May 2, 2006
Paris Hilton and Stavros Niarchos break up
A rep for Paris Hilton has implied that she and Stavros Niarchos have broken up. When asked if the two had split, Paris' rep told People magazine:
"It is not my policy to comment on my client’s private life. But I would not offer a denial."
There's no word on who broke up with who yet, but that's like trying to figure out which monkey threw the first handful of poo after a giant monkey poo fight. No matter what, everybody's still just a monkey covered in poo. Or in this case a a giant douche bag. Which is sort of like a monkey covered in poo. Only douchier. And baggier. And with less monkey poo. Okay, I think this it's safe to say this is the worst analogy ever used.
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» Jake Gyllenhaal loves to bicycle» Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant have babies
» Jordan at the 2006 Shanghai Millionaires' Fair
» The Superficial Ketchup
» Paris Hilton promotes sparkling wine in a can


Comments
1. Posted by Geno on May 2, 2006 10:46 AM
first?
http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/
2. Posted by Mr Furious on May 2, 2006 10:48 AM
Don't forget they are also both covered with her pus.
3. Posted by Giggles on May 2, 2006 10:49 AM
Who?
Please -- I can't take more about this SKANK.
4. Posted by Becca on May 2, 2006 10:51 AM
That bitch goes through manwhores like candy. She needs to stop spreading around her cooties...
5. Posted by trulymadlydeeplytori on May 2, 2006 10:53 AM
im just having a hard time figuring out why anyone else thinks the public gives a shit?
she looks like an old woman these past few weeks, giant wide face with a fake ass smile. still would bang her though
6. Posted by jugsgirl on May 2, 2006 10:56 AM
in better news, a new chicago hot dog place just opened on my little island. i'm so exited. i think i will have a chicago dog for lunch. i hate johnny cakes.
7. Posted by BigJim on May 2, 2006 11:00 AM
Well, golly gee! Paris is single? Do you think that means I have a chance with her? I mean, I only bring in $35k a year, and I drive a rusty Ford Escort, and I still live with my parents, but we'd have love to keep us together. Lots of love. Lots of dirty, nasty, anal love. Rusty Trombone kinda love.
Fucking her in the pooper with a cattle prod kinda love. I love you so much that I couldn't possibly stand the thought of anyone else ever having you so I've got to push you off this cliff kinda love.
Yeah, that kinda love. There would be just too much heartbreak involved, so maybe I'd just fastfoward to the cliff pushing part.
8. Posted by tarjamarja on May 2, 2006 11:01 AM
I think Paris Hilton may very well be the most useless "celebrity" on the planet.
9. Posted by Vas Deferens on May 2, 2006 11:01 AM
I am willing to bet that the break-up had something to do with her scorching case of herpes.
10. Posted by jugsgirl on May 2, 2006 11:02 AM
oh bigjim, you have a chance with me!
wait, im a whore, its more than a chance. we have probably already slept together.
r u from chicago? i love chicago hot dogs.
11. Posted by pinky_nip on May 2, 2006 11:02 AM
BigJim: Love me dirty and I won't even give you the herpes.
12. Posted by pinky_nip on May 2, 2006 11:03 AM
Jugsgirl: What do you plan on doing with your chicago dog you keep talking about?
I prefer Salt Lake City dogs.
13. Posted by colormeskanky on May 2, 2006 11:04 AM
oh damn, I was sure that was gonna last. they say the couple that endures tri-facto STD outbreaks together stays together. I bet that Hugh Heffner video confirmed his suspicion that yes, paris does remind him of a two dollar hooker he once knew.
14. Posted by BigJim on May 2, 2006 11:07 AM
Not from Chicago, but I've been to that lovely city. To give you a hint, my team lost to Anaheim last night. Fucking duck fuckers.
15. Posted by jugsgirl on May 2, 2006 11:07 AM
im gonna smother it in relish, mustard, peppers, and wrap in it a poppy seed bun....
then im gonna have my way with it. wow im so exited. its been over a year since i moved to this pathetic place. hot dogs excite me.
what would happen if a donut shop opened here? i would die and go to heaven.
