He should teach a class, "How to Bury Your Career, Efficiently."

http://www.wehateeverybody.com/

SSSSIIIIIIICCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!

how do i post a comment

mmmm afterbirth-a-licious.

seriously folks.

didn't mean to post that. First timer.
Tom Cruise is crazy as a goat

and he likes the ding-a-ling

I realize that it's common in other cultures to eat the placenta of newborns, but Tom Cruise was born in Syracuse for cryin' out loud.

I'm hoping the next South Park is about Tom Cruise eating Gwyneth Paltrow's placenta.

Now that's some good placenta....I guarrrrrraaanteeeeee it.
Disgusting.

i think he meant to say he would eat the doctor's penis not katie's placenta

if this doesn't make ya wanna stay away from MI3, i don't know what will... the dude is a serious basket case...

Now that's some good placenta....I guarrrrrraaanteeeeee it.
Disgusting.

Tom will season the placenta with a generous helping of fine Louisiana Tabasco sauce. Tabasco goes great on anything. Just look at the list on the bottle. I'm surprised they don't already have bodily organs listed.

Guess that's where Tom comes in. He's taste testing it for the inevitable PR tour in which he tells people how much better placenta and cock taste with Tabasco on top.
Because, as we all know (say it with me now), Tom loves the cock.

There is another type of animal that eats the placenta after birth... It is the Hamster. The hamster mother will usually eat the placenta right after birthing her litter so she can gain the nutritional protein elements in order to help her nourish herself better so she can better her chances for nurturing the pups from her teats. It is solely for breastfeeding purposes. The father hamster sometimes eats the young for no good reason. I, personally, believe that Tom feels that his child WILL be the reincarnated L. Ron Hubbard, according to the fuct scientology myths, and he wants to harness some of the energy for himself. Yeah Tom!! Don't forget the A1 sauce...

#8 that was some funny shit... i almost peed myself

#11 - Thank you for reminding me for what I had erroneously left out of my earlier post:

Tom loves the cock!

(alltogethernow)

Tom loves the COCK!

Gross gross gross gross

Wow, I am starting to feel for Katie Holmes. Why she puts up with this craziness is beyond me. I say break the contract Katie! You can't live with this guy for 9 more years... you know before he leaves you and convinces another sad woman the same contract he has delt on you.

It would be great if Katies vagina sucks Tom up and the baby swallows Tom in one gulp.

Okay, everyone keeps saying how much Tom Cruise loves the cock, and while I'm not disputing that, I am curious as to what evidence there is to support such a claim.

Can someone please enlighten me, or I am expecting too much when I ask for some type of factual account of Tom's cock-loving ways on a slimey gossip site?

If God decides to get involved in this debacle, I hope he makes the baby come out looking just like Chris Klein. No, not a baby-fied version of Chris, which leaves it open for debate, but a baby with a full head of hair and teeth and a fully formed nose, and all the other shit involved with an adult head, looking like Chris. I don't care if the head is baby sized; so long as it looks like Chris, I'm good.

I guess it could also be born with a birthmark across its chest that says "Inspected by #6, Chris Klein", or maybe "Product of Chris Klein", or maybe, "Thank you God for making Chris Klein my biological father instead of the cock loving, couch jumping, crazified Tom Cruise.

Or even better than that, it could say, "Tom Cruise loves the Cock... my daddy, Chris, told me so after reading it on The Superficial"! I mean, I know all these are pretty big to be putting on a baby, but I don't have a problem with wrap-around text.

Another frightening thought is that of Katie snacking on some afterbirth with her snaggleteeth!

TOM LOVES THE COCK!!!

See, that's just being selfish. If it's so nutritious, he should share with Katie. Greedy bastard. He wants all the placenta and cock for himself.

dude, that's so gross, and not cool. i was busy forking tabbouleh salad into my grill when i happened to spill it all over me because i was too busy being grossed out to actually make it into my mouth. yeah, i'm a sped.

Excellent, I hope he keeps on the insane train, then KH will have no problem proving to the court that he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near her or the kid. I hate to burst the haters bubble, but this quote was from his interview with Diane S. Fri, and he was, I'm sorry to say, actually joking for once.

