Apr 28 2006Jessica Alba is a tease

nooooo.... this could have been the best day of my life

I'd go lesbian for her if I had the chance.

They should make nipple-slipping an olympic event in Hollywood.

Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn

Atleast the gods are trying she just to quick for them.

now i'll just have to fantasise about what could have been.....mmmmmmmm hot...i think i need a minute alone

At least she's classy enough to wear a bra!!

You know, is like there's days when you say to yourself that you're not gonna jack-off and then this happens...

Shy Girls turn me on! Unlike that Parisian Whore...

Yesterday I said I wanted a bionic lesbionic threesome with her and Angelina....

But today...I think I just want to MAKE HER MINE...I'm so confused and conflicted. I don't even know if I love the cock as much as I did yesterday now.

Someone comfort me!

Sweet Jeebus, her skin... man what I wouldn't do to lick her all over...

The last time I won the US Weekly Hot Hollywood Award - the same thing happened to me. But it was more of a 'jock-strap' sort of problem. Call it Karma.

Damn her and her reflexes. Normally, I go for bigger women, i.e., Britney NOW, but Jessica Alba is the only waif I'd even consider banging until the roosters crow. Those. Eyes. That. Smile. That. Ass. Those. Boobs. I need to be alone for a minute. Or fifty.

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/754/2641/400/christina-aguilera-surprised.jpg

Is that Angelina in the background?

It's so hard to hate her when she's as sweet looking as she is... and yet so easy to hate her out of blind jealousy for being so utterly wanted.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

she's starting to look like Snatcher.

She looks like Angela Bassett in the fist picture.

I'll throw this out for penises everywhere - she can't accidentally tuck her dress into her panties because she isn't wearing any.

When it's Lohan we see everything and don't give a fuck cause it's nasty. When it's Alba we don't even get a fucking nipple!!!

Edna Bambrick this is why your an idiot for trying to make us believers, If there was a God we would have at least got a nipple.........

She makes me want to grow a VAGINA so I could have LESBIAN sex with her because LESBIAN sex is so hot, and I'm wondering if I can use my DREMMEL tool to cut off my COCK and fashion a REPLACEMENT VAGINA so I can have LESBIAN sex with her.

Seriously, I'd do freaky shit to her.

I would never hit that.

Damn her and her ultra quick young girl reflexes.

I think her naked boob might have the same effect as that thing they used in "Ocean's 11" to turn all the power out in Vegas. Sorry for not knowing the technical name, GEEKS.

The only thing I want to see more naked that JA is Leo's new little piece of pecker checker, Bar Refaeli. I want to be the bologna (why is it spelled like that but pronounced boloney) in the BR/JA sandwich. But I digress.

JA is hot, hot, hot, unfortunately she has great reflexes.

Can't say anything, just laughing at the captions

She may be a tease, but I'm a whore

I'm with Krisdylee on this one...

That's...just...so...wrong. I'm going to go cry. All my life, I have suspected God hated me. This is proof. That cock licking, dick sucking, cum guzzling, pigfucking, shit eating whoreson bastard has no right to tease my junk like that. Fucking cock knocker!
I really want to see her boobs. That's why I have an internet connection. I mean, why else is there?

ok, she's wearing a bra
if her nipple were to slip then her bra would have to come off, but that was her dress strap that came off... so no almost nipple slip

But you can see her nipple, under her bra!

all of you fake lesbians on this site are full of shit...you don't wanna fuck JA, you wanna *be* her

Wow, lay off the tan spray.
She's super hot, but super orange....

Fisher55 that's the first thing you've ever said that I agree with. High five - Down low - ha! Too slow.
I'm tired of Jessica Alba. Everytime I look at her all I can see is millions of spunk rags and dirty kleenex. Next! Chop chop, bring me a fresh one...

She's just looking like her good ole self. What a ride she's on. Wish it was me.

@ 29
It's all pink on the inside.

And in this case, that wouldn't even matter. I would fuck Jessica Alba if her pussy had venomous fangs in the front and a bear trap in the back.

I would bang Alba even if she had Paris Simplex #1.

Wait, I think I see a flaw. Nope, that was just over spray on my monitor.

yeah, she does have some prime genes...bet her dad's hot

I wish I were JA's hand in that first pic. I want to scissor her all afternoon.

Gerald, I'll be right there. I'll bring the windex, just in case.

Promises, promises.

You aren't bringing windex.

suzy do you have to just ruin it for everyone by mentioning all those minor details? Are you like the only child or something?

I'll bet Kate Beckinsale looks at these pics and only sees the shrubbery behind Alba. Man, what a sweet place to exercise.

