Apr 18 2006Scarlett Johansson wears bikini in Jamaica

She's all bruised. Baby needs a tan.

JEAH

JEAh!

Btw, is it just me or do her breastesess look lopsided?

Shouldn't she have a free Dolce and Gabbana one hanging around or something? Sheesh

There's nothing like swimming with your sunglass's on. Oh sure - the dives are a bit dark, but how about that 'coolness factor'?
(Hummm...Who's looking at the bikini.... ?)

id hit it!

i'm with #4, looks like she bought her rack at Walmart too

I've never liked her.
Her face screams: Slut...
And her body screams: Road Kill...

You people must be homos. She looks hot.

Scarlett Johansson is so hot. I would let her take a warm, steaming crap on my face. mmmmmmmm

I'd like to bury my face in those.

To all you losers who say she's ugly, I'd bet a lot that she's way hotter than any pimple-covered, fat-assed, pug-nosed, hairy-nippled skank that you ever fucked.

I think she's cute and I would definitely do her.

If I was a dude, I'd rather masterbate than hit that. AND if I was a dude, I'd have a HUGE penis.

no airbrushing, no makeup, no retouching...I'm sure many of you haven't ever seen a woman before, outside of the magazines and free "babe-a-day" downloads that you hide in a private folder so your mommy doesn't find out you've been whacking off to the computer again, but this is what they should look like...beautiful.

Her right tit is almost as big as his head... Left is a little smaller, but if i was fingering her asshole Id only need 1 to hold onto anyways...

bathroom break - time for the "Stranger"

She must be using SPF 1000.

Don't listen to them, Scarlett!

Except for the bikini, you could have done much better. I'd happily help to choose a new one next time...just call...

I'd fuck her on top of Mother Theresa's grave while my grandmother filmed it.

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
Dr. Pepper all over the freakin keyboard. Thanks Papa!!!

i don't know why i always thought her breasts were real. looks like she fooled me.

btw, she has an awesome full body. ugly bikini, i'm sure it's designer anyways.

I like how whenever somebody expresses their distaste for a certain person's appearance, everyone who likes that person automatically accuses them of being ugly or fat, or that their past romantic involvements were all with ugly fat people, or that they are jealous or gay.
I like it, because it's true.

Does that mean you have a huge vagina?

#20 - agreed. The ugly bikini probably is some designer crap that cost her two thousand dollars. Designer stuff is always ugly, people only think they look good because they had to fork over their first born child for it. Like every goddamn trendy monogrammed handbag - all ugly as sin.

too bad the boobies are fake, but it's still refreshing to see a starlet that doesn't resemble a dry, overcooked chicken wing being eaten by pigeons in a 99 cent store parking lot....with the face of a well-worn driving glove.

If she keeps wearing the sunblock, she won't develop that turkey chin next year like Britney's.

Breasts look real to me. She has a little chunk on her, which is nice IMHO, and matches her breasts well. I've never found her particularly attractive, though she was on the verge of hot in The Island. Ugly bikini, yes.

something about the way they sit in the second photo, but who knows?

lemme get this straight... SHE was voted sexiest woman of the year? WTF

*yawn* She bores me to tears. And that suit looks like she bought it off the discount rack at TJ Maxx.

#14 - Agreed!

She looks great - better than I expected...

I love the bikini- I'm guessing romantic Josh, suprised her with the trip and she did not have time to pack. She bought it in the hotel gift shop. The sufer on the bottom is riding that wave right to the promised land- You gotta love that. The breasts are real and real nice. Yes I;ld hit that, but I'ld hit just about anything right now that meets the following: pulse, female since birth, weighs less than me by at least 30 lbs, and recent STD screening Is that too much to ask.

Fake tits. Good except for the clip ons.

Yeah, looks great to me, are those the only two pics?

I never realized how really fat she is. Yikes. I feel bad for her weight but she still makes made cash.

Digging those bright-ass neon yellow spaghetti straps. I wonder if she has the matching puffy paint t-shirt..

I hate Josh hartnett. I hope the m*****f***er chokes on a hotdog.BTW papa can I second your motion
P.S. Tom still loves the cock

she looks great...from the neck down!

Giggity giggity giggity. Aww riight.

Fat, yes, she's a heifer. She probably even eats food without even throwing it back up. LOL Scarlett you n00b. U don't have teh mad anerexik skillz.

Ohhhhhhh!!! I get it now, so THATS why she's famous.

This is a sexuality test. If when you looked at these pictures you thought:

[A] "OMG!!1! Scarlette's boobies!" You're a straight male.

[B] "Ewww! (Snarky comment along the lines of buying bikini at Wal*mart)" You're either gay or a witty straight female.

[C] "Those are fake tits!" You're a straight female, albeit mostly clueless because you fail to realize that no guy cares.

Not a great bikini, but she _is_ a very good looking woman.

Some of us likes 'em pale like dat.

That's fat?!?! Jesus Christ. I'd say we're dealing with some unreasonably high standards here -- that body's pretty close to perfect. It's certainly closer than most of the anorexic skanks walking around Hollywood these days.

Anyway, a cheap bikini is just that much easier to rip off when you get back to the hotel room.

unfortunately, this looks like some of the D&G bikinis

it probably isnt one, but it sure does resemble them, this was probably the only one she could fit in - seeing as theyre not made for full figured girls

oh and her boobs are real, because yea they are uneven ... just like mine and every other woman with natural boobs, you just notice it more cuz theyre big

when youre an actress, all that matters is your face ... i think shes a little chunky, but shes just full-figured ... a little tan and im sure she would look fine

An almost perfect body.For all of you who thinks " she's fat " : GAYZ !

She's not fat.

She's anything but fat. Get Real, people. For once there aren't ribs and bones sticking out all over a woman.

I look like that in a bikini, how odd...I guess I don't look that bad in one then, cause she looks kinda good. She's a bit discolored though, she needs a more uniform tan. I don't think she's fat, she's really curvy and has big ass boobs, just like me : )!

That's a fine woman...but it doesn't change the fact that Tom Cruise Loves the Cock.

People: You really think she is fat?!?! Wow...at 5'6" and 125 lbs. I feel like I'm as big as a barn.

I love relevant information like this! Keep the good news coming...

She is hot as hell, and definitely NOT fat. She looks great, women are supposed to be curvy.

