Apr 10 2006Ryan Cabrera goes to the pool

Tan body. White face. That's about the only interesting comment I can think of.

In other "who gives a shit" news, Paris Hilton has another herpes simplex 69 sore on her lip.

poor girl is balding. look at that second pic.

quite an improvement from Ashley Simpson....he just needs to do something with that sonic the hedgehog hair

One word comes to mind...

Gay.

I must be officialy old, because I have zero idea who this douche is.

You know it is a SLOW newsday when this crap is the best you can come up with.

I have waited all weekend, and all morning like a fiend for fresh celeb news and mockery.. this is what I get.. the shame..

Ty is happy to show the unspoilt daughter of the proud and grateful home owner how he glued those pretty tiles on the bathroom wall all by himself.

In response to #6 - this dude used to go out with Ashlee Simpson and I think that is about it.

To Ryan: Sid Vicious called from the dead and is pissed-off. He wants his hairstyle back, it looks better on him than you.

It is disgusting that your hair looks the exact same wet or dry? That is some powerful Elmer's he is using in his hair. To think I used to make Bogey balls in grade school with that stuff...who would've thought it is a powerful hair gel.

I'd hit it.

Oh wait.

Hah hah.

That's the dipshit who got a career by mooching off the Simpsons (Jessica and Ashlee, not the cartoons).

he looks like he has boobies...

BOOBIES...

officially he's not really famous, but his hair is...same is true of spindoc....the hair thing...not the boobies...

Not exactly the hard hitting thesuperficial we know and love.

"Well....we're waiting." ala Judge Smails

#9 Love the tile comment.

I'm not really sure about the point of this story on here. Oh well, tom Cruise loves Anal.

They look like fish kissing.

Tom Cruise takes it the ass in other news worthy news..

#15 You almost made me spit soda out my nose.

Oh, we are still going with that hairstyle, Ryan?

This would be so much cooler, if she was drowning him, or vice versa.....
Why can't these two be missing in Aruba?

#8--U 2???? I'M GLAD I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH A RUINED DAY!!!

if you click on the "Source" next to the photo, and then "back to profile", you:

a) learn that the picture has been on myspace since the end of January;

b) can see that the girl in question might have had a boob job;

c) have absoluely no life at all. Like me

I hate this douchebag. I hate that whenever she was around him, Ashlee Simpson would talk like a two year old. Saying things like "Fwower" instead of "flower".
His hair is retarded. His face makes me want to punch it.

From the looks of the first picture, I think it's safe to assume he was holding a toaster in the water a one point.

I thought he was a big star, so why the fuck is he swimming at the local YMCA? I hope the girl he is with tells him the bottom of the pool smells like strawberries and he decides to go down and sniff really hard and then drowns. Because the headline "Ryan Cabrera drowns at local YMCA" isn't nearly as funny as:

"Ryan Cabrera drowns at a local YMCA because he was stupid enough to listen to some 17 year-old desperatly trying to lose her virginity to a celebrity that told him the bottom of the pool smells like strawberries and he was idiot enough to try and smell it."
I hope everyone had a great weekend.

Who is he again?

ryan was once on ryan seacrest radio show.. seacrest gave him some condoms for his bday..and cabrera.. gets quiet..and says something like... these are two small.. i only use magnums..lol

When you're famous, aren't you just supposed to go around doing crazy, kick-ass things that 'normal people' can't afford? Like buying and wrecking BMW after BMW? Hanging out in the pool at Embassy Suites definitely ups his douche factor.
Fast forward two years and Ryan will have mysteriously morphed into Ashley Parker Angel.

Argh! His hair laughs in the face of gravity!

Look at his face in pic #1. He's glowing, he positively radiates. Even a blind man's gaydar would be going haywire around this guy. And the pics were probably staged/posted to quelch any rumors of him being a big Tom Cruise fan.

#26 - It'd be more fitting if he was pictured kissing Ryan Secrest on a Malibu beach - you've opened the door with the condom thing, but I'm at work so someone else can walk through that!

Ryan Cabrera's MySpace hot tub pictures with some girl named Amber, or maybe Staci - you can't make this stuff up, people.

