May 9 2006Jake Gyllenhaal has a new girlfriend

first??? shes hot

Maybe she has a power pussy....

Yikes. I don't find Jake that attractive but even I know he could do waaaay better than that.

i thought he was gay!?

Fucking Woof.

http://simplythebest.net/sounds/WAV/sound_effects_WAV/sound_effect_WAV_files/dog_1.wav

I like Kirsten's breasts.

I like her jagged teeth.

:(

Jake and Kirsten should get back together, they always seemed happy.

Oh COME ON!!! Its the same old thing Hollywood publicists have ALWAYS done. Get a celebrity Lesbian and a Celebrity gay guy and hook them up...or a famous gay guy and an unknown straight woman willing to fake it for a few years for the money (i.e. Rock Hudsons Wife......and Katie holmes)

Jake is gayer than a figure skating competition.

And by the way, Tom Cruise isn't gay.....he just loves the cock.

Gretchen Bleiler, pictured yesterday: http://www.thecentreofattention.org/exhibitions/afghan.jpg

Qdarks

Well she made the cover of FHM in body paint no less, after the Olympics... you know Jake likes them "athletic"...

Holy snapping foreskins, Batman! That schnozz is big enough to nostril fuck.

#10, that photo is brilliant. i clicked the link without reading it. Hillarious!
http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com

Strong thighs, manly shoulders, huge chin, she's gotta be real mean with an Assblaster 2000!

I'm at a complete loss.

That's not a good picture of her, she's actually adorable. I've had a big crush on her for a long time. Not the hottest woman on the planet, but I'd walk to california to take her out. Plus she actually fucking DOES something. Granted, it's only snowboarding, but she's really good at it. She's probably fun as hell and I'll bet she'd fuck you stupid. Compared to the vapid movie industry girls the obviously gay Jake could be dating, she's pretty respectable.

Ugh Jake has sickening taste in girls.. if you can call them that. Why jakey? &How old is this lady?

She may not be conventionally beautiful, but her body is to die for.

I agree with 17. All these stupid other stupid cunts are on here are so due to vapid, meaningless shit. She's actually one of the best in the counry at what she does, yet there are tons of rich blondes with herpes out there. And I love how all the girls say how ugly she is. Damn your sex is vindictive and jealous. Lose some weight and maybe then a guy will like you!

On a side note, I am better than all of you.

Firstly... Jake is fucking hooooooot! only male celebrity that i would seriously want to fuck...
Secondly... are you people on fucking glue? He's dating a real person, who's a fucking world-class snowboarder! She's probably cooler than anyone you know, and sooooo much hotter then any useless fucking actress. This just increases my respect for, and desire to fuck, Jakey McHotterson... I'm a good snowboarder too Jake... Jake? I'll stretch out my boobies too if that's what it takes.... Jakey?

#18....yes, I agree. But who is Jake Gyllenhaal? And that woman looks like she has some years on her.

She's cute. Good for them.

she's 24 you half-wits

I'd put on a strap-on, dress up like a cowboy and plow Jake 'til next July....

I think I'd do that to BigJim, too.

Damn, if shes only 24, then 30 isnt going to look pretty.

There is nothing hotter than a chick that snowboards. I've been to the X-Games a couple of times, and I'm the dude watching the half pipe competition in the trenchcoat, only one hand visible. Tight ass, tight legs, who am I kidding, I never even make it to the face....must.cover.computer.in.plastic.
Oh, the idea of ol'fece peepee touching one of those girls makes me want to sit in a fucking belltower.

Ugh. Not impressed with the looks, but good on her for doing something that requires talent and athleticism. it still doesn't fix that horsey face, though. Just say NEIGH, Jake! Find yourself a hot chick, you deserve it. And "Gretchen" sounds like a noise you'd make while talking to Ralph on the white phone, or a sneeze filled with phlegm. Ugly name, ugly face. At least her parents got it right.

@20-

Yeah, we women are bitches. That's just how it is.

she sort of looks like Jennifer Anison... and Jake worked with her in The Good Girl

She made FHM's cover...

she's all the way on the right

http://img.timeinc.net/snow/content/images/fhmcovl.jpg

@20-

Oh, BTW, I am NOT jealous of that. I may not have such a hot body, but I have a WAAY better face. She looks like Helen Hunt with squintier eyes and a bigger, uglier nose. Nope, definitely not jealous of that.

