Mar 8 2006Natalie Portman is smarter than you

So that's why Jon Stewart's always saying how she makes him feel stupid whenever she guests on TDS.

She's doing this for some MTV show where they put celebs into classrooms. I had no idea she was so smart. Good for her.

(the course was Star Wars Mythology 101)

In a bid for the Nobel Peace Prize, Natalie had this to say:

- "My immediate reaction is that torture is wrong."

- "I don't think it's right to take down the Twin Towers."

- "Censorship is bad."

Thank GOD for that Harvard education. She should be giving her acceptance speech real soon.

I heard that Natalie ripped up a picture of George Bush in front of her students while soldiers played 'America the Beautiful' in the background as she said "Fight The Real Enemy!".

Sinead has taught her well.

so gimmicky. *YAWN*

From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natalie_Portman

Education-
Portman has held a 4.0 GPA throughout her high school and college academic career. She reported on a talk show, "I'd rather be smart than be a movie star" and that her goal was to graduate from college even if it ruined her acting career. Despite her high profile and the affluence of her parents, at 13 she switched ("because I couldn't stand it anymore") to the public Syosset High School in Syosset, New York, graduating in June of 1999. Portman reportedly had to miss the premiere of Star Wars: Episode I so she could study for her high school final exams.

After high school, Portman enrolled at Harvard College where she graduated with a bachelor's degree in Psychology on June 5, 2003. Portman is credited as a research assistant to Harvard Professor Alan Dershowitz's Case For Israel. She was a research assistant to Dr. Stephen M. Kosslyn's psychology lab as well. In 2005 Portman pursued graduate studies at Hebrew University in Jerusalem, Israel.

In addition to her native Hebrew and English, Portman has studied and/or can speak (to some degree) French, Japanese, German, and a little Spanish, and she is now learning to speak Arabic. She loves to read and is often found with a book.

As a student, Portman co-authored two research papers which were published in professional scientific journals:

Her 1998 high school paper on the "Enzymatic Production of Hydrogen" earned her a semi-finalist placement in the Intel Science Talent Search [3].
In 2002, she contributed to a study on memory called Frontal Lobe Activation During Object Permanence during her psychology studies at Harvard [4].

i was in that class at columbia. actually, that's the back of my head at the bottom of the photo. though everything movie stars do is some form of publicity stunt, natalie portman's discussion with our class was interesting and insightful. the class is a political science class on terrorism and counter-terrorism, a subject directly related to her new movie. both her formal education and her role in the film seemed to prepare her well for an academic discussion on these issues. the bottom line in my mind is that it's pretty cool when mtv cameras poor into your class room and your professor announces that natalie portman will take his place for the rest of the day.

Is Harvard College the same as Harvard University?

Natalie Portman is so smart that she doesn't ever respond to the hundreds of letters I mail her every month. She is so intelligent that she simply communicates with me via Superficial.com postings.

So, to answer you, dear Natalie, the answer is yes. Yes, I will hide naked in your bushes with a light saber and a bottle of Thunderbird. Anything for my love.

natalie portman can come teach any of my classes any day she wants...i'm glad she values her education so much, good for her.

The Serial Cynic, you sound like the superficial guy. are you the superficial guy or just a really good imitatator?

That is the back of my boyfriend's head, to the bottom left of the photo. I got to go with him to V for Vendetta b/c of that class and it was AMAZING.

harvard college is the undergraduate school of harvard university. a university, by definition, is comprised by a number of schools, both graduate/professional and undergraduate. a college, however, is usually just an undergraduate school, though some have added graduate programs.

Harvard College is the undergraduate part of Harvard University. "Universities" are made up of colleges and graduate schools. I guess you never went to either - dummy.

#4, Grphdesi23, are you really so ignorant as to take fragmented sentences from entire interviews and try to use it against the person to disprove their intelligence?

As a young child I was once taught that God blessed everyone in different ways. If you were extremely beautiful, you were dumb. If you were ugly, then you had a great personality and you got good grades and would be successfull. Natalie Portman has taught me the reality: God chooses some of his creations to be "super-people": talented, beautiful and smart. And he chooses others to be the opposite: dumb, fat, ugly and talentless (American Idol auditions anyone?). The latter creations are put on this earth solely for God's amusement. Like monkeys dancing in funny clothes.