I think he's read about the term 'eating out' in some hetero book and is taking it a bit too literaly.

She's flat.

# 6
Isn't it dogs that eat the placentas of babies? My dog did that when she gave birth. And i really wasn't remotely aware that some cultures do that...you mean humans??? I've seen placenta shampoos and treatments, but never on something edible. Anyway, Cruise is definitely cooockoo

Everyday when I have an important decision to make- I think to myself what would tom cruise do.

I have to admit its making life so much fun. Like yesterday my boss asked me to stay late, I started jumping on the couch. He said nevermind, he didn't need me to stay late and actually gave me a week off.

I love Tom, like Tom loves the Cock.

To Scientologists, the partaking of the placenta is a holy experience. Much like getting ass-slammed by German porn stars. Just ask Tom, he's well-versed in all customs L.Ron.

He said "maybe I won't", but drug addicts can say the same thing about not using drugs again. Tom Cruise can eat that placenta with some A1 sauce if he wants to. Man, someone try to tell him that it's time to jump off of cloud 9. I can see why some people will be repulsed by that comment. But, it's Tom Cruise.

Yes, I agree he should offer some to Katie. I think its usually the female animal that eats the placenta/afterbirth anyway. I feel sorry for Katie, also. You can't tell anymore which stories about Tom Cruise are real. He's just totally ruined his image/career and he's going to ruin hers as well. He should have stayed quiet like he used to. That's the only reason Nicole Kidman came out of their marriage with dignity.

But why can't this be over already like the Looney Tunes Cartoons... ttaaaa thaats all FOLKS!

He is a lunatic and a narriscitic sociopathic manic. If he were not famous no one would care and he'd be in a padded room somewhere same from human viewing.

Katie looks really happy doesn't she.

Morokolli - Believe it or not, the French sautée placenta with shallots and butter. No Sh*t, I'm being serious.

Anyone who watches Anthony Bourdain knows that the French will eat anything.

Post 31 meant *safe*

He probably likes to eat many other things...

I'm not gonna knock it until I try it. Are there any women here I can hump, impregnate, the show up at the birth with a spoon,fork? If it tastes bad, then I will know Tom is crazy, but if it's good.....

PapaHotNuts Placenta and Waffles

Get on board investors, because every time a baby is born, that's cash splattering on the floor.

digusting

mmm placenta, pass the hot sauce please.

is there really any doubt in anyones mind now that tom cruise doesnt guzzle cum by the bucketfulls?

papa-
you already humped and impregnated me. birth will be June 29, don't forget the tabasco and ranch.
jugs

Ok that's when people have to say :ENOUGH!!!
He can be as fucked up as he wants, he does NOTTTT need to share that info with everybody else.

If I went running down the street saying I want to eat my placenta or anybody else's placenta, I'm pretty sure I'd be in a loony bin by now.

Can't anybody do anything? Hang him with the umbilical cord? Pleasseee??

He'd probably eat his way out of it though...

The Sun was misquoted,what Tom was going to do was blend the placenta with some crushed ice, pineapple juice, and coconut and make a Plancenta Colada

#26 - yeah people do tend to eat the placentor afterwards. It's not really that unheard of. But the thing is, it's the mother who is supposed to eat it, because she is the one who needs the nutrients. Not the weirdo father.

OMG seriously people, this is so retarded!
I love how people just grab on to an idea and go nuts about it. This one being, Tom Cruise is Crazy. Everyone jumps right on the bandwagon - shocking.
I'd love to see how "normal" or "sane" any of you guys would be if you lived in the spotlight for as long as Tom Cruise has! So he's a bit too enthusiastic for some, but it's actually refreshing considering how jaded and sarcastic everyone is these days.
Grow up!!

#42 - You are obviously an agent of Scientology volunteering at the center in Hollyweird to monitor all Tom Cruise related gossip in a futile attempt to justify his behavior.

Freaking gross. Katie Holmes used to be my neighbor in Wilmington, NC. She was quiet. She'd hang out in the bookstore. She was nice. So weird.

stop lying.

