Apr 4 2006Nicole Kidman wants a Catholic wedding

Wait, they're only just getting that thing ended? Isn't he just about married again? Why even bother with formal proceedings if you're just going to knock some girl half your age up before you're even divorced to your last wife?

Bless her, trying for a nice wedding, still trying to shake off the evil gnome that is Cruise.

Go on Nicole, try and shake off the memory of Cruise's clutches.

So do you think that she ever gets to see the kids? Since Tom has them home schooled and learning from his Scientologist sisters? And has them already going to classes to learn about Scientology? And since she is after all a wacky catholic. And doesn't believe the garbage that is Scientology.

I guess a crazy spouse is grounds for an annulment. So it's like her marriage never happened.

So do you think that she ever gets to see the kids? Since Tom has them home schooled and learning from his Scientologist sisters? And has them already going to classes to learn about Scientology? And since she is after all a wacky catholic. And doesn't believe the garbage that is Scientology.

I guess a crazy spouse is grounds for an annulment. So it's like her marriage never happened.

Sorry about the double post. I got an error message the first time.

Divorce is seperate from a annulment. Divorce is the legal ending of a marriage, annulment is that the marriage never existed in the eyes of the law/religion.

e.g. Britney's spears first marriage was annuled because she was a skanky ho who was most likey (and could prove) that she was drunk and didn't have control of her faculties. Because she wasn't in her right mind and not in control of her faculties the marriage was invalid.

Church annulments work kind of the same way, and since tom and nicole didn't get married in the catholic church AND he's psycho-it shouldn't be to hard for her.

#1, they got divorced a while ago. She needs to have grounds to get an annulment in order to be married in the church since she's been married before. And they granted her the annulment so she can have a church wedding. So basically the church doesn't recognize the first marriage. And neither does anyone else.

Those poor kids. They are going to hanging out with Blanket and Prince Michael dropping acid and shoving gerbils up each other's asses... So says Xenu...

^^^ You just said what I was going to say, but you said it better.

I understand Nicole was granted the annulment on the premise that her marriage, was in fact, a "beard." The Diocese hands out annulments like they're candy. Or used-Lindsay-Lohan condoms.

Especially if you never actually consecrated the marriage. And, no, "consecrate" does not mean "watch while this man licks my testes."

#11, you beat me to it. I was going to say that I believe "Never having sex with each other" is a valid reason for an annulment.

Something up with the posting today?

Yeah, none of it is funny.

But what else is new?

Cruise - a term that originated in gay slang, describing the act of walking or driving about a locality in pursuit of a partner for quick and anonymous gay sex.

Good for Nicole!! Her children will wise up soon enough.

#14 -- since you're clearly a "bon vivant" of satire, why don't you write something a little more clever than "Waahh-waahh. You're not funny. This no make me laugh."

Douchebag.

If its really true that Nicole got an annulment, there's something very wrong afoot. The rules for an annulment are(1) one of the spouses unable to procreate, (2) one of the spouses (legally) incapable of giving consent at the time of marriage, or (3) it can proven that one of he spouses entered into the marriage fraudalently. Now, as wacky as TomC is, its pretty well known that the couple were capable of procreation, the marriage was absolutely freely entered into by both parties and (for a while at least) the couple were besotted with each other. The sad truth is that Nicole has money and influence - its a corrupt annulment. Its also worth noting that her over-riding desire to get a church wedding, even if means abandoning the core catholic principle of the 'til death do us part', shows that Nicole may be a bit of a nut job herself.

Good for Nicole!! Her children will wise up soon enough.

Tom - (noun) turkey-cock (plural turkey-cocks): A male turkey

#13, I think something's up with the server. I keep getting error messages.

All I know is Nicole was smart enough to leave. And now you never hear about her being with the kids. I think Katie needs to follow her lead before it's too late.

#21 Didn't Tom leave Nicole, shortly after impregnating her, for his good friend Penelope?

