May 11 2006Lindsay Lohan on The Ellen DeGeneres Show

First.

liya your dead to me, you first posting cunt.

one time, i was riding my bicycle on the freeway, and all these cars and trucks kept honking at me because i was really slow, and i found an old mattress, three rims, and a yard of dental floss on the shoulder. true story.

third?

then i assembled them all into a pseudo pyramid with a hot glue gun and two rolls of duct tape and made it a statement piece on the disentegration of western society and the evils of modern man. i'll be on the ellen show next week interpreting it for the masses, stay tuned.

Wow I can't believe a tit didn't fall out. That's got to be a first!

LOL....."Maybe she's finally discovered that cocaine gives her superhuman strength"....bery funny. The girl is going crazy, Im not going to see her movie by the way.

i hate lindsay lohan

Can someone teach her how to use a fucking hairbrush! fucking retard. And fuck you too leo

I hate her too

So that's what my boyfriend's been doing all of this time. Push-ups!

#2 - I vote that #2 is the new #1 on this thread.

i want what drugs shes on!

"You're not legal to drink either.."

Awesome comeback.

I had a feeling that LL might be a carpet muncher, and this proves it.

Ellen DeGeneres needs the hog. It shows.

And really, isn't that Lindsey's problem too? All kidding about coke-whore aside, you can tell from looking at her she's never had a *real* man. Or a real woman. Fuck pushups - Ellen should have stuck her arm up Lindsey's rectum and massaged her heart, while shoving her face onto the couch to make her eat the fucking cushions and beg for a second helping. Then she'd be okay, you haters.

Push ups....She should have challenged her to a real mans game. Arm Wrestling!

I always wanted an Uncle Leo.

#2 is totally the new #1!!

Can someone watch this and tell me what happens.

Someone should tranquilize this girl and hold her under the bathwater. She needs to be scrubbed with lots and lots of soap.

way more importantly did anyone hear this one? not that its a shocker or anything

http://www.bloggingbaby.com/2006/05/09/tom-cruise-and-katie-holmes-hammering-out-their-separation/?src=AOL

Soap wouldn't help this skank, she's way past that.

She needs an iodine bath, stat.

Fez can kiss my Land-Balls.

I hate Lindsay Lohan.

IHLL

TCLTC

god, must we be notified by Superfish every time this chick takes a shit?

i love how Ellen told her she wasn't old enoguh to drink and you just she Lindsay go "oh shit"

that was the most oddest 8 minutes of my life

How come the SF didn't show the whole video? The one I saw had Ellen whip out a 2' strap-on, bend Hohan over the couch & start hammering her ass. She kept that up until Portia came from backstage, killed the troll Ellen (FINALLY!) and told Hohan to pull that fake cock out of her ass and start eating some Portia pussy. Best episode of Ellen ever. It ended with Tom Cruise stealing the strap-on & you can hear him wondering if Katie will use it on him, maybe that will save their relationship. Because TCLTC.

Fez is a good kisser...? WTF...?
(Seriously, I'll have that terrible thought in my mind all f'ing day, ewww!)

whatever, Fez is hot

I ALWAYS wonder with interviews like this...Is Ellen rolling her eyes thinking Jeez, this girl is high as a kite. Or if she reiks of alcohol or something and Ellen is distgusted. I always wonder......

Cocaine's a helluva drug.

I sent this in to the Superficial, but they seem to not want to go with it.....Nothing to do with LL, but watch TC make an even bigger fool of himself, What an a**hole!. Hilarious. Paste link to browser bar.

http://gotdetroit.com/gd/?p=440

I willing to put money on the fact that Tom Cruise wants to suck Ellens cock, any takers?

I did some third legged push-ups this morning.

Oh, those were hardly push-ups L-Lo was doing. Fucking drama queen.

Uh yeah, Lindsay, those aren't push-ups. Half-push-ups maybe - or semi push-ups.

Oh, Dr. Rokter, I love your medically articulate posts.

Why is this crackwhore a celebrity? And like being able to do one-legged pushups for her is a big deal? She weighs like all of 90 pounds. I could so break her little twig arms in half, after giving her face a swedish massage--you know, the kind where you do chopping motions with your hands. Do you notice also how she can't sit still? Prime example of a tweaker.

Upon watching that clip, my computer screen started to sweat and shake, while my mouse started to stumble drunkenly all over my desk, reeking of booze. The final straw was my speakers, which sniffed repeatedly and babbled incoherently about smoking coco-puffs last night at Bungalow 8.

#32

i bought some garlic knots from the deli the other day and they were called "papas hot knots"

true story.

