Apr 21 2006Charlie Sheen wants to kill Denise Richards

I want to be sympathetic, but she married Charlie 'effin Sheen, FOR CHRISSAKES!

How can he possibly abuse Denise? He's so funny on Two and a Half Men.

I read this on thesmokinggun.com a day ago. Why is this site totally sucking ass? If I wanted to read lame shit, I'd go to I Watch Stuff!

Good, someone needs to

Dude needs to hook up with horse face Janice D. You know that whack job likes gettin' smacked around some. Have you seen her man hands??!! UGH!

So wait... Why did she leave him?!

http://www.wehateeverybody.com/

You can't blame Charlie for any of this. Denise made two major mistakes here: 1) she had kids; 2) she aged. You cant expect Charlie to leave the 18-year-old girlies alone. Denise needs to travel back in time to when people paid to watch her make out with other actresses on screen. Charlie dont do stretch marks (on tits, cooch, or otherwise). Also, I hear that, in typical fashion, once they got married Denise would no longer give him blimpkins.

I saw Denise on the Dog Whisperer. She seems like a nice girl. I want to be friends with her. Maybe we could go out for an ice cream.

Here comes my chance for the rebound hook up! With Sheen, of course. A Sheen Brothers orgy has always been a fantasy of mine. Emelio Estevez is a plus.

The real reason Charlie's prepping to play O.J. - aside from the accusations of infidelity with hookers, a gambling and porn addiction, and spousal physical and mental abuse? Denise claims he frequented gay sites.

May I be the first...

Charlie loves the cock.

I remember when Denise was on Jay Leno and she said Charlie had a "fireman's pole" in his bedroom. Everyone but her knew it was obviously a stripper pole and Jay said "is that what he told you it was?" and everyone just basically laughed at her stupidy. I kinda feel sorry for her.

I am reporting all disgusting posts.

#7 What is blimpkins by its use I'm to assume it is a oral sex?
#11 ROFLMAO that is too funny sorry I missed that episode of Leno!

Edna, you can report on my post. It's been hoisted ever since you first joined our happy little family here. Now come on, do what you know I like....thats right we're gonna play German soldier and Danish Milk Maid again, now go get your bucket.

I love Denise, she's not vacuous like people tend to assume. She is actually very real and of course, I'd hit it.

As for Charlie, I think you reach a certain age when the cutesy -ie or -y should be dropped. Joey, Bobby, Davey, Pauly. It just seems so little kid, or Soprano.

But Charlie loves the Tom Cruise, so by proxy he loves the cock.

what a ditz... she's an idiot. The kids would be better off with their dad than a mom who has the iq of a raisin

It's so interesting to watch young "men" make fun of women for getting older. Would you rather they died at 26? Do you have mothers, sisters, girlfriends, or even friends who are women? What do they think of you?

I can't wait until all you teen, 20- and 30-something "me" hit 65, if you're so lucky. You'll have hair coming out your ears and nose by then. Let's talk then.

Edna, Pat Robertson just called and said you're going to go to hell.

@17 I think she looks better now than she ever did when she was younger. Personal preference of course.

Thank you Gerald. You rock.

So the man likes his teenage porn. Who doesn't. Look people, this bimbo knew what she was getting into, I say give her NOTHING!

#21

Damn straight.

#17

Good point. Now I feel bad.
But she's still dopey for the whole "fire pole" thing

Is Edna MeganHarris or Kimmy?

Edna Loves Da Cock.

Chuck is an American celebrity - like... what was she expecting ?
Get out more woman.

#13, it actually called a "blumpkin" and its when a dude gets knob slobbed while sitting on the can, doing his thing.

(I tried to describe it with out using the words "BJ" and "taking a shit")

Oh please, there is no way anyone can convince me that this marriage was not 100% orchestrated for my personal amusement. Just thinking about their "family" makes me giggle so much I get the squirts!
Charles is such a lovable doucheface, look at that crazy-ass mug!
*teehee

#25
REPORTED!

He does have that scary psychotic look on his face in most photos...

Okay, this was like #270 on the Paris page, and I heard Edna moved over here and wanted to make sure she saw it, so I'm posting it a second time:

I just finished doing some more research on Edna, and this is what I came up with.

