Mar 10 2006Nicole Ritchie autographs unborn fetus

i don't know for certain, but i'm pretty sure the baby's response is "EAT SOMETHING"

Yeehaw!!!!i have to go buy a lottery ticket. First Post!!!!! I liked Nicole beter when she was fat

Does Nicole Ritchie have legs? Pigeons have more meat on their legs than she does. And what the fuck is up with those god awful over sized sun glasses she wears? Those are quite fugly.

d'oh, no first post for me. boo hoo

goddamn you to hell, big fat momma! i wanted first post! her legs are scary, and make me cry.

It's a pretty sad day when all you aspire to is to have your pregnant tummy signed by a famous whore...

I'm sure Nicole's words were lost on the fetus, I mean babies don't respond to anything without breasts. Eat a sandwich, damn!

Enough with the first post shit.... you people never get the first post anyway, so you'd think you'd stop trying. I guess it's kind of like a bird that keeps flying into a window because it doesn't realize that there is glass there... very little brain function.

#6 wait a minute you've got'em mixed up. Stickpole Richie is the one with the eating disorder and Parisite IS the skank!

omg those legs ... what happened? even lipo or bowflex won't get you legs like that.

I keep having this vision of running into Nicole Ritchie at some NY night club and throwing Twinkies at her. So now, I always keep a couple in my handbag at all times, just in case...

I hope to God that the government has secretly coated each and every one of those 'books' with a chemical that prevents the buyer from conceiving a child. No moronic, brain dead,celebrisuck who buys that wretched excuse for a book should be allowed to procreate.

Time to start thinning the herd.

p.s. Last time I saw glasses like that was on the Golden Girls. And yea, I have the whole collection on DVD.

she has a book out, thats funny....

I wish all of these "first post" assholes would have stayed in their own mother's womb.

I checked out the novel on Amazon and noticed three things:
1. The words "A Novel" are printed six times on the front cover. The publisher clearly knew that if they only said it once, we just wouldn't believe it.
2. The word "club" appears nine times within the first three pages (yes, I attempted to read an excerpt).
3. Nicole--or whoever wrote this thing--uses "double-bad" as an adjective. No, not "doubly-bad," which would be bad enough, but "double-bad, as in "drugs would be double-bad for an addictive personality like hers."
AWESOME.

Hummm...I'll be sure to read this epic once I finish the phone book.

OUCH...look at those legs..i feel like they're gunna break off any second, if they haven't already

damn it, someone just shove that book in her mouth, maybe she'll eat that instead of food

I can't believe that she is the daughter of the guy that sings "Once, twice, three times a lady". I bet her book is just a collection of her saying, "That's hot" and "Do you love it?"...

People like NIcole and the fans who buy her book are the reason why I HAVE to finish college and get my degree and be something other than an insipid, flighty, baby-making, drug addicted, shopping-obsessed mall walker with no idea of what a thesis statement is.

Gee, nice gams Nic! Betty Grable would be envious.

anorexia on a stick

I am sorry but I think that pregnant bellies are ugly...and what is worse than the ugly ass stork legs of Ritchie is the fact that someone stupid enough to go to her book signing and read about the life of a spoiled, little, rich shit sack is about to bring another dumb person into the world.

Writing a message to an unborn fetus is stupid enough, but letting a nasty skank touch your stomache is even more stupid.

That;s fucking bullshit. I asked her to sign my penis once and her bodyguards' beat me up! You know, the penis is where it all starts! Maybe next time...

OMG!!! I'll bet Nicole was so freaked out by seeing that woman's giant belly!!! That's gotta be her worst fear. She is probably still forcing herself to throw up the lettuce leaf she had for lunch.

Those legs are sad. We're going to be reading about her the same way we read about Karen Carpenter in the 70s.

She should eat some pies.

She looks like a lollipop.

If Nicole stood sideways and stuck out her tongue, she'd be mistaken for a zipper.

well, one girl's "anorexia" is another girl's "willpower."