16. Posted by WTF on May 2, 2006 11:09 AM
Paris this. Paris that.
I'm actually looking for word to K-Fed-up/Brit "fatass" Spears. Where is my Vicodin?
17. Posted by WTF on May 2, 2006 11:10 AM
*forward (yes that was a mistype, im not a TOTAL idiot. i dropped out at after learning my ABC's)
18. Posted by WTF on May 2, 2006 11:10 AM
this is too much, im going back to bed. :-/
19. Posted by Vampyreska on May 2, 2006 11:11 AM
I hate this bitch. Can't we talk about Katie Holmes instead?
20. Posted by Fisher55 on May 2, 2006 11:12 AM
ATTN SUPERFISH EDITORS: time for some new writing talent. with this blurb, it has crossed into the realm of Embarassingly Bad.
21. Posted by jugsgirl on May 2, 2006 11:12 AM
i bet tom cruise loves the hot dog.
22. Posted by pinky_nip on May 2, 2006 11:15 AM
I wouldn't fuck Paris with jugsgirls hot dog.
23. Posted by WTF on May 2, 2006 11:15 AM
tom loves the kielbasa!
24. Posted by colormeskanky on May 2, 2006 11:16 AM
BigJim, I drive a rusty Ford Escort, too! Actually, it's more dented than rusty, but it starts shaking if I go over 60. If it makes it to 70 I feel like I'm inside a pocket rocket.
25. Posted by CoJo on May 2, 2006 11:16 AM
Maybe the herpes that she gave him finally completed the incubation period.
26. Posted by BigJim on May 2, 2006 11:17 AM
I've got a pocket rocket for ya...
27. Posted by WTF on May 2, 2006 11:18 AM
LMFAO...............
http://www.thehiltonfiles.com/wp-content/uploads/paris-hilton-digging.jpg
Paris Hilton is a very classy person - I don't know WHY people say she has CRABS?!?!
28. Posted by Sheva on May 2, 2006 11:19 AM
A well informed Greek tycoon doesn't risk the Paris cootie.
He just does an end around run and exits stage left when done.
Yep, he's done.
29. Posted by gossipmonger on May 2, 2006 11:21 AM
Oh BigJim, we are neighbours.. Forget Paris, lets do Calgary together...
30. Posted by Jacq on May 2, 2006 11:21 AM
At least she gave him one thing that he'll have forever... Her LOVE, people! Love!
Oh, and festering penile sores.
31. Posted by jugsgirl on May 2, 2006 11:22 AM
bj,
are you a canadian?
32. Posted by jugsgirl on May 2, 2006 11:23 AM
gm,
are you a canadian?
33. Posted by jugsgirl on May 2, 2006 11:24 AM
are there many mexicans in canada?
did they work yesterday?
34. Posted by 86 on May 2, 2006 11:25 AM
Everyone knows you're nobody till you've fucked Paris Hilton.
35. Posted by Gerald Tarrant on May 2, 2006 11:27 AM
Any bets on who she gives herpes to next? Maybe she'll dig on Jake Gyllenhall in that gay spandex. And since he obviously like ugly bitches with little boy bodies (Kirsten, Heath, etc) they would be perfect.
36. Posted by bjpack on May 2, 2006 11:29 AM
I'm proud to be a nobody and jugsgirl, I'm not Canadian.
37. Posted by Gerald Tarrant on May 2, 2006 11:29 AM
*adds Maggie Gyllenhall to Jake's 'been there' list*
38. Posted by Lala on May 2, 2006 11:31 AM
In celebration of this news, Mary Kate Olsen eats not one, not two, but three kernels of corn!
39. Posted by sweetcheeks on May 2, 2006 11:31 AM
You know what's interesting? Listening to BigJim and jugsgirl banter about doing it, possibly having done it, doing it in the bottom, whether he has herpes, where they're from, if they're canadian, blah blah blah BLAH BLAH.