Edna: back in high school you could no longer satisfy yourself with just loving the Lord, and gave into the big handsome quarterback in the backseat of his Camaro while Stairway to Heaven was blasting on the stereo.

Fearing pregnancy, you only let him give it to you in the pooper, but then the cops showed up and you jumped up in surprise, letting his brown-tinted football player juice leak out of your chocolate starfish and down into your as yet untainted honeypot.

Nine months later, you had a technical virgin birth, but, unable to support the child, gave it up for adoption.

Your quest to rid the Internet of filth is really just a front in your desire to find your Jesus-like love child that you gave away so long ago.

Well, your search is over. He is here, and his name is PapaHotNuts.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm reported.

threats of violence and statements that he is going to kill me.........'better not tell anybody about his using these drugs and better keep it to myself.'.........abused prescription drugs .........pornography Web sites featuring "very young girls" that he'd been visiting.... I understood this to mean that he would kill me."

Three words: MY NEW HERO

The irony is that Denise Richards is a reported germaphobe who constantly sanitizes her hands and anything she touches. How many bottles of Purell do you think it takes to clean Charlie's junk?

EDNA - IF YOU ARE REAL AND SERIOUS. I'M ALL ABOUT KEEPING THE PREDATORS AWAY FROM THE CHILDREN. IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING MEANINGFULL - GO FIND AND REPORT THEM. OR MONITOR BOARDS TO DO SOMETHING LIKE STOP ANOTHER SCHOOL SHOOTING. THE PEOPLE HERE ARE ADULTS AND IF THEY WANT TO USE VULGAR LANGUAGE - IT IS THEIR RIGHT TO DO SO. FUTHERMORE, IF THEY AREN'T ADULTS - THEIR PARENTS SHOULD BE MONITORING THEIR COMPUTER USE. IF YOU AREN'T REAL - KEEP ON POSTING - YOU'VE GOT EVERYONE FIRED UP. TONS OF FUN.

lame. Post about celebrity, not other posters. -1 points for bigjim.

Charlie turns me on, he should call me.

It's about time Charlie dumped this nag. Her and the babies were totally cramping his style.

Anyways, who is she to make moral judgments on his love of prostitutes/drugs/alcohol/gambling/
child pornography? Please get off your high horse Denise; we need a "Starship Troopers" sequel.

I'm just on a day off from from working at a recovery center with the down and out, people recovering from addictions to a variety of charming drugs such as meth, trying to piece their lives back together with the little bit of bureaucratic resources available to them (free orange juice and 2 hours of computer access a week to make resumes, mostly) and you know what? it's refreshing to come make fun of celebrite excess without people getting all up in my face. In a masochistic fashion, I love celebrites. I like watching them gorge themselves at the buffet of opportunity while better people go without.

So fix yo weave bitch. Get out of our way while we go about minding our own celebrite business business. OK, sure it's inspiring to see that there's people like you busy on the front lines, combatting the general filth and disease of planet Earth. Because I too hate the F-Bomb. The F-Bomb, in fact, raped and murdered my mother while me & my brothers watched in mute terror through a tear in the flannel sheet that served as the bathroom door. Part of me is still silently screaming inside because of that day, Edna. Part of me always will be.

I just have to wonder though. Jesus did mention to not consort with criminals, lest you become like them. I think you like it here, Edna.

I think you want us to touch you with our filthy hands.

Posted by mmmBitch on April 21, 2006 08:30 PM

lame. Post about celebrity, not other posters. -1 points for bigjim.

mmmBop just broke it's own rule by posting about other posters. tsk tsk

-5 points for breaking The Rule and posting about me

-10 points for choosing Obadiah as tag name.

mmmBop, I don't like when people make up rules when we're all well into the game! That's why I hate playing Scrabble!

I guess she thought she could CHANGE him....lol Women like that are so pathetic.

Obadiah and mmmBitch -7,000 points in life for giving a shit about some kind of points system in the comment section of a website that is making more money than you 2 combined your whole lives. or something.

