Apr 10 2006Paris Hilton is the shit

HAH! someone's full of shit, as usual

Wow! I never realized she was so talented at other things besides exposing herself and getting drunk and contracting social diseases! Now I understand why guys want to sleep with her. Thanks for clearing that up, Paris.

An additional plus is that not only can you have sex with her vagina, but there are multiple herpes lacerations to choose from as well! Yay! Three cheers for the Herp!

I am a singer, and I sing a lot of Mozart, and somehow I think Paris might fall a little short in the vocal department...or in being great at anything that doesn't include getting naked and acting stupid. But then again, Mozart never had herpes so I guess she beats him at something after all.

"The envelope, please."

"And the award for International Miss Congeniality 2006 goes to......(drumroll)........Paris Hilton's vagina!!!"

"Unfortunately, Paris's vagina could not be here to accept this award, so Lindsay Lohan's will be accepting it on Paris's behalf."

Um, #4, Mozart didn't sing....he was a composer....no words.

Please, it's hard enough listening to Paris. If her nethers start speaking...

Her ego is so big you could use it as a pool float. Maybe she should hook up with K-Fed once he blows all of Brtittney's $$$. Neither of them are picky about sex partners and they both think they can sing. Sounds like a match made in Hell.
OOOH, I just had the image of what their kid might look like. Do you think Listerine would work as an eyewash? I keep seeing a baby in a fedora with a horrable herpes rash...ugh!

When the worldwide boycott of this bitch starts, someone pleae sign me up.

#6--DivaG81 probably meant she sings a lot of Mozart--as in "The Magic Flute", etc.

Wow, Paris is sooo multi-talented, it's a real shame she cheapens herself with her daily antics. What an inflated ego!

Thanks #10, but I don't think you were harsh enough on retarded little #6. Mozart's Magic Flute is one of the greatest Operas ever written, and I'm pretty sure that most, if not all of the Queen of the Night's arias have words...please someone, take "little_miss_perfect" to lincon center...

Oh, and Paris Hilton is a desease ridden whore who doesn't deserve this much attention.

I don't think I've ever wanted to punch her in the throat as much as I do at this moment. I mean, I always want to punch her in the throat, just not THIS much. What a dumb bitch.

If she's greater than Mozart, and Mozart died of Mercury poisoning in efforts to cure his syphilis, what will Paris die of?

Is Paris Hilton attractive? Not really. Is she a badass who can apparently do everything? If she says so! Now I don't feel guilty having her picture plastered all over my room.

#13 Zovirax poisoning? I can only hope although I was thinking she deserves something bloodier.

Um.. yeah... #6, perhaps you're not aware that composers often compose music with "words" like operas for example (re #s 10 and 11). Or I guess you haven't heard what is probably his most widely recognizable piece, "Requiem." Yeah... it has words. Easier and cheaper than going to the Lincoln Center, just rent Amadeus.

Anyway, I definitely have a hard time imagining Paris stretching that perpetually monotone, oh-so-blase voice into anything that resembles "singing".

Paris Hilton and her crack-whore mother and sister annoy me more than a persistent toenail fungus. take away her fake contact lenses,hair extensions,and capped teeth and you got a transsexual Chewbacca-looking clown prostitute. Screw the illegal immigration issues..somebody find a way to deport her and her syphillis to Osama Bin Laden's bedroom.

I have to admit, I heard 1 song from her album, and I do think she has a good voice, as far a a pop star is concerned....

Listen to "Screwed", it not THAT bad:

http://uslessthings.blogspot.com/2006/03/paris-hilton-songs.html

So many things to comment about on this one.
What's with the color of her hair in this pic? Is it just a bad photo job?
I could only imagine what Paris is singing about. Maybe how many guys she has slept with...and given herpes to. I don't think she could fit all of those names on one album. Perhaps a compilation is in the works.
I have drawn my own thoery that Paris Hilton's vagina has actually been used so much that it has collapsed into itself thus turning into a black whole. Only this black whole has a colony of man eating herpes that feed off all the man meat her vag sucks in. Like a big ugly vacuum effect.
Oh and by the way #1 if by full of shit you mean diseases and sperm then you are correct.

