May 22 2006Paris Hilton delays album again

I could honestly never think that Paris would accidentally fall out of her top, just as I would honestly think her album is ANY good...and just because you decide to put a cover of Gnarls Barkley's Crazy, which is a fantastic song, doesn't mean you'll sell more records either!

THis will go right next to my William Hung and William Shatner CDs. In other words, the "Joke" category.

I'm sure we're all waiting anxiously for her "hot" new album. Hopefully she'll delay it permanently. All she needs is more $$$.

Who is the hot retarded chick with dark hair?
Can she catch herpes just by sitting that close to Paris?

you mean she's beautiful, smart, and can sing?? Look out Jessica Simpson!

Notice how she looks down at her titty almost popping out and ignores it? Most people would adjust their shirts, but not her! She probably figures enough people have already seen it.

OMG! Katie Holmes escaped! Too bad it was in Paris' herpes filled boat.

C'mon guys, a bunch of us are going to Tower Records to protest! We're not going to take these delays any longer! Grab your Simple Life posters and get ready to chant: "we want an album please/ from the girl with Simplex B/ by that we mean that she's/ got a case of ass herpes"
"hey hey, ho ho/ we ain't takin this shit no mo.."

You couldn't give me enough pills and blow to set foot on that stinky French boat with that human virus, by the way.

Do ya'll hear that?...... ...... .....

That's the sound of billions and billions of people not giving a rat's ass.

The comment about natural selection too funny

So far, we've got Britney, Hohan, and Paris.

Where's a Tom Cruise story? The gossip-day is very nearly complete.

Have any of you heard any snippets of her songs? I heard a bit on the radio, and let me tell you, a whole lot of time went into the "post-production" stage of the recording--putting echoes on her voice, adding in all the synthesizer music, trying desperately to make it sound decent. Have you ever noticed that the people at the soundboard put an echo on the mic when they're doing, say, kaoroke, because anyone sounds better with echo? Too funny.

I wish they were on the S.S. Minnow.

I don't know why people make a big deal about her ity bitty titty popping out of her clothes...she has a frieken sex tape people!

Is that even her? With that short, squatty head she looks a lot like her impersonator. And it's official. Those glasses are WAY too big. She looks like a little kid wearing a giant's sunglasses.

Barbado, you are retarded. I think you should know this about yourself.

I thought you had to be at least thirteen to post of these things?

Paris is like that fifty-year old house wife with too much money and time so they start taking creative writing classes. She's totally going to make a breakthrough--I can feel it.

I have twos words to describe the last pic:
CAMEL TOE!!!!

First there was Yoko Ono, now there's Herpes Hilton.

Glad to see you're doing better, SuperFreakshow!

she more and more looks like nicole richie, and they both look like little boys

I notice that I have somehow wound in your 'filter' file? How in the fuck could that have happened?? I post a couple of times a week and it's tame compared to other shit you allow on here.

Fuck yourself with an iron stick, asscrumb.

From Paris Hilton's Daily Planner (Cum Encrusted)

To do today:

3:00pm-wake up, act like a cunt.

5:00pm-be cunt

9:00pm to 3:00am-take it on the cunt while acting like a cunt, oh, and return all calls received during day, be cunty, but not deliciously.

i heard nicole richies song and its so much better than what paris' will ever be. here's a link to listen to nicole:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=54946257

its obvious paris is stalling...pretty pathetic

Paris' new CD? YAWN. The original ASIA is going on tour? yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/

ASIA is so cool is not even funny...you're leaving now, there's no disguising it....

shit 80's attack, must downlo...ad i..llegal mu..sic!!

10 my thoughts exactly.

Is anyone really going to buy this crap? Hey Paris - if you want to get on stage and dance around looking 'hot', why don't you just go to the bar tonight? Or make another Carl's Junior commercial? Is it necessary to make our ears bleed too?