I don't feel bad for her because in that James Bond movie didn't she play some kind of physimist who exploded nulecules? She can use those skills to disintegrate him because it's SCIENCE!

I'm not supposed to talk to Drunk people.

Edna, I've a super + tampon with your name on it... here it goes, up the love-channel, absorbing not only this month's non-conceived child, but some yummy left-over jizz that has never had the chance to dribble down my thigh.

@46 - I've got a suppository for Edna. The other night I got sick and ate one. Tasted like shit. Might as well have put it up my ass.

#46 REPORTED!

May God bless your soul and that you let Jesus enter your heart and accept Him as your savior.

I'm going to pee in your mouth Drunk Blogger... and leave Oba out of this!

Fuck... -1 points for me

Edna:

I just got off the phone with Jesus, and he wants you to shut the fuck up.

#34 - I totally agree. They should be old enough to at least have a little fuzz.

@ Jacq, the thing about eating suppositories, used or unused they still taste like shit.

# 38
And here I always thought the commercial went -
"HoneyComb - It's a tastey treat.
HoneyComb - honey-flavoured corn cereal bits - yum
HoneyComb - wheat and gluten free - for you commies."
sung to tune 'Inna Gadda Da Vidda' .(Or it was some similar tune I remember.)
They never put the recovery center schicK in the ads... interesting.... Ever heard of the 'New World Order' ?..... me either...if u know what I mean...

Hey, Edna. No one here is a terrorist. No one here is plotting to kill your pal GWB. Sure, a bunch of us want Paris Hilton to ass fuck him with a strap on that's infected with her terminal herpes, and have him fester for a few days and then explode all over the Oval office, hopefully taking out Cheney and Rumsfeld while he's at it, but none of us are plotting to make it happen. We aren't engaged in any kind of conspiracy.

So, maybe, just maybe, those homeland crossing guard guys you've been blowing have more important things to do than worry about us.

Binky's so weird - he makes the world look sane...

Oh wait, Edna is supposedly reporting this to Homeland Security?

Bwahahahahaha.

Knock it off NewGuy/Kimmie, you are just making yourself look like a bigger idiot (amazing but true)

#54 Your post has been forwaded to the FBI, REPORTED.

Edna, you numb cunt, you already reported me.

I've already found my lord n' saviour, and his name is PapaHotNuts. And I am NOT going to tell you where he entered me.

So, bless off.

HA! Zing!

Edna, take these broken wings. Help me learn to fly again. Learn to live so free. And when we hear our voices sing, the book of love will open up and let us in.

*snicker*

Oh, no! The Federal Bureau of Infections has my post. Dear me! Whatever shall I do?

Edna, you make me laugh. Don't ever change.

Anyone got some conspiracy theories here?

I really hope this twit is kidding.

She's gonna be real surprised when Jesus asks her to leave heaven, because she's bothering the other customers.

Reporting anyone will be a pipe dream in her own personal hell. How you gonna write or talk when you've got every orifice and both hands full of Charlie Sheen midget impersonators?

I thought judgement was supposed to be God's job, bitch. Get a life.

Uh, Gerald. Not sure who the fuck you are, but did you just accuse me of being New Guy/Kimmie? If so, get blown.

Obviously you missed out on Edna's big rant on the Paris bet's her snatch-smelling car page where she threatened to report us to HS. Do I actually believe her? No, I just like making fun of the crazy cat lady.

Congratulations on the FBI BigJim. Now we're going to have to make a preemptive strike against Canada.

And Charlie Sheen's a junkie.

Here is a picture of what I imagine Edna looks like. Don't fret, it won't make you hurl like the spindoc post did on the Paris page:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Crazy_Cat_Lady.jpg

If those FBI fucks try to come up here, then I'm gonna sick Alanis Morrisette and Avril LaVigne on their asses.

Then I'll make the poor bastards listen to Nickelback until their brains melt.

And I think by saying he wanted to "kill her" he really meant that he wanted to squeeze her big breasteses and partake in some fudge knuckling. I know I would with Denise.

