May 24 2006Brad Pitt pulls a Britney Spears

What an idiot.

i stand by my previous comment: their baby will either be really good looking or practically deformed.

Anyone who'd leave that hot piece of ass Jennifer Aniston can't be too bright anyway.

Uh oh... Angelina better put him in check.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

Even if Angelina Jolie is amazing looking and a gymnast in bed, is it really worth tagging along with her and her pack of orphans through every third world hellhole on earth? Someday Brad will wake up in a tent somewhere in Africa to a couple of crying kids and an aging Lara Croft and wonder why the fuck he isn't waiting for room service at the Beverly Hills hotel instead.

I understand the helmet, but why does the kid need closed toe shoes?

Anybody who follows Britney's parenting skills, should rot in hell.

I would say he's pulling a Kevin Federline as well. But with more talent.
"Angie, I know you're prego, but carry that kid anyway. And always walk behind me, you know, like they do in Saudi Arabia."
But, either way, helluva hot couple.

i really agree with #5.

uhhh Brad Pitt is a hetard. Im surprised he didnt put her in a pot and cook her.

As quoted in Safe Baby: "Also, Sean Preston should be wearing a helmet 24/7".

At this point, he could leave her to bake in the desert, crack open her head and eat the brains and STILL be a better parent than Shitney.
Look people, they're under a shroud of secrecy in Namibia so that no one can photograph them abusing their kids.

So they string him up for this stuff about Zahara and no one cares that Maddox was riding in the front of the bike? On Brad's erect penis?

I can't wait for the pics of Angie in a dissheveled halter top & thong up to her navel.

Angie hearts Billy Bob.

Hmm nobody was hurt in this story. I think the story might have been called:

BRAD PITT TAKES KID FOR A RIDE ON BYCICLE.

Yawn.

Do they even *have* closed-toe shoes in Namibia?

I think when you live there, you grow skin on your feet that functions as thick sturdy "closed-toe" leather shoes anyhow

i mean really, why is that child even clothed? brangelina have no respect for native Namibian custom, obviously

I just love how pissed they look in this picture.

Hey, at least he wasn't making Maddox pull him around in a rickshaw. "Yah, mule!" *cracks whip*

Damn...the title of this was just a lil misleading!
I was all anxious to read about Brad Pittiful, and how he just broke down into tears at a Zahara restaurant while swatting at flies saying, "I could have had any chick I wanted...now I'm no more than a baby's daddy to a whole fucking country"! All the while George Clooney is in the background at the bar, squeezing two brazilian models asses while watching the new Jennifer Aniston movie saying..."Brad...get over here! You gotta see this movie...it's funny as hell and Jen looks great! Do you still have her number?"

OK...I have a long winded imagination, but that don't mean it can't happen!

#2, I totally agree. this child could be really beautiful, but it could easily go so wrong. Angelina and Brad are good looking in individual ways that only really work on them...if this baby just ends up with all their weird bits it could look like an alien! oh let's hope so! (i am kidding, sort of...i know it is not the baby's fault)
oh yeah, another 'celeb' baby was born recently:
http://celebreligion.com

Why do they need a helmet? They're surrounded by nice soft sand.

Anyway, I've seen two good looking people have ugly kids and I've seen two HEINOUS people have gorgeous kids. You just never know but I'm hoping for a freakshow.

Pitt sucks and I remember reading somewhere that he has BO that is just god-awful.
Jolie is a skanky whore who's lips are fatter than her thighs, just grotesque. Their baby will be one fugly little shit.
Why anybody would leave Jennifer Aniston for a skank who banged Billie Bob and enjoys making out with her brother just mystifies me.
TCLTC.

"Baby Talk"? "A magazine for obsessive/compulsive parents suffering from accute anxiety disorder".

"How to keep your child safely encased in a rubberized foam shell until age 21."
"Top Ten, 'Genius Toys' that encourage strong cognitive development and a rich emotional life."
"100 virulently poisonous chemicals your child shouldn't consume - but you were too stupid to know better."
"Best developmental theories of 2006: how creating a 'dialogue' with Baby nutures the passionate soul of children and their parents!"
"Fire burns and knives are sharp: 100 potentially dangerous things to fret over endlessly to make sure your child grows up hostile and nuerotic."

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie could have a native Nambian baby roasting and everybody would still like them better than Jennifer Anniston. Ah fame, such a faint flicker. Like burning babies. Except not.

I hope the baby is a boy with her big lips. A boy with those lips would make a great drag queen.

That baby will be great looking as long as they can replicate the very effective plastic surgery they both have gotten.

They should set up an escrow fund for the kid that it can use when it gets to be 18 or whatever age they allow people to start getting p-surgery.

You know, not too long ago, kids got to ride bikes without helmets, they got guns for Christmas, and everything wasn't "child-proofed" ... the ones that were stupid enough to die, died. And the world was a better place.

Now that natural selection has come to a screeching halt, I saw we encourage the Britneys and Brads of the world to just keep doin' what they're best at... being self-centered pricks.

I love you, MeanNate.

I heard that Zaharra has "Rickets" ..... Can you die from that ?? SO SAD.

Where did you hear she had rickets?

http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/articles/article.aspx?articleId=323§ionId=9224

I read it on the internet, so who knows how true it is. However, that would explain why she isn't walking yet.

The helmet makes the baby so much heavier, come on, she's on his back, don't you know?!

Oh well, shit happens.

How do you know she is not walking yet?

Big fucking deal. I'm pretty sure falling of a bicycle is better that fighting flies for that last grain of rice Zahara would be looking forward to if she hadn't been adopted. She'd be washing her only shirt in the same river the villagers piss in while dodging crocodiles in 150 degree heat. Let the baby fall, she needs to toughen up anyway if she's gonna to school with rich white kids.

