Apr 13 2006Ryan Seacrest used to be a fatty

Great picture too. This looks like the first moment after he took it up the a$$.

He wasn't born with a vagina, he was born hating vagina. Which is cool. Leaves more rampant totty for us amateur gynecologists. Seacrest needs to stop faking it with over-the-hill TV actresses and go straight to his future love: Tom Cruise. Those two were just made for each other. Seacrest is weird enough to dig Scientology and Cruise is gay enough to anally violate Seacrest while Seacrest is reading "Dianetics." These two lovebirds were made for each other.

This is defintely a cry for help...

fag

He was fat until he could find lots of men to poke him up the ass several times a day. Rabid anal sex is a real calorie burner especially if you are on the receiving end like Seacrest.

actually, a vagina would make him much cooler.

i think "getting caught" with teri hatcher was his cry for help...or a joint cry for attention by two media whores.

Hey Ryan, you know how I know your gay?

"I was overweight because I used to come home and eat a cookie sheet pan of nachos and watch Oprah every day of my life....."

@7

Hey Ryan, you know how I know you're gay?

"I have a bumper sticker that says 'I like it when balls are in my face'"

Hey, I just heard a funny name for him the other day. Ryan PeeCrust. Teehee.

Sperm must be high in calories and fat content.

Now he is only being teased for being a
no-talent he-rodent.

Seacrest Loves The Cock!!!!!

If sperm is high in caloric and fat content then he must be jerking off a lot

Fatty Fatty,
Two by four,
couldn't get through the closet door!!!

Seacrest....OUT (of the closet)!

DOUCHEBAG OUT!!!!!!!!!!

This guy. How in the fuck did this guy get a hosting job? He couldn't host a birthday party for retards. Oh wait that's pretty much what American Idol is.

In other news,

Can anyone believe that Bucky went home last night? Dude, he was like the best contestant ever. Who cares that you don't understand a word he says. I never understand Bob Dylan or Ozzy, and they are still famous.

I can't stand Ace, I think if he wasn't giving it to seacrest he would have been sent home already.

well, i have to commend him for actually looking good now! he weighs less now than he did when he was a kid. at least he got his act together and got healthy..

how many chubby kids did we know when we were little? there was always that one kid that everyone made fun of.. and he's just one who made a name for himself.

Bucky is dumb but I like Ryan Seacrest. Why do people say he's gay? Even if he is gay, it's OK with me. I can't stand flamboyant gay guys. As long as Ryan stays in the closet and doesn't talk with a lithp, he's peachy keen in my book...and my book is in the Library of Congress.

...Terrible Hatcher is gross and the fact that Ryan had his lips on hers takes a few points away from him.

He may have lost the weight, but at least he kept his dignity!

On second thought...never mind.

He has too many teeth in his head. You know, the funny thing is that's the same way that Oprah got fat, too. If my little bro had raced home every afternoon to watch O, I would have beaten the shit out of him. )I want to knock) SEACREST OUT!

BTW - The coption for that pic should read : But you said you were only going to put the head in!

Bullshit- No 180 pound football player gets teased without the teaser getting the living crap beat out of them.

When I was a kid I couldn't wait to run home from school everyday, turn on BET, and cook up a nice big pot of crack over an open flame. I wasn't the fat kid.
P.S. Who in the fuck is Bucky?

@24

When I was a kid, we didn't have cable, so all I got to watch after school were reruns of Golden Girls and Good Times. Well, sometimes Jeopardy. Dynomite!!!!!!!!!!

Oprah. tsk tsk.

Ryan, the closet is only big enough for Cruise and Leblanc! Btw, that's the same expression Ryan uses when he's doing his walk of shame from "Bear Night" at the local bath house.

Bucky was one of the top 12 contestants on American Idol. He was one of the rednecks who actually thought going on American Idol would make him famous.

#28 - You know how I know you're gay?
Because you know who Bucky is.
Sucka!

Standard Oporating Procedure for a lot of gay kids. Chunky, don't hang out or play sports with other kids. Lots of TV. Move away from home, in college lose weight, get in shape, try some new hair products, etc.... Man, Ryan just outed himself as far as I'm concerned.

I think his weight-loss secret is being forcefed raw bacon while being sodomized by a leather-clad motorcycle gang.
You know, so the sphincter gets tighter as you vomit. Or maybe he just likes bacon. Or both.

osh kosh -

i love you. are you female? that would make me gay!

jugsamber + oshkoshb-goshdammgosh sittin in a tree. I would pay to hear bucky sing that. would simon like it?

hey now - bucky is a cool shit(i happen to know). i am glad he is off that gay show & going back to NC.