Oh, and a few anagrams related to a poster herein:

RAM DICK BE BAN
BAREBACK MIND
BARMAN BE DICK
A CRABBED MINK
BACK BEND A RIM
A BACK BIRD MEN
A BACK RIB MEND
A BAD MEN BRICK
DRAMA BIB NECK

#62 I think Edna has been sent by the boredom police ,as well as the long winded 'thread a wooley sweater coalition.'
I may be mistaken, but the world is of course full of evil-doers according to Wolfowitz and... Ryan Seacrest...

I have shut down many internet message boards because of their vulgarity and this is one of the worst I have ever seen. Keep making jokes about our President Bush, I forwarded a yahoo posters threats and read what happened http://www.suntimes.com/post-trib/04-18-06_z1_news_15.html

I am not kidding, you will be REPORTED!

Poor Denise!!! I feel so bad for her! And if she's not telling the truth: Poor Charlie!!! I feel so bad for him!!! But, how do you really know who is telling the truth and who isn't? I guess it's just going to be another ugly Hollywood d-i-v-o-r-c-e.

I realize that things get kind of nasty, but do you really have to report everyone who uses a "bad word"... grow up, sometimes it can be funny and let people be!

Hey, BigJim, especially that Nickelback song, "Photograph". Possibly the worst song EVER. (Actually, wait... nope, worst song EVER)

Let's meet at the CornerGas, and go for coffee with Hank and Lacy, OK?

If God is all powerful, could He make a dick so big, that even Edna couldn't suck it?

Edna, you stupid snatch. It's the Secret Service who protects the prez, not the FBI.

Fuck, are you ever useless.

I know I know, responding to trolls is a little like feeding the chimps at the zoo, or even feeding the trolls under a bridge for that matter. Strictly not advised. But the question begs to be asked: how can anyone be on both the side of Jesus and the side of Bush? That sort of shit makes Jesus mad, Edna. I've REPORTED you.

And if you ever feel the need to sic any HS guys this way I like my mens tall, ham-fisted and brown haired preferably.

krisdylee -- it's a date. I'll bring the Big Rock.

Simma down Jim, I was referring to Edna=NewGuy=Kimmie=Tom Cruise=Loves The Cock

In summation, Edna loves the cock.

huh?

Gerald: My bad.

#75 Humm...you're a little picky.
I like my dates with a pulse. But if not - decent side-impact protection.

OK, this shit's just not funny anymore. Erma, baby doll, I hate to be the one who brings this fun train to an end, but there's something you should know.

That's not Jesus you're handing in your Hello Kitty notebook to. It's your psychiatrist in thorns and a toga. Pills are bad. It's not your fault. I'm sure you only wanted hypnosis to stop smoking. You're dog told you to believe the bad man.

Don't go 'round kicking yourself because you believed it all, and you swallowed instead of spit. Those tears won't last forever, and those dick welts on your face will slowly fade. You'll be onto the next big psychotic break in no time.

krisdylee: www.bigrockbeer.com

Only hosers drink blue.

I wish I could believe she was really real. And not just some mix of Erma Bombeck and Dame Edna. It's almost too good to be true.

Whatever kind of pills Edna's poppin', I want some.

I could use an escape from reality.

BigJim, how 'bout some Molson's,
Cuz I AM.....

well, you know.

Their all natural, high fiber parts of the true cross, ground up and encapsulated in easy to digest gelatin. 450mg a day. Edna would have reported Jesus for bringing whores into church.

#83:

Google the bitch. She looks for real, even though she is real crazy.

They're all natural, high fiber parts of the true cross, ground up and encapsulated in easy to digest gelatin. 450mg a day. Edna would have reported Jesus for bringing whores into church.

Wow, she was nominated by a Planetcrap user 3 years ago for troll of the year. According to some of her posts I googled, she was still married last September. Wonder what happened there. Surely no one could get sick of Edna.

Not sure why every time I think of Edna, I think of that crazy bitch from the movie "Carrie" (you know, the one with Sissy Spacek, that old wacked-out lady who was her mother..)

Yeah, that is definitely Edna. PRAY WITH ME CARRIE.... PRAY......

krisdylee: Good analogy. I think I love you. Just don't tell my wife.

I was checking out Edna's yahoo profile, which she was kind enough to link to. I wonder if she always dresses like Mimi from the Drew Carey Show? Even God took a day off, Edna.

