first!

and second?

i wish i had $10000

that is the stupidest excuse for forgeting mothers day EVER!!!

Let's keep it clean, folks. I am reporting all disgusting posts.

fourth?

those pictures of her make me want to smash her face in with a monkey wrench.

Edna Fa Cube Itch! go back to yahoo and try ban people there.

its not like anyone cares about you "reporting" shit

WTF is up with those shoes??

#6 Judging from every picture I've ever seen of her, someone beat you to that quite some time ago.

You could say something like, "I'd like to rip her urethra out with a pair of Robogrip pliers, tan it, and make a replacement gift basket for her. Filled with acid. And feces. And Fanta."

I don't know. I nee more recharge time in between Paris posts to be even remotely interesting. Maybe I should go talk about race relations and the American legal system on the OJ thread...

I actually like the shoes...but what in hades is up with the rest of the outfit? Shoes like that have to be played down with a pair of jeans.

Maybe she didn't want to be noticed. Looks like she's incognito.

lol @ robogrip pliers. that might make me giggle all day. sorry i cant come up with anything to top that. i tip my hat to you sir.

My speculation is that while getting dressed she was still giddy from all the cum she guzzled the night before leaving her already shakey ability to dress herself as the last thing on her mind. My point here is Paris is a cum guzzling bitch and I am tired of seeing her smug face everywhere.

I don't remember her crying when she was 5 and Woody Allen stole her virginity......

I hate it when celebs think they can just start any kind of fashion trend they want. I wouldnt even wear those shoes to cut grass in.

Edna...shut the phuck up. Can you not see that your morality police schtick is not working here?

It's Peter Pan. Those shoes are clearly magical and help her fly.

I wish Barry Bonds would abandon his chase for Babe Ruth's home run record and just continuosly hit Paris Hilton in the face with a bat. I would consider that a victory for all of us.

Why is her face the same color as her shirt, but her neck is tan?

Bad luck just seems to follow her around. Karma, I'd say.

Who the fuck is Paris Hilton?

I hear cum in the eyes stings and blurs vision... another gangbang gone awry...

If anyone watches old "The Nanny" shows, those are the exact same shoes tht Fran Dresher's grandmother, Yetta wore.

Could somebody just shoot her already? And burn those shoes...

I think I saw her fly into my windshield this morning.

At first, I was thinking the man was going to just leave it on the doorstep.... that would have been classic Paris.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

@23
Then your windshield has herpes.

#9 - what do you have against Fanta?!

I am not much of a style guy, but who the fuck dresses her? The combo of those irritating bug eye glasses, unflattering top and pants and her gold shoes makes me want to hire Dick Cheney to shoot her!

From the looks of it, this is going to be a great day here at SF. WTF is with those socks - not to mention the shoes and the PETA flour on the legs capris. Kabuki make-up nice choice.
Forget the Fanta, forget the feces, forget the acid. What her mother really needs is Windex. I have a stsong suspicion that Paris was born with herpes. Yeah, Windex and a bra.

Brittany Spears, Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton were in Chicago visiting the Sears Tower.After they got on the elevator Brittany noticed a stain on the wall and said"That looks like cum."Lindsey smelled it and said"That smells like cum."Paris leaned over,licked it and said"That's cum alright.But it's nobody who works here."

"Look I can even afford 'gold' shoes..." Dumb bitch. I cannot wait til the day when she hits the wall. Hard.

she looks like a freakin tool in all those pics.

She stole those shoes and socks from Meg Ryan

nice gold shoes and socks. You know she paid a lot for those ugly ass shoes. What's with these girls and the terrible slothes they have been wearing? If her outfit and Lindsay's leggings and big sweaters are what's "in" now, I do NOT want any part of it. HORRIBLE!!!!!!!

Mrs. Hilton "Paris what are you doing?"

Paris: "I'm trying out my outfit for my next movie."

MH: What's it called?

Paris: "Ring Three, Stick it in."

MH: But you do that already.

Paris: "I'm a natural actress."

#26

I don't like to drink things that taste like the eminations of a mentally unstable diabetic.

My eyes have been violated!

Is it just me or does it look like she's going around in white face? I think I should be offended.

#35

Okay, I can understand that. But what tastes like a mentally STABLE diabetic? Fresca, perhaps?

@28 lol

"wait til the day when she hits the wall"???

Dude. The wall's been kicking her ass silly for years.

Oh, and this is for Edna: Fuck.

And this is for Tom Cruise: Cock.

Oh... I forgot.

First!

She looks like such an ostrich.

It's just her "running to the pharmacy to pick up my valtrex" outfit.

BTW, could'nt she have given the damn gift to her mother instead of having it delivered? What a lazy piece of herpes.

This is what I picture sex with Paris Hilton looking like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PP68ncWYTO4

#21 LOL! I do remember Yetta did have those shoes... ROTFL!!

