May 24 2006Geri Halliwell and Penn Jillette are idiots

I guess naming your kid Bluebell is better than naming it Blueballs.
http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/

Someone revoke their right to be a mother.

I'm going to name my kid "Mystikor the Unreasonable" after a Dungeons and Dragons character I had in seventh grade. I just don't know how I'll raise Lawful Good kids in a Chaotic Evil society.

Gerri Halliwell looks like she caught whatever skin disease it is Robert Redford contracted twenty years ago.

Dracula had a dog? Who fucking knew.

Bluebell Madonna will be one of the best paid girls at the Bunny Ranch in 18 years.

Don't like Geri, you named her after the ice cream!!!!

like = lie, ha

Penn Jillette should of been sterilized after naming his daughter Moxie CrimeFighter. Now he's naming his son Zolten, what a complete douchebag! And Bluebell Madonna, someone punch this cunt in the face!

#5

There's a "Madonna" flavored ice cream? Sort of tart but ends up tasting like whatever's been selling best that week? Bwah, hah, hah...etc.

I had a basketball coach in HS named Zoltan Ford. His son, Zoltan was a helluva player. Cool name. He sold great weed too.

Ahahahaha... Isn't it fun to think of the worst names to name your children?
And thinking about how much they'll hate you when they're old enough to realized their lives are ruined because of their name?
And wondering if they'll kill you in the middle of the night, as revenge?
....Ahahahaha.... I love it.

Maybe celeb parents give their children retarded names as punishment for making them fat and giving them stretch marks. I really think that some parents must hate their kids...
calling someone Pilot Inspector is a cruel and unsual form of punishment.
http://celebreligion.com

If she REALLY loved Madonna, she would have crucified the baby. Her arms were wide out there.

#5 - They eat all they can and they sell the rest.

Someone I work with met someone named Richard Holder the other day. If my name was Dick Holder, mother's and father's day would be the biggest hate-mail days of the year.

8 and it leaves you with a fake British accent! Don't eat too much...

Maybe Dick Holder was Tom Cruise in disguise, cuz we all know....

Um, Hi Geri...FYI the mother of Christ was not named Madonna. Uh, what was her name again, hmmm, let me think a minute...Oh Ya MARY!!! You're a dumb-dumb.

#12 - nice.
And Geri Halliwell? Wasn't she a Spice Girl or something? Who really cares about her?
Oh yeah, and a retard as well. Madonna's mother had the same name.

She should have named it Baby Spice.

i love when famous people have kids they think they are the first people on the planet to give birth, like its some great mystical feat. "my baby was yelling when he was coming out of me!" really? i didnt think babies cried when they came out.

stupid.

And, 11. At least Jason Lee has some talent. Unlike these....people.

Who gives a shit?

umm 15 are you serious? wow. if you want to get technical her "real" name (her hebrew name) was Miryam, or Miriam. duh

I'm just waiting for some celebrity to name their spawn "Jesus Christ" or "Ruler of the Known Universe." Oh, it's coming. You know it is.

I'm Hungarian, and I can tell you for sure, it's Zoltán , not Zolten.Even the pronounciation is different.If the kid's ever coming to Hungary everybody will laugh at him at his parents for being idiots.Oh wait.

isn't Zoltan the name of the magic carnival machine thingy in "Big?"

#15, Mary the virgin mother is also referred to as "The Madonna".

Is it me or does she look like Tara Reid aged 20 years in that picture?

24 lol THATS why that name sounds so familiar. i think it was zoltar though. heh.

Bluebells aren't rare. They are as common as muck and i have hundreds of them in my garden! stupid woman! They may be rare in spain where her mother is from but they're like daffodils in the UK - bloody everywhere!

Stupid idiot and stupid name!

#21

ummm, ya I am serious. I think I made it quite clear that I meant she did have a NAME and her NAME wasn't Madonna. Relax.

Sometimes, I want to name my kid Assdouche just to see the teachers face when she calls role.

It so nice that they've put so much thought into naming their kids. Why don't they save them some trouble and have a foot permanently installed up their asses?