You know what I think is interesting? That everyone assumes this kid is going to be beautiful. Have you seen Brad Pitt's brother? Not all that cute, really. And Angelina came from John Voigt. He's not really all that much too look at either. So just because Brad and Angie are both disgustingly easy on the eyes doesn't mean their kid will be. What if it comes out looking like Angie's brother? *shudder*

Found this online: 16 month-old Zahara Jolie-Pitt suffers from rickets, a bone disorder that she developed while in an Ethopian orphanage. When she came down with a cold, Brad learned that rickets makes her more susceptible to all sorts of diseases that are common in Africa, including malaria and yellow fever. He became concerned for her health and brought her back to the states for medical care. Babies get sick a lot and Zahara will probably be fine, but this reopens the conflict between Angelina and Brad as to where Angelina will give birth.

#36 - I much more like the idea of JV's huge, ugly head on a baby's body. That or a Conan O'Brien If They Mated baby.

That was a Britney-sized mistake, but I'm sure the double standards police won't allow Brad to take the same kind of heat.

that baby is going to be georgeous!!!
and angie is going to be upset because brad is going to make difference between his son and angies adopted kids

who gives a fuck what that pussy does?

he's such a low-life.

that baby is going to be georgeous!!!
and angie is going to be upset because brad is going to make difference between his son and angies adopted kids

#37 I liked Dennis Leary's Christmas special too you theif.

1) Ange looks like a bone-rack Posh Spice.
2) Does she have Zahara strapped on her, overtop of her pregnant belly, while Brad carries nothing?
3) Ange looks like a bone-rack Posh Spice.

I wish my bitch was as hot as Brad.

I will pray for all. Jesus Saves.

People are bitching about Pitt's parenting skills with regards to bicycle safety?? They are raising those kids in Namibia, for Christ's sake. If that isn't a commentary on their parenting skills, I don't know what is. Namibians don't want to live in Namibia, and these two rich fux willingly do? I hope the witch doctor has steady hands when he circumsises baby Muumu-Googanga. I hope a Marxist-led uprising doesn't occur that leads to wholesale slaughter and wanton cannibalism. I hope neither Pitt nor Jolie come down with some incurable, bizarre, freakish ailment that is highly communicable and certainly deadly. I mean, they're in Africa, what's the worst that could happen? The kid falls of his bike and stubs a toe... only to be ravaged by a pack of lions.

That baby will look like a sack of shit.

And even if it doesn't, it still will be a fucked up mess. That kid will be making out with Zahara and Maddox at some club in 16 years.

I'm in a pissy mood because my coworker is eating stinky left-over goulash and slopping it around with her mouth open.

I feel like kicking someone in the cunt.

48 you should go microwave some stinky leftover fish. Nothing worse than stinky leftover fish.

Okay, here is her brother James (Jamie) when they were kids:

http://www.angelfire.com/celeb/jameshavenvoight/james_superman.jpg

here is her brother now (his eyes are as big as her lips):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Haven

Doug Pitt is second from the bottom on this site - but also notice on your scrolldown the nice romantic lip lock between Angelina and her brother.

http://www.thephatphree.com/Features.asp?SectionID=3&StoryID=1662&LayoutType=1

Pinky....make a face like you smell something really bad and go, 'WHAT'S THAT SMELL' and then look directly at her twat.

I really don't see big deal about this. He's riding around on a bike in the desert, not the middle of Manhattan. Bicycle, people, not motor bike. Nobody wore helmets when I was a kid, so I never really have gotten the helmet thing anyway.

Enough with all the "baby safety" crap. Ninety percent of the people on the planet don't use or have access to all the crap people in this country use to secure their hellspawn, and you know what? Their children somehow survive.

Helmet and close toed shoes...fucking ridiculous.

SMASH!!

Zanna~

That second picture of him is freaking me out. Those eyes! He looks like some creature in a low-budget Sci-Fi channel movie.

P.S. Incest is best.

here's a XMas card photo of Angie and her brother:

http://www.thephatphree.com/_photos/502/2_31.jpg

Maybe Angie thinks that it's not really incest if your brother is gay.

Dropping your baby on his head and then trying to juggle him with a styrofoam cup full of vodka and then threatening to shoot him is not the same as safely securing your baby to your back with Nambian-woven cloths (which are the strongest in the world - made from %100 Cherokee hair). I say Brad beats Britney again, just like last year's celebrity strip MahJong tournament, which was on pay-per-view.

Let's see, Brad Pitt is fathering a biological kid with Angelina and he's adopted her foundlings, which means that after the inevitable breakup, he's going to be paying big, big bucks in child support.

We already know that Pitt bails when things get rough, and the average lifespan of a Hollywood relationship is a year at best. I hope Pitt can still get acting jobs, he's going to need a steady stream of cash.

www.mrnumerology.com/celebrities.htm

The kid is going to be a stunningly beautiful hermaphrodite who, being unable to find any other human anywhere close to good looking enough to have sex with, will screw itself until it disappears up its own asshole.

i really hope that the kid turns out to be ugly. i just want it to end up with all he odd features these two have, in a really weird combination... otherwise i think the world has really serious threat facing it... a child that can blind people with its beauty.
http://celebreligion.com

She acts like she's roughing it in Africa, yet she has an OB traveling with her.

I am so sick of these two morons...she's always been weird but I used to actually think he was a cool guy. Why must he be a turn into whomever he dates?! Grow some balls!

At the top of the page in the ad section it says: "Britney's Fat-Loss Secret
How Britney lost her extra weight. And how you can too! Her secret."

Who the fuck are they talking about?! Certainly not the queen of all cheetos.

why does this site suck so much lately? they only post new stories in groups now? wtf??

Good Freaking Grief! How many of us were trussed up and covered in pads and helmets when we were riding bikes????? Wow - what fun. Let's go to a country that has a heat index of probably about 5,000 in a scrub brush shade, slap a helmet and closed toe shoe son, maybe some knee pads, elbow pads, long sleeves and long pant son - but hey! The heat stroke is nothing compared to the danger of riding a freaking bike without a helmet!!!

