Apr 27 2006Keira Knightley replaces Kate Moss

FIRST?

Sweet. I love coming first. I'll go back and read the article and you can all pick on me.

Replacing one bone rack with another, how original. And yes, pinky, you were first, damn you, but it doesn't count if you don't say something witty too.

I have so little to get excited about whilst at work. After all, I don't work for the "iconic house of chanel". F you Keira.

I'd hit it, and I don't even like women

I just wanted to get this thread going by saying:

sherry-co is a ho.

TCLTC.

scientology rapes dead orangutans.

Kirstey Alley is still a big fat fatty scientologist.

So is sherri-cumbucket.

And...

I miss Edna.

bigjim,

you have to mention meganharris!

barf barf barf

oh yeah... finally the coveted first post

This sucks… foiled again!

You think that's a good endorsement? You should see the deal they offered Tom Cruise at the iconic house of COCK

I read somewhere that she thinks she's "fatter" then other celebs, somehow in her lollipop-sized head she believes this so much, that Chanel signed her on as their Coco fragrance model. I do think she's a bit delusional, but she is better than Lindsay Lohan in that she's a hundred times more classier. Besides she posed nude on Vogue with Scarlett, that's like SO much more classier and worthy of an bullshit fashion endorsement.

Just imagine her and Kate Moss getting into a huge argument over who gets to replace who devolving into a coke-fueled orgiastic "bitch brawl", with elbows, knees, scapulae and ribs slicing up everything around them. That would be awesome, especially the make up sex afterwards.
Then again, I climbed on a pile of coat hangers once, and it kind of hurt...

she has the body of a 10 yr old boy and her acting makes me want to shove serrated knives in my ears but she's better than Moss.

#4

here, here... cheers and salutations for pink_nip... you are right on the money! What a little crap stain she is... besides, her face is middle of the road fugly and her body, nothing but sticks!!!

I think her, Jessica Simpson, The Olson Twins, and Paris Hilton are like interchangable Bratz dolls with big sunglasses. I would like to line them all up and watch them scream while a big mechanical penis sprays mayonaise on their faces and high fashion clothing. Then I would like to put them on a big sandwich and feed them to Edna - just for the sake of keeping with the "theme" we have going here...

Ugly replaces ugly, that makes sense.

As far as Enda goes, I saw let her and if she comes back it was meant to be if she never does - her and Papa must be on their honeymoon.

God, what the hell is so special about Kiera Knightley? Yawn, next.

#13:

They have more important things to fight about, like:

-who can survive on the fewest blades of grass they call a diet
-who is more see-through
-who wears the heavier shoes so they don't blow away in the first gust of wind
-who would make a better assassin by being able to render themselves invisible by turning sideways
-who can projectile their self-induced voms the furthest
-who can lose even more calories via nose blood loss from snorting way too much coke.

gogoboots, twas vanity fair

#14

What are you talking about, Kate Moss is way better, much more unusual and way cooler to look at overall.

And she's like, 20 and she's getting COLLAGEN INJECTIONS!!!

She does look a bit Jessica Simpson-ish in those pics, her lips are getting a bit ducky
-quack-

Collagen injections are the last thing this bitch needs. Some tits should be at the top of her list. Oh yeah, and acting lessions.

#16. just classic. classic.

did she cut her hair?

#23 - I guess at least she doesn't look as water-on-the-brain as that pic of Jessica in the Ashlee thread. And for the record, Jessica thinks the duck says meow.

Dear Jim,
Please stifle, and return to your proper position under my desk. Thanks,
-Management

... Sure, she should never have been nominated for an oscar, but I think she's gorgeous (most of the time).

Eh, but I concede--even with my girl crush on her, I still can't appreciate her fashion sense sometimes...

Jacq,
Everyone knows a duck says bawk bawk, even the kind from the Sea.
-pix

Ok, so who gets to replace Pete Doherty as a failing crackhead musician, Whitney Houston?

Oh, thats right, nevermind........

@16

How appropriate that you said Bratz dolls. I don't care if those dolls are made of plastic and completely inanimate, they are fucking whorebags. They wear thongs!!!!! Can you believe that?? They're marketed for little girls and they wear thongs!!!! While they're at it, why don't they just sell them with tiny condoms in their pockets and mini pregnancy tests!

@31

Lindsay Lohan? Although calling her a "musician" is using the word verrrrry loosely. But, she IS a crackhead and she DOES fail at life. 2 out of 3?