Are they stalling:

A. because of the lack of give-a-damn about the album

B. 'making people wait' is as cool now as it was in the 80's.

It's official. Paris Hilton is the new Jesse Jackson. There must be 10 of her because she's fucking everywhere!

She's going to remake a version of the Police's "Don't Stand So Close To Me.....You Will Get Herpes". She's just waiting for permission from Stink.

The disc is in post-production and ready to ship. Paris just wanted to tweak it a bit, add a few cum-gargles to flesh out the background arrangements, a queef here and there to bolster the bass, and a cock-gag or two to strengthen the melody. The denoument to this groundbreaking album is very brave indeed, with Paris releasing a fart as a very well-endowed penis is withdrawn from her rectum.

22 - tee hee

hahahahaha

WHEN is she going to DIE???

#17 that song is as awful, insipid and ear grinding as Paris Hiltons lame attempts to sing. They are both anorectic attention whores who need therapy or a firing squad. The latter being my personal choice...

Does anyone know what the 'shipping' company he is an 'heir' to ships, exactly?

275 million? That's alot of bones baby.

27 my bad, wrong thread.

#27 - Frito Lays Potato Ships.

Who gives a shit about the story. Did she kidnap Mandy Moore, give her lipo and perform a full-frontal lobotomy? What a retarded-ass looking chick! For some reason, that picture makes me want to rip her nipple off.

I don't think she's EVER going to come out with it! Is she afraid to? Hmmm... will we just make fun of her?!?

anorectic? I think it's spelled "Anorexic", #26... and thats not something to make fun of. Would you make fun of cancer?

Did I miss a major fashion trend? I was hoping it would go away, but now I have to pipe up because I can't take it anymore. When did it become okay to wear dirty sweatpants everywhere? When did we decide that the dirtier we looked the better? I thought that shit went out with the grunge look. And I am so over the fucking big sunglasses.

TCLTC

WHO THE HELL REALLY WANT'S TO HEARE THIS DUMB ASS SING? LMAO! I DON'T EVEN WANT TO WATCH HER ON T.V LET ALONE HEAR HER SKANK VOICE ON THE RADIO! FACE IT PARIS YOUR USELESS! THE ONLY THING SHE DOES GOOD IS SAYING "THAT'S HOTT" LOL DUMB BITCH!

Those yellow pants of hers look really dirty. You would think with all the money she has she could put on a clean pair of pants.

Not sure if this has been posted before, but here is Paris Hilton singing Happy B-day to Hugh Hefner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60kEOSIcrzg

It is the most AWFUL thing I've heard in a very very long time. I can not believe someone gave her a record deal.

I be thinks that she paid the record company to make her cd, and not the other way around.

If she can't sing Happy B-day it makes one wonder how she will sing any other song.

Oh, I forget to say, she's wearing lingerie, so you just know, that everyone who attended Hugh Hefners B-day party is now infected with the herpes and gawd knows what else.

holy ass...asia really IS going on tour.

my most valuable nuggets of info are from the superficial.

if only steve howe would lie like a tramp in a boat with only a teeny little tshirt to cover his pert little nipple...

god i hope cee-lo and danger mouse laugh her ass off the phone when she asks to cover crazy, i dont want the herp queen to ruin a great song by some great artists, she knows she needs a song with substance and not the third grader vocab lyrics she is puttin down about shopping, getting drunk, fucking some guy, and what is hot, who gives a shit, man when is she going to accidentally end her life? we're all waiting paris...

I need some Land-cock.

#17 That song is horrible. Who wrote those lyrics?!? sounds like it was stolen form my 5th grade creative writing assignment...

But back to paris. Why is she wearing dirty pants? can't she afford to wear a new pair of pants every hour? i also love her "whatever" face she makes in every picture, as if she is saying "yes, i'm paris, i'm hot, take my picture, i'll pretend to not care"

Yikes! her boob is like a large testicle.

