May 30 2006Nicole Richie hits the beach

What is that thing around her neck? It makes her look fat.

fat bitch

#1 Hee, hee. It's actually a brace to keep her neck from snapping in half from the weight of her sunglasses.

Ew! I hate it when you can see the sternum between the breasts..not attractive at all!

She looks like an eleven year old playing dress up with her Jewish grandmother's sunglasses. Eat some carbs for petes sake!

Yeah eh ...nice ribcage honey, now can you give us a view of your sexy coccyx.

ohhhh nicole.....you were so much more fun as a fatty

Shouldn't the title of this post be "Skeleton hits the beach"..?

this is the ugliest most wretched woman to walk the face of the earth. she is so disgusting and so ugly i want to punch her mother right square in the v for giving birth to this thing.

I'll say it now and I'll say it again cows in dark floral prints should not be allowed anywhere near a beach.

I knew if I just studied this treasure map a little longer I would eventually find that sunken chest I've been searching for.

She should put her huge upper teeth away. Unless she's so hungry that she's trying to eat her own head.

That wish sandwich diet seems to be working well for her - as in, gee, I really wish I could have a sandwich.

and who are all these people walking with her? How do you get that job??

oh my god i just saw these photos *vomits*

Spatz, that's probably why her birth mother actually gave her up for adoption.
Note to self: Remember, allowing others to see your femur bone without an xray is NOT a good thing.

is that karen carpenter's daughter?

She looks gross but better than she did when she was a fatass on the Simple Life.

Do guys like fucking little boys?

I'd hit that fat pig. Two times.

Jacq - couldn't agree more. Since she went on the Auschwitz diet, it looks like she stuffed her Grandma's dentures in her mouth. The sad thing is you can tell she's delusional from lack of sustenance - she thinks she's sooooo hot. Look at her leading those pack of "fatties", like she's some anti-food goddess. How can you fuck that? Her pelvic bones must be like a food processor on your cock.

Ever seen a ninety year old woman naked? Um... now you have.

What is it with these women and ugly feet. Skeletor on the left there looks like she has talons and don't get me started on the canckled wonder on the right.

YUCK

Stop making fun of grandma.

I really hate that despite being skinny... she is still flabby. Dammit, eat a sandwich, lift some weights.

And I swear, the next person I see in sunglasses like that... will be eating them.

a pirates wet dream...a sunken chest

lol, that thing around her neck looks like it's being used to keep her head on, because she doesnt have enough meat to do so on it's on lol

She's a shoe-in for the Ethopian Bikini Contest.

This is a rare case of someone actually being skinnier and looking more strung out after they're OFF heroin. Isn't it normally the other way around? There is nothing, short of a drug test, that would convince me that she's not on coke - only because I can't think of another appetite supressing drug that gives you a horrible case of the shits. She looks like someone who's been stranded on a deserted island for weeks. *parched mouth, hoarse voice* Water! Water!

Ok look again at the first pic at the top.
Look at her face. Look at those clown glasses. Look at the face that she's making.

I'd like to tie her up with dental floss and force feed her Weight Gain 3000.

BTW, I've seen bigger arms on a clock.

I love it when a photo captures how truely retarded a person really is. In this case this cabbage-headed twig. That's not a really good comparison though being the twig has a larger body mass index.

She has a fucking tattoo of a cross on a chain around her ankle. She ought get some nice shadow work done around her ribs, and maybe a pool of water tattooed into that pit between her deflated little titties.

Eww.

BarbadoSlim, your coccyx is actually your tailbone...

22

Where's He-Man when you need him?

Apparently she's not ready to give up her winter scarf!

Why isn't Harrison Ford in the pic? Did he and Callista break up?

What the hell is that tattoo of? A diagram for "Insert Dick Here"?

@35 exactly...in her case I'm pretty sure you can see it.

I don't like bone on my tail I'm from the Sir Mix A Lot School when it comes to bootay.

her glasses weigh more than she does

http://ultra8201.blogspot.com

Alice In Chains once sang:

I believe them bones are me
Some say were born into the grave
I feel so alone, gonna end up a
Big ole pile a them bones

Dust rise right on over my time
Empty fossil of the new scene
I feel so alone, gonna wind up a
Big ole pile a them bones

Toll due bad dream come true
I lie dead gone under red sky
I feel so alone, gonna end up a
Big ole pile a them bones

I bet her boobs are concave too.

What they're not showing you in the pics posted above is a crying Sally Strothers hurling handfuls of deli meat and mashed potatos at Nicole's feet pleading for her to eat something.

That sounded dumb. I meant... I bet all the bras/tops she wears are stuffed. Only, professionally. With silicone.

I love Alice in Chains...
Stallion, wanna go riding?

The thing is, she was actually very pretty when she had about 15 - 20 more pounds on her frame.

Too bad she's still a low class skank at any weight.

How was everybody's holiday weekend?

those glasses are as annoying and garish as she is

I liked Alice In Chains too, but she got smarter and managed to get the key from me, it got pretty ugly after that.......Ari In Chains just sounds better anyway........

Time to ixnay the cocaine and laxative diet. Wonder if DJAM split with her cause he couldn't stand that he was literally boning her.

yeah so, I wonder what she would do if she read these posts and the other hundreds of posts about her all around the internet? She is aware of how yucky she looks, how about she starts doing something about it? She's a dumb-ass and I don't think she'll ever give up her addcition to not-eating.

So, aside from being a former Paris Hilton 'friend'.. WHY is she famous? Seriously, is she another heiress or something?