Have you guys ever seen the Bratz cartoons? Complete and utter whores. Edna must be off trying to REPORT the Bratz bitches.

I would support Edna in reporting those Bratz whores. My four-year-old daughter wants them for her birthday.

Me: "Jesus, [daughter], can't I just get you more of that stupid Polly Pocket crap that leaves a million fucking pieces all over my house for me to step on?"

Daughter: "No, Daddy, I want Bratz."

Me: "But [daughter], they're just a bunch of whores?"

Daughter: "What's a whore?"

Me: "Go ask your mother."

@35

Oh God, I feel your pain. My daughter is 8 and she wants those little bitches so bad. We have banned them from our house, but she inevitably gets one as a birthday/Christmas present from someone and we can't just take it away from her. I usually just rip their panties off. It's easier to explain that they got lost than trying to explain why the doll is wearing panties that show off its slutty ass.

I'd bang her with Tom Cruise's cock.

#32

They're not inanimate. When I lived in New Orleans, there was an entire family of them living in a building across from me. They spent most evenings turning tricks. Tiny, tiny tricks.

One of them even threatened to "slice my cracker ass" once when I parked my car in front of their driveway.

Then again, I did an awful lot of drugs in New Orleans and tended to be a little paranoid about my neighbors.

#21 Moss just isn't Chanel to me, she's too druggy strung out, more suited to McQueen or Galliano

@35/36

I recommend giving your daughters each a Sean Penn doll and a Bobby Brown doll. They can play "married" and "domestic violence" and "court-ordered drug rehab" along with "Bratz is Ho!"... Think of the hours of fun they'll have!

Slow news day today eh?

Damn. Thongs on dolls, I remember growing up with Barbies and they never had underwear. My grandmother would freaking crotchet me underwear for them. What a great feeling, wearing an afghan as underwear! Yuck!

I don't have kids, but is their a "pimpz" line so the sluts have some representation? Hopefully they're hung, unlike Ken. He had a nice smooth hump. Freaked me out.

I think everyone should buy their baby girls some thong diapers and nerf titties so they can know what the real world is gonna be like, kinda like how people give toy guns to little boys. I am the authority on this because I have no children.
I sleep peacefully every night after I get drunk and have hours of sex. And I only wipe my own ass, unless Trotter comes over and I give him an Edna.

*shrugs* I'd munch her rug.

So what Channel is telling us is that they only hire Anorexics to rep them.

They should save some money, just dig up Karen Carpenter.

Sometimes I give myself an Edna before I get DP... Ednas get you good and clean before you get all nasty and gang-banged

Brave New Idea: tits_on_snack should change his/her name to thongs_on_dolls.

Ah yes, maybe your right...

I'm not sure I understand the whole attraction of the DP. I, personally, would not want my cock that close to another man's cock.

Cuz that's just gay.

#39

Ah yes, maybe your right...

@49:

It's not for you, it's for us. Stop being so selfish.

@49

How is gang-banging a chick gay?

An "Edna Bambrick" is a sexual term describing ramming your cock as far into someone's throat as possible in order to sut up their incessant religious/nagging talk.

I'd love to do an "Edna Bambrick" on most posters here.

Keira Knightley??
Gross. Shes like 110Lbs and dosen't even have bullimia, how is she supposed to do print ads?

#51:

Can't we just use a butt plug or something?

On an unrelated note, I'm watching that FoodTV Show, "Everyday Italian" and Giada is making pesto. She just said "I can tell how thick it is just by touching it". Tee hee hee.

@57

Don't leave us hanging here... how thick is it????

#56:

Ok. I'm easy. Anyway, the position of DP seems a tad uncomfortable. Too many legs.

All those cooking shows are sexual. Just watch Rachel Ray for 10 minutes.

#45....what Channel is telling us is this....they hire skinny coke head girls "UNITL" they get caught on camera snorting 10 lines in 45 minutes, then they go hire another emaciated model and on and on and on..........

57 - That Giada's a slippery little slut. You can tell by how she stirs the sauce. What a dirty harlot.

Speaking of Rachael Ray..............

http://dlisted.blogspot.com/2005/03/rachel-ray-in-fhm.html

I checked out that link... all the pics are cute/sexy... chocolate, strawberries, apple pie... but a big fucking turkey??? WTF?

#63
She just got done "stuffing the turkey". *wink-wink*

Rachel Ray is annoying bitch and her show $40 a lay sucks

Brewdick... don't lie - you'd pay the $40 to stuff her turkey...

i'd pay 40k to stuff that bitch in an oven...

