Apr 17 2006Kylie Minogue has new look

Just as sexy as Natalie Portman.

I take it back. I missed the part about the cancer. I suck ass.

#2....but I try harder...
Next thing ya know she'll be ripping up pictures of Il Papa! Oh, snap! Hiya Peeker!
Ya'll have a day!

...and I can't count! She can rock that new 'do and get away with it!

she looks pretty! i'd hit it

I think she's very brave for even announcing that she has breast cancer. She could've just hidden out for a while as she went through chemo and such, but she's showing off how she feels. I admire any cancer survivor. She rocks and that's it.

I think she looks beautiful, kinda glowy... very brave after what she's been through. But then if Oliver was taking my pic, I'd be kinda glowy too... he's gorgeous. They will have beauuuutiful babies.

I'm with #6, more power to her.

Let's hope she beats cancer.

She's always sexy.

I was in Italia this weekend visiting family and I gave her herpes. No need to worry though, if she can overcome cancer, herpes should be a walk in the park. Which is funny because thats how we met!!

I do not think cancer is funny by any means, I'm just an asshole at heart, sorry.........

she looks very pretty, and younger, too. I have to say I'll bet a night w Olivier puts a glow in your cheeks!

Cancer survivors do rock, but after the stuff I heard when she first announced it, I feel a little less for her . . .Correct me if i'm wrong, but didn't her "people" cut off her entire hospital floor to visitors so that the other patients couldn't have their families come see them? I don't care who you are; that's just wrong.

She needs to have her roots done.

useless post. It's going to bring nothing but a bunch of bleeding hearts with all their well-wishes, and then all the fucking assholes who get mad at people like Italian Stallion for doing what is supposed to be done on here.

next post please...

Wow, this woman really inspires me - inspires me to turn the sound off when her video comes on! *comedic drum / snare finish* Uh, she also inspires me to not get cancer and be more pretty. I'm gonna work on that.

She inspires me to never visit the dentist that she and Hillary Duff obviously share. I <3 veneers that look like Chiclets.

wow, it's refreshing to see some nice comments on this site. I was going to have to get upset if people were making fun of a cancer survivor *_*

Um... I like her arm. It's nicely toned and slim - but not as skeletal as she used to be.

Why is Sinaed O'Connor back in the news?

I think the haircut is cute, she looks like a pixie!

Kylie Minogue only got cancer because she's a desperate media hog who will do anything to be in the spotlight, just like all celebrities.

She looks great! I am digging the new do. Congrats to her!

If she really wanted to be popular, she would go to Africa and adopt a baby with cancer, then cure it with love and some rockin' pop tunes. Then she could give birth to her own child while on a safari in the African wilderness of the Serengeti, while riding on the back of a near- extinct African white tiger. Then her and Bono could sing a duet about cancer and tigers and childbirth in Africa and most likely save the world together through the power of music.

That was stupid.

#7 & 11 My thought exactly.

Olivier between the sheets = glowy on the cheeks.

Glad to see that she got rid of the lice problem.

Hmmm, it's hard to come up with something tasteless to say about a person who nearly died from cancer. Thanks Superfish for making this a challenge, especially for someone who made a guest appearance on one of my favorite shows, "The Vicar of Dibley." But OK I'll try...

I'd hit it.

Was that good enough? All the Natalie Portman/Auschwitz references were already taken.

Son of a bitch!!! Do I ever want one of those Wendy's Frescata sandwiches!!!! I hear Kim got fired from KFC and started working at Wendy's. Kim, be a dear, and pick me up one of those black forest ham bitches and I'll give you the money when you get here.

This is what I read last year. Cancer does not protect you from being a rich bitch.

http://news.scotsman.com/topics.cfm?tid=631&id=607652005

who wants to beat the crap out of posters who spend about 3 days thinking of a really cool name and then agree with trophywife's comments?

#16, lmao with your comment. It's a shame that she has cancer, but I never thought she was attractive.

#29 I will help you beat the crap out of him/her, but must concede that is a pretty cool name. Can come in handy later when most of the posts are guaranteed to be boring. But when we have our rumble I want to be the Jets, n'kay?

Geez. I'd still hit it, but with that long hair and that ass, Kylie has long been a poster girl for my kinky and nasty sexual fantasies. She still looks hot.

29 - trophywife, where is she?! Bring her to me, I wish to wrap her face in saran wrap and take a shit on it.

33

I humbly welcome you to the world of scatology. As an initiation rite, I get to take a shit on your face first. Without the saran wrap. You lucky girl.

I just want to shit on trophywife's face - now things have gotten all complicated and scientific. I wonder what Kylie Minogue would do?...

OshKosh: I know what her sister would do...