Gretchen Bleiler is cute... for a pre-op tranny. Come on, people, for the last time Jake is gayer than gay. Brokeback Mtn aside, go to any site where homo gossip abounds and they are all over Jake. PerezHilton.com, Ted Casablancas, etc. It's like the worst kept secret in Hollywood and probably infers more about the women he dates than anything else. Maybe when Jake stars in the Tom Cruise story all doubters will be silenced. Tom Cruise loves the Cock, and so does Jake Gyllenhaal. JGLTC.

Damn! Wish I could see you guys when you're 30! My guess: half of you will be pasty and bloated from spending every hour surfing webporn and snorting french fries, and the other half will be shrivelled and devoid of hair and eyebrows from all the tanning, overprocessing and plucking. Both halves will be alone...so utterly fucking alone....

#34 HAHAHA Men COULD follow your prophecy (that won't be me) and STILL have the upperhand with women. You and your kind are so desperate for someone that you'll stay with someone like that. You work for US! Now get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwhich! Then go to the gym.

I would think he'd be more inclined to date the scarecrow - seeing as how he likes to smoke pole. It's got to be her broad, muscular shoulders or she has a micropenis, a penis is a penis is a penis.

On closer inspection, she looks like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Heh, one's wearing a beard, the other is a beard.

Gretchen isn't bad looking, but all the sun reflecting off the snow is hell on the skin. Enh, she's muscular enough he can probably close his eyes and think she's a man.

I have it on good authority that Tom Cruise has a high level of appreciation for the male genitalia.

Ew ew ew .... can someone say, "butterface"?

For anyone who didn't already know - E!'s Daily 10 said that Britney confirmed that she is really pregnant again. Poor, poor fatherless baby...

Don't get it. We make fun of people like Paris Hilton, Lohan, Ashley and Jessica because they talentless whores whose only activity is to try to look pretty and buy expensive bags. But, this girl actually does something: she's an athlete. So, she might not be stunningly beauty but surely it's a better person.

wow what a great theory, all us girls who see how clearly ugly this broad is must be fat and jealous. I admit when girls are pretty.. she is not.
She can be the most talented awesome person.. HER FACE IS UGLY

+ i love how we all assume shes an awesome person because she's not an actress..

Her face is the shape of a diamond. She looks like Jennifer Anistons kid sister

#44 is right. either way, this site is called the superficial, and we are allowed to make superficial commentary, so on that note: she's a dog.

http://www.ussamedia.com/headshots/2003_04/snowboard/bleiler_gretchen.jpg

Her teeth are just as bad as Kirsten's. And her nose is huge.

You might enjoy this pic of her, Hot!
http://expn.go.com/media/wxg/viii/030106_gretchen02_v.jpg

She looks like a poor man's young Phyllis Diller. Damn, Jake.

Guys, guys, guys.... let's all focus on the real picture here...

Tom loves male genitalia, ( I heard it from BigJim... he mumbles in his sleep alot)

And my pussy is a hot commodity...

'nuff said.

yeah.. nice bod. Her face is still vomit inducing.

#8 references Katie Holmes...another gullible Ohio girl dragged into the beard game....sad...it appears that the Ohio girls are easily star struck...being from Ohio, I can see that one does need to flee this hell hole but life will be good once again when Taft gets thrown out of office....

Yikes! Do you seriously mean to tell me that this face is only 25 years old?!:
http://expn.go.com/media/wxg/nine/bio/BLEILER_GRETCHEN.jpg

Well, at least she and Jake are both notably sweet on dogs:
http://www.skiracing.com/news_photos/PROFILES/bleiler_portrait_web_122702.jpg

Yikes! You mean to tell me that this face is only 25 years old?!:
http://expn.go.com/media/wxg/nine/bio/BLEILER_GRETCHEN.jpg

At least it's clear that both she and Jake are notably sweet on dogs:
http://www.skiracing.com/news_photos/PROFILES/bleiler_portrait_web_122702.jpg

51 You're so lucky. I just went in the basement and found that my pussy took a shit on the carpet - TWICE.

rode hard & put away wet!

holy shit! there goes ashlee simpson's face!

There's nothing wrong with the girl at all. She has a great talent, she needs a sponsor and she's a poor lesbo's Jewel replacement.