Now - back to making fun of Britney..........

ANGELINA: I want to give birth in Namibia.
BRAD: Why, my love?
ANGELINA: Because then, technically, our child will be African-American. And that means lots of college scholarships.
BRAD: I love it when you cheat the system.

Brad Pitt strikes me as being a huge bore. That's probably why he morphs into whoever he's with, he has no personality of his own.

I don't know why anyone feels bad for Jennifer Anston, dating Vince Vaughn must be alot more fun then dating/being married to Brad Pitt.

Speaking of good looking people having ugly children, have you seen Bruce Willis and Demi Moore older daughter? She really got the weirdest parts of both parents

Pinky~

Wanna pretend your my sister?

@68 - good point. Rumor is better looking than Scout though.

http://tv.zap2it.com/photos/index/0,1237,zp_fromThumb%7C92273%7C94818,00.html

64 I KNOW!

68 I KNOW!! The cutest is Tallulah.

Funny-- I thought the heading was referring to Brad's hat. I would swear that Britney was wearing that hat in one of her videos...

59 M@ce....Holy shit, that ruled!

People are so over protective, the playground in my elementary school was 3/4" gravel and cactus, and we played tackle football everyday. Buncha pussies getting more and more sissified everyday. Scabs, whiskey and broken bones are good for kids. Look how awesome I turned out.

My parents originally tried to raise me African but I kept chocking on the chicken bones so they decided it would be better to raise me Catholic.......Lets just say that priest deserved to be shot, there's nothing in the bible about touching my sausage.......

I seriously bet the kid ends up looking like Angie's brother. Eww!

Guess whose bored today (that'd be me).

A link to what celebrities babies would look like. WARNING: The Heidi Klum/Seal hybrid is particularly distrubring.

http://www.handbag.com/galleries/gallery/gossip/celebrity_lives/family_offspring/

Stallion;

What about that passage where dude gets eaten by the whale...I always thought that was an analogy that allowed priests to feel little boys. Cause gay whales will attack a submaringe to suck out all the sea-men.

M@ce, you make me hot when you speak like a normal person.

And I agree, not having a helmet on a kid on a bicycle is NOT the same thing as driving around L.A. (Malibu?) with a baby on your lap.

Brad used to be semi-cool, and Angie, though beautiful, is a fucking freakshow.

Tranny Granny, where in CO are you from? Perhaps we are neighbors?

Saucie,

I live in the mountains outside Boulder. Howza bout u?

Tranny - Monument, across from the Air Force Academy.

they have the internet in boulder? you guys have indoor plumbing too?

Seriously, do you people think Angelina is hot? Even before she got knocked up and huge? I've always thought she was freaky-looking with those twig-like arms & legs and ballons glued to her face where lips should be. I just don't get it.

Fisher....I don't live in Boulder, I'm about 30 miles west, the town is so small no one has heard of it. And I live way the fuck back in the woods from there. Boulder has more millionaires per capita than anywhere. And, funnily enough, I lived for the first year without running water or indoor plumbing.

@77 make Stallion laugh....M@CE probably want to SMASH submaringe though........

Saucie;

Where is your pass at? I missed getting the Co pass last year (in Miami for work) so I went to Eldora all season. Can't wait to tear up Keystone again this year!

Tranny, alas, I do not ski. My recreational sport of choice is motorcross trail riding. Have 2 kids and hubby who is triathlete so we have to choose wisely. Although I watched the Olympic snowboard cross and thought it looked like ass-kicking fun.

I wish I was cool and lived in Colorado.

Zanna.. hello sis.

#71 - By cutest you mean least ugly of the bunch, right? Even with the money and priviledge (sp? I don't give a shit today), I can't pick one of them that I would like to be. Speaking of If They Mated...

#85 - Submaringe or sub-minge? I would think that on a hermaphrodite, the sub-minge is the micropenis.

I thought Minge was one of Madonna's nicknames.

Saucie;

I'm getting a motorcycle when I get home, awesome riding right out my back door.

Jacq; I can't spell! but I love what you did with sub-minge

89 yes exactly! I give Ashton 5 years before he hits it.

I must say it is the most fun you can have with all your clothes on.

Oh, great. I'm being moderated again...

Jacq, either I'm an idiot, or Tranny is (no offense bitch) , because I thought he was trying to say Submarine and accidentally hit a "g" too, but if he was being funny with the Sub-minge then I'm the Idiot because I don't even know what the hell that is. Maybe I should ask CruisingForCock, she's obviously an expert on cock's or perhaps you can explain it............

#95 - Let me clear this up. You're an idiot. But only for thinking that anyone on the face of the planet know more about the penis than myself. But that's ok, cause I love you.
Tell me though, how big are your fingers (the both of yous) that you accidentally hit the n & the g at the same time? I'm intrigued... Er, wait, Tranny are you still typing with your tongue?

#92 - Totally Woody and Soon-Yi.

Saucie; Ride naked, but wear a brain-bucket

Stallion: No offense...I got all my rabidly lashing out of my system last night. Tsaramanda's ass probably still hurts. (I'm willing to love you today, girl)
Where was I, Typo with the G on my end. Minge is another glorious word for pussy, cunt, vagina, pink, taco, coochie, flower...shit, am I out of synonyms already

twat

snatch
quim
beaver

well, this is just a piece of the cunt:

beef curtains

venus flytrap

#20 & #21 Yes I know what you mean...everyone thought that Demi Moore and Bruce Willis' kids would be great looking...no luck there..not even one out of 3 look normal...

Awesome! and I just remembered my favorite: Cooze. Man, that just doesn't come up in conversation enough.