God damn I love this woman. She's all thin and sexy, with pointy hipbones. I want to take off her sweatpants with my teeth.

#33-lol! Steve Howe in a skimpy outfit?????
bwahahaha!!!
http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/

Do yah think her album will be as good as William Hung's?

#35: Are you the creep that's been cruising the middle school's boys soccer team?

Also Skippy, I hope you like herpes on your teeth.

is it just me, or is she totally just staring at her boob as it is about to fall out? Like she's trying to decide whether or not to have a nip slip, wondering if it will get her more attention.

This bitch is so nasty she goes to the dentist to get the DNA out of her teeth.......

...and in other news...

Pop star BRITNEY SPEARS and her husband KEVIN FEDERLINE have hired a man to nanny their baby son SEAN PRESTON - they are referring to the unnamed childminder as "The Manny".
22/05/2006 17:37

could that be the mustache guy?
he can bitch slap the brit
and cock slap her
everloving kfed bitch boy
and still catch little sp
lol:)

There are many great white sharks following that boat because of the tremendous odor of fresh fish seeping from Paris Hilton's snatch.

A schooner full of tuner.

Raise your hand if you're upset Paris' album has been delayed..................

Didn't think so!

Speaking of raising your hands... was it my imagination, or did I see earlier an ad on the upper right hand corner with a chick with hairy pits? I clicked over too fast and now I can't get it back.

#17
hey, i just listened to nicole's track
i.e.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=54946257

not a bad first effort

"and the engineer managed
to put some of those (*&&"£"&^ noises
in, although i dont understand them yet"

lol babe, maybe you should talk to
some of those who do know :) or won't
they talk to you at the moment ?

go feed a few homeless people
get some image back
then come back : )

I can't wait for it. I pre-oredered it months ago!

#46 yes you did see that, I'm still trying to talk my sister into shaving and told her not to do the adds until then.Obviously she didn't listen cause she still likes the whole European style...........

I want to spray Paris Hilton with a pressure washer.

#38 - Umm, that was me.

I love how everyone else in the picture is cheesing it up straight at the cameras and Paris is pretending not to see them.

I bet the girl in the pink cami can spell "bloods" with her fingers. She's cool.

notice that the pink girl
is doing things
with her
fingers
what's
that all about ? :)
and why isnt she in the last picture?

sorry #51,
didnt see that you had noticed too
so we have three signs
from the pink girl
who knows signing?

Almost makes me nostalgic for a Yoko Ono album.

I don't want to feed the trolls
but this is ridiculous.
Could you please stop
writing in peudo-haiku?

It's not cute
or funny
just annoying.

Yeah, and yet nobody else has noticed that that's TOMMY fucking LEE on the boat with them?
Don't we all remember the last time he was pictured on a boat?
Really, look at the picture where her titty (tittie?) almost pops out, and tell me that's not him.
Not the others, just that one.
Jeezus, could you imagine the super strain of Hep/Strep/Herp that would cause?
Man, I need to run Norton just for thinking of that...

Why does she feel it necessary to try and flaunt anything. I mean really, what does she have an A or B cup. You'd think with all that money she has she could at least get a boob job like everyone else.

What is it with all these female celebs having deformed fuckin mutant toes???! (Check out right foot in last picture)

@43, "fresh fish" I don't think so, I volunteer that they're picking up on the smell of 4 day old cod, that's been laying on the deck under the brutal tropical sun.

The delay is due to the fact that they are trying to remove the cock sucking sounds she makes from the master.

hey, do you know something about richie and her "little problem" ?
http://img139.imageshack.us/my.php?image=proj9zn.jpg
because i dont know how trust worthy this magazine is so....

If you have not heard her song "SCREWED" Mateo's got the whole thing on his site. click on the end link on the Paris in Cannes post:

http://uslessthings.blogspot.com/2006/05/it-wouldnt-be-cannes-without-paris.html

If her yellow sweatpants can only talk it would probably say... Jesus, help me.