And¨Paris, dear... it was Mother's day why we celebrated Sunday, not Christmas. FUGLY!!!
(Actually, the chlothes aren't that bad, but put all together is disaster! And forget those glasses... they're a terrible)

And what the fuck is up with that person standing next to her in the elevator? She has a little girls cheap plastic hair clip and those jeans are so STUPID, are they "pegged" for God's sake? And nice 1980 flats.

#44

Yea...except they took the bag off it's head it would be EXACTLY like it!!!

Serves the bitch right for getting things stolen from her, because she's a thief herself: she stole my heart.

From the very first time I saw her, I wanted her; I have longed for her heart and soul. There is nothing more in this world that I would love than to have Paris in my arms, as I held her head underwater, watching the life slip out of her retarded eyes.

whats sad is that her outfit - from the hair ribbon to the retarded socks - probably cost more than my car.

#38

I thought Fresca was Fanta's retarded cousin.

My Land-Balls are a one-man Bukakke party.

She must own stock in Kitson. In every picture she is either on her way to Kitson, from Kitson, or actually AT Kitson shopping for $300 plastic necklaces and stupid tees.

She wears a size 11 shoe.

Just another one of her ignorant stunts to get Dior to replace the 10 grand worth of stuff she never bought in the first place. She's a conniving bitch.

Looks like she sneezed out a gram of coke onto her pants.

Ahh, BigJim, you're making my day a little better. I have a nasty case of acid reflux that's been going on since Thursday, I have cramps, and I locked my toddler in the car this morning.

And yeah right, the delivery person stole the basket.

I must disagree - the Fantanas have got to be the Megana to Fresca's MeganHarris. They wear the retarded "did it myself" side pony tails and and stutter "don't you wanna, wanna Fanta?"

Feed me:

Tell your hubby to stop eating so much spicy food before he blows his load in your mouth. That's probably what is causing the acid reflux.

#57

I like to out the song from that commercial on an endless loop and listen to it while I'm skinning Girl Scouts in my hunting cabin. Catchy tune. Teach those little cunts to forget my Peanut Butter Patties.

Vacant-eyed bitch forgot Mother's Day, how lame is that? She so rich all she has to do all day is remember dates that give you an excuse to party. And recall how she forgot the name of her own video game? I think her herpes has developed a case of syphilis and her brain is rotting.

Hellooooo, you're Paris Hilton! People do not randomly drive by in passing car and steal your bags from your front door. No. They are staking out your home in hopes that you would have filmed your latest sex vid in the dressing room of Christian Dior with the stockboy and you somehow left it in one of the bags.

Of course, $10,000 worth of merch doesn't hurt either.

Damn, I was really hoping someone stole those all her ugly fucking sunglasses.

Of course the ultimate story will be when someone steals her life.

Can we hire OJ to "Juice" her?

#46, that's Nicky Hilton! How sad is it to have to live in Paris' shadow?

Also, this is my first superficial post. I've been lurking for a while but hadn't ever signed up to post anything. Sad that my first post had to be so lame. I'll get better...

Oh yeah. Well, I bought my mom a Gucci Braclet worth 10 grand, a prada scarf, and a Cartier watch. Too bad it was stolen right before I gave them to her..

Memo to Paris: Instead of regifting gift bag schwag and giving it to your Mom for Mothers' Day, how about taking a day off from polishing pole and read a book?
Or wear some clothes that don't make you look like a tweaked out truckstop ho?
Small steps, Paris. Small steps.

Man!!! Check out the size of her feet! Girls with big feet like that should not wear blaring gold lame shoes that accent the fact that they have the same shoe size as Ronald McDonald.

Big Jim...did you see my post to you earlier this morning on the Brooke Shields story?

#57...LOL!!! You're a funny fuck!

@ 64 MeganHarris, the only thing stolen from your mother was her dignity when she finally realized she had the ugliest fucking tramp of a daughter known to the human race. Your face is the reason light switches turn off. Unfortunately, you smell like a shrimp boat in the middle of summer so you are even repulsive in the dark.

Sorry to other posters, I tried to ignore her, but she's just so fucking stupid.

#63:

Is Seneca Fell your actual name?

#58

Damn, that could be it.

Zanna:

Just read them. Any anger I might have been feeling is now gone. ALthough I'd still willingly rip Paris' spleen out, mix it up in a blender with a pile of steaming fresh dogshit and some anthrax, spunk in it, and then feed it to her.

So where did Paris get $10,000? Oh, that's right, Daddy's credit card. Soooo....she bought her mom presents with Daddy's money. Last time I did that, I was 5.

This is what happens when you huff gold paint out of a Macy's bag...
Paris must have a goldfinger complex to have done some simple shit like that to her sneaks...

