May 1 2006Paris Hilton promotes sparkling wine in a can

I hate her. That is all.

What a loser with herpes

what more can you say?

anyone else notice that she has a lazy left eye?

Crap, I was reading for, like, five minutes before I saw no posts, now I am (third?)?

look at paris's left eye. it's wonky. she has a wonky eye.

so now apparently herpes not only gives you sores and painful urination, but now she can watch tennis matches and nascar races without ever turning her head

why has noone sniped her ass yet? ill volunteer.

anyone else notice that she has a lazy left eye?

And a lazy left brain... and right brain, actually...

You can call this product "White Trash in a Can"...Paris or product...take you pick -- and what's the difference, really?

Shit, fifth?
Oh, well.
What a fucking herpe-ridden cuntrag.
TCLTC.
(Just because the movie is out doesn't mean we should forget that...)

for a little paris stress relief, i suggest watching house of wax and rewind the part over and over when she has a rusty metal bar go through her head...

oops, i hope i didn't ruin that for some of you.

Dear god,

How does she still have money? Theres gotta be like 1000 lawsuits for her giving people herpes, and like 5000 more getting a herpes vibe just by standing near her

Sweet Lord in heaven, Edna... It's a fucking miracle. I can now access this from work. I am so relieved....I no longer have to do real work anymore. Praise Jeebus, Edna. Let's get down on our knees and thank the Lord, she is good. Paris Hilton Loves The Cock!!!

Quick someone buy Edna and MeganHarris a can of wine!

It's the fucking end of the world now, officially.
We are clearly the stupidest species on the planet, and there is no hope for our kind.

What was the down fall of humanity?

SLUTS. Man has no natural immunity against the slut.

Normally i like australians, but fuck them. I'm pissed they lifted that ban just so this bitch wouldn't have to drive there.

Why is she famous again?

1. does she look older every month or is it just that her head is shrinking?
2. i agree with every insult directed at this money-hungry-ridiculous b*tch.

i suppose it's too easy to insult her, but what else can we do from our desks at work?

What the hell is she doing in that first pic? Its like a scene from an old musical, and shes about to do her big dance number. She throws some cans to the locals, not realizing of course that throwing cans could be harmful. "Here peasants, have some wine in a can, it will change your life. It's hot" As she twirls, the men around her all fall to the floor and die from various sexually transmitted diseases.

sorry to sound like a retard, but are my posts actually showing up?

Yes mamadough they are and I would like to say the only worthwile thing this slut has done was to let them shoot that scene. I read somewhere that when House of Wax opened Nicole Bitchie and her pals would go see it again and again and every time Hilton got it in the head they'd yell "That's HOT!"
Gotta like her for that..well, no I don't. Nicole Bitchie is a skinny little freak.
Paris says "let them drink canned wine!", she should have gotten the Marie Antoinette role instead of Kirsten Troll Dunst.

She's confused... she THOUGHT they said she was promoting "Sparkling Wine in YOUR Can", the latest in Anal Douching.

worthwhile

#16 - I just can't resist. There is quite a difference between Austria, a small country in the middle of Europe, and AUSTRALIA, one of the 7 CONTINENTS that is in a completely different hemisphere.

Regardless of where it was though, it's depressing to know that even with her myriad STDs, we can't just quarantine her to LA where she belongs. No, she even has to profane the rest of the world with her stupidity and sluttiness, bearing canned sparkling wine no less. sigh.

what's depressing is that she'll return to the U.S. soon.

Do you know what the sad thing is.
Paris probably reads some of the shit about herself (e.g. having herpes, being a whore (also implied by the fact she has herpes), looking like an uglier version of Kirsten Dunst with an eye that gets more bung by the minute and just generally sucking at life) and eventually I bet it gets her a little bit down and she thinks to herself "maybe, I should limit myself to 12 guys a week, and use protection once in a while and maybe I should step out of the spotlight a bit and possibly always wear sunglasses to hide my shame er I mean face (also substitute sunglasss with clothes and face with emaciated corpse body)". But now, now she will just drown her sorrows with a handy can-o-wine (no need for cork screws or even twist off, there's no time in this work-a-day world) and she will think to herself "I am awesome, fuck all that shit people say about me they are just jealous of my looks/herpes/success/life" and with that she will pass out.

My only hope is that the alcholic content of the can-o-wine somehow reacts with the aluminium and herpes virus to create a super alcholo-herpes virus that is fatal and also very painful. I hope this happens, and using my masters in science I can pretty much predict it will.

mmm, wine in a can, it doesn't get any classier than that. Well done Paris, well dpne indeed, you have officially made yourself appear even trashier than before, a task most people believed to be impossible.
http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com

First picture is so weird in soo many levels... (the hills are alive...!)

OMG! I jsut noticed: she's dressed! and the dress is actually pretty!

I myself prefer "Box O' Wine" to wine in a can, unless wine in the can means something totally differnt and involves a wine bottle and her asshole.........

*different

My god, everything about that story is heinous... lifting enviromental bans? Sparkling wine in a can?

Classy indeed.

Haha! Stupid Austrians. First Crocodile Dundee and now this.

Her publicist is actually spinning this. In reality, Paris is hawking the new Valtrex beverage. "Sparkling Wine" is a literal corruption of the Austrian Schpahklin Vyn, which translates as "happy pussy herpe-free".

@29 ME TOO! It puts me right to sleep. Not the wine bottle in the ass...that keeps me up for at least 3 days.

She's such a silly bitch.

I guess wine in a box is so beneath her, well la dee da!

Ahh, Austria. First you give us Hitler, then you unleash this nightmare. Thanks, guys.