I was watching "That 70's Show" the other night and Hyde was talking about all the places he had sex in the house, and he said to the mom, by the way the kitchen table is really sturdy. She went and grabbed a bottle of Windex and started spraying the table. I never laughed so hard at someone spraying Windex on something...........

32 - Pink on the Inside is going to be the name of the adult video and novelty store I'm opening. Thusly, everything on the inside will be pink. Like a vagina. On the inside. Or at least how the inside of a vagina should be. Pink, that is.

I need to be held.
http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/

#2

Becca, I'd go lesbian for Jessica if I had the chance too... and I'm a dude !!!

Ugh. Her shoes are too small. Her toes hang over the edge like a bunch of little suicidal cliff-jumping piggies. I hhhhaaate that. I would suck them, though.

Shit yeah, I would suck the corns off her feet. Normally I would think that was gross, but only for Alba, and St.Minutia (you could catalog me any time).

Yay! I'll classify you under stud-muffin.

Does every guy on this thread want to be a lesbian or what?

47. I think it has something to do with all the breasts. Lesbians get guest breasts, and then there are the ones we get to keep and take home with us. And shower with. Every day.

Damn, that came out like I'm a lesbian. Not that there's anything wrong with that. ;)

I have no interest in being a lesbian because I wouldn't be able to pee standing up anymore. Well, I guess I could, but it would make a helluva mess.

I've always been jealous of men for being able to stand and pee...

Be honest Jim, you make a hell of a mess as it is. Women just don't understand that they shoot from point blank, we have to aim a bit and adjust for Kentucky windage.

#47

I refer you to my earlier post (#19). Which was totally serious. I really do want to cut my dick off with a Dremmel.

@52
I put cheerios in the toilet for my 3 yr old to aim for.... give that a try

#9, I know what you mean. I haven't loved the penis as much ever since I saw that picture of Jude Law naked.

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2005/08/17/jude_law_has_a.html

Tom Cruise would hit that.

Cock or no cock.

Zanna you will always be comforted by everyone on the InTeRwEb who thinks you are so hawt for saying you want threesomes!! Just think, you will always have a source of attention from strangers on the message boards to make you feel important and so hawwt and say they want to see pictures of you! Oh joy, what a rewarding existence!!

#56 ha, ha... maybe he has?

One day people will look back on these years and laugh and say "Remember when it used to be cool to say 'I'd go lesbo for so-and-so'? Omigoid that is soooooooooo 2000's!!"

i would go lesbo for david beckham

#39, hahahaha... best laugh I've had in days. :D:D:D

Yeah, I ditto that, "Fawlty"--that was a good one, #39.

Jessica seems like a sweet gal. I hope she makes a good movie one day!

Sin City doesn't count--that was an ensemble cast and she danced most of the time. She was really hot, though!

Posted by hugh_g_rection on April 28, 2006 09:49 AM

"I would never hit that."

the only way / would hit albatross is with a 2 by 4...in her pie face. heehee!!
no hatin, here, i KNOW im sexy!!!
sorry, her dance in sin city could have been done better by tickle me elmo.
i call it an utter "idiot parade"
and her face? sorry, she looks like shes 3!!! hey....micheal jackson called, he wants his pedophilia back!!!! lol!!!!
BTW, im 23, and sorry, if she actually had TALENT, i might have something better to say about her.
right now? shes lucky shes even IN hollywood!!! she dropped out of school at like 10 because "i knew i was different from everyone else" she said on E! once--E! is my guilty pleaure!!--- and im like, sure you were....now if youd only SHUT UP!
heehee, sorry about my rant but my dad lives in la, in the colony, and sorry, ive seen her walking around beverlly hills and hey, guess what??? below average looks are not BAD, per say.....but please, ive seen better!
and no, im not talking about ME, im talking about amy smart, heidi klum, carmen electra, jolie......the list goes on :)

I'm going to pretend this pic doesnt exsist, because she looks disgusting, and I dont want to think of Jessica that way.

This isnt jessica alba, it's a ditchpig.

Who cares? She looks like crap. Alba used to have breasts and an ass that didn't quit....but it did quit and now she is flat and has no curves.....also she looks like a drag queen in the first pic

# 64--Sweetums, I bet every guy in the theater was sporting wood when she was grinding her pelvis in those sexy fringed hipsters! Sure she wasn't the best dancer... but who the fuck cares?

Where's the "colony" in LA?

in malibu--- but i agree, who does care? everyone has the right to their own opinions :)you think shes hot, and i definatly respect yours :)

oh shake dem thingz dem thingz

first!

Jessica Alba, will you go out with me? Circle yes or no.

(This message isn't supposed to be funny, I'm serious.)