Good for Geri! I think it's AWESOME when senior citizens pervert science to have kids. Seeing what she claimed her age is in her last interview was the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

Wow! What an honor to be named after Dracula's dog!

Baby Spice gives her kid a fucked up name? Absolutely shocking. I'm just surprised it wasn't a boy and she still named it Bluebell, then people could holler "Your my boy Blue" whenever they saw him.
Would it be really bad to name my unborn chicl "Tom Cruise Loves the Cock Smith"? Lest people forget in the future that TCLTC.

Wow, can't type today:
Previous post was supposed to be "You're my boy Blue"
and
unborn child

Tom Cruise still loves the cock though, so the world hasn't ended.

Bluebells aren't rare in England, which makes it even worse.

I suppose they are pretty rare if you have to get your passport out to see one though.

I'm going to name my next kid, "Ice Cream Springsteen".

27: Wrong.

http://www.rhs.org.uk/Learning/publications/pubs/garden1003/newsgeneral.asp

And, to comply with mandatory minimum celebrity bashing content regulations:

Tom Cruise gives Tom of Finland cock loving lessons.

Man being a Spice Girls really does make you a fucking idiot, if you're not starving yourself to death, your naming your kids awful names so they'll be traumatized for the rest of their lives...or maybe until they get their name changed after they turn 18 or something...

I guess when your dad's show is named Bullshit, you're lucky to just end up with a name like Zolten.

#33 - Not that I want to admit that I know this, but Geri was Ginger Spice.

She's probably Googling her name to see if people still talk about her. I bet this makes her day.

My buddy loves that Showtime Penn & Teller show "Bullshit". I admit, it is often funny and sometimes they are right on the money with their comments, but any faith I had in the man's intellect went out the window with the name he bestows upon his kids. Moxie Crimefighter followed by Zolten? WTF? I realize that if you go down that odd-name path, you have to see it through. Can't call one kid Cocksucker Supreme and the other Tom. It's the Bruce Willis/Demi Moore paradigm - if you name one kid weird, you have to run the gamut with the others. Rumor, leads to Scout, Scout begets Tallulah Belle. The best way to deal with this is to not give your kid a fucked up name in the first place. No Pilot Inspektor, no Apple, no Suri, no Muumu-Googanga (Pitt-Jolie's kid). Sorry if I seem a tad righteous about this, but I experienced this firsthand recently as my sister gave birth to 7lb 4oz baby Ransom. The kid will be Randy to me. I only pray she does not have a second child and call it Rape, but following the universal maxim that is the Bruce Willis/Demi Moore paradigm, I have little faith. BTW - my employing Cocksucker Supreme and Tom as an example of an unusual name followed by a normal name was entirely unintentional. It was only after proofing this post that I realized how ingrained TCLTC has become to me.

ive heard of much worse names but who cares,i know a guy who just names his kid rupert..

in about 15 years blueballs will date one of victoria beckham's spawns, brooklyn, and it will be brooklyn blueballs forever. *sigh* romance.

42 hell yeah. Blueballs Beckham has a nice ring to it.

The name "Geri" isn't that great itself, you know. It smacks of "geriatric." You should be hunched over in a three piece suit, clutching a cane and spewing gibberish if you are named "Geri." And be sitting in McDonald's at 6 a.m.

#44
That's Sherry-co you're describing.

Except you missed the colostomy bag and oxygen mask.

I think it sucks that people with normal names like Gerri and Bob and Gwyneth and Tom and Bruce name their kids these pretentious, show-offy names that will make them the butt of schoolyard jokes for the next fifteen years and beyond, like at their 10th high school reunion by drunken former classmates who still remember how funny it was to tease Blueballs about her name.

I was really surprised that Madonna came up with some nice Catholic names for her kids. Bizarre, that was. I was expecting something stupid like "Milkmaid Buttercheese" and she gave us a nice, respectable "Lourdes."

"Rocco" isn't as well known, but there is a St. Roc Parish in my town, so I'll give her a pass on that one.

