Apr 13 2006Avril Lavigne has a belly

Who cares, it's not like she was ever pretty to begin with, or interesting for that matter. And she only made one sort of good song. Just go away Avril!

maybe she just has uncomfortable gas and bloating!

You call that a belly? Pfft..

Although, I hear she's attempting modelling now so, suck it in, Avril! But she's like 5'2" anyway so I'm not sure she'll be a hit. And she's not pretty.

If she sucked in her belly as much as she sucks at singing she'd have a sweet six-pack o' abs....

That's a weird belly.

I think she's annoying. All she talked about in magazines was that she was anti-Britney and stuff like that.

Maybe she's on the same Sperm & Oprah diet that caused Seacrest to bloat up!

Oh shutup sjb16, where did you get a name like that. Comment on another board you dope, konichiwa bitches!

FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't you just love how excited people get at being first, like its the best thing to happen to them all day. Then they find out that someone else posted while they were dancing around the room.

In other news ... Tom Cruise loves the cock.

I can't be positive, but I think she might have swallowed a jelly bean. SCANDALOUS!!!!!!

Chiris you think her being anti britney would mean she wouldn't be friends with a ho like paris hilton but hey she's a moron like every other no talent trash talkin idiot in hollywood. Yeah she's punk. Come kick my ass you little leprechaun.

I would knock her down in a minute..FIRST!!!

that IS a weird looking belly. looks like a forming beer belly... or, on a rational thought, the skeet skeet skeet diet plan...

plus, she looks like she walked out of dawn of the dead. she looked a bit ok with the brown hair and makeup before than with the wig-looking shaggy mess on her head and pastieness...

It looks like she took the 8-ball off of a pool table and hid it in her shirt just to fuck with people trying to play pool.
"I'm such an anti-pop girl and a rebel, let them try and finish a game with no 8-ball!" (flipping the bird to the bar)"I'm a bad-ass!"

She bothers me...and WTF is wrong with her hair...looks like tumbleweed!

Talk about NOT attractive. And so young too. Imagine when she hits the dreaded 25-year-old wall where most women begin to look like shit. Yeeessshh!!

To poster #7 Mouth, what are kind of catty bitch are you? Just kidding! But seriously you are a bitch. What kind of name is Mouth?

Peace Out!!

She's such a fraud. She's an eMpTyV manufactured punk, which is to say she's no punk at all.

Papa is the true badass of the Superficial. Call me a Papa groupie cause I worship at his alter. Papa, what happened to Laydeebug?

I'm prettier and a better singer

Damn she looks hammered.
I'm with PapaHotNuts on the 8 ball theory

well my favourite was that she was "discovered" by singing country music

and that's a horrific "belly" i'm putting my money on the bomb i put inside her FINALLY going off

ell semble gonflee, cette periode du mois, peut-etre? Ah, tant-pis.

LOL @ #4!

je t'aime krisdylee. tu es la meillure "poster" ici! Viva la France!

I don't know why this suprises anyone...after all, she IS Canadian.

oui, je regne!!! vive la moi!!!

I know, those fuckin' Canadians...

Discovered singing country music??? And she claims she's "punk???" It's funny how she and Ashlee are a bit similar with their so called "anti-pop, 'Look at me. I'm some hardcore Punk/Rock piece of crap'" no talent POP "stars." It makes me cry sometimes that they claim to be what they're not and the fact that their songs are so shitty.

Anvil Lavigne needs to go back to Canada, beat herself with a hockey stick and then drown herself with maple syrup...eh.

she looks like she could be one of Nicole Kidman's ghost kids from The Others. And is that truck huge, or is she about 3 feet tall?

What kind of SUV is she standing next to?? Between the SUV and the curb on the other side of her poor little Avril looks like a midget.

Sorry to interrupt, just here looking for my car keys. Anybody seen 'em? Side note, Avril's looking a little like Janice Joplin, minus the daily flask of bourbon, half pack of smokes and standard sleep deprivation. Oh, and minus the death thingy. I'd hit her like Jim Morrison would hit a bong. (Except I would be less dead than Jim.)

Anyway, if you've seen my keys let me know.

#11 I thought you were supposed to be cool and funny. A jelly bean? Is that the best you could think of? If you don't have something funny to say about this entry, don't embarrass yourself.

"She's such a fraud. She's an eMpTyV manufactured punk, which is to say she's no punk at all."

Word. 'Punk' nowadays acutally resembles nothing punk whatsoever, but rather 'catchy, marketable, angry pop music fortified with Hot Topic injections'.

Mall-core.

Plus she started out as a new-country singer. That wasn't working out for her, so they changed her style to "generic rebellious teen angst" and she was an overnight sensation.

Now she's a 'model'. Whatev. Nice hair. She looks like an extra cast member from the Lion King musical, about to release a mall-punk version of Acuna Matata.

Is that umbilical hernia? They can operate on that can't they?

#15 - Did you forget to work in "eh!" and "hosers!" ?

She has teeth like Kristin Dunst, who we have not picked on recently enough, which makes me want to punch babies. I hate when the two front teeth are kinda angled back and the teeth on each side stick forward. I'm equally as worried about what's going on under her shirt as I am about what's happening on her head. Do something with that mop!

@35

You know what else is embarassing? Being a thread stalker. Enjoy! Happy Stalking!!! Yay!!! Stupid.

as funny as the belly is, i can not get over that pissed off look on her face. "i have been standing here for 15 minutes, this door is not going to open itself I am Avril F-ing Lavigne"

Her and Paris are having a contest to see who can have the biggest FUPA......

I'd hit it.

I'm not stalking, I just like to push your buttons. It’s fun!

It's not as much fun for you though, is it?