I guess it's a good thing the courts acknowledged their union when they awarded her that massive settlement. It was a really shitty move for Tom to try and change the seperation date so he could screw her out of a large chunk of change. But that's what Scientologist do - lie and deny.

Finally, the Catholic Church actually does something worthwhile for man(woman?)kind.

Now, if it would only annul the birth of NewGuy, we could all REALLY live in peace.

New Guy, stop being such a tool. If you are so unamused, go play somewhere else.

Good for Nicole. Thank God someone in Tom's life has come to their senses.

#22 I heard both versions. One was that he left her after she got pregnant b/c he didn't believe it was his baby. Since he was told he was sterile (Back to my "Scientologists impregnated Katie" theory) The other version was that she got sick of him letting Scientology run their lives and left b/c he was so into the religion. So who knows the truth.

#18 - thanks for the lesson. But she's covered on all three points: (1) How could a man who's had his testes replaced with One-A-Day vitamins procreate? We all know Katie is preggers with a space alien. (2) Nicole couldn't consent. Any adult who would go through this much trouble to be CLOSER to the Catholic Church is verifiably insane. (3) What part of Tom's being a HUGE VORTEX OF COCK while professing to love women isn't a glaring fraud?

He probably packs his little panties with tube socks, too.

The church obviously gave her an ANALment cause they too realized Tom is a gay and worships not only the cock but also aliens.

I remember all of this differently than the rest of you. Tom
was not able to father a child-that was why they adopted
two kids. When Nicole turned up pregnant, Tom believed that she had been unfaithful to him with someone she met
while filming Moulon Rouge. Sadly, Nicole lost the baby
and her husband too.
Did anyone else see Eyes Wide Shut? It just seemed to me
that Tom and Nicole were going in different ways career
wise and that movie put the last nail in the coffin of
their marriage.
I realize that this post is not funny-I'm just wondering
if anyone else see things the way I do.

#17 You sign your comments as "Douchebag"??? Is that an honorary title or did you go to school to earn it? Should we just call you douchebag? Mr. Douchebag?

It was easily annulled because they were married by Orson who used to be Mork's leader on Mork and Mindy and also happens to be Xenu's big brother. While he can perform legal weddings on Ork, he is not allowed to marry people on Earth.

By the way, this is a must read if you haven't seen it already... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xenu

#17 You actually sign your comments "Douchebag"??? Is that an honorary title or did you go to school to earn it? Would you like us to call you Douchebag? Mr. Douchebag? Please let us know. Thanks.

28 - Sounds like Tom has some apologizing to do if that's the reason he left her and if he actually knocked up Katie. But somehow I doubt he's the type of person to ever admit he'd made a mistake.

Damn it.

Can I annul the last 25 years of my life as a poor person with average-sized breasts and crappy cars?

New Guy -- there is a simple grammatical principle known as the period. It means, "end of sentence." Therefore, "Douchebag-followed-by-a-period" is a declarative sentence with "new guy" as the implied subject. For those of you who didn't make it past fourth grade English:

New Guy is a big smelly douchebag.

sweetcheeks, it should be "New Guy is a big, smelly douchebag" (with a comma). Thanks.

Not necessarily. When using two adjectives, use of the comma is discetionary. More than two adjectives: you must use a comma. I'm right. Look it up.

i.e. "big bad wolf" or "little blue house."

sorry, that's "discRetionary." Typo. If you even caught it, DOUCHEBAG.

This is what I've heard, but may be wrong... TC's first wife, Mimi Rogers, was the one that got him into scientology. Her father was some kind of bigshot in it. Supposedly, Nicole Kidman ALSO got into it for awhile and actually rose to a OT-VII status. The scientology bigwigs never came out about it for fear it could backfire. A month or two before they split-up, Nicole suddenly had an epiphany and got-the-hell-outta-there. Dropped out completely. Supposedly, this is what TC was referring to when he said, "Nic knows the reason..." According to scientology, if you speak against it, drop out, etc., you are an "SP" or Suppressive Person and the scientologist is to act as if you don't exist and/or have no further contact of any sort with this person.
This must be interesting (or really sad) with the two kids involved!