Here's another outstanding quote from Paris, 'My acting coach told me that I have a similar style of acting to Charlize Theron, so we may end up vying for the same parts.' Puh-hahahaha!! She needs to be locked away! Clearly her syphillis has advanced to the mentally insane stage, or is that gonorrhea? Meh, BOTH!

Wow...#19 I agree. She does have a good voice. I think I would prefer listening to that instead of Britney Spears. But could you imagine how that flock of preteen girl fans would turn out. Sad. Either way really. Paris teaches them to not latch on to anybody, but to get STD's and be stick skinny. Or Britney teaches them to latch onto anything you can somewhat call a man and produce child after child. Turning themselves into fat trashy looking people while doing it.
Please note, before I get all kinds of backlash, I am not suggesting in any way that having more that one child, having children while young, or having children in general makes you trashy. It does make you fat for a while but you work it off. That is if you don't continue to stuff your face with cheetos.

"I’m a brand, a model, an artiste, an actress, a designer. I write books."

a brand of shit
a model of pigeon shit
an artiste of her ass
an actress who can't act
a designer with no sense of style

and she can't write... i bet she told someone what to write.. can she even read?

#18- i listened to her song and i'm honestly not too impressed. i thought it would have been better since nowadays anyone can be a singer as long as you have money and good back-up singers. not surprisingly, it doesn't even sound like her singing..

I'd like to 2nd #17's motion!

If I ever have a daughter, It's going to happen right after Paris dies. I can't stand to think that my poor children might actually have to set eyes on such a heinous and grossly disturbing human being(if you can call her human).
The pop culture phenomena this immature "paris" girl is leaving in her wake is disturbing at the least. For your sake. For your children's sake. Stay away from the skank!
Cause that's exactly what this world needs, all the prissy little teenage girls trying to act like Paris Hilton and have sex with anything that moves. And by anything that moves, I mean ANYTHING.

I supsect Ms. Hilton has a lot of experience with The Magic Flute. Or the skin flute, whichever.

And she doesn't look at pilled-up in that picture.

franz ferdinand is the shit

hehe! wait in that 'caught up in the rapture' song of hers, the rapper calls her a GOLD-DIGGER!! ...so what is it you were saying again ms hilton?! dumb infested cunt!

"I write books."

Certainly nothing of consequence.

#15 - Zovirax - that hurts. And it hurts so good. I was thinking she'd end up exploding from a massive yeast buildup, but you took the cake.

I heard K-Fed has been hired as her music producer/choreographer.

Whoever posted that song and said it is anything beyond complete shit is an idiot and represents everything I hate about the world.

There is nothing good about that song. No, seriously, her voice is just fine, but that doesn't mean she should ever be allowed to open her mouth for anything except a blow job.

shes ugly and untalented. she wouldnt be anywhere if it wasnt for the sex tape

Anyone can sing better than Britney. I like the title of her song "Screwed". It is fitting because she's a walking poster for STD prevention.

A couple of years ago, I actually wanted to get a little pussy from Paris Hilton. Then I finally saw it, I knew that there was no way to a get a little pussy from Paris, only a huge pussy, bigger than a catcher's mitt, but you can only fit five fingers in a catcher's mitt, and they don't tend to turn black and rot off when you put them in the glove.

Paris Hilton writes books. And Oprah is a young, poor, white girl from Russia. And the Saints will win the SuperBowl next year. And Paltrow's baby will be the baddest motherfucker on the streets of Compton. And I love my ex-wife.

Somebody else make some more shit up. It's fun and everyone here is hilarious. I actually mean that.

I have a question... like, when she says this stuff, is she actually serious? Or is she saying it b/c she knows it pisses people off? I'd really love to know.

Ok, Ryan Seacrest kisses women....the Orioles are gonna win the world series....Tom Cruise is a Christian....Jessica Simpson knows something.....Michael Jackson never touched those Children...Oh, and George Bush loves black people........