Jake can afford to hire and sponsor a snowboarding beard.
(It's like paying for a guaranteed penny stock re: McDonalds in its beginnings.)

This will guarantee him some earnings while women think he's cute and adorable.

Then they realize they are not into metrosexuals, but homosexuals. It's all downhill for all of them then.

@32- I'd say your body was ridiculously fine. Your face is so much better too.

Yep, you have every right to be jealous.

Nice forehead-to-chin ratio.

She's kind of weird looking... and he's really cute... and I mentally blocked out Brokeback when I said that.

it's way more fun to make fun of drunkst than any other person in the world...she is a pebble-toothed disillusioned hunch-backed saggy-titted trollface...oh & yeah Tom loves male genitalia ( it's true, BigJim does mumble alot in his sleep)

@58...and Jessica's tan!

or should i say "tan"

She looks real in a Jewel kinda way.

I'd hit it...twice - One for each hole !

Being a snow bunny she'd have great legs, firm ass and be fit enough to go hard all night.

Beside being dog lovers they probably do it doggy style and Jake never gets to see her face anyway

Psssst TCLTC

#45+ i love how we all assume shes an awesome person because she's not an actress..

I don't. I just say she's not a useless person as some other girls we often see in this site.

UNWASHEDMASSES--You seem to have the skinny on all of the gay gossip sights which leads me to believe that you yourself are in fact GAY!...or a woman, in which case visiting gay gossip sights would not necessarily imply gayness...Hmmmmmm.

Her skin looks to have the texture of an old catcher's mit. That having been said, I wouldn't kick her out of bed for shitting all over me during anal sex.

Regarding the FHM pic: Looks like someone gave Olympic Athlete #1 the "Angry Pirate."

I spank my pussy when she misbehaves..

FOOLS.

I would hit this until my ticker stopped and then Id ask God for a pacemaker and Buddha for a reincarnation so I could hit it N to the infinity times...

http://www.nbcolympics.com/2005/1208/5071497_135X180.jpg

If she's not the best looking he's ever had...then He's secretly fucked Nicole Kidman and Grace Kelly under the radar.

Oh yeah, call me a fool. I looked at your pic link and *vomit*, she still isn't giving me wood. The FHM cover, too bad she was posed next to two chicks who are hotter than she is. I think Jake is gay. I think this chick is ugly. All the ingredients for a successful Hollywood sham relationship.

Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned girl, in the "damn,-those sports-chicks-look-like-big-lesbos" kinda way.

Would you ever see Marilyn Monroe, Grace Kelly, Cherize Theron, or ANY great sexy female beauty wielding a board on the snow like the chick in "Monster" on a piece of plyboard? NOOOOO way.

It's like the "anti-feminine" ACK

I like that the sexes are different. I love it. I embrace it. I love wearing sexy shoes and clothes, smelling good, being soft. And I love that my husband is a real MAN.

WTF ever happened to sexual dimorphism??

That girl's face is quite odd.
Her mouth is way too far up on her face.
Look how close the mouth is to the nose and look how huge the chin seems.

For shame. She's pretty flat if you google some other pictures of her. I say downgrade from Dunst

so he's fucking his twin so what, it happens all the time in san mexico, lol

thats for you J

I thought he already banged his twin (Maggie).

you people are crazy! I think shes cute. she looks like a lot of fun to be with as a person and shes not bad looking. theres much worse about and you know it.

Regardless of how talented she is, this chick is as fugly as Dunst. Her redeeming quality is that her tits don't sag all the way to the floor.

Maybe Jake realised how much of a fruit he looked bicycle riding and wanted to learn snowboarding... he should try something manly like lumberjacking though... pussy

@60-

Aww. You are so sweet. As soon as my Myspace isn't so fucked up, I'll link it so we can compare who's hotter...oh hell, I'll just link it now.

Goddammit, what is up with this place, why aren't my posts showing up?

@60-

You're so sweet, here's my Myspace link, now we can see who's hottest, me or that Gretchen tranny.

tsarinaamanda: I just saw your picture and threw up a little bit in my mouth. How can you say you look better than her? In that picture you look more like 54 than 24; like Cruella DeVille on crack. But you're just the typical NOVA girl. I bet you're one of the idiots that couldn't point out Iraq on a map, yet probably knows the shoe sizes of all the Desperate Housewives. Have a nice life, you stupid little nothing!

ps. myspace is for 14 year old high school girls.