Jacq; The hands are decent sized, I really am 6'2". Now, penis expert I need you to look at mine...closer....closer

#83...yes I agree, strange looking.....even when she's smiling she looks like she's frowning...kinda like nicole kidman.

vajayjay.

Puchana
Hujay
Yoni
Funbox

cootchie-pop
peaches

Does anyone know how old Zahara is?? Seems like she's had it forever and is ALWAYS toting it around...it doesn't look like it's growing at all...I think they carry it around wayyyyy to much! That kid will never learn to walk!

special purpose

For all you losers and middle school students out there that is a reference to the movie the Jerk starring Steve Martin. Rent it and learn.

poonany, gash, box

I like to call my cunt "the velvet tunnel of love". And its motto is "once you visit, you'll never want to leave".

I say, as an aspiring Celebrity Commentator, that there must be love between these two, because looks alone can only last about a couple months, Tops. And how is she holding that baby on top of that other baby? Are pregnant women's stomach's like turtle shells? That'd be like the ultimate defense. 9 months of neigh-invulnerability. I'd be pregnant forever!

Pinky, you may not live in CO, but you're still cool.

Hatchet Wound
Gash
Cockholster (although more often used for mouth)

Saucie; I say we make her an honorary member *sprinkles granola*

Dinner!

Tranny: Only 6'2"? Shrimp. :) 6'8" here. Woo hoo!

bacon strip

Saucie & Tranny; you da bomb.

I go well with merlot.

why not just call it "pussy", sounds more delicious

Jacq: I know your bacon strip sizzles.

#115 Okay, Tranny. *splash of Fat Tire*

Blister Box

oh wait, that just applies to Paris.

Pinky, you are now an official member of the CO kool kid klub. Be sure to eat your granola, drink your Fat Tire and drive your car on the highway like an absolute asshole. Welcome!

Tranny, are you typing with your penis? My mind is racing. I so look forward to talking with you here everyday.

All of you tall boys stop it before you get me all excited and I slip off of my chair. I already had to have Stanley Steemer come here to clean it once.

#109 - That movie is awesome! Come on, shithead! You mean I'm not black?!

#125 I know we've only known each other 4 weeks and 3 days, but to me it seems like 9 weeks and 5 days.

#121 - TSSSSSSSS! Don't cook bacon naked!

#126 - LOL - SOM

Tall guys give me trouble. I'm barely over five feet tall and I've had to experiment with tons of new positions(besides the obvious options) to deal with the height differences...

However, I do get to feeling all safe and feminine when I'm standing next to a damn mountain...

@124: Thanks! I'm blushing with anticipation of telling folks I'm actually from Colorado.

Instead, I have the distinct "honor" of residing in Katie Holmes hometown. No shit. Her parents live a 1/2 mile from me.

P.S. Hope that doesn't effect my cool factor.

Fa Cube: 6'8"? My old roomate was that big, and he drove the tiniest truck, funny shit. Like a clown at the circus.
Saucie, just remembered Hey, Coors drinkers: I live at the top of the watershed that produces the delicious Rocky Mountain Beverage, and everytime I get home from travelling, I go piss in Clear Creek. Just can't help myself.

Sooo, that's why Coors tastes like piss!!

Ari; had a girlfriend that was 4'11" once, I could pick her up with one hand. Short, bendy chicks rule!

Pinky; That is so bizarre that her parents live by you. I could send you pics of your new state, it's pretty awesome. Although Saucie is right about the drivers. Considering we have a shitload of 12,000 foot plus passes, and they don't have guardrails, you'd figure the drivers would be better.

Jacq; and to I used to think you were a guy, you sexy bitch. tyght defefe juik....nope, can't type with the penis, though.

Tranny--
I've gotten to where I really like guys that can toss me around like a ragdoll, so.. yeah, being small can be fun.

the vag thread

Yeah, I couldn't pick them out of a crowd of one, but everyone knows where they live. You should see how fucking excited the fucktard local newscasters get if they think her and tom will be in town. They act like they're going to be shopping at our local mall.

Oh yeah, an even bigger celeb from Toledo... Jamie Farr. What a fucking fag. Throws a big LPGA outing here every year. Lesbians as far as the eye can see.

speaking of beef curtains, how bout that steak ad up there...yum

Tranny:

I don't believe that cooze directly applies to describing female genitalia. Rather, I think it is used to describe what comes out of the female genitals.

For example:

Cunt + Ooze = Cunt Ooze = Cooze

Furry vertical burrito
Bearded clam
Camel toe

And a whole bunch more here: http://www.starma.com/penis/muffy/muffy.html

smells like "pussyfart" in here...

And are you diggin' it?

the "o" superhighway

I enjoy experimenting what can fit in the Velvet Tunnel of Love. Last week it was a banana, Papa's cock, my tongue and Osh's thumb, which was dipped in peanut butter, ALL AT THE SAME TIME...

Tomorrow, I thought I'd try my foot, Tranny's balls and some chocolate syrup.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I just love the word "cunt."

CUNT!

Cu cu cu Cunt!

I love the word, and I love them. Cunts are wonderful, beautiful things, especially when they're shaved.

Thanks krisdylee. If your tunnel was a cottage I'd rent it for the summer.

krisdylee:

You let your dad fuck you? That's kinda creepy. Oh, were you talking about PapahotNuts?

Well, that's still creepy.

BigJim, I like the Southern Smile the best. I'm grinning like crazy right about now.

BigJim, you're not jealous that I didn't mention you, right? Cuz I ain't sharing you with any of the whores around here. Your cock is mine.

Then I hope you never find out about me and Zanna.

Isn't it about time for some asshat to wander in here and berate everybody for being off topic?

If you're talking about pussy or nailing hot chicks, you're never off topic.

Off topic is what I love about the SF. So fuck all of you who don't like it.

BigJim, I feel angst between us, and I'd much rather feel your balls on my chin.

BigJim;
I prefer Shaven, not Furred as well

Kris; How did you know by balls are always covered in choc syrip, just in case?

