i'm first. haha.

perfect that it's in the desert, which is totally flat.

Just like Eva

Wow... I can walk all over Eva Longoria now :D

hendero , crackhead! she's "flat"... right...that is about as true as Paris Hilton being a virgin is...

bull shit.

uh huhhh. imagine if all that time and effort and money went towards something interesting? meh.

I didn't think there was anything else that could make Eva's head bigger.

if I could be airbrushed too I'd be on the cover.

these people are not beautiful!

Monumentally overrated.

Come on! This is great! How many superhot bisexual Latin women can you see from a 747 airplane, huh!

ONE, baby, and I hope more to come...

flat or not, momentarily overrated or not, i would knock that down so fast...

She looks very uncomfortable in that pose...I even know from watching Next TopModel and Janice you're supposed to look natural.

That's the biggest waste of space I've ever seen. And I've seen Paris Hilton spread eagle in a crowded room.

"Yeah! Those are the biggest hoo-hoos I've ever seen"

"I want to go on that ride, Daddy."
"Me, too, Son. Me, too."

"Shibby"

*Yawn!*

It weird - I had a lot of trouble turning the pages.
Never had a problem with Google Earth before though. And it's at a price I can afford.

my whole body is now the size of a fragment of her fingernail. yipeee!

I mastered that "stomach-suck-in-pose" eons ago. For those of you who haven't, it involves clenching your butt cheeks and trying to make your belly button touch your spine. And also, holding your breath as long as physically possible.

For those with REAL willpower, laxatives and water pills do the trick. Just ask Paula Abdul.

Flat really? I don't think she's flat at all - I mean she's not huge or anything... but if people want to see bigger titties - it wouldn't be too hard to do - she IS plastered on the desert floor - heck get me some paint and some rollers....

I heard when Tom Cruise saw that he was crying.

"The God's favor Eva more then me, they even put a portrait of her in the sand when I was sleeping". "Did I upset you Xenu". "How much Cock do I have to suck to get to this status". "I won't my picture in the sand too". "Wahhhhhh".

It may take a large Longoria to accomodate my immensity.

Maybe it's just the angle but... MAN HANDS!!!

Seriously it's tripping me out.

She's gorgeous.

Why do men make boobs such a redeeming quality? A woman could be 500 pounds with boils on her face and hair on her chin but would still be considered hot if she had big boobs. Eva Longoria is absolutely beautiful but for some reason some guys aren't impressed just because her boobs aren't big. It's time to grow up.

They had to put a picture of Eva Longoria big enough to see from a satellite just so Paris Hilton would not have the biggest vagina on earth.

umm 24? She's gorgeous? I think not. There is gum stuck on the bottom of my shoe that looks better than Eva Longoria.

#24 - that sounds like something I would've said when I was 14 because I didn't understand men at all. Now that I'm a whore I feel I should explain something to you: If you waste all your time worrying about what men want you will find yourself in a tailspin of circular logic that will make you an angry lesbian. Lets think about it: Star Jones has big tits, Oprah has big tits, Ellen Degeneres (although you may not see them much) has good-sized tits, That fat guy on Lost has big tits. So as long as you're not a fat, lesbian, obnoxious black woman, or a man, big tits are cool. But so are small tits. And tits in general are amusing. And if you ever ask a guy if you should get implants he will say "I think you're fine the way you are, hell no... why would you do that" because he thinks your tits are great. Because they're tits. Then his brain will cough and sputter and get a little creative (like when he thinks about fucking two girls instead of one), and he'll say "if it makes you happy, then do it", because tits are cool and big tits are cooler because there is more of them. Simple as that. Now go read a book.

This is why people from other countries hate us. And then watch our TV shows. Now they just need to put the birthing Britney Spears statue out there, and to the left.

#28

No, if all you did was putting giant size photos of women on the desert i'm sure everyone would love you! Oh well... I would!

Now she's big enough to handle Wilmer's massive cock.

I find it ironic the smallest woman on television is now the largest woman in the desert!

Fun publicity stunt!

Finally, the astronauts have some decent spank material. Now I wonder if NASA would mind if they jerked it in zero g's? That would make for some interesting live feed on NASA TV.

Which reminds me... we need porn. In space. With symphony music. Like now.

Her hands look very strange...

Finally, a photo as big as her ego.

Nice job OshKosh.

Hey Lebowski, this isn't why other countries hate us. Other countries hate us because they hate us. Having been to over 30 "other countries" I can say that although most were nice places to visit, compared to the US, they suck. We got our own problems to be sure.

Ooops, went all nationalistic which I'm sure is verboten here. BTW, the Longoria piece is distraction from the massive nuke testing on hardened underground facilties to be done well north of there later this year. USG (Bush) got Maxim to do the Longoria work in order to distract "other countries" satellite image reviewers.

#27, good points.

I am fully aware that not all men solely focus on big boobs as what constitutes as sexy. I was directing my comment towards the people who do so. And I realize that is not everyone. I think you're right, but I don't think you understood fully what I meant or maybe I wasn't clear.