TCLTC! And so does Charlie, maybe?

I wonder if she forwards a lot of this nonsense to the FBI? Isn't that sort of like pulling a fire alarm or dialing 911 every time somebody pisses you off?

huh, it's only 7:20 where I live.. now that's fuckin' kewl....
just killin' time before I force my kids into bed and rape my hubby whilst imagining BigJim down below, and Papa from behind. Oh, yeah, report me now Edna, you dried up cunt bag.

She reminds me of my wife's former boss. She was a middle aged divorcee who worked to put her husband through medical school, and then he left her for a younger woman.

The proper way to deal with it was to turn lesbian out of spite, hate all men, and try to turn everyone against their husbands. Perfect logic. Same here, just with Jesus instead of a carpet buffet.

Just found this: ednabambrick@yahoo.com

I'm not advising that you do anything about it. It's just freedom of information.

kris: 8:24 here, so you can probably figure out that I live in Ralph Country. Go Flames!

yeah, fuckin' canucks couldn't pull it together again this year....

Edna lists her hobbies as quilting and playing bridge...but I thought card games were the devil. "Bridge is the devil, Bobby Boucher!" I bet she has a jackass sleeping in her bathroom.

Secret Audio Recordings:

Denise: "Oh, Land-Man, it's too big!"
Land-Man: "Suck it, whore"
Denise: "It's tearing me apart!"
Land-Man: "It's only 16" baby"
Denise:

Applause

#100
Denise: " Is it in ? It is in - isn't it ?"

Hold the applause

I wish Edna would go quail hunting with Cheney.

God Bless you Edna. Because you are a fucking lunatic I just joined this board because after being a long time silent reader your idiotic posts tickled me so much I joined!!!

#104 - I was the same with AA

Jeez, she's been quiet for awhile. She must be reporting us in cursive with a cheap bic pen. Don't let the magic fade, Edna.

Jumpin' Jesus on a pogostick, Edna. What kind of blasphemy do I have to commit to get you to come back? How 'bout if I say that I just came back from a trip in my time machine, where I ass-fucked Moses. Then I jumped forward 1,200 years and me and JC did a DP on Mary Magdalene.

Will that do it?

#107 You are REPORTED!

Yes! It worked! I rule!

So let me get this straight...after the birth of their FIRST child he started threatening her and she understood that as he meant harm to her and her baby. And then 6 months later she got pregnant AGAIN. I am not saying she isn't smart but this F%*&ing idiot has got to be kidding if she thinks anyone is going to feel sorry for her. She is just about as dumb as a crack whore prostitute who get knocked up over and over and uses abortion as a form of birth control.

Plus...how could Emilio's brother do any of these things. I just don't believe it. YO EMILIO!

I am feeling sort of left out. Can I get reported too?

Hey, Edna -- how's that anal leakage thing working out for you?

Mmmmmm anal leakage...what a turn on.

Is 6" big? I'm 17".

This is almost as much fun as watching three retarded teenagers chase a puppy down the street.

land-woman: Any one who brags as much as you about dick size must be sub-atomic.

And the big refers to the fact that I can benchpress 315. And unlike you, I'm actually being truthful.

Everyone on this site is being reported. Reported, I tell you, to our Lord Jeeezuz!

You will all burn in hell! Hell, I tell you.

And, I like the cock.

If someone posted a link to goatse, would her head explode like Mr. Sheen's swarthy organ in a young girl's tightly swollen minge? (Legally of age, of course.)

I'm sure HS and the FBI are pissing themselves over the content they're being forwarded. I wonder how many times PapaHotNuts has been FW'd and CC'd around the old Homeland office?

Hell, they probably have a wiretap on Edna's phone, and podcast it out to the office for laughs.

I deep-throated Ron Jeremy.

I wonder if Edna was that crazy lady on Trading Spouses a couple months back? I had a good laugh when she cussed in the name of Jesus.

#119 - that's not me. You are REPORTED! Wait, that is me. I'm a total whore.