"Yay stupid"? I used to call people stupid when I got mad, back in the 1st grade! Come on, we're adults, lets use adult insults! I want to hear your best, or is "stupid" your best?

Tag, you're it.

Mallcore, indeed. She's thinking of lyrics to her next hit single, "Food Court Love".

Oh yeah, my last post was directed toward mamacita, i forgot to specify.

Tom Cruise would hit it. Ask Xenu.

@43

"Tag, you're it."

Ewww, don't touch me. I'm gonna get Kim cooties. Moommmmmm, Kim's touching me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a fat disgusting heifer. Someone please shoot her in the head before she eats all of us or crushes some children with her enormous gut. Cow.

P.S. I was talking about Kim. I think Avril Lavigne is a sexy tart.

If you look closely at the contours of her tee-shirt, you can see an image of the Risen Christ. It starts directly below the lettering that reads, "I reject your values".

someone needs to kick avril repletively in the ovaries

Psssst! Avril! Honey, ur boob feel outta your bra again sweetie!
Shit-they sure do sag! Catch it before it rolls down ur pantleg!

Uh, that's not Avril Lavigne, fools!

@53

Wow. You're more stupid than Kim. Who knew?

Oh, oshkoshb-goshdammgosh. you hurt my feelings. i'm going to go cry now. some person who has never seen me before called me fat. boo hoo.

Hey mamacita, look who's a thread stalker now, it's oshkoshb-goshdammgosh! I didn't say one thing to it in this thread, yet IT still had to get IT'S 2 cents in.

That lump looks like an alien trying to bust through. Then it will do a little dance on the dining table, waving its top hat, kicking up its heels and singing The Michigan Rag.
And it'll be a better singer than Avril. So it's a good thing that she'll die in the process of all this.

What's with all the Canada bashing?? You think USA is better? If you're gonna talk stereotypes, why not say that You guys have hoochie mamas? It ain't any better. So stop hating on Canada and grow up.

That's because me and OshKosh are cool kids and you're the little asshole that sits under the jungle gym picking your knee scabs. Her picking on you is the equivalent of say, throwing a clod of dirt at you because you got mad at me when I wouldn't play tether ball with you.

Now that I look at it more closely, it looks like that alien Kuato from Total Recall "Quuaaid Quuaaid"!

WTF!!

I thought these threads were to make fun of the article. There is alot of people bashing going on here.

I think avril used to be cute, she never grew out of the punky 16 year old image she used to portray.

she's no amy polar...

fanie (57) - OUCH! GeezeSUSS! I was joking! Relax! What's with all the 'tude today in the threads. My GOD! Where AM I? Sorry, I thought this was the Superficial where we hate on and make fun of everything...including Canadians. However, here's a big secret, if she was from effing Ohio, I would of still said, "well, she IS from Ohio". Get a hold of yourself! Don't hate the hater, hate the hate.

Kim is the younger, less funny sister of NewGuy.

BTW Kim, I'm yet to see you post anything funny at all. Now leave mama & osh alone before you embarass yourself.

mmm knee scabs and belly fat... were classing the place up tody!
oh yea BTW!!!
IM SIXTY THIRD !! WOO!

OMG guys....I don't care about her, but my goodness....if she is considered fat then 90% of the american population is over weight. Get over it everyone....she's HUMAN..nobody is perfect EVERY DAY.

goddamn you booface.

Posted by i don't like you:
I thought these threads were to make fun of the article. There is alot of people bashing going on here.
----------------------------------
God, no shit, take the girl fight to the "forums" beeoches!

why do people still bother taking pictures of her and more importantly who is still paying for them?

I agree CoJo. This thread has turned into a war of words between some of the commenters.

fuck taking the girl fight to the forums. i wanna see it. lets take it to the webcams! add in a kiddie pool a hose and a couple boxes of jello, we've got ourselve a show.

#55 - I'm stalking you Kim, because you're so interesting I want to see what kind of crazy moves you're going to make next. Look out! Kim's going to say something crazy any second...
Avril Lavigne loves the cock, which is cool, because fat girls need love too.

LOL @ internet fighting

Hey, turkey sausage ain't that bad!

Man, she's hot!

Internet fighting is fun.

@70 I don't like jello. Can we have pudding instead? Or honey? I like honey.

@71 Watch out for that crazy Kim. She's wild and out to defile.

I know what it is: Avril is just so "punk" and "angsty" it's just rubbing off on everyone and making us act like angry rockers. Quick, post something about Juliette Lewis. She's mellow.

one time i was trying on a shirt in a gap and avril lavigne was there and she was trying on pants and she came out of the dressing room and looked at me and said "do you think i look fat in these" and i said "i think youd look fatter out of them please keep them on" and then she huffed and puffed and stomped her ginormous feet around and the thunder caused by her big jiggly thighs clapping together as she stormed off caused the entire strip mall to colaspe around us. i wasnt hurt cuz i ducked for cover under her huge ass.

true story.

I don't condone internet fighting because a titty never pops out during an online struggle.

@76 Better yet, someone post something about Coldplay and then I can settle in for a nice nap.

Who the FUCK are you booface? are you just that bored that you need to stick your cum covered face in other people's arguements?

Plus you can preview your post before you actually post it so you can catch typos like "BTW Kim, I'm yet to see you post anything funny at all. Now leave mama & osh alone before you embarass yourself"

It's I'VE yet to see, not I'M and embaRRass not embaRass. you normally learn that in 3rd grade grammar you kingergarten dropout.

I was just in the men's room at the office and I could SWEAR I just heard some dude at the crisis stage pinching a loaf exclaim ``AVRIL LAVIGNE!!!''