Freaking gross. Katie Holmes used to be my neighbor in Wilmington, NC. She was quiet. She'd hang out in the bookstore. She was nice. So weird.

stop lying.

Yea, Haley, quit lying. Bitch.

Oh would you shuuut the fuck up #42? Your probably flicking your clit to a picture of Tom Cruise in an old Teen Beat magazine right now. And if you're not don't steal my idea.

Besides...you don't have to be famous to be fucked up. Look at you. Hell..look at ME.

Cock-a-doodle-doo-any-cock will do - TOM CRUISE LOVES DA COCK!

I wish the placenta would eat him....

Placenta with Sperm Sauce and a big steaming bowl of meconium.

Freaking gross. PapaHotNuts used to be my neighbor in Wilmington, NC. He was quiet. He'd hang out in the pornstore. He was nice. So weird.

Would you have red or white wine with that?

#42. sweetNsassyfrass? That is your chosen name, and you are telling "jaded" and "sarcastic" people to grow up? You think we should start worshipping at the altar of poor "enthusiastic" Tom Cruise? Why don't you get back to us after you've finished puberty.

Tom Cruise just TOTALLY redeemed himself with that comment. To me, he is a model American once again. Placenta = YUM.

yea cuz...placenta is right up there with motherhood and apple pie baby!

Actually, Dawson's Creek was filmed in Wilmington NC.

DEFAMER: The Morning Cruise: Eating Placenta, Fixing Polls, Battling Swedes

http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/tom-cruise/the-morning-cruise-eating-placenta-fixing-polls-battling-swedes-168007.php

Uh, he's gonna be eating for a couple hours at least - my up-close experience with placenta(e?) over the last few years (two home births) involved very big slimy organs, like a really, really big liver. If he wants to chow on that - and the very tough umbilical chord, which he might want to tenderize in some white wine and rice vinegar for a day or so - he'd might as well start practicing at those steakhouses where you get the 36 oz. steak for free if you can finish it without hurling.

But then, he loves the cock, so...

I hate to post this-- No I dont

Roast Placenta
1-3lb fresh placenta (must be no more than 3 days old)
1 onion
1 green or red pepper (green will add colour)
1 cup tomato sauce
1 sleeve saltine crackers
1 tspn bay leaves
1 tspn black pepper
1 tspn white pepper
1 clove garlic (roasted and minced)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Method

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Preheat oven to 350 degrees)
Chop the onion and the pepper & crush the saltines into crumbs.
Combine the placenta, onion, pepper, saltines, bay leaves, white and black pepper, garlic and tomato sauce.
Place in a loaf pan, cover then bake for one and a half hours, occasionally pouring off excess liquid.
Serve and enjoy!

#52, I loved that store. I remember you as my neighbor. Remember that one night, with the Eskimo Pies and the lighter fluid? That brings up some fun memories!

He's sucking the emotional life out of her to sustain his need for attention. Now he is actually devouring her as well....just like all Vampires. And you know what they say about Vampires....The Cock? They LOVE it.

THIS IS YOUR BOSS--

people, people, I am only gonna say this once than I want all of you to get back to work, sleep, eat, shit or whatever the hell you're doing.

We all agree that tom is from another planet (maybe vulcan or some shit like that), so therefore that would make him the biggest ATTENTION WHORE in the universe...where he comes from eating placentia with a side of shit is a normal thing...

now get back to your normal lives...at least for the next five minutes or so

Not to ever defend Cruise but in his interview with Diane Sawyer last week he did say he was joking....

Did no one see the Diane Sawyer interview where laughed and said he was joking? And then he went on to say that of course people would take it out of context and think he was serious.

#52 I only remembered now that it was 'eskimo pies' you used to call the stuff you'd put in your mum's bra when you dressed up in drag. Oh and I will of course never forget your pies catching fire.

thank you 64 and 65 for not having the sense to detect sarcasm and or humour.

Sometimes i say stuff, and then when people get offended, i tell them i was just kidding.

Like when i told my babies daddy, that i am almost positive he is the daddy, he cried, so i told him i was just kidding.

