurate rendition of the entire Aluetian Islands, including the mainland...here goes!

#46 - It's only shit if krisdylee's kid paints it. Otherwise it's bloody stupid.

Tranny and Stallion, be careful, I hear that can make you go blind!
- -
( ) _ ( )
- ( ) -
~
)--- ---(
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I dripped you guys a happy face, enjoy! I have excellent control of my Kegel muscles...

Ok, fuck that, nevermind. It looked TOTALLY different before the post and that was nasty anyhoo. Well, it still sorta looks like a face... You guys aren't creating your nastypieces to the painted bloody boobies are you? Please say no. Please make this thread stop!

@45
I tried it out, ended up with Great Salt Lake. Must be an issue of trajectory.

I read that Tom Cruise is putting out a placenta and sperm smoothie recipe book.

Oh geez... How the hell does a girl get a date with this guy? Man I've been missing out

#51 - You can't get trajectory if it's only been 5 minutes since the last time you tried...
Save up for a bit and "Termites take THAT!"

Because of my low sperm count, I just juiced out a perfect replication of Rhode Island. Now I'm really embarrassed.

Jacq;
If I had excellant control of my kegel muscles I would let my bush grow hog wild, I mean really, really hairy. Then, I would film myself having the ol'coochie lip-sync Willie Nelson songs, and sell them online. Need a manager?

PapaHotNuts and low sperm count just doesn't sit right........

I was going to get in on the sherry-cooze bashing on the other thread, but I have laughed so friggin hard that I have no hatred available to do justice. Stallion, P.H.Nuts, Trotter, Jacq, C4Cock, etc. Thankyou. I haven't felt this non-psychotic in years. *tucks penis in between legs, dances in front of mirror* I'd Fuck Me!

Papa, it may have only been Rhode Island, but their population is still 1,080,632.

LOL prideofchucky(#32) that's brillant..

I think the you forgot to mention his Pocket Mirror "Etchings" include traces of leftover cocaine and Kate Moss's snot:)

#55 - Funny you should mention that. I know my reputation preceeds me, but I know my vagina does not have adequate representation. Do I get anything extra if it can whistle and play the harmonica? ( actually almost typed that scene the other day when someone said to put the lotion in the basket-LMAO)

#54 - Your sperm count is too low because your nuts are too hot. They need to be outside of the body to stay cool. Everything will be ok when they finally drop.

Jacq;
If you can "look ma, no hands" when playing the harmonica we are in Business!

In other news I am joining the "Cool the Nuts Foundation" Global warming is a tragedy, but why must one man specifically suffer? It's not his fault he used to much hairspray in the pubes, and now his sperm is like molten lava. Save The Nuts!

@17 and 23: LOL! As much as I adore The Libertines and Babyshambles, your comments won my soul.

Um, about Koko, Why upon visiting 'her website' did i find that just ONE painting by this ape costs 100 smackers? WTF mate! I'm gonna go teach my dog how to paint right now. Paying my way through college buddy.

#61 - Save the nuts? What about my scrambled eggs?! Ba-dum-bum*ching*
About the Willie Nelson thing - it'll be like those old videos from America's Funniest Videos where people sing upside down and their mouths look really funny. Only more teeth.
Yikes!

61: Just get him some ice. Nutz need to be kept cool to work well.

This guy spills his own blood on canvas and sells the results for $2000 a pop. I want to know two things. 1. Who's buying these things? and 2. Why do I work for a living?
I need to start making art out of things I find in my cats litter box.

How is it this guy is allowed to live? The fact that he and Ashlee Simpson are still breathing proves there is no god. Seriously, he needs to buy it on a speedball...soon.

A monkey could do better art...and probably on drugs too!

LMAO @ #8 and #11

Thank god, I feel so much better that he was only drawing blook from a passed out teenager to paint with. Whew now I can let he and my daughter hang out without worrying.

I say keep him out of jail and rehab and give him an unlimited supply of heroin. It'll solve the problem quicker and save the state money.

Retarded.