She was hot in Pride and Prejudice, when she actually stood up straignt and didn't have a pound and a half of eye liner under each eye. This picture isn't so flattering, but would I do her? You bet.

I'm sick of this thread. It's totally anorexic.

Let's get a fresh story here, like: "Edna Bamrick has threeway with Lush Rimjob and Condi Rice in White House Lobby"

She looks weird in that picture... I miss Edna... she'd report the superficial fro saying "cocaine"

on a hotness scale, she's on par with
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y45/kelizascop/Plate18a.jpg

Yeah, but on the plus side, if you hit it from behind you would have a perfectly flat surface upon which to rest your ashtray right between her shoulderblades. Or maybe Kate Moss's "cutting mirror".
I don't know if I'd hit it, but I'd certainly knock on her back door...

I am reporting all disgusting posts.

~Mamacita, I hope you know that Rachel Ray has been on my list of people to kill for a long time now, right below MeganHarris. But now that I've seen these pictures I just want to print them and hang them in my office so everyone can have a good laugh on Friday. Because Friday is Jeans Day! Hooray! I'm pretty sure I still want her to die, though.
~BigJim, how's it going on averageIQ.com/forrestgump/forums lately? I heard BubbaShrimp69 got in a fight with JJJennyzBox_A_Choklitt. Say it ain't so!

Fake Edna Bambrick is so passe.

@74

Consider this:

Yum-O
EVOO
Oh my gravy

Thanks for signing in, Edna Bambrick. Now you can comment.

76 - I hate, HATE that bitch. *Throwing up everywhere*.
I might even hate her more than MeganHarris, but don't tell her that.

@78

I always watch her show, but feel like I want to kill her the entire time. It's a really weird compulsion. Kinda like the way I'll sometimes watch Saved By the Bell reruns and the whole time, I just sit there ripping the show left and right. Gives me an outlet, I suppose. Speaking of Saved By the Bell, do you remember this episode?

http://www.bustedtees.com/shirt/imsoexcited/male

Did Kate still have problems of stopped drains? It is a good thing because Keira is really sexier than kate! hmmmm

http://www.lezlife.com

79 - Yes but 99% of the people who see that shirt won't get it so it's useless.
Was that Kelly or Jessie?
My husband tortures me by leaving it on her show when he's changing the channel. I can't stand her fucking face, the things she says, her quirky upbeat attitude about "mmm, this spanakopita is fabulous!!!" It's like she has hearts and smiley faces drawn around everything she says. And she has no tits. Things with no tits should not be on TV. This is America, dammit.
Rachel Ray is officially on notice.

Girl, that was Jessie. Remember, she had that singing group thing going, PLUS the damn midterms. What else can a girl do, but get hooked on caffeine pills? I hate the FoodTV montage commercial thing when Rachael Ray's little bit says something about "It's all about FOOD" and "You see how much good food you can make?". My chief complaint about her (and I have many) is that she always says EVOO, but then follows it by saying Extra Virgin Olive Oil. I'm always like "Jesus!!! Why'd you make up that stupid fucking abbreviation if you're just gonna say the whole thing right afterwards EVERY TIME???????!!!!!!!!"

P.S. Do you have any fucking idea what digypoke is talking about?

82 - I can only presume it has to do with poop.
Jessie Spano got me hooked on Zantrax 3. YES!
I'm not talking about Rachel Ray anymore. I makes me too homicidal for the general public to deal with. I'll wait until I get home.

Fisher 55, those magazines are so interchangeable...

She looks like Nichole Richie....I wont buy any Chanel products now.

hot hot hot

Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh :

"I would like to line them all up and watch them scream while a big mechanical penis sprays mayonaise on their faces and high fashion clothing."
------------------------------------------
So in other words, send them to a GWAR concert?

87 - That way we can listen to beautiful music while we watch! Brilliant!

I thought this was Lindsay Lohan, for a sec.

Bratz don't wear thongs, dumbass. I babysit kids that have them and the strip of fabric in the clothes is just there to keep to freaking skirts from riding up.

Cool, maybe Keira can start dating crackheads like good 'ol Petey just like Kate Moss too. It must be something with Chanel...they brainwash their models into doing coke for lunch and dinner (no one eats breakfast these days unless they are big heifers) and then have lots of dirty sex with dirty men to work off the remaining calories from the cocaine. Just a guess, though.

BadassFred? Babysitting? Little girls? And you've checked out the Bratz underwear? Oh for the love of Edna's cunt, why did you dig that hole for yourself?
Stupid stupid little boy....