Pinky Isn't J Farr the dude who played Klinger on MASH?

Shaved is the best, as long as the guy shaves as well.

#134 - I can be whatever you want *wink wink*. I'm actually a chick - a cool as shit slutty chick.

Slutty chicks Rule!!! We've been wasting time!

I finally feel at home, surrounded by slutty chicks and horny guys. I was always picked on for being provacawhorishly slutty. I'm *sniff* just so glad....

Me so horny. Me love you long time.

And by long, I mean loooonnngg.

krisdylee's clap could turn off the lights.

who the fuck are you?

Have you guys heard Buck Cherry's new song, "Crazy Bitch" It makes me think of all the delightful young ladies of the Superfish.
Some lyrics: "You, you're a crazy bitch, but you fuck so good I'm on top of it, I dream of fucking you all night long" etc.
It's the mood music I'm gonna put on for the next chick drunk enough to come home with me.

Seriously, Tranny, that's me and my hubby's theme song.

The voice of experience, that's who.

perhaps you'd like to experience my foot up your fat ass then.

Honeypot!

I wouldn't like it. My ass isn't as loose as yours.

Kris; by the voice of experience, he means he has gotten the clap more than once, just not smart enough to wrap the willy up before banging a $20 street whore. (that's about 18, Canadian) But hey, when you look like a festering pile of rat feces, who else will fuck you?

Feed Me, I love honey

Prepare for a Superfish smackdown. My money is on Krisdylee.

You know, the "O" superhighway is sometimes a toll road.

Mine too, Saucie

You probably would, Tranny. Who knows what you have.

I'll give you the hive.

I am pretty sure that when Krisdylee is done smokey is going to be wishing he'd agreed to the foot up his ass instead.

I suggest shutting the fuck up, smokey, before the curse of sherry-co and HWMNBN falls upon your pimply head.

there's nuttin' better in life than pussy, beer and sports...

lick it, kiss it, drink it, watch it, poke it, it's all good!!!

Woo-hoo! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Tranny--it's especially good slathered on my perky nipples.

*sniff*

anyone smell that?

oh, it's smokey's ass, pre-kicked by me.

Smokey will give Tranny the hive, but ONLY after he has had his way with it.

Hey, look on the bright side--the bee stings will make your cock look bigger.

Krisdylee also gets an A++ for the word provacawhorishly today. MLAB

He's never one to pass up an obliging hole.

That whole 'voice of experience' thing makes me think of the disembodied "wizard" voice from Wizard of Oz.

I can see a little nervous man hiding in the curtains...

Sshh, everyone, I can hear whimpering. C'mon, smokey, c'mon out, that's a good boy. aaww, he looks like a puppy that's been smacked one too many times. An ugly puppy, a smelly puppy, a puppy with no friends. I don't usually like to kick puppies though.

What the fuck...

*kick*

Somebody move that brown thing on Angie's chest, I can't see her tits..

BTW, thanks, Saucie. I do love that word.

all this cunty talk.

had to be on the same day my secretary calls in sick... fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck,

I thought he said he wanted to give me HIV? Sorry bud, don't swing that way. I'm more of a wanna toss Ari, lick some honey, dip my balls in chocalate kinda guy. Saucie, you may consider yourself visually violated as well.

Krisdylee, he's gone to go change into his OTHER Kling-on costume, since he just shat himself. Darn those dry-cleaning bills!

Ari, Saucie; It's always a toll road one way or another, but the price seems reasonable to me!

back to the business at hand...

why in hell is angelina wearin' a black shirt and jeans, isn't africa like a thousand degrees over there?

I never did find Brad Pitt attractive. But for some strange reason, I fucked Steve Carrel in my dream the other night. Weird.

Am I the only one who's noticed that this is an OLD picture? She's not pregnant, at least not long pregnant, here. If it was a recent pic, Zahara would be angled over her belly like an awning on a bulding.
(ok, it makes sense to me...)

Oh Kris and Tranny, you're the pitchers in the chain gang, aren't you? You should all be bestsellers with that kind of diction rather than being the best at selling your bodies.

Hard to contend nepostism. But twas a cheap thrill.

Sorry, nepotism without the first "s", beat you to it.

Polesmokey
That post didn't make a damn bit of sense. Nepotism means favoring relatives or personal friends because of their relationship rather than because of their abilities. Try memorizing another big word and using that one in context. Oh, I only argue with people whose comebacks I find amusing (BigJim, that's why I like fucking with you) bummer for you, fucktard

Bigponie...the black shirt is camoflage...

The member from the great state of Pennsylvania rises in support of the honeypot.

if that's camoflage, then let's not tell the boys in DC about it, they might mass produce it.

It's obvious you're all very much in a relationship, Tranny. As my boy Sly likes to say, "It's a family affair."

If you think my use of nepotism was a big word out of context, I can give you another big word that most certainly is not and is befitting for my current perception: schadenfreude.

Now hush.

All of this overprotective child coddling is a bit much. Plus, I don't think this kid is going to be all that hot. Regression to the mean is a cruel thing.

smokey--
Who the hell are you, why are you here with an axe to grind and who the fuck pissed in your cheerios?

Granted, I'm fairly new here, but what the hell is wrong with you?

Oh, never mind. I just realized I don't care.

129: Ari, for you, I'll be 4'32". :) Better?

Okay, everyone knows my thoughts on this topic: Brad needed babies so he went to someone (Not Jennifer Aniston) who wanted to give him babies.

Angelina is a homewrecker. I think that she may have seduced him and knew what he wanted. She is weird, and I don't think she's that pretty to begin with. Okay, sure, I guess she had a nice body, but her face was weird and her hair black and stringey.

This topic, however, really makes me mad. How could he endanger his baby like that? Some people don't have sence!