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/02/09/dannii_minogue.html

She'd make all of the other scatologists leave so she could shit on trophywife first. The toothy bitch. Hmmmm. When I say "toothy bitch", I could be talking about trophywife OR Kylie Minogue. You just know trophywife has veneers.

I really hate all those whiny annoying twats that come to a blog like this to defend their favourite stars, call everyone else "haters", and act in a psycho manner that leads me to suspect that they might hunt me down and kill me in my sleep for saying that Britney is a fat, whit trash dumb bitch. But..
i love kylie! im so happy she looks healthy and beautiful!
http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com

I've been waiting for the perfect time to debut a phrase that is sure to be a Superfish staple. I've been brainstorming, writing, rewriting, and consulting thesaurus.com for weeks, and now I am ready to share my jewel. So, without further ado, I bring you the highly-anticipated, soon-to-be Superfish mantra....

Tom Cruise Loves the Cock!

P.S. I am sorry to report that I have patented the phrase "Tom Cruse Loves The Cock." You all owe me one hundred zillion dollars. Or you may make a donation to the Xenu Fund of Namibia.

She looks... Australian.

The waiting period on cancer survivors has passed for Kylie.

So I can say is that the haircut reveals what I'd suspected all along - girl's had some work done AND those chompers are huge.

Booface #40 I can't believe you patented the phrase "Tom Cruse Loves The Cock". What a waste of time because we have all been saying "Tom Cruise Loves The Cock". We don't owe you shit dumbass..........

This is her new look? PLA-EAZZZEE girlfriend- Chemo is SOOO last year!

I had to shave my head when the cradbs migrated from down under, too.
But seriously, can't knock her. A) it's cancer B) she's never done anything to expilictly piss me off.

Trophywife, are you like those bitches from the Bravo show - The Real Wives of OC, or whatever? You're probably raising two cute, little, blond children who can walk on water. Your husband probably called you "the one that got pregnant" when you got married and new he calls you "the pussy he doesn't take out."

#43

Damn you, Stallion! I can't believe I patented the wrong phrase. I bet you've gone and registered the correct one yourself, you greedy bastard. If only I had taken that whore Kim's advice and completed the third grade...this never would've happened.

You shouldn't gloat. The real loser here is the Xenu Fund of Namibia.

#45 - sorry, so not me. i have one cute little blonde ADD daughter, although she is a pretty good kid (sorry to disappoint). she's been promised to the Xenu offspring so when she's old enough she can morph all haters of her mama to another planet (seems as though there's enough of you). my husband actually calls me "the reason i left my first wife" as i call him "da man to financially support me".

#37 - no, mamacita, no veneers yet as that's one of the last of the original parts on me but now that you mention it, maybe i'll look into it...

#33 - oshkosh my love, you are wanting to wrap me in saran and shit on my face... so we can be twins? how sweet... xoxoxo

#47

You should've changed that last line to: "I know you are, but what am I?"

Then it would've been the second lamest comeback.

47 - Here's a lie: You are hilarious and it didn't take you 45 minutes to write that gem of a post.

47 - A prediction: On your 3rd "38th" birthday your husband now refers to you as "The woman I left for a younger but equally insecure and ignorant gold-digging slut, which wasn't hard to find".

oh oshkosh, how i knew you would comeback with something profound and just but as usual... you bore the living shit out of me.

and boo my sweet... and that was not the lamest post how???

the pilates girls are waiting... it's off to starbucks!!

buh-bye xoxoxo

47 - and finally, if we were to be twins you would need to shoot yourself in the face and come back as somebody who's parents didn't raise them to be a smug, obnoxious, and attention-starved cunt. Have a nice time in Pilates, i.e. that quart of ice cream you're shoveling into your fat face.

She's such a hoot.

Plus I bore the living shit out of her because she doesn't take to reading all that much. She just likes the sound her nails make on the keyboard.

P.S. Your daughter hates you.

#51

You should've changed that second line to: "I know you are, but what am I?"

Then it would've been the second lamest comeback.

#51: buh-bye??? s Earlier somebody made mention of SNL not being funny in the last 15 years - I totally agree and it is because of this fucking saying.
I bet you also like the sority girls bit "OOH MAH GAHD You're nails are like sooo awesome!!!"

By the way: The pictures of Monogue totally just reminded me of Sinatra Group with Phil Hartman: "Sinbad O'Connor - I look at you and I think 8 ball in the corner pocket".

To all of the posters, let me quote from that fascinating and inspiring man Rodney King: "Can't we all just get along?" If not, can I watch the cat fight?

#46 I can't believe you called me a Bastard, that really hurt my feelings. Now I must go cry myself to sleep in Osh's big titties, in case you are wondering they are what Tony the Tiger would say............

Hey biatcho, who's hotter? Rita Hayworth of Ava Gardner? I disqualify myself because I banged them both.

Mr. Fritz, I have chunks of guys like you in my stool!