Stallion--I prefer silk scarves, but will tolerate cuffs.

EXTRA!! *cue in effeminate celebrity reporter*

And in underworld celebrtiy news, the Grim Reaper was in town for a day at the beach surrounded by its ghoul entourage,
EXTRA! wonders if that beach was scythe friendly!! *hahahahha*

In legal news, one of Charlie Sheen's hookers revealed how he....

@51: She's supposedly famous 'cuz she was raised by that no-talent ass clown, Lionel Ritchie.

#50 - Apparently, she does hear them. She walked up to Perez Hilton at that Bean & Leaf wherever and said "Call me anorexic to my face." They made nice, Hollywood. Pffft.

I hope her doctors shake the shit out of her and make her ingest something.

Normally when people say this, they're trying to be funny, but this time it's absolutely literally true:

I had a hard-on right up until I saw those photos. It just withered like a cartoon balloon the moment I saw those. Fuck you, Superficial, now how am I supposed to get my good-night wank on?

She needs to put down the coke straw and pick up a razor. Her bush is starting to grow out of the top of her bikini for christ's sake.

Check out the trashy bitch walking behind her trying to bring back the cutoff jean shorts look. Niiiiiice

#53-- Oh. how. thrilling.

And I got in a fight with Frankie Avalon's youngest daughter in high school.

Nobody gave a shit about her either.

People: realize that she is actually about 10 lbs SKINNIER than these pictures make her look.

::shudder::

it's funny because her sunglasses are bigger than her boobs...

Looks like the weekly meeting of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee decided to take their cause to the beach. She's not just a member... she's the president.

#50 - Apparently, she does hear them. She walked up to Perez Hilton at that Bean & Leaf wherever and said "Call me anorexic to my face." They made nice, Hollywood. Pffft.

I hope her doctors shake the shit out of her and make her ingest something.

-------------------------------------------

Oh really? Damn. They should have said something---that would have been AWESOME!

niiiiiiice indeed #56, where the FUCK did she manage to scrape this ugly crew from.

ooof.

You guys, anorexica is a serious problem and she could very well die of this. She really needs serious help. No one can even imagine what she is going through. She mnight put on a happy face, but inside she is torn up. This is, assuming she has it, which is obvious.

She should look at Tracey Gold and countless other role models who have overcome anorexica and see how wonderful their lives are.

A lot better than Caren Carpenter.

STFU

that doesn't look like a smile, but more a face one makes when trying to poo some stubborn poo.

You guys, Down's Syndrome is a serious problem and she could very well die of this. She really needs serious help. No one can even imagine what she is going through. She mnight put on a happy face, but inside she is torn up. This is, assuming she has it, which is obvious.

She should look at Chris Burke, that water-headed retarded kid from that "Life Goes On" show,and countless other retards who have overcome Down's Syndrome and see how wonderful their lives are.

A lot better than Iambananas.

66
awesome.
i love you, papa.

The "woman" on the side of nicole might actually be skinnier than her. Eww, i didn't think it was possible. I think that AA (anorexics annonymous) is having their first meeting at the beach so they can see what people who actually eat look like.

...and this one time, at fat camp.....

Do I smell the stench of stupid immature idiot?

Oh, yeah, it's papahotnut

#63 is really funny if you read it with an Arnold Schwarzeneggar voice. Do it.

@ #63 - wtf is anorexica?

They're too skinny and you make fun of them.. too fat and you make fun of them... a LITTLE curvy and you make fun of them.

I guaran-damn-tee you that all of you are deformed in some way. Most of you, first and foremost, by personality.

@ #71 - I did it and you're right - hillarious! LMAO!!!!! Thanks for the suggestion :)

#74... that's a lot of laughing.

I wonder how much it would cost to rent her for Halloween? Sometimes I just don't feel like waiting for kid's to ring the doorbell and I bet a scary Skeleton on the front porch would scare the children enough not to knock or ring the doorbell at all.........

Wow, the waves weren't the only thing flat THAT day...

@ #75 - it sure is cus unlike the bobble-head look-a-like that is Nicole Richie.....I do indeed got back!

I feel ill after looking at those pictures. I may have to go to the hospital like Ben Affleck did.
http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/

#78
Shake shake shake
shake shake shake
Shake yo' booty...

Papa & Stallion are gifts from God.

Gifts I'd like to unwrap.

Listen to all these fat chicks trying to kepp Nic down. We like hot, thin, girls... DEAL WITH IT! Put down the Kentucky Fried Chicken flavored Ice Cream Cone and hop on the treadmill.

I just really hope she gets the help she needs.

Lamebanana said,
"They're too skinny and you make fun of them.. too fat and you make fun of them... a LITTLE curvy and you make fun of them.

I guaran-damn-tee you that all of you are deformed in some way. Most of you, first and foremost, by personality."

You are correct, I am deformed. I have a huge monstrosity hiding behind this zipper. And I would like to whip it out and beat you with it all around the lips and forehead area. I guaran-damn-tee you I'd beat you with it as if you owed me back-rent.

84: a land-beating mayhap?

84
Papa, you are one sick mother. But DAMN you're funny!

i feel bad for the girl on the right in the dress. it's probably a size 2 and she thinks she is fat compared to her company. damn... the girl on the left as a rubber band around her chest. SO GROSSSSSS

Eh, am I the only one who is 100% over the fact that she's too skinny? I just don't care anymore, the whole point of this post was to say she's skinny which hasn't been "news" for over a year.