#19 - "People like NIcole and the fans who buy her book are the reason why I HAVE to finish college and get my degree and be something other than an insipid, flighty, baby-making, drug addicted, shopping-obsessed mall walker with no idea of what a thesis statement is."

You REALLY need to stay in college (are you on the 8-year plan or something?) because a thesis statement is something you learn in like 8th and 9th grade, so if you priding yourself on learning that now in college, you've got a long way to go.

Can a fetus catch herpes from a pen?

Hahahaha the look on that poor kids face.

"Dam you mom! Drag me out to a book signing and it's this useless whore. Of all people it had to be this stick. I will be in therapy for life!".

# 1 pretty much sums up all there is to read about this particular article. I almost woke my husband up laughing at that. Bravo.

1.) a fetus is always unborn
2.) feed her!!!!

What a successful young woman she is: famous for being the daughter of someone who was famous once and the former-BFF of someone whose inexplicable fame persists, now a published writer which is a gig some actually talented writers struggle to obtain, a "television star" if one counts utterly myopic reality television as actual "programming," and a tabloid sweetheart running a race toward death by trying to starve herself or party herself into the grave, whichever crosses the finish line first.

The world is completely "effed."

#26 OMG!

She does! That big head and tiny little body. It reminds me of "Head" from "So I Married An Axe Murderer".

#29 - I think you should know that we don't really mess with LaydeeBug here
might wanna tone it down just a bit..

Bitch is fat. Seriously Nicole, maybe you should try to drop a few. Yuck.

Wow totally priceless getting your pregnant belly signed by an alien.

So I haven't had time to read most of these other comments, sorry if this is a repeat. But, I must say, good god woman! Here's a new career goal she should consider. Maybe she could come to my anatomy/physiology class. Our current skeleton is a bit disintegrated, and she'd make a great skeletal anatomy lesson. And then she could go on to write a book about how important her role was to my education. Brownie points for you, Nicole! Ooops, ok ok, just kidding: Celery points for you, Nicole!

The stench of death follows Nicole wherever she goes. Repent while you can o skinny one, for the end is nigh.

"Come Out" Nicole is hilarious, I still totally adore her crazy skeleton ass.

#36 - "I think you should know that we don't really mess with LaydeeBug here
might wanna tone it down just a bit.."

Oh God! I'm sooo incredibly sorry...I totally didn't know that "we" don't mess with LaydeeBug...so what is going to happen now? A posse full of losers whose only friends are those they met while posting on an online message board are going to hunt me down and do what exactly? Write lame insults about me in retaliation of my pointing out that someone is a dumb ass? I'll totally keel over and die of shame and remorse. Seriously, get a life.

totally agree with #41.

oh and laydeebug, going to college probably still won't ever provide you half her pretty wardrobe,shallow comment?this is superficial.com anyway

she looks like alittle old granny bobblehead when she wears those fugly glasses of hers.

Where are all the fatty haters? The "stop calling her skinny, there's nothing healthy about being fat" people?

I love them. Why have they forsaken me?

Aside from what she looks like, and yes, a lollipop comes to mind, what the hell can she possibly write about? i didn't know she knew how to write much less read.

These days she looks like an 11 year old male cross-dresser. And pigeon legs are fabulous baby, they are SO in!

Nicole Ritchie has learned that you need to be rich and skinny to stay in the limelight. I don't have much to say about this story. I love curvy women and don't like anyone at this moment. The "Parent Trap" Lindsey was cute and sexy. I agree with number #24's comment. She is gonna be like that Carpenter broad. I think I am gonna stop watching television until the hourglass shape returns.

I love you, Mr. Fritz ;) And yeah, comment Nr 24 is sooo to-the-point. I mean, being anorexic is a serious issue but but what's unacceptable is that she's celebrated as a fashion icon, and the people around her behave like she is "perfectly normal". I can't believe that she's still denying having an eating disorder!!

#48

Uh, wasn't she, like, 12 in Parent Trap? That's kind of gross.