The fact is, Avril is so deathly skinny and anorexic that you can actually SEE the shape of her stomach. This is why being skinny is bad, folks

omg kim is lame as fuck. at first i thought she was just taking the lame dive, you know for sake of arguement. everyone needs a target sometimes, i thought she was taking one for the team. but to resort to the type corrections. holy hell girl, put a bullet in your face now dear.

@80
In reference to previewing a post before you post it:

Hey, remember in that other thread, when you did this:

"i only wish i was cool enough to have though of that! (again, sarcasm, see that's how it works)

Not that i need to explain myself, but i guess some people need things spelled out for them. My reply to oshkoshb-goshdammgosh, #123, was itself sarcasm. i guess i'm not as good at is as the rest of the intellectuals here. "

and then you did this:

"oops, typo. i meant to say "i guess i'm not as good at IT as the rest of the intellectuals here"

I had better correct myself before i get 20 posts about how i can't spell."

and then I said this:

"In reference to your addendum (post 149), you also forgot to add a 't' to the end of thought."

Yeah, that was fun.

in other related news mention of honey has made me hungry and horny.
*humps a bagel, then eats it*

Papa, my titty just totally fell out, and when I went to take off my shoe to beat that ho ass bitch my skirt got torn in half. Now everyone in the office is wondering why I'm sitting at my desk half naked holding my shoe.

@86

No lie. I totally had to take my earrings off.

Yeah. this is fun. i like to make people mad, and see their reactions.

Oh and Ez-EEEE i'd much rather put a bullet in your face, dear.

And now everyone is going home early because they all ejaculated so hard they're too exhausted to work. True story. I put the "O" in Office.

she bears a STRIKING resemblence to Tanya Harding. eesh.

That krazy Kim. She's always coming up with wacky retorts that are so klever and kewl.
In other news, Avril Lavigne's new album will be titled "Kim is Gay". It will go triple platinum in Uzbekistan.

She manages to find enough make up to cover up her scary looking face, maybe she'll find something to cover up her pudgy stomach, and god forbid we have to sit through nine months of Avril pregnancy stories.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

hey oshkoshb-goshdammgosh. i heard that too. and her first single on the cd is "oshkoshb-goshdammgosh has herpes". it's a really catchy tune.

kim: <3 love you too.

pape, mama, nakie oshie koshie: lets totally throw a huge party/orgy and invite EVERYONE! except kim. cuz then shell try to crash it and we can tell her, "hey we dont like your typo correcting ways around here miss unfunny pants" and shell tearfully run off to her moms house. and that will be good times, just like 7th grade.

To KIM:
Since we're picking apart someone's grammar, deary... YOU should learn how to spell "arguments" (NOT "arguements") before you go attack someone else. Didn't make it through kindergarten yourself, huh?

@88

Let me break this down for you. We're not getting mad. We're immensely enjoying this little witty repartee we're having with you. Well, witty on our end, anyway. Point is we're having fun and it's only more fun that you think anything you say is funny, important, or relevant. Again I say, stupid. And as far as Ez-EEEEEEEEE goes, you better quit talking shit about him or he'll give you the AIDS.

@91 Will it also go platinum in Namibia? Cause I think the people there have suffered enough.

Ez-EEEE

are you sure you're not just having a flash back to jr high when you had no friends, and no one invited you to parties?

Let me know when the party is, i won't crash it, i'll bomb the place and do away with at least some of the worhtless people on this planet.

Uh, Kim... go do your homework, play with your barbie's, make mudpies, just go away.

*does have a flashback to jr. high* oh no thats the wrong one, thats the one where the gym coach hit on me in the locker room. thanks for bringing up a very painful memory for me.
*sneezes in kims face and gives her the aids. (you didnt think id touch her ugly ass did you?)

@97

"worhtless people on this planet"

HAHAHAHAHAHA! You spelled wrong again!!! It's like I'm at the circus watching the clown get a pie in the face. *Clapping hands* Do it again! Do it again!!!!!!

ONEHUNDRED AND FIRST!

I hate it when people call me WORHTLESS!

i hate it when ppl call me wartless.

Kim, everyone in Uzbekistan already knows I have herpes. Since they can't pronounce my name they just call me Herpes Lady, and there's a statue in my liking in front of the Valtrex Headquarters Building with anatomically correct crusty sores. And that song you were talking about on Avril's album, it goes like this: "It's a brand new day..." STDs are awesome.

I guess ghost are Photogenic......

"Why the hell does my skin have to be so faded"
"All ever wanted was to look like Jada"
"I lay out, in the sun, But no tan, it's not fun".....

I love when internet fights break out and then people reference PapaHotNuts, you must be so proud of your army..so proud.

whats going on here. arent we supposed to be bashing avril, not each other?

*tear*

@107

Well, bashing each other is more fun because Avril, the snooty bitch, won't fight back.

Hey Ez-eeee, how about the girls wrestle in a pool of poutine? mmm, gravy, cheese and french fries.... now that's Canadian.

it looks to me that she's hiding a wallet or something in her waistline. she's a stuffy bitch, but id bang her just as hard as I would Kim

Bitch needs to do some sit-ups and get some deep conditioning for her hair. She looks like a blonde rat.

That is some really bad over bleached hair she's sporting. Time to chop it off & start again, or maybe some hair extensions. Maybe she's pregs with Whibley's child. Anyway she's a very boring celebrity and a terrible singer/pop star whatevs, I wish she'd disappear actually.

Ewww. And shes just has a tiny pudge. But even so...ewww. She used to be hot. I mean she's was a total poser, but she was fucking hot. WHAT HAPPENED?! Her hair looks dumb as fuck, why is it blonde. How do you go from looking how she did to this prissy shit.