The truth should be taught to kids earlier...thank you for listening everyone...goodnight

#7 suzy - are you done kissing natalie's ass yet?
so she's smart. so she went to harvard. she should be a professor then, because quite frankly she is one of the worst actresses in hollywood. her performance in garden state was so annoying it made be want to throw something at her oddly-shaped head.
i truly respect the fact that she's intelligent. i like to read too. but that doesn't mean i can act, and it doesn't mean that natalie can either.

Lol, she may be smart, but in that pic it looks like she's saying, "I wish my breasts were this big!" Yes, I'm very mature.

#17 got hit with the bitter end of the jealousy stick, and the naive end of the Star Wars stick.

I think the camera caught her during the metaphorical portion of her lecture:

"Now, picture if you will-
A girl with BBBIIIIGGGG juggs...."

Natalie Portman is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. And by us, I mean guys who are into brainy and beautiful women.

#13 - #14

What's the difference between Harvard College and Harvard University?
Harvard College is a part of Harvard University focusing on educating undergradutes. It is part of the Faculty of Arts and Sciences and offers programs in the liberal arts.
Harvard University refers to the entire educational institution, including the undergraduate college, the graduate and professional schools, research centers, administration, and affiliates.

A list of the schools and major academic units shows some of the hierarchical structure, as does an organizational chart.

http://www.harvard.edu/help/faq_index.html/faq22.html

for someone who calls themselves the "LinguisticAnthro" you would think they would know the difference between a college and a university....

#8, You go to Columbia and you don't know the difference between "poor" and "pour"? That makes me giggle!

Yeah, yeah, yeah Portman is hot, smart, etc., etc...

She's a suprisingly gentle lover and totally open to new things. Bringing in the extra girl was totally her idea. I said no because it would cheapen our bond and the beauty of our lovemaking.

Plus she's the only girl I know who loves Israel more than me. She told Spielberg, repectfully, that "Munich" was crap. And for that she is my hero. When we make love and she's looking deeply into my eyes she screams out dirty things in Hebrew. It's kind of awesome!

She is smarter than me. But this is America, where no one gives a shit.

We give Oscars to Three 6 Mafia, and I love it.

Aah...the bachelor's degree in psychology. I loved my psych classes, even a monkey could get perfect grades. Nothing better for the old gpa than snagging a few psych and sociology credits, highly recommend it.

Not a surprise she had a 4.0 considering 90% of the students graduate with honors.

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/Commentary/com-3_7_06_TS2.html

#8, you are completely full of shit. And if you're telling the truth, then you're one of the bottom-of-the-rung Columbia students. I've seen it myself--a few retarded people here at UC Berkeley who somehow make it in based on connections, money, sports, minority status, or doing a shitload of ass-kissing community service in high school. The only person I know who was admitted and went to Columbia is a veritable genius who definitely knows the difference between "pour" and "poor." I highly doubt that you're telling the truth, and if it turns out that you are: your hair is gross.

I love Natalie Portman because she is a genuinely nice person, a great actress and she is very, very smart.

Good on her for doing this, and I bet she had a good time.

Heehee LMFAO @ the comment above mine about the dirty hair!!!

Of course she's smart- she's Jewish.

It's nice that the girl is bright. But after Garden State, I contemplated suicide so I would never ever see it on a rerun.

That and although she was a nice little girl in the professional, I didn't realize she would grow another inch and gain five pounds to become a smurf.

All smurfs need to die, and die pronto.
Even if she is a smart runt, she needs to lighten the smurf gene pool before it's too late.

sorry to burst your bubbles, but "golden child" natalie portman actually transferred to harvard from the not-so-prestigious tel aviv clown college (haifa satellite campus), where she double-majored in aramaic and hitting arabs in the face with cream pies (kosher, of course), earning a measly 2.35 gpa ... the ONLY reason she got in at all is that outgoing harvard president lawrence h. summers happens to be a huge star wars nerd/israeli clown buff. (some speculate that the brewing controversy over her admission ultimately led to his early departure.)

#32--sure, there are plenty of brilliant jewish folks who have made great contributions to society... but here are ten reasons not to jump the gun on that sweeping generalization:

1) corey haim
2) corey feldman
3) dr. laura
4) goldberg (formerly of the wcw)
5) rob schneider
6) dustin diamond (aka "screech")
7) kathie lee gifford
8) howie mandel
9) geraldo
10) paul wolfowitz

I respect her for making the most out of her silverspoon :)

She was bad in Star Wars, so was everyone, thats just how they were written. Lucas is just like Tolkien incredible vision, world changing vision, but cant write worth shite.