Oh my God this festering skank is fouling up my monitor, I have to get a HazMat team here STAT!

I forgot one more, Paris Hilton can sing.....ok i'm done.....sorry

@36

Michael Jackson didn't molest those children. He made love to them. OK, OK, I know that's horribly wrong, but I saw it on a t-shirt. Offensive, yes, but still funny.

Kanye West is a modest man...........Mission Impossible:3 will be an awesome movie.............Pancakes are yucky.............Egg salad smells grrrrrreat............and Teri Hatcher looks very dewy and fresh-faced

#34 and #36, you guys are awesome! She is a mess. I wish her parents would file for bankruptcy , so she can finally become the piece of white trash she has always aspired to be...I can see her already, with her prescription for Valtrex and Zovirax all crumpled in her hand waiting in the long clinic line. Well, as my Grandpa used to say money doesn't buy class...
ps Tom Cruise is still loving the cock.

Paris Sings the Blues.

Its her next big hit. Its inspired by the bruises she gets all over her disgusting, anemic body while being punished fucked by the kitchen staff at the Hilton New Orleans Riverside. She's got a book and movie deal and a line of crotchless panties coming out too. She's amazing.

I LOVE THE SUPERFICIAL, OSHKOSH, PAPAHOTNUTS, AND TOM CRUISE'S COCK-LOVING, WITHERED, PSYCHOTIC LITTLE MUG!!

k this is my first post ever and I'm REALLY excited. Paris Ho-town's hair is apparently E-Z cheese. Obviously the abundance of taco cheese is spilling out of her hair follicles. E-Z cheese rox my sox, TOM CRUISE LOVES THE COX!!

ACK, she actually believes that she is the shit?! She's been grossly misinformed to confuse having a huge vagina with talent, with being an artiste, model, writer, etc. What causes me much anxiety is that she gets paid TOO MUCH to have such little brains, talent, grace, intelligence, etc...it makes me believe that this world is unfair and awards icky fake blonde chicks like this everyday in order to spite me....SIGH!

sorry I meant to say I agreed with #18. Not agreeing with myself.

She has a single entitled *Screwed*...why...oh why...

lil-miss-perfect, #6, better be like 12 years old or something NOT to have heard of "Operas."

i'm deeply saddened.

for future reference, lil'-miss, when someone refers to vast experience with something YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT, always defer! defer!
you can google it later, rather than write an irretrievable and unfortunate post bearing your name.

oh and keanu reeves is a talented actor who does not in any way resemble an iguana.

(am I allowed to join in on my first post?)

Hmm.. if there's one thing I've learned from all these posts it's that there's little that Americans (I assume most of the posters are American?) hate more than promiscuity in a woman and being filthy, stinking rich. And yet she still gets book deals, movie deals, and album deals... and people buy it. Americans are a strange bunch.

#6 Mozart composed OPERAS. Why does everyone insist on being snotty, trying to point out everyone's grammar errors, knowledge etc. and then come off as looking like fools. You aren't proving to be brainiacs guys..

Please, it's hard enough listening to Paris. If her nethers start speaking...

delirium its just as confusing to me as an American as it is to everyone else who isn't American, believe me! she looks really bad in that picture it must be like 5 years old!

OK, having never heard Paris Hilton speak, (I'm in Australia, come here if you don't want to actually LISTEN to her, just look at the fugly pictures), I wanted to hear her sing, so I clicked on #18's link.

I am now offically deaf and am very thankful for the relief.

BTW, since no producer in their right mind would work with her, how much did she pay (i.e. suck off) someone to make that into the monstrosity it is?

PS - Tom loves the cock. (Just wanted to join in the fun)

"I write books." Um Paris? IT'S CALLED BEING AN AUTHOR.

She is such a fucktard.

she does and forever will look like a pigeon

http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/images11/PigeonWhiteexotic%20pigeon.jpg

Thanks Stallion for keeping it going. Your posts always are fucking great.

