He must be thinking, "Hey, since I'm a limp-dick stuck in a perpetually adolescent body, I should get some real throbbing machine under me." Of course, he should have called up Tom Cruise who would have suggested he get an ass-blaster-2000 diesel powered dildo...

I hope Dewey stabs him in the fucking face.

Yeah, seriously? Whatever. Maybe he'll pull a Dale Earnhardt and we really won't have to wonder whether he'll make it back to acting.

What is wrong with these Hollywood clowns? Their weirdness continues and is supported by us.

yay?!

Didn't he get like, engaged or something when he was 18?

He's a retard.

Aww. Our little Malcolm has grown up and decided it'd be good for his career to drive face-first into a concrete barrier at 200mph. How cute.

As long as ESPNews catches it on tape, I'm all for it. Especially if it precludes another Cody Banks sequel.

#3: You really think we'll be wondering if he made it back to acting? If, by some sort of demonstration of power from Satan, he gets any sort of media attention ever again, he'll start directing Disney channel original movies and sleeping with precocious twelve year old girls with camel toes and a gift from God.

At least no one but rednecks will have to hear his name for ... until he comes back to acting, which seems to be never.

Man, this is a first. Every story that's been posted today is firmly entrenched in the "who gives a shit" category. I'm so sad. I keep checking back, hoping something interesting will be up, but alas, no. Bounce back Superficial!!! I have faith in your abilities!

I think we're all a bit jealous...I admit, I wish I had his money, along with my natural good looks

#6 Yes, he is currently still engaged.

I thought this kid was like 10 years old.

His car sponsers will be Legos, Clearasil, a random collection of stuffed animals, Kool-Aid Fruit Juicers, and Garanimals.

He looks like that kid from Malcom in the Middle, just a little older. Weird.

hey wait -- it's not superfish's fault that our celebrities are unimaginative dorks who fail to amuse -- they're just being themselves!

Ho-hum. I'm tired of being a famous actor. I think I'll be a race car driver. Or maybe a mad scientist. Or a pirate. Or maybe I'll fly an F-15. Or be a pulitzer prize winning novelist. Or live in a castle guarded by glow-in-the-dark dragons.
I hate rich people.

He's an odd kid, maybe he just didn't want to go through that whole point in his film career where he's done a slew of movies that REALLY suck like Lindsay Lohan. It's a delicate age, you make wrong moves all the time unless you have real talent as an actor.

This reminds me of when I turned 18 and I had to make a similar life-changing decision - was I going to continue being a teen swimsuit model, just for the billions of dollars and the admiration of millions - or was it time for me to grow up and be a young adult swimsuit model, with even more money and a hotter body? But then, my breasts got really, really huge, and I was like "You know, I think I'm just going to lay around the pool all day for the next five or six years, rubbing myself with oil, and having male strippers from Sweden shipped to my house to make me daiquiris. And maybe one day I'll be an astronaut."

Thing is, he still looks 12, and to us Moms, we'll always see him that way. What a cutie-pie though.

Wasn't he Cher's little bed buddy in the movie Stuck on You?

Know what Tom Cruise loves? The cock!

Real Version:
When I turned 18, my parents told me I had to move out, and I had to face the ultimate question: "paper or plastic?" Then I decided to drop out of college and do a lot of drugs. I don't really remember much, but I ended up in Monroe, LA, doing data entry in an office with no windows for 10 hours a day. I said to myself, "I can't believe its only fucking Tuesday. I hope nobody sees me crying again... maybe one day I'll be an astronaut, or maybe I'll just beat myself in the head with my stapler until I pass out."

@20

Just make sure it's a red Swingline. Otherwise, it'd be highly inappropriate.

I prefer the classic Swingline 747 Stapler, Standard Full Strip, in Burgundy
This workhorse stapler brings you a solid and consistent performance that makes it an industry standard. Plus,it takes only 2-3 wacks on to the skull on average, to achieve the sweet bliss of unconsciousness.

Future Headline: Malcolm in the Middle... of a 10 car pile-up.

Why does everyone think this is bad, the kid likes racing cars and he probably has enough money to do whatever he wants. Is there anyone here who would work if they were rich enough not to? I know I would invest my money and screw around doing whatever I wanted for the rest of my life if I had millions in the bank.

@24

I'm taking the liberty of speaking for everyone, so if I'm wrong, anyone is welcome to correct me. We're not saying it's bad. We're saying we don't care.

I knew he didn't have the balls to go for the career he rrrreeeeaaalllly wanted: LIBRARIAN!

He'll have to stop wearing man-makeup. They don't go for that sissy stuff in auto racing. If you want to jam your crank into a hot exhaust pipe, that's okay -- just so long as you're not wearing eye shadow at the time.

