Apr 11 2006Britney Spears visited by child welfare officials

most shocking news story to date.

"accidentally trying to eat Sean Preston again after confusing him for a giant bowl of crawfish."

Gold!

what the hell? you changed the last line on me... and the first one was better godamnit!

and in other not so surprising news...

tom cruise likes cock.

I read on TMZ that Sean fell off of a high chair and fractured his skull. Dont know how true it is but damm, hope he's ok!!

Today it was child welfare.... Anyone else have the feeling that the Spears/Federline compound will be featured on COPS by the end of the month?

"""It's a very standard, routine patrol request," the lieutenant said. "We just roll out with them. We stood by, we took no action, no report or anything.""

Hmm, funny, my parents, my sister, many friends have all managed to raise in total dozens of children. None of them have ever been visited by Child services. Doesn't sound very "Routine" to me. Leaving a baby in that house reminds of that scene in "Trainspoting" You know what I mean.

Yeah, she & Federline are gonna be like Ronnie Dobbs on Fuzz.

Yay!

(and funny #4)

In other news, child services have visted Katie Holmes stomache today to make sure that the pillow she has stuffed under her dress to feign pregnancy isn't being mistreated.

It is standard practice for Child and Family Services to administer driving tests to any aspiring drivers under one year of age. Happy Motoring Sean!

"It's a very standard, routine patrol request," the lieutenant said. "We just roll out with them. We stood by, we took no action, no report or anything."

Hmm, funny how my parents mangaged to raise three kids, my sister two, between all my friends probably around 18 and yet none of them were ever visited by Child services. Doesn't sound too "routine"

that's right my little pawn... change the last line back to 'crawfish'... no one liked the 'opossom'... bwahahahaha

oh, and I heard that Britney tried to re-insert Shawn Preston so she could go on eating like a horse without all the judgement... very clever Britney... verrrrrrry clever.

This isn't the first time they've visited the Spears "trailer" either and it probably will not be the last.

This isn't the first time they've visited the Spears "trailer" either and it probably will not be the last.

This isn't the first time they've visited the Spears "trailer" either and it probably will not be the last.

oops.

oops.

They probably heard about the statue.

Yeah that's a real shocker. My only question is, why did it take them so long? They should have made their first visit before he was born based on genetics alone!

She looks like a maniac with an alien for a child. I would hope child welfare officials visit them more often.

No, seriously, that kid looks deranged.

anyone else picturing these two idiots as the southern inbreds on the simpsons?????

I pray that she eats the child like a crawfish.

Which is worse, being eaten by Brit that way or being told your dad was K-Fed?

Let's all pray the child gets eaten together.

I heard Britney's Dad came to visit his "favorite little boy" and his ankle bracelet set off an alarm down at Amber Alert Headquarters...

aren't they a little late? sheesh.

#25, I think you're thinking of Linsday Lohan's dad?

#5 Brit had her hands full and it was a split second decision..."cheetos...baby...cheetos...baby omigaaawd which one do I let go of.....???"

My bad, you're right Malakite. Lindsay HoHan's dad was over to offer Kfed some advice on raising a "tight knit little family". It was when he pulled out the sock puppets when Brit had a childhood flashback to the toolshed and called the cops...

I just can't help thinking of the all too often scenario when a child begs and nags for a puppy and finally gets one and then the mom ends up taking care of it because the child is too immature and does stupid things like dropping it on its head....

Britney really needs to move back home, stay the hell out of the spotlight, and let her mom take care of S.P.

"Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?"

I can just imagine the COPS show with Brit & K-Fed. They bust down the front, run to the living room and find Britney passed out on the floor covered in cheeto dust. K-Fed's playing X-Box with a doobie hanging off his lip. And little Sean Preston is sitting in just his diaper, smeared with cheeto finger prints, mashing his fat baby hand on the phone trying to dial 911 to get the hell out of there.

they went there as a follow up to the baby-on-the lap incident

however, the new Star magazine is running a FALSE story that Sean P. fractured his skull and was rushed to the ER

this is WRONG....she can't take 2 steps in public w/out someone taking her pic, if he was rushed to the ER there would be pics

LIES!

oh, PS morons

saying "I raised x amount of kids w/out an incident" or "this person raised x amount of kids with no visit from child services" is ignorant

she's Britney Spears..everyone is out to get her.

In most states, child welfare is called if the emergency room staff notifies them that child abuse is a possibility. They don't just show up because they had nothing else to do, or they heard a rumor.

DuckBoy, what is wrong with you? She's been voluntarily showing off her puffy face and stank-hole cooter since she was daddy's little whore on the Mickey Mouse Club. Its been her choice to keep running around for public ridicule. Her 58 hour marriage, her oopsie unwanted pregnancy, her useless tool of a husband, her hillbilly outfits, her picking her nose...

Get a real idol. Like Lindsay Lohan or someone...

On topic, this might be worth listening to:

http://www.myspace.com/discothekidrules

click on "wigga please"

this "couple" should stop frontin' and start takin' care of they kid

#23 k-fed = cletis and you rock

10 bajillion cool points to the superficial guy for intimating that bspears will eat her baby

britney is really saggy and looks like she's melting.

