Apr 7 2006Paula Abdul got beat up
Paula Abdul filed a police report on Tuesday claiming she had been a victim of battery at a private party over the weekend. Police Lt. Paul Vernon said in a statement yesterday:
"According to Abdul, the man at the party argued with her, grabbed her by the arm and threw her against a wall. She said she had sustained a concussion and spinal injuries."
Beating women up is pretty serious, but I can't help but think Paula just fell down the stairs or something. Considering how intoxicated she gets on American Idol, I can only imagine what it's like at an actual party. I picture slurred words, a lot of stumbing around, and falling through at least one or two tables.
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Reader Comments
1. CheekyChops - April 7, 2006 9:45 AM
maybe a kick to the head would have fixed her back to normal.
2. gsprescueguy - April 7, 2006 9:45 AM
Darn...I was hoping to get to her first!!
3. CheekyChops - April 7, 2006 9:49 AM
I think Arsenio Hall did that.
4. Nimuë LaMer - April 7, 2006 9:53 AM
Simon finally had ENOUGH!
5. hotintempe - April 7, 2006 9:55 AM
Someone just got tired of her talking nonsense and slurring and thought they would give her one upside the head.
6. tlcccc123 - April 7, 2006 9:57 AM
Clearly someone smacked her after she stood there, whimpering over the buffet table and unable to make a timely decision as to which apps were the lowest in fat.
7. sweetcheeks - April 7, 2006 10:01 AM
Did anyone see her blubbering on Dr. Phil? It was so shameful that I couldn't watch the entire episode. She REALLY gets snotty when those tears start flowing.
That's right, I love Dr. Phil. Do your worst.
8. cardio - April 7, 2006 10:02 AM
#2, you're reading my mind. Why is she even on the show? And stop telling me how to vote!! Somebody has to get kicked off every week, which means somebody has to be in the bottom three. It's simple math. I love how she acts like "we" got it wrong (as if I vote anyway). At least Simon had the nuts to say he thought Man-Diesel was going home.
9. tits_on_snack - April 7, 2006 10:11 AM
Paula Abdul dresses her dogs up in little designer outfits. I'd give her spinal cord injuries if I had to witness that too.
10. boredmilf - April 7, 2006 10:15 AM
Was she picking on Tom's space aliens again?... Bulley.
11. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh - April 7, 2006 10:16 AM
OK, I did it. But it started out as playful wrastling - I shouldn't have smoked all that PCP. Sorry, Paula.
12. playahater101 - April 7, 2006 10:26 AM
If she really got beat up and really got injured, then that's wrong. BUT if I'm not mistaken, wasn't she under suspicion not too long ago of abusing pain killers? She seems to me the type that gets bumped lightly and all of a sudden she has a broken arm and is wearing a cast. In order for her to have gotten a concussion and spinal damage, he would have been pushing and slamming her into walls repeatedly. She looked fine on American Idol and this happened last weekend. Wouldn't someone have stopped him? I think she's one of those people who loves a pitty party. I guess he supposedly did it b/c he didn't like her attitude towards him.
13. eastboundanddown - April 7, 2006 10:29 AM
Wow. Clay Aiken is going to extreme lengths to dispel those rumors that he's gay. Now he's beating up chicks.
14. Blaze - April 7, 2006 10:32 AM
I'd of kicked her ass if I had the chance!
but I'm an angry person..
hahahahahaha LMAO
15. ferret1 - April 7, 2006 10:32 AM
According to other witnesses at the scene, it was Corey Clark who did the beating. But when asked by police to identify the former Idol contestant, Paula screamed, "No, I do not know that man at all, and I still didn't sleep with him!".
16. senin - April 7, 2006 10:38 AM
Let's send her over to Iraq. That'll teach those fuckers...
17. PapaHotNuts - April 7, 2006 10:47 AM
It's obvious she was beaten with a full prescription of Loritab and a half scrip of Percocet. Then to finish her off, a gallon of Red Bull and Yager was forced down her throat. She has more drugs in her than a Wal-Greens pharmacy, and I have to be honest, I like it.
18. Lala - April 7, 2006 10:51 AM
The moth with the cornflake did it.
19. Italian Stallion - April 7, 2006 11:01 AM
I asked if she wanted a Strawberry Milkshake, and she said yes, what was I to do?
POW, right in the fucking kisser, I guess technically it was a Mulatto Strawberry Milkshake.......
20. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh - April 7, 2006 11:05 AM
Hmm. It's spelled "Jager". I would know because I wake up to an empty bottle every mid-afternoon.
21. jennifer11 - April 7, 2006 11:18 AM
i think this finally proves once and for all: there IS a god!
and HE is so good.