Satire, insults and grammar...it can't get any better than this!

New Guy is a smelly pirate hooker.

i'm surprised she hasn't demanded full custody of her kids... now that tom is a freaking pyschopath...

adopted or not, I want Nicole to have them... I don't think tom will be able to handle his biological child and his adopted children

#41 -- AGREED!!!

also, I agree with #42

bjpack, thanks for that....it just proves my belief that Scientologists need psychiatry more than any of us.

P.S. Am I the only one who thinks that the first drawing of Xenu looks like Ming from Flash Gordon?

She needs to take them kids and hide in Australia somewhere!

#18, IICR, homosexuality is also a cause for annulment. As well insanity.

This is pretty rediculous. I love Nicole to death, but I can't side with her on this one.

A point of an annulment in the Catholic church is to say the the marriage never existed in the eys of god or the church. Which is stupid, because they were married for 11 years and have 2 adopted children together, it's pretty damn insane to suggest that the marriage "never existed" when we have countless pictures of them together as a couple, they worked together, and they adopted together.

On the other hand, I agree with people above...that if the guy turns out to be gay then an annulment should be granted...and most likely is what happened.

It's too bad we all can't annull (sp?) Tom from our lives.

Wait, wait, wait.. I remember Nicole making a comment about how now she can wear heels again after divorcing Cruise.. I am pretty sure Keith Urban is considerably shorter than Tom. That's just going to look weird. His height is listed as 5'10'' on IMDB, but I don't believe 'em after seeing him in concert.

And at first I was flipping out thinking that Renee Zellweger had been married to Keith Urban, but thankfully I was mistaken.. What an odd love triangle that wuold have been.

#11-I had to register just to explain that "consecrate" means to sanctify. The word you mean is "consummate"
Also, the annullment in the church does not have anything to do with a legal annullment. It just means it is no longer recognized by the church.

Keith DEFINITELY should wear his tux open just like in the picture.. and Nicole's hair is a bit mussy.... maybe from the quickie in the can moments before the picture was taken? Good for you bitch!!!

sweetcheeks, good point about the comma not being necessary. I just felt like posting again. Also, I'm not a douchebag. I promise.

sweetcheeks - very entertaining comments. Such talent on this site!

Is anyone here Catholic? Bare with me if I am slow, but what I gather is you can't marry in the Catholic church if you have been married before- in order to do so you have to annull the first marriage. Does this mean a lot of Catholics have to not be married in the church the second time, or have to try to get the marriage annulled? Do they grant that many annullments?

To #28 and #40, there's no truth to either of your stories. The T.C, N.K marriage was a career move for both of them, to become (and they did) the IT POWER COUPLE, so they could generate moneymoneymoney for the "church" They adopted because they didn't have sex. They had a contract, and she broke that contract when she became pregnant by an affair. She miscarried, and he divorced her. What man in his right mind would divorce his wife right after she miscarried. Which explains the comment "She knows why" Which explains why she's shitting brinks because of the possible leak of tapped phone conversations by T.C.

To get rid of the NewGuy, we have to do exactly what his family, schoolmates, neighbors, priests, teachers, employers, animals, and most importantly women- have been doing to him his entire life.

Ignore him.

The only way he gets attention, is by waving his flag, screaming LOOK AT ME! PLEASE GOD LET THEM LOOK AT ME!! I, for one, think he's actually pretty funny. Funny like a kick in the nuts. I just hope he is posting on the SF after his homework is done, because 11th grade will be tough on him if he doesn't study.

I was an Advocate/Procurator for the Catholic Church and it can be annulled.

#1 - Agreed. wtf? Why do celebrities even bother getting married? Oh yeah, so they can get on the cover of all the magazines... and get it again for the babies, divorce, re-marriage, etc...

Don't be threatened by me PapaF@gNuts. Believe me, the last thing in the world I want is to steal your flock of retarded sheep from you. I'm sure you've worked very hard... writing... on the internet... every day... for years to gain their misguided affection.

