May 19 2006Britney Spears almost drops Sean Preston

lol...good point. I also wondered how having a gun would help. I guess you had to be there...

I know that there's no way I could possibly be first...right?
looks like someone's gin and tonic was more important to keep a grip on than her baby.

dude, there's that goldberg guy again! is he britney's new lova?

Sweetie, it's called a "hem." Surely, you can afford it.

Is that a hardhat the kid was wearing?

Lucky that Moustache Guy was on hand.

What with the hillbilly genes, blows to the head, and now apparently shaken baby syndrome, the poor kid doesn't stand a chance. On the other hand, if he can survive this childhood, he must be some kind of mutant who will threaten us all in 18 years.

That poor kid would probably stand a better chance of living to finish grade school if he was born in a hobo camp.

"Hyuk, hyuk, lookit me, ah'm livin' thuh guhd lahf, hyar, ooops..."

Whew! At least she didn't drop her slurpee. That would have been tragic! Gotta hold on tight to that slurpee.

That poor kid, he would have been much better off if she had dropped him, then sat on him. Death has to be better than the life in front of him. Imagin if you will, being a teenage boy and coming home from school to see your mom sitting on the couch in crotchless panties & a too-small teddy with Cheeto dust all over her fingers and 6 chins, watching old videos of herself - This is what awaits poor little Sean Preston.
TCLTC

I'm sure she's blaming it on the throng of media who still clamour for her photo (albiet now with wide-angle lenses) It doesn't look to me like there was pavarotti interference here though - just a need to hold that drink more carefully than her spawn.

I'm sure she's blaming it on the throng of media who still clamour for her photo (albiet now with wide-angle lenses) It doesn't look to me like there was pavarotti interference here though - just a need to hold that drink more carefully than her spawn.

Shout-out to Pork Chop, my prom-dress twin: Guess who?

TCLTC.

Thomas Magnum saves the day.

haha, poor kid will be just as dumb as britney if it survives motherhood by britney

Okay, that's it. I know this stuff "happens," but it happens to her way too much. Please, CPS, take the child away and give him to a proper family.

I remember when she said she wanted to be a "young mom." But it would be nice if she could be a PROPER mother (running around in a bra and tank top is not proper, you skank). Maybe a little maturity would have helped her there, huh?

This story is completely missing the point. In the second picture, it looks like her right boob almost popped out of her shirt. That's the real story here, not Sean Preston's latest brush with brain damage.

Oh, and she looks like she's fucking wasted. Maybe that pan of brownies she ate were the "funny" ones.

i heart mr superficial.... hope ya get better. i have a really cute nurse's outfit i can put on and come bring ya some soup ;)

Dear Britney Spears,

Buy a stroller. Get one of those fancy expensive Bugaboos that the rest of those rich Hollywood moms have. They've got tires like an SUV. They can probably make one out of steel if you want. Strap that baby in, and feel free to trip all over the place. Just don't let it go rolling down a hill.

Thanks,
A Concerned Citizen

What is up with her hair? Does she EVER brush it?? And since when is it okay to wear a black bra with a white shirt?

What is up with her hair? Does she EVER brush it?? And since when is it okay to wear a black bra with a white shirt?

I think he may be a white trash fairy godmother sent to save that poor baby! Not from whiplash though.

I dunno much about parenting but I'm just gonna go ahead and say that if you're in a crowd of people carrying our child, maybe you should put down the drink. I know she's prego but that looks like a gin n' tonic to me.

I don't know if anyone has said this yet, but methinks the 'stached bodyguard dude is there to protect Sean P. from Brit-Brit.

Thank God they posted this story. It's so brand new.

Some paparazzi fuck probably tripped her. They do that kind of shit you know.

Hey trophywife,

Cough, cough, achoo! :D

Where's Duckboy? I'm dying to hear the defense on this one.

Cough, cough.

Britney really needs to get her shit together. If she keeps pulling this crap, headline editors everywhere are going to have to get more creative instead of just using "Ooops, I Did It Again" over and over and fucking over again.

Get a stroller, skank. And get dressed while you're at it.

Britney with a gun?

I could be down with that . . .it would only be a matter of time before she'd wind up accidentally shooting herself of K-Fag.

"Hey, y'all, do y'all think thang is load-"
POW!

OR. I meant OR, not of. Bah.

#12 that was fucking hilarious

hey DonLes, bend over so I can take your temperature ;)

Here she is crying..just not sure whether she's crying cuz she almost dropped SP or cuz she just paid 12.00 for that glass of water and she didn't want to spill a drop.

http://www.derekhail.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/05/5-19-2006-%20Britney%

Britney's got a gun
Britney's got a gun
Her bra strap's come undone
Everybody is on the run

What did that K-Fag do?
He looks rank and spells like pooo-ooo

When Britney got arrested
The Superficial posters laughed with glee
But man he had it comin'
That K-Fag has been slummin'
It's his own fault he's so damn scummy

Run away
Run away from the pain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah

Run away
Run away
Run, run awayayayayayay...

She needs a few extra bodyguards so the press doesn't mangle her to death when she's just out on the town. I think that's what she really means - she needs protection against people that bombard her and cause to her to trip and run from the press before she even has time to buckle her baby in the car seat. Geeze.

Yeah i think she's referring to the paparazzi when she's talking about the gun.

Um, that should be *smells* like poo. I can't attest to his spelling skills.

And the award for the WORST parent of the year goes to...
God I blame K-Fed, but damn,isn't this like the 100th time this month she has droppen her kid! WTF

Does anyone notice the huge bags under Britney eye's. She looks totally wasted

Give me a fucking break. I don't particularly like the girl, but ENOUGH with the scrutinizing of EVERY paparazzi photo of her with her baby!
When she had the kid in her lap while driving, I was pissed.
But the fact that she tripped with baby in one arm, and a drink in another is nothing to freak out about.
She didn't drop him, and I doubt very much that she cared more about her beverage than she does about her kid. To imply that is ridiculous.

LOL! Ahem.

Is it me, or is the superficial guy even funnier when ill?

Sometimes I feel sorry for Brit. It must be hard having the world following her around, capturing on film, the numerous mistakes she makes on a daily basis. And yet... if she just took off her stripper shoes she may be able to walk, carry her drink and the kid. Then again... without those shoes, the rest of the outfit would just be trashy.

Am I the only one who wishes that she would have dropped him?

Thin out the herd, people! Especially with genes like hers!

*sorry* that link didn't work..here is the right link, which shows Britany crying.

http://www.derekhail.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/05/5-19-2006-%20Britney%20Spears%20-%20header.jpg

Oh God, why is this bitch still allowed custody of her son? I never thought she was attractive, since she doesn't have a septum. Her eyes are too far apart and that accent is friggin annoying. I wonder when her sister is going to make an appearance on this site. I fear we're never going to be free from the Spears/Federline family.

I have a kid and somehow, I manage to hold him along many other stuff you carry when you have a baby. Holding a baby AND a drink is not that hard.
Why she needs a gun? To shoot herself so the babyt would be sent to someone with more brains than she has and where would be more protected, meaning: wolves..

I used to think Britney's incompetence as a mother was funny, but THIS is too much! She holds him like he's a stuffed animal, not a baby.

in the last photo, I had my doubts about the 'My Name is Earl Nanny Service, but it looks like he is on top of his game.
as for Britney...magic eight ball says a 'meltdown' highly likely.

If she can't even hold a drink and SPF, how could she possibly hold onto a gun as well?

I've seen other pics from this incident- black bra, white halter top, what appears to be a pink thong peeking out of the back of her jeans, and hair pulled up to see a bad set of roots and what looks like some nasty extensions.

I read on the Yahoo News article, that her long pants got tangled in her open-toed shoes. Which only means the dumb bitch had on high-heels.

ohmigawd y'all, did y'all see that? I done almost spilt mah drink!

@ 19 I'm about get in trouble at work, I just laughed out ... Classic

Wow she couldn't have tripped because she is in platform sandals and pants that drag on the ground or that she is a pregnant woman with a very normal case of a jacked up sense of gravity ?? Oh wait that would imply she actually read at the OBGY office... I am sure it was the crazy photographers.

To the posters who recommended a stroller, thank you! I can't believe this stupid bitch doesn't have one of those, or chooses not to use it. Or even a Baby Bjorn carrier. Jesus, I'm nobody and I have 3 strollers, and two carriers. (I have no idea why.)

Maybe if she noticed that most strollers had cup holders for her precious slurpee, she'd use it?

Where can you get one of these Mustache Guy's? How much do they cost? I could get one and make him do yardwork. These Mexicans are getting smarter, and they demand more money. Plus my Patron keeps disappearing, and the dog's been walking funny. Stallion wants a Mustache Guy to do his hard work so he can sit back and talk to the Tobacco Master minus the Tobacco. And we can play Fear Factor at home. For the second stunt I would make him eat the peanuts out of my crap.............

@40, right, she doesn't seem to realize that some simple fashion sacrifices (which she makes all the time, but not in the right direction) could save that kid.
Goddammit, woman, put on some proper fitting Levi's and sneakers and save yourself some trouble!
She had the sense to have mustache guy carry SP when she was wearing that horrendous orange thing with the heels, why'd she stop now?
And I have to say that it's annoying the fuck out of me that I'm thinking that SP is cuter every time I see him, because I really want to hate the whole damn family.

