#1 Bitches

I'd hit it...

Id hit it too.....with a shovel...

Hope she'll be in the same cell with Lil kim...

When is the prison DVD coming out? Reserve me a copy.
http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/

Her last name is Rodriguez, what did you expect? Hhmm, do prison time like the rest of her family or actually get off her lazy ass & do something for the community?

"Vasquez, I mean Michelle, have you ever been mistaken for a man?"

classy move.

She should have taken community service, I am sure there is plenty of grass to cut.

Why waste 240 hours of community service, just spend 5 free days in a resort like celeb-jail. Good for you Michelle, I'm glad you'll learn your lesson.

Things are gonna get HOTTER at the Oahu Women's
"Correctional Institute" ...

fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap...

you could hit it with a shovel, but it'd keep on coming o.o

that's what happens when you appoint Imelda Marcos as your attorney

FOCUS UP "LADIES" ...FOCUS UP!

BULLDYKE WALKIN'!!!

she scares me

Whos gonna drop the soap first?

She looks so hardcore, now we'll find out if she really is. If she's not, I'm sure she'll be right at the top of the list to write a tell-all book on it.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

240 hours of picking up trash on the side of the road or 5 days of sex with inmates and prison guards. Oh...it's my little fantasy,leave me alone!

http://www.dvddrive-in.com/reviews/t-z/womeninfury.htm8776

Maybe she wants to go back in the joint for a chance to meet up with some long lost friends.

I think I just threw up in my vagina a little bit.
Joke: Hey, why do Mexicans have tiny steering wheels?
Answer: So they can have hot lesbian prison burning loins inmate sex while I watch! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL SOM! @#$%^&*^@~$$$@!!!!

Wow, a hispanic choosing jail over community service?? I think i'm going to have a heart attack and die over that one. Figures she wouldn't choose to work.

5 days in jail for her is as natural as a drive by. Genetics, baby.

#7 : I like the "Aliens" reference.

even if she's not really a bad-ass, there can't be that many hardcore chicks jailed in Honolulu...

@20

Hey, you whore!!!! Get my email address from Jacq-I wanna ask you something.

For all the people who are implying, or outright saying, that Mexicans are lazy, consider this. If you paid me $50 to clean your entire house, I bet I could do it faster than that meth-head that Whitney Houston paid to clean up her bathroom. Gringo bitches!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I'm just kidding here. I am actually Mexican, but I can take my knocks with the rest of them. The Superficial is an equal opportunity satire site and I respect that. But, you're all still gringo bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm hispanic as well, there's nothing like making fun of yourself. :P

24 - If you want to ask me out why can't you do it in front of people? Are you ashamed of me? I'm so tired of all the secrets and lies!
And I will take you up on that bet, but let the consumer be aware I will do it for one gram of crank, saving them 25% for a higher-quality, more thorough cleaning. Please hide your jewelry in advance.
I do not trust myself.

@26

Secrets and lies? Isn't that a song by Ginuwyne?

P.S. I can beat your price. I'll do it for some peanut butter crackers and an orange Fanta.

I was just thinking of that song "Sittin up in my room" by Brandi, because that's what I listen to when I sit by the phone waiting for you to call and ask me to the ice cream social, but you keep breaking my heart. Why do you mock my broken heart with your secrets and lies?
I got your price beat - I brought 46 of my friends in my El Camino and we brought enough oranges for everyone!!! So that's one $40 gram, labor time divided by 46, plus free oranges. Trow in some Tecate an joo got a deal, meester!

Jail in Hawaii, she probably got the Ocean view cell!!!

You would think she would no how to outrun them after all that shit she did in the Fast and the Furious, or when she was younger and parked cars............

A couple things piss me off about this:
1. She has gotten three dui's and gets five days!!!! A normal person gets at least a year here and say goodbye to your DL.
2. In most states Com. Service time has a cash value. So she either doesn't have money...Meth; or she sees going to jail as a sweet career move. After here five days, she can make the talk show circuit. Harpo probably already has a date set.

It makes me crazy that celebs get special treatment in COURT, I understand at the hotel, restuarant, massage parlor, but in Court.

Let's see how here tough girl image is in Jail. I can just here the quote know "He lost girl, I'm going to lose my fist in your ass.

#7: Yes, Aliens! Get away from her, you bitch!
I don't except anything else out of M-Rod. She would rather sit in jail, which you would think would be completely humiliating, then waste her time helping others. Community service for celebrities is always easier, anyway. She's a punk.

Actually, #30 - (and I hate to say this) but I know alot of people with multiple DUIs and they've never done any jail time - just had to go to "aa" and some other bullshit...so even though her status MIGHT have gotten her some preferential treatment in court...there is still another ton of assholes out there who got busted last night, will go to court today - get some kind of 'sentence' and will go out and drink & drive again tonight.

Lesbians? She's...

http://tinyurl.com/nvpob

Hmmm. I'm a huge lesbian with a big, silky minge and my choices are:

240 hours of picking up garbage with your cousins, uh, fellow offenders.

5 blissful days and nights of labia-lappin-looovve

@28

Do you ever watch George Lopez? There was this one episode where his bratty ass daughter wanted to go on a skiing trip and it was going to cost $500 and George was totally not going to let her go. So, she's like "But, dad, you can make this my Christmas present!" and he says "Well, that's about 485 dollars more than I was planning on spending!" and she says "This sucks!" and he goes "Hey!! Save it for Christmas when you open your bottle of shampoo!!"