My God.
Who could not want to hit that?
It's not a question of gender preference. It's not!
Just look at her!
Jesus, she is how I found this site, after her MTV see through thing...
ALBA= All Love the Breasts and Ass
(even TC)

The look on her face is priceless.

# 32 = hilarious!

I couldn't have sex with her. I would not be able to pry my face off her pussy long enough to do the deed. I bet it smells like cotton candy. Shit, can't type with one hand. Out.

oh real quick for I get back to spanking it.

Dr. Roktor.
I have a dremmel, and I would be honored to help you drill away the ol' winky. Can I have it? Cause I wanna d.p. Alba, and I'm one penis short...or was that one short penis....anyway, offer stands.

I bet Tom Cruise would hit that....if Jessica had a cock, 'cause that's what he likes ...the cock.

I'm not impressed, she needs to wear even MORE revealing clothes then she does already so I can be convinced that she really is the slut she thinks she is...

@64 and 68

In the name of all that is holy, would you just SHUT!! THE FUCK!!!! UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#16 - Right on! Maybe Jessica is prepping for "How Stella Got Her Groove Back 2: The Reckoning"

78 Um, maybe you should be more direct? :)

oh, mamacita, you KNOW i love you

EIGHTIY-SECOND!!!!!

WOO-HOO!!!!!

What's love got to do with it?

She looks likes she's doing a Renee Zellweger impersonation.

Ok, Ok. You go guys with wanting to see her breast and all that. I JUST WANT TO add that she is ashamed of her race and she thinks she is the SHIT! ADmitting in an interview to sleeping around (Derek Jeter, Mark Wahlberg, Paul Walker) and saying she Doesn't want to be associated with Latinos? Shut up already. You can't act for shit and your movies suck! Bye, bye! And guess what hoe? That blond hair is not making you look white! It doesn't matter how much you want it to be so! You are not WHITE!

Girl, why you gotta do that to me? huh?

I bet you're wearing a thong made out of licorice.

Also, since when was not wanting to be associated with Latinos a bad thing?

Hey, pagebetty/#85?

What are your sources for saying that about her? Where did you read or hear that Alba--with her obviously Latino surname and generally Latina looks--is trying to distance herself from race and look white? Not provoking you, but genuinely wondering if calling this woman a race traitor has any truth to it. Just a couple of sources where she says she hates her race--that's all I need.

Also, dating Mark Wahlberg isn't enough for me to say she hates her race because when I dated him, I was showing total disrespect to my race and I'm Irish. The shame haunts me to this day.

I bet Jessica Alba's nipple's taste like tacos. Taco-flavored neeeples...

#87 im irish too :)

To #87. She's says it in Latina Magazine March 2006. It's under their "Words we never want to HeaR again" This is part of what she sAys. "as a third generation American, I feel as if I have finally cut loose" meaning from her Mexican roots. "BUT I DON'T even speak Spanish." She SAys. But your skin is brown! Dammit! THE PARt about her dating Mark Wahlberg and the others, meaning she tries to look all sweet and innocent, "I do nothing wrong" "I am not like Paris or these other hoes" (cause there is no videotape, I guess) type of attitude. But at the same time admitting In a COSMO interview that she has done her share of sleeping around. One can say "they lied and put that in there, but she could've spoken up about it like she did with Playboy. Yep, she is overrated.

I always thought latino was white...just tanned? Could be wrong...

Anyway, sick of Alba, nipples or not.

Why can't this happen with Scarlett Johanssen? I've just done the math, and with her rack, she's have to be the Flash in order to catch herself in time. It's all in the excess mass X the force of gravity X masturbatory needs of the American male.

So, mathematically speaking, we never stood a chance with Alba.

Re PageBetty: What mamacita said in #78 goes for you too.

Ok, Jess in a thong of licorice, with a hoo-hoo smellin' like cotton candy, taco flavored nipples! I think we have the new breakfast of champions. (Kurt, if you are reading this, great book) That is the only way I will EVER get fat!
PostAcid; No, latinos are the little brown people doing things that whites don't want to do anymore. Which reminds me, gotta get back down home to AZ and get me some Filly-b's!!! Carne Asada! Carne Asada! Carne Asada! Carne Asada! Oh, to the Mex restaraunts in CO, GO BACK TO MEXICO! Your food sucks now that you are this far north! Did you forget?
sorry, personal rant, you wouldn't understand.

Hey, just tried to post again, something funny this time and I got this message:

Your comment submission failed because In an effort to curb malicious comment posting by abusive users, I've enabled a feature that requires a weblog commenter to wait a short amount of time before being able to post again. Please post your comment again in a short while. Thanks for your patience.

WTF? C'mon superfish, it's all fun and games! I don't think anyone really gets offended at one another? General comments guys, are you getting offended and your feelings hurt? What's going on, you can tell me! If this is in any way directed at me, BAN MY ASS!!! I know I've said a few rotten things, but I thought it was all in fun. You shithead.