(And I am a straight woman, so that's no excuse for failing to see how completely hot she is).

Look at that second pic- she looking down the beach, with her hands on the back of her bikini, about to take them off.

"Yeah, Josh. I see them. I'm gonna get ready."

"Told you they'd be here."

"Sorry for doubting you, I just didn't think the entire Duke Lacrosse team would come to Jamaica."

"You gotta learn to trust me. Now just lie there and put up a little fight now and then. That's how they like it. Oh, and tell them your name is Laquentia."

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA 52

I gotta agree with #27 - that sure doesn't look like the sexiest woman on the planet, FHM's opinion be damned. Is she hot? Sure. Does she have an awesome, natural body? Absolutely. Do I, and all of you, know plenty of girls that look better in a bikini? Without a doubt. Not to take anything away from her, but come on, in the WORLD? I'd hit it (with glee), but halfway through I'd probably start thinking about the dime that waitresses near my work or some other shit.

(raising hand) I have a question: what's she doing with him???

I just noticed, why are those two tools wearing sunglasses while they are swimming. What idiots.

She's probably the only person left in Hollywood who isn't anorexic.

*a year later*

It's official, everybody in Hollywood is unhealthy.

the tits are real people, stretching, standing on someone's shoulders and leaning makes them move...hence the lopsided look.

I thought her breasts were real...but then I realized there is a reason she is always wearing a pushup bra. It looks like she has flesh colored beach ball under her cheap bikini, look how circular they are in the fist pic...weird.

butterface

I'd put some nut-butter on her face.

you dudes are gettin' a bit too picky. At least the bitch has boobies...

http://www.flickr.com/images/spaceball.gif

AAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Forget that link, it's broken.

Here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/voxefx/130811878/

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

She's not fat, but she looks like she could really hit that "wall" after 25 that some of you guys here talk about. Her face isn't pretty to begin with, unless you love pugs. She's pretty ordinary in every sense.

oh gross. Seeing all these super-white fat chicks in bikinis just reminded me that it's officially that time of year to lay off the doritos, reese's pieces, peanut M&Ms, ruffles, meat & potatoes. Hooray for coke-season!

ugh why do they always want to wear patterns

thank you thank you thank you, I've been waiting for at least one decent, straight-up bikini pic of her and she looks great.

yeah, she's fair skinned, she's got curves, she's got real and totally awesome breasts, she's a fuckin' real woman. Frankly, I think she looks even better than I had imagined, because after all the bullshit tease pics where she's have covered or laying on her stomache, I was starting to wonder if she had a beer gut or something.

she'll probably get heavier in a few years, but until then she's great.
here's to real breasts, and here's to fair-skinned girls who are hot and don't need spray-on or fake bake melanoma tans.

24- spot on, except you forgot the part about Tom loving the cock

"oh no, a blemish and a bruise! I'd better go fry the shit out of my skin so no one can see it!"

whateva

#18 PAPAHOTNUS Wrote: I'd fuck her on top of Mother Theresa's grave while my grandmother filmed it.

REPLY: Amen, Papa. I would also bang her on top of Mother Theresa's grave while my grandmother filmed it. If your grandmother still had film left, I'd do it all over again on Gandhi's grave. He was into that whole 'make love, not war' thing so it'd probably be cool with the police.

I took another long look - I've got two words...Yum-O! I'd drink a tub of her bathwater.

and if you want to see what real fat and disgusting chicks look like in bikinis(as opposed to totally hot and curvy ones), come to my neck of the country--the Jersey or Maryland shores.
ugh

P.S. I've never hated a human being more than I hate Josh Hartnett. He's worse than Hitler, Stalin, and Genghis Khan all rolled into one big tyrannical ball. He's worse than Osama. He's worse than Mao and Pol Pot and Mengele. I effin' hate Josh effin' Hartnett!

He's banging my future wife and it just ain't cool.

BTW, how's that career goin', Josh? Been in any big blockbusters lately, you wife-stealing, wooden-acting sonofabitch.

I hate Josh Hartnett.

I wore that same bikini at the beach last weekend but my balls were hanging out the bottom and scaring all the children. Needless to say, I spent the weekend in jail getting repeatedly ass raped.....

BEST EASTER EVER.............

#72 I saw those...Mariah something....

69: oh I love it when I guess right. Once I saw the "whateva" I thought "Long Island or Jersey". sweet. jersey sucks.

Ugly bikini, fake boobs. That's one out of every two girls on the beach these days.

Well, I guess after being drowned by pictures of Paris Hilton for all these years, we just can't realize it anymore when an actual woman's picture is in the site.

I'd love to see the look on her rather odd face when I slip her "The Shocker." Two in the Pink, One in the Stink!

Nice tits, anyways!

Oh yeah . . . Tom Cruise loves the COCK!

"the shocker", never heard that one before (rolls eyes).
Someone learned a new, funny saying & couldn't wait to use it on here!!

"the shocker", never heard that one before (rolls eyes).
Someone learned a new, funny saying & couldn't wait to use it on here!!

She got her tits done and has an enormous bug bite on her. Definitely looks like a Wal-Mart special bikini..

just noticed something...is josh smelling his fingers?

Josh "is that ahi is smell?"

i smell not is smell damn these coke gitters!

oh yea and tom loves the cock!

@63 Dude, in that link you posted...what the HELL is Kelly Clarkson laughing at??????

On the subject of Scarlett Johansson, that bitch is SUPAFLY. Josh Hartnett's eyebrows are crazy and I think his new hairstyle/facial hair combo makes him look very molester-y. Additionally, am I the only one who doesn't give a FUCK what gogoboots looks like in a bikini or that she has "big ass boobs"?

She should give those tits to someone more deserving, someone with a pretty face and a hard little body, someone... someone like me. I'm going to stare longingly out the window clutching my teddy bear until it happens.

@85 - I guess I'd kinda like to see gogoboots in a bikini. sorry.

#47 - You're fat. Go stick your finger down your throat, you're making us sick with your mounds of jiggling grease.

I'm going to paraphrase Super Troopers, so pardon me if this isn't one that will go in my "Best of Oshkosh" series, coming this Fall: "Jealousy is a stinky cologne"

Scarlett's too big. Lindsay's too small. Mariah's too big. Nicole's too small. Is anyone just right to you people?! There's nothing scandalous about Scarlett so we've got to make fun of her bikini. I agree, its ugly, but maybe she wanted to wear one she could be comfortable in and not worry about ruining. I think she looks great (besides the hideous binkini).