The guy has a bit of a young Dan Ackroyd (Blues Bros era) in him.

She's so lame - she never even looks at her child during this whole fiasco. She looks more concerned over her boobs threatening to fly out...
Mr. Moustache deserves a raise!

Part of me feels a tremendous amount of compassion--this poor Bim will never see a moment's peace; on the other hand, she has demonstrated irresponsible parenting so sconspicuous that maybe she deserves the scrutiny, and maybe, just maybe, she might learn from it.

Someone's probably already noticed this, but the moustache guy looks like a young Dan Akroyd in these pictures. If this is the case, I hope he returns to the past so we can still enjoy that movie he did with that fat guy. Oh, crap!

See what happens when you fuck with the timeline, Britney?! You bitch!

She did not trip. God reached down and smacked her for putting a fucking sideways ball cap on a baby.

I really wish people would just leave her alone.

Whoopsy-daisy. Baby almost fall down go boom... again.
Bitch, I told you to lay off the nitrous oxide.

"Heineken?!?
Fuck that shit!
PABST! BLUE RIBBON!!!"

Methinks they misquoted her. She actually said: "This is why I need a corndog."

Good afternoon, I am the mustached man in the photograph. Just wanted say I am really embarrassed... I was trying to catch the hat

Check out the back of her outfit here:
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3494/635/1600/britney8.jpg
Note the backless tank top and low-riders with the pink thong sticking out. It's no wonder little stumpy legs tripped. Britney's still going for "hot mom", but looking more like "mentally challenged every day". When are we going to have to be subjected to little Sean Preston in cornrows?

You know those Nextel phones the contractors use, the yellow and black ones? They're covered in polyurethane or something, so that if they're dropped, they won't get messed up.

Sean Preston need a little jumper made of that stuff, with a matching helmet, then Brit could drop him all she wants.

a gun? what?

Mr. Moustache looks like super Mario. If he was my moustache man, I would make him wear the little red and white overalls outfit with the hat, and throw fireballs at everyone. The SMB theme is running through my head as I type this.

Britney, Paris. Paris, Britney...

Can we just organize a Mongol Death Match and be done with it already?

@51
Looks more like Luigi to me.

Picture this: it's 1 a.m. 'Stached bodyguard dude is looking at the centerfold of the current issue of "Soldier of Fortune" magazine. His pager goes off. It's K-Fed.

K-Fed: Yo, homes. Check it. Run down to the 7-11 and pick me and the ball 'n' chain some Camels, a couple of 40s for my boyz, 'n' some... hold up... (shouts offscreen, muffled) Yo, Brit! Want anything from the 7-11? (answer muffled)... 'n' some Tampax. Put it on yo' Amex or some shit. We'll getcha back. Chop-chop.

Then 'stached bodyguard dude picks up his machete and heads out. Fade out.

I leave the rest to your imagination.

Look at the bodyguard's hand...I enjoy Mr. Stache's "open-palm" stance when saving Sean Preston's life. He has vowed NOT to fall victim to any type of "inappropriate touching".

#53
Awesome.
I have that ringtone on my phone. It pretty much rocks.

OMG! That pic of her crying just made me feel like a really bad person.

@49-

Why in the HELL would that trailer trash (or anyone) wear a shirt like that with a fucking bra? A halter top/backless type shirt is NOT meant to be worn with a bra! As rich as she is, you'd think she could buy some of those boob-cup thingies that just stick to your tits and hold them up. I ordered 2 pairs out of a catalog a couple years ago, they were only about $40 with S/H. I guess she's too busy spending all her money on Cheetos, Newports, Schlitz malt liquor, and Taco Smell. And ugly orange hard hats for her retarded child. Mmmm....malt liquor.

The moustache man also reminds me of a shirt I saw that had Mario's face on it, and it said, "Moustache rides, 5 coins" Damn, these keyboards don't have that little cent thingy. What's up with that? Damn, I'm stoned. Sorry for the rambling, disjointed post. I love you guys!

Oh and then the backless halter justifies it all. ewe. like a female sheep.

I never defend celebrities but I think the press is being brutal to her. She loves her kid. I'm sure that trip scared the shit out of her and she knew everyone was there to see it. We should all feel lucky that the press isn't there to capture every second we spend with our kids because no one is perfect. I mean, they were following her around in a HELICOPTER! She hasn't put out an album in years and people still won't leave her alone. She should really consider leaving LA.

Look at her top, was she just leaving the strip club or something?

@57
Well she is perfectly free to move wherever she wants. She could go buy a big house in the middle of nowhere (with a helicopter to fly her to the store) and spend all her time being a mother to her baby. After all, he IS her new religion. But she chooses to remain in the city, go out looking like an idiot, endangering her child, and drawing all sorts of attention to herself--why? because she likes it. She'd rather get bad publicity than none at all. So I have MINIMAL pity for her, since she chooses to live her life in this manner.

#57 I think she should go back to Louisianna until she gets some peace becasue no one could live a decent life like that. Angie had to go to Africa. I really think we have a problem here.

You know, I was going to say something the first time 'stash boy showed up, but, you know...I drink a lot.
Really, doesn't he look like somebody did some kind of stem-cell research on the placenta of Christina Aguilera's husband?
Like, Zach Braff maybe?
Like, maybe he jerked off onto that guy's placenta when he was born and a saltwater and electrode-filled tank gestated it until the time was right and now he's watching out for little Sean Preston?
Soon there will be an army of these guys running around with guns hunting the papparazzi.
That's gonna make for AWESOME headlines.
(And Fez is totally gonna get it, you just know that...)

Either she's inept, incredibly stupid, or has lost touch with reality. In any case, someone's gotta save her from herself and fast!!!!!

Little SP's Guardian Angel is working overtime. Britney is doing everything in her power to kill him.

Is it me, or has her forehead grown?

Why wasn't she supporting the baby's head?! It must be terrifying to fall with a child in your arms, but why wasn't she holding him with both hands?! If you're going to be carrying other things around, get a freakin' stroller, because babies are not as easily begotten as Slurpees.

Then again, Britney's greasy, unwashed crotch probably sees the same kind of customers and midnight visits as any Slurpee machine, so I guess I can see how she got confused. "Kev, honey? Are you comin' for a refill?"

#57
If Britany knew she would be hounded by the paparazzi then why on gods green earth did she dress like a stripper taking a break. That alone says she doesn't give a dam about the paparazzi.

I wonder.. will this comment post when I click "post" or will it say "comment waiting approval" and leave me dangling like Teri Hatcher's forehead artery? *nervous anticipation*

I almost feel sorry for Brit. First time moms do stupid things without thinking, and she's under a microscope so that every little blunder is broadcast to the universe. She's an ignorant redneck, too, so it's hard for her to do the simplest things properly. Poor moron. =(

On a lighter note...
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=9522171117&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMESE%3AIT&rd=1

Britney's human, she makes mistakes just like everybody else. And I'm pretty sure she said she needs a gun to "get rid of" the paparazzi. Looks like she is losing her weight though. Britney is awesome!

SUCCESS! No dangling! YAY! Thank ya Super Man (and get better soon!)

Well since Charlie Sheen is finding dates on millionairematch.com, I guess it's not so crazy to find out Britney Spears found her nanny on PornStarNannies.com

#64
Everything else has, so why not.

Price of a 40 oz jug of King Kobra Malt Liquor $3.00
Price of a Heckler&Koch P7M13 9mm ...$889.00

Price of hilarity to ensue once this dumb cunt from Louisiana get her hand on both while caring for hr child.....PRICELESS!!!

Master Card.... master the moments.

Aw,poor Mr. Superfish guy,I'm telling you,he must've been the cameraguy at that Pete Doherty interview,so pretty much you can bend over and kiss your ass goodbye dude.

aaahahahahahahahaha
AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

PRICELESS

First time moms DO do stupid things because they don't know any better. It's undoubtedly a learning curve. However, I don't see much about the other four hundred or so babies recently born to celebrities. We haven't even gotten word that Tom Cruise's so-called spawn has sprouted antennae yet. I figure it's just a matter of time on that one though.

If she hadn't been a joke before SP was born, she'd probably get more slack...

Um. And I like her top, but I hate the fact that there's a bra under it. Then again, I'm a whore... and it's hot, so I'm thinking the fewer clothes, the better.

#35, #54. You're right. I feel bad that she's crying.

But that doesn't mean Brit-Brit doesn't need to get her sh*t-sh*t together.

If my own sister (whom I love) almost dropped one of my nieces b/c she was: a) carrying a drinking glass at the same time; and/or b) she wore pants that would cause her to trip, I would prolly call her stupid, too.

who the fuck is the dude with the mustache?

Obviously, she hates the kid and keeps trying to kill HIM. THAT'S WHY SHE WANTS A GUN, SO SHE CAN GET IT OVER WITH ONCE AND FOR ALL. She knows that celebrities can do whatever they want in this country and not be convicted. Maybe she should just sell the kid to Michael Jackson.

Oh, yeah, loved the Brit's got a gun thing.
Had to be said.
Has there been a TCLTC yet?
I think so, but the whole "I drink too much"...