And for the record a kick to the nuts is almost always funny...

Tell you what, you work on your material tonight and see if you can't come up with something better for us tomorrow? M'kay? M'kay.

This is kind of a boring subject, but I have to say that the argument between NewGuy and SweetCheeks has been damn funny. Thanks you two, you saved this posting. (Grin)

boredatwurk

annulments can be very very hard to get. they are also very expensive. many people spend alot of money to try and get an annulment only to have it not work. the church makes a ton off people when it comes to annulments. all the reasons stated above count as reasons for an annulment. while she does have alot of money and that alone could have possibly bought her one, i bet one of the aforementioned reasons is the way in which the church went about annulling her marriage to cruise. he could be gay, they may have never had sex etc etc. i dont think the rules are that black and white and perhaps if nic had outlined some of the bizarre things that went on in their marriage that would have been enough. she might have argued as well that he was already very deep into scientology when they got married and therefore not mentally competent.

yes,catholics cannot get married inside a church the second time if their annulment was not granted. on the other hand, any catholic who cares enough about the religion in order to get married in the church might be less likely to get a divorce anyway since its relatively looked down upon in the church.

i am pretty sure she was under contract. i am also pretty sure that part of the reason she has not come out and talked about how crazy and stupid tom is (and divulging all those details everyone wants to know) is bc part of the contract states that she will have to give a large amount of money to him if she speaks about it. seeing as though she has so much money, she should be a good person, suck it up, give him the money and break the damn contract to save katie holmes life and career (and any other young actress he goes after). its no coincidence her career took off after she broke up with him, he kept her down, hes a misogynist, and he will do the same to katie. (not that she has any talent whatsoever, and everyone knows that, so perhaps its a safer pick for him)

katie- Thanks for the info!

Argh - first of trust me on this one - my dad does annulments for the Catholic Church.
Annulments can be easy or difficult to obtain - it all depends what diocese you are in. One of the easiest ways to get an annulment is if you didn't get married in the Catholic Church in the first place. All an annulment does is recognize that the marriage was not a SACRAMENT. The Church recognizes that the marriage existed and was legal - just not a sacrament. Another easy way to get one - marry a nonCatholic and they refuse to allow your kids to be raised catholic - if you get married in the church both parties have to sign a piece of paper agreeing to this.

Also, the Church counsels people before they even apply for an annulment. They will tell you if you have grounds for one or not. They don't make people waste their time to make money off of them - an annulment costs about $300 - same as a quickie uncontested (poor people) divorce. Not exaclty a big money maker. Once grounds for an annulment have been determined, usually the only way they will not grant the annulment is if during the course of the investigation they find out someone lied and thus the underlying argument for the annulment is false.

All that siad, annulments are stupid and most people who get them are just trying to save their souls. If they cared so damn much about what the church thought they wouldn't have married a Scientologist freak in the first place. And Nicole will have grounds for her next annulment when she has to tell everyone that Keith urban is a sex addict and knew before marriage he would not be able to remain faithful.

Argh - first of trust me on this one - my dad does annulments for the Catholic Church.
Annulments can be easy or difficult to obtain - it all depends what diocese you are in. One of the easiest ways to get an annulment is if you didn't get married in the Catholic Church in the first place. All an annulment does is recognize that the marriage was not a SACRAMENT. The Church recognizes that the marriage existed and was legal - just not a sacrament. Another easy way to get one - marry a nonCatholic and they refuse to allow your kids to be raised catholic - if you get married in the church both parties have to sign a piece of paper agreeing to this.

Also, the Church counsels people before they even apply for an annulment. They will tell you if you have grounds for one or not. They don't make people waste their time to make money off of them - an annulment costs about $300 - same as a quickie uncontested (poor people) divorce. Not exaclty a big money maker. Once grounds for an annulment have been determined, usually the only way they will not grant the annulment is if during the course of the investigation they find out someone lied and thus the underlying argument for the annulment is false.