No, wait, it ISN'T interesting?
40. Posted by jugsgirl on May 2, 2006 11:35 AM
sweetcheeks can lick my hotdog after it comes out of paris hilton's thunder cunt.
bjpack shutup - i only talk to nasty sluts who are somebodys.
i was talking to bigjim.
41. Posted by Italian Stallion on May 2, 2006 11:37 AM
Good, now she can focus on selling that wine in a can and spreading disease....
I wonder if her herpes and crabs battle it out, we could get another Starship Troopers movie out of it........
42. Posted by sweetcheeks on May 2, 2006 11:40 AM
You know, I usually wash my hands before eating, not "shove my soon-to-be meal into Paris Hilton's thunder cunt." But whatever works for you. You ARE Canadian.
43. Posted by jugsgirl on May 2, 2006 11:44 AM
im no canadian.
44. Posted by asmith on May 2, 2006 11:45 AM
Actors...professional athletes...politicians have 'reps'. I just love that Paris has a rep. Totally cracks me up. Why is this? What in gods name does this slut do (not who - or how many times). This tool needs a rep just because she's a rich, dumb whore! Hilarious!!!!! :-)
45. Posted by bjpack on May 2, 2006 11:45 AM
jugs, shut up is two words.
46. Posted by gammanormids on May 2, 2006 11:45 AM
"It is not my policy to comment on my client’s private life."
Mm... she can do that by herself quite easily...
47. Posted by asmith on May 2, 2006 11:45 AM
Hot dogs always make my tummy feel funny ;-)
48. Posted by jugsgirl on May 2, 2006 11:46 AM
not that i don't love canadians, i just can't handle temperatures under 80 d.f.
49. Posted by jugsgirl on May 2, 2006 11:48 AM
sorry bjpack, next time i will just tell you to hush.
50. Posted by Binky on May 2, 2006 11:48 AM
# 33 There are hardly any Mexicans in Canada. We put up a big fence that keeps out a lot of Americans as well.
We call it winter.
51. Posted by asmith on May 2, 2006 11:51 AM
The 'rep' doesn't comment on her personal life??? Does Paris have any other life? Oh, the rep must only comment on her professional carear. Oh, right - no job. OK the rep must comment on all her humanties work. Even funnier! This rep has it made...all she has to do is continue to say "It is not my policy to comment on my client’s private life."....and she gets a whopping pay check! How do I get that kind of job??
52. Posted by sweetcheeks on May 2, 2006 11:52 AM
Jugsgirl -- WHO FUCKING CARES WHAT TEMPERATURE YOU LIKE? Go to MySpace and post pictures of your cooch so Canadian douchebags the world over can view your swampy clap trap.
53. Posted by BigJim on May 2, 2006 11:53 AM
Yes, I am indeed a proud Canadian. Now if you will excuse me I have to go (insert stereotypical comment about Canadians here).
54. Posted by jugsgirl on May 2, 2006 11:53 AM
sweetcheeks,
what is the temperature that you like?
55. Posted by jugsgirl on May 2, 2006 11:55 AM
bigjim, would u like me to post photos of my cooch on myspace for your viewing pleasure?
56. Posted by BigJim on May 2, 2006 11:56 AM
sweetcheeks is just begging for the anal cattleprod, cliff pushing treatment.
57. Posted by jugsgirl on May 2, 2006 11:57 AM
i miss the good ole days of the superficial. this site is so boring.
oh laydeebug, papahotnuts i am lost without you.
58. Posted by BigJim on May 2, 2006 11:57 AM
#55:
Hell, YES! I luv da cooch!
59. Posted by Spindoc on May 2, 2006 11:58 AM
What do you think burns more? Paris peeling off her underwear during a Herpes flare, or Tom Cruise's ass when Katie forgets to Lube up the strap on?
