Apr 25 2006Catherine Zeta-Jones loves T-Mobile

First!

I've never even seen or heard of any of these adverts..

that's just sick

Brad Pitt? Heineken? I am sure I would have remembered seeing that one.

Here's a link to the Brad-Heineken commercial if anyone is interested:

http://www.goyk.com/video.asp?path=1395

Well, Catherine Zeta-Jones needs all the money she can get. She's funneling most of it into some serious R and D for when Michael starts pissing himself, looking like a stroke victim, and begins suffering from impotence. Oh, wait. That's now. Well, then, BITCH pony up!!!!!! Mama needs a new car.

Hmm. I've only see the T-Mobile ads on tv. I'm assuming the rest are either print ads or are shown in the European or Asian markets.

If that ad cost Heineken 4 mil on Brad's paycheck alone, they got ripped. I'd've done it for 3 mil :)

Have you ever noticed in the T-Mobile ads that the normal people aren't even in the same room as CZJ when these ads are filmed? You can tell she films them on her own & then they add the regular folk and blend the two together in post production. God forbid she is touched by a peasant who is only making $25 for their part in the ad! "Michael, I think one of them looked at me and it made me feel ugly inside!!"

#8: I believe she stipulated in her contract that the 'normal' people must stay at least four feet away from her. But when has a celebrity ever really been demanding like that? Oh, wait..

---
http://www.betterthanyou.org

Del Taco once gave me five dollars to not tell anyone about the dirty condom I found in my burrito, which was pretty much the price of the burrito. I'm surprised my free burrito endorsement didn't make it in the top ten - being that I'm incredibly hot and famous.

Ugh! She bugs me. Congrats on the marriage to ol' wrinkle ass. I'd spend all of that $20 million to get that image out of my head.

For anyone who cares, the Este in Estee Lauder is spelled incorrectly as is Gianfranco Ferre. But, we can spell Heineken dead-on. God I love this place.

Other celebrity endorsements:

Britney Spears, Natural Light: $200 per month, free weekly keg

Michael Jackson, Gap for Kids: One young small Latino boy per day

Star Jones, Buffet King: One free buffet every 6 minutes

Edna Bambrick, Fire & Brimstone Sales Inc.: One Wrath of God a month

Please help me out with more. Too stupid this morning to think.

Good god, that is some money.

I want to endorse T-Mobile. I'll even endorse something I completely hate for $20M.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

Rosie O'donnell: Hanes underwear with Dick Holes in em: Years supply

Tom Cruise: The Thunder stick: Lifetime supply

Whitney Houston: Mr Clean bathroom addition: Can't give money to a crack whore

Barry Bonds: Hyperdermic needles: Steriods to fill them

Slightly off topic but when the fuck did Catherine Zeta Jones lose her Welsh accent. In films maybe but in real life too? WTF?

Paris Hilton: Summer's Eve Douche: lifetime supply, or until her snatch shrivels up and and dies.

PapaHotNutz - Tigerbalm: $30,000 per minute and a lifetime supply to keep his nutzzz nice and hot.
MeganHarris - Radiohead: Free T-shirts and studded belts for roadie rim jobs and her famous "Chai Tea Beard" trick.

Mariah Carey - Estee Lauder: 18 barrels of nacho cheese, 34 gallons of bronzing foundation, $17,050 worth of Nair products, and a big ol' jar of pickles.

Pet Doherty - Public Service Announcements: reduced sentence.

Britney Spears - Wal-Mart: Free men's sweatpants, unlimited supply of recalled baby furniture, and a big ol' jar of pickles. Them fat sluts love them some pickles.

Charlie Sheen -- Everlast -- free boxing gloves

David Spade -- eHarmony.com -- get's to fuck Heather Locklear

Katie Holmes -- Scientology -- get's to go on living

Janet Jackson -- Wonderbra -- Uh, I got nothin'

Sorry, those were all pretty lame. I suck.

BigJim - Labatt's Blue: Awesome bench press machine, every copy of South Park ever made, Matt Stone and Trey Parker inflatable love dolls, and a dartboard with George W.'s face on it so he can "stick it to the man". Right on!

Elton John, Anal Eaze Lubricants: One Case a day

Rosie O'Donnell, Anal Eaze Lubricants: One Case a day to spread on anus & cheeseburgers

oshkoshb-goshdammgosh,Anal Eaze Lubricants: One Case an Hour when I'm visiting

The State of Louisiana,Anal Eaze Lubricants: One Case per hurricane so we don't get fucked so hard again

can you hear me now?