Now I see why your face is so hurting. You're on methadone. All those years of heroin and who knows what other drugs caught up to you, huh?

So is Jake gonna marry this dude or what?
Is same sex marriage even legal in California?

tsarinaamanda--you are quite fetching. I love your dark soulful eyes, but who's the ugly blonde chick with her hand around your face?

I agree with everyone who thinks she's a good person because she's an athlete and not an actress. Pro Athletes are such upstanding people. Yeah! she does something important, she rides a board across the snow and takes her clothes off for magazine covers. Not like those slutty actresses.

REBOUND!!!!!!!!!!!!! Next shot is gay town!

Yes, she needs to be more attentive of the sunblock in her line of work. However, I like the male actor with female athlete combination. There's something so unnatural about people who spend hours in the gym vs. people that have great bodies from their occupations.

Also, I LOVE when the whole dumpy guy/hot girl scenario is reversed!! Not that she's dumpy, but maybe a bit less "pretty" than Jake. Pretty refreshing.

People are so damn STUPID. Just cause a man makes a movie where he plays a gay dude, doesn't make him a real gay dude. He's an ACTOR. I can't believe it's 2006 and people are still so small-minded and homophobic. And you believe movies too, which is even worse. Morons.

I thought Kirsten Dunst turned him gay. Anyone whos seen Penis Party...erm, Brokeback mountain will know that Jake was sooo not acting ;).

It makes sense tho, think about it... hes sooo hot. The hot guys are always gay.

Except Michael Barrymore and Tom loves the cock Cruise. Oh yeh and in The Daily Mirror today it says that someone who was in Mission Impossible 3 has a secret bf and a gf to help cover the fact that hes gay. I thought it was Tom loves the cock Cruise but it says the actor is young... Now i dont know what to think :(.

#38 Fa Cube LOL!!!!!!! Excellent comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@82/83 - I already knew the link, that's why I was making the statements.

Whoah easy there La Quefaah, first I don't need to see Brokeback Gaycamp to know this guy's gay, I saw him with his little bike riding costume and that was enough. Second, I find nothing wrong with people being gay I just find it funny that they go to such lengths to hide the fact.

This comment is in regard to Edna...LOVE the handle petals! I do so enjoy your responses to the inane and grotesque peasants who spout trash from their empty little heads! My I feel better! Any who, kisses.
With utmost devotion,
~Fellian Fell~

Spindoc,, LOL at Tom is not gay, just loves cock..

bloodyvictim #21

I so agree, Jake is hot hot hot, and I would much rather see him with this lady, than the likes of Linsey Lohan, Paris, Jessica,, and the rest of those hollywood nit wits,,

Prettier than tsarinaamanda too

Pics to prove it? Didn't think so.

I still think I'm prettier. Thanks for all the kind comments. I still don't see some of you linking pics of yourselves, so until then, STFU. And I am aware Myspace is for 14-year olds, some of my best friends are in Iraq, it's a quick way to talk to them without having to pay long distance phone bills. And to you who made the heroin comment, until you know what it's like, how about you shut up, even though you're a piece of shit, I still wouldn't wish that misery on you, even though you probably deserve it. And my dog is adorable, isn't she?

@84-

I probably read more BOOKS than you ever have, or ever will.

At least she knows how to rip it up on the slopes. That's more than most of you can probably say about yourselves.

I have a friend in Iraq who was a roomate in college and I dont need myspace to talk to them. Maybe you've heard of this thing called email? And why the hell would you tell the world, via a flashy (i.e. tacky) pink and black myspace page, that you're a drug addict? What is with people disclosing everything about themselves on the internet? I don't have a myspace account so I couldn't see your other pics. But it has been my experience that everyone picks their best pic for their myspace/facebook profile so if that is yours, well I'm sorry. As for books, I'm sure you've read all the Devil Wears Prada series and Sex in the City commentary volumes I will never get a chance to. Bravo. Now if you will excuse me Grimace, and all you other internet shut-ins, I'm going out! In closing, I am better than all of you in every way.

I'm willing to bet that over half of you aren't even close to as cute as this girl.

What assholes!