All that siad, annulments are stupid and most people who get them are just trying to save their souls. If they cared so damn much about what the church thought they wouldn't have married a Scientologist freak in the first place. And Nicole will have grounds for her next annulment when she has to tell everyone that Keith urban is a sex addict and knew before marriage he would not be able to remain faithful.

Argh - first of trust me on this one - my dad does annulments for the Catholic Church.
Annulments can be easy or difficult to obtain - it all depends what diocese you are in. One of the easiest ways to get an annulment is if you didn't get married in the Catholic Church in the first place. All an annulment does is recognize that the marriage was not a SACRAMENT. The Church recognizes that the marriage existed and was legal - just not a sacrament. Another easy way to get one - marry a nonCatholic and they refuse to allow your kids to be raised catholic - if you get married in the church both parties have to sign a piece of paper agreeing to this.

Also, the Church counsels people before they even apply for an annulment. They will tell you if you have grounds for one or not. They don't make people waste their time to make money off of them - an annulment costs about $300 - same as a quickie uncontested (poor people) divorce. Not exaclty a big money maker. Once grounds for an annulment have been determined, usually the only way they will not grant the annulment is if during the course of the investigation they find out someone lied and thus the underlying argument for the annulment is false.

All that siad, annulments are stupid and most people who get them are just trying to save their souls. If they cared so damn much about what the church thought they wouldn't have married a Scientologist freak in the first place. And Nicole will have grounds for her next annulment when she has to tell everyone that Keith urban is a sex addict and knew before marriage he would not be able to remain faithful.

Y'all are confusing a legal annullment with a Catholic annullment. In order to receive a Catholic annullment, one of the routes you may go is to prove there was a "failure of form" -- i.e., the rules of the Catholic church were not followed in the marriage ceremony. One of the common "failures of form" is if one of the parties (here, Nicole) is Catholic, but the couple marries somewhere other than a Catholic church, and without a special dispensation authorizing the marriage (which applies in this situation).

If you can show a failure of form, getting an annullment from the local diocese is as easy as it gets -- mine was $50 and about 6 weeks to get the paperwork processed.

The end result is that the marriage is declared "void" in the Catholic church, freeing the Catholic person to marry within the Catholic church again. It has no bearing on the legal status of the parties.

Annull this everyone!! Yeah, that's right, annull this!! Oh, it's no use. This thread can't be saved from the depths of seriousness that it has sunk into. This is all an insult to superficiality.

I kind of like NewGuy, he's an asshole and fits in well.
Now if he could only make fun of the storyline the way he attempts to make fun of us, we might actually laugh with him not at his dumbass.......
Just a thought from one asshole to another......

this sort of proves my pointless point that ALL religions have idiotic rules and regulations. Catholicism isn't immune to wack-a-doodle confinements, although scientology does take the whole cake.

As an Australian, this is a fantastic day.

For 11 years we were subjected to frequent visits by Cruise, who gloated to the press about how much he <3'd Australia, and how much Australia loved him.

Well, we didn't. Infact, the general consensus was that he was a major weirdo, and quite frankly we didn't want his shit adopting our country.

Did anybody notice that whilst Kidman was married to the freak, she was dubbed 'Ice Queen'?

Personally I think the marriage was doomed, because he was a foot shorter than Kidman.
Little man's syndrome?

HEY!! Does anyone have a link or the info about K. H. disappearing for a couple of weeks>?

This marriage was never legit in the first place for it to be legal they would have had to free zenon from intergallatic space jail and reanimate the dead tissue of L.Ron to preside over the ceremony.

I read wikipedia's definition of Scientology. Despite the aliens, anal probes and such, the most baffling part, I thought, was the fact that you cannot reach ultimate enlightenment unless you donate excessive amounts of cash.

Which is why us urchins will never experience the full bossom of Hubbards teachings. :(

NewGuy: Are you, or are you, Paris Hilton's brother?