OshKosh, her name is actually Lacey, but she apparently likes to be called "Lace" for shirt. What a dizzy broad. Yes, as #22 says, I have no life. Additionally, I think it's funny that she posted these pictures, but on her myspace profile, one of the interests she lists is "God".

#24 - That's the same line I use to pick up guys at Monster Truck rallies, but replace "bottom of pool" with vagina, and "strawberries" with pizza. Works like a charm.

Is he wearing lipstick?....Or is that just some of Tom Cruise's Menstral Blood that he forgot to wash off?

for those who don't know....

Ryan was the inspiration for Ashlee Simpson's song "pieces of you" because they were dating when Ashlee "wrote" it.

Further he had a hilarious failed MTV series about songwriting where his catchphrase was "snaps"

And he is very short so his hair sticks up an extra 6 inches.

oh, and I guess he has a few albums out

mamacita - Other names I would have picked for her: Desiree, Mercedes, Chandi, Steph, or maybe Mysstiiey.
Other items on her list of interests are probably: Fun, Boyz, Shopping, Luv, Hugz, Hollister, Abercrombie, Nietzsche, Microbial Genomes, and Ice Cream!!!

I think he had two popular songs. He has not done anything else other than have sex with Ashlee Simpson.

ryan was once on ryan seacrest radio show.. seacrest gave him some condoms for his bday..and cabrera.. gets quiet..and says something like... these are two small.. i only use magnums..Seacrest gets quiet and then says something like, but they fit you last night when we were having anal sundaes....

don't ask because I have no idea either, it just fit (sundaes)

OshKosh, I would also have thought of the following names: Destiny, Peaches, Rachelle, Alicia or Alesha, Kristi, and Nikole. Oh, and the "e" at the end of Nikole would have an inappropriately placed accent mark somewhere in there. I'm pretty sure "cuddles" was somewhere on that list of interests, too. Seriously.

Totally.

Fuck that, I'd be making out with twelve year olds in a pool if I was Ryan Cablahdiblah.

hey Itallian Stallion.. we were both listening to it.. lol # 26.. but i 4got the end of the conversation

Dude, this guys is a loser. No one would know who the hell he is if he hadn't have been Ashlee Simpsons guitarist.

What a pawn!

and he's 26 years old. dude, grow up.

jose608

Glad I could help out...lol
This shit is so boring today, i'm actually getting alot of work done!!

And no offense, but I wouldn't be caught dead listening to Seacrest radio....sorry

Ryan who?

Pshh, guys, you forgot all about !*~sTaCieE-4-U~*!, *xxx*CaNdiE*xxx*, and >~!*!!omg-sTePhieS!!*!~<

I need to quit my job and re enroll in first grade. My intellegence has been completely wiped out by visiting that twat's myspace. People who use an excessive amount of exclamation points or added letters should be dragged behind a horse. What a frickin' idiot. If I were to send her a message she'd think I knew her soooo well because I know she likes to drink and think she's sexy as hell.

WHAT?! He's 26 freaking years old????
I was cutting the kid some slack because I thought he was precisely that - a KID. Like, seventeen or something. He certainly looks it. And acts it. And sounds it. Oh this is just sad, I feel weird and sorry for him now.

OMGS I lost 15 precious minutes of my sad life looking at cheerleader pics and spring break funtimes *sigh*

"The Faggot & the Teenage, Drunken Whore"
New reality series on MTV.

Did anyone else notice that she lists "To Be Famous" as a goal of hers? She's going places & getting a big foot in the door by "making out" with this joker.

it helps that he is semi-famous because if I had hair like that, I still wouldn't have reached second base.

it helps that he is semi-famous because if I had hair like that, I still wouldn't have reached second base.

Back in the 1700's they would dipped his hair in ink and drafted constitutions and laws and shit of that nature.

Then they would have stoned him to death for having bitch-tits, being translucent, and for that "On the Way Down" song.

I hope he one day has a kid just so it could fall down a well.

Another reason why Myspace fails at life.

Who did they convince to take a picture of them sucking on each other faces? Why would anyone want to take a picture of that? "Here's a picture of my ditzy friend playing tongue-hockey with some washed-up has-been hedgehog boy." There's one for the scrapbook.