Scarlett's too big. Lindsay's too small. Mariah's too big. Nicole's too small. Is anyone just right to you people?! There's nothing scandalous about Scarlett so we've got to make fun of her bikini. I agree, its ugly, but maybe she wanted to wear one she could be comfortable in and not worry about ruining. I think she looks great (besides the hideous binkini).

Scarlett's too big. Lindsay's too small. Mariah's too big. Nicole's too small. Is anyone just right to you people?! There's nothing scandalous about Scarlett so we've got to make fun of her bikini. I agree, its ugly, but maybe she wanted to wear one she could be comfortable in and not worry about ruining. I think she looks great (besides the hideous binkini).

She's no Raquel Welch, but she's got nice tits.

Josh Hartnett is a squinty-eyed hack.

Ill. That bikini IS tacky. I bet she bought it at the girft shop, last minute. Also, its hard to find "cute bikinis" when you have HUGE boobs!

It was bad enough your post was as funny as dick cancer, but you had to do it three times?? C'mon Spangler, you're better than that. Shake the tail when you walk.

Note to all: I think I figured out a way to avoid looking like a fart by posting the same post multiple times: just hit your back button when you get the error message & then hit refresh. It seems to work for me... except for that time 20 minutes ago when it completely didn't.

And I am so super smart for figuring that out too by the way...

94 - Putting severed goat heads in the front of your dirty clown suit does not count as having huge boobs, Mateo. May I also say, as one who has had many fat girl friends, just because your breasts are big doesn't mean your big fat thighs and stomach are justifiable. It had to be said.

I agree #67.
Not the most slammin woman on earth, but I wouldn't waste any time making a map of Hawaii on her chest.

@95 Hee hee. Dick cancer.

@89 What's happening, meow?

I agree #67.
Not the most slammin woman on Earth but I'd waste no time making a map of Hawaii on her chest.

Thank you biatcho. At least someone is nice.

I agree #67.
Not the most slammin woman on earth, but I wouldn't waste any time making a map of Hawaii on her chest.

I agree #67.
Not the most slammin woman on earth, but I wouldn't waste any time making a map of Hawaii on her chest.

I agree #67.
Not the most slammin woman on Earth but I'd waste no time making a map of Hawaii on her chest.

I agree #67.
Not the most slammin woman on earth, but I wouldn't waste any time making a map of Hawaii on her chest.

I agree #67.
Not the most slammin woman on Earth but I'd waste no time making a map of Hawaii on her chest.

I agree #67.
Not the most slammin woman on Earth but I'd waste no time making a map of Hawaii on her chest.

@89

Hey meow.

@95

Bahaha!!! Dick cancer.

Damn. You people are harsh--I was thinking she looked pretty good (yes, despite the cheap looking bathing suit).

As far as her boobs go, it looks like the bikini top is pushing them up all weird. When she lets them 'hang' naturally, so to speak, they look like normal big boobs to me.

@89

Hey meow.

@95

Bahaha!!! Dick cancer.

Damn. You people are harsh--I was thinking she looked pretty good (yes, despite the cheap looking bathing suit).

As far as her boobs go, it looks like the bikini top is pushing them up all weird. When she lets them 'hang' naturally, so to speak, they look like normal big boobs to me.

All of you shady jealous people saying she's fat are nuts. Even I would bang her, and I normally prefer cock.

Tom, too, loves the cock.

All of you shady jealous people saying she's fat are nuts. Even I would bang her, and I normally prefer cock.

Tom, too, loves the cock.

Spacedog you are officially a fart! A silent, hot, burning, smelly one that lingers for 8 posts & counting....

Sweet stinking shit!!!!!!! Fucking multiple posts. This has to be a record for most multiple posts by separate people in a son-of-a-bitching row.

I didn't know Tourette's was contagious.

I'm going to do this on purpose.

I wasn't aware that we could only post funny comments. Apparently no one wants to think any farther than Scarlett's toe nail polish. I'll try not to post anything more than once for fear of being caught by the guy with the way cool screen name. Papa Hot Nuts...don't tell Dear Abby on me. Apparently I've gone against good ettiquette. I'll never scratch in public again. I've only been posting comments for the last two days, so excuse me for being ssssllllooooowww. The site doesn't seem to be working right. Hence the three postings.

if THAT'S full-figured, I'm a land whale.

I didn't know Tourette's was contagious.

I'm going to do this on purpose.

Is there an echo?

Any of you dolts who think Scarlett Jo is "too fat" need to turn off teh innarweb and go walk around outside for a while.

In a few years when you a) are an adult and b) have had actual sex with an actual human, take a look at the pictures again.

Agreed #67
Not the hottest woman ever but I wouldn't waste time making a map of Hawaii on her chest.

Whoa, crazy posts. This Information Superhighway contraption I have is for the birds.

Hey #11... would you then eat the peanuts out of it.... he,he---

First!

Who wants a mustache ride???

Who wants a mustache ride???

#115 Biatcho -- have another drink, you fugly leprechaun.

Who wants a mustache ride???

Who wants a mustache ride???

#122 I am a human and I have had sex with myself so is it OK if I still think she's nasty ugly?

On the contrary @124 - Today I thank God for Al Gore for giving me the magic connection that brought Sweet Scarlett into my living room in a bikini worth removing.

Spacedog: Dude if you can't take someone calling you a "fart" then you have got serious issues. I feel very bad for your parents & your cat(s).

# 118 By the way Strangler, my name has no spaces in it, it's just PapaHotNuts. The reason no one wants to hear about anything further than Scarlett's toe nail polish is because no one gives a shit. We aren't writing her bio. And as far as Dear Abbey is concerned, I'll corn-hole the bitch for two hours, only to make her limp to the kitchen and make me a fuckin' Hot Pocket before she cleans the bathroom. Enjoy your posts on the SF, it's an opportunity to say shit without fear of being trashy, insensitive, or morally wrong. You know, how daddy used to talk to you.

