April 6, 2006
Jessica Alba makes good with Playboy
Jessica Alba has dropped her suit against Playboy to pull its March issue after Hugh Hefner personally sent her a letter of apology and had Playboy make donations to two charities Alba supports. In a statement on Tuesday, Jessica said:
"I appreciate Mr. Hefner's acknowledgment of the distress caused by Playboy's actions, and I'm happy to put this unfortunate event behind me. This was never about money, it was about setting the record straight about something that was done without my knowledge or consent."
I think the lesson here is that Playboy should never ever put a clothed woman in their magazine ever again. And also take my advice and remove all text and articles, replacing them with pictures of me doing it with all the models. It'd be a bold step for the magazine, but one I think the public would appreciate.
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Comments
1. Posted by jennifer11 on April 6, 2006 9:48 AM
oooh poor jessica...
she was so distressed to be on the cover of playboy.
i really feel for her.
jesus!
2. Posted by DonLes91 on April 6, 2006 9:49 AM
First!
Ahhhh, Jessica Alba! What a way to start the day!
3. Posted by DonLes91 on April 6, 2006 9:49 AM
Dammit!
4. Posted by CheekyChops on April 6, 2006 9:50 AM
That sounds reasonable...Time to up my medication.
5. Posted by SuperSpence on April 6, 2006 9:54 AM
Appearing semi-clothed on the cover of Playboy is the best exposure Jennifer Alba will get until she appears naked on the cover of Playboy.
6. Posted by brewerpatriot on April 6, 2006 9:55 AM
I just came in her mouth a little bit...no wait, a lot, yeah, a lot.
7. Posted by sweetcheeks on April 6, 2006 9:56 AM
I don't understand why Alba got so huffy over this.
We all know that we watch her movies because she's so genetically gifted, not because she conveys emotion with such amazing subtlety. And MAN, what a bottom.
8. Posted by Michael1 on April 6, 2006 9:57 AM
I have absolutely nothing catty to say about Ms. Alba, except maybe that the tan colored bikini bottom looks kind of stupid with a blue top.
She's a smart, gorgeous woman who's gonna be fine without a Pissboy "spread" in her portfolio.
9. Posted by sweetcheeks on April 6, 2006 9:58 AM
I wonder if Hugh Hefner's stationary smells of silicone and peroxide.
10. Posted by sweetcheeks on April 6, 2006 9:59 AM
Perhaps it just smells of "old man."
11. Posted by hendero on April 6, 2006 9:59 AM
the irony of this is that in five years, when her movie career's over, she'll be begging Hef to put her on the cover, in the magazine, on its website, even in the grotto at the Playboy Mansion.
12. Posted by ESQ on April 6, 2006 10:03 AM
Oh I am so glad this story is behind us...
13. Posted by LickyLicky on April 6, 2006 10:25 AM
Thanks, Michael1. I thought I was the only one who thought that top and bottom didn't go together.
I wonder if, whey guys jerk off to her, her name becomes a several-syllable, one minute moniker versus the small and tiny Alba. As in AHHHHHHHHHLBAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ohhh, ohhhhhhhhhhh, urghhhhhhhhhh.
Damn. Ruined another tubesock.
14. Posted by jennifer11 on April 6, 2006 10:34 AM
sweetcheeks...
they smell you are thinking of is called geezer stench.
15. Posted by PocketRocket on April 6, 2006 10:40 AM
"Unfortunate Event" is the nickname for my penis. I, too, would love to put that unfortunate event behind her.
Yummy!!!
16. Posted by PapaHotNuts on April 6, 2006 10:44 AM
Sorry, I would have posted earlier but I was too busy dry-humping my moniter. Don't worry, I consulted my Dell handbook and I didn't see anything stating that man-juice could ruin a monitor. But I'm fairly certain it ruined my secretary's entire day.
17. Posted by honeycomb's_big_yeahyeahyeah on April 6, 2006 10:51 AM
First!
18. Posted by Italian Stallion on April 6, 2006 10:59 AM
Papa, you need a Toshiba, mine gives me a happy ending everyday before I leave the office. Get the one with nut repelent. It repels it pretty good, just try not to get any in your eye. I couldn't see for a whole day once......
19. Posted by Nimuë LaMer on April 6, 2006 11:17 AM
I'll bet Hef's apology was written on the back of a nice, fat check...