Well at least she changed her clothes since the matt lauer interview which she had been wearing the same clothes for a few days...but doesnt look like she showered much since..
Cocaine is a hell of a drug- rick james!

#32

i heard Tom Cruise was licking some guy's balls the other day and moaning "I *love* Papa's Hot Nuts"

true story

Hey Feed_Me_Chocolate, fyi, I answered the letter you wrote to me on Ashlee Makes A Pitstop Thread.

Love and Kisses,
Mr. Science

#24 - What was that supposed to be?

God, we are all watching this Lohan person as she crashes and burns. This is gonna be the first completely documented and reported pseudo-celebrity tragedy filmed in real time.

Just watch her sudden spiral into suicide after that crapfest movie of hers stinks up the american and international box-office.

good time to be alive and bitter.

Correct. I am obsessed with coke and push-ups. Anything wrong with that?

#40
Okay, Weird Science, methinks you spent waayyy too much time on that. No wonder you wanted me to not miss it.

I can't help but see Lindsay and think about the freaky circus type of things I could do to her. Really, who is going to believe a coke whore when she tries to say all the crazy shit I did to her?

Lindsey Lohan Loves the Crack. LLLTC.

And now my day is ruined, because I've just watched Hohan and Ellen go down on the carpet together. Repeatedly.

#42 I don't see that happening, much to my dismay. She's like Shannen Doherty - she'll always be down, but she'll never be out.

will somebody, anybody, please beat the shit out of her??? and if i could choose, i think i would like juliette lewis to do it with her yellow suit on.

Tom Cruise sucks and licks the cock as well. Why couldn't he have had a Brandon Lee moment on MI3? Karma is a bitch sometimes. Lindsey Lohan has peaked and is coming down the mountain.

#47 we musn't lose hope, remember, Shannen has a certain inner strength and bitchiness of character that this girl just doesn't have.

this girl has no character whotsoever.

That Lindsey is one hot mother fucker. I love her scratchy voice. She is only 19 and will only get hotter. You haters go suck Tom Cruise's little tallywacker!

She doesn't even do them right; you need to go down far enough so your nose practically touched the floor. This is what my elementary school gym teacher would call "cheating". But if she really wants a challenge, do the one-armed push-up, one leg doesn't prove anything. Long live Jack Palance.

She's so retarded.

agreed with #33... those were some pretty weak pushups, indeed

lindsay looks so cute damn she hot keep doin puch ups and get stronger lol they are made coz they cant do puchups

You know, the last time I saw Richard Lynch was in The Barbarian Brothers. It's nice that he can still find work. Must be all the push-ups.
http://www.coldfusionvideo.com/b/barbarians-b.jpg
http://dvdrama.com/upload/KLAATU-lynchvamp.jpg

Seriously, what happened to her? Doesn't she have twenty redneck family members to support? How does she have any money left for coke?

who are the fucktards in the audience who gave her a standing welcome?

I can't understand what Ellen says in the part where she asks if LL gambles..."you're not legal to...either" What is it????

aha...just read the comments...nevermind

19 and it's all downhill from here. She shows up with a tent dress, unruly hair and looks like two guys just got through banging her for several hours in their hotel room.

And this is on her good day.

She comes across as a skanky little twat. Why is she even cast in movies at this point?

# 50 very true

Sheva #59 - Very much like Kirsten Dunst and look what happened to that one.

Wow, she's lucky she has the crappy movie to promote and can get all this kinda shit out of the way now. Cause the Prarie Home Companion people would be pissed if she gave an interview like that while promoting their Oscar bait.

Why do people cast her in movies? and why do talk shows have her as a guest? she sucks!! an she is looking more and more like a cracked out whore everyday... she will end up like Whitney any day now.
http://celebreligion.com

Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan! Go Lohan!

Lindsay is so freakin' cute! I love her voice.

She looks like she's 30... when she's thirty she's going to look like she's 50... too much partying, drinking and smoking. She looks aweful... and she... she is... WAIT FOR IT!!!

Stupid girl, stupid girls, stupid girls
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there
Laughing loud so all the little people stare
Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne
(Drop a name)
What happened to the dreams of a girl president
She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent
They travel in packs of two or three
With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees
Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?
Oh where, oh where could they be?

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

(Break it down now)
Disease's growing, it's epidemic
I'm scared that there ain't a cure
The world believes it and I'm going crazy
I cannot take any more
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in
That will never be me
Outcasts and girls with ambition
That's what I wanna see
Disasters all around
World despaired
Their only concern
Will they **** up my hair

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

[Interlude]
Oh my god you guys, I totally had more than 300 calories
That was so not sexy, no
Good one, can I borrow that?
[Vomits]
I WILL BE SKINNY

(Do ya thing, do ya thing, do ya thing)
(I like this, like this, like this)
Pretty will you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!
Pretty would you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!

Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, stupid girl!

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

What a raspy voice for a 19 year old, she sounds like she's 40 years old and has a really bad smoking habit or something! I really wish she would confess to all those guys that Ellen enumerated, and just be blunt and say, YES Ellen I'm a skank whore slut who has a really bad cocaine addiction, enough already, please! Let me do another push-up, SEE?!

@54-

Somewhere there is an ESL class waiting for you...don't be late, or your teacher will be "made" at you and make you do some "puch ups". English. Learn it, love it.

I am reporting all disgusting posts! I have 42 names and counting!

@57: she says you're not legal to drink either

what part does she say "oh shit"? didnt she that part in there at all

Oh good, all actors and actresses should be crazy in their interviews; apparently that's the new way to promote movies. I'm sure Prarie Home Companion will do really well.

#69 - I can't tell if you're kidding, or if you're an asshat. Reporting other people for being disgusting; look at what number you posted as. You're the one that's disgusting, you big perv. Go home, we don't want you here.

Praz;

That's not the real Edna, man. When Edna shows up, you'll know. Oh, getting reported by real Edna is a joke, I was reported for my views on Mexican cuisine. Seriously.

#51
u are right about wat u said finally a fan of Lindsay and one more time u can all just suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk it
#43
And that for u Lindsay coke is the best thing in the world maybe after smoking
Any way Lindsay is the best
U can all go and suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk it
gays wana be hot like Lindsay

I bet lindsays nunu looks like a sweaty, gnat infested, california roll at a cheap sushi bar..

and the possibility was there for so much potential..........

leave Her Alone. SHe gets on my nerves too, but she's only doing what she needs to be doing. And all the things they say about her are all lies. Hohan!

@ 39
I hope you die soon. I'm not kidding. I really hope you choke on a pickle and die tomorrow. I will send flowers to the funeral, but I promise to urinate on them first and hope your mother leans over to smell them and gets my urine on her nose.

To:#44 (FEED_ME_CHOC..)
Oh I guess ur right, I'm so "weird".

Instead of making wildly inventive comedic comments about the actual celebs I should stick to:

* Multi-insult posts ONLY about other SF readers
* Post 15-20 comments per EVERY thread
* Spaced out by a couple of minutes-MAX!
* Talking about how big my balls are
* How pale MeganHarris is
* How (INSERT NAME HERE) doesn't have a life but I'm posting at work meaning I'm employed so that MUST be SOLID PROOF THAT I DO HAVE A LIFE even though I'm refreshing the SF comment page every couple of seconds and driving up the total thread comments over the 300's of bullshit insults and stupid in-fighting.

Thanks for showing me the light. ;)

Uh, yeah, pushups... hey you numb cunty drug-addict, try "lugging your screaming 4-year-old daughter from the Barbie aisle at Wal-mart, in high heels, shove said kid in the car, go home, unload groceries, pick 7 year old up from bus stop, cook dinner, help 7 year old with homework, log on to SF a few times during the day/evening, eat dinner, clean-up dinner, have gabfest with hubby, get kids off to bed, watch Survivor, smoke a fatty, fuck husband, log on to SF before bed, sleep 6.5 hours, wake up..."

we don't care about you LL. Fuck OFF.

prideofchucky, i think you're high just like me.

my pushups so shit all over hers

I like the bit where Ellen reads out the names and Hohan squirms like she got her love beads stuck.

SQUIRM BITCH!!!

she says "oh i said it" not "oh shit". and lindsay lohan still looks like frankie muniz.

#78, You are so friggin right. I feel for you. Us "little people" have jobs, families, and financial stressors. I don't want to be rich and famous, but I'd like a nice vacation now and then. Celebrities like her are fun to watch, like a Panda Bear exhibit. I feel better after posting my disdain for these spoiled brats.

this whore
could not bore
me more

oh yeah, #78 krisdylee;

lol. you are soooo damn right. lol.

try that shit and I'll be impressed.

I think there may be something seriously wrong with me. I LIKE her slight insanity. She's got moolah or moxy whatever it's called.

Give me a pickle, I need something to suck on....

Did somebody punch both her eyes?

Lindsey lohan is so gross and filled with freckles .The sight of her red face, thin dead end hair, pale skin, old ladies voice, and horrible shape makes me want to puke. If I ever saw her on the street I would kick her ass for being so annoying. No one cares about you LL....get over your skanky cocaine self.

She does seem rather cracked out. No pun. And she needs to understand the concept of "one word." My fave part was @ the end where ellen goes "You're not allowed to drink either" hahhahaha