I heard that Frankie Muniz, Tom Cruise and John Travolta all got together and did a porno......

"Malcom in the Middle, scientology style"

Michael Jackson filmed it at the ranch.......

Yeah...it's true! If I had enough money in the bank, I'd be doing what I really wanted to do. I'd sit around on superficial websites all day simultaneously watching internet porn.

Excuse me a sec...I'll be right back!

#28, you haven't lived until you've seen MITMSS 6. It's so hot it melted my DVD player.

Frankie's just trying to follow his idol Tom Cruise's tire tracks. Next he'll have some chick taller than him fake a pregnancy to hide his raging homosexuality and convert to a religion so absurd that it makes George Lucas look like the prophet Elijah.

Be careful out there, Frankie. And remember, having a plastic surgeon re-construct your accident-smashed face is only a hundred times more painful than it sounds. Just ask Jason Priestley.

I want to RACE!!!

i.e. I don't have leading man looks and therefore will have to go from being the star of a series to competing for character rolls against Tom Arnold and the guy who played Screech in "SAved by the Bell"

If I was independently wealthy, and didn't need to work anymore, hell I'd take up racing too.

However, I hope there isn't a sponsor out there stupid enough to stick a newbie racer in a competitive machine - make the kid earn his stripes like everyone else. If he jumps through the hoops at the normal paces - learns what to do, learns what not to do, over and over until it's literally second nature - he may turn out to be the next Paul Newman.

But if he gets plopped into a machine that's way too much for him to handle, he's going to get creamed.

Spindoc, I love you, I really do, but I gotta do it.........I think you mean character "roles", not "rolls". OK, I'm done. I'm sorry, it's a compulsion.

The only thing he's driving is me - fuckin' crazy. I can't stand him - ugly kid ugly adult. Haley Joel Osment (sp?) the sequel.

Maybe someone will drop him onto the track without a car or a helmet.

Hey #30 osh, I only thought they made 5, thank you. Now I have a reason to leave the office early, I hope I don't go Blind.......

Mmmmm..... character rolls....

Wow these are faaantastic news!!!

His gonna set the racing world on FIRE!! just like Mark Paul Gosselar and Alfonso Ribeiro and we ALL know how well they did!!!

Is he 20! That's news... I suppose I will never see him as an adult: I just I can't

he visited a kids hospital the other day. the photo was touching. Even I cant make fun of him now.

Does anyone know where I can score some Character Rolls, I haven't had those yet, If they are to Dopey nevermind. When I do those I like to dance like Vito on the Soprano's does......

#35 Mamacita, Damn! Spelling Police Caught me. ;)

Well actually Character Rolls are a traditional Slovenian pastry made out of discarded Hair Weaves from Whitney Houstons Wig Box, Flour, Egg, and Extra Lohan Scrapings sprinkled on top. -Grin-

@43

MMmmmm! Sounds almost as tasty as "I Love K-Fed's Corn Rolls", but I assume yours are better because of the crack that's been absorbed into the Whitney weave. :)

Malcolm in the middle is still on? I thought that show ended years ago.

Matt Leblanc called; he wants his latent homosexuality back.

#46 - does that come in an oil can or a grease gun?

So I guess Malcolm is going to set up blocks for the accelerator and the brake, kinda like midgets do for their minivans?

I wonder if he's a one or two phonebook guy for the seat.

Sounds like Little Dick Syndrome to me...

Hey now, everyone should stop making gay innuendo about "Mantrain" Muniz. Or is that "Lucky Pierre" Muniz? He's hard to understand with the ball gag in.

Ok, this is my tryout for thesuperficial. Ready, here we go:

Yeah, maybe he figured that since he looks like he is 10,and always will, that he should kill a hobo, hang out with more midgets and dildo, Paris Hilton, potato gun.

Did I get the job?

When asked which car he will be driving, Muniz replied, "the Matchbox car".

#48 gets my vote for best small-child-as-race-car-driver allusion.

And #8, no I didn't think anyone really cared about his future career as an actor. Except for me, maybe, but that's because I have thing for young boys.

#51 - You're Hired!
Now tell me where we can mail your check for 42 cents.
- the management

Hey, deciding to become a racecar driver is a hell of a lot better than joining some psycho cult/con game!

Anyway, Screech and Tom Arnold would be too much competition for him...

Oh good! I hope he crashes and dies. God I hate him and his dracula teeth...

Paul Newman did it....but I guess Frankie Munez is no Paul Newman...long live the salad dressing baron!!!

Holy crap. This is cracking me up since this is the career choice that Bobby Brady also made.