Hey, Kim went to KinGergarten. They don't teach you how to be witty and clever in kinGergarten. I went to kinDergarten and I'm much cooler than Kim.

LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heehee

#82 ::: If you think THAT is anorexic, you've obviously never met or seen a real anorexic before.

@115

Not anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not seeing any belly there guys

#90 and Jennifer Jason Leigh

newsflash - cruise loves the cock
mamacita is a retard

uh oh...

#100 - my point proven

Darn it ..... and all i was trying to do was be creative

Looks like a case of weed baby.

http://www.tremble.com/scribblins/000668.html

Teehee #116, I was only kidding. The thing is some people on this site think a woman can't be anything below a size 6 without having an eating disorder or wasting away from having a flesh eating bacteria

peeps are a tad testy....it's just a full moon today....that explains it! and Avril is about to bust out in full werewolf fur...that explains her hair....and for the 'tummy'...ain't that a muffin top?!?!
hmmmm...wonder if it's a dingleberry muffin top?!!

@119

Newsflash, Bob sucks!

Well look who got beaten with the ugly stick. Bob, is that you? My God, I can't believe such an itty bitty gun could make such a big mess out of someone! You are so ugly Bob! Oh and hey I heard you have one of those poop bags where the shit comes out the side, you're just a big old shitbag aren't you Bob! I hope you think of me every time you shit in that thing motherfucker!

I'm sorry if you're still mad at me over shooting you.

P.S. Freeway Rules
P.P.S. Bob smells like doody

@122

Don't worry, it was still funny.

#97 is by far one of the funniest (and most awful) posts i've ever read on TheSuperficial for a LONG TIME. THANK YOU!!!!!!

# 106 FriarTuck-

I didn't ask to be drawn into that fight. I don't like arguing and name-calling.

So go fuck yourself you sorry sack of shit.
Oh I forgot..

Jack-Ass.

Why thank you.... I was trying really hard to balance the creativity with subtle mocking :)

#126 - you are sick

*signs up for papahotnuts minion try-outs.
*gives mamacita a bar of soap to chew on. easy on the poop talk babe. (but lol none the less)
*still pervs oshkosh hours later.
*hands kim a tissue and offers a hug.
*gives bob a brain and a sense of humor.
*gives avril a beating.
*astricks the night away.

Shhhh Quiet Everyone......

I have an important announcement.

i know where # 34's keys are.

Kim had them the whole time. I'm not going to say where she had them hid, it's disgusting.

#132 - lol at the homocidal scatologist retard? Now thats real smart and displays a fine sense of humor.

thank you im a conesuir.
i dont know how to spell that word. and i didnt look it up, just to give kim something to do later. Go Kim Go!

#129 Papa That was my pont, I am sorry if my sarcasm did not come through in the post.

sorry "point"

#134: I actually think I saw "Kim" threaten to kill people in earlier posts. She seems more homicidal than mamacita.

She's hot and very doable. Fuck all you fatties who dis her. You wish you could be young and skinny.

and anyone who uses the term scatologist on a celebrity gossip site has no sense of humor, sorry dudely.
But thanks for thinking no one on here would get what it means.

Bob loves the Kim ? ?

#132 - What does it mean when someone "pervs" you, and why do I have a burning sensation around my anus region?

What's with all the escalating sniping today? Let's remember that we're on the same side here and direct our comments toward those vacuous celebrities whose good fortune we envy. THOSE catty comments are valid, and certainly much funnier. Lest y'all go off on me for being a Pollyanna, let me end with a fond "up yours."

For anyone who's wondering, the quote in my post #126 is from the movie Freeway. I didn't make it up. However, I am a homicidal scatologist retard. Therefore, I propose this

"Bob, I'm going to shitting kill you shit shit shit shit, duhhhhrrrr, uh duhhhrrrr, drool, duhhrrrrr."

#136 - I think he was being sarcastic. He doesn't like arguing and name-calling, and then said:

"So go fuck yourself you sorry sack of shit."

It's ironic humor! : D

I do love a good papahotnuts fight, but only when its followed by awesome makeup sex.

papahotnuts is famous for his hot makeup sex.

do you guys remember the good old days, when laydeebug would grace us with her presence?

wow was she good at the makeup sex.

Pregnant? naw. But she does look like she just finished getting banged. unmistakable, that look. Bed head, grumpiness, all clear signs of a lil slut fresh outta bed.

MeganHarris we demand to know who you really are!!!

oshkosh, i am very sorry to say that burning sensation your feeling around your brown love hole has nothing to do with me. i suggest you take any further concerns you have about your poop shoot to our on-site scatologist, mamacita.

#145, I thought that too, but then i was not sure so I figured I would just clear up my post. I like to second guess myself. it keeps all of my personalties in line.

@148

I second that motion!!! Unmask yourself!!!!

@149

Yes, and as my first recommendation, I'm going to say that from now on everyone has to refer to their butthole as their "balloon knot". That'll be 65 bucks, please.

*** Newsflash ***
Kim is a stupid bitch. Don't pick a fight that you ought to know you can't win. Osh and Mama are two of the funniest smartest women on this site. The two of them ganging up and clowning on you has totally made my afternoon. Thanks for being a dumbass. Also, if you know you can preview your posts, why do you keep deciding to put them out here? Come back when you're witty. Oh, and you're fat.

Now that I may/may not have learned MeganHarris' is a man/woman, this officially frees up a spot for Kim on my top ten list of people who suck at life. I'm going to go punch babies now.

Can I have my make-up sex now? Pleeeeeeeease?

MeganHarris - I am with mamacita.
Remove your mask and take off your pants.