"Bluebell," though, will be that annoying hippie-guy who always has good weed but uses words like "stony" and "rad," so everybody hates him.

And to think, my daughter bitches that I named her Cassandra. *sigh*

I think Bluebell is a good name, but then I am pregnant and all names sound good.

there was a time when famous people gave their kids normal names. all of tom hanks kids have normal names as does jon voights kid and most of the kids of older school celebs. new celebs are stupid. stupid i tell you. and its all our fault for being so obsessed with their shit.

#50 -- how 'bout the name Peyote? Or Vas Deferens? Or Dyer Rhea? I should write a celebrity baby-name book and market it to celebrities no one gives a fuck about.

P.S. Also Skroat Emzach, Ain Ulwortz, and Harry Paratesteys.

My dad wanted to name me Clem or Zeke...mom started getting stray dogs from the pound, and naming them all those stupid names dad wanted to name me, can't confuse the dogs by naming the baby Clem.
I just thank god everyday she had her way, and I'm a 6'2", 180 lb man named Butterfly Bobby-Sox McGee.

geri should name her baby spicy balls

#51 I think that was all prior to the internet, and now celebrities choose appealing names from reading people's handles.
Pretty soon you'll see names like:

wakeandbake420, Captain_Special, dickluverz, prettyjenny345, Friendlymonkey, blondetrollop, uberbiotch, and bjsforfree.

Which are all good Christian names if you ask me.

Somewhere out there on the internet there must be a Celebrity Baby Name generator that celebs use. If not, there should be.

I know it seems bad, but technically Bluebell shouldn't be worse than any other flower/plant name... Rose, Ivy, Lily, Dahlia, Daisy... I, myself, am thinking of calling my daughter Daffodil...

not for nothing but 55 had me laughing out loud. all these people i work with must think i'm looking some choice internet porn or something. yes i laugh when i look at porn.

I guess if I ever had a son I would name him "Tonka", not really sure why though, I guess because those trucks were the shit back in the day, and tough too..........

spatz

Dude, you wanna see some funny porn? Type "hot-lunch" into a search engine....

Hey, don't make fun, my grandpa was named Zoltan :-(

OK, so he went as "George" when he came to America...but we all knew his real name :-P

#39, Jacq - thanks for the correction, but I don't think I would have admitted that if I did know it. Let's see if I can name them all:
1. Ginger Spice
2. Baby Spice
3. Whorey Spice
4. Slutty Spice
5. Skanky Spice
6. Gonorrhea Spice (otherwise known as Paris)
7. Damn, always forget this one.. oh yeah Dopey Spice!

8. Trashy Spice, subsequently known as Britney

I think I'm going to name my kid after Ms. Halliwell. "Dipshit Itches" has a nice ring to it.

#47
she's probably regretting her kids' names so much lately. if she has another one, it will probably be "shlomo moses israel i-make-fun-of-my-old-religion-by-dressing-up-as-a-nun-on-purim". or similiar.

Scary Spice...
Hermaphro Spice
Land-Spice
BigSpice
Tranny Spice
Spice_nip
Cruisin' for Spice
Italian Spice
I Fucking Spice You
Papa Spice Nuts
Feed_me_spice

You all know you were there...

The wannabes:
spicebananas
spice-co
Herbie Spice
Edna Spice-brick
Megan Hair-spice

If you stare at the word "spice" long enough, does it start to look fucked-up to anyone else? Just checking...

#29 -- HA HA!!!! SOO FUNNY!

I resent that. Robert Redford is a beautiful man. A Beautiful Man.

Well, as we run out of cultures to represent our children in their names, we turn to our second best resource- stringing sounds together to create a pleasing sound. I think I'll name my first born *steel grinding*

If i was "Moxie CrimeFighter", I would have removed my father's balls with pliers to ensure that he couldn't spawn any more children to punish.

Oh - and Bluebell is what one names a cow, not a person. Which, considering Geri's appearance, may actually be fitting.

Atleast these children haven't been named after Religous figures or fruit.

P.S. I don't count middle names.