And I guess I have to say it, Tom Cruise loves the cock.

And hello to pepper brooks, not sure how you feel about cock, but you're no longer a Superficial virgin.

Man, you guys are cold. I tell ya, she's OK to look at (sometimes - the photo above notwithstanding) and probably no worse a singer than any other no-talent slut-star these days.
Lay off, OK? Why'oncha pick on someone who deserves it, like Lohan or Spears or Ashlee (leave Jessica alone tho).

go paris!! comparing herself to a classical music great. yeh i have heard her sing.. oddly enuf she dosent sound like herself when she sings.. uno deep voiced.

#18 that is the worst, most over produced piece of crap ever! Damn, I can't believe I listened to it! My head hurts now..

what an ignorant bitch. if she was broke as shit the world would be far better off...

hahaha #57, slight difference

those artists actually build up some form of reputation before immersing themselves into the popstar spotlight. also, neither of those said artists have relied purely on production. can you imaging a paris hilton concert? it would upon a portal to hell if it ever happened.

and ill add onto that as well (3 times a charm), i should have finished grade 2 basic writing and reading comprehension:)

she needs to go away.

" because they know I don’t need anything"-
let's see, you need your cell phone while getting tooled, you need Zovirax for the oozing poossay, you need daddys money, you need a publicist, and you need a "please help me keep a rich Greek guy consultant"...but otherwise you are SO complete...you utter pussbucket

See...what really steams me about this is what about the people that CAN sing? The people that CAN act? The people that CAN write, and don't have million-dollar sugar daddies to finance their efforts? Who instead have to "work hard" and "think."

Paris Hilton is talented at: Whoring it up, drinking, drugs, and insulting people. Take away the cash, and I can guarantee you'd catch her on an episode of "COPS" trying to give a BJ in return for some meth.

THAT'S REAL TALENT, you know, not everyone can give up literally all shred of dignity and self-respect like that.

Is that really an actual picture of Paris Hilton?? Cos it looks like a wax sculpture...

A talented whore... yes, a talented music artist... no.

Who is she again?

lol, could she get any more full of herself.

Wow, you can write... A STUPID BOOK ABOUT YOURSELF. Who cares. You're just like all the other celebrities who write "children's books" because they are too uncreative and stupid to write any actual literature, so they try to come off as making it simplistic on purpose. You're not fooling anyone, mantis.

A BOOK WRITER?????????? U CALL THIS A BOOK .....LMAOOOO THE JOKE OF THE YEAR

SHE CONSEDERS HER SELF A BOOK WRITER??? WOW
PARIS HILTON KISS MY ASS!!!

Can I just say that it wasn't Wolfgang who wrote the words to his OPERA'S, it was me, LORENZO DaPONTE! And I've got some bloke called Gregory here who's muttering something about the requiem. Oh the living are so blinkered.Nice Vagina.

To the person who thinks that the single 'Screwed' is good (Paris, is that you, you smelly skank?)
Whoever produced that pile of cack NEVER used ANY effects on her voice whatsoever!
She DID NOT benefit from HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of pounds worth of digital machines that altered the pitch and tone of her voice! FFS!
This is exactly why this ugly, herpes infected, drag-queen looking retard has managed to stay in the media for so long.
As long as there are morons that can't see beyond the fakeness and the utter STUPIDITY of that creature, it will continue to ply it's trade.

Hey Paris, your a writer, try using the word "hubris" in a sentence for me will ya?