I, too, once took a picture of Ryan Carrera.

http://www.jimpoz.com/quotes/images/speakers/diller.jpg

Staci: "C'mon Ryan, I'll give you $10 if you let my friend take a picture of us kissing."

Ryan: (thinking -- my publicist did say it would be a good idea if I am seen with females, and I am broke and untalented...) "OK, Stace, make it $25 and you've got a deal."

Staci: "OMG!"

....Just...Don't...Touch...The...Hair....

Is it just me or does this guy have man teats?

Hansel. He's so hot right now.

First post ever...

How is it that the girls hair is wet, but the dudes gay ass spiky bleached blonde rats nest isn't. Theyre in a pool, correct? Christ..

hmmmmm...simpy looking little smile...like he's farting in the bathtub and truly enjoying the scented bubbles. I think she is,too.

Did anyone notice that she listed "coloring books" on her list of favorite books? A true intellectual...

I would have guessed her name to be either Staci, MacKenzie, Sierra, Krystina, Jade, or Meghan. I could have seen her with any of those.

PapaHotNuts, you are awesome!!! Everything you write is unparalleled wisdom. I truly worship you! *bowing*

Oh, and Tom Cruise loves the cock.

yeh yeh his hair is funny.. haha. but AINT HE WITH JESS OR LISA FROM THE VERONICAS!!??

CHEATER
HAHA

yeh yeh his hair is funny.. haha. but AINT HE WITH JESS OR LISA FROM THE VERONICAS!!??

CHEATER
HAHA

Anyone notice this on her profile?

"If your not in college you should Go because you will have the time of your LIFE"

If YOU'RE in college you can generally spell at an 8th grade level. Looks like she and Ryan are an IQ match.

Ryan Cabrera-- what a parasite. And a douche. I bet he and Seacrest have parasite-douche contests all the time. And sex, I bet they have that too... ;)

He looks like the BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG out..and whats with that fag hairdo..WHAT A TOOL!!!
And yes i am Aussie and EVERYONE here knows hes been dating Lisa from the Veronicas for a while now WHAT A DOG. she even had an interview talking about theyre relationship and how much they were in luurrve...HA HA

I have to say her myspace page gave me a good laugh. Like #50 said, to be famous. Hmm... future porn star?

I noticed she was on-line when I was looking at the picts, lets see if she turns the profile private or publicizes it even more. $10 says she wants to make out Volchok.

Wow what a loser

Hey at least he's kissing a girl. Kinda surprised me. She probably has a brother he's secretly into.

His tits are bigger than mine.
That's hot.

Isn't she kind of fat to be a cheerleader?

and isn't Lacey fat too?

I want to take a pair of clippers to this cum-bubble's head. What a douche. Does he sing or something, I mean who the eff is he anyway? Oh yeah, he banged Jessica Simpleton's sister (another nobody). Guys like these make me proud to love cats like Clive Owen and Eric Bana.

ok i have never been on this page until now and now i know why... Ya'll are pathetic losers..you dont know lacey..she isnt a twat..loser(liek ya'll), she doesnt have a boob job..its allll natural! and she def isnt fat she is the hottest thing at VSU..go get a life and stop talking about people you have never even met....

Wow #74 you are RIGHT! and you are LACEY!

If you want to be famous, you are going to have to deal with people calling you fat and a twat and fake titties and retarded for kissing Ryan whats-his-face.

Enjoy your 2 minutes of FAME!

His hair sucks.

Yeah, yeah, two chicks kissing in a hot tub. Nothing we haven't seen before. The one on the right looks like she's get some knobs though.

74 - she's the hottest thing at VSU? Maybe at the College of Arts and Fat Homely Sluts.

wow.
Maybe before you all talk like you know exactly what you're talking about you'll verify that you do actually know what you're talking about next time.
Ryan is 23. Not 26.
Have any of you met the guy? Chances are, you haven't. I have. And I can tell you that he was one of the sweetest guys I've ever met in my life.
And before you're so quick to talk, no I do not know the girl in the pictures.
He also was not dating Lisa from the Veronicas at the time that these pictures were taken.