I think he was joking, if not he's just really fucking gross and crazy to boot!...which I don't doubt at all.

Wait a second, moffen- are you English?

Seriously, I just went to Subway to get lunch, and when they asked me if I wanted anything else on it I asked if they have fresh Placenta. The lady in line next to me looked at me as if I was crazy, turned around, and walked out saying "I lost my appetite." That Subway is right next to my office and the guy knows me and was pissed off at me. He said "Come on Stallion, you can't be saying that shit when I have customers in here." "What the hell possessed to say that nasty shit anyway". I told him that I read that Tom Cruise said it was good shit and I told him TCLTC. He just looked at me really stupid. Anyway, I don't think i'll be going back in there for awhile......

True Story.........

Tom's crazy for the 'swing low'.

Tom Cruise prepares Roast Placenta on the next episode of Celebrity Cooking Showdown.

This article's pretty similar with this one (the title, I mean, despite the topic)

http://godscreationrants.blogspot.com/2006/04/tom-cruise-is-still-completely-insane.html

And it was posted a day before! Obviously it's impossible for the Superficial to copy them, since they aren't even popular yet... Coincidence!

#71 I nearly pissed myself laughing...

I live in the virgin islands - many women down here actually make a stew with the placenta and eat it.

but they also put period blood in soup and feed it to their boyfriends or husbands to make sure they stay faithful.

maybe tom put his period blood in katies soup.

I think what he really intends to do is store the placenta in a Tupperware bowl in the fridge. Then when it hardens, he'll mold the placenta into Katie giving birth on all fours, with their alien baby's head sticking out the back. In lieu of a bearskin rug, Katie's knees will rest on the softest quilt made up of "Dianetics" book covers, Kirstie Alley's 'fat' wardrobe castoffs, and John Travolta's hairpieces, particularly the one from "Pulp Fiction".

That's fucking crazy! He's really not human is he?

PapaHotNuts, you're a dumbass. Even your name is stupid. Get your freaking facts straight.

If by placenta he means semen, then yes, it would be a good meal for him.

Get your freaking facts straight? everything papa says is automatically a fact. he is cooler than chick norris.

chuck norris not chick norris, chick norris is the name of my chicken at home.

You guys just don't know until you've tried some of Emeril's Krazy Kajun Placenta and Baby Boudin Casserole - he really kicks it up a notch with his authentic creole seasoning. I like mine extra crispy. So does Britney.
Seriously, isn't placenta an Italian cornmeal paste served with flatbread? No? I gotta stop eating at Fazoli's.

Damn Haley #80, what facts did I get wrong? I didn't even state any facts. What are you talking about? My post on # 48? I'd love to argue with you, but give me a heads up on what the fuck you're talking about.

And I'm sorry you think my name is stupid. I know it's not near as cool as "Haley". I've never heard that one before, unless you go to any 1st grade in the nation, and then you will find half the fucking class is named Haley. Jack-ass.

Remember that whole Nicole wants an annulment so she can have a Catholic wedding thing? (http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/04/04/nicole_kidman_wants_a_catholic_1.html)

I think that Tom is just trying to be helpful. Maybe she can plead that he was always this insane...

He's such a freak. Scientology vitamins=insanity in a bottle. Boycott MI3!!!

mmmmm, chopped placenta, yum and of course Tom will be having some menstrual blood to wash it down with.

He's such a freak. Scientology vitamins=insanity in a bottle. Boycott MI3!!!

mmmmm, chopped placenta, yum and of course Tom will be having some menstrual blood to wash it down with.

He's totally lost it. Did someone bottle insanity and put it in his vitamins?
Boycott MI3!!!

Ooops, double post...

What do you call Tom Cruise with a runny nose?

Full.

'cuz he LOVES THE COCK!

He is my enemy! help me out of this volocano..

Xenu

http://www.ilovexenu.com

So I guess maybe Brooke Sheilds should have ate her placenta... then she wouldn't have needed the anti-depressants Tom's so against. o.0

#19. you're hilarious.

(tom loves the cock btw)

My favorite type of chick is one named Haley. They are especially good roasted in a frying pan with some hot bacon grease & chickenshit.