I really like fake Edna Bambrick (108 & 117)

Has anyone read the whole thing on smoking gun.com? it's too many details for this stupid bitch to make up. she may be brain dead but charlie is almost crazier than tom. and charlie also luvs the cock although maybe juvenile cock. i'm on team richardson fer this one.
and edna so glad to see you. hypocritical whores like yerself turned me away from the catholics eons ago. thanks!

Edna loves the cock.

Why is the Superficial posting stories about Charlie Sheen. He doesn't exist! He was made up in a government conspiracy to make Hollywood actors look bad. CGI is amazing.

Actually, 108 wasn't fake. That was her. No shit.

i <3 #11, #17, #19

god, i wish i saw that episode of leno.

EDNA 125 When you say fake do you mean Newguy fake or Land-man cock size fake?

Fake Edna, you are libeling my good name. You are REPORTED. I have on retainer a very good tort lawyer and he will see this first thing monday morning.

Edna has a lawyer that specializes in pastries?

Charlie Sheen n Edna are completely wackadoodle. What does Charlie's oh so Catholic father Martin think about all of this? Such hypocrisy. Thanks Sheen Family for the good fun on TGIF. Can't be the Irish side 'o the family that makes these lucky charms.

BigJim-

I'm not sure which post to respond to, but I think in one of them we just tag-teamed krisdylee.
I knew we'd get that bitch.

But seriously, I reported you to someone.

And here my high school principal said I'd never amount to anything.

REAL EDNA IS IN BED WITH JESUS NOW. FEEL FREE TO USE WORDS LIKE FUCK, COCK, PUSSY. SHE CAN'T REPORT YOU IF SHE'S SLEEPING. FAKE EDNA LOVES THE COCK - I'M GUESSING SHE IS BUSY TOO.

As much fun as this is, I gotta get some sleep. Later Edna. Have pleasant, Jesus-filled dreams.

#133
REPORTED!

this site makes me wanna cry and doodie myself

#131 - Papa... whisper that to me in my ear..."I knew we'd get that bitch"... now say it again and pull my hair, just a bit... say it and spank me, that's right...... Edna, are you getting this????

Say it Papa. Say it...

@137

REPORTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To the Sexy Police for being too damn sexy. Do you do your little thing on the catwalk?

@135

REPORTED!!!!!!

To Homeland Security for FAILING AT LIFE!!!

Download Charlie Sheen & Denise Richards' divorce documents in enhanced PDF format:

http://www.pretendpundit.com/2006/04/charlie_sheen_i.html

(converted from The Smoking Gun images)

I want to kill Denise Richards, too, and steal her boobs. Then I will put them on ice and they will make a lovely centerpiece at my wine and cheese party.

This just in, and screw you Superficial guy for taking days off & making me think Edna Spermbank was going to arrest my dog:

Denise Richards & Richie Sambora have been doing it for almost a year. Pics & videos coming out tomorrow... sweeeeet!
I hope Charlie Sheen beats her up again.

Ahhhh blow it out your ass Edna!

Hey Edna, join my yahoo group.

We can kick your ass.

In addition to the 17 pages that make me believe that Denise isn't making this stuff up, it's the conspiracy part that's creepy. First, the Nicole Simpson murder, then he says "no comment" when she asks if he had anything to do with the porn star who ending up dead (just say no, Charlie), questions and berates her for "poisoning" his daughter with immunity shots. Then of course, there's the 9/11 stuff.
Stick to being a man-whore Charlie.

From what I hear, Sambora's not much of a step up.

Well, well, well...Edna, my arch nemesis.
I hope you're sitting down.

Fuck you, you fucking fuck.

See you in hell, sister

Spindoc, Obadiah, krisdylee, BigJim, Italian Stallion,
and Jacq-why are you wasting your time writing on this dumb website-why not write for a real magazine where your
amazing wit could be put to better use?
I hear that Hustler pays well.

........

I dont know if anyone comes on here anymore but if you do and also think that edna needs to get a life and needs to stop reporting people then feel free to sign my petition against her at: http://www.petitiononline.com/Bambrick/petition.html
Thank you becasue every signature counts!

hey does any1 know wot it said on hur chaps n the video dirty ?? plezz wb as soon as poss