#84

I think I love you.. just a little...

#82 You state that "nic" is thin yet "hot" , right?

I'm guessing you're blind, or a necro freak.

#82 You are so much funnier then mamafagballs

Yeah guys, we should like totally be on her side and support her cause anorexia is like totally serious and she could like die from it and stuff and she is probably like really sad and junk but she's like totally trying to act like she isn't but really she is...so, you know, like be all nice to her o.k.?

@84: Don't waste it on that ahole. Beat me with it like I'm a fruit smoothie.

Whipper,

The dump I took this morning had more insightful things to say than you. Please find the closest running automobile and wrap your festering suck-hole around the tailpipe.

Breathe deeply.
Repeat as necessary.

NewGuy, why do you compliment your own posts? That's really strange. I did a double-check on that one.

When did Olive Oyl go blonde?

Nicole was actually on her high school track team. She was the javelin.

@ #97 - I am literally sitting here LOL!!!! That is great!

#97

R.O.F.L.M.(obese size 5)A.O.

I'm on a diet where i cut out pictures of the food i want, and eat that. i want to be a size negative three like nicole and the rest of the my-clothes-have-to-be-custom-made-for-me-cuz-size-zero-falls-off crew.

She looks like Steve Urkel.

She looks like a used q tip in an expensive bikini.

My dick has more femine curves than this chick.

She's gonna look great hanging on my front door for Halloween this year.

She looks like Madga, the old lady in "There's Something About Mary."

That tattoo poking out looks like she was laying on her stomach, crapped herself and is getting up to clean up the spillage.

100 anybody got any cheeeeeese?

@63

anorexica...hahaha...dumbasss

@97

you're hilarious.

She reminds me of a chihuahua I used to have, Senor Tito

Stallion... muy respect for the AIC's reference... I am so proud of the original gang for not feeding into whats-his-name's "look at me!... I am holier than thou" mindless commentary. Keep up the good work, Feed Me & Papa. You are hilarious, and I check this website primarily for your posts, along with Stallion & Big Jim... Soon enough, he will move onto another website where he can manipulate and
soak up the attention... I mean, what the fuck, an anorexic man? Ha! I was a high-school wrestler, and when we had to cut weight before a match there was some anorexia involved... Plus sitting in a sauna with a garbage bag on to sweat off the pounds, but it was for an athletic purpose... Not because they were insecure and needing attention... Consider the source... don't criticize someone unless it is in mutual jest, because you have no right to open your funky mouth. (Anorexia rots your teeth due to the lack of nutrients...)

@91 Wrong, just give up

Listen, everybody. Nicole told Vanity Fair it's under control. Relax.
She's wearing bikinis from the pre-teen section now so there's nothing to worry about. Let's move on.

Congratulations to Nicole and her scarf for winning 2006's Most Unnecessary Accessory Award. It was a very tight race this year, with Paris Hilton's underwear coming in a close second.

thats hot

#92 - Like, ok. You like totally have like a point with all that stuff about like anorexia, or whatever. I heard from a friend that it's like a real diesase or something.

#103 - More like "Rent's due next week!" from King Pin.

108

Thanks, that makes up for the trolls.

ha ha yeah, nicole looks hot im gonna be as skinny as that one day hyoot!

Would somebody please explain to me how put a link to a picture or website under your post? Much appreciated.

115

I'll be that skinny one day.

When I'm withering away in my coffin.

#117

and isn't it hot?

The first image of them reminds me of those old cigarette ads before they were banned. There was either a really smiley couple or a trio of friends, laughing their heads and having the best time, completely in denial that smoking kills. Kind of like this picture, except they're in denial that anorexia kills.

#116 just type in the complete link (with the http:, etc.) and it'll work. It won't show up as a working link until you preview or post.

by the way that was a joke...

we should send nicole off to Namibia so Angelina can feed her to the other starving and helpless children so oh so adores.

You people are so insensitive. Manorexia is a real disease. I personally saw it affect some young, sensitive boys in high school. You know, the ones who hung out with girls only, were in drama club and had all the latest hair and clothes fads dialed in. The pubescent metrosexuals in training.

#116 Oh, and make sure there's a space between whatever you type and the beginning of the address, otherwise the computer just reads it all as one long word, not a legitimate address. I keep seeing people getting burned by that, wondering why their links don't work.

@121 So Oh So was my ex girlfriend, and she didn't really adore children, she would chase them around with chop sticks and it would scare them, hence why we broke up.......

#122

and don't forget the young boys in high school that wacked it to free willy while crying were also victims to manorexia. just like nicole.

#124

i meant she (angelina) oh so adores

Stallion, don't make me laugh when I have to go pee...

YAY, we're getting Papa pics! Bring it on, baby!

#125 Did they have the secondary complaint of hairy palms or blindness?

Thanks to the good doctor. I will try it.

www.papahotnuts.com

@ 129

of course... but mainly hairy palms

Perhaps since this is a true medical issue, our resident Dr. Rokter should weigh in with his educated opinion. Dr.???

@128
If you saw my pics, you would be Feed_Me_Melted_Chocolate.

Papa, I went to your link and it said coming soon. If I had known that I wouldn't have come already.

Fuck, I don't think it worked. Or did it? I'm stupid.

http://www.papahotnuts.com/ Jackass.....

#130: don't forget the entire address, starting with "http://...".

#63: it's Karen Carpenter. if you're going to invoke her name at least spell it correctly.