I wonder if she's a lesbian because it doesn't look like she wears makeup or diets, then again it is kind of hard to eat Jenny Craig when you have Mary Kay on your face........

@152

Jacq, you were wrong on only one point. Kim doesn't suck at life, she FAILS at life. So does Bob.

i'm a chick, get over it! I live in pincrest. i'm 22 years old. and i like this site.... oh my god, i feel like nazi germany!

yeah don't you try to like, pick fights and stuff, because my internet friends are better than you.
Kim totally ruffled some feathers here today.

You feel like Nazi Germany? Get out of here, fucktard.

i love you.

what MeganHarris meant to type

i'm a dude, get under it! I live in seacrest. i'm 59 years old. and i hate this site.... oh my mohammed, i am a nazi - go germany!

OOOHHH, you're so bad Avril!!! Yes, you're such a rocker, so wild and crazy and such. Why yes, you are the Anti-Britney! You are not a contrived, packaged, made-over and styled, digitally enhanced, blonde, perfect, just non-threatening enough so parents approve, teen sensation. I'm sure you struggled hard, went through alot, played some pretty low-paying gigs, and worked odds jobs to support yourself so you could be an artist all before you turned 13 and were rocketed to fame by record executives. Oh, and I'm sure you write all of your own songs too.

oooh MeganHarris is trying to pick a fight.

Don't let her get away with it. Attack

@156

Wait. So, your boyfriend is super awesome and perfect and we can continue to mock him?

@147 - how would you know what a woman looks like after getting banged? We decided last night that you are a gay dude in some basement in Ohio.

lol #161.
Yes. I'm sure she spent hours alone every night practicing her scales, and recording songs onto her old 4-Track recorder, and putting out newspaper ads seeking bandmembers and rehearsing with them in her garage, and working hard to save up money to buy herself some equipment - what? What's that? Everything was handed to her on a silver platter, you say? Oh. Sorry. I had her mistaken for an actual songwriter.

Mamacita has pubic lice and Gonorrhea and Genital Herpes, she got it from Jacq who gave it to Ez-EEEE who gave it to oshkoshb-goshdammgosh who gave it to jugsgirl who gave it to boobtube who gave it to Obadiah who gave it to CocoNutz who gave it to booface

I love Kim and MeghanHarris like some retards love to bang their heads into a wall until they knock themselves unconscious.

What I mean is, if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, and its name is MeganHarris or Kim, spray it with penicillin and Windex, and let the dog fuck it.

MeganHarris, we do not believe you. You're a 42 year old tranny. We've seen your "blog" and you have no friends.

JugsGirl @160 - exactly. But you forgot, "and I eat kittens"

@167 - then shoot the dog. Poor dog.

@166

I'll have you know that I don't have pubic lice!!!! It's scabies.

@167

I asked my dog and he said "Absolutely not.", which is saying something, cause a few minutes ago I watched him eat some of his own puke.

#163 - In the Seacrest thread, Megan admitted she's had a crush on Mateo for 4 years. I hope boyfriend leaves her over this. That is, if he's not still under Stallion's car from that night he and Pete Doherty ram him over.

Kim, I wouldn't have gotten herpes from your dad if he'd just kept his penis out of your dirty mother.

*ran*

You guys (pertaining to those who have been making my day)

If brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to power an ant's motorcycle around the outside of a penny.

Let the mother bashing begin!!

This is fun. You people put a lot of thought into your posts.

(I know, I’m stupid, blah blah)

osh-kosh -

do you now how i know your gay?

you gave me pubic lice and Gonorrhea and Genital Herpes.

(By the way - the lice are easy to get rid of - shave off your landing strip) Hopefully the Windex, Valtrex, and Penicillin will handle the rest.

Sorry boobtube, we were just too wrapped up in the moment. i thought telling you about my std nest would kill some of the romance. But if you come over later - I'll spray you with Windex.

I think she needs to "drop some friends of at the pool" real bad.

@173

(I know, I’m stupid, blah blah)

It's almost kind of sad that you finally realize it. Almost.

Kim, your incoherent ramblings need to stop. If you want to play, at least make a little sense. What makes sense to me is you take a couple more ludes, finish off that bottle of Popov and lay down for a "nap" on the railroad tracks you've been hookin' near all week.

I know. you people really opened my eyes today.

Wow this is better than therapy!

I'm sorry, I really don't want to butt in on this but after reading...

"If brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to power an ant's motorcycle around the outside of a penny"

... you're trying WAY too hard. It's bad. It's embarassing. It's hilarious.

MeganHarris-

You eat kittens!! You are the most vial disgusting tranny walking the streets.

Judging by the times on your posts, it took you 12 minutes to think of 3 really small things and put them together in a not-funny sentence. Ant motorcycle? WTF?

"I know, I'm stupid..." whose side are you on?

Just to be clear, you can wipe down anything with Windex and it is the new cure for std's? Just checking...

Kim is so stupid she thinks that ants ride motorcycles. What a cunt.

@182

"Just to be clear, you can wipe down anything with Windex and it is the new cure for std's? Just checking...

Yes. It works especially well for the clap. Don't ask me how I know that.

Not just for STDs anymore, I think windex cures the avian flu too.

I think I'll start giving the chickens windex instead of water.

I have nothing to say, I'm laughing too hard...
Wait, yeah I do - Kim is Ashley Simpson and MeganHarris is Jessica, and this explains the logic behind why ants ride motorcycles around pennies when you feel like Nazi Germany.
I think Simon should whisper that to Paula on the next 'Idol'.

Jacq, I'm not sure if he lived that night. Pete wouldn't let me stop and check. We were so fucked up that night and he kept making me park the Jag in different spots. Then we would go buy another one. He is such a character.

