Apr 17 2006Lindsay Lohan at SNL afterparty

...Lindsay Lohan: The E True Hollywood Story.....

...it all started when Lindsay was found face down in a mud puddle strung out on heroine....

(first post yay!)

damn, she has a hairy neck....

How pompous can you be? What a stuck up wench. I can't believe Cosmo called her a superstar after those retarded movies she did. Herbie Unloaded or whatever? Biggest waste of money I can think of.

that guy in the background wants to tap her ass.

She is SO 5 minutes ago...

She's fine.

I love the guy standing behind her lol
He's kind of like "who the hell does she think she is"? haha

Damn, she has some hairy nose hair.

Jeez. Give the girl a break. If she's partying, she's a whore. Now she's stuck up?

The chick has earned more and achieved more than 99% of kids her age. Remember, the girl is about the same age as a college sophomore.

She must have a huge vat filled with makeup that she's dunked into daily to cover those gazillion freckles covering her ugly ass. Oh, that's her face i'm lookin at, same, same.

#9 she's also done more men & drugs than most kids her age too... she should be proud!

re #4
either he wants to tap it, or he's like "where IS it?"

THE CAPTION SHOULD READ:

LINDSAY LOHAN CHECKING HER NOSE FOR EVIDENCE OF HER PRE-PARTY PICK-ME-UP

gotta love the 3 hands coming her way too

She could use more fake tan stuff coz her pits look paler than her upper poor excuse of an arm. Hey Biatcho, I'll tell you the question - What the hell's with this Devil stuff? The whole black mass, and the whole six-six-six, coffins thing? Don't think the Big Man ain't keeping score, baby! He put you in the penthouse, and He can kick you back down to the gutter with these two! [ points to Steve & Eydie ]

#9 i think youre just desperatley asking for a verbal rape and i for one, cant wait for it to begin.

OMG sorry you guyz, rape isnt funny!11!!

How to perfect the "Little girl trying on her Mother's dress" look by Lindsey Lohen.

I've also noticed how superficial comments are more about making fun of other commenters than celebrities. I mean where's the fun in that? The people here who have become well known are probably the biggest losers, so making fun of them isn't worth it, they don't even have the millions of dollars to console themselves with.

*overheard at afterparty*
im lindsey lohan. im hot. my makeup is chic, it looks like i just gave a blow job in the limo on the way over. but i didnt, its just a trick. i gave 5 blow jobs on the way here! and took them all in the face. cuz i like jizz. mmm jizz. ashlee and jessica cant take it in the face like i can. stupid bitches will never live up to me!! whats that your eating? tell me all about it cuz it looks yummy. no i dont want any! ha! what do you think i am? one of those fat cows who still EATS?!! fuck that man. ive got a rep to protect and pictures to pose for. im posing with my nose int he air alllll night, cuz im cool like that. and also i snorted so much coke if i put my head down my brains will fall out my nose. i dont have enough to spare! TEEHEE! oh im a silly whore, love me like my daddy never did and ill give you a free pass to pussy town. what was your name again?

I just remembered why that dude looks irritated, it's the universal look of a dying man's face when he smells his girlfriends fart. Lindsay must've farted and this dude is so pissed off that he has to stand there and smell it.

I think she just got caught flipping her hair around or something.

As far as her posing...Maybe she was looking over the crowd, stretching her neck to look at somebody. And who has she been with anyway...just Fez from that 70s Show. That hardly qualifies as being a whore. Most girls are doing it by 16 anyway. And so she dabbled in drugs, who in Hollywood or highschool/college hasn't? Please people. Just because she's skinny, doesn't mean she's skinny because she's on drugs. Those girls are pressured to be thin. She was that thin in the Parent Trap. How come she wasn't considered fat before? Its sad actually. And yes, she's done some stupid movies - who in Hollywood hasn't early in their careers. She is only 19. Who has it together at 19? Get your own identity and stick with it and stop tearing down other people to make yourself look good.

If you look closely you can see the septum of her nose screaming in pain as the coke she took before the show rats her nose into one gaping nostril like that British TV actress.

http://www.evilgerald.com/Issues/Issue5/story1.htm

She looks like a weird combo of a little girl playing dress up in mommy's clothes and a used up old whore walking into a coffee shop at 3am to steal sugar packets.

See, what'd I tell you?