I realize this is more of a Tom-Cruise bashing thread, but I was curious as to whether people actually think Nicole and Keith make a good couple? I personally think they are a complete mismatch.

haha! I know... They probably laughed at the idea of an annulment from Scientology.

I think nicole kidman has no vagina. smooth between the legs like a barbie doll.

Annulment on the grounds of homosexuality would work both ways on that marriage. For as much as Tom likes the cock, Nicole likes the clam. If they could only have swapped orientations, they'd have been a hetero couple.

Nicole is as much of a freak as Tom is. Ugh, have you seen her gross man-hands and feet. Don't know what guys see in her, she is the most un-sexy and sterile woman I've ever seen.

It was no marriage, it was kidnapping. The dwarf Cruise kidnapped the stick Kidman fairy to scientology-land... he kept asking the fairy to make him taller and refused to let her go till she did as told but guess he got older and start appreciating himself as he is. Dwarf.

#68, it is annul with one "l." You people don't know grammar AND you're illiterate.

#82

Am I crazy or did you just correct yourself AND call yourself illiterate?! That was really weird.

wow, i just love tom cruise. without his craziness my life would be so empty! every day a new and even weirder story emerges about him or those around him. Brilliant!
http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com

#82, schizophrenic people are funny - funny like Reese Witherspoon's chin and Paris Hilton's hairy snatch!

Say no to Catholic marriages they are the epitome of evilness...!

#56- i agree, but i think nicole probably had to have an abortion, not a miscarriage. i'm sure she did it relunctantly, but probably realized she couldn't pretend the baby was tom's, esp. if the dad was not caucasian. AND if she had kept the baby and pretended it was tom's, after their divorce tom would have to SPEND TIME with it, along with his adopted kids. i'm sure he wasn't willing for that either.
so she is freed from the scandal of her cheating, the inevitable discovery of her sham marriage, and her career remains intact. i think she even conspired with tom to say she miscarried TOM's baby, and agreed to make it look like he left her for penelope------just so she could be on every magazine cover as a VICTIM. just in time for that fake nose and the oscars. ------and tom also wins because right when his "big" "oscar chance" -movie was coming out (vanilla sky [crappy]) , his "passion" for penelope was "so hot" that he had to leave nicole. he had even just "impregnated" nicole. WHAT A HETEROSEXUAL.
nicole sold her soul to the devil for her CAREER and MONEY. she even adopted two innocent children to further that career. is it so far a stretch to say she USED the divorce to get an oscar?

btw, i think the father of katie's baby, is tom's bit-part actor cousin, his last name is "mapother", he was the abusive guy who gets killed in "In the Bedroom," in fact, tom has given him roles in all his movies pretty much.
he looks somewhat like tom in the face, except his features are bit bigger. but he is a BLONDE. i'd love to see tom's cousin and that kid in a split-screen someday...

I'm w you #80, she is so NOT hot. She looks like a stick of chalk. Yuck!!

whoever you are number 87,, you are wrong..
nic is the real victim in that divorce..
tom divorced her because she hates Scientology..
crazy tom punched nicole's stomach so she miscarried her child..
he left her with no care and got all his belongings from her...
if i could just rewind the things, everybody would understand..
after the divorce, every tabloid says, nicole cheated on him.... everyone believed...
nicole doest wanna speak a bout it and was subjected as the real reason for the divorce...
tom hooked up with penelope because nic doesnt want to stay as a scientologist, then tom was not able to get penelope to that and broke up wiht her too.. and now theres katie.....
look at her...
or do you see her..
nic's children should be with her .. theyre not safe while they're with tom

My guess is Nicole was able to hit all three requirements for an annulment: He's not able to procreate (supposedly this was why Mimi Rogers divorced him. Well, that and he's gay); one wasn't able to give legal consent. Come on, he believes aliens on DC-10s came here 10K years ago. Does that sound legally competent to give consent to you? And third, the marriage was entered into fraudulently. Pretending to be straight to preserve your career seems pretty fraudulent to me.