Okay, so what's with this "I feel so bad" and "people should just leave her alone" bullshit? If she really wanted to get out of the spotlight, she *could* go into seclusion or move somewhere where those damned "pavarottis" don't expect her to go for a little while. It's not as if she trapped in NY and LA. She doesn't *have* to hang out at the Ritz Carlton or stroll down Rodeo where the paparazzi will be waiting to take pictures and *cause* her drop her baby on his head--not that they're responsible for her unfortunate choice in footwear or pant length. She chose the life she's living now by becoming a world-famous performer, marrying that douche and popping out a kid during a peak in her career. She chose that outfit, and she chose her suffering...and now I am going to have a hearty belly laugh as her world goes to shit.

Cold? Heartless? Perhaps. But this isn't the Mickey-Mouse Feelgood Funtime Forum. This is the 'Fish.
Gotta love the schadenfreude, baby.

I'm no fan of Brit's, believe me but when I saw the pocs of her crying I felt really bad, too. I guess I can understand her being so upset. I have a baby 1 month younger than hers and I would be crying, too. I'd feel bad. Not to mention she's gonna have a 1 year old and a newborn. I'd be upset, too. I don't feel TOO bad b/c she's just gonna hire more people to help her. But I'm curious to know where the douchbag is. He seems to have vanished. Did he finally go away?

SP was looking at mustachio man as if to say "TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!!! PLEASE!!!! I CAN'T TAKE THIS CRAP ANY MORE!!!!"

I may be mistaken but the weird moustache guy in the last two Brit pics is prolly her "Manny" to take place of what's hick face when she kicks him to the curb.

I'll give Britney a gun, as long as she promises to use it like a car-seat.

Ahh, boo-hoo for Britney! Where are the violins? She's dumber than a box of hair, and she deserves what she is getting. Look at her! That picture in McDonalds with her back fat hanging out, her thong up her arse like dental floss, and that god-awful kleenex wrapped around her says it all: trailer trash. Seriously, if she was a nobody cramming an Egg McMuffin into her fat, acne crusted pie-hole while screaming at her snotty kid while he runs around getting ketchupy-fingers all over other people, you'd all be staring in f*cking disgust at what a welfare ditchpig she is. But what, she's famous, so we all have to stand around in awe like she's a special case or something?

She's so stupid, she makes me sick.

Britney's falling apart. Literally. I think I see some stuffing poking out. But anyway, it's so obvious why Britney needed a gun. Ingenius, actually. She was thinking that if she could have a gun, the next time she's about to drop sean (which believe me, will happen), she'll just shoot the person in front of her. That way, when sean falls, there will be a dead person on the ground padding the fall. Dead people make great pads.

TCLTC (BTW, does anyone remember who the first person to say TCLTC was?)

SCRIPTRADAR

That K-Fed dialogue was classic. I laughed my ass off. Keep it up dude.

I'm so tired of this bitch's antics.

#31....hahahah that was terrible whats wrong with you?

anyway, yeah the video can totally be seen here:
http://video.sympatico.msn.com/v/en-ca/v.htm?g=a312d49b-e0f4-4961-a411-56e8246f71f2&t=c1500&f=37/81&p=encaentertainment_encanews

seriously though, one day mr. mustachio won't be there and shes gonna end up either killing her baby or giving it some major brain damage. actually, its probably already completely messed up.

ugh i dont even want to think about it.

HEM YOUR PANTS!!!

If you would wear clothes that fit - and covered in appropriate places - you wouldn't have to be so concerned about accidents while doing things like, walking...
Stop looking around and start paying attention to your child!

sweet lord, bless and keep an eye on that kid... his parents are going to need HIM to take care of THEM

Yes, I agree Shitney Smears should be spayed. Please God someone plead a case for sterilization and quick!! Could we declare her mentally retarded? Or K-fag? It's obvious she can't look after even one child let alone the spawn inside her rapidly growing belly. Poor fetus is fighting for room, what with the crowding from the Cheeto's and alcohol taking up precious space. I will start praying for both of the Federline offspring.

is it me or does it look like the dude behind her is pushing the baby up?!?!?!

i dont see how his hand helps.

You know, as much as I don't give a shit about Britney, after seeing this http://www.usmagazine.com/blog/2006/05/19/britney-breaks-down/ it actually is a little sad. Wait. Wait. Wait.....Ok I'm over it. Stupid bitch.

Shitney should get no slack. She's trying to use her baby to generate some positive buzz and/or sympathy. But she's too stoooooopid to pull it off successfully. Publicity is the only reason why she's dragging that poor creature all over the godamned countryside for no fucking reason.
Babies that young should be at home people unless you really need to take them somewhere.

I don't feel bad for Shitney. She chose this life, so suck it up, and shut the fuck up. She CHOSE to marry a deadbeat trailer trash serial impregnator who left his GF for her while she was 8 months pregnant, and she CHOSE to get knocked up not once, but twice. Every stupid ass decision she's made in her worthless life has gotten her to this point, so STFU and fucking deal with it, bitch. She has more options than most people, she can leave this douchewad and still support herself and her kids, which is more than most women can do, so I have no sympathy. You make bad decisions, you reap the consequences. Karma's a bitch, Brit-Brit, and it's SO nice to see you getting what you deserve.

The flash of the paparazzi's cameras blinded her for a second, people, don't you know?! It couldn't possibly be because of:

a) her unbalanced pregnant body on 7 inch heels
b) her desire to not spill her drink of liquid cheetos
c) her too-long funky jeans from the Jessica Simpson line
d) her boobs were overfilled with breast milk and made her fall

Other reasons people?

drink? duuuuhhhhhhhhhhh ... isn't she supposed to be pregnant at the moment?

Haha @ 82:

Great minds think alike on the "Shitney" thing. And you are so right about using that ugly ass kid for publicity. She's too dumb to realize that everyone is laughing at her stupidity for even having a kid w/K-Fed in the first place and wondering how fucked up it's gonna be in 20 years. Could she be any more fucking clueless? The only reason she even interests people anymore is because they wanna see how long it takes for her to hit the 300-lb mark, divorce K-Tard, get hooked on meth, or have a complete and total meltdown. I'm taking bets now.....

4: Goddamn it, she'll walk the cuff off of her pantlegs like any good whiskey tango woman, and don't you forget it! Hem, shmem.

boobs overfilled with breast milk?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GOLD!!!

e)her succesful attempt to not drop the vodka she had on the glass.

Why the fuck was she carrying a drink glass all over the fucking street in the first place? Doesn't water come in fucking bottles? That my dear Watson wasn't water. The only logical conclusion is that she was having a meeting with her Panamanian bankers to talk about their money laundering operation AND she's slowly poisoning Sean Preston.

Fuck, no one deserves to be photgraphed having a breakdown. Nothin' pretty about snot hanging from a bright red nose, puffy eyes, mascara tracks.... I really wish she would take that baby and hide out for awhile, away from the paparazzi, who fuel this fire. Now, I am NOT trying to defend Britney, I couldn't give my dog's shit about her.... but c'mon... the pity I felt is eating away at my sarcastic cunty side... and I am cunty. DELICIOUSLY cunty.

This sounds like a great comedy movie idea: Ben Stiller is a bodyguard/nanny for a baby, whose mother is an accident prone, hick, has-been teen pop star. It could also be a parody of The Bodyguard.

I'm doing lunch with my agent next week...

57 - Leaving L.A. would be the worst mistake she could EVER make. People in L.A. tolerate her extensive booger-eatin' moron kind of stupidity because the entertainment industry is here. If she went anywhere else, regular police and child services would be on her ass in about 0.2 seconds.

God, if Britney ever gets hold of a gun, she's gonna make al-Qaida look like Barney Fife (with bullet in pocket). Absolutely NO ONE will be safe.

On the upside, with that many random shootings, property values in L.A. might drop enough that I can afford to buy a refrigerator box with a view!

This bitch needs to put down the shopping bags and the drinks and actually hold her child. That, or let the Dave Grohl look-a-like do it. Not like it matters; her kid looks brain damaged anyways.

81: I like the fact that the article says she attempted to use SP as a "little human shield". I'm starting to picture a great action-comedy with Brit blazin' away with her new pistol at some menacing criminal-types, while Sean eats round after round after round like that poor son-of-a-bitch on the escalator in "Total Recall".

Hold on...I gotta call Paramount and get in touch with Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer!

http://www.starterupsteve.com/flash/html/go_away.shtml it makes fun of everyone we hate: T cruise, olsens, k fed, ashley, lindsay...

She is so f***ing stupid. some people should not be allowed to have kids.
http://celebreligion.com

Hey, where can I get a
FREE SEAN PRESTON! T-shirt?

@ 94

wow - that took some time to make! Someone has an honest and true hatred of celebrities

I totally agree about shitney bringing all this on herself. This didn't just start when she became pregnant with SP. This started waaayyyy back when she and k-fag did that idiotic, reality show CHAOTIC...from that moment forth everything she did and will be under scrutiny and up for grabs to anyone who wants to make a punch-line out of her & her every day life...

This may be stating the obvious, but she is the dumbest hillbilly alive.

And in other "New Mom Fashion Emergency" news:
http://ak.imgfarm.com/images/gossip/celebrities/0517shields.jpg
WTH?!

Britney, don't eat the brown acid!