Stupid-ass Lohan to the rescue, quickly eclipsing any tragic news with her asinine attitude.

See, she *IS* good for something besides whoring...Oh wait. No she's not.

She was the host? I thought she was one of the skits. That wasn't funny, of course.

#22. At 19, no one really has their act together but most aren't sperm burping road whores, either. COMPLETELY different from an Entertainment Whore but I digress.

"Do you see any 'fairy dust' on my nose? No? Then that means I need more."

I am with Tha-Flash on this one.

Sure she has got a lot of bad pres lately, but that is because the media is run by idiots.

I think that if you sat down and talk with her, then you would find that she is a pefectly sweet and nice person.

I think the guy in the background is staring at all the dried-up cum on the back of her dress

The guy behind her is attempting to look down her dress for for a cheap "cleavage-peep". The disturbed look on his face is realizing that there are somalians with bigger breasts than lindsey. Considering where lindsey used to be with her breast size, I am so pumped to do 5 eight-balls of co-ca-eeena....damn, that bitch snorted enough coke to turn herself into a tit-less ghost

What a pretty tent!

I thought she was funny on SNL. But right when I start like her, she goes out and does something stupid, so I'm waiting for the aftermath.

#27, Entertainment Whore wins for best line today...."Sperm Burping Road Whore" LOL!!!! I'm going to use that one on the gals at the DMV and see if I can get my license renewed faster.

Yeah, i think we are a little too hard on Lindsay sometimes... shes looking better, but I still miss Lindsay circa late '04 (Mean Girls Lindsay)... now she was hot...

Is it just me or anyone else here is JUST FED UP OF THIS HO???

Lindsay Lohan this, Lindsay Lohan that, OMG
what talentless piece of nothing is Lohan, I mean her only talents are to pose for pictures, to puke her guts and of course to snort coke, does she really deserves this much attention????!!! well.. er NOOOOO

i think the guy behind her is looking at her crusty thong down around her ankles...

#18 ~ Translation - I've also noticed how superficial comments are more about making me jealous of other commenters than usual. I mean where's the cock in that? The people here who have become well known probably have the biggest cocks, so making fun of them isn't worth it, they have the millions of dollars and I like drinking douche out of the bag.
P.S. Lindsay Lohan, what can you say? Look at her, wow. Ha ha. She must be on coke LOL. She is too skinny/ fat. Her clothes are ugly. Whatever! LOLOLOL!!! OMG! She was in the Parent Trap. I'd hit it. OMG!

Do I smell 8 inches?
Is that a sub or Wilmer?
Kate, one more line so I can get my sense of smell back, please........

I would love to say something meaningless and stupid about this woman - but I am over 12 and I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANY OF HER MOVIES.
I assumed SNL split for summer in February as usual. It's still on ?
Ran out of ideas after the Adams injury... Sorry Lind's...

36. Check out the velvet hot tub today.. Praise Jesus... and Bono..

Ewwww. She's such a skanky ditch-pig.

She is REALLY haggard looking to be only 19! Gezzzz, I'd hate to see this chick at 35...she's already NOT aging well...

#15, Mr. Fritz - marry me!! Although I am already hitched I have always told the other half I would leave him once I found someone else who could quote verbatim the Syncronized Swimming skit on SNL circa 1985. This is a close second.
I am bored with all of these whiners today!!!

Lohan only appears to love the cock.

I am the genuine article.

Hugs and Kisses,

Mr Cruise

This bitch needs to have the snot slapped out of her. What's the deal, she's 19 going on 42? I just do not get it. She is so fucking ugly even if she wasn't so damn skinny.

Please,PLEASE, stop reporting on her activities. It makes me want to vomit.

what is she in that she hosted snl again? when i think of hohan, she's in the same category as the hilton's with the only difference of how old her body looks. it looks used and handed down. can't wait for the pics of her at the age of 26. leather skin on the way, all around. yuck!

She looks as though she's about to use the word "indubitably" in a sentence.

#18 you're queer for using your name as your screenname. At least pretend your name is something like totally super cool like Tad Holloway or something! And this site is for making fun of everything under the sun. When the post & corresponding comments become boring it's game on!

Crack, a hellofa drug. I love the guys expression........ maybe she's having a Teen Kids Award Moment Part Duex and her ass is hanging out

Spangler... uh... she was in pre-pubescent in Parent Trap. Many girls are that thin. But, that aside, I think she looks fine, not too thin.