Not to mention Lucas didnt give the actors any artistic freedom. He has actually conceded to that, its his way or you arent a part of it.
Christensen(New Vader) said "Im gonna get fucked" to Samuel Jackson on the sidelines about Lucas telling him to whine it up, more petulance. (This was taken straight from the official star wars site.)

Cant blame the actors for Star Wars you can only blame Lucas. And considering he changed American cinema forfuckingever, with one movie while only being paid 100,000 for the job I respectfully suggest you to fuck off :D

i am a student who is busting her ugly, talentless ass to get into some law school. You don't even realize the extent of my jealousy...why her?? I mean...Can she rub it in my face even more..yes I am not in movies...I don't have 4.0 GPA...im not a size 2...goddamn...where's that bottle of vodka...it won't tell me im a failure like natalie does...no it wont! ohhti cutie tootie...nooo it wont aksdhfaksdhf who am i kidding im already drunk...ahahh i love you my cute little vodka bottle....i feel good now...SCREW YOU NATALIE!! go act in some more sappy/nerdy movies!! i hate you!!! oh i wish i were you....

someone...get me a therapist...

dear tito..
looks like you got "hit with the bitter end of the jealousy stick" (does that even make sense?) You're the least famous of the jackson siblings, what a shame.
to paraphrase grphdesi, it's a fucking JOKE. stop talking about jealousy sticks and naive sticks or whatever, and pull that giant stick out of your own ass.

Iouliana, if its any consolation, I doubt Portman had to bust any ass to get where she is.

Wow this whole thread is cracking me up. How ironic that it is titled "Natalie Portman is Smarter than You," and then almost every post that follows has at least one misspelled word or grammatical error. And that includes the main post which I believe should say "palate cleansing" instead of "palette cleansing" unless of course Mr. Superfish has been painting artistic renderings of fat Cheeto-slurping white trash has-beens. Surprisingly, even #25 who chastises Mr. Columbia for not knowing the difference between "poor" and "pour" doesn't know how to spell surprisingly! Sorry didn't mean to go all Teacher on you guys, but I think the headline is right. But she is not smarter than meeeeeee, bwwwaaahaahaaaa......

39. Posted by TaiTai
"Wow this whole thread is cracking me up. How ironic that it is titled "Natalie Portman is Smarter than You," and then almost every post that follows has at least one misspelled word or grammatical error"

Including yours :)

#39 How many times did you run your own post in Spell/Grammar Check?

Am I the only one who thought Garden State was a good movie?

What happened to the important issues on this site?...You know, like racism and abortion. Education-schmeducation, and that's all I have to say about that.

Ha! As if any of you stupid cunts are in college (or "university") or have ever earned a real degree.

Fucking lol @ #3

TaiTai, you lame fuck, chastising people for mispellings (which are more likely just typos) is the the epitome of faggotry. Misspelling a word doesn't disprove your intelligence, you silly cunt.

I liked Garden State, but the ending was pig shit. And Closer...that was so good!

i cannot believe not a single person has said this... so i will...

i'd hit it! i'd hit it right over the professor's desk. oh yes, i would.

Eye went too a ivy leegue skool too. Eye went to dArtmooTh. Gnatillee shud bea prOud to mak gud Movee's and bea smart too.

bafongu You stupid idiot! You spelled something wrong, it's supposed to be "whendt" not "went" like you spelled it. Some people are so stupid...

People PEOPLE!!! Something has gone wrong...it's like Civil War has broken out on the Superficial....let's step back and remember what this site is about....

Now, hold hands take a deep breath and let's collectively make celebrities CRY!

Q: Ms. Portman, your breasts are so small. If you were to enlarge them, how big would you want them?

A: (captured in photo) This big!

I attend Columbia, and I can confidently say that despite her talents, Miss Portman is quite the arch-Zionist scumbag. She might be alright on screen, but she doesn't belong at the front of a college classroom.

Natalie Portman is short.
P.S. College is for hippies

she makes me want to stay after class and pound her erasures.

what is she saying in that classroom, anyway?
"dude, zach braff's balls were this big!"

i hope there's a new update soon.

AWW she's so smart, she really is!

tsc.
i'm not rich, or a size 2, e havent acted with jude law, i dont speak 5 languages, i didn't go to harvard.......
that depresses the hell out of me

show me some more paris hilton! :(

Sometimes certain people are so perfect you wish bad things upon them. Forunately, I don't think that Natalie is such a good actress, but she makes an awfully cute pixie!