22. PapaHotNuts - April 7, 2006 11:24 AM
#20 Osh- I buy mine at the flea market and the spell it Yager- I buy the off-brand. I also like Milar Lite and Korona.
23. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh - April 7, 2006 11:29 AM
Mmmmmmmm... off-brand moonshine. *sound of Homer Simpson drooling*
24. BigJim - April 7, 2006 11:40 AM
OK, I admit it. It was me. But she asked me to do it so her doc would perscribe more Percocet. I was just getting into when Randy Jackson walked in and thought I was some kind of rapist. He pulled out his Glock nine, holding it sideways, and said, "Dog, I'm gonna bust a cap in yo bitch ass!" And he did.
I'm suing Paula for pain and suffering, cuz getting shot in the ass hurts like a sumbitch.
25. lowtalker - April 7, 2006 11:50 AM
Well, I can only imagine that this should at least make the rest of this season of A.I. more interesting. You know, due to the fact that she will use this incident to pop many a pain pill. Yessss!
26. Spindoc - April 7, 2006 12:21 PM
#12, EXACTLY, this is an excuse so she can get more drugs. The producers are coming down on her because of her behavior and now she has an excuse to pop more pills.
27. sometimesboy - April 7, 2006 12:54 PM
again...story taken out of context..by 'victem of battery' she meant that someone stole her vibrator....from right there under her....oh, you get the picture...
28. wickedwomyn - April 7, 2006 2:07 PM
Were there no eyewitnesses to such savagery? If there were they were probably cheering the alleged beater on. Sounds like a scheme to get more perscription drugs to me!
29. bjpack - April 7, 2006 2:07 PM
The man in question was Rosie O'Donnell whose contact lenses had fallen out and she somehow mistook Paula for Nicole Campbell.
30. bjpack - April 7, 2006 2:08 PM
#29, who the hell is Nicole Campbell. Did you mean Naomi by any chance? Other than that, your posts are usually hilarious!
31. Spindoc - April 7, 2006 2:17 PM
If you wrung out Paula Abdul's face you would have enough botox to paralyze every rioter over in France right now. The woman looks like a Marionette puppet.
32. gogoboots - April 7, 2006 3:12 PM
Hmmm, interesting in a somewhat random way. She must have been totally wasted and imagined that some guy attacked her.
33. M - April 7, 2006 3:32 PM
Id be interested in seeing the actual police report.
" ..the corn flake, and and the salad, chased the pizza, and then the fly..."
Paula calm down please give me your statement.
"I cant Simons whispering in my ear again."
34. URalllosers - April 7, 2006 6:28 PM
#29 very funny don't listen to #30 that wet blanket needs to shut up.
Yeah women getting beat up and then blamed for the assault! Oh yeah, there is a god, and it is a man...baby.
35. sirokai - April 7, 2006 7:24 PM
What kind of celebrity lets a random guy beat her up? This woman is dumb.
36. bunnyhugger - April 7, 2006 8:28 PM
i wanna know who her doc is. it took a full 7 hours of surgery for me to get the good drugs : )
i *heart* my pharmacist!
37. beeotch - April 7, 2006 10:34 PM
I think Paula starts pounding xanax the minute American Idol starts. If you pay attention you can watch her start to slump more, hit Simon more frequently, and she is slurring like a drunken sailor by the end of the hour. I still can't believe singers take advice and criticism from the woman who brought us gems like "Straight Up" and ...wait were there other songs besides that train wreck?
38. here - April 8, 2006 1:09 AM
Bitch has bad hygiene.
39. gogoboots - April 8, 2006 2:47 PM
She had too many shitty songs to bear, we have to forget them all in order to go on with our lives!
40. disneyonice - April 9, 2006 5:41 AM
This story makes me so very happy
I really, really dislike Paula Abdul...
41. KidLoco - April 9, 2006 2:19 PM
This is all very well ridiculing her.. I don't personally like her at all. But if a guy was violent with her, it isn't too wise to trivilise the issue.
42. junebug - April 10, 2006 3:49 AM
Oh who cares. For all we know she probably deserved it. I mean if she was being a drunken belligerent bitch, I'd punch her in the face too.
43. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh - April 10, 2006 10:54 AM
Mmmmmm.... mulatto strawberry milkshake.... arrggggggglllllllll.....
44. mamacita - April 10, 2006 11:24 AM
@29 and 30
Seriously, are you schizophrenic? That's the 2nd time I've seen you correct yourself as if you were a separate person. Maybe it's time to get back on the Risperdal. Or, do like OshKosh and PapaHotNuts and get some Jager. Or Yager. Whichever is easiest for you. Matter of fact, try the Jager/Yager WITH the Risperdal. That should make for some exciting posts!