#49

Actually, she did admit to having been bulimic in Vanity Fair, although she did speak of it as being in the past and not a current problem.

maybe I'm insane....but am I the only person on the planet who thinks she's adorable the way she is? She's like a cute little Barbie, I just want to buy her clothes and dress her up.

#42- The only time I ever see you on this site is when you make fun of other posters. The reason we don't make fun of Laydeebug is because she has funny things to say on a regular basis and because she is an all-around nice, cool person. You on the other hand...not so much. Why don't you shut the fuck up and go watch some Golden Girls.

By the way, Nicole must be an amputee now because I could swear the bartender used her leg to garnish my martini with an olive last night...

Shouldn't we be applauding the fact that she can actually write?

lysistrata11 - let me guess, you're like a nearing 40 year old woman looking for a lot of woman on woman love? Something tells me I may not get a response to this one, huh? LOL!!!

#7 I'll have you know that Nicole does eat sandwiches:

http://today.ccopinion.com/nicole-richie-eating-something/

Therefore, your comment is irrelevant.

That child will be marked for life, as if having that woman for a mother wouldn't have been enough.

#52 Who do you think you are? Don't you have anything better to do than spend your whole day on this site with all your little virtual friends, most of whom are either 12 year old kids or 60 year old truckers posing?

There needs to be more people insulting the likes of posters like you who are so mind-numbingly retarded, that insulting them is the only way to try to get through to them. Don't you realize how utterly retarded you sound?

#19 Oh my god you are so awesome!!! You are going to college!! Wow! You really HAVE to finish college, huh? You are so amazing and smart. You must really be proud of yourself.

Gee, I would really hate to mess with you and all your smartness. You are so freaking intelligent and so superior to celebrities. Golly, you are so amazing and your posts are so funny. No one better mess with you!! I bet your term papers are outrageously awesome. You are such a scholar. You must really be proud of all the time you spend on here posting your witty comments. Oh, except for the times you don't have access to the computer because you got fired from your job where you spent all day on the computer.

You are so smart and cool.

#58

I'll take this one. lysistrata11 is actually very funny AND cool, both of which you obviously have no understanding of. Funny how you're talking a bunch of shit to lysistrata11, who said nothing to you, but in the Oprah Winfrey thread, you accused ME of being confrontational and causing trouble. Projecting much? The problem you're experiencing can be summed up in a few words. You're a dumb ass.

#59

Go do your algebra homework and shut the hell up.

By the way, lysistrata11, that martini remark was hysterical!

LaydeeBug, #58 uses the word retarded quite a lot. That reminds me of someone......... Who could it be?

I meant the movie with Jamie Leigh Curtis. I don't remember its title. Still, The Parent Trap showed us Lindsey before she became a drunken whore.

#61

Ooooohhhh, you're talking about Freaky Friday. Yeah, she was actually really cute in that movie. You know my post was all in jest, right? I didn't really think you were gross.

#60 - ah do many people think you are retarded and mentally ill? Maybe you should start listening to them.

You are always stirring up things with others. Someone needs to point that out to you. All you do is post the most retarded posts and attack others. And when someone does it to you you spew out more of your nonsense.

why the fuck is everyone being so mean today? stop unless it's both mean AND funny please.

#63 Someone needs to point this out to you-you're ridiculous! Remember your post #59, you know, the one where you're completely unleashing your fury on LaydeeBug for no apparent reason and at no provocation from her? And yet, I'm the one stirring things up with others. Do you understand the term 'hypocrite'? I agree with Evangelia. Let's stop being mean. I'll stop talking to you/about you if you'll reciprocate.

Isn't ghost-writing sort of like lip-synching (Milli Vanilli anyone)?
Can we find out if she wrote the damn book by herself or (most likely) NOT and who actually wrote it??

If she used a writer and doesn't name him/her, is that false advertising? Someone enlighten me?

judging from the excerpt on amazon of the book, i'd say it's a safe bet she wrote it. if any non-celebrity turned in writing that bad, they'd likely be shown the door, pronto. apparently, the world is being overrun with stupid cunts.