Is it me or does it look like she has some pubes peeping out the top of the bikini bottom?

#132 Anorexics all lack discipline. That's all there is to it. And they're crybabies, which makes their "disease" even worse. If there's one thing I learned in medical school, it's that crybabies never heal. And by "medical school" I mean, "being locked in my stepfather's woodshed". And by "never heal", I mean, "get beat with a board with a nail through it."

Okay, what the fuck is up with the huge sunglasses? I don't care who you are, they look hideous. Seriously, she looks like a bug-eyed freak.

And she looks like she's convulsing in the title picture.

Thanks Stallion, but I need to be a big boy and learn on my own. I think the Jackass part was uncalled for, but when I hump your sister, we'll be even. So let me try again.

http://www.papahotnuts.com/

Dr. Rokter did I tell you I went to nursing school? And by "nursing school" I mean dressed up like a slutty nurse for my husband on several occasions.

she looks so much better thinner, and shes not even that thin anymore, she's the same as most people its just that she lost so much weight, thats the only reason people are so obsessed. she's probably the right weight for her height

So let me know if you need any medical back-up.

im NOT that thin and I'm 5'2" and actually UNDERWEIGHT for my height. So yeah... she is TOO thin.

139- nope, definitely does not look like pubes

Papa, how did you get your chihuahua to yip with the music like that?

#143 That's interesting. I've known a couple chicks I think went to the same school as you. I'd of thought people in the medical profession would be more sanitary, quite honestly.

are you nuts 144? if you look down at your chest and it looks like that you have problems. a woman is supposed to have a nice soft ample bosom, not protruding bones.

thank you 150!

@142 I saw my sister trip and fall on the sidewalk this weekend and started to laugh, then I thought if I were an ant and she fell on me it wouldn't be that funny. In related news it was one of the biggest earthquakes on the east coast. I'll pay you to hump her, she needs it.............

Papahotnuts: COMING SOON
Pinky_nip: coming now

Let me know when your live. and I'll hit it everyday.

No way.. not this shit again about approving my posts...

#149 I forgot your specialty was psychiatry. You work with dirty minds....

I am quite sanitary...I always sterilize my instruments when were done.

# 152

ill hump your sister but its gonna cost you about 40 slim jims.

@156 correction, it will cost you 40 Slim Jims just to get her to show her face, then it will cost you more money for the Phychiatrist..........

@29-

It happens. When I was on painkillers (heavy shit, like Oxycontin, Dilaudid and Fentanyl) for my stomach, back and jaw pain, I actually GAINED a ton of weight because I could eat without pain, so I lost a lot after I stopped because I couldn't eat anymore without the horrendous pain. It is rare, but it depends. I think she switched heroin for cocaine (or crystal meth), personally. She looks terrible, poor pathetic little thing.

#144 I agree with you. She could stand to gain about 5 or so pounds but she looks better than when she has a fat heffer.

Taking bets.......

How many months has she gone without her period?

@147- I had my finger in his butt.

@152- I don't care about her size. I just don't want to be the only person on the Superficial who hasn't poked her yet.

@153- I can't wait for the day that we come together.

157 Phychiatrist?

It's the return to "The elongated matchstick" look, ala Twiggy.

@161: You're making my pussy purr.

Here kitty kitty.

Do you have some warm milk for kitty?

whats up with these bitches who are anorexic but still flabby? not eating doesnt make you less fat, i just makes you weak and still fat...try working out you dumb fucks...

Dang,

Did she hit the beach or did the beach hit her. It's called steak, buy one, cook it, eat it, and leave it in your gullet for atleast six hours.

I can show more bone than a T-Rex skeleton.

Lol, I wasn't even on this board or reading it, but I googled my name (whipper_willow) and got like 40 responses of my name typed on this page.

You losers must have nothing better to do than trash me with posts I don't read. That's pathetic/sad.

Nothing better to do but obsess over me... wow, that's all kinds of sad.

And Anorexia is a serious disease that NONE of you should be talking about unless you've lived it. It is deadly and uncontrollable. Unless you live a day in her shoes, I suggest you shut your ignorant, lazy, trash mouths.

I hope she gets better... it's hard to put on a happy face when your sick like that.

*Assuming she has Anorexia... she may be sick otherwise... her complexion looks good, so I'm not sure.

If you are too stupid to figure out the necessity of eating, you have been selected for extinction.

Chuck Darwin

It's not that... they know they have to eat and do... just VERY little. It's a disease that makes it very difficult to mentally eat something.

Ignorance is bliss, but not in your case, it makes you seam uneducated.

uneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducated

Would you make fun of someone who had cancer?

Maybe you low class freaks would.

People who have cancer? you mean the Chemo Pals?

I'm leaving so whatever you losers say I wont read, don't waste your time. Not like it would mean anything anyway.

That poor girl. I have never seen a chest like that on a person who didn't live in a third world country afflicted by famine. =:>0

And those horrible, horrible sunglasses....

@177- Hey whipper bananas! Check your email you fat fucking twat. I hope you like it. If I knew how to post a pic right here I would do it. Don't start telling me that I'm going to be prosecuted for emailing you either, you lump of shit. You took the initiative to email me last week, so get ready for fun. Bitch.

Papa, you are such a tease. What's with the "Coming Soon" crap?

180-- Papa's a twat tease.

Who is this Whipper_willow chick and why are her panties on so tight? Is she the new spokesperson for all of the shallow Hollywood anorexics whom we should all feel sad for because they can't eat without some innate desire to stick their finger down their throats?