60. Posted by pinky_nip on May 2, 2006 11:59 AM
The sexual tension between jugsgirl and bigjim is really hot. I mean, it's just too intense. *rolling eyes*
61. Posted by colormeskanky on May 2, 2006 12:04 PM
#59 LMAO
62. Posted by BigJim on May 2, 2006 12:04 PM
Awww, pinky, didn't you see the nice things I said about your Shaq's massive cock post? Go have a look.
Oh, and Gossipmonger -- what kind of neighbour? Which direction?
63. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on May 2, 2006 12:04 PM
In related news, Stavros joined the not very exclusive Paris Hilton Valtrex Club. Members are given one free years worth of Valtrex, a signed pair of bloodstained panties courtesy of Paris, and the honor of being publicly bestowed with a dose of celebrity herpes. As they say, "One night in Paris... a lifetime of pustulant sores on your manpole."
64. Posted by asmith on May 2, 2006 12:07 PM
My mouth is burning from the hot peppers I ate on my sandwich today. This is news, isn't it??? Anybody?? ......... Anybody??
65. Posted by Miss_Marple on May 2, 2006 12:09 PM
I'm from Canada. We call Saskatoon... Snatch-a-spoon, and we call Saskatchewan... Sa-snatch-ewan
It goes like this:
Snatch-a-spoon Sa-snatch-ewan (say it real fast ten times).
And for all of you who are going to slam me for poking fun at the name of my city and province.... What the hell do you expect me to do in the fucking tundra!! We are expecting snow here sometime this evening... I'm serious... check out the weather network.
66. Posted by jugsgirl on May 2, 2006 12:13 PM
im not even getting a little turned on by sweetcheeks insulting me.
bigjim-
insult me please. harder harder harder
asmith, you should try eating icecream or some cooch, that normally works for me.
67. Posted by BigJim on May 2, 2006 12:23 PM
Sorry, but I'm having a hard time coming up with anything bad to say about someone who calls themselves "jugsgirl"... bitch.
68. Posted by IwearBananahammocks on May 2, 2006 12:26 PM
On count of three, One, Two, Three, Who gives a fuck? Herpes will be with another billionaire next week? I mean the sad part is that the billionaires sink to the level of dating skanky ass Paris Hilton, I mean they can't do any better with a billion bucks. Hell I would think you could get Paris for a can of wine and some xanax.
69. Posted by pinky_nip on May 2, 2006 12:41 PM
Thanks BigJim for the compliments. I heart you too.
But just don't try to sneak into my country, I know how drunk you Canadians are. LOL
70. Posted by BigJim on May 2, 2006 12:49 PM
Busted. It's 10:48 AM and I'm already on my fifth beer. Or is that my sixth? Damn, getting too drunk to count.
71. Posted by pinky_nip on May 2, 2006 12:57 PM
Pass the Molson XXX!! Thankfully I live close to the border, used to love going over there when I was 18 to drink hard beer!
72. Posted by gogoboots on May 2, 2006 12:59 PM
wow what a surprise, no really, it's a surprise, i was starting to think they're were both dumb enough for each other.
73. Posted by jess[hearts]you on May 2, 2006 1:04 PM
meh. they lasted way longer than i expected them to. i wonder who shes gonna try to hump next..wait no i don't
oh yeah and 33. yesterday wasnt just about MEXICANS it was about all latin american people
74. Posted by Spindoc on May 2, 2006 1:09 PM
Actually #73,
yesterday was supposedly about the rights of illegal aliens. It's very racist for you to assume that all illegal aliens are Latin. how un PC of you, I'm going to tell Edna Bambrick. ;)
75. Posted by PapaHotNuts on May 2, 2006 2:06 PM
@ 57
Sorry, but the site is really going to shit. Hard to have fun when the post topics are this fucking pitiful. I also have no desire to get into a US/Canadian discussion today.
76. Posted by Iambananas on May 2, 2006 2:10 PM
Wanna hear a secret? I don't care for Paris Hilton.
77. Posted by ESQ on May 2, 2006 2:24 PM
Money can't buy love.. In this case class, happiness, a clue, an education above learning ABC's and 123's, OR a sure fire method of getting rid of herpes for good.