When did Josh start fucking a beluga whale?

http://www.dolphinleap.com/pictures/belugas/

i love her boobers

if ever there was a 3some to be in on... thats the one.
her bikini isnt all that bad. ive been shopping this morning, and ive seen some horrible shit out there. the kind of things that gives a young girl nightmares.
4 stars for the boobs, great family fun for all ages.
two thumbs up, her puss.

136 - Thanks a lot. Now I have this crazy itch to find a porpoise of some kind and make love to it. "Is this chicken or fish that I'm eating?"

Taking a break from Scarlett... Can anyone tell me if this site lost some writers or something because it's gone from hilarious (up to a few weeks ago) to lame jokes about bathing suits and car wrecks. Just curious if anyone else has noticed the dip in quality posts?

Scarlett is pretty, shes not fat, and any man who thinks so loves the cock more than Tom Cruise and any woman who thinks so is jealous and stocked up on snack cakes and chips.

I don't think she's fat, but that's one nasty zit on her waist.

Ouch! I thought we were just attacking the celebrities. I was just minding my own business when I got slammed by PapaHotNuts. I just don't like seeing a nice girl being put down for something stupid like not looking good in a particular photograph. Give the ladies some love so they don't feel bad about themselves and hook up with a guy who beats them or thinks they can only be popular if they sleep around. Sorry Papa I guess I'm a girl and I've been programed not to be trashy, insensitive, or morally wrong - at least not out loud or to the person's face. I'll try harder to be more crass. But, I'm a girl so I don't want to screw her. I'm sorry. I can't come up with anything lewd.

I GET IT! Fat = Can lose weight without being hospitalized. Duh! If you can pinch it, you can get rid of it. Even the boobies: rock hard silicon is the new jiggly.

I'm going to be more controversial than All you Mofos and say I think that is the hottest bikini I have ever seen in my life. I'd sell my now deceased grandmother's soul for the chance to just glimpse one on a rack (in a store you perverts). But homegirl needs to eat a sandwich and get her black a## out of the sun.

And to 99, 101, 103-108, and 123: Ah, yes I can see that. Quite so.

@143

"Ouch! I thought we were just attacking the celebrities."

Wow. You're more out of touch than Oprah's bitch ass. Next thing you know, you'll be sounding like my dad, asking questions like "What's a DSL? How do I make the google come on here?". Additionally, most of the girls on here try extra hard to be trashy, insensitive, and morally wrong. It's what we do. Maybe you should visit the gawker or some shit. It might be more to your liking.

http://www.gawker.com/

143 - Say, are you a girl? Because work on the street is you are a girl. That's just what I heard anyway.
If you are a girl you should know that having ovaries and fallopian tubes automatically programs you to not be trashy, insensitive, or morally wrong. Please write this in the notes section of your "Being Female" handbook, and good luck!
P.S. You are a fat cunt with curdled labia.
P.S.S. I am also a girl.

you're a girl so you don't want to screw her? that comment was mortally offensive to lesbians everywhere. like myself.

132: That would make all these middleschoolers' judgements valid so no, you're going to have to reach pooberty first.

Relax, man, you'll like girls in a few years. Or cowboys.*

*Yeah, I know the Brokeback Joke is a dead medium, but I had one more.

and i doubt scarlett's self-esteem is hanging on whatever you say about her. i mean..she doesn't even know you. plus, she's hot.

136, that Cheating whore! She is blatantly in pictures kissing other men (and clearly flirting with that woman).

Where's the bikini though? NSFW, dang.

Oh shit, Spangler, your ABC Afternoon special speech has taught me a valuable lesson about how to treat people. I'm sorry if I attacked you, it was in response to:

"I'll try not to post anything more than once for fear of being caught by the guy with the way cool screen name. Papa Hot Nuts...don't tell Dear Abby on me."

I felt like you were being mean to me, so as a defense mechanism, I lashed out at you. It's just that I just got my first period and I'm fighting bulemia. I'm glad you're their to be my friend, because even though I love the guidance counselor, he touched me in my swimsuit places and he made me feel uncomfortable. I was so depressed, I went home and smoked marijuana for the first time. I thought about suicide, but the bible says it's wrong. My parent are divorcing, and my boyfriend is putting pressure on me to have sex. I just wish I wasn't so fat and everyone hates me at school. My dyslexia is really causing learning problems, and I am getting terrible acne. I stole some sunglasses from the mall, and I think I'm going to get grounded from the prom. I think Johnny Johnson was going to ask me, but Heather Mitchell said she liked him first. She is such a b***h! Peer pressure is real, and doing the right thing sometimes is diffcult. But with great friends like you and nightly prayer, I will make it and have high morals and good language. I hope you sign my yearbook, OK? I'm sorry about earlier. BFF!

*Wiping tears away*

that last comment was for #143, btw. you know, the person with an over-inflated sense of importance as to how she affects the lives of women everywhere?

The "trashy, insensitive, or morally wrong" part came from PapaHotNuts, the god of The Superficial. I wasn't pointing at anyone, but obviously I've hit a nerve. Papa sweetly pointed out that I retardedly posted the same thing three times.

Biatcho, if you have something to say about what I post, go for it.
Calling someone out because the server is messed up is just tired.

excuse me, BEARFUCKER!

you people crack me the fuck up!

Scarlett is hot - not fat

wanna see fattie on beach
http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/2006/04/kelly-clarkson-is-wet.html

Whoever thinks she is fat is way too critical, or brainwashed by those fucking magazines. She's got curves and a great rack and pretty face, the qualities of a beautiful women for centuries up until about 20 years ago. Those bony bitches in hollywood take it too far. Sex with them would feel like rolling around with a 13 year old boy. But maybe thats what you want.
Whats next, is Beyonce fat now too?

cheap Easter chocolate rules. Way better than Hershey

damn why is everyone always hating on hotnutz? actually i dont mind cause it gives him funnier things to write, which is good for me cause it helps my day go by faster.

@153

I think PapaHotNuts was less concerned with the fact that you posted the same thing 3 times than he was with the fact that "your post was as funny as dick cancer".

Exactly Ramblebrook. My point exactly until I was rudely called too PC. Apparantly you can only say mean things on here. I should be able to say whatever, but apparently not. I wasn't nice to Tom Cruise. What a freak, whether he loves the cock or not.

I wasn't trying to be funny, but if I were, I'd go for funny as dick cancer. Hands down. Much love to PapaHotNuts.