Is it just me, or does she remind anyone else of that retarded vulture in the old Looney Tunes cartoon, especially with that crooked schnause of hers... I could see a little caption over her head in the elevator picture... "My momma-done told me... tha bring home some-thin' fer mother's day..."

Who is Megan Harris? Why does everyone hate it?

@44 I laughted my head off with your post. I splashed my laptop screeen with orange juice when I saw the title of the video.
Sex with paris = ostrich ride.
HILARIOUS

I'm starting to think that maybe I do have an anger management problem, because last night I was watching my five-year-old daughter's soccer game and there was this fat little midget soccer mom cheering for the other team. And when I say midget, I mean a bonafide, God played a joke on her midget.

So, my daughter's team is losing 5-3, and this fat fucking midget mom is jumping up and down cheering for the other team, with her grotesque little midget tips flopping all over the place with every jump.

Well, psycho soccer dad that I am, I got pissed. I mean, if my daughter's team can't beat a team with midget spawn on it, then what chance do they have of ever being any good?

So, I went over to the fat little midget and told her to shut her midget piehole. She told me to fuck off, so I kicked her in the cunt so hard that she doubled over. Then I decided to boot her in the head a few times. Well, she curled up into a little midget ball, so I kicked her onto the field. My daughter took the midget ball and ran it down the field for a goal.

We ended up winning 6-5.

BigJim: Sweetheart...Spunk BEFORE Antrhax. I'm just lookin' out for ya.

You know what bothers me about that midget story?

The fact that someone fucked a midget to begin with. I dance in a club at night and come home to an empty apartment..and yet there are grotesque midgets out there with kids and a family and OH MY GOD NOW I'M FUCKING PISSED OFF MYSELF.

Ok I know you guys aren't big fans of the stupid girl song.But the video is worth it. Real good imitation of Paris in a skimpy dress (the usual) going to the bathroom and saying "I've had 300 calories today,that is so not sexy".Sooo her.

The midget probably picked up one of Paris' discarded condoms and inseminated herself.

Wait, that doesn't make sense. Paris doesn't use condoms.

Strangely enough, BigJim...that made me feel better. :) thanks...

#80
Oh god please no "Stupid Girl" song. I've never actually heard it, and after it being posted um, like 20 times by He Who Must Not Be Named, I have absolutely NO DESIRE TO EVER HEAR IT, OR OF IT, AGAIN. I swear I will come through that computer monitor and rip off your fucking head.

No offense, I just really really despise HWMNBN.

I love this whole HWMNBN thing. Reminds me of Lord Voldemort in the Harry Pothead movies.

Yes, that's the idea BigJim. =) I'm glad I'm not the only geek in here. But then, your excuse is probably that your kids want to watch them. Whereas I watch them because I'm a dork.

Hey guys, GoFugYourself.com has this really awesome entry on Paris. Go check it out.

http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/

Feed_Me, that entry is so hot.

Holy huge feet Batman.

~~my first post, Thank you , thank you very much~~

#15, #40, You have been REPORTED! I have 43 names and counting.

Edna:

You have been reported to Jenny Craig, for being a sperm guzzling whale.

Edna, you really are a funny little hairy shit. Have you ever noticed that the SF guy who posts is, more often than not, vulgar? He makes frequent sexual comments about the subject. So who exactly are you going to "report" to? I'm really sorry that you have nothing better to do than to be a self-appointed prick, but if you're going to post on here, at least be funny. I've never called anyone the "c" word, but here it comes: Cunt!

Do I get reported now? I just popped my c-word cherry for you, Edna ol' girl.

I am wildly attracted to Paris Hilton. I'm even OK with the herpes, because the red bumps that will erupt on my cock will pleasure her better than a ribbed condom.

I'm serious. I want to have sex with her.

BTW, speaking of pricks, I haven't seen HWMNBN today. Maybe us emailing the admin did the trick. In that case:

Ding dong, the witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch! Ding dong, the wicked witch is dead!

Tom Cruise adores the cock.

HEY y'all. just wanted to let you know that I contacted Superficial and have implored them to delete posts from Lambananas, Edna, and Sherry-Co, so this site can go back to the hilarious shit it is. I invite you to do the same. Take a minute, let your voice be heard!!!

Feed me:

Congratulations on popping your "cunt" cherry.

Edna is a good choice for someone to pop it on. Nice going.

Who the hell is Paris Hilton?

Do you guys think Paris Hilton is reading these comments? I hope so. She'll feel all insecure with everyone else picking on her, and she'll see I'm the only one who loves her, and then she'll find me and she'll be all shy and awkward and cute and then we'll go out for coffee and then I'll bone her.

If Paris is reading, then I'll reprise my comments to eden just for her:

Go stick your head in a microwave oven. Here is the trick: you have to jam something like a fork in the hole where the "door closed" sensor is in order for it to turn on. With that accomplished, make sure you set it on high power for at least ten minutes. We'd all hate it if all you did was cook your already damaged brain bad enough to be a drain on the healthcare system but didn't actually die.