It's pretty safe to assume that there will BE an E True Hollywood Story featuring the by then, just out of prison after serving a 5 year rap for Possession of Child Pornography Trafficked over Interstate Lines, Sean Preston Federline talking about his mommy issues.

video of her tripping:

http://tmz.aol.com/article2/_a/exclusive-video-britneys-stumble/20060519111009990001

video of her crying about it...

http://us.video.aol.com/video.full.adp?mode=0&pmmsid=1648867&restartUrl=http%3a%2f%2fus%2evideo%2eaol%2ecom%2fvideo%2eindex%2eadp%3fmode%3d1%26pmmsid%3d1648867&mode=1

Holy crap Tracie (96) - warn us next time! Scarring my corneas!

Why is Shitney dressed like a low class stripper? She looks horrid. And a BLACK bra with that halter? EWWWWWWW Since her boobs are getting really full - just dont worry about the bra - then she can turn around and blap the cameras outta the way!

TRANNY - where are you my prick-ly pear cactus?

I'd put the over/under on a complete meltdown at 14 months..... I'll take the under.

BarbadoSlim (98) Right after that will be the story of Cody Gifford of the Kathy Me fame. I can see him on the top of a water tower with a gun, and a can of paint defending his sister's honor.

SP's last words: "Hey yall, watch this!"

100% HER FAULT! She's an idiot for wearing too long tattered-hem pant with heels. One would EXPECT to trip. And then carries her kid around like that?!? And don't EVEN get me started on the whole black bra/halter top spectacle. She needs to get busted by the fashion police next. Instead of going to a toy store she should have gone and bought pants that fit correctly, walking shoes and maybe even a halter bra. In addition to hiring baby catchers to accompany her, she should consider hiring someone to pick out her outfits for her.

Shitney needs Nanny 911. I can just see it now, oh yeah ....

also, a picture of her tangled jeans and heels..

http://s2.supload.com/image.php?get=ASNY180506A_08.jpg

#92 ok Im in agreement that shitney has brought this all on herself. But I am not in agreement about trash talking an innocent child. He didn't ask to be born nor did he ask to have such an inept mother. So lay off the little guy...

First she drops Kabbalah, then she drops the kid. Next, hopefully, will be K-Fed.

Is it just me, or does the new body guard look like a moustached reincarnation of Mr. Rogers.

BTW... I have a two year old. They make strollers with cupholders. You would think Britney would have seen one at Wal*Mart.

In a perfect world, Sean P. would grow up and marry Suri Cruise (if said alien baby truly exists), impregnate her repeatedly, and continue the trailer-trash existence his hillbilly parents have so expertly demonstrated for him, which we all know would piss off Tom Cruise no end. Katie, meanwhile, would still be chained to the radiator in the basement, blissfully unaware of her daughter's fate.

Shitney needs to get a life counselor and a stylist right now, because that bra-under-a-halter, knocked-up within six months of giving birth, slipping while trying to balance your eight month old AND your vodka-tonic, desperately grabbing at any publicity you can get lifestyle is fucked up. And F-Fuck needs a vasectomy.

Whoops my bad. That's K-Fuck.

#94
that link was great! reminds me a bit of the stuff weird al used to do!

stupid bitch. on the other hand, she's an excellent example for her fans about the same age. this is what you should NOT do!

and where's mamacita? that dangling participle needs correcting!!
and so did that one.

mr. superfish, please get better fast. my life is nothing without you.

GOOD THING COLIN FERRIL WAS THERE TO CATCH HIM.

And she looks bad... I think the drink was ak-a-hol.!!

Whoop dee doo. She tripped while holding her drink and her baby. To suggest that she loves her drink more than her baby is pathetic at best.

She has done some inexcusable stuff. The car incidents spring to mind but this is really nothing major.

It doesn't really looked like she tripped either, babies can throw themselves back while trying to arch, it looks like thats what this kid is trying to do...

*long drawn out sigh*
Just another reason just anyone shouldn't be allowed to procreate.

I am in agreement that she should not be:
1)walking around pregnant with heels on
2)walking around pregnant holding SP
and
3)walking around with a glass, in heels, with SP on her hip.

She should really invest in an umbrella stoller that can easily fold and be put away. They're at most $20 at Walmart. I still think that baby is cute. He's innocent in all this mayhem. He didn't ask to be born to idiots.

The best thing Britney could do for her declining bank account is to drop the kid. Then, after Sean Preston ends up with permanent brain damage, she could market the Baby Bjorn carrier under the new name of the Baby Britney and use the half-crushed skull of her infant son as proof that every parent with a spare $50 should invest in one.

Too bad K-Fed spent all of her mad loot in Vegas. She might have been able to spare S-Pres from a lifetime in a wheelchair.

Dear writer @ thesuperficial,
I hope you feel better soon because being sick sucks and you run my favorite celebrity gossip website. You sharp humor and quick wit is delightful. Please don't die. Thank you.

re: Britney Spears
Someone please put a cork in her vagina.

You know it's a slow day on the SF when BigJim, Osh, Papa, Cruising, pinky, Feed_Me, Land-Man, and all the rest of the motherfuckers aren't around....

I am on my 2nd glass of wine, looking forward to putting the kids to bed, and fucking my hubby's brains out. I just might spank him, if he's been a naughty boy. Cuz I like to fuck, y'all. Oh, yes I do...

Britney must be my idol. I ate a whole bag of cheetos today (yes the big bag).

i have a question for all the people who think we all need to cut britney some slack...what the fuck is wrong with you?!?!?! yes, new mothers make mistakes, they do not however, continuously put their children in danger. i know alot of first time mothers and sure as hell none of them have put driven with their babies on their laps or almost dropped them because they were holding a drink or wearing unfunctional clothing. yes, some of them have put the carseat in wrong, but they then read the directions and put it in correctly before strapping the kid into it...we should not cut britney slack because the difference between her and other first time mothers is that they learn from their mistakes, and dont continue to do stupid things that could possibly get their children killed...

The "This is why ah need uh gun." comment is a load of crap. She needs to come to the realization that when the Religion of Mommydom requires all loyal followers to stop dressing like ridiculous skanks and start dressing practically...they are called "flats", sweetheart (borrow some from Lohan--she's always pairing them with her black tights).

Those clunky-ass espadrilles are the same ones she wore with her giant tropicana orange costume recently, of course they played no part in her stumble!

(BTW- I barfed a lil when I saw the back of that top w/ the thong and bra hanging out, you'd think if you were going to show everyone your undergarments you'd at least match them...)

I'm bored of Britney... Whatever happened to Whitney's crack problem?

krisdylee - I know what you mean. At work I can read, but not post (security controls) so by the time I can get on here and comment - people are usually gone.

Arent you supposed to be going to Canada for 3 days?

I think after I finish my alcoholic beverage I will show that ex-marine I am married to some real discipline :) oh yeah, come to mama :)

Okay. Fuck her. This is ridiculous. The child didn't have a chance with two village idiots as parents to begin with, but this is utterly tragic and it makes me want to rip her face off.

Pagan Queen: Are you Navy equipment? (Marine = My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment) :)

FaCubeitches - LMAO - I was in the Navy...so I recon that he did/does!

112: Whitney's habit is old hat. I want more models faceplanting out of buses. A good has-been crime spree is probably overdue, as is a Nolte/Busey/Downey rehab trip.

115: Sweet. :)

My fave Marine bash was the version of the Hymn after Desert Storm:

"From the Halls of Montezuma,
To the deserts of Kuwait.
You though you were the main attack,
Turns out you were just the bait!"

Only thing I could find is Paris's ex, Nick from Backstreet Boys was arrested for sexual assault.

Hohan wants to go to Africa to help AIDS victims. She wants to show her "human" side.

It is Friday night, I am sure right now, somewhere, a "celebrity" is doing something wonderfully superficial that we will be able to opine on.

Oh - owch Fa Cube!! He was in DS1, but as radio recon he was forward with the SEALs. Went into liberate Kuwait - saw some horrible stuff when they got the Iraqi's outta there.

What sound do you hear when shit hits the fan?

mmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaarine!

Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected. :)

Actually, I like most of the marines I've met, except for the ones just out of the Island.

Radio recon? Was he ANGLICO?

118: Must be typo on the news feed. Lohan in Africa would only create more AIDS victims. Well, I guess she could create them, then help them. It's the circle of life, Simba!

LMAO I havent heard that version of MARINE - were you Army by chance?

Not ANGLICO.

What is black and crispy and sits on a rooftop?

A Marine Corps electrician!

If she screwed anything after Paris maybe she is thinking super herpes will kill it.

She must be confusing Herbie with Herpes.

Too much "diamond dust"

U.S.M.C.
When it absolute, positively has to be blown the fuck up.

Eh, my mom was in the marines.

Sorry, that should be with a capital 'M'arines.

122: Yup (I know, I know, Aren't Ready for Marines Yet), until I crunched a leg and they included me in the post-Gulf "downsizing" of the military.

Join the Corps, go to exotic places, meet new people and kill them :)

Kill a commie for your mommie. Ah, those were the days.

Ari - so you could never take offense at that "your mama wears combat boots" cut cuz she did.

I was Joint Deployable, so I got to wear them, too. Secret Sneakers - that, my friends, is a wonderful combat boot.

britney may be an idiot, but all the people callin her fat... are u nuts? she looks pretty damn thin for a pregnant woman. i can only hope to look as good as that if i ever become pregnant

She was a recruiter, so most of the time, she was in pumps, lol. She also spent time teaching electronics, and I have no idea what the uniform for that would be. But I know she can still pull a radio apart in no time flat.