Spoiled little bitch. All I got for Christmas was a package of dried pinto beans. The REFRIED beans were too expensive. Hell, I coudn't even get just some first-fried ones. Nooooo, I got the totally uncooked ones and that bitch gets a bottle of shampoo!!!!!!!! Slutbag!!!!!

En route to sentencing, "Dog" Chapman gave her a cigarette and explained to her that "Ice" was, "the Devil".

Dude, she chooses jail time over some shotty community service that she probably could have just blown off... I think I love u Michelle:)!

I'll be ur gringo bitch, Michelle! (stars in eyes)

I'm REPORTING #36, #35, #28, # 29 and just for the future, #'s 51-67. I'm reporting you to my vagina.

REPORTED!! I LOVE PAPAHOTNUTS.

@36

NO MORE ICE IN PARADISE!!!
NO MORE ICE IN PARADISE!!!
NO MORE ICE IN PARADISE!!!
NO MORE ICE IN PARADISE!!!
NO MORE ICE IN PARADISE!!!
NO MORE ICE IN PARADISE!!!
NO MORE ICE IN PARADISE!!!

35 - don't you mean "cham-pu"?

Aaaah she just wanted some free pussy

btw I really hate her in Lost so I hope someway she'll be arrested for a real crime and stay in jail for the next 3 years and stay out of Lost!

Which end of the shovel should I hit it with?

#34

AHAHAHAHAHAH!

I laughed so hard at that, I think I came.

Re: the "Aliens" reference in #7:

I only thought of that because I'd just watched "Resident Evil" two days ago, and Ms. Rodriguez was channeling Jenette Goldstein throughout. (Also, it wasn't till the closing credits that I realized "Hugh Jackman" was actually James Purefoy.)

#6

biatcho, that was really ... really ... er ... bitchy.

But then you knew that, right?
Okay, then. Carry on everyone.

@41

What the hell am I THINKING?!! Of course I meant cham-pu.

P.S. I finish raking up de leabes in your yard. Where's my sheck, meester?

#30

Yes, but it's 5 days that she can't SURF. That's punishment enough. Maybe the mokes'll make a real lesbian out of her.

She may not be doing community service, but she'll be doing a trimjob for somebody.

Now we just need someone to direct the whole video, and throw Anne Heche into the mix.

Anne'd be all like, "No mas cervazas, Michelle. Dame tu chocha, puta. Rapido."

Then they could cuddle afterwards and wax about their Harrison Ford fantasies, or some other girly shit. By then I'll be using a kleenex.

#47

I like to think of it more as racist than bitchy. Alrighty then, carry on...

I dunno about the rest of you, but I almost poked my eye out looking at those pointy bee stings of hers.

Where's the charge of Felonious Bad Acting? Or how about Maliciously Ruining a TV show? I guess that's all the same charge.

I sometimes wish I was a woman so I could have steamy prison sex with this hottie. I have a thing for beaners....er wetbacks....shit, what was the pc term again? She's smart to take 5 days of hot buttered labia, rather than pick up garbage 8 hours a day for 30 days. Or would they make her pick crops, due to genetic superiority in that area?

And to think, that at this precise moment, as Michelle enters D-block, homegirls Kina, Elikapeka and Shawanda are looking on, approvingly, as they oil up and slather themselves with bacon grease they stole from the kitchen.

240 hours of community service? Wow....I'd have to go sit in jail for 5 days too. That 5 days will probably end up being 2 or 3 days.

this girl gets on my nerves. she's a tub.

Who's this girl again?

Chick from LOST and that movie with Vin diesel where they race cars, Furiously Fast, Fast and Furious, whatever.

That’s the perfect Mexican barrio-vato girl attitude… “I‘ve got a T.V. a series and loads of cash coming in every week, but NO I won’t just do the civically conscience thing here, I’ll just go do some time in the grey-bar hotel instead, it’ll make me feel right at home !!!” what a dirty nut sack.

Notice that they didn’t sentence her to 5 days in L.A. County jail… oh NO. They sentenced her to jail in Hawaii !!! must be tough… Wee

@59

"Notice that they didn’t sentence her to 5 days in L.A. County jail… oh NO. They sentenced her to jail in Hawaii !!! must be tough… Wee"

Errr, that would be because Hawaii was not only where the crime was committed, but also where Michelle Rodriguez lives.

5 days will go quickly and she'll ask for an extension.
Or she'll go back out and get a fourth DUI so she can get more comfortable with her new bitches.

#60

oh yeah... well I'd still sentence her to L.A. County... Toughen that be-atche up a bit...

Aw she's so cute..barf

almost first man this is though shit

she's hot.

Call me crazy but I'm a fan.

She's like the negative of Reese Witherspoon. She (like Reeses) made one good independent film then followed it up with a bunch of shitty films/TV. Difference is Reese got an oscar and Michelle gets jail time.

She's not Mexican. She's of Puerto Rican and Dominican descent. And no it's not the same thing.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0735442/bio

#50
Sharp bee stingers not fun. However, appears might alternatively be puffy sand dollars in a pointy bra to couteract aboriginal sag. That is, appears to be an aureola break, about halfway down that right boob. If so, tasty Yager-flavored handfuls. Caveat:holding her hair when she vomits.

#67
Um, my gardener who is a Mexican says it is too the same thing, so there...

Michelle can come to my house, make me some tacos & burritos, fetch me a beer and later on pleasure me in a way that wouldn't be proper to mention here!

After that she could clean my bathroom.

#69

I don't believe your gardener. I don't believe you have a gardener.

#70

Well, I do his name is Speedy Gonzales...