IT IS TIME TO ASK JESUS TO FORGIVE YOU FOR YOUR SINS, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!! Isn't it a great feeling to know that no matter what, you can always turn to Jesus and ask for forgiveness? He is coming back to earth very soon, and He is
taking the true believers with him to Heaven for eternal life. DO YOU WANT TO HAVE ETERNAL LIFE, OR DO YOU WANT TO SUFFER AND BURN IN HELL? The choice is yours. SATAN IS THE BIGGEST LIAR AND BACKSTABBER WHO EVER WAS!!!! TURN YOUR BACK TO HIM AND FOLLOW JESUS, AND JESUS WILL PROTECT YOU FROM THE EVIL ONE'S RATH!!!

http://www.myspace.com/papahotnuts

Check it out bitches!

who the hell wears a scarf at the beach???

Shoulda known Papa was a coonass!

by the power of greyskull can someone get her a snack.

Are you sure this is Ritchie?

It looks like a random snapshot of a beach in South Florida with some yenta out for a stroll, cackling about something unmentionable, with her head cocked back to ensure her dentures don't slide out.

It seems these dumb bitches have gobbled up the sunglasses collection from the estate of the late Barney Martin, who played Morty Seinfeld.

@183

"Edna Shmedna go drop dead-na!"
-Jim Carrey.....and me

@184
Shit- I forgot about that. I think I check it out about once a month. Thanks for the reminder though.

@186
Coonass to the tilt.

I recall my hobo friends and I were wallowing on the beach one day when I caught sight of a tender, golden-skinned lad prancing by with an entourage. I wondered, at the time, why he was wearing a bikini top but was aroused nonetheless - indeed, this circumstance sharpened my arousal.

Now I find out that that delicious lad who fueled my fantasies for countless weeks was merely Nicole Richie. This proves, I suppose, that we beggars can't be choosers.

See you in hell, Edna.

@66, 71. Papa & Feed_Me, you rock!

You still there Whimper / Lame / Derek Swanson?

The scarf is to hide the tube they use to suck the brain matter out of her head. It's the latest craze you know. Then they feed that to the dingos.

Mmmm...rib bones are sexy

Christ, who the hell are all those people with her?? Was this some phony photo-op to scare the shit out of us to donate money to feed the starving of Darfur, so that we will think she reaaaly, reeeeely cares about the "little people"??
Anyway, I like the guy that's with her, he has a nice bulge in his jeans...yummy...

Papa you totally rock...I want to bear your children...

edna is that you.

If it is, my jesus doesn't judge. He loves everyone even us sinners. When we all get the big bird flu and kick it, I will be laughing at you from above.

Go do something constructive like prove evolution wrong, oh wait you can't.

#183 - Edna, you ignorant slut - that's WRATH, not RATH...

Woooooowwwww... I'm so impressed you show your immaturity by sending my a bunch of e-mails on an account I made up and never check. Just proves to me that what I said pissed you off and raised your blood pressure, thereby making your obsession with me greater.

The only thing you accomplished?
...
...
...
...
You put a sly grin on my face because I know I got to you, you pathetic internet loser

--------> :-} (my sly grin)
...
...
...
...
You're a loser.

papawhaddaBUTT(face)

THAT'S YOUR NEW NAME HA HA HA HA HA HA.

(I thought immaturity would be something you could understand better... did you get that? Or, can I talk grown-up again and use the big words?)

Was I too redundant by calling papawhaddabuttface a loser twice? Hope so.

On another note... big sunglasses are SO played.

God, shut up.

Nobody likes you, or is entertained. And obsessed? You aren't interesting enough for anyone to be obsessed over, so get OVER yourself.

Okay, here's how it goes you guys...

papawhaddabuttface
youdont_need_no_chocolate
sweatcheeks
Yoda has no Schlong Has
m@ce_we*all*r@ce*away*from*the*loser

And that's how I roll. Losers. So you can name call papawhaddabuttface? That makes you SOO original and SOO special and SOOO smart.

Do you realize how that post makes you look?

Like an obsessed internet sit-in-front-of-the-computer-all-day loser... oh, wait, you are.

If you aren't obsessed, why do you continue to read what I post and reply on it?

You are obsessed and are stalking me, pure and simple.

Okay, so someone said earlier that Nicole looks like Magda from There's Something About Mary. SO I kind of took the idea and ran. note that all I did was paste Nicole's face onto Magda's body, adjust the skin tone to match, and added some film grain to match the fuziness of the original.
http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e56/sohall/magdacopy.jpg

It's scary how much she looks like an old lady.

aivilo... stop making stupid syntax errors.

Feed_Me_Chocolate...

you have a lot of spare time on your hands to waste sitting on your butt in front of the computer. Get a job, lazy.

Whipper-Bananas

You posted:
Woooooowwwww... I'm so impressed you show your immaturity by sending my a bunch of e-mails on an account I made up and never check. Just proves to me that what I said pissed you off and raised your blood pressure, thereby making your obsession with me greater.

Um...may I point out that you sent him an email and he just replied. And apparently, you do check the email otherwise, you wouldn't have seen the emails.

Just saying...

Cruising...

papawhaddabuttface told me he sent me an e-mail, IF you would have read his post, you would have seen that, but apparently, you can't read... or comprehend.

And he replied TWICE. I never re-wrote anything. And the first one I wrote just said that we should truce, but I don't think anyone here knows how to be nice.