Gawd, I love me a man in dress blues... (only slightly irrelevant thought there)

Old mil joke:

The Differential Theory of Special Operations Forces

(Snake Model)

Upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operation
(AO):

* Paratrooper: Kills the snake.

* Armor: Runs over snake, giggles, and looks for more snakes.

* Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come 'ere kitty . . .Ouch! Hey, that's not a kitty cat."

* Infantry (alt): "Ugh! Me see snake. Me like snake. Ouch! Me no like snake."

* Army Aviation: Has GPS grid to snake. Couldn't find snake. Back to base for crew rest and the club and some sort of drink called "The Snake"

* Ranger: Plays with the snake, then eats it.

* Ranger (alt): Assaults the snake's home and secures it for use by friendly snakes.

* SEAL: Expends all ammunition, several grenades and calls for naval gunfire in a failed attempt to kill the snake. The snake bites the SEAL then retreats to safety.

* Corps Artillery: Kills snake, but in the process kills several hundred civilians with a massive TOT with three FA BDEs in support. Mission is considered a success and all participants are awarded Silver Stars. (Cooks, Mechanics, Legal Clerks etc.)

* Marine Recon: Follows the snake and gets lost

* Combat Controller: Guides the snake elsewhere.

* Pararescue: Wounds the snake in first encounter, then feverishly works to save the snake's life.

* Special Forces: Makes contact with the snake, builds rapport, wins its heart and mind, then trains it to kill other snakes.

Did you get at least 80% or more when you got "right sized"?

I got out at 12, had 2 isolated duties back to back, then shore where I had my daughter. Was at my EAOS and they wanted me to do more isolated thinking I was too far into my career to get out. I was offered unaccompanied to Korea, DG, etc - uh NO!!!

I missed it alot when I first got out - missed the family feel, dysfunctional family, but hey, we were all we had.

@102-

Eh. It's a baby, it doesn't know what anyone is saying about it. Kids are annoying anyways, especially mongoloid celebrity white trash babies. I do feel kinda bad for it though, having that lard ass trailer park trash as it's mother.

Ari - nothing like being on a base and looking at the men in uniform. Even though I snagged my perfect man, I can still appreciate others in uniform. Semper Fi!!

How the hell do you people get so far off topic? Don't you have some of that new fangled stuff called email to talk about other crap you continuously litter this site with?

Also - Army vs. Air Force (Shit Model)

An Army grunt marches 5 miles through the rain and says "This is shit!"

An Army Airborne soldier runs 10 miles through cold rain in full combat gear and says: "This is the shit!"

An Army Ranger crawls 15 miles through freezing mud after fast-roping out of a helicopter into a swamp in the enemy's rear and grins: "I love this shit!"

An Army Special Forces operator crawls 20 miles through sleet and freezing rain wearing nothing but camo paint, kills a platoon of enemy soldiers, and exults: "God, give me more of this shit!"

An Air Force pilot walks into the air-conditioned lounge, opens a beer, sits on the couch, picks up the remote and says: "Christ, the cable's out. What kind of shit is this?"

Moose: well, seeing as there have been two topics in as many days.....

Fa (134) I was trying to find that. It is so damned true. Flybabies always get the cushy stuff.

Moose - we did try to scrape the barrel on celeb gossip.

Email is fine - but you cant get the feeling of love as you can from the superfish

@134
Haahahahahahaa....

My daddy was in the Air Force. Sounds about right, according to him. That's when he wasn't flying generals or some such halfway around the world and coming home with teak furniture. I shit you not...

137 - Kinda like George Carlin's old joke: when he got drafted, he opted for the Air Force because he didn't want to be in the military.

Moose - cuz I love wildlife, I will post on topic.

SP is a really cute baby. I think Brit does need to sit down and take a hard look at her life and the choices she has made.

She looked pretty destroyed in the pictures taken after. Maybe this will give her a wakeup call.

As far as the clothes she was wearing - maybe her last attempt to keep K-Fed interested. After all, 6th month of pregnancy is about the time he replaces "old ladies".

Yeah, I suppose it is time for him to trade up.

I know it's been said about four million times, but somebody needs to Lorena Bobbitt K-Fuck.

There, back on topic. Everybody happy?

i dount c da problim. mi mommah drooped mi a loot to. geve da gurll a breek.

Welp - time for me to hit they hay. It has been a long day.

Sleep tight and done let the bedbugs bite - unless they are really dishy!

(NOT a diss on this post being late..just an addition!)

http://www.gildedmoose.com shows the full photo, with the drink in her hand. I think that may have been the same website that has "Save Sean!" shirts, too.

Please someone take that kid away from her soon!

The only thing getting in the way of the divorce countdown is another kid....and, it happened.

Now she'll have TWO kids from that asshole after the divorce.

What a stupid bitch.

Sean Preston Spederline = Crash Test Dummy
Britney Spears = Just Plain Dummy

You figure anyone born to K-Fed and Britney Spears would be in enough trouble from a genetic point of view, but it's looking doubtful he's going to survive childhood to live down to his parents name.

Britney needs a gun so she can shoot herself before she kills her baby.

Anyone notices how SP's arm looks like it's reaching out to grab on to Mr. Moustache as he feels himself falling out of his mother's arms?

It's kinda sad when an 8-month-old kid already seems to know his mum won't keep a good grip on him, and instinctively reaches out to hold on to someone else other than his own mother.

Anyway, Mr. Moustache for President, 2008.

she shouldnt be wearing high heels while she is holding her child. also, since she is pregnant she shouldnt be wearing high heels because she may fall and injur her self and the child. she needs to get a stroller, b/c for some reason this kid is always in her arms, which is obviously harmful.

Britney is not a new mom making mistakes. She is just absolutely stupid. And I don't say that to be insulting- look at her. She must have Play-Doh for brains.

Who goes out wearing long jeans with hi-heels, pregnant, holding a baby and a drink? No wonder she tripped. It could have been completely prevented. I am thankful that her baby wasn't hurt.

It's only a matter of time.

Things aren't going good for her now, but this is the natural order of things. Britney sold her soul to the devil when she first donned those pigtails and shimmied those hips for "Baby, one more time".

And the second she married K-Fed, the devil said, "Nah, I don't want it. You can have your soul back."

How would Britney Spears owning a gun prevent this type of thing from happening?

I don't know -- but Britney shooting the baby would be a much better fate for the baby, than dealing with poor parenting for years to come.

... yeah; that was a little dark.

Why doesn't she just hire a nanny to carry the baby. Or use the father....

You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl. Love the outfit, Lurleen!

Did it occur to anyone else that she might only have been crying merely because it was caught on camera and she knew it would be more shit she was gonna catch???

I was telling my son about Britts difficulties. He got very defensive. He said all of these things happened to him but there were no cameras watching. He pointed out that he got dropped on his head (fell out of the cart at Sams at age 4) That his dad used to drive with him on his lap (in our driveway when he moved the car, age 1 and up) and that he was sure I almost dropped him at some point (probably right) The difference he didnt see, is this all has happened in the first 8 months of tater tots life. I am really starting to feel sorry for her. Shes just such an idiot.

poor baby!!

Did it ever occur to anyone that she was drunk when this happened? And her saying "This is why I need a gun" is only her trying to deflect being drunk whilst carrying her kid.
3 times in public now she has almost caused harm to her child. And now she's about to have another.
Child services should be involved in this.

I am SO supersied, yet another thing she does to put the baby in danger.

First, the car seat thing that was NOt the paparazzi's fault... how could they get her in a LOCKED car?

Then, the baby dropping incident! She blamed the nanny when her OWN MOTHER 9Lynn) said that Britney NEVER lets anyone else hold the baby except k-fed, Britney herself and Lynn. Redicilous.

Then, I ALWAYS see that baby without a hat in the sun. He is at the beach with his fair skin, in the sun. Riding in a car slumped over, with his fair skin, in the sun. It is not accaptable! At least this time the hat was there to be flung off.

Was she drunk? She has got to be one of the worst mothers ever. Her and Mommy dearest.

Brit Brit invest the few peso on a
http://www.parentsafely.com/over-the-shoulder-baby-holder/index.html

And uhm DITCH the heels, a fall will probably not only cause brain damage to child it could kill your unborn one.

Oh wait stike that .....her yah go I am sending these over with a love K-Fed card

http://eleveneast.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=EEC&Product_Code=K97&Category_Code=ultra-platforms

It's a good thing Colin Ferril was there to catch him.

@94-

I like how they threw Jennifer Garner in there. What IS wrong with her face, I have said since she first came out that she's one of the ugliest people in Hollywood, it's good to know that not everyone thinks she's SOOO hot.

Two Questions:

1) Do youre breast implants swell when you are pregnant because Britneys looking bigger?

2) Will Sean Preston have innate immunity to Saline from Britney?

Of course Britney had to nearly drop the kid, improperly install the child seat, raise him via/delegate him to a nanny, and marry a winner like KFED. Why you ask well after giving you some questions...heres an answer.

Britney Spears was born and raised in a small town in Louisiana by conservative christian parents.

Thats all you need to know about why britney is the way she is and does what she does. Shame on us for enriching her.

#150 I never thought she was hot, in fact I think that's a man baybee. Which in turn makes Ben Affleck a total homo. (he was still da' bomb in Phantoms yo')

poor britney. have you seen the video on TMZ of her crying after almost dropping her baby? its really sad.i know she isnt exactly the worlds greatest mum, but she deserves some privacy. it made me feel dirty watching that video!