This is full figured now huh? Lets see, I can see her ribs, and slight chest bones, you just wouldn't be able to grab hold and swing from her bones like you could nicolelindseyterihilary. That tummy is luscious, I'd kiss that mosquito bite and make it better...and those scrumptous gams, I'd run my tongue up them and tear off that tacky ass bikini with my teeth. YUM!

161 - If people could walk around saying "whatever", what kind of country would this be? Not the America I know and love.
P.S. Al Quaida, Jihad, Osama, bomb, anthrax, patriot act, Tom Cruise. Come and get me, suckas!

Spangler- You just offended children afflicted with Down's Syndrome around the world with:

"Papa sweetly pointed out that I retardedly posted the same thing three times."

Retardedly? Real nice Spangler.

How about "Papa sweetly pointed out that I quadrapalegically posted the same thing three times."

or

"Papa sweetly pointed out that I multiple sclerosisly posted the same thing three times."

or (last one)

"Papa sweetly pointed out that I died-from-faminely- posted the same thing three times."

You're a cold bitch Spangler. Ice cold.

#163 gross. but not in a good way. i think theres a blow up doll somewhere with your name on it....

You guys really think her boobies are fake? I thought it was the suit separating them like that, I was wondering what happened to her cleavage that she loves to flaunt.

I would like to recant everything I just said and state that I am a white, legally documented citizen of the U.S. who never votes and watches Fox News every day.

I take that as a compliment from you.

She does seem to love her own tits.

@168

You slut!! Somebody told me that my boyfriend, Bill O'Reilly, had cheated on me with a hot blonde who has tits that are super high and firm and I didn't believe them!!!!!! You, madam, are a thunder cunt!!!!!!!!!

or should I have said, "She sure does to seem to love her own mammary glands?"

Is it just me, or is she lacking any visible signs of muscle? her limbs look strangely spaghetti like, slack and slightly puffed after boiling. Who cares if her boobs are real- I am more frightened by her noodle legs and arms...

DAMN.

I'm...wow....

WOW.

And that is a damn ugly bikini....

ok 154: you're a lame-ass fag.
how's that? I'm hungry and can't come up
with anything better than that right now.
But waits til I eats me some chitlins!
I will unleash hell.

148: suck a dick

She's young. She doesn't work out yet.

It's like when a new singer comes out and they let her keep her au natural look on her first album and then if it does good and they decide to let her do another, they shell out the bucks for a personal trainer and a makeover.

I can't beleive what i am reading,there are readers here that has not reached the age of consent and yet the language is so vulgar and so rude, for example

bearfucker(lol), tom loves the cock, cheating whore, homos, steaming crap, hugh vagina, fingering her asshole, dick cancer...etc.

let's show a little more fuckin' class okay.

148: Xenafu or whatever the shit you're really super cool screenname is:
thank you. It brings joy to my veins when 17 year olds think they know what they're talking about. If you had half a cock you'd know by now I just kicked thru poooberty yesterday or didn't your mother tell you about the horsecock of mine she shat on last night?

i'm a heterosexual female and all I have to say is "Wow", and by Wow I mean I'd switch teams.

and that is a fugly bikini.

#178

damm. how did you cook chitlins so fast? because it takes me at least a day.

Scarlett Johandjob

181?!? Damn, I wish I had time to read more of these! But I must compliment HappyTimeHarry - you so funny! Laughing my a$$ off. And as for your Stranger, will you be employing the non-dominant-hand method or the sit-on-your-hand-until-it-falls-asleep method?

i don't even know what chitlins are. I just like that word because you can also call them shitlins and it giggles me to sleep at night.

Just like meganharris/trophywife/haley can also be called cunting whores. But they don't make me giggle... they make me want to vomit on spacedog & heifferrzz.

Fat???!!!! she is the hell NOT FAT!!!! her body is awesome!!

The ones that say she is fat may be blind or maybe they like the deformed ugly anorexic bodies like Nicole Richie's, Lindsay Lohan's or Paris' which I personaly find very ewwww disgusting

Oh, sorry, folks. Biatcho is just leaving. She has to join her 15 brothers, sisters and cousins and go throw some more rocks at the British.
Let us know when you and your spud-eating fat ass find that pot of gold over the rainbow, sweetheart.
P.S. I'm glad that sex with yourself thing is going so well.

That bikini is FUGLY!!

biatcho - lemme school you. chitlins are pig intestines and they must be cooked for 126 hours and they smell wretched while cooking. i have no idea what they taste like. and actually i wouldn't cook them beccause, well, it requires cooking. which would detract from leisure time and damm, what are restaurants for?

this is the story of girl
whose pasty white skin blinded the whole world

It's really hard to read all these posts and also comment when your office has been really fucking busy all morning!!! I have 5, maybe 10 minutes to do this.... it ain't easy.

Her tits are fucking fabulous!!! I kill PapaHotNuts for a set of those.

186 - do NOT fuck with the irish. does the word ginger mean nothing to you?

@186

If biatcho is a leprechaun, wouldn't she be more likely to throw gold coins, kick them with her pointy little shoes, or make them some Fudge Stripe Cookies? You suck at leprechaun violence.

14, 12: I agree. Men are already forgetting what a real woman is, and think they all should look like tall boys. Thanks, Paris, Thanks a lot bitch!

Spangler, can you do me a favor? Go back to licking your anus. Seriously. Everything you have to say is shit, so I figure if you go back to lappin' out more crap from your balloon knot you'll forget to post for a while and the rest of us can abuse people who matter.

I don't get why people are bashing her. She's pretty, nice body, and way hotter than any of you'll ever be or get.

Jealousy!

I don't think too many of the men have a problem with how Scarlett looks.

Dudes, I totally get that everyone has their own, like, preferences or whatever towards different body types, but lets be objective here. The girl is not fat. 300lbs is fat. 125lbs is NORMAL. If you think walking around looking like a chopstick is okay, then you should have your heads examined. There's a line people. A very thin (no pun intended. Okay, it's intended.) between thin and emaciated. Please stop perpetuating your sick ideas of what's an acceptable body. There are probably some young girls reading this right now and freaking out because they can pinch an inch.

The person with the screenname "biatcho" thinks mine is an attempt at being "clever".

Furthermore, he/she wants to have sex with me.

Euw.

who asked you anyway, trotter? What a fountain of diarrhea.

