Who is she again?

it's "your shirt" not "you're shirt"

I'd hit that. I'd also lick the tape until my tongue bleeds.

I second #2.

What happened to her big breast implants? Did she have them removed, or is that top just misleading?

"mutant tape nipples"

C O M E D Y gold. AHOOOOOOGA!!!! BOING!!

That's odd--the way her career's headed, you'd think she'd be showing off rather than covering up. Is she even known for anything besides her body?

zz go back to sleep, you're boring us with your anal retentiveness. i second #1 & ask again, where's the Kirsten hate, where is it? I want more abuse of that fatty mcfat, saggy titted trollface!!

Hmmm, she's looking very Hollywood thin. Couldn't figure it out but then okay, it's the taped down breasts.

Why does everybody think she's so hot? She looks like a poor man's Alyssa Milano. With a giant, Reese-Witherspoon-esque chin. And why does she bother covering up her nipples? You can see twenty minutes worth of nipplage in every movie she's in. I guess she only shows them for a fee.

lol, don't people look in the mirror before they leave their houses???ooops..

zz -- you seem like a kindred spirit -- does the letter "t" mean anything to you? And by the way, let me tell you about these glasses I got. I really hate them, they give me headaches, can't wear hard contacts, glaucoma test air puff hurts blah blah BLAH.

I'm a little bugged by: "Sometimes I wish my nipples were made of cheese."

Either the SF blogger is now a female with huge juggs (mmmm...titties) or a really fat dude (vomit!) Wait, maybe there's more than one SF blogger? Hmmm...

You know, I come here to escape the norm, not try to THINK! Cut it out!

I can't look at her without thinking about that troll she married. blech.

Oh yeah, and "I just really like cheese."

Did anybody see Wallace and Grommit: The Adventures of the Were-Rabbit? Because I did and after I saw it, cheese just REALLY creeps me out now. I guess I'm going too far off topic...

Tapes them to what?

Hey sweetcheeks, I bet that ZZ is wondering what you are talking about.I think you were referring to me. Ha.
Opps..
by the way did anyone notice how pointy one side of her cheek is compared to the other?
Taped nipples, the reese chin, and the oddly shaped cheek package make her look a little doofy.
Plus the ginormous chompers.

had to correct ya'll ... she's taped them to point them forward and keep them on the perky side of life. i may have considered this myself as mine naturally point a little east and west - ladies, try it you know you want to.

'Cheese humour' seems to be the kind of humour people fall back on when they're trying to be weird.

I like her shirt.

wait, say shirt 50 times, and see if it doesn't start sounding weird.....

shirt... shirt.. hahaha

#2 - what's ur problem? R U getting annoyed? Don't b a grmmr nazi. 4 U, i will spk in txt spk 2 keep U busy.

They're band-aids.

DAMNITTOHELL!!!
Change the title...

I was expecting to see video!

It was supposed to be FUNNY. Thanks, tits_on_smack!

I meant "snack." Really.

#10 - Guys think she's hot because she was cast in a movie where she was naked, masterbating, having sex, reading a dirty magazine, and she had a foreign accent. If the guys aren't lining up to ask you to the homecoming dance, try any of these simple attention-grabbing tactics (I should write for Cosmo...)
#18 - Besides the above-mentioned ideas I think all the ladies need to start performing more experiments on their nipples. Tape is good, but how about seeing how fast you can rip it off? And let's try to find out how long you can stand the ice cube. And for a group experiment, see which one of your friends can suck the longest. Ahh, reminds me of high school...

Ever since "American Pie", I thought Shannon was cute (and I dug the fake east European accent, too.)

The skin on her face is a little tight, but Reese still wins the award for "best tennis ball chin implant".

Oh, and I give her credit for never having dyed her beautiful hair blonde.

I wish someone would tape her boobies to my face, wait that would probably look weird, nevermind.......

#28, thanks for backing me up.

The only way this could have been funny is if she had taped her nipples to a moving train.

#27 - guilty as charged, sir!

That being said, I always thought she had this down-to-earth quality (I have no way of proving this, except for the fact that her ex-husband is not a celebrity. Oh, and she went to Wrestle Mania.)

#27 -- so if Star Jones spoke with a foreign accent, read a dirty magazine, masturbated and was naked in a movie, guys would consequently think she was "hot?" Pity. Good to know your standards are so high, guys.

Oh, and sorry zz -- that letter "t" comment and the glasses ramble was COMPLETELY meant for M.

M. -- you are a funny bastard. Ginormous indeed. Thanks for turning me on to the site! Hope I hear something soon.

I think its funny that people think I'm a guy based on what I write. I'm actually not even a lesbian. I'm just observant.

you people are missing the story completely, here...she's not taping her nipples, dick cheny is having her nipples taped in the name of homeland security...and you don't even want to know how he's secretly wire 'tapping' that ass...
what a dick...

I didn't think you were a guy, oshkosh -- I was just burning men in general. Except for my husband and son, of course. And my dad. And Granpa. Oh, and my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He's okay too.

you all are missing the point of the taped up nipples. she had another boob job. ...although #10 might be on to something. could she be starting a new craze?

Yeah, Jesus is hot.
P.S. Shannon Elizabeth is a cross-eyed dog-faced, Hillary Duff-capped-tooth havin', down's syndrome-lookin', anorexic short girl with expensive implants. God I wish I had $10,000.

oshkosh, are you the secret identity of the superficial guy? You know, the Clark Kent to Superman deal. If not, you are delightfully witty. Their media site says they are hiring writers.