#22: I wrote this earlier on another post and not afraid to say it again:

Note to self: If I start to defend celebrities on the Superficial then they will read the posts & maybe find me & make me their bestest friend. And then we can go to parties, and like, get mani/pedis together. It's going to be completely mental I must say!

Lindsay, love the Hefty Bag yer wearin, when ya done wearin it ya can fill it up with all the blow, it's multi-purpose!!!!

# 18
I agree totally of course. The scroll on my mouse has had more action than any of the women I've dated.
But in FireFox - Hit 'Edit' - 'Find In This Page' - Binky. Saves me a lot of time anyway.

That's actually me in the background. My thought at that moment was, "My god, I stuck my dick in that? At least it wasn't Paris again..."

i useto like lindsay and iv slowly began to HATE her now i say go the f@#$ away.

I wish a homeless whino would pimp slap her with a leftover Spam sandwich. Slap her right in the face, then lick her neck, then Spam slap her again. Then I hope she starts crying, and this makes the homeless man laugh and he has just two rotten, brown teeth. Then he uses those two teeth to bite her on the shoulder, causing her to bleed a little. Then he would take the Spam off the bread and use it to stop the bleeding. And finally he would pee on her back as she tried to run off. I understand that this is a little weird, but the visual is great.

#57 That was perfection but in my version it's Megan Harris and the homeless guy eats the bread full of Spam, Blood and Pee and then he pukes directly in her mouth.
Sorry - didn't mean to mess with perfection.

#39 I'm going to tell Mommy what you did with her measuring tape.

SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL THIS STUPID GIRL THAT HER INCESSANT POSING MAKES HER LOOK LIKE AN ASS. NOT MENTION THAT STUPID BLOW KISS.

OH MY GOD LINDSAY HAS A DOUBLE CHIN! Lindsay, quick, you better go lose some more weight, fatass!

Re: The guy staring disdainfully at Linday Lohan's ass- Maybe her dress is stuck in her panties again and hes staring at her freckly pasty Wilmer stretched out ass cave.. cause for him its either something about it smells or looks nasty. Further research is needed but it doesn't take a detective to determine that his look says something is not right with her ass.

She's just looking around for Aunt Katie. She wants to get knocked up by a scientologist too!

#22 "Those girls are pressured to be thin. She was that thin in the Parent Trap."
And no one bitched about her weight then, right? Is that what you are implying? Well, you are right, no one bitched...because it was NORMAL! Of course she was thin in Parent Trap, my daughter is that thin too and its not really a problem, but thats because she's 12, just like Lohan was when she filmed that!!! NOT 19!! To be that thin at 12 when you are still developing is fine, to be that "thin" when you are supposed to be "healthy" and finished with puberty not so fine.

she wears a garbage bag well

#32 bahahhaahha

Lindsay Lohan loves the smock.

Cocaine is a helluva drug.

Lohan loves the coc.

What's the over/under on how long before Lohan pulls a Pvt.Pyle or Savannah and puts one in her own head. Can't be much more than 2 years, I think.

Funeral dress?

I will never understand this bitch's fake-ass orange tan.. it doesn't exactly complement her mass of freckles, either. She looks like she's shoved one too many carrots up her ***.

#59 CruisingForCock, are you making fun of me? If you are it was a poor attempt, your jokes are weak and trust me PapaHotNuts doesn't need your help, retard!! I'm sure he likes it when you lick the tip of his dick, I mean who doesn't. You should change your name to CockSucker, hopefully your better at that, then you are at Stallion hating......

oh christ.... this girl is asking for a verbal whooping.

I bet she's thinking: haha! I'll prove them all wrong... my nostrils ARE still intact!

Sorry, Lohan, but we all see they are crumbling away along with your fans and boobs.

#71 Stallion I'll read #71 to her. Dunmbass (oh yeah- that is me making fun). And I wasn't trying to help him, Stronzo.

LOL the guy behind lindsay looks SO disappointed!!

those hands at both sides of the picture are there to prevent her to show her skinny ass again...

it sickens me that this insipid, ugly, overinflated person represents a generation. she's no different than american idol, why think when you can connect her dots! where is the intelligence? where is the beauty? she is
butt ugly!