You know who else loves the cock? Trophywife's hubby. I go over there everytime she's at that damn pilates class. And when she's out stuffing her face at starbucks. and when she takes the kid to her adhd playgroup. and when she's playing hide the salami with the jiffy-lube guy. and when....

59 - Thanks Mr. Stallion. And you have nice balls. They're very large and soft. And do I detect a hint of cinnamon?

Hey Biatcho,
You've got it, kid. You listen to me - you've got a Ben Vereen quality, I can't put my finger on it. Take the high road, baby!

Steve - KICK HIS ASS!!

Nope, it's doublemint, I have both mine.....

Next week, the Grammy Awards. Where the hell is Vicki Carr's album? Bye bye Keep the hands up, Steve

she looks gross...
but she has cancer...
now i feel bad.

<3.

Charlaurz McHall- you always include a link to celebrityreligion.com. Do you work for them or something?

Kylie would still be hot in coveralls scrubbing my toilet. But then again so would any chick. Any girls out there not busy later?

I usually do all my housework in lederhosen and stilettos, but I could do coveralls if it turns you on.

71 - St.Minutia is a slut!
Sluts are awesome!

I'm gonna bang Mr. Fritz.

I just love the amount of tits that feature on celebrity Religion. Check it out..
http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com/celebrity_religion/2006/04/pious_puppies.html

oh, and dont forget the jesus-cock...
http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com/celebrity_religion/2006/04/were_all_going_.html

Well hell. All these years I thought she was blond.

before any dipshit says anything

/sarcasm

#16 my immidiate thoughts were..Hilary Duff shaved her head? Those teeth...oy

#55 - OK, you have had your little jollies slamming me, my lifestyle, my looks... you can make fun of me, my fake tits, my trips to starbucks. hell, you people can even joke about my husband liking to take it up the ass... but when you, you fucking cunt, even mention my daughter, you have reached an all new low. you can all laugh about how trophy wife is trying to be "queen of attention" or whatever but keep my fucking daughter out of it.

you want to touch off a sore spot with me so i dont post this fake shit anymore? you got it you bitch.

ciao

#16 exactly! My first thought upon seeing that pic was..Hilary Duff shaved her head?

#79

Buh-bye!

arite i love kylie!! shes pretty hot.
my autny cuts her hair!!! she also cuts her grandmothsers and mothers.. kylie wanted her to cut it
shes awesome haha

What can I say besides she doesn't look half bad for bald chick. But her music still sucks cancer or no cancer that has not changed.

#16 Her eyes are WAAAY prettier than Hillary Duff's. OK, maybe I'm biased cuz blue is my favorite color.

Wait - never mind, the comment was about her TEETH.

Ok ladies, let's not get our panties in a bunch. This a message board to crap on celebrities. It's easy to bitch and complain about others anonymously. Still, I am sure I am not the only who is tired of this bantering. Hey, Biatcho, thanks for stroking my ego. Next issue: this crap with M-TV. With the nudity and all. What is this crap? Sinbad O'Connor.

Hey Mr Fritz, I'm with you, tired of it myself... I've only made a few comments and then get lambasted by a select few. Maybe it was a slow "news" day, maybe I was PMSing but my daughter is nada territory. End of story. Oshkosh is usually pretty damn funny, but she won't get off my ass and others have joined the bandwagon (see TaiTai at 1am). Sorry if I lost it :)

I'm all for bashing the celeb peeps and having a little fun with it too :) I agree with someone who posted earlier, can't we all just get along and bash the celebs instead of each other? I'm all for a good ribbing but good lord...

SO, that being said... help me out here, nudity on MTV is bad???? ;)

Hey Trophywife, no worries mate. We all have our moments. My last post is a reference to an SNL skit. Phil Hartman was impersonating Frank Sinatra and had a talk show that resembled "The McLaughlin Group". One of the guests was Sinead O'Connor (played by Jan Hooks) and Sinatra kept calling her different names. Kylie looks kinda like her but with horse teeth.

#87 -- if you have anymore "sore spots," try not to mention them in your posts. If you put it out there -- that you have a daughter who is blonde, has ADD, and hates you -- then it's pretty much fair game.

If you dare to climb the tree, don't be pissed when the monkeys fling their crap at you. xoxo

well i never said what she looked like or that she hated me but i got your point. thanks for the advice :)

i wanna fling poo at something but there's no new articles :(

xoxo

BTW Fritz, Phil Hartman was a god.... only reason to watch SNL reruns :)

BTW Fritz, Phil Hartman was a god.... only reason to watch SNL reruns :)

Mr Fritz, have you joined the Player With Yourselves Club yet?