Gross.
She looks like a wierd Jessica Alba too

Here's another picture I found of Shannon Elizabeth naked: http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B00000AFGM.03.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Short?

http://imdb.com/name/nm0002436/bio

Compared to shaq.

#33, you make a good point - all that other stuff (although, I had forgotten about the magazine bit) is just icing on the cake. The main thing is that she is physically attractive to begin with.

OshKosh, you and I have something in common: based on my screen name, people think that I am a guy, too.

Here's a better pic of her without the top of her head cut off:

http://imdb.com/gallery/granitz/3717/Events/3717/ShannonEli_Cohen_6160228_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Elizabeth,%20Shannon

Her boobs look real in the photo. Maybe they are.

#43, people seem to think I'm a guy too. Oh wait. I am a guy and people really don't think much about me here. Nevermind.

She really should just keep her shirt off like in American Pie. She looks better that way and much more alluring.

She really should just keep her shirt off like in American Pie. She looks better that way and much more alluring.

I can't say I can see any tape - there's no logical explanation for what we see here. By the way...am I the only one who sees the strange apparition of a man's face appearing on the front of her shirt??

OMG snore

Shannon doesn't tape her nips indiscriminately. She just had an addaboobtomy operation from donor Star Jones, and they went in thru the "front door." Give a sista a break.

#48, I see it too! Creepy.

Kind of reminds of the "Jesus Toast" on eBay.

#48 and #51 I thought it was Jizz on her shirt front.

She is sexy - I would DEFINITELY hit that, and after I finished hitting her she would be in no state to refuse my offer of a date. That reminds me, I must phone my Grandma....

She is sexy - I would DEFINITELY hit that, and after I finished hitting her she would be in no state to refuse my offer of a date. That reminds me, I must phone my Grandma....

A poor man's Alyssa Milano? Since when did that ugly whore become cream of the crop? Shannon Elizabeth is still hot, even if her face is a little stretched. I've watched that scene from American Pie and it's still hot. Every guy wishes his girlfriend would do that scene in front of him.

#55 -- yes, that's exactly it, Mr. Fritz. Alyssa Milano is NOT hot. And consequently, being a "poor man's Alyssa Milano" would mean "you are less attractive than Alyssa Milano and everyone knows that Alyssa Milano is ugly." Do the math, Einstein. Jesus.

The tape's there because Joe "Sasquatch-mongoloid hybrid" Reitman got her nipples in the divorce.

OK, so she's not short. Give her a fucking medal. And, no, I'm not jealous, bitter, or crying at work... again.

Shouldn't her name be Elizabeth Shannon? It might help.

So she's a middle-class man's Alyssa Milano?

Where is Trotter? Thank God for him (you are a him, right?) and OshKosh. And PapaHotNuts.

No waaaayyyyy!

Swear to God, it is a face, and it's Tom Cruise!

Before you dismiss this, concentrate on the nose, mouth, chin. Don't make the titties the eyes or it gets all Jar-Jar Binks.

That is the COScatology Tom sending messages to us...."I'm gonna get you fuggers. First you make fun of my wife, then you make fun of my signs to my wife; South Park was completely over the line..."

It's Tom I tell ya, it's Tom.

A lot of property damage and loss of life could have been avoided if they had just taken some time to tape down the boobs before Katrina hit.

Too late now.

i like Shannon Elizabeth... :-(

Am i the only female who does..? Le Sad.

Maybe the Superficial guy is drunk, which is why he has all the grammar errors. But at least she was thinking ahead! And who knows, she could have had the tape on before for some other reasons o.o

Maybe the Superficial guy is drunk, which is why he has all the grammar errors. But at least she was thinking ahead! And who knows, she could have had the tape on before for some other reasons o.o

Hey, maybe the nipples were sanded off in a horrible... uh, sandpaper accident. Now the off-color areolas are all that's left. Poor Shannon!

what a bitch!

maybe she taped her tits so she could rob a bank.. I coudnt pick her out of a group of one. But I know I could pick those tits out of a group of two.

to all the girls who keep getting confused for guys, it would help us if you used better handles. might I suggest appending any random number to any of the following options:

cutiegirl
sweetcheeks
lolababy
mizzhottie
bubbles
babelicious
edna

Don't these B actors ever get tired of trying old stand-bys like this to get their name recognized in the Enquirer?

I hate her

WTF is she taping bones and silcone.
She is skinny skinny skinny.
Damn if I was a man, I wouldn't hit that
I would wound myself....LOL

Well, sirokai, I was going to use my stage name, Lady Delicious AKA Exxxtaci, but I didn't want my dad to know I was writing posts on the Superficial.

I also put tape on my nipples when working promotional and feature shows. But my tape has SPARKLES.

I would like to date her. She could bankroll my ambitions and she is attractive. +2

Dude she didn't want the nips to show ok?! Geez, you people are so dumb...

Why couldn't Hillary Swank and Shannon switch places?

LOL -- there are actually people who think this was some accident. Yeah, you and Janet Jackson... If she didn't want her nipples showing, wouldn't it have been easier just to put on a bra and a blouse that wasn't sheer? This was a publicity stunt, plain and simple. She wants to get noticed because most people have no clue who she is. She probably phoned the media herself and gave them time to set up their camera angles.

LOL -- there are actually people who think this was some accident. Yeah, you and Janet Jackson... If she didn't want her nipples showing, wouldn't it have been easier just to put on a bra and a blouse that wasn't sheer? This was a publicity stunt, plain and simple. She wants to get noticed because most people have no clue who she is. She probably phoned the media herself and gave them time to set up their camera angles.

#75 -- LOL!!