My biggest problem with this LiLo story is the part that says "successful night hosting SNL." Well...unless of course by successful, the SF means unfunny, tedious, lame, unoriginal, awkward, repetitive, under-Samberg-utilized, stupid, stale and boring.

i will say this for miss lohan....she had very nice hair. BUT its obviously fake. But still....love the hair.

But the rest of her sure is the pits...especially the personality and the lack of talent.

That's a nice Moomoo she's wearing, Jesus Lindsay lose some weight fatty.

Mike Rowe of "Dirty Jobs" is hot.

I just thought of him because Lohan is a dirty cow vagina, and he just had his arm thrust up a dirty cow vagina this week...all the way to the elbow...which is how I heard Lohan likes it.

See how life is cyclical?

This girl always looks like she was fished out of a vat of hair dye and couture cast-offs from the goodwill bin around back of Jagpeeps Zip-n-Go.

Hey, give the girl a break! She's probably just drowning her sorrows in booze and coke after being dumped as the new face of Louis Vuitton.

She is about as hot as I would be if I dressed up in drag and put on make-up (and became bulemic, anorexix and addicted to heroine and Trim Spa mixed together) Which isn't very hot at all for those of you who didn't get where I was going with that. Well..actually I'm pretty hot to start, so I guess that would mean that she is just alright.

That's right. I am an ass.

Thanks Biatcho, I am flattered. My fiance loves my impersonation of Phil Hartman impersonating Charlton Heston "Soylent Green is made from people!".

Thanks Biatcho, I am flattered. My fiance loves my impersonation of Phil Hartman impersonating Charlton Heston "Soylent Green is made from people!".

Missy Lohan is fine. She's just a kid. She's a star and she's a kid. Shrug. It will be interesting to see where she goes next. Is she going to clean up her act or is she going to go even more nuts before it's all over with?

The guy with the yellow tie: "Oh, Dude don't touch that!"

#49. last time I checked, brian molko was the singer from Placebo.
P.S. Lohan sucks, i tried watching her SNL performance and I fell asleep. The end.

This is actually a picture of Drew Barrymore from her high school production of "Our Town". The man in the background is the Drama teacher, thinking "Oh, but that dress is H to the Ideous, girl! Somebody put that body bag out to pasture, puh-leez! I'm gay!"

Look at the picture and you'll see I'm totally right. Like always.

85: Soylent Green is Cow Pies!!!!!!!

85: Soylent Green is Cow Pies!!!!!!!

AAAHHHHH

If I see something else about Lindsay Lohan I'm gonna go shoot her!!!!

I slowly passed from find her annoying to dislike her, to dislike her a lot, to totally absolutely hate her, I feel this rage inside everytime I see her anywhere!!, why do people give so much importance to a drug addicted bulimic ugly trailer trash piece of shit???

About 95% of the comments are anti-Lindsay. I hate her. She's a scank/crack whore/(insert diregatory comment). I think some of you doth protest too much. She is in the papers way too much for a 19 year old, yes she's so far not done Shakespeare, and the worst stories I've seen about her (that anyone has evidence of - I don't think hear-say counts - think of the sources of some of these stories) is that she's wrecked her car 3 times in as many weeks. You guys need to make up your mind about weight. Lindsay's thin, so she does cocaine, Mariah's fat so she's a cow - when a year or two ago Lindsay was just as volumptuos. What a bunch of hippocrits. Now Paris Hilton I have a problem with...but I'm not going to go on about how skinny or fat she is. This is a sensitive issue and all women should know better.

Maybe she was just trying to be funny/sarcastic in her "posing."

What female celebrities do you think ARE attractive?!

since heifferzz thinks we're all "celebrities" on here I guess I would bang mamacita. But only if MeganHarris was filming it. And only if I were a lezbo.

Nicole Richie was crawling out of her ass in this shot. The guy behind her is just about to get a whiff of the afterbirth.

Shitty dress...you can almost see right up her nose, how darling of her!

Oh mannn, i just saw a trailer for this new movie she's doing called "Just My Luck", it look fucking awful, one of those stupid romantic comedy's with Lindsay being all klutzy and dumb looking, in like a million different bad outfits. STAY AWAY!!!!

My sisters friend had a small part in the movie "Mean Girls" and said Lindsay really is a stuck up bitch that thinks she's too good to even speak to "bit parters" unless she's on screen.