@151-

Jen Garner looks a lot like Hilary Swank to me, and a little like Julia Roberts. She is also the second worst dresser in Hollywood (older women, not LindsHo, etc)besides Julia Roberts. Neither of those women can wear ANYTHING attractive, or in style. Is it just me, or does Shitney look like she has huge bags under her eyes in those pics? I mean, HUUUUGE ass bags. Freaky!

She's as good of a parent as much as Trophywife isn't white trash.

I agree with #109. This is my favourite gossip site and it's all thanks to the brilliance of the author. Get well soon!

Wow, someone already made a movie about this:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0629907/

She needs a gun to shoot herself in the face because that's the only way Preston will survive infancy . . .

look! britney spears wrote an op-ed piece! she submitted it in someone else's name though, and backdated it a few years. but the similarities are too striking to be ignored.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/37495

@102 ... I'm sorry if I hurt Sean Preston's feelings. I'm sure his trust funds will ease the pain. But I don't rescind my earlier comment; this kid has a continually blank (read: brain damaged) expression on his face. Either way, genetics and the head injury are not working in his favor. Knowing Britney, he probably has fetal alcohol syndrome.

Well, I'm wondering where Edna Bumbrick is. Seems mighty strange that she gets quiet when SF gets quiet. hmmmmmm. SNAP, maybe she is SF!!!!!

Yesterday would have been Joey Ramone's birthday. He was a legend and a musician and he's done more for music and changing the face of society than this semen incubator, yet she is the more famous and not for her contribution to musical history. Sad isn't it really? I can't wait for the day when she and Christina and Paris and Lindsay and Jessica and all the bubble gum bullshit assholes, including Pariah Scarey are struck with laryngitis and can no longer assalt the ears of the world with their craptastic "music". Yes Christina and Pariah can actually sing but that doesn't mean what they put out is good.

Well, looks like Superfish guy is down, so I will go ahead and post the following celebrity news for ya'll

#1 Paris Hilton's Vagina Spontaneously Combusts

Rueters, NYC: Sources state that socialite Paris Hilton went to her OB-GYN, Dr. Papdooshclamifinger today, for a routine vaginal inspection. During the course of the visit, her vagina burst into flames, scalding the good doctor, 3 nurses, 12 paparazzi and a gang of Hell's Angels that were apparently trying to "daisy chain" Ms. Hilton. Eyewitness accounts have the death toll at 3, with at least 9 wounded. A spiral of greenish smoke has been spotted by spectators as far away as Red Bank, NJ. No word on the cause of the conflagration.

#2 Kelly Clarkson Sits On Monaco

The play-place of the rich and famous, peaceful Monaco, was visited by a disaster of Biblical proportions today. Kelly Clarkson, on vacation from her "songs about guys who dumped me" tour, crushed the principitality today, with what can only be described as an enormous ass. Spokesmen for the singer are trying to put a positive spin on the flattening of the quaint country, "Kelly has always loved Monaco, and is honoured to now carry a piece of it on her backside forever." Haunting audio footage of the last moments of Monaco have natives shrieking, terrified, and only the words "Oh God, is that a Peanut?!" are clearly audible. Contact the Red Cross to help.

#3 FCC Settlement Demands Nipple

Mizzou Daily, MO: Settlement of the infamous "Jackson Nipple/Superbowl" fiasco has been reached in district court today. In the case of "Insignificant piece of human skin vs. the oh my god, is that Satan", a verdict has been reached. The FCC, lead by a Christian Right Wing Fanatic has won the injuction against said nipple. In the old testament "eye for an eye" philosophy, the FCC has demanded and will receive Ms. Jackson's nipple. Spokesgenderlesspeople for the FCC state "no nipples are good nipples". Ms. Jackson has covered the other nipple in plate steel, and will appeal.

#4 And in International news, american actor Thomas Mapother, aka Tom Cruise star of the Interantional Box Office smash "Taps" is reportedly still loving the cock. He's loving it long, hard and rammed straight up his Bugatti Veyron driving ass.

http://entertainment1.sympatico.msn.ca/Celebs/News/ContentPosting.aspx?newsitemid=KP19050603&feedname=CP-SHOWBIZ_V2&show=False&number=0&showbyline=False&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc

hee hee.....

I have this sick fantasy of meeting Tom Cruise and then beating the shit out of him with a crowbar... all the while screaming "You Love The Cock" over and over again.

163, 164

YOU ARE STUPID AND SO ARE YOUR STUPID COMMENTS

THE BEST KEPT SECRET IS, tom cruise doesn't have a fixation with the COCK.

krisdylee, you're sick

I see the Scientology center is monitoring. Sorry guys but Tom has been lying to you, he likes to have his poo punched, it's a known fact.

159:
Thank you, Tranny! I was beginning to suffer withdrawals!

165:
Sounds like someone is going through post- partum without their meds. Just roll with the delicious cuntiness that is krisdylee! All we're missing is Papahotnuts. Papa, where are you?

153: Wow, that was good. I laughed out loud... Don't get me wrong, Trophywife can be amusing in her own way, but what is that husband of hers doing while she's rather desperately fishing for compliments on her Christina Aguilara-like pose? Makes me wonder if he's busy out shopping for a replacement trophy. She seems starved for attention.

Oh, but back to Brits. I ALMOST began to feel a twinge of sympathy for her when I saw the pic of her bloated face streaked with tears...but she's a celebrity, and therefore I cannot wish her anything but a slow and painful death.

165:
Hi, I guess you must be sherry-co's evil twin? Sorry 'bout that.

Tom loves the cock even more than I do.. but then again, I'm a girl and not some "hunky" Hollywood leading man who's trying to convince everyone of his extreme masculinity. He really should just take a few steps out of that closet and be proud of it. I mean... why not?

Tom loves the cock...fucks it, sucks it. Oh, yessiree... he does.

Hey is that a weird bald spot on Seans head or does he just have hat hair?

#157..I really don't think you hurt SP feelings. And maybe I would entertain your comment you whole-heartedly stand behind, had it any weight to it. Don't get me wrong, I am all for Britney bashing. But I also do not rescind my comment, SP didn't ask to be born, nor did he ask for an inept Mom. You say SP "continually" has a blank expression on his face. Now tell me wise one, how many times have you seen him? And has any of those times been in person? Or have you relied on you infinite wisdom from a few random photos taken by some paparazzi. And maybe I'd entertain your idiotic comment had it not been fueled by your first words that his "trust Fund" will ease his pain, which only makes your comment sound as if it is driven from jealousy and not from fact.

Bash the celebrities..bash Britney....but an innocent child? thats just wrong, so leave the little guy alone..he's just a little boy...

I agree #170. While the insults ppl come up with here for Britney are down right-let's face it...HILARIOUS, I'm still her #1 fan. Britney will prevail! Wooha!
Uh, anyway..I like how poster #157 said "Knowing Britney, he probably has fetal alcohol syndrome." I'm pretty sure you don't actually "know" Britney. As do any of us. While she's had her photo taken doing some questionable things...who's to say the next person (like you or I) wouldn't be caught with some horrid photos if we had "pavorattis" (is that what their called LOL) taking pictures of us every minute of the day, every day??

Odium re your comment - remember she never strapped herself nor the baby in the car - that woman is a walking disaster, she needs a few pointers on life in general

@164
I would replace the crowbar with a 12 inch dildo.

britneys cooter stinks.

Hey, eva86, at first I wasn't sure if I was going to respond to your pathetic comment.... but I am feeling extremely cunty today, so I'll just say this:

Take your ugly fat face that no one wants to kiss and head over to some other blog where the average age is 13, cuz that is about the measure of your intellect. While you are at it, take your over-used dildo, that likely smells like lindberger cheese, and shove it up your pimple-covered ass. You are a waste of time and space, so FUCK OFF. I'll probably never respond to your pathetic entries again, so don't even try.

With much love,
krisdylee

krisdylee, you cuntalicious specimen of female perfection, pass the doobage, cuz tomorrow is a day off (although I can take a day off whenever the fuck I feel like it -- at least I don't have to get the kids ready for school).

Dammit, BigJim, you muscle-god, why couldn't have we met years ago????

Love the long weekends.... wake n' bakes are so much fun!!! Weather sux in the Kootenays though.... flood warnings everywhere. Was it sunny in Cowtown?

If Britney Spears were broke I'd feel bad for her. She's just a typical southern marm who has no clue about doing things the right way.

She must regret her stupid decision on getting married (again) to an asshole who just was able to bang her good.

Now she is heading to a litter with a dork of a husband who wishes she'd drown and he could get his hands on her money and go on spawning his seed to every whore who crosses his path.

Oh yeah, it's the weekend. Time for Tom Cruise to go find some cock.

@170 .... Why do you even post on this site? My comments are obviously facetious (look it up); I don't "whole-heartedly" stand behind them because they are a
J-O-K-E . The whole point here is to do some tongue-in-cheek celeb bashing. Besides, if the photos of SP are completely "random" (i.e., taken at various times and places) and he looks blank in all of them, then that just reinforces my point that he is possibly retarded. But you're right. Although I have never held a conversation with SP in person (I tried getting his autograph once), I'm totally jealous of him. I want to remaster the art of looking mentally challenged, crapping in diapers, and getting dropped. Anyways, people like you suck all of the fun out of these boards. Please take your smug moralizing and cram it up your self-righteous ass.