None of these people care about the self-image of little girls. I got reamed for trying to "preach" earlier.

@200

I think that may be because little girls shouldn't be on this site, reading this shit. If they are on this site, they have shitty parents and are destined to be unsuccessful whores anyway. At least this way, they'll be skinny unsuccessful whores.

Jinxie, it's because she's young. She has definition, but it's covered in that tiny layer of baby fat that makes young women look cute. Lindsay Lohan used to have it too until she fucked up her metabolism permanently.

It's too bad young girls can't just enjoy it, but are instead so hell-bent on anorexic "hardbody" muscle definition. Save that for when you lose the baby fat.

Seriously, any of you bizzarro-world freaks calling her fat-- are you INSANE?!?! I've been in H-wood for 4 years and I can't stand those shaved-hip pinners that wobble up and down Melrose and the Grove-- give me a REAL woman any day, and Miss Johhanson is indeed woman-size. But fat? You're a retard.

On that note, though-- Josh Hartnett? That beady eyed little weasel? The only thing disappointing about this chick is her taste in men.

Hey #74 (Italian Stallion) thanx for sharing your adventure over the weekend......I like your sense of humor..LMAO...it feels good!

Fountains of diarrhea are hot.

I try to go to the diarrhea fountain at least once a week for a nice hot fudge sundae.

98.6 degrees hot

I think its great she doesn't try to look like anyone else, even if she has a fashion don't every once in awhile.

@199

Now look, you've gone and got shit all over our screens.

to paraphrase another fountain of diarrhea, can't we all just get along? I mean, can we agree to the following three basic principles?

1. Scarlett is hotter than Avril, and that picture of her with a woody had more than 300 posts. Like her or not, Scarlett has more class and more ass than that dirty Sk8r girl.

2. Some prepubescent girls on this site think that boobs are unsightly body fat - that's cuz they don't have them yet. The men on the site have clearly spoken - Scarlett looks hot - even with "mounds of grease". or whatever the hell you called them

3. Tom "firtht I'll eat the placenta, then I'll eat Katie'th head" Cruise does, indeed, love the cock.

have you got a piece of bread I can mop that up with?

Osh is hot.

Scarlett could rape me any day of the week!

Spatz, your a fag. This lesbo would eat Scarlett up with a spoon GIDDY UP!

SpaceDog & Gopher with an X are officially on the shitlist. They are the female versions of MeganHarris & TrophyWife.

Your asses are mine & you will be thrown to the wolves. It gets me all hot just thinking about it!!

Gopher with an X - if you want to partake in the sex with me I say LET'S GET IT OOONN. I saved some of your mommy's ass juices in a bottle from last night. We can start the night out by funneling some of it & then you can spank Spacedog in his mangina until he cries for his mommy - then we can sqeeze out some of her titjuice for tomorrow nights escapade.

It's weird how celebrites dress... they spend all this money on all these clothes, but to the rest of us, it looks all bargain basement.

188 - thanks for the lesson on how to cook soulfood. I think I'll try some next week with that cold glass of semen oshkosh spit out a few posts back. It will also go well with some fava beans & a nice bottle of asstitjuice from spacedog-gopherfucker's mothers.

mamacita. hah, that was funny. can someone please put that bitch in her place? i usually don't like to attack people for what they post, but "she" (i think spangler is actually a prissy fag with not enough money for the sex-change op) is fucking annoying the jizz out of me.

215 please please, what do i have to do to get off the meganharris list? puhleeese, even she makes me wanna slit my wrists so how pathetic is that? i'll even consent to oshkosh doing her saran wrap/shitcapade on my poifectly coiffed hair....

#220 - Good enough for me. You cried uncle. We'll follow you from thread to thread, day to day...

Does anyone else agree with me that the new poster #204 kimanis is actually KIM? She likes to be repeatedly ass raped, thinks it feels good. And, Italian Stallion can't help who likes him.

Mamacita, excuse me. Did you just say meow?

Alright I will take you off of my list (for now) trophywife. But only because I forgot how much I hated heifferzzz - but she is a little pussy and won't come back here anymore so I give it one week. MeganHarris & Heifferzz suck the mostest in my book. But if I don't hear back from heiferzz in a weeks time you are probably going to end up back there. But I must admit you have hutzpah & a delicious self deprecating sense of humor!

it never fails - this board goes from witty gem to witty gem and then degrades to faggoty-ass name calling. Observe:

Biatcho "I make fun of people better than you"

XGopher "Nuh uh...you're mama's fat"

Biatcho "Your mom left her razor at my house last night. I shaved her back"

Xgopher "Nuh uh...my mom waxes her back, so there...uh...poop joke"

Biatcho "poopjoke! Poopjoke squared!!"

buncha homos....stay topical or stay off-line.

Ah, Biatcho, Biatcho.
Why didn't you listen when your parents told you to stop eating all those paint chips when you were a wee lass?
Maybe this is where all the mom hostility is coming from. But let me tell you -- those jokes were gold on the jungle gym during recess.

Oh SpaceDog, it truly hurts my wee lass feelings that you just don't love me. Because I only come on here because I need friends who accept me for who I am. I am just going to go bite my pillow now!

223 - smoke a cock.

And 223 - I'll stay topical with what you're post reads: you're a fucking homo who likes to lick shitholes.

I'm suing superficial for a new laptop!! If you're going to put up pics of Scarlett in a bikini, you should make a warning that straight guys shouldn't visit this site while they're naked, sitting indian style with they're laptop in front of them.

Oh yeah, Tom Cruise loves the caulk.

Vindicated! biatcho proves my point with another scatological reference. Bravo! May we have another?

Holy Crap Im never going to have kids because I just blasted a load over those pics that made my nuts look like particles of sand.

ANYONE who says SJ is "ugly" "not fuckable" or "has fake tits" is more blind than Im going to be when I go into total testosterone deficiency in about 5 minutes from the whackoff session these pics inspired.

To all the haters..stop mingin...to all the playas keep on bringin.

This girl doesn't poop. She was born without a butthole. All really good looking girls are.

Oh I am glad I can actually make you feel, like, smart & stuff! That seems extremely important to you. I can also make you feel like you have a big dick too except chances are you don't. Do you drive Camaro by any chance?

in point of fact, I drive a ratty little foreign job...tempermental, a definate guzzler, a little worn in the seat, but she takes all the abuse I can dish out and keeps purring like a kitten.