92 - That's exactly why I said it, you stupid cunt. It got to you like herpes simplex B got to Paris Hiltons asshole. When some stranger who knows nothing about you other than what you've volunteered (which is, albeit, a lot) says something to you on an internet post, you shouldn't take it so fucking personally. You obviously need a therapist to help you figure out what you've done to make your daughter hate you so much.
*Parting catch phrase from 1985 ala "Ciao"*
Oh, I know: Hasta la vista, Baby!

Kylie should just die already. I hope she gets cancer.

I hope she gets cancer.

hon, now you are just sad.... such evil... and i'm the one that needs the therapist? ha ha ha ha

i figure with others getting tired of this crap, i'll sit this round out but stick around and make comments when i wanna and watch you make an ass out of yourself when you slam me, it's kinda fun watching it :)

Land-Man is awesome. You can tell he's totally trying to get everyone riled up with weakly offensive half-sentences. How original! Here's a lesson for you, Land-Man: Offensive shit is funny when it's A) self-deprecating B) over the top or C) subtly understated in a way that people understand. Other than that you might as well log on just so you can type the word "nigger" or perhaps "I molest children" and then log back off. Clearly you're some kind of genius or idiot-savant.

#86 - Hey Fritz, I'm tired of the bantering too... I'm going anonymous from now on :)

Thanks for the words of wisdom :)

Oh, hey trophywife, I thought you were leaving!

We'll be able to tell who you are because of the smell...
Change your screen name to PunchingBag!

Alright. Anyone who doesn't want to partake in bantering then go to some other piece of shit place & read the news (guaranteed to be some sort of really interesting story about that tragic earthquake that took place in San Francisco a thousand years ago - that's what you're looking for so have at it).
This site is for funny, semi-retarded people such as myself (funny excluded) who seriously do nothing but make fun of people all day long. I literally get paid to do that because all I do is bust chops on every one of my co-workers all day long and I get a pay check for it. When I actually am sitting in my office pretending to do work I log on here & make fun of even more people - it makes me feel exotic to make fun of someone who goes to "univerisity in europe" from my desk in ny.
Now if you have something funny to say about the celebrity the post happens to be about, write it. After a while it gets boring, so pick on some douchebag who sounds like they need to get picked on & write something nasty about them.
If said person gets offended - get even nastier. This isn't rocket science people & it's a fantastic little waste of time when you're bored! So if you can't take the shitsmell get the fuck off your throne.
And if you don't want people getting personal with you keep your shit life to yourself because we don't fucking care.

i think i just had explosive diahrrea.

Hey biatcho, this is just for you, babe:
I'm Telly Savalas. And if you're like me, you like to be near the action. And when there isn't any action, then you gotta make your own. And baby, that's when you need to join the Player-With-Yourselves Club. That's right, baby. The Player-With-Yourselves Club entitles you to masturbation privileges at hotels all over the world. Who loves yourself, baby?"

Mr. Fritz you really know how to make a gal feel all tingly inside. Oh wait, no, it's just the explosive diahrreah. Or maybe a little bit of both... this is going to be an interesting sick day for me.

My poor biatcho, I hope you recover soon. It sucks to take a sick day when you are actually sick. When you feel better you and your hubby should go away on vacation. So, what are you waiting for? Take it from Telly - this card opens a lot of doors! Well, I gotta go. I have a date with a Marilyn Chambers classic.

Marilyn Chambers addict? I should say you have been a card-carrying member of the Club for a looong time! cheers!

Natalie Portman, Kylie Minogue and Sinead O'Connor all agree:

TOM CRUISE LOVES THE COCK (and tasty, cancer-free afterbirth)

Nothing like using your battle with cancer as a career boost. I bet she'll use this "opportunity" to morph into a more mature "artist" and shed her anus-pop image.

Nothing like using your battle with cancer as a career boost. I bet she'll take this "opportunity" to morph into a more mature "artist" and shed her anus-pop image.

Nothing like using your battle with cancer as a career boost. I bet she'll use this "opportunity" to morph into a more mature "artist" and shed her anus-pop image.

Nothing like using your battle with cancer as a career boost. I bet she'll take this "opportunity" to morph into a more mature "artist" and shed her anus-pop image.

Trophywife, fine we'll keep your daughter out of it. MY daughter hates you. I'll throw her into anything monkey knife fights, kitten juggling, the underground railroad, whatever.

Got that bitches? Her daughter is a sore spot, so don't say anything about her. She's probably retarded and gods knows we don't pick on the retards around here...

112... thank you, you found out my secret and why i was so upset... we must keep the world's retards tightly guarded

xoxoxo

Now, if only she could do something about her ridiculous buck teeth. At least her forehead doesn't look like a movie screen anymore.

all of you stop lying!..she looks fucking rediculous...BUT...i'll let it go cos of the cancer...not funny at all and God bless her for fighting through it. i wish her a good recovery! (least i'm fucking honest!)

I gave the tip for this story and was never given credit for it! Thanks superficial for stealing my work :)