Ya'll have me laughing all day. Keep up the good work. TCLTC

The thousands of people named Violet are going to haunt the Superficial guy for the rest of the eternity for that comment.

Jacq, thanks for not lumping me in with Spicebannanas, Edna Spice & the other freaks.
I think I'll name my next kid Lloyd Dobler, see if anybody recognizes the name 10 or 20 years from now.

Stories like this always remind me of that classic joke:
Young Indian boy asks his dad why their names are so strange.
Dad replies: it is Indina custom that the moment the baby is born to lift the flap of the teepee and name the baby after the first act of nature they see. That is why your brother is named Two Deers Running and your sister is named Flying Eagle.
Why you ask such stupid questions Two Dogs Fucking?

I kind of like Bluebell, actually. But Madonna? In ten years time when Madonna is pushing sixty and still goes around parading in leotards, the kid is going to be so mad to find out she was named after her.

75 you invade my soul.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Methinks Geri's metallic eye shadow has melted into her brain and made her even more stupid, as all celebrities seem to be when baby-naming. One day you're minding your own business, going about life like a normal human being, and the next thing you have $50 bazillion dollars and naming your kid "AssMunchFuckTard" seems like a good idea.

I cannot wait for Jason Lee to name another baby. Pilot Inspektor is going to be hard to beat. "Kwagmire Attendant," anyone? How about Penn Jillette just names his next kid "Kick My Nutsack Hard" and call it a day?

"Hi, I'm Penn and this is my partner, Teller. We aren't exactly opposed to publicity. I've got a wierd name and Teller only uses half of his. I've got a loud, obnoxious personality that's made me richer than Yoko Ono so my kids' names are obnoxious too. Goes back to that publicity thing, y'know? This is a free country so if they don't like them, they can change them, and go by nicknames till they do. To sum it all up, we think names are BULLSHIT!" (cue theme music).

Get it?

Penn Jillette is way fucking smarter than a gossip blogger.

I went to school with a guy named King Luke. I never knew his middle name.

I used to buy my pot from a guy named Herb.

I worked with a woman who's nicknames were "bitch", "fucking bitch" or "cunt", but only after she left the room.

#68

Pretty much any word, if you look at it long enough, starts to look strange.

Cunt is a funny word, huh?

Maybe the middle name is Madonna because the baby was born with a pretentious, fake English oxent (typing with an accent).

C'mon, Zolten (Zoltan?) is a really cool name. It shows some ethnic pride, and it truly is not uncommon in Eastern Europe.

I like it. (But Bluebell? OOOOh NOOOOO)

Bluebell is ice cream...

Just be glad she didn't name it Baby Sporty Posh

Or Happy Go Fucky.

If only there was only them which are idiots...

Pilot Inspektor is pronounced differently than it is spelled. It is pronounced "please beat the shit out of me"

The worst thing about Geri Halliwell naming her kid Bluebell is that it fucking rhymes with her last name. Bluebell Halliwell. ARGH. That should be illegal.

Dracula had a dog?

81 - Sure he is. He's a fucking genius, right up there with Doug Henning, Blackwell, David Copperfield and wunderkind David Blaine. I'm sure he in fact is not more intelligent than many of my fellow posters. The reason why he's so good with his hands is because he'd rather not think. I would prefer to judge a person's intellect by what they say, how they carry themselves, what they do and - in this particular corner of the Superficial - what moniker they give their kids for the rest of their sorry lives. If you choose to rate a person's brains by how many handkerchiefs they pluck out of their mute sidekick's asshole, then Tom Cruise is heir to Einstein. He can make a 10 inch cock disappear into his mouth.

Isn't Bluebell the big fat blue ox in that "tall tale" of Paul Bunyan?...Or did I just make that up?

Ginger Spice looks sooo Scary in that picture...
(And yes, I used to like them)

I'd have to go with, "Punching Bag Rehab", but that's just me, i'm a traditionalist. The classics just never go out of style.

They don't take kids away for being abused by their parents... look at Angelina and Brad.