People r trying to make this out to be an upgrade from Kirsten Dunst but I don't know. She doesn't look that great. I saw downgrade. She kinda looks like Jewel but after a long week of drug use.

Gretchen is a world-class athlete who happens to be a beautiful girl inside and out. The only time I've ever seen her with any make-up on at all was after a photo shoot at Buttermilk mtn. She is not overly muscular at all, in fact people who see her in shorts and top are usually surprised how petite she really is.

She is not a regular "drinker" and is not a drug user either. She was not a big partier in high school, prefering to get up early to do her sports and athletic training.

My 16yo daughter aspires to be a pro-snowboarder too, and Gretchen has been a terrific role-model who goes out of her way to encourage and compliment my child.

It's suprising to hear so many of you think she is a lesbian. It's a real small town here and things like that don't stay secret. (Like when Don Johnson cheated on Melanie Griffith with a girl who worked at the now defunct Planet Hollywood -- everyone knew it before the tabloids.) Now as to whether Jake is gay or not. Don't know.

Gretchen does not smoke cigs, eats well, and is a real all-around athlete who probably could have gone to the summer olympics as a diver if she hadn't gotten into snowboarding.
The real question is if Jake is able to "keep up" with Gretchen.

As far as looks go, among the non-celebrity set, they don't count all that much. We are more likely to measure a person by how well they ski or snowboard.

She looks like she got trapped in a Mystic Tan machine. You could probably bust stones with that chin.

hollyJ....you're a moron. she's not that great looking, i am with everyone on that, but she probably looks better in heels and a dress than your fat ass does. just because she snowboards doesnt mean shes not feminine. it means she has a talent beyond being a useless wench like yourself who has nothing better to do that put on makeup and try and look good for her husband who is mostly likely banging everyone BUT you. go back to whatever hole you crawled out of in the 1950's bc no one wants you here.

There is such a stereotype surrounding snowboarders that they're these really cool, chilled out people - and secretly deep down we all want one as our 'action' friends (ie someone we could do cool stuff with. Like snowboarding for instance).

Is it confirmed that this stereotype is justified? Are most snowboarders actually cool? I have a cool snowboarder friend who I went to school who spends all his time snowboarding in canada and nz. I haven't seen him in years but I'm sure he's very cool still. I like saying that I have a friend who snowboards. I guess I hope the 'coolness' factor rubs off a bit on me when I tell people this.

Anyway. I'm trying to make the point that just because she is a snowboarder (which, btw really does sound like a wicked career choice) doesn't mean that ALL snowboarders are cool or that she's any cooler, wittier, or smarter than the average bear.

Hmmm. But but on the other hand, perhaps those who SEEK such a cool sounding sport as a career... maybe its those who think 'what the fuck, who cares about a real job, I'm gonna snowboard' ACTUALLY are cool for defying the norm of a 9 to 5.

And maybe it's the shallow no-much-between-the-ears girls who aspire to be actresses/famous for nothing. God. Call me Einstein. How fucking original.

Ok. Forget it. I've realised I just don't care enough to summarise/realise what my point is/was going to be. Way to go apathy!

But I DO care enough to post this comment as, let's face it, I've spent enough time on it and it'd be a waste.

Sorry. 'Slagging off' is welcome.

Whether or not she is ugly is irrelevent. The ONLY issue here is this............. Is she a lesbian and is dating a gay celebrity for cover, or is she a straight girl that his PR people have gotten to date him because it will give her lot of Publicity, or is she being paid for it...(Katie Holmes)

I grew up with Gretchen and she is a truly beautiful, kind, generous, thoughtful, and a generally wonderful person. Also WAAAAYYY hotter in real life! Jake would be lucky to date a person like Gretchen, as would anyone. As far as her snowboarding goes she is the BEST in the world at half pipe competitions... She has set the bar for female riders and progressed the sport of snowboarding further than anyone thought possible. She is inteligent, dedicated, and interesting. Gretchen is a role model for girls everywhere, which i can't say for most of the women in the celebrety/fame spotlight.

And sorry to burst your bubble... but unless I am mistaken Gretchen is still dating her boyfriend of several years... so for all you haters out there Jake is still single so back off...

Oh yeah... just to add more... Gretchen Lives in Aspen not Ohio.... Duh, what olympic snowboarder lives in the flat state of Ohio? This rumour is just plain stupid.