Patrick, arch-Zionist scumbag? That's a mouthful!

Natalie schmatalie...UPDATE THE SITE!!! Don't tell me you're too busy w/I Watch Stuff {crap!}.

Wow #44 I must have touched a nerve. Geez I thought the whole mwhaaaaaaa thing might have tipped you off that I was kidding and in fact was not chastising anyone -- just thought it proved the whole point that Ms. Natalie Portman Harvard Madam was much smarter than all of us put together (except for me of course). Oh wait, if I was so smart I guess I wouldn't be on this site at all would I? And I must be even dumber than I thought because I still can't find any misspelled wurdz on my previous post. Too bad we can't all be rich, famous, fluent in several languages and .. um.. rich like her. Oh and hanging out with Zach Braff. Because that is my goal in life, really. Don't care much about history. Anyway I hope the next post about her has her hanging out in a bar with Paris Hilton and Tara Reid getting fat and doing shots out of someone's belly button. Someone hot. Like Zach Braff. Well maybe that wasn't a good example.

I resent her intelligence, her beauty, and her talent. She will be a success in any endevour in her life. She would also make a fantastic ritual offering to a Pagan god, which is what I suspect happened to most other goody two-shoes know-it-alls throughout history.

LOL at everyone here trying to talk as education specialists.

Natalie Portman is smarter than me.

Tai Tai,
How's my spelling?
May I have a sticker?

OK enough with this freaking Lisa Simpson, let's have a new update please. And as #60 mentioned, it better have nothing to do with "I Watch Stuff".. I Watch Stuff is not funny or interesting. I think you know that, because you disable comments whenever you post it. Are they paying the bills here or something?

Post a new story, you superficial biyatches!!!!!

Yeah, we need a new story. STAT.

That is the one thing I like about I Watch Stuff! - it updates more often.

I'm sick of these superfish blogs where everyone tries to be smarter than all of the previous bloggers. This thread and the damn Natalie Portman thread piss me off.

I honestly could care less about Madonna's opinion about American Politics or Natalie Portman's impressive education.

What really pisses me off is everyone getting all intellectual. I came to this website to be superficial and take my mind off my crazy workday. If I wanted to think I would have visited mensa.org.

This Thread = the damn Madonna story -- -- sorry too lazy to read it over

This is such a great site. I think this thread has made me laugh more then any other. SUch good funny comments. LOL Way to go Superficial viewers, keep up the good work!

"Posted by jugsgirl on March 9, 2006 01:30 PM

Natalie Portman is smarter me."

Jugsgirl - it's "smarter than I." Here's your sticker for effort, though. Muah!

LOL - I love you all...you guys/gals always make me laugh...at times even at my own expense. Peace Out!

Fatty Boom-Batty, it's not that Garden State was a bad movie. It wasn't. It had some original storyline, a hot hangout scene where dudes hook up with honeys, other than smurf girl.

It just wasn't good either. And that ending was lame.

As for Patrick of Columbia student claim, take your Zionist rant elsewhere. I hear that leftist tripe is real welcome in Tehran these days.

Don't buy into much on the Jewish praise thing but there's no reason to have some smug Ivy League leftists prattle on here.

Communism is dead. Get over it loser.
Oh yeah, and the Rosenbergs were guilty. And Jewish.

#40 says that Tai Tai (#39) had some sort of spelling/grammatical error. Can anyone find it? I can't.

#73 You asked for it!

"And that includes the main post which I believe should say "palate cleansing" instead of "palette cleansing" unless of course Mr. Superfish has been painting artistic renderings of fat Cheeto-slurping white trash has-beens."

"But she is not smarter than meeeeeee, bwwwaaahaahaaaa......"

Not that I give a crap, really, but I secretly love proofreading. It's weird, I know, but it's also very relaxing. It helps me work out the kinks after a major killing spree.

I've said this before, I just think it's a waste of your very expensive tuition. But if you really think that a Hollywood actor who happened to star in some movie about terrorism actually has anything of much substance to say on the subject...well, then I'm more certain than ever that getting into an Ivy League school is the hardest part.

p.s. Any spelling errors from this state university moron?