WAIT A FREAKIN MINUTE - I DRIVE A BIATCHO!!!

Wow - okay... who knew that awesome boobies could do this much damage? Okay, so it seems that (mostly) everyone agrees that them tits are shweet! And that the bikini need to burn in hell. I'm a straight female, and alls I can look at is them swells, and I think they're totally real. If you think I'm crazy, let's agree to disagree... Can't we all just get along? And when I say along, I mean along side of las tetas grandes, brah hah hah hah!

#63 - love the site - brilliant

PapaHotNuts - marry me

Biatcho, why did you say that Jersey sucks?

The boobs look real to me, but who gives a rat's ass if they are fake? They look awesome. You girls ripping on her are retarded, I'd like to see you hags in your bikinis (especially you, sweetcheeks/cheekychops, since you're still being a retard and have previously claimed you look better than her)

And any guy who doesn't think she is hot is gay.

#234: because it does... have you ever smelled it?
Or the people that reside there?

And it's funny you should ask me that because I had a feeling some of the angry & bitter losers on here were probably from Jersey & saw that as well, causing their tighty whities to get all bunched up. Let's Go Nets, Devils & Bon Jovi! And Volkswagon Rabbits with Rainbow stickers!!
And typing the word sucks with an X because Jersey RULZ!!!

#63 - wait - I think I may take what I said about about your site back... it turned kinda scary when I got to the barbie doll bachelor party... like "why was mommy spanking santa claus" scary

And let's not talk about the buffie the body and the girl in the green two piece... scary scary

#40

What if I said, "Oh my gawd, honey! You have to check out S.J.'s rack! She's hot!" And then drag my husband over to the screen.

She looks awesome.

Everybody, if you think she looks fat or bad: you need to slap yourself. First you say girls are too thin, and then when someone is not a toothpick, you say she's fat. MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MINDS BITCHES!!!

BoardBetty,

I'm afraid the arousal of you dragging your "honey" over to see SJ's rack combined with the recoiling of you revealing that you have a husband (vestigial Catholic impulses and all) caused my genitals to explode in a puff of paradoxical smoke.

It's so nice, I'm commenting twice!!!

Go Team Scarlett!

IWDMBII.

For an eternity.

IWDMBII.

For an eternity.

Let's see, Scarlett has large fake boobs, bleached white skin, carries a few extra pounds on an untoned body, and wears ugly bikinis. And, only a complete fucking homo would care, ...

Hell yes, I'd hit that sweet young ass! Hard!

Wow, Biatcho. Such hatred for NJ. Really, the only people who say bad things about NJ have no experience with it. I'm not about to make a tourism commmercial for NJ, however, your comments expose how ignorant you really are.
On another note, stop falling for the obvious fake posters (Sherry Co) and yelling at them. You just look like an idiot. If you are so angry, maybe you need to go find a kid to punch. Try Newark?

You know, I never really understood all the hype SJ gets. I mean, she's not exceptionally hot or anything. She's painfully average-looking. She's just another woman in Hollywood who gets touted as beautiful just because she's rich and famous.

she has the cutest curves, but I don't care for her much, I hate that stupid poufy hairdo she does.

Did you know that "Josh" was the name of the guy she liked when she was in the movie Ghost World?

And, that of over 200 posts, I was the first to note it?

And, that I don't win a cookie, or anything else for this?

And, that I like Thora Birch from the same movie better, and that Thora won't read this or be impressed, or know how to contact me if she did?

Sometimes the internet can be unsatisfying :(

GodDAMN, I'd fuck the shit out of her.

I love her boobs, not that that should be the focus... her swimsuit is very cute. Cmon, is she supposed to be dressed in a diamond swimsuit that just bleeds the words "I'm richer than you"? no! I think she's damn cute. Very natural kind of beauty... my kind of beauty.

And yeah,,, god damn look at those knockers!

Very cute... I'd kill to date a girl that cute... and well.. I have,, but I went away for many years

Yummy, yum, yum. Fat? That's normal. And I'd spank her ass until both cheeks had handprints like a cave wall full of pictographs. I just want to bury my face in either end of her torso and make mad raspberry noises. That's some of the finest sausage parking on planet earth right now.

I'm surprised that an average-intelligence (or below) starlet with fake boobs and a cheapo bikini has instigated more than 250 comments.

Of course, since I've now commented, I'll just eat my own words. 'Course, I think she's BELOW average with really BAD-looking fake tits...but..HEY..that's just ME =X'

PS: OF COURSE the guys here would spank her ass; they're desperate e-nerds that never leave their puters..they'd spank Rosie O'Donnell's round ass =0

@253

There is not a heterosexual man alive that wouldn't endure the humiliation and utter disgust of "spanking" Rosie O'Donnell ad nauseum for the right to buy a lottery ticket to tap Scarlett Johansson's ass.

Ah look, an idiot. HollyJ (#253), you're not too smart.

"I'm surprised that an average-intelligence (or below) starlet with fake boobs and a cheapo bikini has instigated more than 250 comments."

Actually she's known to be one of the more intelligent starlets in Hollywood and she acts quite mature, which can't be said for.. well, almost all young women in Hollywood.

And uh, she definitely doesn't have fake boobs. You do realize, I hope, that women in show business CAN have naturally good-sized breasts, right? Hers are obviously real.

And ZOMG SHE HAS A BIKINI THAT IS UGLY. Who CARES? Holy shit some of you people are ridiculous. And uh, I hate to tell you, but almost every bikini with a design on it looks fairly ugly.

"PS: OF COURSE the guys here would spank her ass; they're desperate e-nerds that never leave their puters..they'd spank Rosie O'Donnell's round ass =0"

Uh, no. People here would spank her as sbecause they're desperate e-nerds? So then I guess you haven't realized she's one of the most popular and wanted-by-men women in Hollywood. Oh, and 90% of men do leave their computers.

Moron.

She looks great in that bikini but it's just another piece of overated crappy french couture if you ask me.

round one - newbondsux vs biatcho - goes to newbondsux - tko.

muhahahahaha!! Shut up Biatcho, you're OLD!! & you know i'll just keep on laughing so give up while you're ahead! hahahaha, i'm at the top of ur hate list? who keeps a hate list...actually, who keeps on mentioning a internet pseudonym post after post...oh yeah OBSESSED OLD PEOPLE! get over it bitch! this is priceless entertainment, priceless i tell you!!... keep on talking & i'll keep on laughing!