MeganHarris is twenty two huh? Thats prime age to give the ATM to. Megan, you wouldn't mind if I put some Italian Sausage in your ass and then make you blow me, would you?

And don't lie you little slut, like Tom you love the cock!!!!!!!

Starting now, I'm passing around a petition to have Kim removed from Superfish because I looked and there is a picture of her next to obnoxious in the dictionary. I also looked up ant motorcycle. It says "very small motor bike for bugs; see also: flimsy retort."

Oh, biatcho i'm not clever enough to make that thing about the ant's motorcycle up, come on, you must know me better than that by now. I heard it on TV. you know cuz i'm stupid and all that other stuff i discovered today.

@186

"I think Simon should whisper that to Paula on the next 'Idol'."

Wait. Won't that make the moth and the corn flake feel really left out?

Stallion - look out! MeganHarris can ONLY take the sausage up the pooter, as "she" has no cooter, "she's" a dude. But who's to judge? Oh, yeah, me.

Megan Harris is a douch bag who thinks Paris Hilton is a good singer (even though she really listens to 'indie rock'). Yeah right you dumb slut.

Nuff said.

and we all know pennies are the most useless form of currency, they should just be banned. Why would an ant want to use a penny anyways? Why not a dime... less surface area to ride the motorcycle around. Maybe a quarter, to show their growing status within the ant community.

@193

Shit, why don't we all go totally crazy and give the ant a silver dollar?!!!! It'll get mad props from all its ant friends.

I guess I have to make fun of Kim too...

This week on the Discovery Channel, "The Deadliest Catch", featuring Kim's pussy. Watch in amazement as these fisherman risk their lives for "The Kim King Crab"....

Wait for it....

Wait for it.....

@156...
"oh my god, i feel like nazi germany!".
What exactly does Nazi Germany feel like? Just curious.

First!!!!!!!

Anytime Now.....

Almost there....

Whoop, her arms are still skinny, so I guess she is pregnant.

Good. The Superficial specializes on criticizing fat, pregnant, miserable, suicidal women, right? This moment just couldn't get any better.

Two Hundred and First !!!

Jacq. i'm doing all of this from my office. i'm at work right now and keep sneeking in time to write posts to all of the really pathetic people who seem so interested in what i have to say. it didn't take me 12 minutes to think of that. I'm finishing up payroll for my employees. i never thought i could make such a stir. it's just so much fun!!

Dammit -- - A nobody came in and stole my thunder

silver dollars! I forgot about them fucks.
I know my brain capacity would not be able to properly fill up the gas tank of your standard ant Hog in order to lap around a silver dollar though. Damn it, i am going against everything I believe - I am gonna agree with Kim and stick with the pennies.
who doesn't like copper?

I would be forgivable - if post 201 was funny

silver dollars! I forgot about them fucks.
I know my brain capacity would not be able to properly fill up the gas tank of your standard ant Hog in order to lap around a silver dollar though. Damn it, i am going against everything I believe - I am gonna agree with Kim and stick with the pennies.
who doesn't like copper?

Since when did the janitor get to finish up payroll?

Whatever Kim...

"I'm finishing up payroll for my employees."

Yeah right... Eat me you tool.

Whatever Kim...

"I'm finishing up payroll for my employees."

Yeah right... Eat me you tool.

Jugs, what were you waiting for?

apologies for duplicates.

And seriously, "my employees". CEO's don't run payroll. Admin assistants do. I know because we go thru them like shit thru stink where I work because they're all useless, lazy dickstains on the underpants of life.

So now giving out allowance to your kids counts as "my employees"

It's a pedometer.

@230 By "employees" you mean "child hostages" and by "payroll" you mean "attaching electrodes to their genitals" right?

Well, if you must know

I was waiting for post number 201. So I could be like all the other cool fucks who claim first. But then A nobody came in and posted an unfunny post about Avril. Why is she even posting something about Avril here, this is not the place.

Post 201 was to be my nirvana.

YES!!! #216!!!1

two words: ant bling.

Janitors and Payroll......Fucking classic....

HAHA Jugs. You funny

Mad scientist,

Im sorry for stealing your number, I know how you feel. If I could give it back I would. I really feel bad.

I hear you Solid Gold, that crack smoke it a total bitch when you're behind the wheel. Plus, I hear Nicole Richie gives a bangin' BJ.

whod a thought a shitty avril lavign post would inspire so many comments. superfish is my favorite place on line but this kind of shit is killing it.

i'm doing all of this from my local free clinic. i'm working on finding some johns right now and keep sneeking in time to jerk off to MeganHarris who seemed so interested in what i had in that pipe. it didn't take me 12 minutes to make 45 cents. I'm finishing up handjobs for my favorite clients, i never thought i could make 45 cents. it's just so much fun!!

no no. this kind of shit is keeping it alive. the posts lately have been boring as fuck. HEAR ME WRITER, YOU GOT BORING. the only joy i get recently is from reading the comments. and i think the number of posts today means only one thing is lacking from the superfishy: a chat room. how much more fun would it be to harpoon kim the whale in real time? although imagining her sobbing and trying to come up with something clever to say back to the insults is pretty entertaining on its own.

It's fun to be annorexic and fat at the same time!

oshkosh, while your there... get your balloon knot looked at will ya?

@225

WORD!!!!!!!! Who gives a shit about Avril's pot belly? I like making fun of people and telling everyone about my STDs, not to mention disclosing my disgusting scat fetish. Why the hell would I want to comment on the actual story? I've got all kinds of other shit to talk about. Get it??? Shit??? Like, I'm a scatologist and they...like.......shit...............oh, nevermind.