Let's totally go gay, jugsgirl. I can tell you have big jugs by your name. Let's go gay in honor of Seacrest and his fat gay ass. It'll be romantic.

#23

...unless he's 4'3".

To all of the posters: You rock! This is why I love this site. I did a search on him and found out he's only 31 years old! Why does he look like he's pushing 50? Could it be the tanning beds or Tom Cruise's cock?

Mamacita, thanks for RyanPeeCrust. Nice visual. Of course, now I'd like to send you a bill for my dry cleaning now that I've barfed my Cheerios up on my suit.

PeeCrust. Precious.

Seacrest is about as gay as Elton John's fanny pack.

bucky likes to fucky and sucky

He kinda look's stoned in that picture, I wonder if he smokes the pot? Not there is anything wrong with that, because I like to indulge every once in awhile, but people keep saying I'll have short term memory but I think thats bullshit. Not that there is anything wrong with that, because I like to indulge every once in awhile, but people keep saying I'll have short term memory but I think thats bullshit.......

1. Hair Lightener
2. Eyebrow Waxing
3. Botox
4. Spray on tan
5. Spray on Tan protector
6. Moisterizer
7. Eyeliner
8. Eyebrow Pencil
9. Foundation
10.Lip Gloss (Coral Sunset #7)

Secrest Ready!

I agree with #40, he does kinda look high, but what the hell, I'm stoned right now. But don't worry, I'm not a pothead - I'm in college. So therefore I'm not an alcoholic either, even though it is 1:30 in the afternoon and I am obliterated. Hell, I'd lick the alcohol off of a deodorant stick.

College girls are hot - especially when they go wild.

Seacrest+Oprah+sheetpan+nachos= population of fat chicks in America.

He seems like he is stupid enough to eat the cookie pan too. Also a suprise is that he didn't bite off his fingers, because I know when I watch Oprah I can't help but shove my fingers down my throat.

I think he wants to be on Oprah and he knows complimenting Oprah is the first step. This guy knows how to get what he wants, remember he somehow managed to get a star on the walk of fame? He's never done anything!!

Anyway if he gets on the show, Maybe he'll finally come OUT to Oprah...

I know! Buckey was cool, I want that grey haired guy out, American Idol he is not... and I want Kelly to win! She is so cute! "Pick Pickler".. adorable... I like Ryan... he's kind of funny and whitty, but I love Simon!

Ryan's high on Amyl Nitrate. Preferred drug of guys who like huge cock up the pooper. So I've been told, by NewGuy. Then I shot him. He was lookin' at me strange. Of course, everyone at Popeye's Chicken looks strange in those little uniforms...

"seacrest in" "seacrest out"

Nothing says GAY like eating nachos and watching Oprah every day!

@50

What about when someone fucks your balloon knot like nobody's business? Doesn't that say GAY?

I cant believe this guy is famous, I would pay money to see him get his ass kicked preferably by a midget.

Look at that photo. He has DEFINITLY had eye work done. He and Teri Hatcher weren't kissing, they were comparing surgery scars.

#25 - I hope you're being serious because that's really what my life was like 'cause my effen mom wouldn't get cable. I grew up with, like, 5 channels to watch. But, I watched Golden Girls in college cause I drank heavily and I thought it was funny.

maybe he looks older than 31 because he has to get up everyday at 4 to do the radio show at 5-10 and then he has to go work for E for which he is a producerand then he has to work for American Idol..

the man works 3 jobs! give him credit that he works his ass off!! he's good at what he does... gay or not

53 Suzy so how long have you seacrestly been in love with this Fag?

so funny... ha.ha.

and i prefer not to call anyone a bundle of sticks, that's rude.... even on this site

and God forbid me try to give my opinion

it's what this site is all about right?

#55 ... Seacrest is the most banal, cookie-cutter "personality" on radio/television. I would rather have dental surgery than watch his old show. He makes Billy Bush look like Walter Cronkite.

Don't knock the Golden Girls. Those bitches rock.

Stop or My Mom Will Shoot!

Me just try be funny, you right though that what it about, me so sorry......I was Sean Prestoned as a baby...........

Seacrest was an athlete? I didn't think playing "grab ass" on a football field counted.

haha, best post of the week. Seriously though, you don't even need to dig dirt up on this guy, he gives it to you.