He does not, however, even begin to pull a Brtiney. Britney endangers her childrenOVER AND OVER again and nothing happens. Nthing will happen to her unless soemthing really bad happens when she inflicts her stupidity on her babies. She needs to be stopped.

Well, I am bananas and that's what I think.

Eh, I guess you're right, Ari...bad day.

Or, maybe he's just too poor to buy something safe for his kids.

Fa Cube--
Nah, just be your giant self. We'll work out the details... *wink* I'll just wear the really high heels. They might bring me up to all of about 5'6" or so. :)

Schadenfreude gives me the warm fuzzies...

hmmm well if I remember chemistry right, two + make a negative and two negatives make a positive.

That baby is screwed unless it gets the recessive john voight/pitt brother gene

I get all schadenfreuded when I watch videos of skater punks trying to ride some rail, then they totally wipe out and bag themselves back to the stone age.

Seeing skateboarders put their reproductive capabilities into jeopardy is a good thing for humanity.

Now if polesmokey would just do the same thing.

Darwin rules!

How are you feelin' about the Oil, BigJim?

It also sucks when people who don't have any sense can't spell, either.

I don't have any Sinse, and man do I wanna get lit.

guys, my left eye is twitching after reading you-know-who's you-know-what. I swear to Zanna I'd like to kick you-know-who in the cunt. I always knew that fruit gave me gas.

for some reason, when I picture smokey, an image of Jon Lovitz pops into my head.

#214
You mean when the cunt let fly a qweef?(sp?)

#215
As the really bad wedding singer.

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH YOU GUYS???????
KRISDYLEE/TRANNY/ETC. I DON'T THINK ANY OF YOU ARE 15, SO WHY DON'T YOU ALL GROW UP AND STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE? Swearing is fine, F-U-C-K, it gets your point across.....but who besides the 3 or 4 of you want to hear about your tits, your balls, your cunt, your sexual peccadillo's, yada,yada. If you think its funny to most of us you are wrong, why not just go to a porn site and chat to each other there? Jesus, the name Brandon potty mouth Davis rings a bell, why not chat to him about it all?

Wait till Bradd Pitt pulls a Woody Allen and leaves Angelina for Zahara in about 16 years...that would be perfect karma

Fuck you Getitstraight, come over here and suck my clit while I fart in your face, you fucking idiot.

hehehe Getitstraights name has the word "tits" right in the middle, hehehehe

yeah Getitstraight ..im totally with you..they all sound so desperate, i bet they are grotesque and about 500 lbs with gooy caked on food hanging from their fingertips and all over the keyboard..and when they read some of the nasty shit someone sends to them, a smile comes over their pus filled face and boogers fall into their mouths as they try to hold their laughter in...So you see, all they can do is talk about their private parts because it's obvious they aint seeing no action...

YOU are the fucking idiot, and your comment was spoken like the trash mouth you are. Krisdtlee B. DAVIS. NO ONE BUT A SLUT USES THE "C" WORD AS MUCH AS YOU DO. PISS OFF, i AM IGNORING YOU FROM NOW ON.

Yeah, I saw Krisdylee's ugly mug on grossmeout.com she was the fat, ugly chick with her face upside in a port-a-potty licking her lips of diarrhea at the truck stop on I-10...really gross bitch that one is..

another fuck you to you getit...there is nothing better for this divorced white boy than watching hot dykes go at it on the fish when the topics have been so lame because they are more worried about who says what than good stories...why don't you stick your head up smokey's ass and give us a report...by the way...i picture smokey as a pre-op star jones...

Spitfire;

Congratulations, I fucking laughed hard at that. Nice one!

yo, tits....It will be nice not to hear your insignificant comments while the rest of us have fun, thank you. Please ignore me as well.

cunt clit cunt clit cunt clit cunt cunt clit clit...sounds like jealous bitches

I am 5 feet tall and I weigh 100 pounds. I wear a size 0. Dark brown hair, brown eyes. Olive skin..

I'm not sure what Krisdylee's stats are but I'm sure she is hotter and more entertaining than 122 or 123.

It's funny how people are running with this "perfect genes" bullshit. Angie and Brad are good looking, sure, but, perfect?!?! I think not.
Angie has done a great job of marketing a certain "mystique" but she's a total wacko (isn't madness hereditary?) and she hasn't always looked like Lara Croft AND she has a flat ass, and Brad, well he's Brad Pitt, but he's not winning any spelling bee's anytime soon. Genetic perfection would require the total package and here we don't even have half.

Christ I meant 222 or 223!

hey spit-don't-swallow...i could give two shits and a fuck what kris looks like...it's all theatre of the mind my brotha...keep it up ladies...

Oh and #27, your post was awesome, awesome TO THE MAX.

Godlike even.

207:

Ari - I guess we could do a pretty mean impression of one of those old "Water Rocket" toys! ;-)

Speaking of which, I actually saw a kid playing with one on the beach a while back. His dad showed him how to pump it up and then the kid promptly shot himself in the face. Dad just stood there with the perfect "Oh Christ, my kid's an effin' moron!" look.

227: Are you Nicole Richie???

No, wait. You can't be. You said 100lbs and Size 0, not 25 lbs and Size -5.

Olive skin eh? I just happen to have a tub filled with Gin and Vermouth....

231: Nice "That Guy" reference to the 80's guy with boneitis.

Cruising; Have we fucked? Cause I swear that description matches this smokin hot babe I nailed in Miami last year.

Damn you Slim, for making me scroll back that far....shit I can't wait to get home where I may have a life! Refer to 73 for my views on the subject.

Fa Cube;
I lost my midget, will you look under your nuts for him?

Hehehe, fuck, I had to read the whole thread since I couldn't log in all day.

That was my favorite Futaurame episode 'Cube

*Futurama*

Tranny, If you had fucked me - we would still be fucking now. It's that good.