There are starving children in SUdan that would kill to eat that placenta. I commend Tom on not wasting a perfectly good meal. FOr desert he eats cock cause TOM LOVES THE COCK.

Tom: "I ate her placenta with some fava beans and a nice chianti."

Tom Cruise should even joke about things like this. He know we'll bite. I mean, his religion involves a spaceship and invisible aliens.

Placenta is high in iron and calcium. Tom needs to retain his strength for his next cock-sparring.

Tom Cruise would not eat anything that came from a woman's body because he loves the cock.

CUkooCuKOO((@*#)@(*#)$CUKOO^&@*^$CUKOO!!!!!!

dooode I hope this is true.

BOING!!

So where would someone such as Tom (I-love-the-ding-a-ling!) Cruise purchase a FAKE placenta to go along with the FAKE pregancy? The local Party Store? Body-Parts-R-Us?

@104

In Canada.

ive seen shampoo made of placenta at a beauty supply store, maybe he will drink the shampoo.

Zed, he's having it flown in from Namibia.

He wants to eat it because he heard it tastes like cock.

(Was I the first to send you the tip?)

Haley DOES know Katie Holmes! Haley is an illegal immigrant and Katie's been hiding her under her shirt for the past 11 months.

Zed...where EVERYONE gets their placenta products baby...EBAY!

http://search.ebay.com/search/search.dll?from=R40&satitle=placenta

#109, She sure ain't hiding boobs in there.

EVERYONE PLEASE READ MEGANHARRIS ON POST 100.

SWEET JESUS CHRIST, YOU DIED FOR HER SINS TOO?? NO FUCKING WAY. GET BACK ON THAT CROSS.

thats the sickest thing ive ever heard of
GROSS

MeganHarris, come closer. I want to whisper something in your ear. That something is a knitting needle.

LOL # 100 so funny i spit placenta all over my keyboard

Boycott his films!! Let Xenu provide for him.

i seriously doubt the need to boycott the film, who wants to see more of the freak tom cruise?

I still think #1's website sucks donkeycockandchokesonthespunk.

PapaHotNuts has LOTS in common with Tom.

Haley you make me glad I don't have a dick because then I'd have to fuck losers like you up the ass.

Seriously.

@119

Sighhhhhh. You couldn't just leave well enough alone could you? PapaHotNuts is gonna get you............................... You're seriously gonna have to be more creative if you wanna have it out with Papa. He'll make you wish you were never born. You know, like everyone else wishes you were never born.

Haley, what might that be? A love for cock? You have something in common with Carrot Top, can you guess what that might be?

If he thinks your an outragious thunder cunt, then we have one more thing in common.

I bet Tom Cruise wouldn't eat HALEY's placenta.

http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/2006/04/tom-cruise-is-busted.html

Tom Cruise blames the media for his craziness!

thunder cunt? new one..... oh i get it ....

her quiffs sound like thunder?????

im going to start calling my mother a thunder cunt!

*snicker* Thundercunt. Good one!

@126

Don't bother. I called her that the other day and it totally didn't phase her. The thunder cunt!!

#119 - You mean they both have the power to make you look stupid. Haley, you must be new here or you'd know better than to make smart people mad at you.

PAPA!!!! WHERE ARE YOU? YOU GOT ME ALL EXCITED BEFORE LUNCH AND NOW I CAN'T WORK. NEED TO KNOW! I'm going to psycho stalk you on the phone when I get home. BTW - It'll cost you $1.99 per minute.

i know that bitch has thick skin, i can't say anything to offend her

Jacq-check your email you whore.

Tom stikes me as one of those loosers who says something he is totally serious about and then tries to act like he is soooo cool and of course was just kidding, when he realizes how freakishly bizarre he is by the horror registered on everyone elses faces.
"Of course I am kidding about eating the placenta... I mean, why would I really do that?" (nervous, too loud laughter that just sounds kind of insane)

Haley Thundercunt. Sounds like an American Indian name for an alcoholic hooker on crystal meth. Oh, maybe I should say "native american". Whatever. Big Indian Crack Whore. Haley, how much do you charge for a dirty sanchez?