@54

Dude, I'm totally serious. I forgot, we also used to catch that game show, Classic Concentration, occasionally. I totally loved Golden Girls, which was bizarre cause that was about from ages 10-14. I also hated it, for the following reasons: it always made me want to eat cheesecake and we'd never have any on hand, Bea Arthur's voice made me want to shove skewers in my ears, and, lastly, they called the porch a "lanai".

Those Golden Girls sure knew how to dress.

#61 I think the sports he played were Gobble the Weiner and Hide the Fingers.
That, and maintaining the most-heavily trafficked gloryhole in West Hollywood.

As a chilld, my favorite was Blanche because she was a total hooker. Plus, she kinda reminds me of my grandmother who is herself a Georiga peach. I was scared of Ruth because there was something about her (that's before I knew what a lesbian was). Mamacita, you were lucky to get Concentration. I was stuck with Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? and Jeopardy (because it's smarter than Wheel of Fortune).
I am glad to hear that there were others who endured similar hardships. Was anyone else here sent to bed hungry every night?

I'm pretty sure that Ryan PeeCrust is still a homo.

#66 - You had a bed? You spoiled little cunt.

@66

My favorite was totally Sophia. Did you ever see that episode where someone died (don't remember who) and they were at the funeral home to plan shit and the funeral director's name was Mr. Pfeiffer, but the P wasn't silent? And then, he said something to piss Sophia off and she goes "Hey, Mr. P-feiffer, how would you like a punch in your p-face?". Ahhh yeah, good times, noodle salad. I read over my post in an effort to avoid misspellings and typos and I just realized that it is SO SAD that I remember that so clearly. And no, I never went to bed hungry. However, on weekends, my dad would make me, my brother, and sister walk along the side of the road collecting cans while he drove along behind us in the van. Our incentive? We got to keep half of the "profit" to split 3 ways. Which was awesome, considering that the going rate back then was $2.00 a lb. Do you KNOW how many soda cans it takes to make up a lb????? I'm not joking about this can thing. I'm completely serious.

He seems like a straight guy. Until he opens his mouth and all the cocks fall out...

68 - You guys had a van? Well, la-di-da princess, I bet you were homecoming queen, too.

We didn't have cable in BF Iowa when I grew up. I had to watch PBS, the only channel that came in clearly. Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, and Lawrence Welk, baby. And Dr. Who reruns on weekends.

Classic Concentration? Was that the one hosted by Alex Trebeck where the contestants had to solve some weird symbol puzzle? The only thing I remember about that show was that the set included a staircase of cars .... a staircase!

Oh yeah, Dorothy has always been my favorite Golden Girl. No one messed with that bitch and lived to tell about it.

Anyone remember how the Golden Girls briefly had a gay cook at the beginning of season one? Talk about being ahead of the curve.

You guys remember Magnum PI? Tom Selleck is a sexy son of a bitch. The food associated with that show would be pork chops with a gin and tonic.

What an annoying turd...I really did think he was gay until the whole Teri thing. Now I think he's even grosser...

Oooh, what a life you had, Mamacita! You should change your name to Miss Hoity Toity. We had a car like the Flintstones, you know, without a floorboard. To this day, my feet look like Barrney Rubble's.

I think I've said it before, but no shit my dad looks just like Tom Selleck.

@70 and 76

Girls, listen to this crazy shit. My mom had a Hyundai Excel (hatchback, woo!) and it was a lemon from day one. Well, at one point, it became necessary to pour gas on the carburetor (that's right) for the car to start. Well, me and my sister were in the car before school with the hood up and my mom had already done the gas trick, but had left the hood up while she started the car. So, it started and my mom went inside to get something and to tell my brother to come on. About 2 minutes later, my mom comes out and immediately starts screaming "Get out!!! Get out of the car!!!!", so we get out and what do you think? The car was on fire!!!!!!! So, after that little incident, we had to use our "backup vehicle" which was super cool. It was a tiny Datsun truck that used to be my uncles. My uncle was a Marine so he decided that he wanted his truck to be camoflauge. So, he painted it camoflauge. With auto paint, you say? No, with regular latex paint. So, we had this extremely dull-finished camoflauge truck that also rocked neon pink windshield wipers. Well, on the way to school, my mom shifted (it had one of those really long gearshifts that went straight into the floor instead of a console thingy) and the entire gearshift just came out of the floor. There we were, stuck at a 4-way stop sign and 2 of the most popular guys in school roll up behind us and have to push us off to the side of the road. THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!! Yes, my life ruled and I am still a spoiled rotten bitch. This story cracks me up every time I think of it.

76 - Does your dad like porkchops?