#66

I agree with #67. Here's the definition of a ghostwriter:

A ghostwriter is an author who writes under someone else's name, with their consent. A ghostwritten book is deceptive — the author on the cover is not the actual writer. On the other hand, the market for books written by celebrities is greater than the market for books written by unknown writers. The celebrity gets a book and the ghostwriter gets paid. Finally, the book is better written.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghostwriter

That last sentence is key. This book is not well written. Here are a couple of quotes from it:

"[Chloe] was sitting on her ass in a funky puddle, the perfect metaphor for the pond of loser juice she'd been swimming upstream in ever since drugs had won her over."

she describes DJ Ray's (the love interest) look as having "an intensity that seemed more than just ambulance chasing"

"the kind of girl who'd get pregnant just to have an abortion to brag about"

Genius in the making, eh? If a ghostwriter was involved, I'd fire his ass if he came up with some shit like that.

#55-That made no sense. Come back to talk to the "big people" (adults) when you can form a coherent question. Damn, if I'm a 40 year old woman with a 22 year old fiance, then I'm doin' pretty good...

#58-Who the hell are you? Did I say anything to you? No? Then shut the hell up. "Don't you realize how utterly retarded you sound?" You must be EHsed's other screenname because I wasn't sure anyone else could be that stupid.

Mamacita, yes Belinda B. sounds familiar with all of the "retard" comments. Didn't this person stalk you (and Laydeebug) before?

"Lunch today will be cotton balls dipped in orange juice."

#69 Yes indeed! Unfortunately, I think that person is having another manic phase right now, which accounts for the sudden resurgence of her stunningly intelligent remarks. Dammit, why won't she take her lithium?

Girls, girls, girls. I know how to settle this little hissy-fit, a topless fight to the death.

I just read the excerpts to the "novel"...it's a tremendously stupid piece of trash that 14 year olds will lick up with a spoon. My brain cells fizzled out of existence as soon as I started reading, that was the worst 10 minutes I could spend online.

I didn't know that Nicole Ritchie was trying out for Willy Wonka in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Part 2.

No offense taken, Mamacita. I was a little tipsy from a few pints of Guiness. I have stated that I like curvy girls and I hope LiLo and Nicole Ritchie get their shit together soon.

I forgot what the origional topic is.....so......Tara Reid is a skank. Whew! I feel better now. ;)

"That made no sense. Come back to talk to the "big people" (adults) when you can form a coherent question. Damn, if I'm a 40 year old woman with a 22 year old fiance, then I'm doin' pretty good..."

lysistrata11 - do you REALLY want to go there? I mean, really, do you think I DON'T have the proof to back up the fact that you're a 39-year old woman cruising for chicks? Try me...

"You must be EHsed's other screenname because I wasn't sure anyone else could be that stupid."

And by the way, "paige" is not my "other" screen name, jackass. Unlike you, I'm not a loser who would have multiple screen names on a message board.

Does anyone find the whole concept of message boards to be comical? We (and that includes me) come in here, bash celebrities and celebrity wannabes. These people are total attention whores, and some of them are literally whores in the traditional sense, but these are all people we don't know AT ALL.

And then some of us proceed to bash the people who post comments--people they likely have never met. And this is not directed at any particular poster--really, it isn't--but I just find the whole thing hilarious...and strangely addicting.

frankly, i love it
and, EHsed & BelindaB - you guys need a spliff real bad
and if you just give her a chance, LaydeeBug will make you wet your pants and if you're real lucky she might even sic her Dominican mother on you- then you'll wet your pants for sure
all of us are lame- that's why we're posting on here like dumbasses - if you notice, she's the only one who hasn't been checking back here to see what the losers are saying next
hmm

#77-go ahead with your proof, dear.

Take Honey's advice and share a spliff, or try some of these brownies I made. They are truly delicious. They're the only thing that could make the Simple Life funny.

Stay in school.

PS: Play nice

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2722636

can she sign my ass?