Gwenyth Paltrow for Estee Lauder?! I can't see her endorsing cologne, she looks like she smells like Boiled Cabbage.

I will defend the Zeta Jones on this one...All the other celebs I have never seen their ads, but her ads at least are running all the time.

I must say it puts me at "Eaze" to know the good people at "Anal Eaze Lubricants" have got my back in case Papa Hot Nuts comes to Monroe with butthole on his mind and a song in his heart.

*makes note, Monroe, north part of my state*

Do they even use these products? NO, it's for the us peons to idolize this shit because their name is attached to it...for like 30 seconds!

Edna's on the brit page!

Anyone who has T-mobile as a provider is a dumbass. What kind of company spends $20 million dollars to have the face and voice of a greedy, tacky biatch married to a wrinkled ass for his money?? What kind of company wants a litigious and shallow and aging actress to represent them? I can only imagine how their customer service is since they spend all their money on Catherine Skank-Jones.

Used to think Zeta-Jones was hot, but the thought of her banging a guy a year older than her father kinda does it for me. The 20 mil is more action than Michael "Gray Pubes" Douglas can currently provide. As far a celebrity endorsements, how about Katie Holmes and Cameron Diaz as "beards" spokeswomen? Paris Hilton maybe have her own celebrity line of Valtrex? The Britney Spears Invisible Car Seat?

How about Chris Martin/Coldplay: Sominex

Heineken is not getting their money's worth if no one knows the Brad Pitt ad exists...

Where's Paris? Doesn't she make around 4 mil for her dumb fragrance or somthing?

MeganHarris no likey Paris Fragrance, MeganHarris really likey Paris voice in "screwed" though, which make me no likey MeganHarris.......

They're coming out with a MeganHarris fragrance. Word on the street is it smells like seared flesh and teen angst.

@33

Chris Martin's has added a new client
Colt Handguns: One 45 semi-automatic, box of shells and a copy of Final Exit.

@35 I'm happy to make arrangements for Colt to hire you next.

Britney Spears, Cheetos: $oh, millions

I especially love that Catherine Zeta Jones isn't even on set with the others in the comercials. She films her stuff on bluescreen and they super-impose the other in lol...it's why she always looks too big or too small compared to the others.

Most of the ads listed are made in and played in Japan. The stars agree to do these ads because they won't be shown here and make them look like the seel outs they are (aside from CZJ who is 70, actually older than MD but he just won't drink of her blood..smart guy.)

*sell outs. sorry!

to make everyone in Louisiana feel better - fifth thumbnail down on the left.

http://www.georgerodrigue.com/currentsilkscreens5.htm

Thanks, cat, but that picture of the fucking blue dog will only make me feel better if it's made out of vicodin. Is it?
Seriously, is it?

More endorsements:

1. Kurt Cobain: Winchester firearms, Remington ammunition, Dutch Boy paint (It WON'T Stain!)

2. Michael Hutchence: Bed, Bath & (into the great) Beyond.

3. George Michael: Port-a Potty

4. Sid Vicious & Nancy Spungen: Ginsu Knives.

5. Mama Cass: Hormel Ham, Wonder Bread, French's Mustard

6. Karen Carpenter: Slim-Fast, Dexatrim, Ex-lax

7. Stevie Ray Vaughn: Bell Helicopters

8. John Denver: Cessna

9. Peter O'Toole: Bushmills, Powers, Tullamore Dew

10. Russell Crowe: SBC/AT&T

11. Phil Hartman: Beretta Firearms, Federal Ammunition

43: Did something happen in Louisiana? Why are they so sad?

Edna, $4.00 American, Jesus Chips by Nabisco

Jessica Alba....damn lost concentration thinking about her ass. mmmmm Alba-Ass

PH Nuts, are you sure that's not "Gaping Kids"

oshkosh - vicodin; no. LSD; yes.

And to think, the people who appear in these commercials with the stars only make good money if the commercial airs a lot, and they probably have to work other jobs. Suckers. haha. Oh wait, I'm one of them too. Shit.

#44 Osh...Viagra..the little blue pill.

What the hell is St. John, isn't it that hideous line of old lady/fat chick "sportswear" they sell at JC Penny?