P.S Your tag looks like it was written by a 14 year old. OMG, like using 8's in words was kewl in junior high LMAO !!1!

Howdy folks!

Cause I am currently far from home and thusly have no life, I am going to post the following important people born on this day:

1 Mr. T
2 TrannyGranny....although the birth certificate has a different name for some reason.

So, If anyone is within 100 miles of central Missouri and wants to hit a tittie bar (or knows where one is) let me know.

Canadalings: What the fuck is Victoria day anyway?

Fucktards (you know who you are)

This Britney bad mommy thing? It's called Darwinism. Survival is not for the rich, but for the smart. The world is merely trying to right itself by killing off more potential inbreeding. Sorry SP, but your days are numbered.
For you creative design worshippers out there, substitute the word "Satan" for Darwinism, and this post will make more sense to your tiny little brains.

Happy Fucking Birthday you cockalicious fucker. Hope you get it wet today, have a drink fer me... Victoria Day is technically to celebrate Queen Victoria's birthday, since we were once part of the monarchy of Great Britain. Some think we still are, and if it gives us a long weekend, so be it.

If I was in Missouri, I'd show you my titties.... xoxox

Maybe everyone should just let her be....anyone commenting on his that has kids could hardly say that they are a perfect parent. Chances are many of you have done things that were not the "proper" thing to do with your children. How many of you endanger your child's health by feeding them candy and fast food? Statistics say that too many of us do. Or who among us has has their baby sleep in the parental bed in order to get a few more winks of sleep? Experts say this is not safe for our kids. So all of you who are so quick to judge might want to think about how competant you would look if your every move was documented by the press. Maybe she wouldn't have tripped if she could have just walked out to her car instead of having to maneuver around all of the vultures trying to take her picture.

Happy Birthday Mr. T.G....so, how old are you today?

I wish I could give you a birthday spanking.

Hi Hotties;

I'm the big 33. I wish I was seeing titties and being spanked! Just cruised town, no titty bar here that I could see, bummer...at least the liquor store is still open. I have put post-its over the faces of the the girls in my Playboy, and labeled one Krisdylee and the other Prettierthanmeganharris.

Thanks for the V-day info. I need to check on some Canadien history, honestly I have no idea about you guys past the steroetypes. Considering we have common ancestors, smoke the same grass, speak the same language and love beaver (s) I should know more about it.

I'll save your spankings for later when you make it over to the east coast.
The liquor stores are open on Sundays in Missouri? So, are you getting shit faced as we speak?

Just got some whiskey....now I am getting shit faced as we speak!

What state ya in?

I'm in northeast PA, not originally from this area though.
Are the post its sticky yet?

I've built myself a saran-wrap splatter guard to keep the post-its un spoiled...unless you're into that kind of thing! What ever it takes, I'm down.
Spent some time up by Philly, on the Jersey side of the river. The experience has ruined pizza for me forever, there is just no going back to that shit they serve out west.

Just had a thought. Suppose Brit's new fuck trophy is a girl. Suppose SP and the new girl both, somehow, live to puberty. Suppose they do what all hillbilly brothers and sisters do, and "practice for marriage" on each other. Suppose the girl gets knocked up during the course of this practicing.

The child that is born will be the Anti-Christ, and doom will bestow itself on all.

Or at the very least it will have 2 heads and a prehensile tail and we can all visit it at the circus!

I am no Brittney fan but, I saw the video on TMZ and in real time its just a little ankle twist, no big deal. I really hate to defend such trash but, this time..it was nothing.

May you make the best of your birthday.
Being in Missourah, the whole Playboy and whiskey thing seems like the best you can hope for.
May you sleep well and wake.
-Sodomy

@189 I haven't had a facial in awhile, so go for it. You are getting me all worked up T.G. !! I'm going to have to go molest hubby now:)
I'm closer to Allentown btw, which isn't known for its pizza, just coal and steel. I prefer pizza from Chicago.

Sodomy- all the chicks in my age range, 25-40 are married in this state, part of the group psyche I suppose. Damn the luck.

Prettier; It IS good for the complexion, all that protein and amino acids. Never had real Chicago pizza. Billy Joel! Whoo-hoo. Hey, do it on the kitchen counter, or against a door opening (you can grab the door jam for support) the angle seems to really work that nerve bundle on women. To paraphase "Clerks" Making a woman come is an art form, to make a guy come, the girl just has to be there.

YOU! Yes YOU lurker. I am talking to you. All my friends back home have called me already today, so I can expect no more telly calls. Prettier is getting boned, no doubt so is Kris. Sodomy signed in, probably won't have much more. So, lurker, sign the fuck in and say hi, say something witty. Get some practice in on the slow weekend before all hell breaks loose with the regulars manana. You fucking know you want to.

This just In!

#5 Interstate 95 is a Penis!

Scientists studying an odd phenomena in Washington, D.C. have recently made a bold statement: The North to South Interstate, called by some the "uptight douchebag to paradise highway", I-95, is an enormous penis. Originating somewhere in D.C., and terminating in the hotness of Miami, this road is travelled by millions every year. Scientists first became suspicious of penile activity when an Apache indian laid his head on the road and the vibrations said "I got a Land-Cock, and some Land-Shots" Research began immediately.

FUCK !! I KNEW SOMEONE WAS WATCHING ME...

I've come out of the would work with nothing good to say... I'm going back to sleep.

I hate Britney Spears and I hope her next baby is retarded.

Oh... I guess I did have something to say.

Ah, Canada... what do you want to know Tranny???

how didja'll get your independance? Why did you have big pennies and small pennies at the turn of the last century ( my dad really did escape from canada)

And most important, tell me about your bikini line, you sexy nympho!

BBQ slim;

are you saying you laid your head upon The Penis....and it talked to you?

BBQ slim;

are you saying that you laid you head upon The Penis? You sick fuck.

SWEET!!!!

My first double post!

I have not a fucking clue how I did it, either. ( pronounce eye-there)

Well, kiddo's, I really appreciate (and I truly mean this) Krisdylees, Prettierthanmeganharris, Sodomyisforgirls for respectivly showing me virtual tits (delicious) letting me come on your face (always wanted to) and hoping I wake up (been wondering about that since I was 16) and generally wishing a happy b-day. Life on the road is lonely, and ya'll make it bearable and fun. I took today off from meetings tomorrow (still got paperwork though) so I hope superfish man is ok enough to post some shit, cause I am ready to TRASH some fuck manana. Love and anti-herpes to everyone, except my ex, may she find out her new boyfriend is her dad.

Weekend sentimentality over, fucktards, you are all on the list for tomorrow....lol

Tranny, your ex and mine should get together.... bet they'd be great.

Happy Birthday, and don't ruin too many magazines!

krisdylee - I thought Canada was still part of the Commonwealth, with the Queen as head of state, thus still very much a part of the Monarchy? Canada is definitely not a republic, it's like Australia and New Zealand.

Bikini line? Try a small landing strip.

We became independent, to use your words, in 1867, our "day" is July 1.... we do love hockey,(well, most of us), never saw a polar bear outside of the zoo. Don't live in an igloo, we do have hot summers, our money is colourful, we say "zed" instead of "zee", we have 1 and 2 dollar coins, I can spark up a joint anytime and never fear jail, (just a small fine), our dollar is at an all-time high, 90 cents per your dollar, (the latest I think...) we have a Prime Minister, not a President, and his name is Stephen Harper, I don't like the fucker, but I don't like Bush either. We are usually more subdued in our patriotism, most Canucks love a good beer, our national "symbol" is the beaver, and you can interpret that any which way you want to. My beaver is a hot, tight shaved fun-box, and I plan on using it tonight. I love all you fuckers out there, Canadian, American, European, whatever.

xoxo,
sincerely yours,
krisdylee

I created a membership/login to this site just so I could comment on this picture.. can we start a petition or something to get this poor baby away from her??

I'm not trying to defend her nearly dropping her baby, but it looks like the paparazzi were harrassing her from the way they are surrounding her.

Way to go britney!! seems like you and Michael Jackson have something in common...you are both are threat to children!

@171-

Yes, they ARE called "pavarottis", at least if you are K-Tard. FYI, that's what he called them in that lame-ass joke of a song, Popozao. The More You Know.....

@170-

I really don't think ANYONE here is jealous of SP. Look at his parents. He can have all the money in the world, but he's STILL Shitney and Cletus's kid. And just like Star Maker Machinery said, if you don't like the comments on this site, you are more than welcome to leave, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. And, yes, I am basing my opinions of SP's mental state on the paparazzi (oops, PAVAROTTI) pics because there are a lot of them, and in EVERY SINGLE ONE, the kid seems to be retarded. If it was one or two pics, then I might not be worried, but since there's about 100 of them and he's got the same blank stare in all of them, you kinda have to go with the obvious. Anyways, how are the rest of you doing today?? :)

tsarinaamanda,

I think I love you.

that slurpy doesn't weigh as much as Sean Preston does, have you people ever though about that? and how do you figure she was drunk when this happened? Devastator_X must have been there to smell her breath...oh i get it, they're the source from where this website gets all their information!!

TRANNY HAPPY BIRTHDAY~~

Consider yourself flashed by me, too. A man cant see enough titties on his birthday!

I drove next to a guy in a van one day. He had a sign in the window that said "Its my birthday - show me your tits".