Fa Cube...licking my lips with anticipation

ok CruisingForCock so you're the typical mexican ho..good for you..and you're illiterate ass WOULD find Krisdycreams' fat ass comments more entertaining..you don't know any better...so get back to making those burritos.

Shitfire...give up while you were ahead, micro-brain. Cock is gonna kill you.

Cruising: willing to be persuaded, but I'm a tough sell.

240 ITALIAN NOT MEXICAN. SO I'LL GET BACK TO MAKING THAT PASTA.

HOW AM I ILLITERATE? I MANAGED TO READ YOUR COMMENTS JUST FINE...

237: Yeah, that one was one of the best.

"Shalom free food, Shalom hunger."

I think the "Amazon Women In The Mood" was probably mine. Anything with Zapp is good; Lrrr, too.

Crusing: You're in the L.A. area, right? Ever been to Alejo's? Cuban family that cooks some of the best Italian I've ever had, although there are quite a few good places out here. Frito Misto in Santa Monica rocks, too.

I JUST JERKED OFF IN ANGELINA JOLIES' LIBTURD SALAD!!!!!!

.
.
....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`•¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'.~..../
..........''...\.......... _.•´
............\..............(
..............\.............\..
LIBATARDS!!!

Spitfire, your mama taught me all I know.

245 No baby, I'm in Baltimore. I've give you the best Italian ever.

Cruising, I'm 5'8", blonde, blue-eyed, and 135 pounds. And I am actually telling the truth. I am a hot Milf, and Getitistraight can kiss my hot ass.

ok, the wop count is up to 3, Stallion, Cruising and me. Cruising, which food region ya'll from?

S-fire' You know that a burrito means baby donkey, and actually isn't a food product in Mexico, right? At least continue to amuse me, rather than showing ignorance of actual culture. Since, ya'll so litterat an shit....

Sheesh, that guy must single-handedly keep Jergen's in business.

HA! a "single-handed" reference in a masturbation joke. I kill me.

I am Italian in my heart, spent some time in Firenze with friends, Roma, Venezia, Siena, I love all things Italian.

250: Predominantly nordic/celtic ancestors, but I do have some Sicilian blood. Guess I'm a Wop-sicle.

Heh - Ever heard an Italian tire? When dago flat, dago "wop wop wop wop". :) All-time fave Italian joke.

249 I couldn't want you more.

Did I mention that I have a great ass?

250 Napoli. How about you?

Cruising: Baltimore? I'll be your McNulty.

Bring it on 255. I like delivery. You know, they come to house, not a lot of talk, fuck like crazy and then they leave. Can you hang?

I don't have big boobs. Nice perky B cup. The ass makes up for it.

252 You know why I love you? Because you said Roma not Rome and Venezia, not Venice.

Damn, I was missing the WOP thread.....

@240 What the fuck is wrong with you? I have Olive skin am I a Mexican. Shit, I need to change my screen name to "Mexican John Deere" and get back to cutting. Don't fuck with my Italian friends bitch. You have to be a girl the way your jealousy is showing. And only the ugly ones get mad when other chicks are talking about getting the dick and their not. Your probably butt ugly too.......I don't think I'd fuck you so I can't help you out there, but I sure as hell will SPITFIRE 7 pearl necklaces at you to make you feel wanted............

Stallion, the sausage was awesome.

Cruising: Then I can show you the one magic trick I know - I come by night and disappear by morning. :)

IMHO, B's are the perfect size, although C is a close second. Not that I mind any size within reason.

TrannyGranny ...you fucking idiot...i didn't say her ass was in Mexico..obviously she's here in the US and her illegal ass is making burritos!!! They sell them everyday at taco bell bitch! Go sniff a fart out of that ugly italiano or mexicano what the fuck ever that trashy bitch said to do to her...oh, wait, she said suck her lit while she farts in someones face..yeah that was it...and by the way...my best friend is 5ft 4, 110 pds..and she wears a size 0..so if CRUISINGFORCOCK is 100 pds and 5ft even..she aint wearing no size zero unless the baggy look is in or that bitch is outta shape

Christ, I knew someone would come in here and bitch about us being off-topic, as if we could come up with 259 comments on Brad Pitt's failure to dress a kid in closed-toe shoes to go bike riding.

Why does this person think only sluts would use the word cunt? I'm female, and proud of my body, my CUNT is a part of that body which gives me and my partner tremendous pleasure. It's fabulous, it's natural, and what the hell is wrong with using THAT word for it? It's just a damn word. If it bugs you so much, use one of the other terms we listed already.

Or just get over yourself.

Hey, Cruising, know what I hate? When people say EYEtalian, or MIKEelangelo. Even though I'm mainly from Irish ancestry, (which explains my love of the drink), Italians have it going on. Hmm.. where else did I go? Napoli, I went there, Capri, beautiful, Milano, but mostly Firenze. Italian chicks drive me crazy.... sure wish I had a bi-experience there.

261 You're amusing. And I'm not lying about my height, weight or the fact that I wear I size 0. Your jealousy made you respond and I love that about you.

263: The Unofficial Irish National Anthem (to the traditional jig):

Well, we drink and we fight
and we drink and we fight
and we drink and we fight
and we drink and we fight
and we drink and we fight
and we drink and we fight
and then we go home to our wives.

Then we drink and we fight
and we drink and we fight
and we drink and we fight
and we drink and we fight
and we drink and we fight
and we drink and we fight
until someone calls the police.

Then we beat up the cops
and get thrown in the jail
and we beat up the toughest
guy in the cell
then our wives come
and bring us our bail
and we all go to church in the mornin'.

trannygranny, if all COCK can do is talk about cunts and farts...lol what the hell am i supposed to be scared of??? She's gonna kill me? Right... I know if smells could travel through fiber optics..you may have a point...but as i see it...she can't do jack shit no matter how much she farts...damn, actually i think i am starting to smell something

Dammit, Fa Cube, now I want a drink.