...to stay on topic, Scarlett looks hot...i wonder if she can 'bring it' biatcho?!

#257 haven't been watching but probably true newbondsux. though, it's all a little unfair...see, she is a little deluded, thinks she can 'bring it' & 'bring things to the table' & whatever else... but you know, her family should sit her down & tell her gently that,'IT"S TIME TO GO HOME GRANDMA!!'
...of course that would put mamacita out of a job, i mean, she depends upon carrying (& licking) bitacho's sweat towels...there are very few jobs for spineless freaks!

Wow...her left boob is DEFINITELY smaller than her right...like, by a lot...she's a normal girl!! Woo! She's not a twizzler like Nicole or an agent of Lord Xenu like Katie!

Lopsided= natural, and hot! White skin= No cancer...well, just look at "age spots" Britney. Gets my seal of approval. Two thumbs up.

for all who say she has fake boobs, check out this photo - all her stretch marks are clearly on display - that's when boobs grow really large during puberty ;)
http://the-victimizer.tripod.com/top25/Scarlett_Johansson.jpg

I don't quite get her. She's certainly not ugly, but I don't think she's particularly attractive, especially for a celebrity. Without the professional makeup and whatnot, she's no more than the average cute girl at the mall. *shrug*

Still, it is nice to not see hip bones on a celeb "hottie" for a change.

#14 Totally agree....well put lad.

@259

What a sad excuse for an insult. I don't know why you insist that I'm a bandwagon jumper. I already told you that I can't jump since I have no spine, and you never answered my question about whether there's a handicapped ramp that I can use to get on that bitch. Seriously, half the time I start shit just because it's fun. The other half, I'm starting it because it's warranted. However, 100% of the time, I only start it with someone who says really dumb shit, and let's face it, you definitely qualify. Honestly, when your entire argument revolves around this phrase: " muhahahahaha!! Shut up Biatcho, you're OLD!!", you really have no business posting here. You're just too stupid, honey. Also, if I had a job doing shit for biatcho, it wouldn't have anything to do with sweaty towels. See, biatcho is actually clever and does not require intense work to make fun of you, therefore avoiding breaking into a sweat. If I had a job for her, it'd be sharpening her dominatrix stilettos or some shit like that. In closing, I'd like to paraphrase that inimitable actor, Pauly Shore, from his riveting theatrics in In the Army Now-----

SUCK ON THIS A ONE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heffer you are just not going to give up until I force you to literally kill yourself are you? Do me a favor: when you can actually come up with some intensely clever, witty, borderline psychotic comments that entertain me then we'll proceed with our back & forth banter.

Until then I am just going to randomly make fun of you when you're looking (usually at 2am when you should be sleeping on a school night, missy)and will try to not waste mine or anyone else's time shaming you any further with the crap.

And as for bandwagon jumping, as you like to call it, continue to jump on that sux person who keeps writing shit that no one is really paying any attention to. Maybe you two can, like, be pen pals or something? Now both of you get back to your homework & let the adults who are allowed on here legally have their fun.

And whoever it was that stuck up for New Jersey a while back (cannot even waste time going back to find out who you are)- I was raised in NYC and I know a thing or two about that piece if shit stank ass state across the Hudson. You all drive pimped out Honda Civics, look like Gotti's and tawk like dawgs. As for ignorance, we all know that people in NY are better than NJ, it's science.

great rack, hourglass figure. who could bitch about that? i just hope she has the same dirty ass feet that evangeline lilly has

#266- it was me who stuck up for NJ, you're so lazy. Anyway, apparently the last time you lived in NYC was 1987. Times have changed since then. I'd be happy to give you a tour of NJ that extends past the northern section of the Turnpike, which apparently you only encounter when lost in your Delorean.

Nope, I'm pretty much here right now but you are somewhat correct - the last time I voluntarily ventured into NJ was in 1989 so I could see myself some hot-ass Bon Jovi concert! I think Bruce Springsteen opened for them. And then Frank Sinatra came out at the end with Bill Cosby & they covered Living on a Prayer. Oh wait, Cos is from Aidsadelphia, sorry. It was a fawkin' kick-ass conceht. Fuggedabowdit.

And you know what, my DeLorean is still kickin' it BIG TIME! I get so many hotties with that machine. When I find myself banging my head on the roof because of all the fucking going on inside I just hit a button & *POOF* nothin' but the fresh air & a bunch of guidos watching totally wanting to fuck in a DeLorean.

Okay Biatcho, I can see you are too busy whoring yourself around in your Delorean. Well, when you get some free time, try visiting NJ, it's actually really nice. And then you can stop making stupid, dated comments.

Actually, I take that back. Stay in Queens.

Is LittleWatson what you call your Little Penis?

Of course you would make a Queens reference - it's all you know. Queens is the New Jersey of New York.

I actually have never been to Queens. I was just guessing you grew up there because you're so bitter.
Anyway, stop watching HBO to get your information and try finding out about a state before you knock it. I'm just saying, you sound dumb.

Oh my god. You're seriously going to great lengths to defend a state that is known nation-wide as the armpit of America and always will be. Is your name Richie Sambora?
I can't afford HBO - I live in Queens and am so bitter about it that I can't get a job and therefore can't afford HBO. Stop blaming the Sopranos for all of the ugly people & ugliness of your state. Ugly ass New Jersey smelly ugly baby fuckers.

Calm down, Biatcho. Did your boyfriend leave you for a girl from Jersey City? That's the only reason I can come up with for your hostility.
I am just trying to educate you and I can see it's not working. I'm going to take my philanthropy to a worthier cause.

I wouldn't speak to a man who would date or otherwise befriend someone from Jersey City or the entire state for that matter.
It's called I'm from NYC and we're better than you. As I stated before, it's a scientific fact.
If I wanted to be further educated I would get my masters but I'm so poor & lazy from living in Queens that I just don't want it so stop teasing me.

@277

In addition to being bitter, don't forget that you are also a fat lesbian. And OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least that's what heifferzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz says. Unfortunately, I'm just a bandwagon jumper on-er, so I can't com