They dont take kids away for being abused by their parents... look at Britney and K-fed.

Apparently the don't take keyboards away from morons either. Isn't that correct Banana Hammock?

#94, I'm almost positive Paul Bunyan's ox was called Babe.

Yes, Babe the blue ox.

He was seven ax handles wide, the same width as Britney's ass.

Kinda expected the Canadians to chime in about any blue ox corrections

Jacq; Thanks, but have you actually said Tranny Spice out loud? Ask for it, at the supermarket.

"Mom can I tell you what I want, what I really really want?"

"Yes, darling, what is it?

*kicks in cunt* "thanks for the name, bitch"

Why would Canadians know anything about Babe the Blue Ox? It's in Bemidji, Minnesota.

"A lumberjack of huge size and strength, Paul Bunyan has become a folkloric character in the American psyche. It is said that he and his blue ox, Babe, were so large their footsteps created Minnesota's ten thousand lakes. Babe measured 42 axe handles and a plug of chewing tobacco between his horns. He was found during the winter of the blue snow; his mate was Bessie, the Yaller Cow."

Bessie sounds like a distant relative of Britney's.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babe_the_Blue_Ox

Didn't the Beatles record a song called "Bluebell Madonna"? Also sounds like the kind of vision a cow named Bluebell would have while contentedly chewing her cud and ruminating on the heavenly visitation from the Glorious Virgin Mary in her muddy-ass field. It sounds nothing like anything to do with that skank-ho Geri Halliwell. Did the father have any say in this naming shit? On second thought, wouldn't most guys like to name their daughters "Damnitsnotaboy"?

Star maker;

It was a lame crack towards Canada's proud lumberjacking heritage. I'll try harder *hangs head in shame*

I pity Penn's kid and I pity Penn as well. I fi nd his stuff kinda of funny. I really couldn't really crae less about the spice girl worthless the whole lotta them.
She named her kid after a common stinking weed and an ugly, has-been fag hag.

These people should all be rounded up, put up against a wall and shot, their bodies left to drain all their excrement into the sewers and be fed on by a pack of chihuahuas.

Cut to: 18 yrs from now. Madonna Bluebell afixes a sight on her high-powered rifle atop the town square's water tower. She takes a drag off her methol Kools and exhales. She rubs on the self-inflicted scar on her wrist as echoes of the teasing she received as a school-girl bounce in her head. Resolute, she slides the bolt back on the fire-arm and...

110 Script

...shoots herself in the vagina, so she will never be tempted to unleash cruel, social hell upon her offspring.

A homeless man down the street from the incident is praying to God for a sign that God will be there to help said homeless man. Crying to the sky, looking up, mouth open, crying, begging, pleading with God for an answer to his problems, a bloody bloody vulva lands in his mouth.

He later becomes President, and a renouned cannibal.

granted, as another poster mentioned, the name is spelled 'zoltán,' but it's a nice name nonetheless. 'bluebell,' however, is tacky.

111 post-script

Having controlled his desire for flesh for years after having devoured the Olsen twins that ill fated night down in Florida. It was easy enough, convincing the press it had been alligators, but he knew better. Now, after all have left, it's amazing how quiet the White House can be on a Saturday night as the drunken Hilton girl lies in the secret hallway. But, what to do about the relentless oozing from her crotch? He hasn't cut into her yet, what to do? Oh, yes yes the antiseptic powder for dogs....

Not Canadian, and trying really hard now to get the Monty Python "I'm a Lumberjack" song out of my head...

Too tired to comment about the stupid baby name...who is the father anyway? Is it Penn Jillette?
I can't believe she is 30 or around that age. There's no way she's younger than me with that face skin that looks way older than me. Who needs money when you still end up looking like the leather on an old cowboy's saddle?

Actually, I met someone once named Madonna. She was born before Madonna (the singer, not the Mother of God) got famous.

Just saying.

And I thought there was something wrong with my parents when they called a chick Louie.....