And if you look close enough, the rose next to her sludge pit is starting to wilt.

mic check....am i now able to post again?

Paris is burning... a hole in her crotch

Stallion - You're sister is smokin hot with those pits. I heard she likes to have them licked.

brit-fed hired the "manny"...probably a mexican who can also stuff burritos in her pie-hole...

...in other news...

TCLTC

and as far as hose-bag hilton...the crotch-rot must be eating away at what's left of her brain...why else would she have that "where am i?" blank stare on her mug...

I meant *your*. Fuck me.

Forget the boobies. Nice toe of the camel on the fourth pic.

hang on a minute
in picture two
isnt the pink girl
showing us
maxwell's left hand rule
for how electromagnetism
curls around a current
wow that's sppooky

i guess she just doesn't get photgraphed much

Harvard Medical School
Subject:Internal Memo on Vagina Case Study
Re: Paris Hilton
Appendix I (illustration)

A.normal vagina (;)
(:::::)
B.Subject Paris Hilton's : (*^^*&%*)
($$$$$)

This is for Getitstraight, from the weekend Britney thread...

Cruising, I'd fuck you anytime.

BigJim, wherever you are, my puss dances at the thought of your name.

Osh, you make me wet.

Papa, I've been a naughty, naughty girl, and I need to be punished.

Feed_Me_, you can feed me your sweet clit. Yum, Yum.

Oh, and Tranny, I love that pearl necklace you gave me.

BTW, I don't remember what this thread is all about, I don't fucking care, so fuck all of you who thinks otherwise.

Ah shit, it didn't come out the way I wanted, buuut you get the point.

Oh, and Thomas Cruise licks and sucks all the hard, veiny cocks he can find... then he gets them up his bum...

"we had joy,
we had fun,
we had semen up our bum..."

Krisdylee;

With a neck as pretty as yours, a pearl necklace was the only gift that made sense. I look forward to shucking your oyster.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, "Leo, I see salt--do you have salt-substitute?" "Faye.......is this hand-shucked"

WHY DOES SHE LOOK LIKE NICOLE RICHIE????

mosquito bites...

I don't care what you guys say. Paris is hot. Paris, if you're reading this, you are hot and I think we should meet up for coffee sometime.

Krisdylee, When I think about you, I touch myself (down there). I honestly do.

I wish Journey with Steve Perry would go on tour. I LOVE JOURNEY SO MUCH!!! They're gonna be at Nissan Pavilion, but I won't go since Steve Perry isn't touring with them. Journey without Steve? That's not Journey at all. However, Paris Hilton should just give up the ghost. Why won't she just go away? WHYYYYY?

/Asia is pretty cool also, but Styx is better. Mr. Roboto-awesome song.

GAG me. Paris Hilton makes Britney Spears look like Sarah fucking Brightman. Someone on my MySpace has one of Hilton's songs playing on it repeatedly, and I can't even comment over there without wanting to throttle someone. Her producers are smart, though - there's so much techno noise and echo throughout the song that you almost can't make out her whiny whimpers and "Yeaaaaaahs."

Dude neither of these bitches (Paris+Nicole) should sing...! They have absolutely nothing to sing about...oh the horror that is unleashed upon the world. It's just too awful to even listen to!

Paris can always sing about herpes...

A lot of money to be made there.

She has stains on her knees. Big surprise. And that outfit is awful: i hope she didn't pay more than $1 for it.

tsarinaamanda - you're dating yourself...

screwedis the most god awful song i have heard in my life. seriously, everything about it. monkey's could have come up with better lyrics, and paris sounds like a really whiney bird. it's like a bad kareoke version of what was a horrible song to begin with.

I would totally hit that chick next to her - the one standing in the green shirt. And does anyone else think she looks hot in the car reflection in the last photo?