My best friends' sisters' brothers' girlfriend saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

#95

She admited she does drugs, and she hasn't say anything about quitting them, to be thin doesn't make her a cocaine addicted, but her awful attitude and nasty social life are not the ones of a saint, come one, she fingers in every third picture, in some pics she is literally holding the bottle, so if you are still one of those Lohan's fans who believe the fairytales that she is an adorable teen the news are that she is not in like in Parent trap any more, she does drugs, and maybe alcohol and other nasty things too.

I love the look of sheer look of disgust on the face of the guy behind her. That dress looks cheaper than anything I saw the last time I popped into Forever 21.

#49 - I totally agree. Another case-in-point sucky name? MeganHarris. Good one? See #99 - LouBricant.

@103

Anyone? Anyone?

Something DOO economics. VOODOO Economics.

Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home.

Paris Hilton called - she wants her look back. And, that dress is not hot!!

He'll keep calling me, he'll make me feel guilty. I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I... I'll go. arrrrggghhh, ROONEY!!!!

@110

I think PapaHotNuts is the real Sausage King.

Good thing she has a sexy body to make up for it.

No wait, it's a praying mantis in a sequined potato sack.

My heart belongs to Mr. Fritz, he's my sausage king.

that pic is freaking hilarious. That guy's face is priceless. It's not an I want to tap that face like someone said before, it's a face of utter disgust, like eww get away from me you smelly bag lady.

#112- LMAO @ the praying mantis comment!

@ 112 and 115:

It's prEying mantis, not prAying mantis... PREYING not "Praying" .. WTF?? ...This isn't PTL!!!

The insect is prEying on other insects, not shaking a Pentecostal snake and prAying for them.

PREYING MANTIS

WOW! Did anybody notice Lindsay Lohan is desperate for attention, who would of thunk it.

WOW! Who would of thunk it Lindsay Lohan is desperate for attention and not afraid to show it. What a brave little trooper.

@116

Well, you're usually funny, so I won't try to make you feel like a dumb ass. From dictionary.com:

pray·ing mantis
n.

A green or brownish predatory insect (Mantis religiosa) that while at rest folds its front legs as if in prayer.

I want to meet misshohan and personally ebat her ass for being such a skalnky bitch to everyone and everything. GReat now my computer screen smells like Skank!

I want to meet misshohan and personally ebat her ass for being such a skalnky bitch to everyone and everything. GReat now my computer screen smells like Skank!

what a tool

she looks like she snorted a pound of coke.

to the person a few below that made the comment about how much lindsay has accomplished: okay, here's where i'm confused...Lindsay Lohan is about the age of a college sophmore, and she's acheived 99% more than most people her age....as a university student i'm insulted. I work hard, and I rarely ever have time to myself as when I am not in class, studying, or writing term papers, I'm working to help support myself, and I would like to mention I do it all without the benefit of multiple trips to the hospital for exhaustion and fake asthma.

I resent on behalf of the millions of university students in North America the implication that because we are not initially famous for stealing Hilary Duff's boyfriend, and a few (bad) Disney movies that that emaciated party girl has somehow achieved more than we have. Some of us will continue to be productive members of society long after the age of 25, while Lindsay spends her time in skeezy bars talking about the time she used to be famous for banging Fez from that 70's show.

i would like to set her on fire and then watch Cruise and his famliy toast marshmellows over her blazing 45lbs body!..

you guys are crazy -- who cares about Lindsay Lohan getting a bad wrap -- she LIVES for that shit man, have you ever heard the phrase "no publicity = bad publicity" -- she's getting publicity up the ass and it's hooking us all in, we're all dying to see what Lindsay does next, whether she acts like a pompus bitch and makes Jessica Simpson cry or admits to anorexia -- we love it, we eat it up -- we're all playing right into that.

Lindsay "I Am The Queen Of Drug Addiction Kate Moss Has Nothing On Me and To Prove It I Will Sleep With Every Ugly Man In The World Because I Like Them For Their Personality Not The Free Publicity! Give Me Some Crack Darling Im Parched. I Love You Hilary Duff !"

Lindsay Says "I Am The Queen Of Drug Addiction Kate Moss Has Nothing On Me and To Prove It I Will Sleep With Every Ugly Man In The World Because I Like Them For Their Personality Not The Free Publicity! Give Me Some Crack Darling Im Parched. I Love You Hilary Duff !"
See I Can Make Up Stuff That Comes True Too .. Its A Gift Really !!

She's still a hottie!