Oh, and water rocket, huh? You're on.
That waist length hair of mine adds a little special something when I'm up top.

Guess that makes me a slut? If it does, then I say I'm in good company.

Seriously 266. Read back through. I never once mentioned farts. I did say clit and cunt several times. Go ahead. Read.

Nope, the fart comment was from krisdylee. Pay attention.

Fa Cube - I'm all yours. Tuck me in, baby.

Thank you, Ari. You're my new bitch. I like you.

Oh..yeah Cock you're right..you didn't say that about the farts..that was KrispyCreamdylee...cunt, fuck, cock, farts..all starting to run together

Cruising, I'm honored.

Tranny--if you want to throw me around, start by throwing me up against a wall hard enough to crack the plaster, then pound away til I can't walk or sit for a few days. Bite marks and hickeys preferred but not required.

And you guys are making me feel like a cow at a size 4.

You all are so dirty.
I love it here.
Reading the comments is as good as reading the actual post sometimes. I just had to get involved, this place is a magnet for dirty, sarcastic bitches.
Finally, I have a home.

farts are funny. especially from my ass onto spitfire's fat ugly face.

welcome fifi, you are truly welcome.

Heh- "Clit & Cunt" sounds like a fairly prestigious law firm. Would love to see their ads.

I think my ex hired Clit & Cunt to represent him during our divorce. Worked beautifully... it was only my pity that kept his ass out of jail.

Ari: Waist length hair?? Damn - suddenly picturing a reverse cowboy with a waterfall effect. *Sam Cassell's face; Sam Cassell's face; Sam Cassell's face* Ok, image gone. I can concentrate again. :)

Cruising: Aww, if I tuck you in, what we will do with all this cornstarch I brought??

I do have a cowboy hat... if that helps...

And, I think the hair probably feels much better brushing across your thighs than *nearly* anywhere else.

farts are funny. especially from my ass onto spitfire's fat ugly face...

as greasy, smelly, KrispyCreamDYLEE scratches one more bloody pimple on her ass...opps..theres another stain on the rickety old chair that's sweating nuts and bolts trying to hold her fat magget ass up...worms continue to crawl out of ass right in to wet, moldy smelling of death TWAT...she barely feels the wiggle of the 50 or so pin worms finding their way through to the stench that they think is her shit hole...

Ari: So pity stayed your hand? As in it's a pity you ran out of ammo? Heh, know the feeling. Was engaged once, then came home early one day and found out that I was no longer necessary in that relationship. Funny thing is, heard from a friend that she's now living in a trailer park in South Georgia. Can't really stay mad anymore - I'm pretty sure I won.

Ari: A cowboy hat? Giddyup! Hmm. Hair could be tugged on like reins..... *thinking*

http://lulop.com/player.php/6326/01

Fa Cube-- you know those things judges like to issue called 'court orders?' He ignored every single one of them. EVERY ONE. Repeatedly. After multiple warnings.

Me and the kids are halfway across the country and are busy pretending their dad doesn't exist.

Did I mention he got abusive to the kids after we split? Yeah...so it was either move hell and gone away from him, or kill him myself. Judge Steinberg made it easy on me.

Fa Cube, you just switched positions on me, didn't you? You gotta tell a girl when you're about to do that kind of thing!

Ari: yeah, ignoring court orders is usually a less-than-shrewd tactic, but it does earn you some nice guest privileges with the County. Oh, and the occasional human booster shot if he's a small guy.

Sorry to hear he got nasty with the kids. Never a good thing.

But I thought surprises were a good thing! ;-)

I like KrispyCremeDylee. Thanks, I'm keepin' it.

Love it Spitfire.. Keep it up.

Truly, your moronic ramblings amuse me.

Fifi, we love the nasty here. Welcome.

Ari 272 made me all slippery.

Fa Cube We'll think of something to do with all that cornstarch.

Calling the judge a stupid bitch as you walk out of the courtroom isn't so wise either.

He's not a small guy, 6'4", so...lol, I don't know how he would have done in jail. The threat was enough for him to take just about any 'offer' I gave him though. He still blames me for it all, like I prevented him from following court orders somehow.

Enough of this! We've all moved on. :)

A VERY BIG THANK YOU TO ZANNA.

Heh, I had one case where the other lawyer got the judge so mad that he actually called the guy a cocksucker on the record. Needless to say, he had to recuse himself after that, but it was damn funny.

Surprises can be good...hot, wet surprises can be very good...

I swear, I'm going to have the most wicked dreams tonight.

Krisdylee, Capri is awesome. I used to spend my summers in Napoli when I was a teenager. We went to the most beautiful beach in Capri. Diving off rocks into that clear blue water. Such an experience. I have a bunch of wops coming in June for a visit.

Cruising, glad I could..err... help?

Zanna, you rock!

A humble contribution....

http://www.vidilife.com/index.cfm?f=media.play&vchrMediaProgramIDCryp=40DA47A1-6174-4647-AEE8-6

Fairly tame, but not bad.

Fa Cube, 294, the judge lost it? Holy shit, I bet that was hilarious!

the "hot" "wet" turd on your forehead was indeed a surprise Ari, secreted from KrispyCreamDylee's tired stretched out asshole...wicked dreams indeed!

Spitfire, why aren't you funny?

Oh, Spitfire, honey. If you don't like it here, why do you stay?

We're all having good, dirty fun, so what's your issue? You hate us all, ok, fine. Point taken.

I don't CARE, and neither does anyone else.

Oh, you know what? You should go find Edna and ask her to pray for us all.

I know you get off when one of us recognizes you and your mindless drivel, and I'm glad I could help, but I'm done now.

ohhh...i forget Cruising4Cock..your mental for humor is that of a 4 or 5 year old. I forgot all I had to do was say (type) the words "Cock, Cunt, ect...for you to think something was funny...Ok this is for you CRUISIN