"Read a book"? Nice one. It's good to know you judge people's intelligence based on their knowledge of the male psyche.

Hmm, it's near Lovell Canyon and Highway 160, right?

#36 - I think everyone has sand in their vagina today, which makes me frown. I only threw in "read a book" because I thought that it would be nice to mention there are other things you can occupy your mind with as a female than what guys think about breast size. I also thought it closed the paragraph nicely. I'm into aesthetics like that.

Cool idea, but couldn't they find someone better for their cover?

This girl would attend the opening of an envelope if it guaranteed her publicity. Do we really need any more "exposure" of this over-rated dingbat?

#17 - Funny, I was going to say that about her entire brain.

I think the nose would be a better plan to tan then the bellybutton.

Eva Longoria....eehh. average, with HUGE hands.

Who is the chick under the "More Cowbell" girl? The Notorious Bettie Page...now she should be on the desert floor, or in my dungeon.

I think I see Bin Laden hiding in her cleavage.

#27 - probably the most concise, useful information any woman could ever read about men. Just because you don't like that we look at tits and want more tits and love tits and want to live between tits doesn't make it not true. Deny it all you want. And we'll move on to the realistic chicks.

Spurs guard Tony Parker who she is dating was seen trying to fold the whole thing up out there. He has the quickness and speed to do it to, like road runner, beep-beep. lol.

She Looks Like a Mexican Rat....oh wait....thats a Chihuahua!

Plus you dont need satelite to see those teeth.

Huh?

hey . my thoughts exacty. Wasted Huge Cover. Those Space Aliens should be freaking out.

She's just about right for my humongous Caribbean genitalia.

It's a good thing it wasn't a giant magazine cover with Tom Cruise as that is the secret signal to Xenu that it is time to attack and take over.

# 30 Fuckin hilarious!!!

Eva is HOT! Her body is amazing, and the fact that she is so annoying just makes me want to screw her speechless.

Why do y'all want to hate abd be jealous? Oh yeah, and this is not why the rest of the world hates us. No, no, no. They love our celebrities. They hate our foriegn policy. From what I can gather anyways.

#44 - I don't hate that men love tits. I love it. Because I have tits. And my tits help me get things from men, like money, which I love. Oh, and cock. That's also nice. Don't mistake me for some self-hating crybaby, I just wanted to save old girl some time.
P.S. Look at that Giant Picture of Eva Longoria. Wow.

I hate this bitch, shmush nose whore, overrated!!! I don't like this bai thchhhh!

#51: They don't love our celebrities. If anything they mock them. They just want the celebrities' money.

With the exception of David Hasselhof. Bringing down the Berlin Wall was a good publicity stunt for him.

#49 - I thought LaBarbara Conrad was keeping you busy....

Yawn! The End is near.

#11, i said "monumentally" not momentarily. however, both ring true. she's about as talented as you are bright.

i can think of 10,000 more fucktabulous latina women who deserve more hype.

#51 THANK YOU!!!!!! shes so sexy!!! and thank goodness its not alba thats the one.... oh im so sick of her

OH MY GOD, what are you all thinking? Is this REALLY nessecary? If it stays after the world ends, this is what the next civilization will think us mysterious ancestors. That was a LAME idea, Maxim. Next....

This cover is sweet! I saw it on starked.com too in case you wanted to look at it again.

#30 nice one! hahaha

It seems like they were trying to match the size of the cover in relation to the size of her ego. I swear that woman loves herself more than Michael Jackson loves children, and that my friends, is a scary thought...

Heh, Area 51 is just to the north west ;-)

Reading all the mean comments about Eva being flat irritate me. It's really not fair to make fun of her for something she can't control. Should all small-breasted girls be made to feel that they have a defect?

Reading all the mean comments about Eva being flat irritates me. It's really not nice to make fun of her for something she can't control. Is it fair to make small-breasted girls feel that they have a defect?

Reading all the mean comments about Eva being flat irritates me. It's really not nice to make fun of her for something she can't control. Is it fair to make small-breasted girls, who didn't choose to be this way, feel that they have a defect?

Reading all the mean comments about Eva being flat irritates me. It's really not nice to make fun of her for something she can't control. Is it fair to make small-breasted girls, who didn't choose to be this way, feel that they have a defect?

Reading all the mean comments about Eva being flat irritates me. It's really not nice to make fun of her for something she can't control. Is it fair to make small-breasted girls, who didn't choose to be this way, feel that they have a defect?

Reading all the mean comments about Eva being flat irritates me. It's really not nice to make fun of her for something she can't control. Is it fair to make small-breasted girls, who didn't choose to be this way, feel that they have a defect?

Reading all the mean comments about Eva being flat really irritate me. It's not nice to make fun of her for something she has no control over. Is is fair that all small-breasted girls are made to feel like they are somehow defective?

Reading all the mean comments about Eva being flat irritate me. It's really not nice to make fun of her for something she has no control over. Is it fair to make small-breasted girls feel inadequate?