Why are you so obsessed with everything I type?

It's whipper_willow... in no way am I bananas, Iambananas or lambananas... I have ONE account name and that is it... get it through your pea brains.

By the way, no one is obsessed with you. As you can see, we generally read one anothers comments and comment on them. That's kind of how this works.

The First Assembly of God is looking for you...

Everyone is here... NewGuy, Papa, Jacq, Edna, Tranny, Stallion, Ari, Feed_Me, Cruising, tsarina, Saucie, Land-Man... It's like a fucking family reunion... (emphasis on fucking)

Just want you all to know my pussy is freshly waxed, and needin' action... my hubby is working late :-(

So, I sat in on a freshman Personal Fit. class today to help Mr. DC, and therefore I was surrounded by LAME for an hour of my existence.

However:
"papawhaddabuttface
youdont_need_no_chocolate
sweatcheeks
Yoda has no Schlong Has
m@ce_we*all*r@ce*away*from*the*loser"

That has got to be the fucking lamest thing I've ever heard/seen in my entire life. Go do something productive besides making up gayass names like a 5 year old.

& syntax?? You can barely speak english!
Anywayz, I have Chem homework, so I'm outie. Make sure to leave some stupidass response to this for me to laugh over tomorrow!

You lie, lie, lie!

And you are BANANAS. I can prove it.

Hi, Cruising!

Tranny and Fa Cube--you've got mail

http://www.thesuperficial.com/2006/05/29/brad_pitt_and_angelina_jolie_g_1.html#comment

I am VERY proud of my post #154...

Holy crap!!! Did someone hit her in the chest with a crowbar?
And I think all those people are standing around her so incase she falls, she won't shatter to pieces.
Kinda the way the T1000 did in T2.

Give her another 5 or so years... the "super skinny" thing will so backfire, a la Terri Hatcher... gross.

I'm so sick & tired of girls and attention whores wearing glasses as big as satelite dishes.

I see the representative of the Moron nation is here with all its alter egos.

Emphasis on idiot.

it's so obvious she is living off attention (instead of food)

why else would she go to the beach wearing that much jewelry & shit? Obviously not to swim.

What really bothers me is that she tries to be a fashion icon, but she's dressed by a stylist. That just makes you someone's paperdoll. Does she actually DO anything besides change outfits and pose around town? Job? Hobby? Anything?

Whipper... last night after Feed_Me made me come about 4 times, we talked about you.... and then we laughed at you. Feed_Me is a hot piece of ass, something you'll never be.

And where the fuck is my troll, eva86??? God, I miss that quiff.

someone email me please...

I'm very worried about MeganHarris. Which one of you fuckers made her go away?

#221 -- Seriously, you don't think "The Simple Life" is a contribution to global society? It is the single greatest recruiting video for Al-Quaida's "Future Jihadists: Death to the Great Satan" campaign. That has to count for something.

Thu, 25 May 2006 13:43:38 -0700 (PDT)
From: Send an Instant Message "Simon Garfunkel" Iambananas
To: papahotnuts@yahoo.com
I am Bananas, and you are mean mean mean. Why do you constantly say "going to ignore" to me when just saying that constitutes communication? You're a real idiot.

Whipperbanana- this was your email to me last week. Notice your email address (whipper_willow@yahoo.com) , then notice your fucking content, where you describe yourself as I am Bananas. I only hope that you are one of the regular posters in disguise, just fucking with the rest of us. I can't believe there is someone accidentally this stupid. You lead me to believe that the highest suicide rate in the world is always a ten foot radius around your fat ass. People would rather kill themselves than be in your presence. I know, I know, I am paying attention to you and obsessed with you and all that, but you're kinda like a horrible car accident. You don't want to look, but the potential horror makes you stare. Well, I gotta run, it was nice talking to you, and please don't just stare down the barrell tonight. Go ahead and pull the trigger. I dare you. I double-dog dare you. Fucking twat.

krisdylee, what was that that you posted in 216??? And you need to give me your address, you can't just go give me the greatest pleasure I've ever had and then just take it away, to quote a blonde. Well at least have your husband email me, he's got mine. (oops, that was supposed to be a secret. I swear, krisdylee, it didn't mean anything, it was just mindless sex). I don't blame anyone for being scared to post their email on here, seeing as how the trolls are alive and well.
XOXOXOXO

225
Sweetcheeks, I was drinking soda when I was reading that, and came thisclose to blowing it out my nose. You funny beeyotch.

Like I said, emphasis on idiot.

with a little retarded on the side.

Later, my friends, my husband requires the use of my "facilities" tonight. *wink wink*

that wasn't aimed at you Choco.

Me too. I wanna be like PAPA. If you aren't bananas, why you wanna represent like that?

From : Simon Garfunkel
Sent : Saturday, May 27, 2006 8:38 PM
To : Donna F
Subject : Re: I am Iambananas

| | | Inbox


Ok

Donna F wrote:
Seriously, No bananas!
----- Original Message -----
From: Simon Garfunkel
To: cruising4donna@msn.com
Sent: Friday, May 26, 2006 9:28 PM
Subject: I am Iambananas

I posted my e-mail addy first! Anyway... what's going on? I'm kind of getting sick of the superficial... same old stories all the time. Know any other good sites?