I now have someone I hate more than Paris: the chopper pilot who refused to just take one for the team and Mohammed Atta that sucker right into a mountain. THAT would have made a great product intro - the pilot gets looped on canned wine, crashes, and kills Paris. A nice bit of public service that would guarantee that I'd buy cases of the shit.

I didn't think it was possible for me to hate her more than I already do, but mission accomplished.

Sofia Coppola has a sparkling wine in a can, too, and I'd trust Sofia with that kind of thing before I'd trust Paris.

Actually, I'd never trust Paris. With anything. I wouldn't even trust her to spell her own name correctly.

Oh, it was sparkling wine. I wondered what it was. I figured it was an energy drink of some sort. You know we can't have enough of those.

Mamadough;

Is THAT what happens in that silly movie? Holy shit, and to think I have been boycotting it, just cause it sounded dumb! I am unable to wait! I must See! I AM EXCITED! OHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!!

Seriously.

p.s. It will take the entire island of Japan (Honshu, fuckers) with all the abacuses they have to calculate the loathing I have for this enema-leftover. Christ, I can't even afford a helicopter ride around Miami, and they lift a ban for her. GRRRRR!

Does that sound gay?

The raise of the environmental ban had nothing to do with the noise pollution of the chopper but a rather insidious environmental disease known as Paris Hilton. We can only hope that through all her treatments for STD's and her tanning treaments have left her sterile so she can not release her spawn upon the earth.

Austria is such a beutifull country, steeped in history and amazing architecture then she came and fouled it, just by being there.
Ever notice that the gossip on these pages is always about the has beens, wanna bes or just plain sickos? The rest of them manage to live their lives without bringing attention to themselves every day.

@25:

Whenever Paris reads something about her that is negative (assuming the bitch can even read), she just shrugs it off saying, "they're just jealous, I'm SOOO hot. Everyone wants to be me, etc." No Paris, not everyone wants to be a herpes-ridden skankwhore that is cheaper to ride than the city bus, has a wonky eye, looks like a piece of bacon with fried hair, and has not a single brain cell in that vapid little head. I wouldn't mind the money, but I wouldn't take it if I had to be her, that's for sure. I hate that whore with every bone in my body, she is an insult to everyone with talent, intelligence, class and kindness. Can somebody PLEASE, for the love of Jebus, shoot that whore? Please, pretty please? She's like a moped, fun to ride until you get herpes....oh wait, that's not how it goes!

Because franzia is soooo five minutes ago...

What's everyone so down on her about? She's the perfect pitchwoman for swine in a can.

I think I love her wonky eye more than the idea of sparkling wine in a can. I don't even like sparkling wine, when I come to think of it. Wow, her hair looks like it's died on her head...it's totally toasted!

@ 42, it'll still depress you a bit. she's more resourceful about avoiding death than most of the characters. kinda like real life. dammit.

I'm pretty sure that 'lazy' eye is actually the result of a semen-borne infection.

All those white 3-d looking glasses were given out because you can't look directly at her.

50: A very unfortunate "angry pirate" incident two years ago in Vail. Guess my aim was a bit off. Oh well, live and learn.

Regarding post #41............yet another stunningly insightful comment from MeganHarris. How DOES she do it?

whatever happens dont forget how much of a slut this girl is!! Check out this link, its Paris flashing the camera!!
http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/000978.html

The seventh sign is upon us.

Oh my GOD. You guys, the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser is so freaking awesome. Fuck David Copperfield, this is magic for real.

And no, I don't work for them.

wine in a can. I wonder if they'll lift the ban for her to promote herpes in a can?

Her dogs are even whores, one tried to rape Ellen's dog on her show. Hope she didn't give herpes to Fifi.

paris, oh, paris..... this inbreed is just one brain cell away from becoming a talking monkey

oh, man, am i a little too late on that one...

ugh! did it sing again ?? it looks like it's singing again ! NO !!!

#16.

it's AUSTRIA not AUSTRALIA who lifted the ban, you retard.

#60

Your butt will never be as hot as your sister's.

Who?

Governments disgust me. They certainly repeat that save the enviroment bullshit ad naseaum, but as soon as they smell money, it becomes a do as well say not as we do situation.

Austria has kangaroos.

Australia gave us Sound of Music.

Fantasy Island has Herve.

Paris has Herpes.

OMG Austria is not Australia! If you're gonna make fun of this twat for being stupid at least get your geography straight.

...and Paris is a whore. I hate her. die.

Funny thing is, if you ask Paris she probably doesn't know the difference between the two.

Funny thing is, she's not promoting anything new. This type of product has been out for several years. She's such a whore.

God I wish she'd disappear
I love in the first picture how they're all desperately reaching out to touch that STD ravaged skank

my thoughts for her can only be expressed in the highly disciplined form of poetry called haiku.

skeevy paris h.
STD ravaged douche bag
die away from me.

Ugh - she's not really wearing crushed velvet, is she?

We haven't gone back to *that* part of the 80's, have we?

When are people going to stop endorsing or promoting anything she does? She's nothing but an overpriveleged, herpes ridden bitch. I have nothing more.

Classy drink for a classy lady.
It looks cold there. In related news: Frosty the Snowman has the herp.

I wish Paris, Lindsay, Nicole, Ashley and Jessica, and the rest of those no talent skanks would have an orgy, with and AIDS victim.

she looks so much like her mother.

Why is everybody just now noticing her lazy eye? I've been saying that for months, but did anyone back me up? No, of course not, you were all too busy being amazed at what a whore she was to realize the important thing; she's a whore with a lazy eye.

It is a masked ceremony new age pouur of the funerails?

http://www.lezlife.com

wow, she looks good in that last pic.

wow, they're such tools....i would have said stfu