Trotter- I'm glad you're back and feeling better. That shit is funny.

mamacita & jugsgirl

papahotnuts@yahoo.com - holler at me-I have a question.

For that matter, anyone not named Haley or MeganHarris can hit me up there. You two can email me at youhavetwatrot@clownshit.com

'Thundercunt' - I heard that in Blade Trinity too - what does it mean exactly?

My friend ate her placenta it is suppose to bring back nutrients to mothers after they give birth. I am not sure why Tom would eat that?

@136

Your friend is a sick bitch.

PapaHotNuts

OK, I hollered at you. Now, check your email you dillweed.

Ppppbbbbllllttt.

The British press fell for it. Tom made the comment as a joke during his Primetime interview. See http://www.gawker.com/news/tom-cruise/tom-cruise-wont-eat-placenta-croquettes-167907.php

But he's still wierd.

And gay.

Holy shit. I give that kid 5, 10 hours before it's on a spit. And Tom Cruise is doing some Scientology detox dance around the bonfire while drinking Katie's urine.

Sick bastard.

Placenta pot pie.
Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Pepperoni and Placenta Pizza with EXTRA Penis

What's so weird about eating placenta?

I'm going to eat Tom Cruise's placenta.

Wait, what's placenta? Oh, shit, that's nasty... I thought he said 'polenta'...

131 - I love it when you talk to me like that. I didn't get anything before I left at 5pm. Send it to my hotmail account if you see this or I'll be a holla back girl in the am. I don't know what it is, but I like the people that are talking...

Placenta Pockets.
Placentaroni.
Tres Placentas Cake.

As much as Idon't like the guy...he was being sarcastic and making fun of people who talk shit about him...or he's just trying to throw us off and actually do it

I've not officially stopped saying "It can't get any weirder...". I give up.

Ummm, is "crazy" a new euphemism for "gay?"

Eating Katie Holmes' placenta would be an extreme attempt to convince someone on this planet that you tapped that ass, but we'll all still know that you love the cock, Tom.

Didn't anyone see that "Real Sex" on HBO where they made Placenta omletes and whatnot? No foolin'. Yuck. You have to know you're a bit twisted when even the corpse-fuckers look down on you.

Although....

Would make for a kick ass episode of Iron Chef, though. Granted, the first ten minute of various chefs projectile vomiting would get boring after a bit....

He eats placenta's.... baby too.... Katie next.... but not King Xenu. (Sorry....just reminded me of Rapture)

I THINK IM GOING TO SPEW...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a8/Human_placenta_baby_side.jpg

I don't know who told Tom being crazy was better for his career then being gay and coming out of the closet but trust me its not helping.

#136, what happened to drinking a protein shake to get back nutrients.... jesus that's fucking disgusting. I use placenta on my hair tho', makes it real shiny....

APPARENTLY THAT'S HOW THEY DO IT ON THE PLANET XARAC12 WHERE WE'RE ALL FROM.

APPARENTLY THAT'S HOW THEY DO IT ON THE PLANET XARAC12 WHERE WE'RE ALL FROM.

Katie was pregnant with a beachball!!

http://www.pretendpundit.com/2006/04/katie_holmes_is.html

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE SOUTH PARK EPISODE ON THIS CRAZY SHIT.

Braised Placenta (mmm..)

1 large fresh bloody placenta
3 tablespoons olive oil celery stalks, chopped
1 large onion, chopped
6 large garlic cloves,
2 small bay leaves
2 fresh thyme sprigs
5 juniper berries
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1 14-ounce can low-salt chicken broth
1 14-ounce can low-salt beef broth

Serve with side dish of new baby poop sauce

i dont think that people shoulkd start to hate Tom cruise. I think he is a good guy and he works hard for his money that is all.

I think that his new movie mission inpossible will be a big hite, but I dont that that it should cost a lot to see. If it does not cost that much then I will watch. I wish the best of luck for Tom Cruise. Thank you for working so hard to make your new movie. I will be one of the first ones to watch it. May God be with you.