If Nicole's rich daddy won't slap her skinny ass in treatment, what are WE supposed to do? And she may as well give up trying to be some kind of fashionista. She used to look kind of good, now she looks like she just finished a year on a Death March. Nicole is a mess, Paris is a mess, Britney is a mess, Lindsey is a mess, etc., etc.

that was a, um, a mean thingy to syya to mme, and i donut likke to bee tweateed tat way!

last nit my freend whipper slippd mee thu tung, an d it was kinda cool, cus wear jus budds inall, but um,

whut wuz i saain?

oh! i am nut lame bananas, itss Iambananas, jessus ppl, lrne to speel!

whut do u tink aboat lost? i tinkk said is kinda hot, btt my, um, buddi tinks hes skinne.

Cruising- I did some seriously inappropriate things to my cell phone after getting your text messages. Does my cell phone insurance cover "jizz damage"?

Looks like its time to fire up the good old after school special "Jenny, Eat Something". Not quite as good as "Secret Cutting", but close.

Papa, once again, I'll lick it off for you.

It's like so cold on the beach you need a scarf to cover up the heroin needle marks embedded in her neck...right...she definitely looks like she gained some weight in that lollipop head of hers...nice nasty sunken chest where your 34 Bs USED to be Nicole!

Cruisin'- need I say more than Orbitz?
Leave
Fri, Jun 16
Northwest Airlines 1565
Northwest Airlines
Depart:
11:25am
Arrive:
12:42pm
New Orleans, LA (MSY)
Memphis, TN (MEM)
1 stop

Change planes. Time between flights: 1hr 48min
Northwest Airlines 1856
Northwest Airlines
Depart:
2:30pm
Arrive:
5:45pm
Memphis, TN (MEM)
Baltimore, MD (BWI)
Total duration: 5hr 20min

Just say the word.

Papa, I happen to be free that weekend. Bring the anal lube.

I tried to buy "anal lube" at the Piggly Wiggly and got a tube of "Granpa Melvin's Old Time Mentholated Salve" by mistake.

It burned the hell outta my ass, but my sinuses have never been clearer.

I fucking adore you sweetcheeks!

Heh, had something like that happen in my fraternity years ago. My roommate and I are sitting there watching tube when some random drunken bowhead comes in and asks if we have any vaseline/ky/etc. We wave her into the bathroom and she comes back out with Blue Mineral Ice.

From the yelling that followed next door, I can only assume that the sex was awesome.

I luv stupid drunks. :)

sorry fuckers this has nothing to do with anything on this thread. Cope.

Fa Cube;

Man, base yourself out of Boulder, you are within 12 miles of Eldorado Canyon, Boulder Canyon is right there and Longs Peak is maybe 45 minutes away, there will be something for all climbing abilities.
email me if you want, I've posted this address so many times, one more won't matter

theincredibletrannygranny@yahoo.com

If this bitch gets any skinnier, she will implode and become the center of the new black hole, kinda like Lindsay lohans pussy.

Ok, off to read the thread and see whassup!

*gasp!*

Someone's off topic. I may have to notify the troll authorities.

YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY FREAKIN' LIBTURDS, AND YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT TROLLS! I HAVE THE URGE TO GO TO WALMART AND JERK OFF IN YOUR LIBTURD SALAD, FREAKIN' HIPPIE!

In that first pic, from the neck up she really looks like an older Jewish lady named "Ethel". Probably on her way to hit the early bird dinner - a nice piece of fish, and a small salad with the dressing on the "soid". The sort of nice old lady who would show pictures of her grandkids to the waitress.

Ari;

Oh baby, I love it when I make you gasp!

Sweetcheeks;

That was funny shit, and reminded me about menthol.....this girl went down on me with some mentholated cough drops in her mouth one time, she said it helped lube her mouth. All I know, my penis has never been so alpine-fresh.

when you can use your sunglasses as a bikini top in an emergency, you know you need to eat a little bit more.

Im having flashbacks to Auschwitz...Calling Dr. Mengele.

Tranny--

Follow that gasp with a groan and we're good to go.

I've never used cough drops, but Altoids work too.

Then again, you could always stick with the basic ice cubes.

whippoorwill

Whip-poor-will \Whip"-poor-will`\, n. (Zo["o]l.) An American bird (Antrostomus vociferus) allied to the nighthawk and goatsucker; -- so called in imitation of the peculiar notes which it utters in the evening. [Written also whippowil.]

weeping willow
n.
A widely cultivated deciduous tree (Salix babylonica) native to China, having long slender drooping branches and narrow leaves.

Wipper_willow: n. A pathetic piece of pig shit who eats paint chips and has an uncanny knack for misspelling the most rudimentary words in the English language.

see: fucktard

Lotsa sex.. that's what I like to read.

#255---

hahahahaaaa... paint chips...

Is it weird that Papa's site is already on my favorites???

It goes without saying that she looks absolutely terrible. It's a toss up for me whether she looks better now or when she was a fat whale during The Simple Life. What I find funny is that she surrounds herself with such a freakish looking group of "friends" in what I can only assume is her effort to draw attention away from her disgusting body. Awful.

Fucktard is my new favorite word.

Krisdylee, would you please let BigJim out of your vagina, I kind of miss him.

I love how you can see where both of them used to have belly-button piercings.

Belly-button piercings are out, bug-eye sunglasses and wearing scarves to inappropriate places is totally IN!

Heh, "goatsucker". Bet that species is THRILLED to have that name. I can just see them lobbying extensively to be called "flying rats".

255- it's funny because you know the twat is still compulsively checking this...

Maybe that Twat is my favorite word.