#39 if it was funny yes I would joke about cancer. Buy a fucking dictionary.
an·o·rec·tic P Pronunciation Key (n-rktk) also an·o·ret·ic (-rtk)
adj.
Marked by loss of appetite.
Suppressing or causing loss of appetite.
Of or affected with anorexia nervosa.

n.
One who is affected with anorexia nervosa.
An anorectic drug.

[From Greek anorektos, without appetite : an-, not; see a-1 + orektos, verbal adjective of oregein, to reach out for; see reg- in Indo-European Roots.]

Pearly is sthmart.

@102-

How old do you think I am? :)

#98 queen can tour without freddie mercury...but the new guy for journey is named steve...

FM(LOVED)TC

herbiefrog, the pink girl's hand motions have absolutely nothing to do with how electromagnetism curls around a current.

No, her hands are silently spelling out in ASL the words: "Paris is a brainless herpes-filled, STD-ridden, beg-bug infested, personality-less skank."

I can, however, understand your confusion--for a sec there I myself thought she was demonstrating correct scissor usage.

I have 3 reasons for this post. #1 - to see if it always takes 4 hours for my post to show up, #2 - She is putting out an album...WTF, and #3...An F'N ALBUM...Let me pull out the Casio Keyboard and write so crap...maybe I will get on MTV TOOOOOO.....

suck it, then slurp it, okay Tranny?

That track "Screwed" leaked about a year or so ago (the innuendo is palpable) and it's pretty hot. She has a long way to go if she's gonna top the last Lohan album, however, which was a great leap forward for LL artistically and thematically. Scott Storch is doing a lot of the production for Paris and he's had no small amount of chart success. This thing could very well have legs...skinny sticklike legs, perhaps, but legs nonetheless.

So yeah, I suppose I am the sole human who is anticipating this release (admittedly it's fun to spring the news on people tho: "OMG! she's doing an ALBUM??? NOOOOO!!"). But then, I enjoy the sincerity and earnestness of William Hung's music too. For the record, he's actually done three albums: the debut "Inspiration", the Xmas LP "Hung for the Holidays", and last year's monolithic slab o' summer fun, "Miracle: Happy Summer from William Hung".

I notice there's a lot of talk here about Paris and STDs. Do we have documented proof of this yet, or is it just that double standard that comes up when famous chicks have a lot of publically reported sex?

tsarinaamanda Come on now. You're my bitch. I'm not going there especially when in exactly 10 minutes...I'll be 32.

Here's hoping it takes as long as the new GNR album. Maybe she'll have fallen off the earth by then.

saranwrapedasshole aka tsarinaamanda is 43 and here is her photo. I know, every man and probably most of the women on this site are going to be breaking down her door, but thats the price one must pay for being beautiful..

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/art3/0519063nc1.jpg

(I don't know, Im kinda worried for saranwrappedamanda for some reason she thinks she's a tsarina, but someone should break the news to her, that she will NEVER ever be a tsarina..oops I guess I just let the cat out of the bag)

I can't wait till the album drops! I know people will enjoy the herpified beats making their body move as they bump and grind only to figure out that they've contracted a slew of STD's in the process.

Here is saranwrappedasshole teaching us all a new trick

http://www.filecabi.net/video/fatclapper.html

She's clapping because she just found out that the mashed potatoes at KFC now come in SUPER FAMILY size...the little things which make people happy are so endearing..

She's totally ridiculous.BTW,who really cares about her boobs,it's like whe never seen them before..yuk!

Sherry-co

What exactly is your problem with me? How about you grow the fuck up and get the fuck over it already. You are sad, lonely and pathetic, and I don't really give a shit about your opinion of me, so I won't be responding to your immature trolling any more. Go bother someone who gives a damn. Thanks for playing, though.

@112- Happy birthday! I'm 24, believe it or not. So you're not too much older than me.