Once the nuker is successfully running with the door open, shove your head in. Just so you know, it's gonna smart a little, but you can take it. Don't be a wimp, keep your head in there for the full ten minutes, or eternity, whichever comes last.

In related news, an unknown male, identified only as Skip Smith, died of raging herpes (Parisimplex #1) yesterday.

@98
"Do you guys think Paris Hilton is reading these comments?"

C'mon, now. That's just plain silly. Do you think Paris can read anything? Her doctors actually have to color code her medicines to prevent a mix-up like the time she poured Nyquil on her pussy cause it was-a-itchin. You should have seen her nose when the suppository got stuck in her left nostril. She's great.

I think Psris probably writes most of these comments. She of course dictates them through Nikki.

And by Psris I mean Paris, or Psoriasis, or Osiris, whatever turns your crank.

Stupid girl, stupid girls, stupid girls
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there
Laughing loud so all the little people stare
Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne
(Drop a name)
What happened to the dreams of a girl president
She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent
They travel in packs of two or three
With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees
Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?
Oh where, oh where could they be?

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

(Break it down now)
Disease's growing, it's epidemic
I'm scared that there ain't a cure
The world believes it and I'm going crazy
I cannot take any more
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in
That will never be me
Outcasts and girls with ambition
That's what I wanna see
Disasters all around
World despaired
Their only concern
Will they **** up my hair

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

[Interlude]
Oh my god you guys, I totally had more than 300 calories
That was so not sexy, no
Good one, can I borrow that?
[Vomits]
I WILL BE SKINNY

(Do ya thing, do ya thing, do ya thing)
(I like this, like this, like this)
Pretty will you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!
Pretty would you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!

Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, stupid girl!

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

Nobody do it. Nobody.

Okay, so lambananas is actually Pink. I wonder what Richie Sambora's moniker is... (I'm looking at you, Skip Smith)

Oops, she did it again...

http://news.aol.com/entertainment/music/articles/_a/another-parental-faux-pas-for-britney/20060516093809990001

Posted by PapaHotNuts on May 16, 2006 04:05 PM

Nobody do it. Nobody.

By saying that, you're acknowlodging... and still obsessing. Can't you stop this enamoured obsession with me? Everything I say that, you tell no one to respoond...

AND I KNOW WHY!!!!

BECAUSE YOU ARE SO OBSESSED WITH ME, YOU CAN'T STAND IF ANYONE ELSE GETS MY ATTENTION!

Wow, you are the MOST obsessed! You are President of C.O.O.B.!

That's really sad.

C.O.O.B. Is, by the way, the Club of Obsessives Over iamBananas

Hey guys, let's talk about sports. Do you think Barry Bonds is going to break the record anytime soon? Look at Paris' giant sunglasses! It's raining here. Is it raining anywhere else? What's Bush's approval rating these days?

she probabley gambled those presents away in a poker match.

@111 - Better odds are that she just lost them in her cavernous vag.

@107 with post script for Edna

OH MY FUCKING GOD !!!! NEUTER THIS FUCKING CUNT BEFORE SHE SPAWNS AGAIN !!!!!

Again ENDANGERING the kid with the seat restraint and improper use of car seat. And hello it has been 75-80 degrees in Malibu everyday this week. Is she trying to give the kid skin cancer too !!!

ps: HEY BRIT: ABORTION IS LEAGAL IN CALIFORNIA

And she almost gets into a fight with Lindsay Lohan on Friday, I was at this spot too, but I didn't get to see it, how stupid is she..

http://starked.com/archives/paris-and-lindsay-bff-or-maybe-not/

When she finally runs into the wall that everyone's talking about, she's gonna fuck it.

21--NO shit! LMAO

Total "Grandma Goes To Vegas" sneakers.

@110 hey Osh, funny you should mention it, I nearly drowned on my way home today it is raining so hard. By the time I got here I looked like Paris after an all-night fluid-soaked party. So, what is your favorite fruit? Mine is, um, Mandarin oranges. Or maybe blueberries. But definitely not the one that is long and phallic and yellow on the outside.

I'm telling you, it's that little Tinkerbell, he's getting revenge on Paris for tossing him aside. He has powers, magical powers. Think about it.

First of all...those shoes make her feet look as big as gold plated canoes.

Number two...when you're as fucked up, or have been that fucked up (the ass) as Paris Hilton...Yeah...That's all I've got on that one

How old is Paris Hilton, anyway? 20-something, I'd assume, but I could be wrong..

Yes!!!!! 117th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmm. Paris Hilton looks like a Sleestak. Don't believe me? Check it out. http://vortex.accuweather.com/adc2004/pub/images/promos/blog_sleestak.jpg