#87: lol! Gwar! I went to high school with a girl who claimed she was in Gwar. She then died of a drug overdose. Complete liar.

@90

Let me get this straight. Did someone with the screen name "BadassFred" just call me a dumbass?

Well I don't give a shit if you hate me. I hate keira, well no, not really. i just don't like her, i think she's too british for me. I like Britpop, but not snotty lil brit girlie girls.

She needs to disappear.

KN is a poor man's Natalie Portman...

Big sunglasses don't buy you class anymore than money buys you taste.
Did anyone see a little movie called "The Hole"?

What is wrong with the fashion houses whoring themselves out to starlets? First Louis V with Lindsay Lohan and now this... They look more like dELiAs models to me.

I always wondered what does anorexia smell like... I suppose I have to buy Coco Mademoiselle fragrance to find out, then...

Eesh. What's the worst thing about Keira Knightly?

Her hips break when you fuck her.

#94 - Yeah, he's sooo fuckin' badass that he's a NANNY.
Tell me Mary Poppins, do these dolls walk around? How do their skirts ride up? You dry humping them? Is it hard to tickle their little clits? Thanks for the info. Douche.
You are the LAST person that should be around kids.

My name is Dom-eeno Har-vay. I AM a boonty hun-tah. And tom cruise loves the cock. Snoogans!

All these celebs who wear those huge glasses remind me of a (not so) scary movie I saw as a child. Some shit with a bunch of bees and the women ate honey and turned into bee-aliens. Something like that. I only really remember the scene when they finally got the person they had been after and she opened her eyes and *gasp* horror of horrors, she had been transformed. Her eyes were huge and buggy and black.

Does anyone remember this?

Even though I think she's hideous when she smiles and has the ugliet teeth ever, I have to say, Kate Moss is way messed up than this skinny bitch.

I could use Knightley and Moss as a set of two chop-sticks with which I'd eat Edna's sauteed sweet breads with a side of miso soup.

**I meant "sweetbread" not "sweet bread" .. Sweetbread, as in eating her brains, etc.

I hate when I do a spacing error. >=0

101 Lickylicky...it's called "Invasion of the Bee Girls"!!!! My hubby received it as a Xmas gift from his brother-in-law. He wanted to get him the most outrageous B-movie he could find...get it... "bee" movie....anyways.... Some crazy shit was made back in 1973!!!!

I always thought sweetbreads were organs found in the stomach cavity... some shit like that.

Could I be wrong?

#106

Not that it matters, but "sweetbreads" is the pancreas of a calf. Humans have a pancreas, but it's too bitter when cooked.

"I am reporting all disgusting posts."

I got a disgusting post for you.....

#107 Not when served with fava beans and a nice Chianti....

Naomi Cambell must be tearing out her eyes!!!! i read once, in some tabloid mag that naomi was dissing sienna miller for "becoming the new kate moss" but i think kiera is really hot!!
now if kate m could only find her man a toothbrush.....

I lost track of who said it earlier, but in agreement, I also thought it was a pic of Lindsay Lohan at first.

Jackie O called; she wants those sunglasses returned to her casket.

HUNDRED-AND-TWELVTH!!

HOORAY FOR MEEEEEE!!!!

SweeterSweetBoyfriendStealer, I know who you are. Your show "$40 a Day" makes me want to set Oklahoma City-style bombs off at the Food Network headquarters. Your use of the abbreviation EVOO makes me want to tear out my eyes and put them in my fist as I beat your face with it, just so I can get a closer look at your face being beaten. The next time you say "Yummers!" I'm going to find you and fishhook that clown smile off your perky face with a rusty spatula, then I'm going to broil you in the oven at 500 degrees for 1 hour and 45 minutes, or until charred and flaky.
Your posts suck too.

Osh Gosh.... i totally respect you AND your comments to me
oooh so you saw my show??!!! NOT!
actually i DO have a job, im an personal trainer---im not going to lie, i dont have anything but an AA from college. eh, my posts only suck because you guys have better shit to say than i do.

And yet you continue to talk. Fuck you, Rachel Ray.

arent ppl modelling fragrences ment to be pretty? i dont see why ppl say keira is beautiful, she has a funny face shape

No! its her eyes.. i worked it out. Hoo-ra for me. Yes her eyes look depressing.

Was about time... Kate Moss should stay in heroine... not a good model to me... Keira Looks good but she needs an enhancement... Peace Out...