#6. Are you, or are you Paris Hilton?

hahahahahaha!!!! #8 that was fuckin funny as shit!!!!!! Italian Stallian and Papahotnuts--- RRROOOLLLL that beautiful paris ( parasite!!! ) hilton bashing!!! and #69 that was good, i saw the simple life 3 once and she was reading her book, which really juist looked like a freakin maxim mag of JUST HER PICS! with pearls of wisdom such as:
"dont EVER get caught WAITING in LINE for the movies, its ALL about private screenings..." rrriiiighhht....because ALL of us have the luxury, the connex and the money to GET to be the cool cool people who feel its also, "all about private screenings". what a cunt!!! ha ha brian quintana FINALLY stepped up and did what EVERYONE should do---SLAPPED HER HERPES-INFESTED SNATCH WITH A RESTRAINING ORDER!!!
i love it....hey, she has/had it ALLL comming....huh huh no pun intended! oh, one more thing, #46-- the title screwed i think has to do with her doing everyone all the time. my only other guess for this ( and its totally wrong because ALL her songs are about HER-- in a good way, how shes a goddess--ugh!!!--a maneater--eh, more like cum dumpster ) screwed could mean that shes fucked cuz shes got a restraining order now. but, yeah, im sorry i know guys, that was a pretty shitty rant!
hey, did anyone hear what Valentino called her? he said, and to quote him, "....she isnt even pretty.....the hiltons? they have nothing, there white trash" oh, i LOVE it!!!
oh one more thing, i once saw a pic of her in a t shirt that said "HE WANTS TO SLEEP WITH ME" with like, 10000 arrows pointing in all directions....im like, yeah, A)and then they saw your video and said, no thanks! and B) who wants a mouth/nether regions looking like grounf up hamburger meat mixed in with a pepperoni pizza?

sorry guys and babes, gotta say it once more--- CUM DUMPSTER

Anyone think her and K-Fed should team up? That'd be better then the fucking Beatles and Pink Floyd combined

Pathetic - she believes her own bullshit. Take all the money away and what do you have? A 'ho with herpes. Nice.

Actually, the title of this article should be:
PARIS HILTON IS A SHIT.

She is amazing, which is why she is being considered to play the pat of Mother Teresa. Mother F***king Teresa.
http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com/celebrity_religion/2006/04/no_fing_way.html
It makes me want to kill myself... or better yet, kill paris hilton.

Someone needs to inform Paris that...

A. Posing for the Paparazzi doesn't make you a model

B. Getting drunk and finger painting on the wall of the club your at...doesn't make you an artist

C. Having some ugly producer mix your voice tracks to make them sound decent (while pondering the use of voice overs)...doesn't make you a singer.

D. Pointing at a color and a shape and then having someone else design and make a purse/ shirt/ glasses, etc...doesn't make you a designer.

E. Blabbing your personal shit to a bored but money hungry writer while he jots down everything that sounds interesting and then in turn writes your book for you...doesn't make you a writer.

F. And last but not least... staring in your own private homemade porno (which sucked...you selfish camera whore)...DOES NOT MAKE YOU AN ACTRESS!!!!!!

And Paris...Guys flock to you because they know you NEED one very big thing...SEX!! They want to nail you and have you buy them shit. Apparently...being SMART didn't make the above mentioned list.

~

#81--- rock it, you DEF hit the nail on the head on that one!!!!!
more hilton bashing!!! ItallianStallain, PopaHotNuts, keep it comming ;)
love you all!
<3

Vannila Ice will one day melt.....Dick Cheney is a great shot.....Hitler was really Jewish.....There are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq......Clay Aiken had sex with Paula Abdul but really who hasn't.....Nikki Hilton was playing the drums in Paris' song.......Tom Cruise likes pussy.......Papahotnuts invented Gumbo and was never married.....Italian Stallion was born in France.....Newguy is funny....and last but not least Christopher Reeves ran really fast before he passed away.......

I am all in favor of dumb blonde horny sluts. With money. But Paris is looking BAD. She needs to do something quick. Purchasing a set of double D knockers could renew my attention to her for another 15 minutes.

Ryan Seacrest is a great fighter
Penguins can fly up to 40 mph
Tori Spelling is sooo cute (I just gagged)
Kate Moss's boyfriend Pete has a great dentist
Cameron Diaz has a great complexsion
Brittany Spears is a classy chick
Dogs can't look up
I was a great husband, twice

Paris got the herp from PapaHotNuts
Italians suck as lovers
Popozao rocks
Tom is the father of Katie's baby
Bobby Ewing shot JR
Missouri is the "hookers are free" state
Britney is a great driver

She personifies the term "Ignorance is Bliss". I'll have what she's inhaling/smoking/sucking/licking/poking/
molesting/fingerbutting... because reality sucks for the most part & she has no sense of it and seems just fine with that.