Wonder how many men flashed him! haha

Happy 33rd you sexy bastard.

i heart krisdylee.... you are freaking briliant. either that or i'm fishing for compliments and starved for attention again...

nah, you're hilarious. i heart krisdylee...

ok, enough professing my love... off to wash my white trash double wide!!!! night ya'll!

thanks, trophywife. you know, you are the kind of woman i'd fuck.

what the fuck is up with all you bitches syaing that it wasnt her fault because the was bein harassed by the paparazzi? if she had been holding the baby correctly or pushing a stroller or holding him in one of those baby-slings it wouldnt have been a problem...but you know, this is natures way of thinning the herd...

Am I missing something here?

What is with you guys, titties, cocks, etc., etc., Most of the time I come on here and get a kick out of your comments...but for God's sake give me/the rest of us a break, everyone has had plenty to say about Paris Hilton's dirt bag boyfriends potty comments, but listen to yourselves. Grow up you cannot have much of a life if this is how you get your kicks.
(At the risk of sounding like EDNA). But, that's my view, and I'm sticking to it.

Star Maker Machinery-

I think I love you too.

@250-

I have said it before, but I guess I'll have to say it again, since you WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTION!!! There should be NO pity for Brit-Brit. She has gotten what she pursued so relentlessly and desperately since she was a little girl, and now we're supposed to lay off her? No way. This is what she wanted, and she has to realize that fame comes with a downside, just like everything in life, and I'm sure that she was aware of the price of fame, so I have no pity or sympathy for her. She is a stupid, uneducated piece of trailer trash that got famous simply because she *was* hot. She never had talent, class, poise, intelligence, or charm, so now she has nothing to fall back on, and it is quite fascinating and amusing to see someone who once was so beautiful and an idol for millions of girls destroy her life with a neverending string of bad decisions. And about her being a bad parent, most parents DO make mistakes, but they are usually small ones that become a learning experience. Brit, on the other hand, makes BIG, completely retarded mistakes, and never seems to learn anything from them, she just keeps on making them over and over again. And, worst of all, she isn't contented with endangering ONE child, she's gotta do it with TWO! What makes us despise this trailer park trash is that she keeps fucking up, and doesn't even seem to give a damn about it. She seems determined to kill this child, or at the very least, scar it for life (not like she hasn't done enough by giving it her and K-Tard's genes)! She's just a disgusting, sad, pathetic waste of space, as is her sleazy greasebucket husband, and I personally hope that CPS steps in soon and takes that kid (and it's sibling as soon as it's born) and gives it to a deserving, functional family. However, we all know that won't happen, simply because she's a STAR. I mean, Wacko Jacko still has his kids, and he's a CHILD MOLESTER, for god's sake, so I know I'm hoping for too much here. I predict that we'll see little SP and his sister/brother in jail, rehab, or dead by age 21. Great parenting, indeed. Get a fucking clue, and please take your celeb ass-kissing to a site that worships this pile of puke as much as you do.

*To everyone else: Sorry for the extremely long post. If you stuck with it, I do thank you. You guys are great. Seriously.

Oh my God. I knew that post was long, but I didn't realize it was THAT long! I am so sorry! Damn, when I get going, I just can't stop. Curse you, crystal meth!

I love how the ad at the top of my screen was for the National Center for Abused and Exploited Children. The irony gods must be rolling on the floor.

Y'know, Brit, if you have an assistant that apparently walks with you everywhere, why don't you have HIM carry your damn drink?

It took so long to get to the bottom of these comments that I forgot what I was going to say....

http://ultra8201.blogspot.com

Looks like she had a pretty good grip on him - in two frames the kids had just hits the ground.

Although that dude is absolutely the greatest case against moustaches ever.

When are they going to take this child away?

She probably meant she needs a gun because of all the papparazzi's following her, which is probably how she almost tripped as well. I've seen those photographers in action, they're crazy. I feel sorry for Britney.

Come on guys. Leave that poor girl alone. No wonder she's crying. Everyone is watching her every move, criticizing everything she does. She's a first time mother. Do you expect her to know everything about parenting? Give her a fuckin' break. I don't even like Britney, but I feel for her right now. She is doing a lot better than some mothers out there. All mothers make mistakes when it's their first baby. Just leave her the fuck alone!!

This is why I need a gun- the excat same thing I say every time I read posts on here.

Don't foget to get your SPF Bobblehead dolls this weekend at the Mets- Yankees game!

#288-tsarinaamanda-whoa...every word which you wrote is nothing more than a huge, hot, stench of poop tube juice fumes. Bet your undies has a brown racing stripe after that worthless ranting. In fact, everyone who even attempted to read it was not even able to finish reading it because the stench was so awful we were given a choice of passing out from your poop juice fumes, or seeing the light of one more day. Thank God for air masks otherwise I could have been one of your unsuspected victims.

And wtf??? And, worst of all, she isn't "contented" with endangering ONE child...how about you clean the shit out of your mouth the next time you jump on the moralizing band wagon...

She never had talent, class, poise, intelligence, or charm? speak for yourself, because you just showed EVERYONE that you most definitely do not have any of those qualities...good job there saranwrapamanda or whatever the fuck you call yourself...what a fucking loser!!

OMG, I found the site mentioned in Comment 193. I just checked this site out! It's funny as hell. Apparently, the people on this site are sincere, and portions of the proceeds from the t-shirts go to a charity.

You just KNOW Britney's gonna keep screwing up her kids, so these guys will probably be around for quite awhile. Check it out: Save Sean Preston Website

I am not even going to respond to that troll. Why bother, it's the one with the miserable life devoted to a FAKE religion made up by a child-molester. There's nothing I can say or do to top that little fact. I hope Cuntrag is having a grand old time being ripped off by those scammers, I may be a lot of things, but I'm not stupid enough to fall for that bullshit. I don't really feel the need to brag about anything on a fucking website, suffice it to say that I have way more than that twat has, I don't need to lay in my lonely, cookie-crumb filled twin bed in the Scientwatology Center playing with myself to a crumpled pic of TC from US Weekly. Poor thing, it must SUCK to still be a virgin at 40+ years. I'd be willing to bet it's because of the mustache, hairlip, 200 or so extra pounds, and the oozing, tunafish smelling cooch. Poor, fat thing, the next time I see that creepy homeless guy off Route 1, I'll send him her way. Maybe he'll lay her/him/it for a bottle of Tennessee Driver or a 6-pack of Natty Lite. More likely, even HE'D be too grossed out, and this is a man who pisses himself and lives in a culvert. Oh, and one more thing, the whole "loser" comment? That's like the pot (big, fat, stupid brainwashed pot) calling the kettle black. Take a long look in the mirror, THERE'S the REAL loser. God, I hate these stupid-ass trolls.

Oh, one more thing: YOU just demonstrated who the real dumbass is. It doesn't even know what a TSARINA is!!! hint: it's not Saran-Wrap, DUMB-ASS. Read a book sometime, (not a Scientwatology-approved lie) you might just learn something....NAH. Anyone who believes in Xenu, Thetans, and all that other stupid-ass crap is WAY beyond any possible help. Have fun being exploited and ripped off. When I see you in the gutter, I'll be sure to point and laugh. Isn't it about time for you to drink the poisoned Kool-Aid already? Hurry up, everyone hates you.

My oh my ms saranwrapedasshole is abit huffy. did the truth hurt that much? I knew I was on to you but your reaction only confirmed everything I said about you..

Your so lame that you have to put others down to feel important. Go ahead please do say more...show everyone the type of person you are when you are confronted. Show everyone how you try to call people names, and how you put them down...all because you cant handle the truth about yourself...

Like I said..what a fuckin loser!!

i feel bad for her shes just trying the best she can,dont forget that babys father is the biggest loser ever,i will never understand how she ruined her life that way,she must be mentally disturbed thanks to retarded kevin fed.

Oh good lord, the key word here is ALMOST. You know let the first person who is perfect in every single way, cast the first stone, (I dont hear any stones being thrown....) so get over it and get a hobby.

Where's that loser K-Fed?? I think that Brit is just under alot of stress. she has a young baby and another one on the way. not that im making excuses for her doing stupid things like not hooking up the car seat right but still, where's the dad? he's such a loser.

I can not believe that this is such a big deal! she did'nt almost fall. If you saw the video it was more like a 1/2 second trip! She should not be blamed for somethig that obviously did'nt occur!

Hey here's is a big tip. When you are preggers don't wear high heels and pants that are under your feet while carrying a small child. Try getting a pair of pants that fit right and do not drag the ground. High heels are nice but not too practical while running about NY with a small child on your hip. Skip the gun and get a nanny to hold the child if you need to wear clothing like that. And OMG please do not wear a black bra and a napkin as a shirt. Before SP that might have looked good...not now. That ain't country that's trashy.

I believe that Britt is just trying to do whats right for herself and Sean's best interests. The reason she needs a damn gun is because the paparazzi is overbaring and want to critize her every move. WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUDT LEAVE HER ALONE. Britt is a young mother and she is trying to protect her child with everything she has. But the more the publicity the more she is emotionally unwell. I honestly think no one understand whats its like to live with the paparazzi on their every single move and critizing everything that is being done and said about what she does. Britney Spears is a good mom. and she is trying to be the best she can be and People and publicity needs to leave her the hell alone.

Hahaha, this is so funny