Kim, if by "payroll" you mean "failing at life" you're not near done yet.

Hey you GUYS! i think managers at kfc totally do payroll.

btw 225, great idea :)

"If brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to power an ant's motorcycle around the outside of a penny"

Good one. I'm not saying I could do better, but that joke really sucked.

I honestly can't believe how ridiculously entertaining this shit it. Call me an ass-kisser, but DAMN you are some funny mofos. I used to think I was funny until I came to this site. Then I heard Kim's penny joke and I felt better about myself. Hey Kim, I'm not previewing...this is crazy...this is crazy...this is crazy....

uhmm. nazi germany. the gestapo? heavy questioning? demanding answers? Nuremberg Trials? Show me your papers?

some of us WEREN'T on acid during sophomore year history.

Stallion, you MAKE girls suck you off? They cant do it on their own accord?

sheeesh, guys, settle down!

a chatroom? oh my. i'd be fired for sure. than i'd be reduced to eating cheetos and sitting in a dark room alone with nothing but the comforting glow of my computer screen hitting the refresh button so many times my computer explodes. and then what would i do?

Oh, MeganHarris. It was so much better when you had superhuman restraint and never responded to anything.

Spatz, lmao. luckily, like Kim, I am my own boss. viva los cheetos.

#228 - As a scatologist, can you tell when other people are full of shit?

I love that we're all focusing on getting to know each other today.

SUPER WRITER - GIVE US A NEW STORY. The rats are taking over the city. Er, wait, the ANTS are taking over the city.

227 - that was a translation of what Kim was saying earlier, but I just came back from the free clinic. They said my balloon knot was tied too tight, and now I have 3 weeks to live. I think I'll spend 20 of my last days fucking with Kim. The other day I'll go swimming with dolphins and spend some time with my loved ones.

wow, you guys must have a whole hell of a lot of time on your hands because some of you have been arguing about nothing for 5 HOURS! crap, i wish i didn't have a life so i could be on the SF for that long....

avril truly does look like a midget in this picture. a drowning midget. do something with those nasty extensions! you'd think she didn't have any money or something....

ps. tom STILL loves the cock.

233 - you've described MeganHarris' situation pretty well. Of course, you left out all the "pretending to be a chick" stuff.

234 posts so far!

234 posts so far!

Ok, if i'm the janitor at KFC, what do all of the intellectuals on this site do that allow them to spend so much time analyzing my life?

and people, didn't we have the sarcasm conversation before?? if you think the ant's motorcycle joke was meant to be seriously funny, you read into things too much. i'm feeding you dogs. it's pure amusement to me. i like that you think i'm some fat KFC janitor.

maybe i am....or not? maybe you are??

i like fried chicken.

actually, now it's more than that but the page was giving me trouble grrrr

#232- First, he makes me. Then he convinces he that I wanted to and I liked it. I wouldn't keep going back if it didn't taste so goddamn delicious.

I'll take mine to go Kim! And I'm in a hurry please. No I don't need any fucking ketchup... it's chicken!

all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch. all work and no play make kim a crazy bitch.

@242

I'd like a 2 piece, all white, with mashed potatoes and a biscuit. Root beer, no ice. Also, can you pick up some gas? The ant's motorcycle is out thanks to that long trek around the silver dollar. K, thanks!

mamacita would you like me to pee in that for you?? please drive up.

mama, i think i really, really peed myself. stop it.

Oh great memories of sophmore year, remember when the acid was good and didn't cost more than your lunch money!

@236

Yes, I can tell when someone is full of shit. I can tell you that Kim is full of shit when she says that this is pure amusement to her. She's actually sobbing into the grease vat and getting yelled at by the shift manager for taking so long with the GD fries.

I run an office. ok a porn shop. ok a whore house. ok im a crack whore. goddamn its like nazi germany over here with your questioning.
kim likes fried chicken. im not taking the easy joke there... will someone else do it for me please?

oh and mamacita it's a penny. we already talked about this. the penny is the best coin to drive around. not too big not too small.

Hey, MeganHarris, it was funny when you said you felt like Nazi Germany, but when I feel like Communist Russia I just take some aspirin.
Your perception of humor and sarcasm is stunning.
Thanks for that wicked flashback to 10th grade - it was totally trippy.
And remember when you didn't know if Chicken of the Sea was chicken or fish? That always confused me too, so I don't think you're stupid.

Ez-EEEE also likes fried chicken. we eat lunch together at the nazi germany camp we work at.

Megan, not alot of girls like to suck cock after you have your dick in their ass but since you would do it on your Honda, give me a call bitch 1-800-ATM-4MGN, we'll set a date. Unless you want me to call your secertary, in that case I would need Kim's number.......

248 Kim. Congratulations. That is the first funny thing you've ever written. Pedantic, but funny. Way to go.

Hey EZ, thanks for sharing. I am an fbi agent; just here because I have been following MeganHarris and the moths.

@248

Dude. Get it straight. I'm a scatologist, not a urophiliac. Geez, no wonder the shift manager keeps yelling at you.

#27-
No! She's not Canadian! She's not, I tell you! She's nooooot! (Cries)

255. Posted by Kim on April 13, 2006 03:42 PM

Ez-EEEE, i need a friend, will you be my friend? please? *tear*

___________________________________________

no.

Isn't MeganHarris a dude?

Kim - Oops! You lost it. We'll always cherish that moment when you were a little funny.

You're almost as puerile as that gay guy, MeganHarris.

@254

"Hey, MeganHarris, it was funny when you said you felt like Nazi Germany, but when I feel like Communist Russia I just take some aspirin."

I don't know if that was good advice, OshKosh. Cause when I feel like Dictatorial Cuba, I have to take some Tylenol PM AND drink some Peach Schnapps.