Wow, Paris, Thank you SO much for telling me how great you are. I might not have figured that out for myself....

It's kind of like how Tom Cruise is always telling us he's straight...and just as believable.

don't say "artiste", Paris...

All I have to say is Paris Hilton's vagina is an attention whore!

I have made it a habit to never believe people who urge me to consider that they are ''the shit.''

#6 must be the dumbest person in this forum.

Saucie (#86) is super witty.
Katie Holmes really loves Tom Cruise.
Gwyneth is great at picking names for kids.

...

God I tried. Then I couldn't think of anything else, so I scrolled up Italian's #83, and I just can't top that. High five Stallion.

Ok..now that everyone has listened to it...

Sure, people are divided. But admit that its not a bad as you THOUGHT it was going to be!

Hey, people are divided over britney and Jessica, but they went platinum right?

#94 please tell me your kidding..and it is just as bad as I thought it would be...

@94

I'm sorry, but the ability of someone to "go platinum" says nothing about their musical ability, or in the cases you mentioned, their lack thereof. That speaks of great marketing, really young girls who don't know musical or voice talent if it bit them in the ass and have allowance to spend, and a lull in the market at the time of their emergence onto the music scene. Just because you're popular doesn't mean you can sing. Plus, I don't think you can say that we're "divided" when everyone EXCEPT YOU thinks this song is shit. And not "the shit", just shit.

Same comment as #94. I think we're all screwed just for having listened. Ever since i saw them work some mixing magic on the View that made Star Jones (an admitted bad singer) able to sound good and on pitch, I have no faith in anyone actually being good anymore. But, Paris hates of the world, have faith. The way I see it, she sucks at everything and the only thing she has on her side is youth. However, youth inevitably fades away. So, when she is a middle-aged lady, we will not have to hear about her ever again. And, at the rate she's going, I figure she only has about ten years left, tops, before she becomes (even more) unappealing. Trust.

Uh-uh, #97. We're not screwed just for having listened because a) we didn't pay for the opportunity, and b) we can now go around and tell everyone how shitty it sounds. Word of mouth, baby! Now if we can all refuse to dance to it if it's played at clubs, and NEVER EVER request it via our local radio station, we just might force Paris to strike "musical superstar" from her list of things she does exceedingly well!

Paris Hilton is right on track to becoming the next Joan Rivers. We will all have to endure her blinding ugliness, no-talent ginormous ego cum dumpster presence for eternity.

On a happier note, Tom Cruise sure does love the big cock.

#93 Erienne, it's easy. All you do is think of something thats not true and go from there, for instance.....
Papahotnuts isn't funny.....Paris Hilton has the tightest vagina.....Whitney Houston keeps a clean bathroom and hates crack.....SweeterSweeterBoyfriendStealer once won a spelling bee......K-Fed is the next Eminem......Wilmer / Fez trips over his penis when he walks......Lyndsey Lohan has never tried anal or cocaine.....

See it's easy, try again......

#96 - You go, mamacita.

#97 - I disagree. She'll probably never go away *swallow own vomit* because same as there's no law against being a young slut, there's no law against being an old slut.

David Hasselhoff is talented.
Lisa Rinna's lips are natural.
Attorneys are in it for justice.
All inmates are innocent.
Insurance companies are the greatest.
W is the greatest President in history and
the polar caps are not melting.

Anyone who listened to that track and thought it was good, or even "Not that bad" (#18, I'm looking at you) ought to be shot right in the fucking face.

Tom Cruise doesn't love the cock,
It's not child abuse to let my three preschoolers watch tv while I obsess over The superficial, Terry Hatcher isn't a tranny,Paula Abdul is sober and hot, Scientology makes perfect sense, Paris is saving herself to marriage

or "for marriage"

geez. I'm now "shot in the face".

