Her parents got her a new one. Big deal.

Paris, what happened to your virginity?

Poker anyone?

Paris can shove her pretty little Bentley up her ass. Now that's hot.

Someone run her over.

When she gonna get a new Vagina?

wtf is going on w/ this site? there's all kinds of superficial shit going on today (anna nicole, for one), and we get another "paris and her car" thing? ho hum

What do you expect when you cite a tabloid as your source?

In other news, edna weighs 350 pounds.

What kind of a place would take a bet from Paris for a car that we all know her vag juice is caked onto the leather seats. Ew.

TCLTC

I'm beginning to think Paris' mentally-challenged publisist runs this site.

yeah right. bitch wrote a check and kept her car.

I can't believe pink_nipple isn't first!!!

sorry, meant pinky nip!

Aarghh...
pinky_nip.

#8, can't we keep our personal affairs out of this. You never complained about my weight when you called me your fluffy marshmallow goddess.

overheard at the hilton house this weekend......

i want my bentley back, bentley back, bentley back, bentley back

HO HUM....well maybe just the HO...and a hummer

Paris who?

can someone tell me what the hell paris is saying in this clip? i've listened to it 5 times and have no idea

Holy Edna's gaping axe wound, Batman, could it possibly be a new post?

I don't necessarily believe that. I think she either bought it back or wrote a check. Who knows. Although, I would still like to think that she lost it in a poker game.

Did anyone see these pictures of Paris promoting that new soda over the weekend?

http://www.derekhail.com/2006/05/01/paris-hilton-smoking-is-sexy/

In that header picture, she looks like she was descended from god.

Sorry folks, but I gotta rerun this one because I get off on burning Edna:

To the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies:

Well, let me tell you a story about a bitch named Ed(na)
Fundamentalist Christian and here’s a what she said
“Stop all your disgusting posting or here’s what I’m gonna do…
“Shove your head up my cunt with all its nasty cooze.”
Jizz, that is. Spermatozoa. Leftover like.

Well, next thing you know, Edna’s on the warpath.
Reporting everybody laying down a righteous wrath.
But the Superficial folk, well they was brave and true
So they all told Edna to drink the Lord’s goo.
Spooge, that is. Jesus Juice. Asparagus flavored.

Who ever won that Bentley will need a hell of a lot of Windex.
why doesn't she get w/ tommy lee? We can cut down on the amount of STDS the world sees if these two missing links could just mate for life.

What happened to your Bently?
Paris: Nothing happened or I still have it.

What happened to your herpes?
Paris: Nothing happened or I still have it.

There's nothing like a Bentley!

if only the drudgereport had posts...

Well, let me tell a story about BigJim,
He needs so much more attention than he is gettin'
His low self esteem shines through his every post,
And of all the posters on here, his number the most.
Overdone, that is. Not funny. Sad, almost.
Now BigJim has some fans on this little message board,
They laugh at what he says because to them he is the Lord,
But his soul will burn in Hell throughout eternity
And that will be an improvement to our society.
Less is more, like. Addition by subtraction.

@27: Boo. Hiss. Boo. Hiss.

Any poser that has to post as if he/she's name is Edna Bambrick is a real douchebag.

Here's a quarter, go buy yourself an original log-in id.

@12: I know, bummer, I'm losing my touch.

What's the difference? We are all hiding behind IDs, are we not?

Man, it's like this site was hit with a 'stupid' virus. First the message boards get infected with garbage and now the content is going downhill. Hopefully, it is just a phase.

I don't like fake Edna. She hurt my feelings. Real Edna only would have reported me and prayed for my immortal soul.

Curse you, fake Edna. I have to go cry now.

The guy who won it probably figured that the passenger and driver's seats have herpes and mailed back the keys.

What is this the third or fourth TS article about this stupid bitch and her fancy car? Ugh who cares? I only care if she crashed it into a brick wall while driving 120mph. When that day comes, THEN tell me about Paris hiltons god damn car.

HAPPY MAY DAY ALL! Let us all turn over a new leaf, and get along...amen!

Paris is to leather seats like an Octopus is to aquarium glass at Seaworld.

wake me up when shes doing porn....what?....shes already done that.
ok, then who the hell cares?

the video was sort of anti-climatic wasn't it?

Evidently Bentley.

ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

NO AMNESTY -- EMPLOY AMERICANS!!

Bulshit! She's lying! Paris is the Liar!

MeganHarris -

Why such mean words aimed at your hero? I thought you and her were like bestest friends? Aren't you like the only person on the planet who likes her music?

Paris' huge vagina shallowed her Bently. . . Now that's news.

YOu know what? Edna Bambrick is a 13 year old boy... I'm serious. This is not the same Edna "fuck-wad" Bambrick that has been making trouble for other people on other websites.

Edna...What the hell am I saying?

Okay little man, don't you have homework or something to do? I agree with #28... you ought to have come up with something better. All you 13 year old boys have to do is hide while you stroke your joke. In fact yorus is just that.... a joke.

The unemployment rate for black males is 60%... I seriously doubt that no one else would do those jobs.

In Jesus's name I pray: Please Oh merciful Lord, please kill this skank ho plague upon this earth known as Paris Hilton. Kill her slowly and painfully, preferably with a sharp object up that diseased vagina, why must you mock us with your wrath? Please let her die. In Jesus' name, Amen.

I really don't understand what that was about actually. It really confused me actually, isn't she sitting in her Bentley? Wait, she lost it in a poker game bet!!! HAHAHAHAHA! The girl needs to die in shame instead of going to Austria and promoting sparkling wine in a can, gak!

lambananas #40 & #45:

Knock it the fuck off.