15, 21
yes madonna was the companion
not the mother
dont believe everything
that
the
ch
makes you read

#37 thanks for pointing thath out
even we dont always
know
the
causes
we are championing :)

our bluebells are beautiful
and survive
despite
anything
the world
throws at them

49 hello you monkey you :)

57, i think that is a
lovely name :)

yo emmmmma
what did you do last night?
i get the message
but dont f*** with me without asking
kay?
#
ever

60 and friends :)

its a switch
you just have to get thru it
to get to the other side
lol guys

39 not to burst you bubble
but geri and i talked earlier
and i love her new baby :)

67 your bad
back you go
down bitch

104 very loud lols :)

suck it up bitches

117 ooh thats... [hang on]

louie louie ?

reminds me of a song :))

I think the proper spelling of that name is Zoltan. Check out Mariska Hargitay on imdb. Her bros name is Zoltan. Bitchin.

I'm Hungarian and it is spelled Zoltan and not Zolten. I'm not sure why that name is sooo bad. Just because it isn't English?

37. Wrong

From your own link

"The UK has about 30 percent of the world’s population of bluebells,"

And it's still a stupid name.

hey sbj16 like you could do any better bet you named your kid something like machavelli or something, weirdo.

Apparently she lives in a bubble and does not realize that the spanish speaking catholic cultures often use the name Madonna?

"Zolten is a common Hungarian name, it's my wife's maiden name and most importantly, it's the name of Dracula's dog."

Wrong. Zolten is not a hungarian name. However "Zoltán" is a common name in Hungary, but it couldn't be anyone's maiden name, since it's a name only for men.

Hey Jacq, you forgot me, SpiceSpice!

I just developed a theory about these bizarre celebrity names. I think they totally make up the most bizarre names they can think of to tell the press, but the birth certificate has the real name which is something common like "Jane" or "Joe." Surely that must be the explanation. Nobody would really name their kid after ice cream, would they? If so, my next kid will be Cherry Garcia.

@ 131 Mouth

Mouth, I would never name my kid something as stupid as Makaveli. I'd pay homage to my father if my baby was a boy and name him Nevin. I bet you don't know anybody named Nevin, do you you freak? If it was a girl I would name her something normal like Alexis. You probably like these weird names like Apple and Pilot Inspektor you loser!

135
no you are not a number, you are a free man
[switch]
women are now in charge]
[switch]
[yes that is correct]
[[you are correct]]
[[[who is correct?
me or him?
oooh b*gger
were
d
o
w
n
here again
actually perfectly natual functions
and we added some pleasure to each

but its still not the sort of pleasure
you could get

didnt you feel it once

or is it all just an illusion

dirrrrty

[switch]

...and i thin that does it for tonight

it

it

it

:)

"With a Bluebell Halliwell, give a dog a bone..." Hah! How appropriate in so many ways....

It's really none of our business what other people name their kids. As far as I can tell, from his writing, and from seeing him in Las Vegas, he must be a very loving father. The most beautiful thing is he's probably going to teach his kids to be skeptical. We need more skepticism in this world. Not cynicism. Skepticism. As a whole, we don't question things enough. It's why belief in a God is still so widespread. I choose not to believe in A God; I choose to believe in all of the gods. I believe that Zeus created Mohamed and that Mohamed went to grade school with Jesus and Zulu. Then Thor said unto them, "Be godly," and then they were gods. I also believe in Joe Pesci as a god. On Friday nights I pray to George Carlin.

You guys need to learn to get the correct information before you talk about something you know nothing of. "CrimeFighter" is Moxie's middle name, and it was Penn's wife's, Emily's, idea. She figured, "Nobody knows anyone's middle name anyway, so we might as well have fun with it." Seems perfectly reasonable to me. Penn is a very funny guy, but he most certainly is not an idiot. As for Zoltan, he was named after Emily's maiden name. It's Hungarian. I guess you guys would be the kind of people to say "Wan-Hu" is a stupid name for an Asian-American, simply because it doesn't follow American pattern. This is the kind of thing Penn hates: when people talk about shit they don't even know about. Do your fucking homework, then make an argument.