I know just cause some shitty song goes platinum, doesn't make it good. Hey, I'm into indie rock myself.

ALL I'm saying is, that as far as POP music goes, or even dance, its not terrible.

And there's a difference between "terrible" and "teeeeeeeeeeerrrible"

"Screwed" is neither, in my opinion.

"I’ve always had a great voice. You either have it or you don’t. It’s something you’re born with. I’m a brand, a model, an artiste, an actress, a designer. I write books."

Paris, you dont' have it. You are talentless! Doing something doesn't assure you are good at it. You can model: you just have one single pose! People laught at you! they don't laugh wit you, bitch!

Oops, I mean 'you *can't* model

paris hilton - i live in nyc and read about her in the social section of the papers. downtown partier. she is so NOTHING it is shocking that she gets paid any attention. noone cares and/or noone should care. her claim to fame is being related to her grandfathers money!!!!! really - iran has a nuke and paris hilton has herpes!

Phil Specter is HOT
Scott Peterson is innocent
Paris Hilton is Miss Understood
JLo didn't poo on Baffleck

I am productive at work

Charles Manson deserves parole.
Whitney Houston is the poster child for a drug-free America.
Carmen Electra hates the Sybian.
Mariah Carey has super tight abs.
Jennifer Aniston is Oscar worthy and
Michael Douglas didn't say that...

Vote for the Better Singer.

Paris Hilton or

Yoko Ono

Yo Spindoc: What about Bai Ling???

Paris Hilton has minty fresh breath.
Lindsay Lohan was an extra in the last Juvenile video, "Azz So Fat".
Hillary Duff's breasts are totally fake and anyone who agrees is definitely not bitter and flat-chested.
Yoko Ono shaves her legs every day.
MeganHarris is not Jessica Simpson.

And I totally meant to say Hillary Swank but thinking about her breasts got me all disoriented and loopy.

You listen to indie rock like Tom Cruise doesn't take it in the ass.

So let's see:

Tom Cruise doesn't like the cock.
Tom Cruise doesn't think the cock is cool.
Tom Cruise doesn't bow down before the cock.
Tom Cruise doesn't feel the need....the need for cock *high five with Goose*

#110-Productive at work. Nice one, Saucie.

Katie Holmes is pregnant.
Michael Jackson is a straight man.
Paris Hilton is germ-free.
Indie rock is cool.
Uggs will never go out of style.
Mariah Carey is anorexic.
Pink is not a bulldyke.
Alexis Arquette TOTALLY looks like a woman.
Star Jones is a hot bitch.
Nicole Richie eats.
Basic Instinct 2 is a raging success in cinematography.

I like to sing-a.....about the moon-a and the June-a and the Spring-a.....Could this cooze get any uglier. I mean her pictures just get more and more busted. I used to thing the Ruebens paintings were ugly, but if forced to choose, I'd rather look at some fat-assed jelly-roll than this chicks mug.

emos are sensitive misunderstood youths,
fox doesn't suck because nanny 9-11 is a riveting drama,
teri hatcher doesn't have a penis,
and NewGuy never masturbates to pokemon

pepper needs new shorts!

I'm with #116. I can't imagine the kind of music you listen to if you think that the Paris Hilton song wasn't terrible. It sucked ass.

The extra e on artist hurts, it really does.

PapaHotNuts - thanks a whole hell of a lot. I am on a business trip, sitting in my hotel room, and your first post in this series made me laugh so damn loud that I expect hotel security to show up any minute.

Tom Cruise does not love the cock.
Katie Holmes is not sporting a prosthetic belly.
Britney is a great mom.

Oh, and I found myself standing right behind Paris Hilton at baggage claim at Charles de Gaulle airport last spring. I thought it was just a Paris-wannabe, and I despaired for humanity to think that young women and girls would aspire to resemble Paris Hilton. Then I realized it WAS Paris Hilton, and I really despaired for humanity.