OH, and when I AM tsarina, you will be the first to go. I'll be nice, I'll let you spend your last night with TC and his butt-buddy. Maybe then you'll FINALLY get to see what attractive people do (you know, S-E-X). At least you did your research on what a Tsarina is, I'm sure you thought it was a type of plastic wrap. But I'M the idiot. :)

Ok, I swear I'm done with this socially retarded cretin....

Oh, and for anyone who might be wondering, I am rather distantly related to Kaiser Wilhelm of Germany, who was related to most of the European monarchies, INCLUDING the Russian Tsars. If I can figure out what my grandmother did with the genealogy, I'll put it up on my site.

This has nothing to do with Paris, but I found this comment by the former, recently out, governor of New Jersey telling:

"The more the rumors circulated, the more public and brazen I became about my heterosexual conquests," the twice-married father-of-two writes.

If that doesn't exactly describe Tom Cruise, I don't know what does.

nicole richie`s song is good. how come? you sure it`s hers?

Hey 113 I used to have a bulldog that looked just like that one .. did I say bulldog? I meant bulldyke....

Oh, Kaiser Wilhelm, one of the most evil men ever to walk the earth, used to hang out with Jesse James, Genghis Khan, Tito Jackson and the entire L.A. Raiders....back in the day.

Ok, does this mean her next herpes outbreak has been pushed back to Sept. as well? Because in case anyone forgot, she has herpes/

That's not Paris. She's too short and she has no chin. Looks more like that girl that pretends to be Paris.

I hope Sherry-co chokes to death on Land-mans cock.

Omg..if Paris ruins Gnarls barkley's 'crazy' i will hunt her down and shoot her.

Why is she wearing sweatpants in almost every picture I see? If you're rich and famous, and you're neither working out nor sleeping, then I think you owe it to the world to wear something other than sweatpants all the time.

# 130 - You promise???? ;D

Gerald: Always got my back, I love you, man.

@126-
Uncle Willy wasn't THAT bad...they just portrayed him that way on that episode of the Simpsons. His favorite hobbies were knitting, petting baby ducks, and posing for portraits with the ever-present pickelhaube. God, a man in a pickelahube is HOT!! I'll be sending one your way, Gerald....

Tsarina:

"Rabbi, is there a blessing for the Tsar?"

"Is there a blessing for the Tsar? Of course, there is a blessing for all things."

"May the Lord bless and keep the Tsar...far away from us!"

#89 krisdylee
Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.

GOD THAT WOMAN NEEDS TO WEAR UNDERWEARRR
(look at that last pic! no bra, no nothin!)

Even more disgusting it is a WET camel toe

Suggestions for Paris Hilton CD Titles

1. Scratch that Itch
2. Feel the Burn
3. Taste My Past
4. Scabbed Love
5. Sorest Loser
6. Loose Lips
7. Pain Down there
8. Burning for It
9. Empty
10.Banco de la Esperma

If this happens, I will kill myself. To think that Gnarls Barkley's flawless and incredible work may be touched by Paris makes me want to die.

I really hate those sunglasses. I mean, I REALLY hate them.

25 & 26 What? Paris and ASIA mentioned together?? *thinking* *thinking* My God! A Duet!?!

"And now you find yourself inside me, too?
Little red blisters will look good on you.
You can concern yourself with bigger things;
Try some Valtrex when the pustules sting!

Feel the heat in my panties!
Tellin' you that I'm skanky!
Yeah, the heat in my panties
and disgust in your eyyyyyyyes."

No one's waiting to hear Paris; however, we are all eager to hear Stavros Niarchos's cover of that:

"What have I, what have I, what have I done stuck my dick in?" song.

114:

When a rose is two days old,
It's ready for a plucking.
When a lady's thirty-two,
She's ready for a . . .

birthday.

;)

Hey, does anyone know the name of that chick with the dark hair? This sounds really stupid but I think I did a photo shoot with her a LONG time ago. I have the photos but you can't tell with those huge ass glasses covering her face.

#114, she is the herpes fairy

paree