Poor Nicole. You would think those selfish Paparazzi bastards would give her a sandwich, or a bowl of watered down cornmeal. It's like one of those Sally Struthers commercials. All she needs is some flies crawling around the corners of her eyes.

Why is she looking up in all the pics? Delirium brought on by hunger, or trying to tell if it's time to purge again?

since technically a Whipoorwill (Wipper_willow) is a goatsucker. From now on when I obsess over the fucktard I'm going to lovingly refer to it as "goatsucker."

goatsucker twat

I'm surprised she just doesn't avoid the paparazzi by diving between the grains of sand.

That scarf she's wearing is still bugging the hell out of me though. It's got to be to throw everybody off how freakishly big her head is compared to the rest of her.

Freaking bobble-head.

#258--
No, not weird. It annoys me that he's 'coming soon' and I haven't even gotten started yet. That's some piss-poor timing.

Anybody happen to see Paris Hilton's announcement today that her first single is going to be a Reggae song?

'Cause, you know, nothing says Reggae like a rich WASPy chick. De I&I tink 'er song gonna get Ja mighty pissed.

The Romans have a god for everything except premature ejaculation, and he's coming quickly.

271: "coming soon" and "piss-poor"???

Make up your mind - do you like your men coming or going?

Fourgasm?

YES! 4 in a row.

GOOD NIGHT LIBTURDS, CONSERVATARDS, FUCKTARDS, WHIPPERTARDS, CHOLATARDS, NAZITARDS, SHRUBTARDS, SCIENTOLOTARDS, HOMOTARDS, WHORETARDS, FREAKTARDS, AND ASSCLOWNS!!!

STAND IN FREAKIN' AWE OF THE WHITE SHRIVELED BALLSACK, BITCHES!!!

Awww! It's so tiny!

it looks like a little mouse!

#274

Fa-- I like my men coming and going.. in and out.. for as long as they can hold out, or in. Or whatever.

Seriously, Paris is doing Reggae? Now there's some good ammunition.

Maybe she will go on location to Aruba to film the video for her reggae ditty and the locals will pull a Natalie Holloway on her ass.

I can hope.

YOU TOO, FREAKIN' MOUSETARD!!!

Ari: Well, you know the test of a true man...

If he can keep up with the backbeat on James Brown's "I Feel Good" you've probably got a keeper.

Yup, Paris is gonna sing reggae. And *shudder* do some rapping, too. The best part about the whole press conference was that she said she had to overcome her shyness to be able to sing. Shy? I've seen her equipment more than I've seen mine; shy is one problem she doesn't have.

Paris is doing reggae? Holy shit, I just wet my pants - how about rap instead?? She could get together with K-Fed and she could sing the lyrics to "PopoZao" while he fucks her in the ass...great video...

Lets see who can pick the best rap name for her - I'll start with "P-Twat" or "SkankMama" - don't forget there's always room at the Hilton, Paris can always slip you in...bwaaaaaaa

Harry: you spoke too soon. She is going to rap. I vote for "Paris Hilton & The Burning Sensations"

"Paris Hilton & The Snail Trails" might work, too.

LOL Fa Cube...!!!!

She could do a rap remake of Frank Zappa's "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee???

Nyuk nyuk!!!!!

Fa, #283

So THAT'S the true test, huh? Hmmm, and I was just going to find a guy with a nice car. Who can also screw me senseless. Hell, maybe even IN the nice car. Haven't done that since I was a teenager. Good times...

'cept no one would believe that "she got it from the toilet seat." What a 'tard...I live in a desert, I will buy her CD to keep the coyotes away this summer...

Yeah. AC/DC's "The Jack" would probably have to be on there, too, as would Ice Cube's "Look Who's Burnin'"

289 - Ari:

Or a guy who can lick you into such a frenzy that God needs a cigarette when you're done. That could work too, I guess.

Fa Cube--

You are an evil mofo.

yeah... that could work.

Evil???

Some people would consider me to be *very* good. Very good indeed.

Yeah, people that are currently enjoying the benefits of your talents.

Damn Viking tease.

#291

She could do a cover of Skynyrd's 'That Smell'

That would be appropriate...

Methinks shethinks she is in a crest whitestrip commercial.

I think they're walking in slow motion. Yes. Slow motion. For effect.

you'd think an imprint of a penis on a womans chest would be funny. instead it makes me wanna puke

"Posted by Whipper_willow on May 30, 2006 05:19 PM

It's not that... they know they have to eat and do... just VERY little. It's a disease that makes it very difficult to mentally eat something.

Ignorance is bliss, but not in your case, it makes you seam uneducated.

uneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducateduneducated"

Weepy, I totally agree with you. I think it's, like, SO HARD to mentally eat something.

#300

Don't make fun of Pussy_Willow's misplaced modifiers. It's only because he's not ashamed (unlike others)to explore the full range of the English language, with all of its attendant possibilities.

i *just* realized who this bitch reminds me of in these horrifying photos: the chick from Boogie Nights who ODs on coke at a pool party.

God I'm good

#301

"Split infinitive" actually works better.

She looks like she's about to sneeze in every shot.

All these comments from lame banana/whipper/katie about how feed-me is so old...geez, I am probably at least twice as old as she is. I bet I am old enough to be his mother. Oh wait, maybe I am. Derek, is that you? Derek, I TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES TO STAY OFF THIS WEBSITE! It is past your bedtime, go to bed RIGHT NOW! And don't get back on the internet again until I tell you it's OK.

oh nicole darling don't listen to the haters. you do not look like you have gained a singl