This child will make a wonderful offering to Xenu. Hail Thetan!

Finally!

Anyone else strongly suspect that Sean cries himself to sleep at night because he doesn't yet have the strength to work the slide on K-Fed's "gat" and thereby put himself out of his misery?

Yo Yo Yo Dem child services peeps came to da house again, And I yell to da phat hoe to get dat dough. Dat dumb bitch went in da kitchen and start eatin cookie dough. So I told Sean to ansa da dough but I forgot he was outside playin in da street. So guess who had to answer da dough. I says, Yo Tom Cruise stop sucking my cock and go get da dough. And he did, Yo, and den he was right back on my cock..............

The kid just heard Popozao and when he realized his father wrote that song, he just knew it was better just to go ahead and kill himself now.

I'm sure Sean Preston was the one who called the damn welfare service himself. Who could blame him? If Britney Spears was my mother and K-Fed was my father, I would try and get SIDS any way possible - burying myself in my pillow, take up smoking - whatever gets the job done.

Fell out of a high chair my ass!

#43, you made me pee my pants. Good-on-ya!

not entirely surprising, which is pretty sad to say the least...

#32...People magazine is running the highchair/fractured skull incident also.

I think it was obviously a baby-airbag suicide attempt.

Poor little thing, I wonder how long it took the nanny to find him on the floor.

47. It took the nanny about 20 minutes to dig him out from under the avalanche of chicharrones and cheetos. Poor thing had brain damage, I'm sure. If you consider what he inherited from those two trash mongers a brain...

Hey DuckBoy,

I think you're on the wrong website, you might want to try~

www.ilovebritneyspearsfatass.com

I hope we cleared that up,

Love, the superficialites

Look at the bright side ... if this is the cost of stopping their gene pool, then I'm willing to look the other way.

I guess when you see a new born baby learning how to drive you are going to have some problems. Whats next throwing your kid out of a 10 story building....

Duckboy, you really are an IDIOT. The fact that she IS Britney Spears is the reason why she's been getting away with all sorts since she became a mother. The fact that he IS Michael Jackson is the reason why he got away with dangling a baby from a balcony. Oh, and YES, the fact that she IS Kate Moss is the reason why she got away with taking hard drugs. This 'they're famous, that's why everyone is after them' line is bullshit. Them being famous is the Get Out of Jail Free card and Britney's been using it since forever.

As for 'normal' people: If I (and yes, I will be using myself as a case) was caught with my baby on my lap while driving, I will have my baby taken away from me quicker than you could say 'K-Fed is trailer trash.' And rightly so.

FYI, DuckBoy. All the news sites and People.com are all confirming that the baby did fall out of his high chair while in the care of the nanny while Brit and her hubby were partying it up in Dallas. And that the baby was taken to the ER as a precaution b/c he wasn't acting right. Her reps also confirmed the story. Babies do fall and people aren't perfect, but child welfare doesn't just go to people's homes for no reason. They have to have serious reason to make the trip. She needs to either get a better nanny or actually be a parent to this child and spend some time with him. There are plenty of Hollywood couples who balance their time well. She's gone traveling around and partying it up with Kevin so much, that kid probably thinks the nanny is his mother. He keeps wondering who that strange lady with the cheetos is.

#14-18, You stole my porn-star name. Now I have to destroy you.
I heard Britney makes the BEST baby etoufee.

Baby gumbo, baby stew, mango baby, BBQ baby on a stick, baby creole, baby soup, baby flambe, baby gravy, roast baby with blanched squab eggs in a remoulade glace... Yup, Forest, that's about it...

Being Britney's publicist and all, Duckboy just can't seem to face up to the fact that his client Brit-Brit is thus far not proving to be a great mother.

If she's not screwing up the job herself, she just passes the kid over to the nanny, who promptly drops the child on his head. Hey, good job everyone!

Duckboy, we admire the bang-up job you're doing in attempting to see your client Britney in only the best of lights, and we stand in awe at your determination to make the best out of a very bad situation. Bravo, Ducky, bravo. Keep up the good work!

now, don't blame me, osh started this:

what's worse than a pile of dead babies?

a live one at the bottom eating his way up.

i can't believe i just shared that.
oh, and barbado, thanks for that link! wigga please. PUH_LEEZ!
hahahaha

pobrecito! con esa madre de mierda que le toco, no es gracioso! poor child!

@58

Hey. I translated your comment on babelfish and this is what is said:

"pobrecito! with that excrement mother that I touch to him, he is not graceful"

BWAHHHAHAAHHAAAAHHAAAA!!!!!

@43
THANK YOU!!

Translating of 58:

"Poor little one, with that shitty mother, its not funny!"

Britney makes me remember the Fat Bastard character from the Austin Powers movies, with that baby eating obsession and the tons of lard.

I wont be surprised if the baby becomes a serial killer when he grows, because his mother hating obsession.