Stupid computer!!!! My previous post did have a sentence saying something about how starting a sentence with the conjunctions and/but was improper sentence structure, but my computer spazzed out and totally ruined my smarty pants post. Oh well. Back to reading some useless shit about Paris Hilton and her herpes.

I like reading about slutty dumb chicks with big tits more than booky waifs.

I'm sure natalie is decently smart...of course, let's not forget... being a MOVIE STAR at like the age of 8 helps with a lot of things

But i'll still give her credit--at least she's determined to do well in many different fields in life... unlike those dumbasses la lohan & paris, since we all know that their only determination in life is who to sleep with next

Mamacita, I don't think that's the spelling/grammatical error to which #40 is referring. (Good try on your part though). I base my assumption on the inclusion of the sentence "Wow this whole thread is cracking me up. How ironic that it is titled "Natalie Portman is Smarter than You," and then almost every post that follows has at least one misspelled word or grammatical error." So it turns out that the sentence is a question without the question mark. Tada!

Now that the great mystery is solved can we please move on to something interesting?

If she is so smart, then she should be able to give a full lecture while i'm banging her doggy style, in front of a full classroom of students.

Lulu, I respectfully disagree about your conclusion. The following is actually a statement and doesn't look like it was intended to be a question: "Wow this whole thread is cracking me up. How ironic that it is titled "Natalie Portman is Smarter than You," and then almost every post that follows has at least one misspelled word or grammatical error."

Perhaps you misread it. Either way, it doesn't matter. Sadly, we can't move on to anything more interesting, because all of the stories today suck balls. Hence, we've all been reduced to commenting on grammatical errors and misspellings. Hey!!! I used the word hence in a sentence! Yay!

Dr. Laura is NOT NOT NOT Jewish! She converted to Judaism late in life and has a totally WASPish shiksa soul! She's about as Jewish as Madonna is...pretending to be something doesn't make it so.

P.S. My comment above was directed at #34.

If Jewishness is just a religion, then anybody can be jewish. Jewishness cannot be a race because so called jews are white, therefore they are caucasian. So i guess what i am saying is that anybody can be jewish.

Actually, being a Jew is not just a religion, it's also an ethnic group. As are Mexicans (which I am, ooooo, surprise). Mexicans are still considered caucasian; however, they are also considered an ethnic group. That's what #82 was getting at. You can't be actually called a Jew unless that's your ethnic background. Otherwise, you're just a white person of the Jewish faith.

To the assholes that thought I didn't know the difference between colleges and universities: STFU. I have heard of "Harvard College" and thought perhaps it was an awesome scam designed by some crappy liberal arts school that just happened to have the same name, as a way to fool people into thinking they were accepted by a good school. Thank you to those who actually clarified.

I get the impression that her speech included the sentence "...and as soon as my payday comes, my boobs will be THIS BIG (motioning). Just me?

Well, when I have misspelling, it's because I'm so sooper smart that my thoughts race quicker than my fingers and my fingers are quicker than my eyes and that's why I hit the wrong keys on the board.

I misspell because of my higher intelligence quotient. So there, fucking Natalie "I'm Israeli and have a gorgeous face and a big brain and I don't even act that well" Portman. Nyah!

My comment about Dr. Laura was in response to the assertion that Natalie Portman is smart because she's Jewish.

You can choose to be Jewish, but you can't choose to be smart, right? (Enter: Dr. Laura)

I don't see what's the big deal about Portman.

Allegedly very smart, but what has she done with her intelligence? She went to college, WOW, big deal. I went to college too. All I see her doing with her "intelligence" is going around bragging about it and parading her HARVARD degree throughout Hollywood. Is that what intelligence is for? To advertise it and parade it, and shove it down everyone's throat?

As for Portman's career, I find her one of the absolute worst actresses to ever grace the silver screen. Absolutely awful. Couldn't act if her life depended on it.

So there's Portman's contradiction: So "intelligent" ,yet doing nothing with her intelligence. And so "devoted" to acting, even though she's got zero talent. The woman is a complete failure. All she's got in her favor is the media putting her up on a pedestal and having everyone think she's the next best thing. I think she's the next worst thing.

I think she's more interested in padding her resume and parading it through Hollywood than in pursuing either acting or using her intellect. The woman probably suffers from a severe case of narcissistic personality disorder. Let's pray for her recovery.

So are catholics an ethnic group? Or just a religion?

I love this girl!
she's my favorite.

Conjecture and supposition. Let us give her the benefit of doubt. However, there is a difference between being smart... and being wise.