Paris has a lazy eye. Isn't there some way to fix it? It's not like this broad doesn't have the $$

It's too bad Paris & Mozart can't make babies.

She's one freakin' ugly TARD. Too bad money couldn't buy her a better vocabulary.

After this album she's gonna deserve her star on Sunset Blvd.

I know it's gonna be a hit! I can't wait for it to come out!!

she sucks at everything she does. that why she has to pay people to do everything for her and take credit for their work. i just listened to her song screwed.. man talk about effect abusing. people do this to hide their bad singing voice.

Someone need to slap her in the face, punch her big, fake nose, knock her unconcious, rape her sorry ass, shave her head and piss in her mouth afterwards other wise I don't think she'd realize there's actually other people living in this world.

And I'm against rape!

Posted by trident on April 13, 2006 11:36 PM

she sucks at everything she does. that why she has to pay people to do everything for her and take credit for their work. i just listened to her song screwed.. man talk about effect abusing. people do this to hide their bad singing voice.

PRETTY MUCH SAID IT ALL!!!!! GOOD ONE, TRIDENT!!!! <3 !!
OH YES, AND CRUISE IS REALLY HINDU, KATIE HOLMES CANT WAIT FOR HER SLIENT, PAINKILLER-FREE ( YYYEEEOOOOOOUUUUCCCHH!!! ) BIRTHING EXPERIENCE.
AND ALSO, ITALIAN STALLION AND PAPHOTNUTS I LOVE YOU!!!!! AND THAT WASNT SARCASTIC, YOUR THE COOLEST FUNNIEST ONES HERE!!
ROCK ON BABES!!!
<3
ME!

since when does paying somebody to put together a book with picutres of yourself, and your own 'insightful' commentary about the life of an hotel hieress (why have one cell phone when you can have three???) count as writing books? and actually since when does writing two books with the same title, the second one being a photo album for the purchaser, count as books pluaral??? please, she can barely string together a coherant sentence that doesn't contain the words "that's hot"

also, paying somebody to write a song for you...actually come to think of it paying somebody to steal a song already recorded by Haylie Duff, and out efects on your god awful voice does not make you an artistE. (notice the emohasis on the E, she's not an artist, she's an artistE, pathetic attempt to make her vocabulary look more interesting than it actually is)

somebody needs to tell Paris that an extraordinary ability to draw attention to your vagina does not make you talented...it makes you a whore.

if i had the powers of an enraged god i would turn that kicking, squeeling, gucci little piggy paris hilton into a big pile of shit. and throw her against the wall and see what sticks. i guarantee it would be every little bit. i swear i think she buys the covers of magazines. even buys herself an article so people can indulge themselves in her ignorance. or maybe people are just that pathetic and want to kill their brain cells by reading her bullshit. as she spreads a veil over alot of the american eyes. to worship her like shes so devine. but some of us can see what she really is, that selfish spoild little kid. and god gave me artistic eyes of blue, so i know beauty when i see it. and paris its definatly not you. and if i was a famous artist i would paint a picture of you with hidden obcenitiesto show you for what you really are. in high hopes you would buy it and pay me like 300 thousand dollars for it. hang it on you wall and stair in awe, while i sit back and laugh my ass off. then again im not one to talk. im just a pathetic little thought. you could sit and make fun of me about how im poor and work for a living. and just like our great ignorant president you'll call a spade a spade. but it takes more than spades and a royal face to win this game. and i wander whats next. paris dolls with the itch. that scratches and giggles? what a worthless peice of human creation you are, you cum guzzleing bitch.

she has a 4 million dollar house! does anyone that posted a comment here have a more expensive house....? i didnt think so, so you all can kiss her very rich rear end!

she has a 4 million dollar house! does anyone that posted a comment here have a more expensive house....? i didnt think so, so you all can kiss her very rich rear end!

poor Paris at least she has her designer clothes to keep her warm when she does time. I wonder if they let her use MySpace when she does time. They probably only let murderers create custom myspace layouts.