#94, we are all the Lord's children and you should be ashamed of yourself. Your eternity will teach you to curse the Lord's children. Cleaning up the Internet is an important job for me but you should clean your soul, sinner!

What the fuck are you talking about, Edna? That post was just about Mexicans not cooking well once they get a certain amount of space away from the border. After all the horrible crap I've spouted on here, THIS is what gets you riled? Is it because you are fat, and never met a taco you didn't like? Well, my palet is a bit more discrimminating, I don't like my various ethnic foods White-a-sized. If it is of any use to you, I am only half white myself, and the child of immagrants, and it IS true that immagrants do the work that most native born Americans of any color won't do any more. Precisely who the fuck do you think you are? I don't think your god gave you a fiery sword to smite the sinner, I think you are a delusional nut-job who gives Christians (not my religon by the way) and America a bad name. Now why don't you go do something Christ-like and feed some homeless, donate time to a orphanage or shelter, and stop bothering people who are merely trying to amuse themselves while it rains outside. Did your god, or Christ EVER go around be-littling people, and trying to scare them into doing as he did? No, he attempted to lead by example and wisdom. To paraphrase a wise man, "your religion is yelling something into a persons ear, until it comes out his mouth" Please get help.

Hey everyone;

Edna just sent me an email, she sees my point and apologized. She even sent me a video of her family having good, godly fun together.

http://www.sikvid.com/index.php?vid=800

Oh, you know you gotta open it! You know!

Edna, take the Lord and all that you believe in and put it to better use somewhere else... Like TrannyGranny suggestes. I avoid the church like the plague, because of people like yourself.

I want to bang SweeterSweeter so hard that she straightens up and starts thinking right. Assuming she is over 20.

J. Alba is a cunt....until she shows her bare ass she is a cunt.

Why is this such a big deal? A nipple folks, get over it. Alba or not.

Yep #102... Dudes Get A Nice Lookin Lady And Have Sex... Then U Should Stop Lookin For Some Stupid Nippple Slip... Peace Out...
BTW Jessica Alba Is pretty, but 2 me shes like all latinas girl i saw everyday on my hood...

#103 - I agree; I grew up in the ghetto in L.A., and she looks just like any other chick there. IMHO, don't see any difference, except that she took a curling iron and some Silk Therapy to her bleached blonde hair. I think that deep down, she secretly yearns to be white (as in not of hispanic or latino heritage). BTW, she does look like a total tranny in that first pic.

#104 - They should have that in the fucking tourist brochures.

I was in L.A. a couple of months ago, splitting my time between Disneyland and my hotel room. I'm a real culture whore, so had I known there were Alba look-a-likes walking around in the ghetto's, I would of spent my time trying to get my end away (Instead of queing up for Indiana Jones and staring at the teenage ass.) So I don't make the same mistake twice - where the fuck is this ghetto and will I get shot?

Horny-for-Alba-look-a-likes.

1) I also grew up in some of the shittiest barrios in Los Angeles.

2) I saw some fine latina chicks, but never as fine as Alba. The majority of what was around were cholitas with too much eye make-up and too many babies.

Don't make fun of poor Jessica until you've experienced the horror of her situation. A few weeks ago when I went to receive communion the same thing happened to me.

What's the deal with latinas shaving off their eyebrows and then drawing them on in a look of permanent surprise? Black lipliner is also a big question of mine... or is it brown and just so dark that it looks black? And those two little pieces of hair, pseudo-bangs, that get left out of the ponytail? I saw a girl once who had those and she was doing a repetetive task so they looked like windshield wipers. All I wanted to do was give her a hairclip to pull them back.

Is it just me?

Does my whiteness make me not able to understand it?

JESSICA ALBA IS HHHOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
and i want to give it to herrrrrrrrrr

and thank god himself she doesnt wanna be associated with latinos. who would? honestly if she did, and she would say it every damn time she opened her mouth i wouldnt wanna do her anymore. because then she would sound like that IDIOT JLO.. or jennifer lopez as she would presently like to be called. because im guessing she realize that it made her look unclassy, as well as going out with puff daddy, who is black, and dressing like a ghetto whore bag, even thought shes obviously a fkn billionaire... dumb conceited bitch

oh and lickylicky, thank you. thank you for saying what ive always wanted to say, but never found the time or place to say it. thank you and god bless you your smart....

:):D

oh and if anyone really gets offended on this site, they should run into their room and smash their face as hard as they can into their mirror over and over again until they drop down, unconscious. because offending people is what this site is all about. havent you ever watched family guy?? its a JOKEEEEE. god get a grip bitches...