20. Posted by Cheekymunkeh on April 6, 2006 11:18 AM
IT'S ALL A BUNNY CONSPIRACY !! Ya know, the ones with the ears and the tails, working together with the charities and the this and the that... *glitch glitch, twinge*
21. Posted by EvilFiend on April 6, 2006 11:32 AM
I can't wait to see her in ten years... Begging Hef to airbrush her on the cover again...
22. Posted by Binky on April 6, 2006 11:40 AM
Glad to see Alba and her lawyers are following solid legal advice. (#87 comment last Alba link)
Well that and common sense I suppose...
23. Posted by Lala on April 6, 2006 11:51 AM
One small step back for Playboy, ten leaps forward for Jessica's bimbo image.
24. Posted by krisdylee on April 6, 2006 12:30 PM
when your secretary quits, i'll fill in for her Papa.. and i wouldn't mind if you called me jessica while clicking on my mouse... hee hee
25. Posted by gogoboots on April 6, 2006 12:51 PM
I'm not even sure why she's so angry about it. Unless they didn't pay her, then if I were her I was go on with the lawsuit. If it's about her posing in a bikini on the cover, then she's done a lot worse, what's Sin City and Blue Crush then?
26. Posted by PapaHotNuts on April 6, 2006 12:56 PM
#24 krisdylee- YOU'RE HIRED. Let the sexual harrassment begin
27. Posted by The Lazy Asian on April 6, 2006 1:14 PM
i can still jerk off to that cover
28. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on April 6, 2006 1:42 PM
I can jerk off to lotsa stuff but there should at least be a nipple showing or something drawing my attention to the vagina, like a big flashing arrow, or a big flashing dildo. Anyway, thanks for being hot Jessica Alba. We could do with less talking, but thanks all the same.
29. Posted by Nikk The Templar on April 6, 2006 2:20 PM
Jessica Alba is a crybaby.
30. Posted by kpatton on April 6, 2006 3:02 PM
They should have just republished the red carpet pics of her in the see through top she...."accidentally" wore. These hollywood ho's have and will peddle their ass for a part if they thought it would advance their careers. A little controversy keeps them in the spotlight.
What did Jessica give Mr. Titanic for putting her in Dark Angel?
31. Posted by cibby on April 6, 2006 6:37 PM
It was a little spoiled-child-like to launch a suit, but Playboy shouldn't have used a picture that they didn't take. They're Playboy, they've got cash!
32. Posted by Ms Crackalackin on April 6, 2006 10:47 PM
Jessica Alba is sooo boring. The miniscule number of posts here prove that. No one cares about her and her fish lips. I would be happy if SF never posted another thing about her unless it involves lesbian sex, kicking Paris Hilton's ass, marrying Hugh Hefner or something like that.
33. Posted by Sheva on April 7, 2006 12:54 AM
Always dug her. Have no clue if she has any personality.
It'll never matter.
34. Posted by WTF on April 7, 2006 3:01 PM
*Cough* Overrated! *Cough*
35. Posted by Ivehearditallnow on April 8, 2006 4:40 AM
She wouldnt wanna ruin her chances to star in the movie version of "The flying nun" now, would she?
36. Posted by SweeterSweeterBoyfriendStealer! on April 8, 2006 2:27 PM
#11-- im with you on that one!!! #21, agree with you also, and #23, NICE one!!! oh, and #30--- you KNOW what she gave him, she was his personal mattress, she gave him her fat chubby arse. #32-- THANK YOU!!! no more albatross!!!!! and #34-- DEF overrated. awww, jessie? is it lonely up there on your psudo-priss whore dressed in a nuns outfit pedistil? sorry, but as for the cover of playboy, PLEASE, what a greedy bitch!!! plus, no "hatin" or "jealousy" but look at her stomach-- shes soooo sucking it in!!!
oh, yeah, and #34-- check this site youll love it
http://www.themovieblog.com/archives/2005/10/is_jessica_alba_overrated.html
just cut check it out-- ALL OF YOU!!!
PS, no jealousy here, i know im sexy ;)
37. Posted by SweeterSweeterBoyfriendStealer! on April 8, 2006 2:29 PM
PS wheres my girls, XD and PostAcidYouth?????
38. Posted by Phred on May 17, 2006 9:00 AM
She's so fugly and such a paris hilton wannabe