@261

Good call.

trotter, i didn't even post anything after you said i was funny. how did i lose it?

264 - How about feeling like Hurricane-ravaged New Orleans? Isn't that when you have the shits and your ears are bleeding, and then your dad comes up and kicks you in the crotch? What do you take for that?
Answer: Chocolate!

#264. with psycho stalkers like you, who needs enemies?

#257 & 248 - Let's get one thing straight. That post was not funny. And, Kim, for your info the grammar in that post is jacked. It is jacked over and over and over and over.

#258 - Whew! I thought you were after me. I am soooo good looking, it's criminal.

i felt like opressed north korea once, but then i thru up on my shoes.
no medicine in the world can beat a good purging session. learn from me avril.

ya know what
i threw up
not thru up.
thats just silly.

@265 - You are so lame. You posted at 253 & 255.

These numbers come AFTER 248, which was slightly funny.

Poor girl. If you ARE a girl.

*yawn*

Way to report on old news.

I want something more recent like Britney Spears' bowel movements. Only not that.

@268 - you're right. I was mistaken. I'll go windex my eyes now.

To me, the Superifical is like that hoagie from the Simpson's episode. Homer gets the ginormous sandwich and is determined to eat the whole thing, but it gets mold and starts to make him sick before he can. Then, Marge throws it away and he fishes it out of the trach can ans tells it he can't stay mad at it. That's me when there are no good stories, but then a day like this comes along and I can't stay mad at you Superficial.

P.S. I'm just hanging in here for all of the juicy action. Can someone let me know if any new stories get posted ?

@264

Who needs enemies? Well, I'm gonna guess...................you? What did I win?

@266

Dude, I thought the symptoms of Hurricane-ravaged New Orleans were being ridiculously sweaty, swimming in your own crap and vomit, and then getting your FEMA money only to blow it on a Prada bag and then starve for the next 3 months. What do I take for that? LSD. Unfortunately, I didn't stop doing acid after sophomore year history class.

New Lindsay Lohan getting waxed story..

KIM JONG-IL IS HOT!

(I meant to post that to EZ. sorry.)

#271

right and in post #257 you said i was funny then in #263 you said i lost it. i posted nothing between 257 & 263!

275 - Yes, chocolate-covered LSD.

271 comments for Avril????? Oh wait, most of the comments are of the "your post sucks", "no yours does" type.

Avril looks shit hot! I can't wait for my boys to grow up and start bringing 'em home. "Hey paw, lookee what I done caught!"

Kim - keep looking. Somewhere you'll find someone who cares. Oh, nevermind. No you won't. You will die alone.

What the hell was this supposed to be about again. wasn't it about Avril's tiny belly? I think Kim should just sign off now, before this really gets out of control. She does seem like she's trying really hard though. you guys are vicious :)

kim wont die alone, thats just mean.
im sure she has some very devoted cats.
cats love ppl who smell like chicken.

She will die alone

MeganHarris is on her way over to eat the cats.

hmm i thought cats loved people that smell like tuna.

boogaloo. you know from personal experience?? you tuna stinking cunt!!

Me i'm not an animal lover.

i lost my train of thought reading all this...who's the blonde chick and why is she sportin' a woody?

kim,

now wasn't post 287 a little harsh? you should consider a refresher course in charm.

im not an animal lover either but it doesnt stop me from letting the dog lick my private bits when i bend over.
i mean...
kim sux.

And seriously guys. Chill out with all the poster-bashing! Unless we're all famous here, I don't understand why we are turning our insults toward each other.

kitty_kat -

watch out for the MeganHarris, I heard somewhere that she eats cats. Also watch out for Kim, she kidnaps cats to pleasure her inner most naughty thought.

Also, how do you know we are not all famous?

i agree with #289 about Kim being harsh, and a tad gross, but when i went back and read most of the thread, i don't really blame her.

im angelina jolie.
worship at the alter of my lips and tits.

wow. i wouldn't assume that i was addressing anyone in particular. i mean, unless it were true or something...

me, i am an anmial lover. but i don't think cats have any remorse.

ewwwwww......

if i'm not mistaken i think i don't like you likes kim.

maybe kim doesn't need all those cats anymore, and she will give them to MeganHarris.

is someone actually defending Kim??.... No way!... this is way too entertaining...

jugsgirl. what? that rambling sentence makes no sense. i think your brain is sleepy.

"if i'm not mistaken i think i don't like you likes kim"

299

#300. well it's been an interesting day, but it's almost 5, so it's time to go home. thanks for an amusing day!!!!

I love all of you!!

#298

Ok Dummy,

I'll give you the dumbed down version of what happened.

The poster "i don't like you" defended you. (see post 293)

So I posted that maybe "i don't like you" likes kim. ( see post 296)

get it?

i bet "i don't like you" hates you now for being the dumb skank you are.

"i don't like you" will now join the dark side.

301?

Wow I got 301, without trying. I'm so excited! Three Hundred and First.

dammit.

Kim, like I told you before, go shoot yourself in the fucking face. Seriously, do it.

oh, sorry. you should have put "i don't like you" in quotes so i would know it was a person's name. if you read it and don't know that is someone's screen neame it really doesn't make sense.

I see the "Avril Levigne has a belly" post is still the MeganHarris free for all. Damn, 300 comments?

Lets see if we can break 400, huh?

Aw, Jugs that blows. Missed it again. :( Sorry dude.

Fuck off Megan. Sign off and don't come back.

Now that Kim left, and I got my wish of being "First" - I feel today was not totally wasted.

I will now leave all the "firsts" to others since I have had my 15 seconds of fame.

Everyone should have dreams