78. Posted by Edna Bambrick on May 2, 2006 2:29 PM
I, not being the original Edna, but taking on her namesake, will be reporting all disgusting posts.
79. Posted by brewdick on May 2, 2006 2:35 PM
I hate Paris in the springtime;
I hate Paris in the fall;
I hate Paris, oh I hate Paris!
80. Posted by Iambananas on May 2, 2006 2:40 PM
Money can't buy everything
Money can't make you a queen
Money can't buy happiness
Money can't get all the rest.
But the one thing I am sure
Money Dosen't make you poor
Money dosen't make you sad
Money Can't be all that bad.
81. Posted by Iambananas on May 2, 2006 3:03 PM
Stupid girl, stupid girls, stupid girls
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there
Laughing loud so all the little people stare
Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne
(Drop a name)
What happened to the dreams of a girl president
She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent
They travel in packs of two or three
With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees
Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?
Oh where, oh where could they be?
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
(Break it down now)
Disease's growing, it's epidemic
I'm scared that there ain't a cure
The world believes it and I'm going crazy
I cannot take any more
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in
That will never be me
Outcasts and girls with ambition
That's what I wanna see
Disasters all around
World despaired
Their only concern
Will they **** up my hair
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
[Interlude]
Oh my god you guys, I totally had more than 300 calories
That was so not sexy, no
Good one, can I borrow that?
[Vomits]
I WILL BE SKINNY
(Do ya thing, do ya thing, do ya thing)
(I like this, like this, like this)
Pretty will you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!
Pretty would you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, stupid girl!
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
82. Posted by sweetcheeks on May 2, 2006 3:08 PM
Oh my God that was really long.
83. Posted by St.Minutia on May 2, 2006 3:58 PM
Where oh, where are mamacita, oshkosh and biatcho to take care of this lamebanans person. She needs to be shamed and emotionally scarred by rapier wit and new and inventive swear words. I am not up to the challenge, but here I go...
@80 and 81 Shut the fuck up. Your posts are shittier than an over crowded chicken coop oozing with juicy bird droppings. You have the sense of humor of a 12 year old mentally handicapped mongoloid midget (which I suspect you are).
Apologies to any real mongoloid midgets out there. I'm sure you are smarter and funnier than lamebanans.
I'm done. I don't feel better, though.
84. Posted by radio4play on May 2, 2006 4:03 PM
in other news tcltc
85. Posted by ohnoudint on May 2, 2006 5:25 PM
Sorry I have to say it...but...illegal aliens have no rights...the key word here is illegal ie criminal...in the U.S. criminals don't have many basic rights whether they are citizens or not...ok I'm off my soapbox. And in other news...Tom Cruise still loves the cock!
86. Posted by LittleWatson on May 2, 2006 5:29 PM
Iambananas...you posted that entire song on the other thread. um, please stop.
WTF...I have your Vicodin. Wait, no I don't. If I did I would be in a lot better mood.
87. Posted by WTF on May 2, 2006 5:50 PM
LittleWatson ...I'm cool Peter Dohetry supplied me.
88. Posted by LittleWatson on May 2, 2006 6:06 PM
Oh...maybe he was cold shaking in that picture.
89. Posted by Mr. Fritz on May 2, 2006 6:45 PM
I'm thinking her next boyfriend will be William Hung. Wouldn't that make an interesting sex tape?
90. Posted by krisdylee on May 2, 2006 9:13 PM
Cool thing about Canada is, all the hot pussy.... keeps us warm during our long hard winter... With BigJim's long, hard, uh ahem...
Flames have to pull it out... Battle of Alberta...
91. Posted by Jacq on May 3, 2006 11:38 AM
When I see that a girl, even one as wealthy as Paris, breaks up with a guy as rich as Stav I can't help but call bullshit. Girls like her hang onto boys like that tighter than a barnacle to a Carnival cruise ship.
He must have found someone else's beef curtains more aesthetically pleasing.